The Color White
by Maddylovesyou
Summary: Gon is a struggling medical student working towards his degree while being haunted by the cold. One day he finds a cat with fur as white as snow. Gon has a new appreciation for the color white.
1. Chapter 1

The snow falls steadily, never stopping as the frozen rain drops cover the earth, tucking her in a white blanket. All the grass, the trees, the flowers, all covered by this blanket. it's as if every other color but white doesn't exist anymore.

For many this cold weather would be unbearable. When it gets really late at night, the temperature can drop to the signal digits. So cold that you can feel your own nose drippings start to ice over if you stay out too long. Any water would surely be frozen, and anyone who was cautious about their health wouldn't be out in this kind of weather close to twelve in the morning.

Gon Freeces, the only human being walking the streets of Luna Valley at this time of night, takes the cold in stride. The twenty two year old hums to himself, a large book bag bouncing on his back as he takes in all the snow with this twinkle in his eye. His cheeks are flushed, and his hands are starting to feel numb despite them being in his jacket. He can't feel his nose and the tips of his ears are so red. Every breath he makes is made visual, puffing out like a cloud before disappearing into the air.

He keeps trekking on, the only light he has is from the lamp post that illuminate his way. The only sound is from the snow and ice crunching under his feet as he walks. it's a peaceful night. A beautiful night. Gon can see the stars in the sky, and as he looks up, it looks like the stars are falling down on him in the form of snowflakes.

Gon sticks out his tongue, shivering when the snowflake lands on the appendage. Not from the cold. He's not shivering from the cold. No. The snow flakes remind him of a different time. When he wasn't walking alone, years ago when he was still considered a child. He can't taste the frozen water anymore without being reminded of those days.

And that's why he still sticks out his tongue. That's why he still adores the snow and he will continue to adore the snow, in till the day he dies.

"Oh Mito..." Gon smiles to himself, puffs of his frozen breath coming out between his dry lips. The snow flakes cling to his black spiky hair and get caught in his eyelashes, even when he blinks they don't fall off. They just linger. "Another long day at school. The tutoring is helping I think. Leorio is very nice but I always come back tired and with a headache."

The young man keeps walking, his words lingering in the air much like the snowflakes on his clothes, his words, nor the snowflakes being addressed by anyone. Gon's smile doesn't fall, enough though his lips are cracked and it's painful in this cold weather. He has bags under his eyes, but those amber orbs are filled with a fire that one could almost believe could melt the surrounding ice.

"The snow reminds me of you Mito. When it snows like this...sometimes I forget I'm going home and you're not going to be there." Gon closes his eyes, letting the snow cover him, trying to bury him like the rest of the world under its blanket. Gon's eyebrows furrow, the first painful expression turning his features. if any tears would be expelled, Gon is sure they would be frozen. Gon won't shed a tear while it's snowing. Mito loved the snow. Gon loves the snow. He loves the chill. He loves it all.

The quiet is broken by a high pitched wail. Gon's eyes snap open, all his thoughts being disrupted by the shrieking of pure panic and anger coming from the alleyway he just passed. Gon's eyebrows furrow and he turns around, heading into the alleyway. The shrieking is certainly from an animal, and by the sound of it, a cat. His first thought is a cat being attacked by a dog. it happens sometimes and most the time the dogs don't kill the cats. They leave them to suffer.

Gon looks around, following the wails and the deep 'meowwww's that sounds almost like growls. The snow is tainted with red, the more he walks into the alley, the more red there is and the louder the sounds are.

Gon stops, his eyes widening when he spots the animal. As he thought, it's a cat, a cat with fur as white as snow. if not for the cat's striking blue eyes, and the red staining the pure white, Gon may have not been able to see the animal in the blanket of white. The cat is wailing and growling in anger as it scratches viciously at the back of his neck with his back paw, the cat is scratching so hard that he's causing himself to bleed with his nails. His front paw has been ripped open in front, Gon being able to see the muscle shift with every movement of the cat.

Gon is moved by seeing the cat in the freezing cold and wounded. The blood in the front paw is starting to get frozen and the scratching the cat is doing to the back of its neck is slowing down. He's getting tired.

"Hey Kitty, it's cold out here isn't it?" Gon walks closer to the cat. The cat stops in his scratching, those piercing blue eyes locking on him. Gon lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding. This cat is beautiful. Surely he must belong to someone? Did a dog attack his paw?

The cat hisses at him when he gets closer, his back lifting up in warning, his white tail getting puffy, this pupils blown out. Gon holds his hands out, a frown turning his lips.

"I just want to help you. You're bleeding. I can take care of that for you and I can take you somewhere warm." Gon offers, walking closer. Gon has always had the habit of talking to all animals like they could understand him. He believes they can. Gon has always been good with animals. He can't leave one like this one without helping him.

The cat just hisses again but it's weaker this time, backing away from Gon as he comes closer. The cat's eyes have dulled and Gon knows the poor thing is hurting and freezing. "Here." Gon takes off his book bag before unzipping his jacket. The cat watches him warily when Gon moves closer. When he gets too close, the cat lashes out, cutting him on his hand. Gon winces from the pain to his frozen flesh but his eyebrows furrow with determination as he wraps his jacket around the cat, not caring as it gets stained with the cat's blood.

"Meow!" The cat protests, struggling as Gon wraps up the cat in a cocoon before lifting him up, hugging him close to his chest like a baby. The cat hisses at him, bares his teeth, and tries with the rest of his strength to get out of the jacket and scratch him.

"Shh, it's okay. It's okay. I'm not going to hurt you. I'm going to take care of your wounds and get you somewhere warm. You'll die if you stay out here." Gon speaks to the cat calmly as he grabs his book back, putting it on his back before he walks out of the alleyway, walking a bit faster than before to get home with the new bundle in his hands.

The cats meows and growls slowly die down, those blue eyes never looking away from Gon. The warmth must be luring the cat to sleep, he can barely keep his eyes open and he keeps yawning.

"You must be tired, huh? What happened to you? Did you get attacked?" Gon frowns at the cat. The cat's ears perk up, those eyes open up fully again. Those eyes glare at him before the cat looks to the side, away from him. "Don't want to talk about it, huh?" Gon chuckles. The cat in his hands bristles and a low meow leaves him but that's it. He's stopped struggling.

Gon keeps the cat close to him but he can feel his arms go numb from not having any protection. He should have worn a long sleeve shirt. His whole body is shaking now and he can feel his heat leave him. The cat glances back at him, watching him closely as he snuggles him close, the cat being his only source of heat as of right now.

By the time Gon makes it up to his apartment floor, his whole body feels numb and once he walks into his apartment, he feels the heat of his home and closes the door behind him. He feels the pain of his body starting to defrost.

"The only thing I don't like about the cold is the defrosting part." Gon sighs, wincing from the pain in his arms as he walks the cat over to the furnace in his home, the warmth causing him more pain but he knows it's needed. He needs to get the circulation flowing again.

Gon places the cat down, loosening up the jacket so he can get out if he wants to. The white cat is still looking at him with those striking blue eyes. He's watching him like he's staring at a new being, with curiosity and a bit of suspicion.

"Stay here and warm up by the fire. I'm going to get some things to help take care of your wounds." Gon smiles at the cat before he walks over into the kitchen, those blue eyes following him the whole time. Gon walks into his bathroom and grabs his first aid kit, the one he received from Leorio as a gift. it has everything he would ever need. He almost feels like he could perform surgery and be okay with the stuff in this kit. it's certainly a kit for doctors.

"How is the fire feeling? You feeling warm?" Gon comes back out into the living room, smiling when he sees that the cat has stayed in place. The cat was looking around his apartment only to turn and look at Gon. The cat's eyes narrow before it looks back at the furnace. When Gon walks closer, the cat hisses at him, lashing out with a claw in warning. "I'm just going to clean your wounds and bandage you up. I don't want you getting infected. That looks like a bad gash there." Gon frowns. The cat blinks and looks down at his wound, staring at it for a moment before looking back at Gon.

"Meow." The cat gets out of his jacket and walks closer to Gon, the poor thing limping slightly on his hurt leg. He turns his back to Gon and sits down, meowing louder. When he does this, Gon can get a good look at the wound on the back of his neck.

"Oh wow...you really scratched deep." Gon gets closer, peering at the wound that reaches the layer of fat. He blinks when he sees something inside of it. it looks like a disk, stuck in the fat. "You have something inside the wound-"

The cat meows, nodding his head, his tail flicking in annoyance. "I'm going to get it out, okay? And then I'll clean it and bandage you up." Gon is amazed when the cat nods again, his shoulders relaxing. "That's why you were scratching so much. You wanted to get this out." Gon opens up his kit, looking for his tweezers.

He finds them and cleans them with an alcoholic prep. "It must have been bothering you a lot." Gon peers closer, his tongue sticking out in concentration as he digs in with the tweezers. it takes him a couple of tries to latch onto the disk before he pulls. The disk comes out easily since the cat had sliced at it so much. Gon looks at the small disk, his eyebrows furrowed before he places it down next to him. "What was that doing inside you?"

The cat growls, flicking his tail, the white appendage hitting his arm, like he's telling him to get on with it. Gon opens up a packet of saline, flushing the wound on the back of the neck, watching it till it turns clear. He puts some antibiotic cream on the gash before covering it up with a bandage. "There, now let me just get your paw."

Gon is stunned when the cat turns around to face him, his ears are pressed against his head, and those blue eyes are watching him cautiously. "You're really smart. Such a good kitty." Gon beams. The cat bristles, hissing at him, but he doesn't lash out with the claw. Gon chuckles as he holds out his hand. The cat hesitates before he puts the hurt paw in his hand. The cat watches him carefully as he gets some more saline packets and flushes the wound. He puts some antibiotic cream before wrapping the paw up.

"There you go. All done." The cat looks down at the bandage before licking it. The cat stares at him with those blue eyes boring into him. Gon smiles, overwhelmed by the cuteness. He's never seen a cat that's as adorable as this one is. Gon has always been more of a dog person, if he had the money he would have a dog as a companion. But this cat makes him think differently.

"You're such a pretty kitty. Your blue eyes are amazing and your fur is like the snow. I love the snow." Gon reaches out to pet the cat. His ears go back, his hair bristling, growling as he snaps forward suddenly biting Gon's finger hard. "Ow!" Gon frowns, pulling his finger away. The tip of it is bleeding from the cat's teeth piercing his flesh. "What was that for? I just wanted to pet you." Gon glares at the cat who blows out of his nose. Those ears are staying back and Gon is sure if he tried to pet him again, he would bite him once more. "Aw, don't look at me like I'm a bad guy." Gon frowns when the cat keeps watching him with suspicion, a low growl like meow coming out.

Gon sighs and stands up, grabbing his kit before walking over to his kitchen. He doesn't have any cat food but he's heard that cats like milk. He pours some milk into a bowl before sticking it in the microwave. Once the milk is heated he walks back to the cat who is staring at him with his ears perked, his eyes narrowed.

"Here's some milk. I'm sure you're hungry." Gon smiles as he places the milk in front of the cat. The cat looks at it before looking away from it, puffing out his chest. "What's wrong? You don't like milk? I thought all cats like milk." Gon blinks when the cat glares at him. "I don't have any cat food..." Gon smiles at this cat, the animal tilting his head. " Tomorrow, I'll go shopping and get you some food. Do you have an owner? is there someone who is going to be looking for you, worrying about you?"

The cat stares at him a moment, something in those blue eyes before the cat shakes his head.

"No way! You can't be a stray. You're so smart and pretty." Gon frowns, the cat hisses at him and looks away, glaring at the milk. Gon smiles. "if you don't have anywhere to go, you can stay here if you want." The cat hisses again, his fur bristling. Gon chuckles. "You don't like that idea? I guess it must be exciting traveling outside and being free." Gon smiles. "I suppose I thought it would be nice to have someone living with me here. it gets lonely, especially on cold days like this."

The cat doesn't look at him.

"Well, I'm going to keep you here until you're healed. Then I'll let you go." The cat looks at him, hissing and lashing out towards Gon but he stands up. "Don't be mad! I don't want you getting more hurt. Don't worry, I'll keep you well fed and it's not permanent. I won't keep you here forever." Gon reassures. The cat is still looking at him with those blown out pupils, like he's about to attack his feet at any moment. "Do you have a name?"

Those eyes lock with his. They stare at each other for a moment before the cat nods. "Really? I wish you could tell me what it was...maybe I could guess! With your fur...is your name Snow Flake?" The cat shakes his head quickly, hissing at him. "Snow Ball?" The cat's tail flicks. That's not it. "Winter? Snow Angel? Blizzard?"

"Meow!" The cat meows in irritation, his tail flicking before he turns his back to Gon, curling up in a ball to lay down on the floor. His chest his puffing up and down.

"None of those, huh?" Gon chuckles. This cat can get angry easily. "I'll get you some newspapers if you have to go to the bathroom. I'll get you somethings tomorrow so you can stay here better." The cat's ears twitch but he doesn't turn around to face him. "You can sleep on the couch if you like and you're welcome to sleep with me on my bed. I'll keep the door open for you." The cat's ears perk up. "Tomorrow, I'll give you a bath to get rid of the dried blood on your fur-" The cat's ears flatten and he hisses.

"I know, but I need to keep you clean." Gon walks over to his door and picks up the morning newspaper left for him by the people who own this place. He leaves the newspapers laying next to the cat, right next to the milk he hasn't touched. The cat's tail flicks, banging against the floor in irritation. "it's late. I'm going to go to sleep. Good night." Gon reaches out and quickly strokes the cat. His eyes widen when the cat turns on him quickly, those pupils blown out and his tail puffy. Gon gets scratched on his arm before he runs into his room, the cat running after him till he jumps on his bed. Gon turns around, blinking when the cat stares at him for a moment, a dark look to those eyes before the cat walks away slowly.

Gon frowns. The cat isn't that nice. Then again, it seems this cat is a stray. He's probably mad that Gon is making him stay but he couldn't let the cat out when he's injured.

Gon takes off his shirt and pants so he's just in his boxers, curling up into his blanket after he's taken care of the bite wound and put away his kit. He closes his eyes, letting the warmth take him. Tomorrow, he has to work but he'll have plenty of time to get some things for the cat. He can't wait to tell Kurapika and Leorio about this. They're probably going to scold him for having an unknown animal in his home when he can barely buy food for himself but it's only temporary. Even if it wasn't, Gon would just have to work more shifts to have enough money to have a pet.

Having the cat here, having to take care of the cat, reminded him of why he's working so hard. He's missed having someone to come home to. He's missed having someone to take care of and to pamper. Mito was the one who pampered him but still. He wants to pamper someone. Having a pet might be just what he needs.

After working and studying all day, he wouldn't have to worry about coming home to silence and an empty home. There would be someone waiting for him once again.

With that thought in mind, Gon curls into himself and falls asleep. Sleep comes much easier to him than it normally does, the boy drifting off, not aware of the slanted blue eyes that are watching him from the open doorway.

* * *

Gon awakes with a start, his breathing ragged. Water falls from the corner of his eye, staining his mattress before he sits up, taking deep breaths to calm down. _Always..._

Gon gets out of bed, walking blindly into his bathroom, his brain still fuzzy and his muscles stiff like he's slept wrong. The floor is freezing and it makes Gon want to jump back in bed and wrap up in the cozy blankets but he doesn't want to fall asleep again. Gon hums to himself as he gets into the shower, loving the warm water that pours down on him, making him feel better. it's his routine. When it gets cold like this, he can't help to have that dream. He can't help to think about what he lost. The drop in temperature will forever be a reminder for him. The snow and cold is like a phantom haunting him, it's the only thing he has now of her, the only thing he has to come home to-

Gon blinks when he catches sight of the scratches on his hands and the bandage wrapping his fingers. His groggy mind stares at this in confusion before those amber eyes light up and his chest feels light. The cat! He has a cat! Gon needs to get him food!

Gon hurries up and washes himself off, a kick to his step thinking about the cute kitty he has in his living room. He runs out of the shower, a towel tied around his waist loosely, almost slipping from him not drying off properly. Gon runs into his living room, his eyes hopeful and light like a child running to the tree on Christmas.

Gon frowns slightly when he doesn't see the cat wrapped up in his jacket like he had left him last night but it comes right back when he sees that the cat had drank all the milk he gave him. "Kitty, where did you go?" Gon walks into the middle of the room, looking around, his hands on his hips, water dripping off of his back and onto his floor.

Gon's eyes light up when he spots the white cat hiding underneath one of his kitchen chairs, his ears back, those blue eyes watching him cautiously. "There you are!" Gon beams as he walks into the kitchen, the cat backs up more under the table, those pupils getting bigger like at any moment he's going to run up and attack Gon. Gon finds it adorable. "How did you sleep? What do you want to eat this morning?" Gon crouches down, smiling at the cat who narrows his eyes at him. "I still don't have cat food. I'm going to get some after work. I can get you some more milk for now."

The cat's tail flicks and Gon can't help to think the cat is annoyed. He chuckles. "Milk is good for you! I'll be drinking some milk with you." Gon hums as he stands up and walks to his fridge. The cat crawls under the table towards him, those blue eyes watching. Gon pours the cat a bowl of milk before he pours some milk into a bowl of Fruit Puffs cereal. He hums to himself as he places the milk in front of the cat before taking his seat at the table, starting to eat his own food.

The cat stares at the milk for the longest time before he slowly creeps out. He sniffs the milk cautiously before sticking his tongue out, licking up some of the milk. The cat's ears perk up and he starts to drink more readily. Gon eats his cereal, smiling as he watches the small animal.

The cat tenses, looking over at Gon, the ears flatten before he moves away from the milk, his tail flicking. "I won't stare at you if that bothers you when you're eating." Gon chuckles, before he drinks the rest of the milk that is left after he's finished his cereal. He throws his bowl in the sink, knowing he'll have a pile by the end of the day he's going to have to clean.

Gon walks over to look at the living room, already taking in the damage the little cat has caused. The cat hasn't gone to the bathroom yet, the newspapers have been ripped up and are everywhere. His couch has some fabric sticking out from the cat most likely using it to sharpen his claws. The cat has also knocked down one of his vases, the glass shattered on the ground, the flowers laying in the puddle of water.

Gon cleans this up without a word, soaking the water up with a towel, before getting a broom to sweep up the pieces of glass. He picks up the newspaper and throws it away. He places a towel down instead, looking over at the cat who is staring at him. Those blue eyes seem to be gleeful but when the cat looks at his face, for some reason that look seems to die down and his ears go back. "Use this towel to go to the bathroom. When I come back I'll have food, a place for you to go to the bathroom properly, and other things that you'll need."

The cat just stares at him before it suddenly runs from the kitchen and jumps on the couch. The cat starts to dig his claws into the couch, pawing at the soft fabric. "Could you not do that? I'll get you a scratching post if you want one!" When the cat keeps doing it, locking those blue eyes with his while he does it, Gon frowns.

"Hey-" Gon takes a step forward, reaching out towards the cat only for the animal to hiss at him, those ears going down. Gon raises his hands in surrender. "Why are you so angry? I thought cats were suppose to like pets and loving." The cat breathes out of his nose, his tail flicking. "Oh well." Gon smiles. "When I come back I'll change your bandages and I'll give you a bath to get you cleaned off-"

The cat hisses, his fur bristling.

"You don't want to have blood crusted in your fur forever do you?" The cat looks away, glaring at the wall, his tail flicking. "It won't be so bad!" Gon reassures before he walks into his room. He gets dressed into his work uniform noticing the cat has followed him. He's keeping his distance but he's watching him closely. It's like every moment the cat is taking account of.

Gon grabs his keys walking towards the door. He stops and looks back at the cat who is sitting in the middle of the living room, his ears perked up, a questioning look in those eyes. That's at least how Gon sees it.

"Don't worry. I'll be back. I have to go to work and then I'm going to go shopping. I'll be back around 8 tonight." Gon smiles staring at this little cat that just stares at him with those beautiful eyes. "Aww man! I don't want to leave." Gon whines, reaching to pet the cat only for the cat to turn and back away from him.

"You're so cute." Gon whines again, getting the cat to hiss at him. "Why do you get so angry when I call you cute? it's a compliment!" Gon smiles, the cat's ears staying flatten. "I wish I knew your name. I'd like to address you. When I remembered you were here, I got so happy." Gon smiles at the cat who looks at him with this puzzled look. "I'm going to take care of you while you're here. You have nothing to worry about. You can count on me!" Gon beams, those eyes sparkling, the cat backing away to hide behind the couch. Gon giggles. "Bye beautiful, I'll be back!"

The cat pokes his head out just to hiss at him. Gon chuckles walking out of his apartment, making sure to lock the door behind him. The smile hasn't left his lips as he walks down the steps, the ground covered in snow and every time he takes a step his foot print is left. The cold doesn't bother him today and when he walks, all he can think about is the cat he has at home and all the things he wants to get the kitty. It's exciting. Something new.

"Mito...I have the cutest cat at home now." Gon snuggles up against the scarf around his neck, the one she had made him so long ago. He can't wait for work to be over and he can go back home.

He'd never thought he'd be excited to go back home again.

* * *

"Gon, you look happier than usual." Gon looks over at the stunning blonde that just walked next to him with a tray filled with empty classes and plates.

"I do? You look happy today yourself, Kurapika." Gon smiles as he fills a couple of glasses up with soda, the drinks fizzing with a tasty sound. Kurapika is putting his tray down for the dish washer to take care of, wiping some sweat off his brow. The blonde's long hair gets in his face and he has to tuck it behind his ear, those gray eyes finally locking with his.

"Yes you do. You look cheery most of the time but today you have a glow to you. I think the customers have noticed too. You're cracking more jokes." Kurapika chuckles, those gray eyes looking at him fondly. "If I seem more happy today it's because of you. Your smile is contagious." Kurapika grabs a basket of bread for him and places it on the tray of drinks he's making up for table 4.

"I wish. It would help me with some of our tougher customers." Gon chuckles, his chest getting light, the excitement building before he can't stand it. "But I am really happy today. I got a cat at home!"

"A cat?" Kurapika blinks, raising his eyebrow. "You went out and bought a cat?" Kurapika's lips start to turn in a frown.

"No. I found him last night. I think he's a stray. He was injured so I bandaged him up and he's just the cutest cat ever! I don't think he likes me much though." Gon sighs.

"That explains your hands. I was going to ask about that next." Kurapika glances at Gon's hands before looking up at the other male who is smiling too largely. Kurapika sighs. "Gon I know you love animals but weren't you just telling me last week that you were having trouble keeping up with your rent? Animals are expensive. You don't know if this cat has gotten his shots either and a trip to the vet is out of the question if you can't afford to take yourself to the doctor, Gon."

"I'm not going to keep him! Just till his wounds heal up and I can find a nice place to set him loose. And it's not that expensive! I'm just going to buy some cheap food for now!"Gon waves his hands when Kurapika gives him this look. "I'm keeping up with my rent! I won't get evicted!...probably."

"Gon." Kurapika puts his hands on his hips, giving him this look at that reminds him of Mito when he would do something stupid.

"It's just one kitty! It'll be fine Kurapika! I'll pick up some extra shifts if I have to." Gon smiles sheepishly when Kurapika doesn't seem convinced.

"You barely have the time now with going to medical school and spending the rest of your time working here." Kurapika sighs when he sees the look on Gon's face. "That cat must really be something. If you get behind on your rent, I could try to get together some money-"

"I don't need any money Kurapika! I'll be fine!" Gon reassures. "I won't go overboard with the cat! Could you not tell Leorio though? I feel like he would freak out if I told him I got a cat." Gon sticks his tongue out.

Kurapika stares at him a moment before shaking his head, that fond smile coming back. " Yes, I won't tell your father." Kurapika and Gon chuckle. "Leorio would freak out. I swear you're going to give him a full head of gray hair before he's 30 with how much he worries about you."

"Probably." Gon giggles as he grabs the tray full of drinks. "That's why he has mommy to help get rid of that stress right?" Kurapika flushes, waving Gon off.

"Get out of here before the people at table 4 give you the stink eye."

"Got it!" Gon beams as he walks out of the back, balancing the tray, walking to table four. He gives them a friendly smile. "Sorry for the wait! Here are the drinks you ordered." Gon places the four sodas down, proud when everyone agrees that these are the drinks they ordered. "Are you guys ready to order your food? The steak here is really good! And if you like seafood there's our number 6!"

Soon after the ball of light came with their drinks, the slight irritation the people had for waiting is gone, those amber eyes calming.

Gon is having a easy night tonight and soon he'll be back home.

* * *

"I'm home, kitty!" Gon calls as he walks into his apartment with a couple of bags, his breath coming out in puffs, his cheeks flushed and numb. He winces when he starts to defrost but it doesn't destroy his smile as he closes the door behind him. He looks around the living room, not spotting the kitty anywhere. "Kitty, I got you food and I got you a little something!" Gon bounces the bag he's holding, making a rattle sound.

No response.

"Are you going to make me find you?" Gon smiles, walking over to the kitchen, glancing under the table but the cat isn't there. He places his bags on the kitchen table before he walks into the living room, crossing his arms as he looks around. The towel he placed down hasn't been touched and the couch doesn't look that bad off. The milk he gave the cat is completely gone.

Gon's stomach growls and his knees hurt from standing all day. All his work is finally catching up to him and he yawns walking over to the kitchen. He gets out the food dish he bought for the cat, smiling when he reads what it says: 'too cute for my own good.'. It's a good thing that cats can't read or the cat would probably get angry. Gon pours some cat food into the bowl, making sure he's being loud with it. "Dinner!" Gon calls as he places the bowl down before getting another bowl to fill with water, placing it down.

Gon opens his fridge, wanting to dig into those left over ribs from last night- Gon stiffens, his mouth opening wide. All his food is gone. The water bottles, the ribs, even that piece of chocolate cake Kurapika had given him the other day, all gone. His fridge looks bare. All the milk is gone too! Gon frowns...he had milk this morning and he had food right? He didn't eat all his food without remembering, did he? No. He would remember eating all his food, but what happened to it? His door was locked when he came in and he's the only one with the key. It doesn't look like anyone has broke in either. The cat was the only one here but the idea of the cat eating all his food is ridiculous.

Gon scratches his head, his gears working, he can feel the steam coming on. Did he misplace his food some how? Where would he put it? Gon starts to open all the cabinets in his kitchen, frowning when he sees he still has his cereal but none of his other food.

"Oi! Stop slamming stuff. I was sleeping." Gon jumps a foot off the ground when he hears a deep, silky voice behind him. He whips around, his eyes wide, his fist out ready to fight. A intruder- Gon stops. His breathing gets caught in his throat and now he's wondering if this is some really weird dream he's having.

A man has just walked out of his bedroom. There's a couple of things wrong with this man, things that Gon can't help to notice as soon as he looks at him. First off, the man is wearing his clothes. He's wearing his long sleeve white shirt with his jeans. They're a little baggy on him but for the most part they fit. Second off he's drinking from the carton of milk that Gon had thought went missing. And third, the most important detail, is the fact that this man has ears sticking out of his head and a white tail wiggling around behind him like it has a mind of its own.

Gon gapes at him like a fish out of water. "You have ears and tail! Wow! Are those real?!" Gon completely dismisses the fact this man is in his home and is wearing his clothes and is probably the reason he has no food right now.

"Of course they're real, stupid." the man huffs, his tail flicking behind him before he takes a chug of milk.

"That's amazing! Can I touch them?" Gon gets closer. The man hisses at him, backing up quickly, his pupils getting larger. Gon freezes.

"Hell no. I didn't want you touching them before, what makes you think I want you touching them now."

"Touching them before?" Gon blinks, not really getting it. This is the first time he's seen this man right? But there's something familiar about how this man is acting...and those striking blue eyes and pale skin. Gon gasps. "Are you by chance the cat?"

"Who else would I be?" The man-er cat- or whatever he is grunts. He rolls his eyes when Gon's eyes sparkle in wonder.

"B-But how?! You were a cat when I left! How did you turn into a human? That's so cool! This is amazing." Gon has forgotten about his hunger completely. He walks closer to this guy only for the man to hiss, baring his teeth. Gon stops, but his eyes haven't stop sparkling.

"Maybe I don't even exist and you're just crazy." The man smirks when Gon blinks, seeming to try to wrap his mind around that. "I mean come on, a cat turning into a person? That doesn't happen." He chuckles.

"I don't think this is in my head. You're real. I know you are and you were a cat and now you're a person." Gon keeps his eyes locked onto this man's piercing blue eyes. The amusement has left his face and now he's just staring at him. "How did you do that?" Gon smiles, moving closer. The man backs up.

"I ate magic beans." The man stares at him blankly.

"Magic beans?" When the man drinks some more of his milk, Gon's eyebrows furrow. "I don't think you're telling the truth." The man looks at him from the corner of his eye before he grins.

"You believe I'm a cat turned human but you don't believe in magic beans?" The man chuckles before smirking at him. "If you must know, I'm a run away test subject. They've been doing tests on me since I was a kitten and they succeeded in creating a cat like boy. I'm a product of science and I've been trained to kill since day one, mixing human traits with a cat's perfectly."

"So you're a cat mixed with human? And you can change between being a cat and a human?" Gon stares at this man with wide eyes, his heart beating faster. "That's why you had that chip in you! How did they make you like this? Did it hurt?"

The man blinks at him before chuckling. "You really believed that? Such an honest response."

"It's true though, isn't it? I don't feel like you were lying that time." Gon takes a step closer, the man takes a step back. He stares at Gon a moment before shrugging his shoulders.

"it doesn't really matter what you know. No one around here would believe that you have a cat like man here. They would think you're crazy." The man grunts as he walks over to his couch and sits down on it, laying so he's taking up the whole couch, those blue eyes watching him carefully. "So yeah. That chip you got out of me was their way of keeping me in my cat form. They would hate for their crazy experiments to get out in the open. They've been doing some naughty things." The man smirks. "Many unspeakable things. Now that you've gotten that thing out I can do as a please. It took a couple of hours for the effects to wear off of me, but here I am. There's nothing stopping me now." Those blue eyes get darker when they look over at Gon who has gotten closer, gawking at this man, his eyes haven't stopped shining.

"That's amazing! You're incredible!" Gon cheers, the man glaring at him. "It all makes sense! You were out in the cold trying to get away from those scientist people and you were trying to get the chip out of your neck by scratching it out! That's why you're so smart too!" Gon suddenly stops smiling, a frown coming to his lips. The man's ears twitch at the change, those blue eye staring at him, watching him, just like he did when he was a cat. "Were those scientists hurting you?"

"What do you think?" The man's grin is dark. "They morphed my DNA, mixing me with you nasty humans. The pain felt like being boiled alive only to be frozen back into one piece but all wrong. It didn't stop there. No. So many tests they did on me. Every day was a new experiment. They've choked me half to death just to see how long I could hold my breath under water. That's just an example. The humans would have their way with me, drugging me so I couldn't fight back. By the time I got used to the drugs, it became a part of my purpose. To kill and to please. That place could drive anyone mad." the man's eyes become dark, he bristles, his tail getting puffy and straight out. His nails are digging into the couch and he grinds his teeth.

"You don't have to worry about that anymore." Gon swallows thickly, something burning in his chest when the man looks at him with his eyebrow raised. "You're safe here. You got away and I'm not going to let them take you again. To force you to do things you don't want to do, hurting you...I won't forgive that."

"Why the hell do you care?" The man hisses, those ears going back. "Why did you pick me up anyway? I was just a cat off the street. Most humans would think I was crazed with the way I was acting."

"I couldn't leave you there! You were freezing and hurt. I don't know what it was but when I saw your blue eyes...I was drawn in. I wanted to help you." Gon smiles when the man's ears slowly start to perk up. "Since I'm gong to be a doctor, it's natural I'm drawn in by someone in need!"

"I wasn't a person. I was a cat. And you? A doctor?" The man blinks before shaking his head. "You're stupider than you look. There's no way you're going to be a doctor-"

"Hey! I'm not that stupid." Gon pouts, feeling a bit hurt by the man's words.

"Yes you are. Bringing a stray cat into your home that could very well have rabies. I bit you and scratched you. You should have thrown me out then."

"It was my fault for trying to pet you." Gon watches as this man's eyes widen slightly. "You didn't like it and I kept trying. You just looked so cute." Gon smiles remembering the small little kitty.

"Don't call me cute." The man hisses, his pale cheeks getting flushed and his ears flattening on his head. Even as a man, he's adorable. Gon finds himself gushing. This only seems to annoy the man further. "Keep at it and I'll slice up your face."

"But really, I couldn't kick you out. Not when you're hurt and it's so cold outside."

The man glances at him from the corner of his eye before sighing. "Well, now you know I'm not a little kitten that can't take care of himself. I'm going to be leaving after I've finished this milk-"

"But you're still hurt and what if those scientist come after you?" Gon frowns.

"So what do you suggest?" The man raises his eyebrow. "That I stay here with you and be your house cat?"

"Well...maybe." Gon smiles sheepishly when the man glares. "I want you to stay so you'll be safe and...I like having you here. I've never been so excited to come home like I was today!"

The man's ears perk up again, his tail moving restlessly behind him. "You're really weird. Why get all excited for a cat that doesn't want anything to do with you?" The man shakes his head before drinking what's left of the milk. "You must be a sad human that has no companions."

"Well, I do have friends." Gon rubs the back of his head. "It's just...nice coming home to someone."

The man stares at him for a moment. "You know if I stay here, and the government finds out you're holding me, they'll kill you. They might do experiments on you as well. You'll lose your sanity before they get rid of you."

"The government won't find out and even if they do, I don't care. I'll keep you a secret and I'll take good care of you! I won't let them hurt you anymore. I'd really like for you to stay till your wounds heal. After that...you can leave if you want. I don't want you to feel like you don't have a choice. I just want to know I've done all that I could for you."

The man watches Gon closely before stretching. "Well, I guess I'll stay till I heal. It won't take that long and really these wounds aren't a big deal. If I'm staying ,you better be buying me good food. I want chocolate. A lot of chocolate. I'm also going to be sleeping in your bed. You can sleep on the couch. No touching me either, or I will scratch you. I'll humor you, human, since you helped me out back there, but I will not be staying for long."

"Yay!" Gon beams, getting the man to blink at him. "You're staying! Even if it's just for a little bit...I'm happy." the man's ears flatten and he glares away. "So you don't eat cat food?"

"No. I will not eat that garbage."

"Okay. Then I need to go to the store again." Gon sighs when his stomach grumbles. "Did you really have to eat everything in the fridge?"

"I was hungry." The man glares. "Not like you had a lot in there anyway."

"Yeah..." Gon frowns before he smiles once more. "So the cat food is a waste...Do you use a litter box?"

"Who do you think I am? No I don't use the litter box! I'm toilet trained, thank you very much. I did not appreciate the newspapers."

"I thought you were a regular cat! How could I know you were a person like cat?!"

The man just huffs in response to that.

"Hmm, I guess I bought that stuff for no reason. I'm sure I can take it back." Gon thinks to himself as he gets up walking over to the bags of stuff he got. He digs through it only to stop when he spots the little stuffed mouse he had bought at the store. It was supposed to be the cat's play thing but Gon's not sure if he will like it. "Do you like cat toys?" Gon throws the mouse.

"No I-" The man stops, his pupils getting blown out when the mouse hits the ground, making a jingling sound. The man jumps across the room, biting the mouse, sinking his teeth in as he rolls around the ground, his tail flicking.

Gon stares with wide eyes at seeing this before he giggles. Not expecting that reaction but loving it. It was too cute.

"Shut up!" The man hisses at him, his tail puff up, his face getting red and he spits out the mouse like he just realized what he did. "It was moving so...I just thought I needed to kill it. I wasn't playing with it."

"Sure you weren't." Gon chuckles when the man glares at him. He made a mental note that the man still likes cat toys. He's sure that Gon can still pamper him yet.

"Keep laughing and I'll rip up your couch the next time you leave." The man warns standing up, straightening himself out, his tail flicking behind him.

"Leave the couch alone. Now I know you know better." Gon gives him this look when the man smirks. Gon blinks when he takes in his clothes on this man once more before locking eyes with him. "Do you need some clothes of your own? Or do you want to wear my clothes? I'm fine with sharing."

"I'll wear these." The man hugs himself. "These are mine now."

"I guess that's okay." Gon doesn't really wear those too often anyway. if he's not at school or work he's outside or bumming it. Gon's eyes light up and he smiles at the man. "I just remembered! Now that you can talk, you can tell me what your name is!"

"Fuck off. I'm not telling you my name." The man hisses at him when he gets too close.

"Well, my name is Gon! Gon Freeces! And, if you're not going to tell me your name, I guess I'm just going to have to keep calling you beautiful-" Gon starts to tease, watching as the man's face gets red, and those ears flatten.

"It's Killua." Killua grinds his teeth, glaring at him. "So don't you dare call me beautiful. Now that I'm like this. You can't get away with that."

"Killua..." Gon tries it on for size, smiling at his new friend. "Was that name given to you by your Mother?"

"Yeah. At the lab I'm known as N67895. Killua was given to me by my Mom and Dad." Killua rolls his eyes. "Can you believe they tried to stop me from leaving the lab? My mom is so annoying. They all wanted me to stay so I could get stronger and be the best for the humans but that's so overrated."

"Are your parents cats or..." Gon trails off.

"They're like me. Test subjects. They were cats and now they're half cat and half human. My whole family is. They were really proud in the fact that they successfully turned 7 of us."

"Wow your whole family." Gon frowns when he thinks of Killua's family still at the lab. "Are you worried about your family-"

"No. Hell no. They like it there. I think they've all lost it. My one brother is too fat to do anything with his life so he'll just do whatever is easier. My youngest brother just wants to please my mom. And my oldest brother enjoys the kills. The killing was fun. Getting stronger was cool but I had no freedom over there. They were controlling and I was sick of having a human male mate with me." Killua grimaces. Gon frowns. He can tell talking about this is upsetting Killua. The man's tail is wiggling restlessly and his ears are flatten, those eyes becoming distant.

"Well, Killua." Gon smiles, the man's ears perking up and looking over at him. "Welcome to your temporary home! I'll do my best to take care of you so let me know if you need anything!" Gon gives him this determined look. "You don't have to worry about any of that stuff that happened in the labs. You're safe here."

Killua stares at him for a while before shrugging his shoulders. " I guess. If you tried anything I would rip your balls off." Killua stands up, yawning. "I'm going to sleep in your bed. Try keeping the fridge filled would you?" Killua huffs as he walks into Gon's bed room. Gon follows him, watching as the man jumps into the bed, curling up in a ball on top of it, much like a cat with his tail close to his face, taking up the whole bed.

"Killua it would be full if you didn't eat all the food in one go." Gon rubs his head. "I don't have much money but I'll think of something."

"You better." Killua grunts. Gon walks into the bathroom, Killua watching him with one eye open. Gon takes off his clothes, staying in his boxers before he walks back out to Killua. The man glares at him when he comes out, his body getting stiff at seeing his lack of clothes.

"Good night Killua! I'll see you in the morning! I have some cereal for us to eat for breakfast but we don't have milk because you drank it all." Gon walks over to Killua, reaching out to stroke the man's hair only for him to bat at his hand, hissing at him in warning. Gon's smile doesn't fall as he waves good bye before heading out of the room and into the living room. He lays on the couch, his brain still humming from everything he just found out.

The cat he found yesterday is actually a half human half cat, who's escaped from a lab that's made him this way. It doesn't sound like it could be real but Gon knows it is. He knows this man is the cat he saved. The way this man acts is just like how the cat acted. It's crazy. It's insane, really, but Gon still wants to keep him around. When Killua was looking upset, all Gon wanted to do was protect him. Gon still wants Killua as a friend. He's going to be sad when Killua leaves him but he'll make the most of it right now.

This feels like a dream. It probably would be easier to think that Killua is something he made up in his head rather than a test subject that's escaped from some government lab. But he believes it. He knows he's real and he doesn't think he's lying about that. What is the government doing? Why would they do test on cats? Gon remembers seeing this thing on the history channel where they would talk about how the government could clone things and they're trying to mix animal DNA with human but they've been failures. Works of science fiction. But maybe that was a lie? Maybe they've been able to do this for a while now.

Gon slightly wonders how the government is going to look for Killua. They probably won't make an announcement that a lab subject has gotten loose. That would cause panic and then they'd have to tell the world what they did. No. Maybe they're just going to look for him? Gon doesn't know what they're going to do to Killua when they find him but he doesn't want to know. He doesn't want Killua to be taken.

There's a lot of questions he has. Like is Killua more human than cat? Or more cat than human? How does his ears and tail feel like? Can he turn back into a cat? Is it okay for him to eat human food? Does he take baths and showers like a human? And, since Killua said that the humans had their way with him and they mated with him...the humans were raping him. No wonder Killua is so uneasy with touch. Gon would never do that to him though. Like Gon said, he has nothing to fear while he's here. As a future doctor, as a friend, as a caretaker, Gon will take care of Killua.

Despite being on the couch, and hungry, Gon falls asleep much easier than most nights. The idea that someone is in the other room helps him. This place doesn't' seem as lonely anymore now that Killua is here and he has someone to come home to. Someone to count on him.

* * *

 **Yes, I know what you're thinking. A new story? But you have so many that you haven't finished already. I know, I know. But this is how I do.**

 **I want to thank my new beta reader Anathemal for helping me with this chapter! With Anathemal's help, hopefully i'll be able to get chapters out easier. Thank you for your support. Till the next time!**


	2. Chapter 2

"Gon, did you pull a back muscle?" Kurapika frowns as he watches Gon  
bend down, picking up one of the napkins he dropped before straightening himself out and grimacing; touching his lower back with his hand in a way to put pressure on the pain.

"Huh?" Gon looks over at Kurapika, as he places the tray down and loads up number three's meals. There are only two at that table, so he can do it by himself. Gon winces when he touches one of the hot plates, quickly putting it on the tray before pulling his hand away. "No, I didn't pull out my back." Gon smiles sheepishly. "I must have slept on it wrong."

"Maybe you need a new mattress? You shouldn't be having back problems at your age. Don't become like Leorio." Kurapika sighs, shaking his head, his blonde locks swaying with him as he fills up a couple of drinks of soda for his table.

"The mattress I have is okay. I just got it last year." Gon fills up a couple of drinks, placing them on the tray next to the food. Gon can't help to chuckle at what Kurapika said. "Don't worry, I'm not aged like him."

"You're getting there. You look bright eyed as always but you always have these bags under your eyes, Gon. Make sure you get plenty of rest tonight. Don't you have an exam tomorrow? Leorio has been talking about it."

"Oh crap! Yeah, I do." Gon gets pale, completely forgetting about school. He's been so focused on Killua, and what he needs to get at the store later for him, that he's forgotten about his duties as as  
student. "Crap, I need to study tonight. Some of those psych drugs I'm iffy about."

"I really do worry about your health, Gon." Kurapika frowns slightly. "Knowing you, you're not going to get much sleep tonight so you can study. I wish we could help you more-"

"Kurapika, I don't need anymore help from you guys. I couldn't ask for more. I'm fine." Gon smiles reassuringly before he picks up his tray of food, balancing it. He grins over at Kurapika who is staring at him with that frown still there. "You have yourself to worry about! Mr. I'm getting married in a couple of months!"

The blonde's face gets flushed, Gon chuckling when his face gets even redder. "Alright, alright you had your fun. Get to work."

"You get to work too." Gon teases before he walks out of the back, humming to himself as he walks to table three, flashing the couple a smile that could melt anyone's cold heart. "Sorry for the wait! I got your number five and number eight right here!" Gon places the two plates down in front of the couple, their eyes lighting up from how good the food looks. Gon can feel his own mouth water, his stomach growling. He wasn't able to eat much today, since Killua ate all his food, but that's okay. He'll go shopping after work. He has some money left over.  
"Does everything look good?" Gon looks between them.

"Yes, everything looks delicious, thank you," the man smiles at him and Gon feels good. He likes this job.

"Let me know if you need anything." Gon smiles before he walks over to his table four, a family of three sitting down, a little one between the mom and dad. "Hello! My name is Gon and I'll be your  
waiter today! Are you guys familiar with our menus?"

"Ah, yes, we've been here before."

"Okay! What would you like to start out for drinks?"Gon gets his pad out, looking to the family eagerly, a patient smile on his face.

"We'll all take a water." The man speaks, the woman looking at him  
before she smiles at Gon.

"Yes, that's fine."

"I want juice!" the little girl complains, smacking the table. For some reason the look of irritation reminds him of a certain someone waiting at home for him. Gon can't help to chuckle, it leaves his  
lips before he can stop it. She's adorable just like Killua is.

"If you laugh at that behavior, you're just encouraging it." The man glares at Gon, getting him to give an apologetic smile. The girl is looking at him now, her eyes lighting up from the attention she's  
gotten.

"Ah, sorry. It's just that I have one like her at home-"

"Oh, you have children." the woman smiles, interested. Gon flushes.  
"No, I have a cat."

The three stare at him for a moment before the woman starts to chuckle, followed by the little girl and even the man cracks a smile.  
"Forgive me. I just wasn't expecting that. You were speaking so fondly I thought you had a child. But I know a lot of people that their pets are like family to them." The woman smiles, her eyes lighting  
up.

"Yeah." Gon smiles, liking that he's gotten the three to lighten up. Going out to eat with your family is supposed to be fun. Before he came it looked like they were tense, like they had just gotten out of an argument. "I'll come back with your waters and bread!"  
Gon walks back to the back, his smile wavering slightly when there's a sting in his back but he ignores it. He slept fine last night, but when he woke up his back was so sore. He's never slept on that couch, but he thought It would be fine. Killua looked like he slept well though. So well that he didn't want to wake up and when Gon tried, he hissed at him and threw pillows at him.

"It's a slow night tonight." Gon looks over at Kurapika who's just walked in again, carrying a tray filled with dirty plates and cups.

"It is a Sunday. We have more people during the morning than during the night." Gon smiles over at his friend as he starts filling up the glasses with water.  
"You have more scratches." Kurapika comments when he looks at Gon's arm, sporting the lash there from Killua getting him this morning when he tried to get him up to clean his wounds. "That cat  
really isn't friendly. Those cuts could easily get infected, Gon."

"I know. I'm washing them properly. Killua just gets upset easily." Gon smiles at Kurapika when he blinks at him.

"Killua?"

"That's his name!"

"That's a strange name for a cat. I've never heard of that name before, where  
did you come up with it?"

"Oh, you know, I'm just creative like that." Gon smiles nervously, realizing that he's never heard of a name like that either.  
Kurapika frowns at him, and Gon starts to squirm, feeling like Kurapika can  
see through his lie-

"You named the cat." Kurapika crosses his arms. "I'm starting to think you were lying about this being a temporary thing."

"What? No." Gon waves him off. "Well...I would like Killua to stay, but I think he's just going to stay with me till his wounds are healed. He doesn't like me much."

"I can tell by all the scratches," Kurapika sighs. "Why must you put more work on yourself, Gon? I think this is the worst time for you to have a cat. Winter is hard on all of us."

"I know, but Killua makes me happy." Gon smiles, looking down at the scratches on his hands. He likes them. They're proof that Killua is real, that he's waiting for him.

"...You do look happier," Kurapika sighs, a small smile on his face. "Just remember to take care of yourself too, Gon. I've been hearing your stomach growl, have you eaten today?"

"Yes, I had some cereal." Gon grabs some bread before putting it on the tray. "Have you eaten today, Kurapika? You look skinnier and skinnier every time I see you."  
"It's your imagination. If I'm losing weight, I blame Leorio and the stress of the wedding."

"You always blame Leorio," Gon chuckles, balancing the tray.

"Most things are his fault," Kurapika chuckles to himself, the two waiters walking out together.

Gon shakes his head, grinning. Despite how much Kurapika and Leorio fight, Gon knows they love each other greatly. Gon has seen them when they're calm and the light shines through as clear as day. The small smiles and the holding of hands speaking volumes.  
Gon knew Kurapika and Leorio separately before they had gotten together. He met Kurapika working here, and he met Leorio in medical school. One day, they all decided to hang out and they clicked. Well, they fought a lot at first but they seem to be brought together by their need to watch over and take care of him.

Gon was surprised when he told him they were dating. It's not like gay couples were anything  
new, he's seen a lot of them growing up, but it was just surprising that his two best friends got together. He didn't feel left out. He was happy for the two, and he still is. It just kind of reminds him how unsuccessful he's been in the romantic department.

He used to date a lot, when he was younger, but those didn't really mean anything. Now, he's just not interested and he doesn't have the time to date. Also, he doesn't have the money to take someone out on  
dates.

It's not like Gon is ugly. He knows that and he's been hit on quite a few times by girls and guys alike. They flatter him but he just doesn't want a relationship, not till he has his degree. Leorio has been  
trying to set him up with people from day one, saying something like 'booty is good for your health.'

Leorio used to party a lot before he settled down with Kurapika. He had a new girl every week, and just watching him gave Gon a headache. Having Kurapika has been really good for Leorio. Gon notices the  
difference in him.

But, still, Leorio is still trying to set him up now. Even Kurapika has been playing along. They worry about him too much, honestly. They really are like a Mom and a Dad.

Gon chuckles at his thoughts as he walks up to table four give them their drinks. The family seems to be talking more now and when he comes up, they already know what they want.

As Gon takes their order, Gon stares at the Mother and Father, how they smile at each other, and the bright child between them. He can't help to think that a lot of his friends from high school have already  
settled down and are having children of their own. He wonders if having a family like this makes them happy? Gon only had Mito and that made him happy. Gon doesn't need someone to date. He doesn't  
need to settle down yet. His only want is to get his degree and to heal people. He doesn't have a family waiting home for him, he doesn't have a family to feed but...  
He has Killua.

Gon has someone to work for, someone to protect, and someone to take care of. In this moment, Killua is all he needs. It's true, what they say, pets can become like family to their owners.

Gon has gotten quickly attached to Killua and he knows that's just going to make it harder when he leaves.

It's never easy when your family leaves you, Gon has learned that; and the cold reminds him of it every day.

* * *

"Killua, I'm home!" Gon walks into his apartment, shutting the door  
quickly, sealing himself in the warmth.

"About time." Gon's eyes brighten when he spots the man laying on his couch; his ears perking up when Gon came in, those blue eyes locking onto the bags of groceries he has. "I'm starving," Killua  
grunts as he sits up; those eyes watching Gon's every moment when he walks into the kitchen and places down the bags.

"I know, I know. Sorry it took so long! You wouldn't believe how packed the store was! It always gets like this when it snows around here. They're worried we might get a blizzard." Gon groans when he  
takes off his gloves; his hands cramping up and not listening to him as they slowly defrost. He blows on them and rubs them, trying to get the circulation flowing once more. "You wouldn't believe how  
many people I had to fight to just get bread!"

"The snow did start picking up." Killua walks over to Gon, watching him with those slanted eyes, taking note of the snow still in his spiky black hair, and his hands that are red. Killua leans on the  
table, his tail flicking behind him, his face blank.

"Oh, was it cold in here for you?" Gon looks over at Killua, frowning. The cat's ears twitch from Gon suddenly looking at him. "I left the heat on for you, but this place can get cold quickly-"

"Nah, it was fine. It's cozy in here." Killua glares at him, crossing his arms. "Hurry up and get me food. You locked the door, so I couldn't get out to hunt for myself." Killua narrows his eyes at Gon.

"It's snowing badly out there, and you're still hurt! Don't worry, I'll provide for you." Gon quickly starts pulling out the items he bought, wanting to feed Killua quickly, ignoring his own rumbling stomach. Killua's ears twitch at the sound. "So, I bought a bunch of different things because I didn't know what you would like. I got salmon, turkey meat, milk, tuna fish, hot dogs, and some chips. The milk is good for drinking and if you would like water you can get it from the sink over there." Gon walks over to the sink, turning it on, Killua watching him do this before those eyes narrow at him, his tail flicking in annoyance.

"Oi, I told you to get me chocolate-"

Gon grins, walking over to the bags and pulls out a bar of chocolate. Killua shuts right up, his pupils getting blown out, his eyes lighting up. It has to be the most adorable thing he's seen-

"That's mine!" Killua growls, biting the chocolate out of his hand before shoving him, Gon losing his balance and falling on the kitchen floor. He blinks when Killua runs away on his legs and arms, running  
behind the couch into the corner. Soon, the paper is ripped and Killua is sinking his teeth into the sweet. "Yess..." Killua purrs, rubbing his head against the back of the couch as he eats, his tail resting next to him.

"Killua, you shouldn't spoil your dinner." Gon smiles, despite saying this, as he stands up. He winces when there's a pain in his lower back but he ignores it, rubbing it absentmindedly. When he saw how  
happy the chocolate made Killua, something tightened inside him. The purring he heard made it all worth it. Gon can't help smiling. He did good.

"Chocolate will never spoil anything." Killua turns on him, his eyes narrowed. The man is licking his fingers, the chocolate already gone, his ears twitching on top of his head. "It's your fault for  
keeping me hungry for so long. Where were you anyway? When I woke up you were gone."

"I told you I had to go to work. I tried to wake you up so we could have breakfast together and I could clean your wound, but you just yelled at me and went back to sleep." Gon points out, Killua standing  
up, crossing his arms as he walks towards him.

"Since I'm free, I wake up when I want to." Killua glares at him. "Did you go to this 'work' yesterday? What do you even do?"

"I'm a waiter at a restaurant called Luna's Finest. It's a small restaurant but it's really homely!" Gon beams, excited that Killua is asking about him. It's been a while since he's been like  
this.

"Restaurant...I've heard of those in one of the stories I had to read back in the lab. They're the places humans go to get food." Killua seems to be thinking before he raises his eyebrow at Gon. "So your job is to go there and...wait? Are you the village idiot or something?"

"No! A waiter takes people's orders and gives them the food they want! I make sure the humans are happy by making sure their drinks are full and that they get the right food that they ordered! Why would you think I'm a village idiot?" Gon frowns at the end, he was hyped up explaining what his job was to Killua so the insult didn't sink in till the end.

"Ah, so that's what you do. You're the servant of the humans who eat there." Killua smirks. "I don't know what it is, but when I look at you I just get the feeling you're not that bright."

"Killua, you're mean." Gon pouts, Killua's smirk falls slightly at seeing the frown. He puts his hands behind his head and closes his eyes, looking away disinterestedly. "I'm not stupid!-"

"Considering your choices these past couple of days, I beg to differ. Keeping a government test subject as a temporary pet isn't something smart people do, Gon." Killua smiles over at him sweetly, something  
cat like about that smile.

"You're not my pet. You're my friend." Gon felt something clench inside him when he said that. Because the way Killua said pet bothered him. That's what Killua thinks this is. Gon is not playing a owner. Killua is...

"Huh?" Killua tilts his head, looking puzzled. "Friend? What are you talking about? You obviously wanted me as a pet-"

"If you were my pet, I wouldn't let you leave." Gon locks eyes with Killua, he stiffens, his tail puffing up. "But, you're not my pet Killua. That's why when you're healed, you can leave. I keep you  
here now, because I don't want you going out in this weather damaged. So please don't look at me like I'm a bad guy. I'm not like those humans at the lab. So...don't look at me like I'm hurting you." Gon puts all the food away, Killua watching him silently.

Gon couldn't help it. The way Killua was looking at him when he was talking about being Gon's pet...it was like Gon was doing him damage. Gon doesn't want that. He just wants to help Killua. He's not trying to control him. He just wants to make sure he's healed.

"Humans are humans." Killua says after a while, glaring darkly at his finger nails that are long and sharp. "You obviously want something. I'm just waiting to hear it. Humans are selfish creatures.  
Call me whatever you want. A pet, a friend- it doesn't matter, they both mean the same. I've had 'friends' at the lab."Friends," is such a special word, I was taught. Friends means you have a close  
bond, that you care about one another. If you go by that definition, we are not friends. You are nothing but a free meal ticket for me at this point." Killua watches Gon turn on the stove from the corner of his eye. Gon opens up a packet of salmon, not looking back at Killua or responding. Killua's tail flicks before he closes his eyes. "I've been tricked by that word friend before. It won't  
work again."

"I'm sure you know more than me, the darkness that can be in human kind...and maybe we all are selfish creatures. But, I'm already getting what I want: and that's helping you, being a friend to you, getting to know you, spending time with you, and talking to you. That's what I want. I want you to get healed so you can be strong and safe, but also I want to have you here if just for a little bit. I like coming home to you. It's exciting, and new and it feels good. So, I'm sorry I'm keeping you here till you get healed. That's just me being selfish." Gon flips the salmon in the pan, the only  
sound between them being the fish frying, the juices sizzling.

"...so just bare with me. You will be healed in no time, and then you can leave." Gon smiles back at Killua. "You said that I want something and I do." Killua seems to relax, like he was waiting for this the whole time, poking his hip out, those eyes narrowed. "I just want to be your friend and get closer to you, if just for this  
little bit of time."

Killua stares at him with wide eyes, those slanted pupils looking at him intently, trying to search his face for something. When he doesn't find it, he flushes; his ears becoming flattened before he glares  
away.

"Who would ever believe something like that? Seriously, as soon as I heal I'm leaving this place. I'm not interested in any friendship with you so you can forget about it. You mind as well kick me out now that you know you're not going to get what you want, right?" Killua ears twitch, waiting for Gon to respond.

"It's enough that you're here." Gon says with a smile when Killua groans. "And, you're not healed yet! I told you: I'd worry about you if you left when you're not healed. I'm going to worry anyway but  
i'll worry even more!"

"You're so weird. Seriously. I've met some pretty weird humans, but you, by far, are the strangest." Killua's tail flicks, those blue eyes glaring off to the side. His ears perk up when Gon hands him a plate  
with the fish. His eyes brighten and he takes it before glancing up at Gon.

"Would you like some water?"

"...Yeah." Killua watches as Gon gets him a cup of water before handing it to him. Killua squints his eyes at him, Gon just smiles.  
"What are you so happy about? I hear your stomach growling, and you're smiling while handing food to me? I thought you were making yourself food."

"I'm just happy! I mean, it's been a while since i've cooked a meal. I used to all the time when Mito was around..." Gon's smile falters slightly. Killua seems to catch this because his tail twitches, those pupils getting slightly bigger as if honing in on the change.

"Who's Mito?" Killua watches as Gon grabs a pack of raman noodles, opening it up and putting it in a pot of water on the stove. "Your mate?"

"Oh,no." Gon chuckles, smiling to himself when Killua moves closer so he can see Gon's face, those eyes staring at him intently. "Mito is my aunt."

"Aunt...your mother's or father's sister..." Killua seems to be recalling something before nodding his head. "Where is she? I haven't seen any other human but you here."

"Mito passed away a couple of years ago." Gon's eyes sink a bit as he stirs the noodles in the pot. He's kind of relieved, though. No one has asked about Mito in so long. He knows Kurapika and Leorio are  
afraid to ask. It's like no one wants to acknowledge that Mito used to be here. So afraid to make him upset, but Gon is going to be upset either way whether they ask or don't ask.

"So, that's why she's not here. She's dead." Killua grunts, watching as Gon stirs the noodles. "Where are your parents? Where's your mate? Do you live here alone?"  
"I don't have a mate." Gon chuckles, shaking his head. "And I don't know where my parents are. I never knew my Mom or my Dad. My Dad left me with Mito when I was very young and just never came back. Mito was the one who raised me so...she's like my Mom. She's the only  
mom I've ever known."

"No one ever really wanted you. Do you have some sort of defect? Other than your bad life choices?"

"I don't know about that. Mito wanted me. She raised me like her own! My Father just wanted to go out and be a doctor. I think my mother was sick or something. Being a doctor was more important than having me around. It's a kind of a good thing, though."Gon smiles. "I wouldn't give up the time I spent with Mito for anything!"  
Killua stares at him, his tail flicking as he thinks before he shakes his head.

"It's not like you're missing out on anything. I have parents and they're frustrating. Since you speak so fondly of Mito, I can only assume she was a good care giver. My mother on the other hand, ugh. I was glad to get away from her. When I was escaping the lab, she got in my face, telling me not to leave and this and that. I sliced her face up and left anyway." Killua smiles thinking about it, his ears perking up.

"You must really not like your mother." Gon frowns as he pours his noodles into a bowl to eat before walking over to the living room, with Killua following behind him.

"It was her fault. She got in my way and was threatening to tell the humans I was trying to escape! It was either her face or me, and it sure as hell wasn't going to be me." Killua flops down beside Gon on the couch, with Gon trying to hide how pleased he is with this. Killua is talking to him and now he's sitting close to him.

They're sharing a meal. He hasn't shared a meal with someone in this home for years.

"I guess you do what you have to do but...I wonder why she likes it at the lab so much? Is it really just because you guys got to kill?"

"There's that and they're all power hungry. Don't ask me about my family, I don't know. I think when the lab messed with their DNA they messed with their heads as well." Killua grumbles, starting to dig into his fish. His eyes light up. "This is...not so bad."

"Yeah?" Gon smiles, slurping up some of his raman noodles, his mouth watering  
from finally having food in his system.

"Yeah. It seems you have skills." Killua hums. He blinks when Gon grabs the remote and turns on the TV. Killua stares at the TV for a moment, those pupils getting bigger. "Big brother has one of these...I'm sure he blew up a place just to get one..."

"Do you not like it?" Gon blinks when Killua's ears flatten.

"Not really." Killua admits. Gon turns off the TV and smile at  
Killua.

"Then we don't have to watch it. Were you bored here?"

"Yeah, I was." Killua huffs. "I slept most of the day, but still. I couldn't go out to hunt."

"Did you play with your toy?" Gon smiles when he spots the mouse he had bought Killua laying on the floor in a different spot than he had left it. Killua tenses, his cheeks getting flushed before he glares  
away from Gon.

"No, I didn't."

Gon giggles, getting Killua to bristle but it's too cute.  
"Well, if you're not going to play with it then I'm going to." When Gon tries to get the toy, Killua is quick to jump in front of him, snatching the toy up in his mouth and glaring at Gon.

"It's mine!" Killua hisses, Gon grins.

"So you do like it!"

"W-What ever!" Killua drops it, batting the thing close to him, glaring at Gon but it looks more like a pout.

"So cute." Gon feels like squeezing him.

"Oi, I told you about that." Killua hisses, his tail puffing up.

"I can't help it! Stop being cute!"

"I'm going to cut your-" Killua stops, wincing when he puts pressure on his hurt arm. Gon's smile falls slightly.

"Okay, okay. I won't call you cute. So don't go hurting yourself to try to hurt me." Gon holds out his hand, Killua blinking at it, his glare falling. "Let's go to the bathroom so I can clean your  
wounds."

"...Whatever." Killua gets up by himself, crossing his arms, his tail flicking behind him as he walks into Gon's bed room and into the bathroom. He sits down on the toilet, watching as Gon gets out his kit.

"It's looking good." Gon smiles when he unwraps the bandage on Killua's arm, looking at the exposed flesh. It's pink but not red. No puss or swelling. Gon cleans and wraps him back up again. "Turn, so I can get your neck." Killua does so without a word. His body is a bit stiff with having Gon behind him though. Gon gets to work on the bandage, nodding his approval when the wound is asymptomatic. He  
cleans it and bandages him back up. "All done! Wasn't so bad, was it? You did good."

"It wasn't bad." Killua grumbles, his ears slightly down. Gon smiles, not able to help it anymore. He touches Killua's hair, patting him lightly to show his care. Gon's chest feels light when Killua leans into the touch. Only to turn on him, grabbing him by the arm and twisting.

"O-Ow! Killua-" Gon winces, Killua's grip is tight and it hurts. Killua  
watches Gon's grimace with dark eyes before he lets go of him, standing up and marching out of the room.

"Don't touch me." Killua growls, narrowing his eyes at Gon who rubs his arm. "I'm going to bed. Get out."

"I couldn't help it. When I was growing up, pats on the head always felt good. When a human does that, it means they like you. It's a way to show affection." Gon tries to explain-

"When a human touches me, it never ends well. I don't want your filthy hands on me." Killua snaps, those pupils getting bigger, his body stiff like he's ready for a fight. Those eyes are distant and  
he's looking at him like that again. Like he's one of those  
scientists. Like he's a rapist. Like he's bad.

Gon doesn't say anything. He just nods his head. "Good night, Killua. I won't wake you up in the morning if you don't want-"

"I don't want you to." Killua gets on the bed, curling up with his back to Gon. Gon frowns, but he leaves anyway, closing the door behind him. He sighs. He shouldn't have touched him. It's hard not to  
though. Gon just wants to show Killua affection.

Gon opens up the closet and brings out his book back, dragging it over to the couch. Now that he knows Killua is fed, cleaned and sleeping, Gon can focus on himself and his work.

He has a lot of studying to do for this exam.  
Gon can already feel the panic seeping in as he stares at his book, and he swallows thickly. He wishes you could just look at words and they would be implanted in your brain and you would know what they mean. Gon could really use that right now.  
This is what he gets for waiting for the last minute and getting distracted.

He's not going to get any sleep tonight.

* * *

"Gon, you look horrible." Leorio sits down next to Gon at their shared desk. Gon, who was currently laying his head on the table, half awake, drooling on his book of medicine, wakes up. Gon makes a grunting sound before he yawns, sitting up and wiping at his mouth.

"Ah! Hello Leorio!" Gon smiles brightly when he notices his friend, the bags under his eyes noticeable.

"Don't 'hello Leorio' me! Did you sleep at all last night?" Leorio's expression gets serious, the way he does when Gon isn't 'taking care of himself'.

"I slept...a couple of hours?" Gon smiles sheepishly when Leorio frowns at him.

"You stayed up studying again didn't you? How are you going to do well on the test if you can barely keep your eyes open?"

"I think I'll be okay-"

"I told you that you should start studying as soon as you get new material, that way you don't have to stay up all night the last day."

"I know! But your tutoring really helps me too! I'll be fine! I'm not going to fail." Gon grips his fist, determination in those amber eyes, that fire hasn't cooled off. The cold, nor the lack of sleep can put out that flame.

"At least you got the spirit." Leorio grins. The room is starting to be filled with their other classmates. Honestly, they don't look much better than Gon. They all look worn out and tired. "Just think, in a couple of years, we're going to be rolling in money."

"I don't really care about the money, but that's nice. You don't really care about the money either, Leorio." Gon smiles when Leorio gets all irritated like he always does.

"You can't do anything without money. We both want to help people and that's a good reason to be a doctor, but money makes the world go around, kid."

"I guess so." Gon thinks for a moment before he smile at Leorio. "Have you thought about where you want to work when you graduate?"

"Ugh,don't ask me about that. I'm still struggling to get past medical school, we all are." Leorio waves him off. "Do you know where you want to go?"

"Not really" Gon chuckles, shaking his head. "I know that I want to work somewhere close to Mito's grave."

Leorio is quiet for a moment, a slight frown tugging his lips before he nods his head. "Yeah...and Luna Valleys is a good place. We'll probably stay around here too, but you never know."

"Do you have anything planned out for the wedding?" Gon smiles when Leorio flushes, fiddling with his pencil.

"Not too much...but I do know you're being my best man." Leorio grins over at Gon, who blinks

.  
"Really? But I thought I was being Kurapika's best man-"

"What?! Did that bastard get to you before me? Oh, no. You're going to be my best man. He can get someone else." Leorio grumbles.

"Now you have something new to fight about." Gon sighs. He smiles soon after, and it's amused. "And then you're going to make up and be all over each other in the morning."

"Shut up Gon." Leorio flushes, getting Gon to giggle. "We just might not make up. We might have to separate, fighting over who gets you as a best man."

"Yeah, right." Gon chuckles. "You guys always make up because you love each other a lot. It's easy to see-"

"Stop with that so early in the morning." Leorio fixes his glasses that fell to his nose. When Gon gives him this derpy smile, Leorio can't help to chuckle, reaching over to ruffle his hair. "Get some more sleep next time, will you?" Leorio grins. "I know you're not going to fail. You got this. We both do."

"Yeah!" Gon's eyes light up.

The professor comes in then. All talking stops and the tests are passed out. Gon gets out his lucky pencil, gripping it tightly, just waiting with the test face down on his desk for the professor to say start.

He's not going to fail!  
"Start!"

* * *

"I hope I didn't fail." Gon groans, his head on the table, his stomach still twisting from all the anxious feelings from the 70 questions he just answered. There were so many questions that he narrowed down to two answers. Gon feels like he has a fifty percent shot of either passing or failing that exam.

"That was really hard." Leorio groans next to him, pretty much in the same state of shock, staring forward. The professor left the class, saying they all had a 10 minute break before class started again. No one has left their seat. All the students are just staring forward or holding their heads in their hands. "There were like...fifteen questions I circled that I wasn't sure of."

"I had thirty circled." Gon whimpers when he remembers that. His chances are looking worse by the minute, his stomach twisting up more. "I hate these tests. Give me a patient and I'm great!  
Practical, I get all As but theory is just...awful for me. I'm just not a good test taker."

"They make these things super hard on purpose. I feel like they're out to get us or something." Leorio narrows his eyes, glaring at the front at where the professor would stand. "There were some  
things on there that he didn't discuss in class!"

"Yeah, but it's always like that." Gon sighs.

"Um...hey, Gon." Gon blinks when he sees a small waist in his line of vision standing next to his desk. He sits up and locks eyes with those sparkling blue orbs.

"Oh hey, Retz!" Gon smiles at the friendly woman. He's talked to her a couple of times before. She's beautiful. Long, blonde, curly hair, big blue eyes and a sweet smile. She's very caring and she has the  
same dream to become a doctor. Everyone in this room does. Gon considers them all to be his allies. "What's up?"

"We're having a little get together after class to celebrate finishing this test. Would you like to come? I think It would be fun if you came." Retz smiles.

Leorio sits right up, looking at Gon with his eyes lighting up. Leorio nudges him. "Yeah! That sounds like fun right, Gon? You don't have work tonight either, Kurapika told me so."

"That's right I don't work today." Gon's eyebrows furrow at how Leorio smiles and how Retz's eyes seem to light up as well. "But I'm sorry Retz, I can't come. I'm sure it would have been fun- ow!"

Gon jumps when Leorio kicks his shin, glaring at him.  
"Gon go out and live a little bit! This pretty girl is asking you to hang  
out with her, you don't say no!"

"N-No, it's okay. If you're busy Gon, or if you don't want to go, I understand-"

"It's not that I don't want to go, Retz! I would have loved to but I have someone waiting for me at home." Gon gives her an apologetic smile. "Maybe some other time?"

Leorio's glare falls, his eyes widening a bit. Retz's eyes widen in surprise before she frowns slightly. "Oh, I see. Maybe some other time then." She smiles before she walks away, sitting down in her  
desk at the front.

"Hold up." Leorio grabs Gon's arm, pulling him closer, his brown eyes alight. "You have someone waiting for you at home? You have a girlfriend?! Why the hell didn't you tell me?! I thought we were  
closer than that! I feel betrayed!-"

"I don't have a girlfriend, Leorio, if I did you'd be the first one to know, I promise." Gon shakes his head, chuckling when Leorio's face falls. He looks so disappointed.  
"...wait. If you don't have a girlfriend, then did you lie to Retz?"

"No, I do have someone waiting for me at home."

"Who?You get a roommate? You didn't tell me that either!"

"Mmm, not really a roommate. He's more of a friend!"

"A friend? Who?" Leorio's eyes widen when he sees how Gon's smile gets softer, a certain happiness evident in those eyes.  
"He, huh?" Leorio moves closer. "What kind of friend we talking? Where'd you meet him? Do I know him? When am I going to meet him?"

"Probably never." Gon smiles when Leorio's face drops.

"What?!Why?"

"For reasons."

"Is he a bad influence? He's not that Knuckle guy is it?"

"No." Gon chuckles when Leorio's eyebrows furrow.

"Alright, 10 minutes has been up. Lets start on module 6. Your grades should be posted some time today, so don't bother me about it." the professor comes back in and everyone quiets down.

Gon gets his book out and he can't help his amused smile when he feels Leorio staring at him, frowning slightly. Leorio can be nosy when it comes to his business and he doesn't mind but...

Killua is his little secret.

* * *

"Killua! I'm home!" Gon walks in, closing the door behind him, wincing when the warmth starts to defrost his numb hands and face. "I'm so glad to be home, we had this super hard test and-" Gon stops  
talking when he doesn't see Killua in the living room. The house is silent except for dripping water. "Killua?" Gon places his book bag down, taking off his jacket and hanging it up before he walks into his bedroom. Killua isn't laying in his bed like he left him and his bathroom door is closed.

"I'm taking a bath, idiot. Leave me alone." Killua grunts from the other side of the door, the slight panic Gon had felt gone and a smile coming to his lips easily. "You don't have announce when you come home, either."

"I just want you to know I'm home! When you come out I have something for you!" Gon smiles, feeling giddy, that fatigue he was feeling seems to disappear when he's around Killua. "Are you hungry?"

"You have something for me?" The water moves like Killua just sat up in the tub. "...And I'm kind of hungry. I drank all the milk and I ate all those chips, and I ate some of the fish meat but It didn't taste as good as when you made it yesterday."

"All of it?!" Gon's eyes widen.

"I was hungry." Killua grunts. "and I'm hungry now."

"I'll make you some fish then! You have a big appetite Killua." Gon frowns. He's going to run out of food sooner than he thought...Gon really doesn't have the time to pick up extra shifts right now.

"Good. Now leave me alone."

"Okay." Gon spots the shirt and pants Killua was wearing on the floor in his bedroom. He picks them up, deciding that he should probably just wash them now while Killua is in the bath. Gon walks into his kitchen and opens the door that leans to his washer and dryer. He throws the clothes in with the rest of the load and turns it on.

Gon can't help to sigh when he walks into the kitchen, seeing that Killua had gotten into his plastic bags under the sink and ripped them up, leaving them all over the kitchen floor.  
Gon bends down to start picking it up only to wince when there's a sharp pain in his back. Gon takes a deep breath, straightening himself out, rubbing his lower back. The couch really isn't working for him.

Gon decides to leave the mess for right now, walking over to the refrigerator and opening it. Killua didn't touch the turkey but he ate half the fish. The milk is also gone. Gon pulls out the fish and  
sets up the pan to cook it.

When the fish is almost done, Gon hears his bedroom door open. "Oi! Where did you put my clothes?" Killua growls. Gon blinks and turns around, seeing Killua peering from around the door way, his  
white hair wet and sticking to his face, his ears back and his teeth baring.

"Oh, sorry Killua, I was washing them. You can pick some of my other clothes to wear while I'm cleaning them."

Killua's eyes narrow. "I don't want your other clothes, I wanted those."

"They'll be clean soon. Your fish is almost done too." Gon flips the fish once more before putting it on a plate. He smiles and walks over to Killua who jumps into the bed, covering himself up with the blankets. He hisses at him. "What's wrong?" Gon frowns.

"You humans have no self control. You see a being naked, that looks like you, and you jump on it." Killua snarls, his pupils becoming longer.

"I'm not going to do anything to you. I have self control Killua." Gon frowns, feeling a pang of hurt from the way Killua is looking at him. You would think he killed babies by the expression Killua is  
giving him. "Here's your fish. I know you're hungry Killua, but could you slow down on eating? I could make you food in the morning if you like, that you can eat when I'm not here." Gon walks in and places the plate on the bed, Killua's eyes watching him carefully.

"Fine, whatever. I don't want to see you till you bring back my clothes."

"Okay, that's fine. I'll bring them when they're done and nice and dry." Gon smiles when Killua's ears start to perk up and he seems to relax. "Did you have a good day today?"

"It was fine." Killua huffs, those blue eyes shifting away from him. "I told you to leave."

"Okay. I'll wrap up your wounds once your clothes are done too." Gon walks out of the room, closing the door behind him. He lets out a sigh. Killua really isn't in the mood today. Gon was hoping that he  
would open up more with him before he leaves but it's not looking like that.

Gon rubs at his eyes, yawning as he sits on the couch. He's starting to feel drained. Only when he sits down does he realize his stomach is growling and his mouth is watering. He feels kind of cold too. He's  
shivering slightly.

Gon gets up and turns his furnace on before going into the kitchen to make himself some raman noodles. "I have fifteen packs of raman noodles left...I can last pretty long on these. If I buy more of  
these next time, i'll be able to get more for Killua to eat."

Gon works it out in his head as he takes his bowl of noddles to the couch. Right when he sits down, his aching back making him sigh, his washer goes off. Gon stands up again, rubbing his lower back as he  
walks over to the machine, taking out the load and throwing it into the dryer.  
It's going to take about a good thirty minutes to dry, longer if he wants it toasty. Gon walks back over the the couch, dragging his book bag over to it. He sits down and starts to enjoy his noodles.

It's his  
fist time today that he's just sat down and tended to his needs.  
School was brutal as always and he always feels so drained when he  
comes back from it. He really wants to be a doctor but all the  
reading and tests are horrible.

After waiting and finishing his food, he decides he's going to look up his grade. Hopefully they've been posted so he doesn't have to stress out about it. He pulls out the laptop Leorio had gotten him for his  
birthday last year and quickly searches up his school and the grading system-

"Oi! What's taking so long?" Killua shouts from the other room.

"It's still drying! You don't want wet clothes do you? You'll get a cold." Gon calls back. Soon enough he hears angry stomping and his bedroom door opens. Gon turns to raise his eyebrow only to freeze when Killua comes out with the blanket wrapped around him like a cocoon, covering his body and the top of his head, leaving just his face.

Gon feels himself flush from the cuteness. He can't. He can't handle it.  
"Aww, Killua! You look so cute like that-"

"Shut up! I'm only doing this so you won't attack me. Don't call me cute!" Killua hisses as he hops over to the couch, flopping down, glaring at Gon who can't stop gushing at him. "What the hell are you  
doing?" Killua glares at the laptop.

"Huh? Oh! I'm just about to look up my grade! I took this really hard test in school today. I really hope I didn't fail." Gon smiles, going back to trying to look up his grade.

"You probably did."

"Hey!"

"So you were at school today." Killua mumbles, looking forward. "you sure are busy."

"Yeah. I'm always doing something." Gon chuckles before he looks at the screen. He stops, his smile falling and he just stares at the screen.

"What?" Killua glances over at Gon, noticing the change. When Gon doesn't  
respond, Killua smirks. "That bad huh?" When Gon still doesn't give him any attention, Killua's eyebrow twitches. "What?" Killua wiggles his way to get closer, peering over Gon's shoulder to  
look at the screen. He blinks. "It says you got a...seventy five? Is that bad?"

"No...well ,sort of, but no...I passed..." Gon closes his eyes, squeezing his fist before he throws his hands in the air, cheering. "I passed! I really passed! I didn't fail!" Gon chuckles, smiling  
so brightly over at Killua that he tenses, staring at him with wide eyes."I passed, Killua!"

"Good...job?" Killua swallows when Gon keeps smiling and laughing, those amber eyes  
sparkling and so bright.

"Thanks!" Gon beams before looking at the laptop again, staring at the seventy five, his chest getting light. He passed. He's amazed. He worked so hard and it paid off. Gon smiles fondly, his eyes getting distant. "I'm doing it, Mito," he mumbles.

Killua watches Gon from the corner of his eye, and watches how he stares at the computer with those bright eyes. Killua breathes out of his nose. "It's that important to you huh?"  
Gon doesn't respond, lost in his thoughts.

"Oi." Killua glares but Gon doesn't respond to him, staring at his grade and smiling about it. Killua's eyebrows furrow. He stares at Gon for the longest time but Gon still doesn't turn his attention on him.

Killua scowls before he wiggles his hand out of the bundle of blanket and with one movement, he shoves the laptop off of Gon's lap.  
"huh- Killua! What are you doing! That's expensive-" Gon starts to scold, his laptop falling on the floor with a clank. His words get caught in his throat when Killua suddenly flops his head in his lap.

"I decided that I'm laying here so I am. Deal with it." Killua growls.

Gon looks down, blinking owlishly, not believing that Killua had laid in his lap all on his own. Killua is glaring forward, his pale face flushed and for some reason, he knows his ears are flattened. He looks both dominant and submissive at the same time. It's like Killua is waiting for him to hurt him or to tell him to get off.  
Gon smiles, his chest feeling so warm and his stomach is turning- in a good way. Gon can't help to chuckle and it's light and airy.  
"What's so funny?!" Killua growls, tensing up on his lap.

"I'm just happy." Gon smiles down at Killua who looks at him with those blue eyes.

"Because you passed?" Killua grumbles.

"Yes but...this has made me even happier."

Killua's eyes brighten up and he closes them to hide it. "You're so weird. Me taking up your lap has made you happy?"

"Yes. Even happier than passing. Because this means I've gotten closer to  
you, Killua."

Killua keeps his eyes closed. "Your voice annoys me. Until my clothes are done, I own your lap. Don't touch me."

"I won't." Gon smiles. Killua doesn't look at him and Gon can't  
stop smiling.

Gon isn't cold anymore.

* * *

 **Thanks again to my beta reader Anathemal ! and thank you for all the reviews. Till next time.**


	3. Chapter 3

`"Killua, did you scratch on the wall?" Gon frowns when he notices the long cuts down his wallpaper. He glances over at his bedroom that Killua is getting changed in. As soon as his clothes were nice and dry he grabbed them and ran to his room, much to Gon's disappointment. He was loving having Killua on his lap. It felt so nice even though he couldn't touch him.

"Maybe." Killua walks out of his bedroom, his tail twitching behind him as he hugs himself. His face is blank, but Gon can hear he's purring. If not for the damage to his wall he may have smiled. Killua sure looks cozy in those nice warm clothes and he knows it's making him happy.

"Killua, you can't do that. I don't really own this place and any damage I have to pay for." Gon rubs the back of his head when Killua glares at him. "Also, I don't mind if you tear my plastic bags up but if you make a mess, clean up after yourself."

"And what if I don't?" Killua snorts, crossing his arms, those blue eyes narrowed at him.

"Well...I'll be upset with you." Gon tries to give him a firm look but Killua only smirks.

"Ohh no! You'll be upset." Killua chuckles, spilling sarcasm. "If I'm staying here, I'm doing what I want. It's super boring here. I told you, you might as well let me leave now. You're not going to get anything from me."

"Oh!" Gon's eyes light up and he smiles. Killua blinks, his ears going back when Gon walks past him and grabs the bag he had left on the table. "Speaking of being bored, I got you something!~" Gon pulls out a small machine mouse. Killua glares at it when Gon puts it down.

"What the hell is-" Killua stops talking, his pupils getting dilated when the mouse starts to move on its own, the wheels on the bottom being activated. Gon watches with amusement as the mouse starts rolling towards Killua, the man crouched down with his tail flicking behind him. Killua swats at it when it gets close, purring when it hits the couch and stops moving.

"You like it?" Gon feels warm and he has to wonder if this is what it feels like for parents giving gifts to their children.

"It's stupid." Killua huffs, his ears perking back up and he stands up.

"Well, I also got you this." Gon can't stop his smile as he walks over to his closet and pulls out a large box that he had found at the school that was holding a copying machine. Killua's pupils get big but he stands where he is as he stares at the box.

"You got me a box? That's dumb." Killua wrinkles his nose, glaring away from the box.

"It could be fun to get in, don't you think?" Gon tries. He was trying to think of ways to make Killua happier at his home but since he's running out of funds, he doesn't have to money to spoil Killua like he wants to. "I used to play in boxes when I was younger! Me and Mito used to have this huge box and we would get in and pretend many things! One time we were playing restaurant and then other times we were pretending the box was a car and then a doctor's office! It can be a lot of fun!"

"Do you have some sort of mental disorder or something?" Killua shakes his head. "That's just a box."

"I was trying to think of something to make you less bored." Gon frowns rubbing the back of his head before he smiles. "Oh, and one last thing." He walks over to the bag and gives Killua a chocolate bar. His ears twitch and his mouth waters. Quickly, he opens it and eats it in one go, purring and licking his lips. Gon smiles. At least he likes the chocolate.

"Why are you being so nice to me?" Killua narrows his eyes.

"I told you! I want to be your friend. That's all. I just want to help you Killua." Gon smiles despite the suspicious glare he's getting from Killua. "Let me take care of your wounds. I'll be right back." Gon walks into the bathroom, grabbing his kit before coming back. Killua is sitting on the couch, his tail waving behind him restlessly, those blue eyes glossed over as he stares at the mouse that Gon just got him. When Gon walks into the room, his ears perk up and that look is gone as he stares over at Gon with this blank expression.

"You know I've been wondering, Killua." Gon sits next to him, opening his kit and getting everything out that he'll need. Killua watches his every move. " Can you turn back into a cat like when I found you? Or did that just happen because of that weird chip in your neck?"

"I can turn back to a cat if I want to. I don't really get how it works so don't ask but I remember those humans saying something about our DNA being flexible now that they've already broken it up and altered it." Killua holds out his hand, watching as Gon takes off his old bandages, inspect the wound before cleaning it and wrapping the wound back up.

"That's amazing. You're like a shape shifter." Gon's eyes light up in wonder. "Could you turn around for me, Killua?" Killua stares at him a moment, those strange eyes boring into his before he slowly turns around. His body gets stiff, it always does when Gon is behind him, the fur on his tail brisling slightly. "I won't hurt you Killua." Gon carefully takes off the bandage on the back of his neck.

"I don't believe you." Killua digs his nails into the couch. Gon ignores this behavior as he cleans the wound and puts on a bandage.

"You know, I get really angry when you look at me like I'm a bad person, like I'm going to hurt you." Gon watches as Killua turns around, those pupils getting longer and his glare starting to form. "But, I'm not getting angry at you, I'm angry at those scientists that did this to you. They're the reason you have these painful expressions and why my touch hurts you even when I'm just patting you. They're the reason you think I'm going to hurt you. It makes me sick when I think of what they did to you, Killua." Gon glares down at his fists, speaking what's been bothering him for a couple of days now. Killua is quiet. When Gon glances over at him, he's staring at Gon with wide eyes.

His eyebrows furrow and he looks away from Gon, his tail stilling next to him. "There's no reason for you to be angry, idiot. What happened to me has nothing to do with you."

"Yes, it does. Because you're my friend."

Killua stiffens, his ears flattening as he glares to the side. "We're not friends. Stop that." His voice gets lower, a hiss. He stands up quickly and walks away, going into Gon's room before slamming the door. Gon stares after him, sighing to himself as he stands up, wincing from the pain in his lower back. He walks into the kitchen and starts cleaning up all the pieces of plastic bags, ignoring the discomfort.

Once the kitchen is clean, Gon just sits down at the kitchen table, his amber eyes getting duller. "Mito...I don't know what to do. I want to help him. I'm making sure he has plenty of food, I'm taking care of his wounds, making sure he's warm and I've gotten him toys but...those don't do anything to wounds of the soul. How can I help him, Mito?"

She doesn't answer. She's no longer here to give him kind advice. Gon shivers, rubbing his arms, feeling chilled. Gon sits at the table, staring at the wood for the longest time, not moving. Inside him there's a growing feeling of apprehension, a fear that he has to swallow down.

He can't let Killua down. He wants to become a doctor to heal people so...he can't fail this time. With the time he has with Killua, he'll try to show him love. He'll work with him like he's been taught to. Gon is going to care for his outside body and his insides.

The cold is a reminder, like a ghost whispering over his body, making his skin get covered in goosebumps. The cold wrapping her arms around him like a lover he never wanted and it chills him to the bone and all he can do is hug himself.

He can't fail again.

* * *

Days go by with Gon going to school, working hard but getting distracted by thoughts of Killua, and Leorio asking him about this friend he has at his home and what he's been thinking about. Then, Gon would go home and try to interact with Killua but he'd only come out for food and for his wound to be cleaned and then he would lock himself up in Gon's room. Gon has been making Killua food in the morning like he wanted and he's been cleaning up the messes that Killua leaves him everyday. And when Killua hisses at him to leave him alone, Gon does.

By the time Friday comes around, Gon is drained. He can barely keep his eyes open and his whole body aches from sleeping on the couch. He's feeling dejected by Killua pushing him away more than he was and his cold treatment towards Gon when he would bring him food and smile.

"Gon...you really don't look good." Leorio's voice gets Gon to look over at him, the man sitting next to him for class. "You're pale. Have you been eating properly? Don't you work tonight?"

"Yeah, I do." Gon rubs his eyes, wincing when he moves his arm. Leorio frowns at him.

"You should call out. You need to get some rest. What have you been doing these past couple of days? Ever since you said you had a friend waiting for you at home, you've been looking worse and worse. Where does he sleep anyway?"

"He sleeps on my bed." Gon rubs his head, feeling a headache come on. He didn't sleep at all last night. He couldn't stop thinking about ways to help Killua and to get closer to him. All his attempts have failed and Killua has gotten more distant from him. It's like the more kind things he does, the further Killua stays from him. "I've just been occupied with him."

"He sleeps on your bed? With you?" Leorio's eyes widen.

"No. Just him-"

"Wait, so you've been sleeping on the couch?! That's why your back's been hurting! What the hell! Tell that asshole he has to sleep on the couch! It's your home! You want me to talk to him? Because I will gladly-"

"No!" Gon shakes his head quickly, holding his arms out. "It's fine! I told him he could sleep there. It's not so bad-"

"Yes it is, when you're hurting. Tell him he needs to sleep on the couch. You can't be having a bad back doing all the things you do, Gon. You have to stop thinking about others and think about yourself."

"It's really okay, though." Gon looks down at his hands for a moment, knowing Leorio is about to argue with him. Gon decides to seek his help. "Do you remember that chapter a couple of weeks ago? It was all about abuse. Physical, sexual and emotional."

"...yeah?" Leorio calms down, his train of thought broken from Gon's randomness.

"It said in the book that rape victims take a while to heal and that they need love and support from their families. As doctors, what can we do? In the book it said to give it time. Prescribe medication if needed, but isn't there more that can be done?"

"...rape is a trauma. It depends on the person how it affects them. Remember when we had that clinical? I had a woman who had been raped. Her eyes were so dull and she was just staring at the floor. She had come when her family was concerned because she wasn't eating anything. The doctor I was shadowing prescribed her some anti-depressants and something to help her sleep at night but...it was a sad case. I heard later that even with the support she had and the medications and the therapy, not much changed. She ended up committing suicide." Leorio's eyes gloss over. "...we can't help everyone. That's the cruel reality of it. We can only try our best and pray that it works out."

The professor comes into the room and everyone gets quiet but Leorio's words linger in the air. Gon doesn't want to believe that. He doesn't want to think that he can't help Killua. He doesn't want to think of Killua ending up like that woman. Killua doesn't seem depressed but there are obvious scars and Gon is sure that he has post traumatic stress disorder. The trauma has made it so he can't trust Gon and he doesn't want anything to do with him.

Gon isn't working hard to be told he can't help everyone. He doesn't want to accept that reality, so he won't.

He won't believe it.

* * *

"Killua, I'm home!" Gon quickly shuts the door, his face numb from the cold. He holds the box of leftovers Kurapika had given him close, glancing around. He blinks when he notices that the large box and the mouse he had gotten Killua are gone. "I got you some food!" Gon winces, his legs hurting from standing all day at work. He had to go straight from school to work. He's running on empty.

"Where were you?" Killua walks out of his room. Glaring at Gon, his tail twitching in irritation. "You were gone all day."

"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry I had school and then I had to go to work." Gon smiles, glad Killua is having a conversation with him. He holds out the box of food that Killua snatches from him. Gon sighs in relief when he sees that his home isn't ruined. Killua didn't leave a mess for him today.

"Have you been sleeping, human? You look like you're about to fall over." Killua states, looking him over; his tail twitching behind him as he opens up the food and starts to throw the fried shrimp into his mouth, with the man starting to purr.

"Yeah...well, sort of." Gon rubs the back of his head. "I've been having trouble sleeping lately." Gon turns and starts to make himself some ramen noodles to eat. Killua stands close by, those blue eyes watching him as he eats the food Kurapika had given Gon to eat. Gon ends up dropping the fork he was using to stir the noodles. When he bends down to pick it up, he can't hide his wince.

"You've been injured?" Killua stops eating, those pupils reacting, staring at where Gon is rubbing.

"No, I'm just a little sore from sleeping on the couch." Gon finishes cooking and walks into the kitchen, Killua following after him. Gon feels his chest start to get warm. They're going to eat together again. Just this simple thing makes Gon happy.

"Humans are kind of pathetic how picky they are with their sleeping arrangements." Killua grunts as he sits next to Gon. "I can sleep anywhere and I wake up feeling great."

"I wish I could do that." Gon chuckles. "I didn't think the couch would be so bad but it's been killing me."

"..." Killua stares at him for a moment before throwing more food into his mouth. "If you kick me out you can take your bed back."

"No, that's okay. You're not healed yet. I'm fine." Gon shakes his head quickly and gets to eating. A silence falls over them as they eat side by side. Killua finishes first, his ears flatten when Gon rubs his back when he bends to pick up one of his books. The man watches him closely, his tail flicking behind him.

"Why are you doing this? Seriously? Just be honest with me-"

"I am being honest with you Killua. I want to be your friend. I want to help you. That's what I want." Gon looks over at Killua who stares at him intensely. He searches his eyes desperately but when he doesn't' see it, his ears go back and he digs into the couch with his nails. It's a nervous habit Killua has.

"You're lying!" Killua snaps, looking away, closing his eyes, his tail getting puffed up. Gon frowns at this, knowing that Killua is going to march away soon and lock himself in his room. Gon looks down at his book and tries to read, tries to study. He has to study some of the drugs and do drug cards on them to turn in Monday.

Killua doesn't leave. After a while, Gon can feel those eyes staring at him again. Gon is surprised when Killua suddenly lays his head down on Gon's book, blocking what he was just reading. "You've been working all day. Don't you take a break?"

"I can't. If I take a break, I'll fall behind." Gon smiles at Killua laying in his lap again. This reminds him of the time Mito had a kitten. When ever Gon tried to do his school work, the kitten would get on the book and then Gon would be stuck petting the kitty instead of doing his work.

"Well, you're taking a break and this book is now my pillow." Killua glares forward.

"Okay." Gon smiles fondly. "Did you play with the box and mouse today?"

"No." Killua says too quickly, his cheeks getting slightly pink.

"Sure, you didn't." Gon teases, getting a glare from Killua but with his cheeks flushed and his ears flattened, it's adorable.

"Shut up." Killua glares forward.

"Killua, can I touch your hair?" Gon asks. The man stiffens and he glares at Gon. They stare at each other for a moment before Killua slowly, slowly nods his head. Those eyes are narrowed at him though and Gon knows if he makes any wrong move Killua will bite his hand.

Gon reaches out slowly, carefully. Keeping eye contact with Killua, he touches Killua's hair, the man stiffening up and his ears going back. Gon waits for a moment before he starts to run his fingers down his hair, much like how you would pet a cat. Killua's body stays tense for a while but as Gon keeps petting his hair, and running his fingers through it, Killua's body relaxes slightly. His body is on high alert though.

"Your hair is so soft and pretty." Gon smiles, his heart getting warmer at finally being able to show Killua some affection. He'll ask before he does anything from now on. "It's like the color of snow. So white."

"You're embarrassing me." Killua hisses but it's not that harsh, his ears have perked up and his eyes have gotten half lidded. When Gon scratches behind his ear, Killua's eyes widen and Gon can hear his purr. "My father has hair like this too. Everyone else has black hair."

"I like it. It's long." Gon smiles, touching Killua's hair and nothing else.

"Eh. I don't care much for my hair or this human body." Killua shrugs his shoulders but his purr hasn't stopped.

"But you're beautiful." Gon smiles, humming as he starts to play with Killua's hair, trying to braid it and then scratching his scalp

.

"I'm not." Killua glares, his cheeks getting flushed as gon keeps playing with his hair. Gon doesn't know how much time goes by. He listens to Killua's purr as he touches his soft hair and feels his warmth. The day catches up with him and as Gon is petting Killua like he's been wanting to for so long, he falls asleep easily. So much easier than the rest of this week.

* * *

Gon is awoken from his peaceful sleep by a high pitched scream. Gon jumps up on the couch, his eyes wide as he glances around, his groggy mind trying to comprehend where he is or what's going on. When he hears the scream again, before all else, a name comes to mind and that makes wakes him up quickly.

"Killua!" Gon yells, banging down his door to get into his bedroom where the scream is coming from. Gon's heart is beating so fast, a fear there that eats at him. His first thought is that Killua got hurt somehow but when he bangs down the door, his heart seizes up in his throat.

Killua is kicking and screaming in his bed, his eyes are open, his pupils pin point, his eyes terrified.

"Get away from me! Get the fuck away! Don't touch me, don't fucking-" Killua makes a sound close to a whine before he screams again, his nails digging into his bed, ripping up the mattress. "Stop. Fucking stop!"

"Killua!" Gon calls out in alarm, running over towards him, already knowing Killua isn't really there. He's having a nightmare. A night terror. Gon doesn't have to guess what it's about. "It's a dream! Killua, wake up, it's a dream! You're not there anymore-" Gon grabs Killua's arms when he starts to cut himself by accident from all his thrashing. Killua's breath gets caught in his throat, a hiss coming from his lips. Before Gon can move Killua lashes out, cutting him good on his cheek. "Killua wake up! It's okay-" Killua grabs him and flips him so he's on the bed. Gon's eyes widen when Killua gets on top of him, his blue eyes dull and dangerous. He pulls back his hand, those sharp nails could easily pierce through him.

"Killua!" Gon tries again, shaking him. "It's me! You have to wake up! Killua!" Gon grabs the wrist to stop Killua from cutting his face anymore. He can feel his blood fall from the cut on his cheek.

Killua's ears twitch. Those dull eyes start to get light again. Killua blinks, looking down at Gon with wide eyes. "Gon...? What-" Killua's eyes suddenly narrow when he sees the cut on his cheek and how he's in his bed. "What the fuck did you do?" Killua leans closer, his eyes narrowed, his voice a hiss. "What are you doing here? Speak now before I slit your throat."

"You were screaming! You were having a nightmare Killua and I came in to wake you up. You were screaming so loud you woke me up. You were cutting yourself so I had to stop you. When I grabbed you, you attacked me."

Killua stares down at him for the longest time. When Gon's amber eyes don't change, Killua's ears flatten and he slowly gets off of Gon, taking a deep breath.

"...when that happens, don't come in here." Killua trembles. "I could have killed you, you stupid human. When you grabbed me I thought you were them and..." Killua's tail puffs up and he grinds his teeth.

"I couldn't let you live through that Killua. I couldn't stand hearing you scream like that." Gon looks at Killua whose ears are back and his eyes are trembling. "...do you want to talk about it Killua?...Was it the scientists?"

"...this happens every once in while. It's no big deal. I'm used to it. I can't even get away from them in my sleep the bastards." Killua growls, his trembling not dying. "you can leave now, I'm fine-"

"I don't want to leave you. You haven't stopped shaking; Killua, you're scared!" Killua looks away from him.

"Just go to back to sleep human-"

"Killua...I'm not going to leave you when you're scared." Killua closes his eyes tightly, his shoulders not stopping their jerking.

"J-Just go." His voice wavers, it breaks, sweat falling down his face. No one should be alone when feeling like this.

"Killua, take a deep breath." Gon speaks calmly as he reaches over. Killua snaps his head over, his pupils getting blown out and he bares his teeth. "I'm going to touch your hair."

Killua glares at him a moment before he nods his head. "Take a deep breath Killua." Killua does just that, Gon moving his hands through his hair, scratching behind his ears, trying to make the other man feel better.

Killua's rapid breathing starts to slow down, his pupils going back to normal. Killua leans into the touch, closing his eyes tightly, his hands reaching over, kneading Gon's thigh. It's a bit painful with his long nails but Gon lets him do it. It's a comfort measure. Gon doesn't know how long he just sits next to Killua, running his hands through his hair before Killua finally opens his eyes, those blue eye staring at him strangely.

"I'm...fine. You can stop now." Gon pulls away slowly, staring at him with concern. Killua stares at Gon intently. "I scratched you pretty good."

"Yeah, but it's okay. I know you weren't trying to scratch me." Gon smiles, wiping the blood from his cheek.

Killua stares at him for a moment before he leans in, licking the cut before pulling away, getting under the covers. "Clean it and bandage it. "

"I will." Gon smiles, staying next to Killua.

"...you work today, don't you?" Killua mumbles. Gon frowns. He does work today but he doesn't want to leave Killua after seeing him scream like that. Killua shouldn't be alone. And he's been so kind with letting him touch him. They're getting closer. Gon doesn't want to leave.

"...no. I don't." Gon lies. He's going to have to call off. He'll make it up somehow but he just can't today. Killua's ears perk up.

"That's a first." Killua mumbles, pulling the blanket up more. "Well, since you don't have work, you should sleep. I will allow you to sleep in here with me." Killua says this last part under his breath.

"Really?" Gon's eyes light up and he can't stop his smile.

"Yeah, just shut up and actually sleep. Don't keep me up." Killua grunts. "And stay on your side of the bed."

"O-Okay sure! Hold on, I'll be right back." Gon gets out of bed and walks out of the room. Killua watches him go, seeming irritated he got out of bed. He calls his boss, his heart beating faster when he thinks about calling out. He hasn't called out in...well he's never called out.

"Hello? Gon? What's wrong?" His boss answers, sounding like he's frowning.

"Hey Knuckle! Nothing is wrong it's just...I need to call out today." Gon waits for Knuckle to ask why and he swallows, not wanting to lie-

"That's fine! If you say you need a day off, I'm not going to question you. You work hard. Take this break."

"Thank you so much!" Gon's eyes brighten. "Bye!" He hangs up and runs quickly back to Killua. The man's ears perk up when he comes back and when he gets into bed, Killua doesn't stiffen up as much. He seems to relax.

"Don't touch me or I will scratch you."

"I won't." Gon smiles, getting comfy in his bed. It's been a week since he's slept in his own bed.

Killua doesn't say anything to him and he doesn't have another night terror. Gon stays up for the longest time, making sure Killua has fallen back to sleep before he allows himself to be engulfed by the warmth and sleep soon follows.

He's never slept so well in his life.

* * *

Gon arises slowly, warmth surrounding him, making him feel like he's been wrapped in a gentle flame. His bed is vibrating. Gon opens his eyes, tensing slightly when he sees those strange blue eyes staring at him intently. It's not surprising to see those eyes when he wakes up since he's been sleeping with him for almost a week now, but what surprised Gon is how close Killua is.

"Good morning, Killua."Gon smiles, reaching out to scratch the top of Killua's head like he's been doing.

"...Morning." Killua stares at him before closing his eyes. "You're about to get up for school."

"Yeah." Gon glances at the alarm clock, seeing he only has five minutes till he's supposed to get up.

"Didn't you say you had a test today or something?" Killua's tail flicks behind him.

"Yeah, it's just a mini test though. I think I'll be okay." Gon rubs the back of his head.

Killua nods his head, those eyes don't stop staring. "The cut on your cheek healed up." Killua's eyes go down, Gon knowing he's looking at the cuts on Gon's arms that he's caused when Gon would try to wake him up from his night terrors. Gon wasn't supposed to keep sleeping with Killua. After the first night terror, Killua wanted him to sleep on the couch again. But Killua had a night terror again, and Gon had to wake him up and comfort him. It started to become a thing and now Killua just expects him to sleep in the bed with him.

Sleeping in his own bed has helped his back and he sleeps easily with Killua. He's never cold. Even though he keeps getting woken up by Killua screaming and then Gon has to stay up to comfort him, Gon has been doing fine in his classes. Even with this happening, Gon is getting more sleep than he was.

"Speaking of wounds healing." Gon smiles, his stomach turning but he ignores it. "Your wounds are almost healed."

"Yeah. Almost." Killua closes his eyes, his tail flicking behind him, banging against the bed.

"It won't be long now before you can leave." Gon sits up in bed, the thought of his bed being empty again makes him chilled. Gon gets out of bed and walks over to get his clothes that he set out to wear. Killua watches him walk into the bathroom to take his shower, only when Gon is in the bathroom does the man's ears flatten. Killua looks at the bandages on his arm, glaring at it before huffing and turning on his side, pulling the covers up.

In the shower, Gon's chest feels tight. He knows that Killua will be able to leave by Sunday. If he's honest, his wounds are pretty much healed now. Killua could leave now but Gon doesn't want to tell him that. He wants to have Killua has much as he can. A part of him was hoping that Killua would like him and want to stay but even though they've gotten closer, Gon doesn't feel like Killua wants to stay. Killua can still be cold towards him and he makes messes all the time and complains that there's not enough food for him. Gon is trying his hardest but he's having trouble taking care of Killua.

And though Gon is comforting Killua and waking him up from his night terrors, Gon can't save him from the nightmares, can't take them away. They keep coming back. Gon can't heal the scars. He can't. Gon gets out of the shower, dressing himself before grabbing Killua's brush. He walks out of the room, seeing Killua in a bundle of blankets. He smiles.

"Killua, before I make your breakfast, do you want me to brush your hair?"

"...yeah." Killua sits up in bed, crawling towards Gon, his tail waving behind him. Gon sits behind him and starts to brush Killua's long white locks. He hums a tune, Killua closing his eyes and leaning into him, purring. Gon never says anything when Killua purrs. He mentioned it once and Killua bit him. Once all the knots are out, Gon smiles.

"Fish this morning?" Gon gets up and starts heading into the kitchen, not surprised when Killua follows him.

"Yeah." Killua glares at him when Gon starts getting everything ready to cook. "When are you going to get more food?"

"Ah, soon. Sorry, Killua, I know food has been sparse this week." Gon smiles apologetically as he starts cooking the last of the fish. Killua eats so much and since he missed a day last week and Sunday he didn't get tipped much; Gon didn't get much money this paycheck. Most of it went to his rent and he was left with barely anything. Gon was able to buy Killua some more food and Gon got himself ramen noodles, something really inexpensive. Gon is starting to run out of food for himself though

.

"When am I going to get some more chocolate?" Killua crosses his arms, watching as Gon cooks the food before handing it to him. He raises his eyebrow when Gon walks over to the couch and starts getting his shoes on. "Aren't you going to make yourself something Gon?"

"Ah, I'm not really hungry." Gon smiles at his shoes. It's not really a lie but honestly he's out of noodles and he couldn't eat Killua's food. He'll think of something.

"You're a big human. I would think you would eat more than you do." Killua comments, his ears flattening, his eyebrows furrowing as Gon walks around, getting his school stuff together, not looking over at the man.

"I usually do." Gon puts his book bag on before glancing over at Killua who is standing in the middle of the living room, staring at him.

"Good bye Killua-" Gon blinks when Killua glares and walks till he's standing right in front of him. Gon stares at him a moment, Killua's cheeks flushing before he bows his head. Gon's eyes light up and he smiles, reaching up to pet Killua's head. "Bye Killua! I'll be back." Gon's heart beats faster when Killua nuzzles his hand, sort of head butting it before pulling away.

"Try not to fail this test yeah?" Killua grins, turning on his heel and walking away.

"I haven't failed too many so far." Gon pouts, but soon he's grinning. He waves his good bye before he leaves, the cold surrounding him. All he can see is white and when he sees the snow, he thinks of Killua.

Gon really doesn't know what he's going to do when Killua leaves. It's already making him feel sick thinking about it.

* * *

"I'm back, Killua!" Gon cheers as he comes into his home, closing the door behind him. He blinks when he sees the box Gon had gotten Killua a week ago in the living room. He walks over to it, the flaps suddenly opening and Killua popping his head out. Gon's eyes light up from this overflow of cuteness and he feels like he could just die happy. "Aw, you're playing with the box!"

"I got super bored." Killua mumbles as he climbs out of the box, looking away from Gon when he keeps staring at him with those amber eyes alight. "You take the test?"

"Yup! I don't feel good about it." Gon winces. "They had some questions about diabetes that I overlooked."

"That's surprising, since all you do is study and do work." Killua grunts. He peeks over at Gon when he sees how he's fiddling with his fingers, looking nervous. Killua glares before sighing. "It will be fine. No use getting all worked up over it." Killua puts his hands on his waist, his ears perking up.

"Yeah, I guess so, but my stomach is still twisting over it. I want to pass so much. I can't afford to fail too many more tests." Gon bites his lip.

"..." Killua narrows his eyes before he turns and walks over to the couch, laying down on it. He glares but it looks more like a cute pout to Gon. "make me food and stop worrying over the test."

"Yes, sir." Gon chuckles as he walks into the kitchen. He frowns when he sees there's a couple of broken plates on the floor. "Killua, what happened in here?"

"You left those plates on the table."

"...yes? But why are they on the floor broken?"

"...when I saw them, I had the greatest urge to push them off the table so I did. On the counter is my space."

"Killua, I told you to stop making a mess or at least clean up after yourself." Gon puts his hands on his hips, giving Killua firm look or at least trying to.

Killua hisses at Gon, his ears going back. "I didn't feel like it."

"Killua!" Gon's eyes widen and he walks over to Killua quickly, grabbing his hands when he noticed the small cuts on his palm and the back of his hand. "You cut yourself!"

"That happens when you break glass." Killua grunts, not seeming affected by the cuts but his eyes light up when Gon had ran over to him and started looking at the cuts. "It sucks though, I might have to stay a bit longer now. Stupid glass."

"You shouldn't worry Killua. These cuts are small, they should be healed with your other wound by the weekend." Gon smiles reassuringly. Killua's face is blank before he nods his head.

"Good, then."

"I'll clean those up after I make you something to eat." Gon smiles, only to tense when Killua's body gets stiff. His ears perk up, turning this way and that, his pupils becoming pinpoint and his tail puffing up. "Killua-"

"Meow!" Killua jumps over the couch and runs into his room on all fours just as Gon's front door is opened. Gon jumps up in alarm, his fists out, confusion written in his expression only to settle down when he spots those glasses and that irritated face.

"Leorio?' Gon blinks when Leorio comes into his home with Kurapika close behind, giving Gon an apologetic smile. That's right. He had given Leorio and Kurapika a key to his place.

"I told him he should have knocked." Kurapika glares at Leorio who waves him off.

"Gon, I've come to meet this so called friend of yours! Ever since he's come around, you've been acting weird. As your best friends, it's our job to make sure this guy is okay. You've been coming to school with all these cuts and bruises Gon. If he's hurting you, I'll kick the shit out of him-" Leorio is going off, his eyes looking around quickly.

"It's nothing like that, Leorio!" Gon shakes his head quickly. "It's okay! You two should leave." Gon feels himself pale, thinking about Killua in the other room.

"I'm not leaving till I meet him." Leorio crosses his arms. "You're hiding something. You're getting all pale like you do."

"Um, Gon...there's a lot of scratches on your walls and is that broken glass on the floor?" Kurapika frowns, glancing over at Gon who rubs his arm.

"Did your 'friend' do this? Some sort of friend he is! Come out you bastard! Let me see your face!"

"Leorio!" Gon tries to calm his friend down only for everyone to stop when there's a meow behind him. Gon whips around, his eyes widening when he sees a white cat walk out of his bedroom. Everyone is silent as Killua jumps on the couch and sits down, before licking his paw.

"Gon." Leorio gets this look on his face, it scrunches up. "What is that?"

"This is Killua!" Gon smiles nervously.

"Gon, you have no money to have a pet. You've been struggling so much these past couple of weeks. I bet this cat is the reason huh? You've been spending money on food and...are those cat toys?! Gon what were you thinking? And where this friend of yours?" Leorio crosses his arms. Kurapika is staying out of it for the moment but he's frowning as well.

"This is my friend." Gon beams. Leorio just stares at him.

"You're joking, right? You turned down Retz for a cat?! Gon, that girl is so into you and you been turning her down to come back to a cat?! I need to help you somehow! This cat has been messing your house up to hasn't it?" Leorio's eye twitches. Killua ears perk up and he narrows his eyes at Leorio.

"Yes, Killua can make a mess but that's okay-"

"Gon, no it's not." Leorio shakes his head, his expression getting serious. "You've been barely eating lately and I know why. You've been spending all your money on making sure the cat is fed. That's how you are. You've been stressing yourself out more than you need to. Where did you even get this cat?"

"I found him." Gon rubs his arm, he can feel Killua staring at him.

"He's a stray?! You don't even know if he's gotten his shots! And I know you don't have the money to afford that. Gon I know you like this cat but you have to get rid-"

"No." Gon shakes his head. "Killua is fine here. I'm working hard Leorio. I can afford it. Don't worry."

"Who is Killua?"

"That's the cat's name." Kurapika answers.

"Oh...wait how do you know that?" Leorio's eyes narrow. Kurapika looks away quickly.

"Hmm, I wonder." Kurapika mumbles. Gon knows there's another argument right around the corner.

"But, Gon, I do agree with Leorio for once. You've been so hungry lately. I hear your stomach growl all the time."

"I'm okay guys. I know you're worried about me but I'm fine. I...Killua makes me happy. He's been helping me through the winter." Gon's amber eyes shift when Leorio and Kurapika look at each other. They frown before looking at him.

"...I feel like you should go out with people, Gon, and not stay with a cat. People will make you feel better-"

"No. Killua makes me feel better." Gon shakes his head.

They're silent for a moment. And it's tense.

"...If Killua is making Gon happy, we have no right to interfere. It's Gon choice." Kurapika watches how Leorio's face scrunches up.

"At least let us help you, Gon. We could give you some extra money to make sure you're eating properly. Or, you could come over to our place for dinner. I don't want to see my friend starving."

"Yeah...I don't like it, but if you need this cat, Gon, then I'll support you. Just let us support you."

Leorio and Kurapika look at him, those eyes filled with concern and love. Gon feels himself warm and he closes his eyes.

"Thank you, guys but you've already done-"

"No, we haven't. You're taking our money and you're going to like it." Leorio crosses his arms. He glares over at Killua, who had been staring at Gon intently. Killua tenses and hisses at Leorio when he moves closer, swatting at his hand. "Ugh! It's so not cute! Gon you could have gotten a cute cat at least!"

"Killua is cute!" Gon smiles.

Leorio tries again, only for Killua to growl, getting Leorio to pull his hand away.

"Killua doesn't like you," Kurapika chuckles. He walks over to Killua reaching out to pet him. Killua hisses and scratches him. "Ow!"

"Ha! He doesn't like you either." Leorio smirks when Kurapika glares at him. Gon blinks when Killua runs from the couch over to Gon, standing by between his legs, glaring at Leorio and Kurapika. "Ohh, I get it, he only likes you." Leorio grins. "Of course."

"We have to leave Gon, we're heading to meet up with the marriage counselor." Kurapika flushes when Gon beams. "Please take this." Kurapika pulls out some money, holding it towards Gon.

"I couldn't-"

"You're taking it!" Leorio takes the money and puts it on the ground before grabbing Kurapika. "Let's make a run for it!" Leorio and Kurapika runout of his apartment, Kurapika waving as they go. Gon stares after them with wide eyes before he chuckles, shaking his head.

"Aw, you guys really didn't have to do this..." Gon walks over to the door and shuts it, locking it.

"Gon..." Gon tenses at that voice. So soft. Gon turns around to see Killua standing there, his ears flatten, those blue eyes staring at him with this light. Gon flushes slightly when he sees Killua isn't wearing any clothes anymore, his body bare and exposed. "Why didn't you eat some of the food here if you were hungry?"

"I wanted to make sure you had enough. Don't worry Killua, I'll-"

"Why are you doing this? Why have you been caring about me? You've been making sure I have food at the expense of your own hunger. You've given me your bed. You've taken care of my wounds and cleaned up after my messes. You've come home to me to keep me company when you could be going out with other humans. I...I just don't..."

Killua closes his eyes tightly, gripping his fists. "I don't understand you! You're risking your life just to have me here? Just to be my friend? Just to take care of me? You've woken up to my screaming and each time you touch my hair and nothing else." Killua's voice is raising, his eyes trembling. "I can't accept that you're doing all this because we're friends or because I make you feel better, because that was a lie! I haven't done anything for you, I haven't made you feel better. You...I don't get you..."

Killua takes a step back when Gon takes a step forward. "It's because you are my friend, Killua. You don't have to do anything, just you here is enough. It just feels so good to have someone to come home to to, to take care of someone."

"Taking care of my wounds make you happy..." Killua's ears stay flattened before he takes a deep breath, those blue eyes locking with his. "Gon..." Killua turns around, Gon's eyes widen when Killua bends over the couch, his tail waving slightly in the air, his body stiff. "The only two things I know that please humans is death and sex. Do what you want to me. You've put much more effort into this than the others. Go ahead. I won't hurt you." Killua's body is trembling. It takes a while for Gon to register what Killua is offering. He feels ill, and he has to tear his eyes away from Killua's smooth bottom that's presented to him. or maybe both Gon feels an anger build and he grabs a blanket, marching over to Killua. Killua's shoulders tense up and he bites the couch, as if he's getting ready for a painful experience.

Gon puts the blanket over him, Killua's ears perking up in surprise and he turns around to look at Gon, allowing Gon to cover him completely. "You don't want to catch a cold, Killua." Gon smiles gently. "But you said I could do what I want right?"

"Y-Yeah." Killua nods his head quickly. He closes his eyes when Gon touches his cheek. Gon pulls Killua down on the couch, wrapping his arms around the bundle. Killua blinks, staring at Gon with

questioning eyes.

"Then, I want to cuddle." Gon beams, nuzzling Killua's head. "...Killua, don't do that again. I don't want to hurt you. I'm not being nice to have sex with you. I just really like you Killua."

"Gon..." Killua's eyes are wide and his cheeks are flushed. As Gon just hugs Killua, he starts to hear his purring. He closes his eyes tightly and nuzzles his head against Gon's. "I really don't understand you. You're so weird."

"I'm not that weird-"

"Ohh, yes you are." Killua mumbles, wiggling closer to him. There's a comfortable silence before Killua glares at him. "You're going to use that money to get yourself some food, Gon. You're not going to be starving yourself. That's just stupid."

"But we're running out of food for you-"

"We'll share. I'm fine with that." Killua's ears get red when Gon looks at him with wide eyes.

"You'll share your food-"

"I said I'm fine with it so...whatever." Killua grumbles.

"...I have homework.' Gon sighs

"Forget it." Killua's tail flicks in annoyance before he wiggles closer, Gon hugging him tighter.

"I can't do that Killua." Gon chuckles, his eyes feeling heavy.

Killua keeps nuzzling his head, his purr like a song luring him asleep. His warmth taking away the cold. He won't think about how cold it's going to get when Killua leaves. He'll just enjoy this moment now. He'll hold onto Killua as long as he can.

* * *

 **Thanks to my beta reader Anathemal! Another chapter posted! I Should be working on my culture project but blah. I'll get to it. Hope you guys enjoyed and thanks for the reviews!**


	4. Chapter 4

"Oh." Gon stops when he peels off the bandage, his eyes falling on the smooth skin there. Killua has healed. There's nothing that can be said. Gon ignores how his stomach drops and he fights the urge to shield the arm away from Killua, as if that would stop him from seeing the truth. But Gon knows it's time. Killua doesn't want to stay here. "You're all healed Killua." Gon smiles at the cat like human who stares at his arm with a blank expression.

"Yeah..." Killua locks eyes with Gon, his ears twitching as Gon takes off the bandage on the back of his neck.

"Just as I promised, you're free to go, Killua." Gon stands up quickly and grabs his book bag. He smiles at Killua who has stood up, watching him intently. "I'm running a bit late today but feel free to have some cereal for breakfast. Take anything you need, too. I've really enjoyed you being here Killua...please be safe wherever you go." Gon knows his smile isn't as bright. Killua just stares at him. "You know how to open the door right? Please take my jacket-but I guess you'll be going around as a cat? Just be safe and warm okay?"

Killua doesn't say anything. His tail flicks behind him. He looks annoyed.

"Okay. Bye, Killua!" Gon waves before he walks out of his apartment, leaving it unlocked. As soon as he's in the cold and away from those strange eyes, Gon frowns. He frowns deeply. He bites his lip to stop himself from just going back in there and trying to persuade Killua to stay. That wouldn't be right.

Killua made it clear that he was only staying till' his wounds are healed. Gon promised that would be it. Gon know this day was coming. He saw the wounds healing and it was like a ticking time bomb. Gon wanted Killua to heal, but, at the same time, Gon wanted him to stay.

Killua seemed like he was getting use to sleeping together in his bed, too, and for a couple of days he hasn't had any night terrors. Just when Gon is getting closer to Killua, those wounds have to heal. His time with Killua is over. It's time for Killua to leave.

Gon closes his eyes as he walks towards the road, his breathing coming out in puffs. He feels a lump in his throat but he suppresses it. There's a part of him that hopes that Killua will stay; that he'll decide he wants to stay with Gon. Gon doesn't have much money and he's very busy, but he would give Killua his all just to keep him warming up his life.

Gon's thoughts are chilled and his heart beats slowly. Killua will be gone when he comes home. He already knows. It's over.

His home will once again be empty and the cold will be there with open arms, ready to embrace him and steal all the warmth he has left.

* * *

"Gon...you alright?" Leorio asks, getting Gon to blink and look over at his friend who is frowning at him. What was he doing just now? Oh yeah. He was reading his book, listening to the professor speak. That's what he was suppose to be doing, anyway.

"I'm okay." Gon smiles, it doesn't reach his eyes. "I'm just a little upset."

"Why?" Leorio moves closer, those eyes showing that concern.

"Killua doesn't want to stay with me, so today was his last morning with me." Gon frowns, fiddling with his pencil. He's been trying to focus but all he can think about is Killua's strange blue eyes and how fun these past few weeks have been. How warm they've been.

"How can a cat decided if it wants to stay with you?" Leorio blinks. When Gon doesn't answer, Leorio puts a hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry about it, Gon. That cat was so not cute. I can get you a cuter cat! We could go to the pet store after class!"

"That cat won't be Killua, though." Gon frowns, laying his head on the desk. Leorio bites his lip, torn like a parent trying to pull their kid out of a depression when their fish dies by buying a new one.

"Yeah, it will be better." Leorio watches as Gon closes his eyes before opening them. Those amber eyes dull in his thinking.

"I think it will be okay. Things will just go back to the way they were. I was doing fine." Gon closes his eyes. "I think I'm going to visit Mito's grave today."

"You want me to come?"

"No. You hang out with Kurapika on Tuesdays." Gon opens his eyes and smiles, this time it's warm and it gets Leorio to relax. "I'm fine. I want to talk with Mito in private anyway."

"Okay. My offer on the cat still stands though if you want one! I think Kurapika wants a cat, now that he saw Killua." Leorio chuckles, shaking his head.

"Yeah. Killua is cute." Gon smiles, closing his eyes, ignoring this pain in his chest. He feels chilled.

The rest of the class goes by and Gon doesn't remember anything the professor said. He says his goodbyes to Leorio and then he's off into the cold, grabbing a taxi.

Gon keeps his hands in his pockets, trying to warm them, but the closer Gon gets to Mito's grave, the colder he feels. It's not snowing today but the ground is covered in white, the blanket is still covering the earth.

Gon pays the taxi driver before walking into the graveyard, the gates creaking as he opens them more to slip through. He pasts by all the sad stones decorated with snow and ice, cracked, old, forgotten. He pasts by some stones that have flowers in front of them but they too are covered in snow, and decaying. Gon's feet make a crunching sound and his breath puffs out like smoke. His face is so numb in this weather, but he's used to it now. He can't feel his nose or his ears anymore.

Gon stops in front of Mito's grave. He falls to his knees in front of it, ignoring how the snow wets his pants and chills him even more. He digs his hands into the cold, freezing his fingers but he doesn't care. He accepts the cold. He accepts the pain.

"Mito...it's been awhile since I've come visit you. You're always in my prayers, but I know you like it when I come to see you in person." Gon mumbles, taking a deep breath. "I've been telling you all about my new friend Killua...and how happy I've been. It's been great, Mito...so that's why..." Gon sniffles, that lump coming back, bring tears to his eyes that feel like they could freeze on his face. "I've come to you, Mito. I don't want to go back. I know it's going to be empty. I accepted it, after a while, that you were gone but now I can't. For the past two weeks all I've cared about is taking care of Killua, getting closer to Killua...now Killua is gone." Gon's shoulders shake, his tears keep falling.

"I know you don't like me crying. I'm sorry I'm so weak. I just...I just miss you so much." Gon sobs, burying his hand deepening into the snow, needing the cold, needing his hands to go numb. "This weather, it always remind me of you Mito. I love it, but it hurts too. When the winter leaves me, I won't have anything." Gon crawls over to the stone, wrapping his arms around it, hugging it tightly. All he feels is cold. He's so numb. His heartbeat has slowed and he knows that if he stays too long, it will be dangerous for his health.

"You would have loved Killua, Mito. I bet you would have accepted him and made him your famous meatloaf. I bet Killua would have liked you too. Killua can be cold at first but he when he warms up to you Mito...when he warms up..." Gon loses himself again, his tears falling into the snow. "He's so kind. I wish you could have met him. You used to love cats too. I think I like cats better now." Gon sniffles.

He close eyes, trying to picture Mito hugging him back, trying to remember her warmth…

All he has is the cold and the hard stone. Gon feels no warmth.

* * *

Gon stand in front of his apartment. He takes deep breaths, reaching out with a trembling hand to open the door. He doesn't want to. He doesn't want to go back in there when he knows how it's going to be. Gon swallows before he opens the door and walks in. He opens his mouth to greet Killua out of habit only to stop himself.

It would be too sad if he did that and there was no reply. No smart comment or Killua looking annoyed or pleased. Gon quietly takes off his coat, the silence really getting to him. It feels like the first day he came back here after Mito died.

Cold and empty.

"G-Gon?"

Gon freezes. He jumps he's so surprised. He whips his head over towards his bedroom, his breathing getting caught in his throat as he walks over to his bedroom, his heart hammering in his chest.

"Killua?" Gon swallows, praying this isn't his mind playing tricks on him as he opens the door. His eyes widen and his brain stops for a moment.

There's blood on his bedroom floor. Killua is sitting on the floor, both of his arms are all cut up, bleeding onto his carpet. Killua stares at Gon with big blue eyes, his tail waving behind him. When he sees the look on Gon's face, those blue eyes brighten.

"Killua, what happened to you!" Gon rushes over, getting down to grab Killua's hands to get a good look at the wounds. Gon's eyebrows furrow when he gets a good look at it...it looks like scratch marks.

"I went outside to leave, ended up being attacked by some animal." Killua shrugs his shoulders, his tail hitting the floor roughly.

"Killua these are scratch marks and by the way they're positioned..." Gon looks at Killua, frowning.

"Killua, did you do this to yourself?"

Killua tenses, his ears flattening before he growls at Gon. He rips his hands away from Gon, his bangs getting in his face so all Gon can see is those teeth, and those canines. "It doesn't matter how it happened! Just take care of me! I'm wounded, so I can't leave. You said that remember? If I'm wounded I can't leave. So be a doctor and take care of me!" Killua holds out his hands, his breathing uneven, his voice had raised till he was yelling at him. His body is so tense, and his ears are back.

Gon stares at him with wide eyes. He swallows. "Killua...why did you do this?"

Killua grinds his teeth, pulling his arms away, bowing his head, his ears flattening. "I'm wounded so...I can't leave. You said you like taking care of me so just do that. What's with all these questions, idiot? I'm bleeding over here."

"You didn't do this because I said that did you? I love taking care of you because I want to make you better! I don't want you to hurt yourself Killua! And don't you want to leave?-"

"Do you want me to leave?!" Killua snarls, his nails digging into the carpet. "Is that it? Why don't you just take care of me? It doesn't matter how I got the wound as I long as I get to stay here and you get to take care of me some more right?" Killua looks up at him, something vulnerable, breakable in his gaze.

"Do you not want to anymore, Gon?"

"T-That's not it!" Gon pulls Killua into a hug, not able to stop himself, his heart felt like it was shattering seeing such a look on Killua's face. "I love taking care of Killua but I don't want you to hurt yourself-"

"But I healed!" Killua stiffens in his hold only to relax. 'You were kicking me out-"

"I never kicked you out Killua!" Gon pulls away to look into Killua's eyes that are trembling. "...Killua, you said that you only wanted to stay with me till your wounds were healed. And I promised you that was it remember? The offer to stay was given to you from the beginning but you kept turning it down so I thought you didn't want to. Killua do you know how hard today has been? Thinking that you wouldn't be here for me anymore?" Gon swallows down the lump in his throat, his eyes getting watery.

"I wanted to tell you how much I wanted you to say. I wanted to try to convince you to stay but I promised you Killua! Of course I want you to stay. I don't want you to leave." Gon's lips tremble when Killua stares at him with wide eyes.

They're getting brighter though and Gon can hear his purr.

"... I can stay? Even when I'm not hurt?" Killua seems to calm down.

"You can stay as long as you want, Killua. Just please don't hurt yourself again. I like taking care of you, but I don't want to see you hurt." Gon holds Killua's hands, staring into those blue eyes with a fire of compassion. Killua stares at it a moment before his ears flatten, his face getting flushed, those eyes brightening.

"...I won't do it again." Killua grunts, but his purr is evident. "And I'll take you up on your offer to stay. Just keep the chocolate coming. But I have a question, how long can I stay? What's the limit?" Killua glances at him from the corner of his eye.

"There is no limit Killua. Stay as long as you want. Make this place your home if you want. I'd love that." Gon chuckles, feeling so relieved, his body defrosting. Killua watches this a moment before he swallows.

"This is my home then. It's mine. So you can't get rid of me now." Killua glares at Gon but it's not harsh. " I'm going outside. It's not fair you get to travel outside of our home. So starting tomorrow, I'm going out to hunt."

"That's fine, as long as you're safe. Now that I'm looking at your wounds, they're not that bad." Gon grabs Killua's hand, leading him into the bathroom, Killua following after him with no problems and his ears perking up.

"Yeah, it was a bit harder than I expected to cause myself harm. It was like I could hear my brother in my head, 'don't cause yourself harm.'" Killua's eyes get distant as Gon turns on the water, Killua sticks his arms under the stream, watching as the pink water goes down the drain. "There's a part of me that thought it was ridiculous what I was doing but...when I went outside, the further I got away from your home, the more anxious I became. I won't harm myself, but this is my home now. You can't kick me out now."

"I wasn't planning on kicking you out. This is your home now." Gon smiles as he dries his arms. He gets his kit, puts on some antibiotic cream, and wraps up his arms; much like he's been doing for two weeks now. Just as Gon is finishing putting on the bandages, he finds some tears falling through. He feels so warm and happy and…

"What's wrong with you?" Killua blinks at the tears.

"I'm just so happy you're staying, Killua!" Gon sniffles, wiping his tears away, smiling so brightly at Killua that his ears go back and he flushes.

"...don't cry about it, stupid." Killua leans in, licking one of his tears before pulling away. Gon's cheeks flushing from the cute gesture. "If you're so happy, groom me."

"Sure!" Gon grabs the brush, walking out with Killua, watching as Killua jumps on the bed, crossing his legs. His ears are flattened and his lips are wobbly, those eyes are bright and when gon gets closer he hides his face away from him. Gon smiles and jumps so he's behind Killua, going to brushing Killua's long hair, humming a tune, but aware of the purring Killua is doing.

"...you felt very cold when you touched me first. You're warm again now though." Killua says after awhile of Gon brushing his hair.

"Yeah, I was outside for awhile. I visited Mito's grave." Gon runs his fingers through Killua's hair, admiring how silky and shiny it is.

"Oh." Killua's ears perk up, leaning back into Gon's touch when he scratches behind his ears.

"She would have liked you." Gon smiles, leaning in to nuzzle the back of Killua's head.

"You think?" Killua glances back at Gon who nods his head. "Huh. I probably wouldn't like her."

"Aw, don't say that. I think you'd grow use to her."

"I don't know." Killua crosses his arms. "Having you around is enough human for me."

"What about Leorio and Kurapika?"

"Who?"

"The two humans that came over a couple of days ago-"

"Oh, those two. I didn't like them, of course. That old man was annoying and I don't like the blonde." Killua snorts. "If those are your companions no wonder you wanted me to keep you company so much."

"Killua, they're good people. I'm sure if you see them more, you'll like them too-"

"I doubt it." Killua waves his hand. Gon blinks when Killua moves so he's sitting in Gon's lap, he glares at him, daring him to say something. Gon smiles and Killua purrs, glancing away from him.

"How was school?"

"I don't remember much of it. I couldn't focus. I kept thinking about you." Gon chuckles sheepishly when Killua flicks his forehead, there's something lighter about his eyes though and his tail has wrapped around his wrist.

"You're going to fail your test if you do things like that." Killua grins. "So you really expected me to be gone, huh?"

"Yeah, I did. When I thought about that, I got really upset." Gon answer honestly, that grin falling from Killua quickly. Gon's amber eyes get dull, Killua's ears flattening. "I thought about how this place was going to be so much colder and emptier without you. When I thought about that, I couldn't focus on anything else."

Gon blinks when Killua suddenly gets off his lap. Gon's eyebrows furrow when Killua walks over to the bedroom wall, his body stiff and his hands clenched. "Killua-" Gon stops when Killua turns so his back is against the wall. He starts to rub his back against the wall, doing a roll and rubbing himself against his wall as he goes. "Uh Killua-" Killua marches over to his bed and starts rolling around on it. He grabs his pillows and rubs his cheeks against them.

"What are you doing Killua?"Gon finally gets the question out when Killua rolls around on the floor.

"Isn't it obvious?" Killua puffs out his cheeks, standing up with his hip poked to the side.

"No." Gon tilts his head.

"I'm marking this place as mine. This is my room. This is my bed, my wall, my carpet. This home is mine. So you don't have to worry about it being empty or whatever." Killua crosses his arms, his cheeks flushing when Gon's who face lights up. "You look better when you're smiling like an idiot."

Gon, who was just smiling like an idiot, smiles larger and he can't help to run over to Killua, opening up his arms for a hug. Killua side steps him and Gon ends up hitting his head on the wall.

"Don't just come at me like that!" Killua bristles, his tail puffing up.

"I just wanted a hug. You were being so cute and nice I couldn't help it!"

"There's nothing nice about claiming your home." Killua grunts, but he can't keep eye contact with him.

"Yes, it is. It makes me really happy. This is the best thing that's happened to me! Killua, you give me warmth in this winter. You make me smile like an idiot. So, I can't help it when I get these urges to just hold you and cuddle with you."

Killua's eyes widen and he glances at Gon who is smiling at him brightly, those amber eyes filled with a fire of passion and warmth. Killua's ears flatten and he scratches his cheek, his tail waving behind him.

"...if I'm warmth, you're fire."

"Huh?' Gon didn't quite catch when Killua just mumbled under his breath.

"N-Nothing!" Killua bristles, his ears perking up and his skin flushed. "If you want to cuddle me, tell me beforehand or I will hurt you. And don't do it too much, it annoys me." Killua grunts, glaring at Gon.

"Okay."Gon feels like running he's so hyped up with all these good feelings. "What do you want for dinner, Killua?"

"I'm going to go out to hunt, you eat that last chicken in there."

"You sure? You can have-"

"I don't want it. I want to hunt." Killua says quickly. "You eat it."

"Okay." Gon smiles, his stomach rumbling at the mention of food. "Bring your food back here so we can eat together."

"I was planning on doing that anyway." Killua mumbles. He keeps glaring at Gon, and he can't help to wonder if it's because he's been in his personal space for too long.

"I'll go work on my school work-"

"But you just got back from school." Killua cuts him off, walking closer. "You said you wanted to cuddle me so..." Killua holds out his arms, closing his eyes and sighing like he's annoyed. Gon blinks before he smiles, walking over to hug Killua against his chest, nuzzling his head. Killua gets really stiff and it takes awhile for him to relax like it always does but he relaxes.

Killua's purr is like angels singing to Gon. Gon didn't think he'd be able to do this anymore. He can't believe Killua is staying with him for good.

 _Mito...I'm sorry I cried in front of you, but it's all good now._

Killua nuzzles his head back after a while. Gon feels like he could cry.

 _I'm happy, Mito._

* * *

"I just realized something. How are you going to get back into the apartment if you leave when I'm not around?" Gon glances back at Killua who is stretching his arm above his head, getting ready to walk out of his apartment to go hunting. Gon has already started cooking the last of the chicken for himself.

"That's easy. When you're gone, I'll just leave that window open. It works fine." Killua points at the window that is in front of the sink. Killua chuckles, his tail flicking when Gon looks back at him with wide eyes.. "You didn't think I'd actually just stay in here, did you? Of course I went out. A locked door can't keep me in."

"And everything was okay? You didn't run into any of those scientists?"

"Nah. It's fine. I know how to hide myself well in the snow." Killua waves his hand. "I didn't stay out there too long anyway. It's too cold."

"If you've been getting out, what stopped you from just leaving?" Gon looks at the window, feeling kind of stupid from not seeing that possibility.

"Well, I told you I would stay till I was healed and...you're interesting. I was already trying to find the next place I would go but..." Killua shrugs his shoulders when Gon looks back at him. "Besides, it's cold out there and I didn't feel like leaving your bed." Killua grunts, crossing his arms.

"Well, thank goodness for my bed, then." Gon chuckles, going back to cooking his chicken. Killua walks over to him and opens up the window.

"Yeah, don't eat without me." Killua walks into his bedroom.

"I won't." Gon smiles when a white cat runs out of his bedroom and jumps on his counter. Those big blue eyes stare at Gon for a moment before Killua jumps out of the window, walking along the thin rail to maneuver his way down onto the ground.

Gon watches him go, smiling to himself. Killua really is smart. He must have came in before Gon got home and destroyed all evidence of him going out. It's not that Gon minded Killua going out but...there was a fear in him that if Killua went out, he wouldn't come back. Either Killua would just leave or those scientists would get a hold of him. It's been almost three weeks now, and there's been no sign of anyone looking for Killua. Gon knows they couldn't have just given up on Killua, not when he's a government experiment. They're going to come for him eventually.

Gon grips his fist, glaring at the chicken that is starting to burn in the pan. This is Killua's home now. Killua is staying with him. Gon will protect Killua. As long as Killua is with him, Gon will take care of him. He'll spoil him and love him. Gon isn't going to let those scientists hurt Killua any longer. They're not going to damage him and make him scared.

Gon puts his chicken on a plate, turning off the stove and sitting on the couch. Gon waits for Killua to return, kicking his feet. It's hard thinking that just this morning he was miserable, Now he's all warm and he doesn't have to worry about Killua leaving. Killua has called this place his home.

Gon glances over when he hears a thump in the kitchen. The white cat has come back with a squirrel in its mouth, the cat has the squirrel by the neck, those black eyes dull and lifeless.

"Let me get you a plate. Are you going to eat that raw or do you want me to cook it somehow?" Gon walks over the kitchen, closing the window before getting a plate. He sets it down and Killua puts his kill on it. Those blue eyes narrow at him before Killua runs off into his bedroom. Soon after, Killua walks out in his human form, his tail waving behind him, those blue eyes locked on Gon.

"I'll just eat it as is. My stomach is better than yours." Killua grunts as he grabs the plate off the floor. Gon has to glance away from Killua as he bends down to get his clothes to put on. When every Gon sees his pale skin, it's hard to look away. There's something so alluring about Killua that he wants to touch him more and get closer. And that's okay, right? It's just when Killua is naked, Gon doesn't feel right getting these glimpse of him. "What's with you?" Gon blinks and looks over at Killua who is raising his eyebrow at him, fully clothed. "Does me eating something raw bother you?"

"No. It's fine. Let's eat." Gon smiles, snapping out of his thoughts, feeling more comfortable now Killua is dressed. They both sit down on the couch. Gon bows his head in prayer, he tries to do this when ever he remembers. Mito always taught him to be grateful.

"What are you doing?" Killua raises his eyebrow.

"I'm saying prayers. Some humans do this to give thanks for food." Gon smiles over at Killua whose tail is twitching behind him. His eyes light up and he nods his head.

"Religion. You humans believe some strange things. I've read the bible. It was one of the books we had to read in the lab. They wanted to see if we could form a religion by reading different scriptures. The beginning of the bible was amusing to read, it got boring closer to the end. I also remember reading something about the Jewish religion, but I don't remember what it was called...ah..." Killua's eyes narrow in his thinking. "What religion are you?"

"I don't really have a religion. I believe in God but I don't go to any church. I used to pray with Mito and give thanks for the good things in my life. I used to go to church before Mito died but now I just don't find the heart in going I guess. Except for Christmas. I always go to Christmas mass. Mito loved it so much, that I can't miss it." Gon pokes at his chicken before glancing over at Killua who is staring at him intently, those pupils getting bigger as if soaking in this new information. Gon smiles at him.

"Did you end up getting a religion from reading those things?"

"No." Killua grunts, shaking his head."They kept pushing it. They wanted me to believe in a higher power and they finally calmed down when I told them that out of all the higher powers, this God seemed okay. So they labeled me a partially successful christian." Killua rolls his eyes. "They just wanted to say they did something."

"Why did they try to get you into a religion?" Gon tilts his head.

"So we could be more 'human'. They're trying to form us and to give us morals. It was just a one time test. I don't really know what they were trying or why. They wanted to maintain some of our animal qualities but use it to make our human part better." Killua's tail flicks before he glances over at Gon.

"You're letting your food go cold."

"Oh, yeah." Gon chuckles, taking a piece of the chicken and eating it. "Killua are you more cat than human?"

"I'm a little more cat, is what the humans told me. The DNA is half and half but some of my tendencies are still cat like. They want to make us so we can blend in with the humans without raising suspicion. Of course, we can't get rid of our ears and tail so we have to take special precautions. I'm decent, but there's room for improvement." Killua glares darkly at his dead squirrel, his ears going back, his pupils becoming dilated as he scratches the couch. "I don't want to be more human." He hisses. "It sickens me enough as it is."

Gon watches the light leave Killua's eyes and his shoulders get so stiff. Gon frowns at this change, he reaches out, putting a hand on Killua's shoulder. He whips his head over towards him, baring his teeth. Gon just smiles and rubs Killua's shoulder gently, not breaking eye contact. After a while, Killua's eyes go back to normal and his ears perk back up so Gon moves up and rubs Killua's head a bit, getting him to purr.

"Eat your food, Killua! I'm sure you're hungry." Gon pulls his hand away, Killua leaning after him. He blinks before glaring down at his food for a moment. Killua grabs the squirrel and bites into it's stomach. Gon's eyes widen when Killua easily rips the stomach open, pulling out intestines, slurping them up like noodles.

Gon's stomach churns and he gags, covering his mouth. The smell is gross but seeing Killua eat intestines like that made him feel a little light headed. Killua doesn't' seem to notice as he keeps biting into the the squirrel, getting all the meat he can, his lips covered in blood. Gon looks forward and tries to eat his own food but he can hear the bones breaking and the drinking of blood next to him.

"Does it bother you?" Gon tenses, glancing over at Killua to see him licking his lips of the blood before licking his fingers, those blue eyes watching him intently. "You're all pale."

"It wasn't that...just when you slurped up the intestines, it made me a little sick."

"Have you never eaten an animal's intestines? It's pretty good." Killua's tail waves behind him but his ears flatten when Gon makes no move to eat some more. "You've lost your appetite?"

"I'll get it back." Gon waves his hand, trying to reassure Killua. "But is that safe for you? To just eat uncooked meat?"

"Uh, yeah? I mean I guess there's' more chances of getting diseases or whatever but I've always been fine. At the lab we used to have to hunt our own food. They'd set a deer loose and we would have to kill it. The enzymes in my mouth are a bit different than yours. It would probably get you really sick if you didn't cook your food." Killua throws away his plate that has some of the blood on it, watching as Gon gets up to wrap up his chicken and put it in the fridge for later.

"Yeah, I probably would." Gon shakes his head, looking over at Killua who is watching him intently like he always is. "I think you should brush your teeth though, and floss." Gon's eyes light up in realization. "Oh, no! You haven't been brushing your teeth have you? I completely forgot about getting you a toothbrush-"

"Oh, don't worry, I've been brushing my teeth. There's a toothbrush in your bathroom." Killua raises his eyebrow when Gon gets pale.

"Have you been eating animals when you go out, and then using that tooth brush to clean your teeth."

"Uh, yeah?"

"Killua, that's my toothbrush!" Gon whines, walking into the bathroom and looking at it. It doesn't look like it has anything on it, but he knows all the germs that are probably living it up on his toothbrush right now, and he's been brushing his teeth with it. "You're going to make me sick."

"I didn't have a tooth brush, and that one was laying out in the open." Killua's ears go back when he walks in and Gon looks unhappy. "I mean...I don't think you'll get sick." Killua mumbles, his tail moving around anxiously. "I've always shared a toothbrush with my family back at the lab so I wasn't really thinking about how it's different sharing it with a human...you'll be okay right?"

"I think so!" Gon's attitude changes when he can see Killua getting increasingly more anxious. He's starting to claw at his wall and by the way Killua is staring at him with wide eyes, Gon knows he's not even aware he's doing it. "It's fine Killua, don't worry about it. I'm going to get you a toothbrush and i'm going to get myself a new toothbrush. If I was going to get sick, I would have gotten sick already!"

Killua seems to take this in before his clawing stops and his tail slows down in it's moving. "It's kind of late but I think I can go to the store now to get us some toothbrushes and some more food." Gon glances at the time before looking at Killua whose ears have flatten.

"You're going out again?" Killua watches as Gon passes him, he follows Gon.

"Yeah, but I'll be right back." Gon smiles to reassure Killua. Killua glares at him for a moment before crossing his arms.

"I'm coming with you."

"Huh?"

"I said i'm coming with you."

"But you can't Killua, no one can see your ears and tail-" Gon's eyes widen when Killua's body starts to change before his very eyes. His body gets smaller, and smaller, his bones bending and reforming, his body covered in white hair and soon in a pile of the clothes Killua was wearing is the white cat. The cat jumps into Gon's arms, crawling up his shoulder with his claws, getting Gon to wince. Gon tilts his head at the cat who is now perched on his shoulder much like a pirate. "I see what you're trying to do, Killua." Gon chuckles, finding it adorable, his chest feeling warm. "But cats aren't allowed in stores."

The cat seems to think about this before he points a paw at Gon's big jacket.

"Meow." The cat's tail flicks in annoyance when Gon gives him a confused look. He grabs the jacket and puts it on, surprised when the cat moves down so he's hanging on Gon's chest, his nails hurting. Gon's eyes widen, it clicking into place. He zips up his jacket and it covers Killua's body, keeping him in place.

"This might work! But are you really okay in there?" Gon gushes when Killua pokes his head out, nodding at him. Gon can feel him purring and it's like a ball of warmth is on his chest now. "Then I guess you can come." Gon chuckles, grabbing his keys from off the hanger before he walks out of his apartment, shivering slightly from the chilly wind that caresses him. It's tolerable. More so with Killua warming him up. "So this is what we need Killua, you can help me remember everything! We need two toothbrushes, chicken, fish, milk, uhhh...turkey meat? I guess that's good for right now- ow!" Gon winces when Killua sticks his claw into Gon's chest through his shirt. "And chocolate." Gon quickly adds when he gets what Killua wants. Killua stops scratching him and Gon can rest easy. It's a bit dangerous having Killua like this.

There's a mini mart just down the street that Gon usually shops at. He doesn't have a car so it's very nice this store is so close. It's saved him a lot of trouble and money.

Killua stays still in his jacket and when he walks in, he can feel his face rewarm and he can feel his nose again. It's not too crowded. Just a couple of people shopping, trying to get last minute provisions. Gon walks to the freezers, getting the chicken and fish first, then he makes his way to get the rest of his things. Killua is quiet, and if not for the bundle of warmth and the extra weight, Gon may have forgotten he's there.

"Alright so...I got the chocolate and everything... I just need to get toothbrushes." Gon mumbles to himself as he walks to the isle with dental products. He grabs a normal green tooth brush. He looks at a couple before smiling when he sees one with cats on it. "Hey Killua, do you like this one?" Gon looks down his jacket, holding the toothbrush so Killua can look up and see it. He narrows his eyes and shakes his head. "Hmm...how about this one?" Gon grabs one that is blue. Killua stares at it a moment before nodding his head. "Okay, I'll get you that one!" Gon smiles, putting the toothbrush into his basket. He looks up only to blink when there's this woman who is staring at him with this strange expression. When Gon waves at her, she turns and quickly walks away.

"Huh." Gon doesn't let it bother him as walks to the front to get checked out. He just wants to get back home. His legs are starting to hurt and he's getting that anxious feeling he gets what he knows he has things to study. As Gon gets into line, the lady in front of him starts to sneeze. When her sneezing keeps persisting, Gon's eyes widen in realization and he quickly gets out of the line, going to another one. She may have been allergic to cats and Gon was giving her a reaction. Gon sighs in relief when he finds a line that only has two people in front of him.

"Gon!" Gon turns around, his eyes lighting up and he smiles.

"Oh, hey Retz! You're shopping too?" The long blonde beauty has just got in line behind Gon, her blue eyes alight in excitement from seeing him.

"Yeah, I just needed to get a couple of things. I have a problem with ice cream." She giggles, holding out her basket showing Gon it's filled with only a few things. Two of them being ice creams cartons.

"I love ice cream too. Even though it's freezing, I'll still eat it!" Gon chuckles with her, he can feel Killua start to shift under his jacket.

"I know!" Retz moves closer as the line moves up. "Did you do okay on your test?"

"Yeah I passed! How did you do?"

"I did okay...i got an 90-"

"90?! That's amazing, Retz! That's way better than okay! You're super smart!" Gon's eyes widen.

"N-Not really. It's all about reading the questions. You're smart too, Gon. I know you study hard." Retz smiles at Gon as they get up to the front. Gon puts his things down, the cashier ringing him out quickly. He pays the man and watches as Retz puts her things down.

"Thanks Retz. I do study hard. Those questions are hard though." Gon rubs the back of his head, Killua is starting to claw him and he can't help to wince when his claw gets a little too close to his nipple.

"Well..." Retz cheeks get a little red as she pays the man, getting her things. The two walk out of the store together, Retz stopping to turn towards him. "If you want, maybe you could come over my place to study for the next test! I could give you some of my test taking advice, if you want to."

"That sounds great Retz-" Gon starts only to be cut off when Killua suddenly pokes his head out of his jacket, his ears back, those blue eyes glaring at Retz. She blinks at this, only to chuckle.

"Gon! You didn't tell me you had a cat! Aww she was in your jacket the whole time? That's adorable." Retz reaches out to pet Killua, the cat hisses at her immediately.

"Killua, be nice." Gon gives Retz an apologetic smile when Retz looks dejected. "Don't mind him, Retz. He doesn't like most people."

"Well he seems to like you." Retz smiles again. "He's a pretty thing." Retz looks at Gon. "So...do you want to come over-"

Killua starts to freak out in his jacket, getting Gon to wince and to hold Killua away from his chest as much as he can. "Killua, what's wrong? I'm sorry, Retz. I'll talk to you in school tomorrow okay?"

"Okay, just let me know about the study date." Retz watches Gon runs away with Killua hissing and crying loudly in his jacket, her eyes wide. She frowns slightly and turns, walking away, those blue eyes turning to look down at the snow.

Only when Gon is a good distance away from Retz does Killua calm down. Gon marches into his apartment and shuts the door. He takes off his jacket, not caring Killua just flops down on the ground. He lands on his feet easily. "What was that for Killua?! That hurt." Gon's eyes widen when Killua suddenly turns into a human so fast that Gon falls on his butt, his eyes wide, staring up at Killua whose ears are back, his teeth bared and his fists gripped.

"I don't like her." Killua cross his arms, glaring darkly at the wall, his tail puffed up.

"Huh?" Gon frowns, not liking how that sneak peak of Killua's intimate parts made him feel a little too warm. He keeps his gaze towards his face that is contorted in disgust. "What's wrong with Retz?"

"What's not wrong with her? IT's so obvious she wants to mate with you. And her giggle is annoying. She has a nasty smell too. I do not approve of her." Killua growls. "And she was offering to 'study' but really she just wants a chance to get you alone so she can mate with you."

"What? Killua you've got it all wrong. Retz is my friend! She's trying to be a doctor just like me! She's just trying to help-"

"I smelled it on her. I'm sure it was lust. You're just too stupid and gullible to see that's what she's trying to do. Good thing I'm here to save the day." Killua nods to himself, his tail flicking and his face scrunching up as if he just remembered something.

"Scratching me up is saving the day?" Gon frowns when he takes off his shirt, seeing all the little cut marks he has.

"Yes. I stopped you from saying yes to her, didn't I?"

"Killua, Retz isn't bad-" Killua hisses at him. "and I wasn't going to take her up on her offer anyway. It's not anything against her, but I already study with Leorio and any of my extra time I want to spend with you."

Killua's glare falls and his ears perk up. Those blue eyes get brighter before he closes them and crosses his arms. "Well...G-Good." Killua stutters, Gon can't help to chuckle when his face gets redder. He looks so cute and he can hear he's purring. "Get off the floor." Killua grunts, grabbing Gon's arm and helping him get up. Gon blinks when Killua grabs his bags off the floor and brings them to the table. He starts to put things away without Gon. "Once this is done, you're going to rub my hair."

"Well, actually Killua I have some studying to do." Gon rubs the back of his head when Killua glares at him.

"You studied yesterday."

"I have to study everyday, or I'll fail."

"But I want my hair rubbed."

"But I need to study-"

"But I want my hair rubbed."

Gon's eyebrows furrow and he finds himself in a staring contest with Killua who is looking at him with this blank expression, just waiting for Gon to give in.

"I'm studying, after I study I can rub your hair!"

"Ugh!" Killua groans when Gon sits on the couch, pulling out his book to study. Killua glares at Gon from the kitchen. When Gon doesn't look at him, he gets on the table and glares at Gon. When Gon is still so absorbed in his book, Killua jumps from the table to the couch, perching on the top of the couch, glaring down at Gon and his book. When Gon still doesn't look at him, Killua flops down on Gon's books, glaring up at him.

"Killua." Gon sighs. "I know you're angry but it won't take long." Gon smiles but Killua doesn't look convinced, his ears back and his tail banging against the couch. "Oh! Look, hey, Killua!" Gon reaches down and grabs the mouse he had gotten him. Gon starts to move the mouse around in the air, Killua's annoyed look slowly starts to change, those pupils becoming blown out, right when Gon is sure Killua is going to attack his hand, he throws the mouse, Killua jumping off of him to run after it.

Killua pats at the mouse, chasing it when he hits it across the floor, rolling around till he grabs the mouse into his mouth. He blinks and spits it out. He touches it with his finger before he scowls, glaring over at Gon when he sees he's went back to his book.

"I see how it is Gon. Using tricks to distract me. Fine. I'll be in my space, get me when you're not boring" Killua huffs as he crawls over to the big box Gon had gotten him. He crawls into the box, giving Gon once lst glare when Gon gives him an apologetic smile.

"It won't be long Killua."

Killua hisses and then he's gone into the box, disappearing into the small space. Despite Killua being angry at him, Gon still finds the whole thing adorable. He chuckles, trying to focus back on his book but it's hard when he knows Killua is sulking in that box right now.

Gon bites at his pencil, speaking under his breath trying to understand this one concept. He hears a sound and he looks up to see that the box has gotten closer to him. Gon tilts his head before he looks back down at the book. Another sound, another sound, another sound. By the time Gon is fed up with looking at this book, The box is right in front of him.

"Killua." Gon chuckles, smiling fondly at the box. "I'm tired so...let's go to bed. I'll rub your hair there-"

"Finally" Killua pops his head out of the box, his ears perked up. Gon yawns, putting away his book before he stands up, Killua hoping out of the box, following him to the bed.

"Are you going to put on clothes?" Gon blinks when he sees Killua is still bare. Killua blinks and looks down himself like he didn't realize it.

"Yeah." Killua shrugs. "It doesn't really matter with you I guess. I trust that you won't do anything. We use to be naked at the lab. I didn't like it when the humans were around but around my family it wasn't so bad." Gon watches as Killua walks over to his dresser, digging through his clothes before pulling out a shirt green shirt. Killua puts that on and nothing for his underneath. The shirt covers his parts but any little bend and Gon would be able to see. Gon tears his eyes away, realizing he was staring at Killua's tail that was waving... and he'll say that was all he was staring at.

"I'm glad Killua. I don't want you thinking I'm like them-"

"You're nothing like them." Killua says quickly. He tenses up, his ears flattening. "I don't like humans. I don't want to be more human but...you are okay, Gon. I've been watching you for two weeks now. There's a part of me that still thinks you want something but...I think this is you. That is my observation. You're honest, kind, gullible, and will put your health at risk for the sake of others. So I won't think of you like them anymore. To me you are not human. You are not classified as them. You are Gon."

Gon stares at Killua with wide eyes, his chest feeling warm at those words spoken. He smiles brightly when Killua looks back at him. When Killua sees that bright face, he looks away quickly, his cheeks getting flushed. "Stop looking like that and hurry up and get ready for bed. I want my hair rubbed."

"Okay! We can brush our teeth together." Gon beams, his chest feeling tight, filled with these warm feelings. He grabs new boxers and walks into the bathroom with Killua following. Gon brushes his teeth with his new toothbrush, Killua standing next to him, doing the same thing. "I'm going to change now." Gon smiles at Killua who blinks at him.

"Okay so change." Killua's tail flicks and he stares at him intently.

"Well, I'm going to change in here-"

"Why?"

"Because I'm sure you don't want to see me naked-"

"I don't mind. You've seen me naked and this is my time. You said you wanted to spend all your extra time with me."

"Well, yeah, but..." Gon waits for Killua to understand but he just stares at him. Then again, Killua was a cat. Cats don't have any shame when it comes to staring at naked people, that much he learned from Mito's old cat that liked to watch him go to the bathroom and would get upset if he didn't let her in. Maybe it's a comfort thing? Or it makes Killua feel like they're closer? It is true Gon has seen Killua naked, so maybe it's only fair?

Gon flushes as he takes off his shirt. He feels warm when Killua keeps staring at him, his eyes not blinking as Gon takes off his pants, leaving him in nothing but his boxers. He takes a deep breath before he pulls down his boxers, stepping out of them quickly before pulling up his new boxers. He's never felt his face be this hot before.

"That wasn't so hard, see? You have no defects so I don't know why you were weird about it." Killua turns and walks the room, jumping into the bed, Gon walking out just in time to see a glimpse of pale, smooth skin of Killua's butt. Gon looks away quickly as Killua gets into the covers. "Come on! I want you to rub my hair."

"You've gotten really comfortable here." Gon smiles despite the strange feeling in his stomach as he walks over to Killua, turning off the lights before crawling into bed next to him. Killua wiggles his body closer, Gon's eyes widening when Killua lays his head on Gon's chest, curling into him. "Not too long ago, I couldn't sleep in my bed."

"Yeah, well, this place is my home now. You said you wanted me to stay and you're Gon, like I was saying. So that changes everything." Killua mumbles into his chest. "Besides, it's cold right now."

"I'm glad. I like seeing you comfortable here Killua. You've really made this place your home and that makes me really happy." Gon wraps his arms around Killua, starting to scratch behind Killua's ears. He purrs, nuzzling his chest.

Killua doesn't say anything, he just purrs against him, his nails pressing into his arm in the way that Gon knows he's really comfortable.

It's strange. Just this morning, Gon was sure he would be sleeping alone tonight, but here he is, with Killua in his arms purring. Gon thought it was all over, and he felt so cold, but now he feels so warm.

Now that this place is Killua's home, Gon will make sure he keeps him happy. He'll protect him and if those scientists come for him, Gon will fight them.

He wants to keep making Killua's eyes light up and he wants to see him smile. He wants to hear him purr and he wants to take care of him when he's hurt.

Gon finds his eyes slipping shut, his hands stilling in Killua's hair, his breathing becoming calmer. Killua curls into him more, their breathing becoming synced. Killua doesn't scream tonight. He doesn't have a night terror, they just stay curled up in each other, legs tangled together, a calmness between them, a relief.

It's so warm.

* * *

 **Next Chapter! Thanks again to my beta reader** Anathemal **! Who makes my life a lot easier! Haha. Thank you for the reviews. Til next time.**


	5. Chapter 5

"Thanksgiving?" Killua raises his eyebrow, his ears twitching on his head when Gon had let his head thump against the kitchen table, the man groaning. "Why did you suddenly scream that?"

"B-Because I completely forgot! I've been studying for these tests and playing with you, and Leorio said something about it just yesterday! Thanksgiving is in a couple of days! I need to get things ready!" Gon stands up quickly, his eyes wide in panic as he rushes into the living room, Killua following after him with those blue eyes watching him closely.

"What do you need to get ready for? What's Thanksgiving?" Killua glares when Gon starts getting on his jacket, mumbling something to himself. "Oi! Answer me!" Killua crosses his arms, his shout got Gon to tense and look over at him.

"I need to get some things to make mac and cheese. I'm not the best cook and it's the only thing I remember how Mito made it." Gon rubs the back of his head. "Mito used to host Thanksgiving all the time and she would make the most delicious food. She didn't have a recipe book though, she had everything in her head. She was going to write them down for me but she never got to it. The mac and cheese is the only one I have memorized." Gon smiles sheepishly. "Leorio and Kurapika hold Thanksgiving at their place now. They make most of the food so I need to bring the mac and cheese. They're counting on me for that much."

"Ugh, Leorio and Kurapika." Killua wrinkles his nose, his tail waving behind him. "So this Thanksgiving has something to do with food? Sounds fun to me." Killua licks his lips, smirking slightly.

"It's more than just food! We make food as a way to celebrate all the things we have. Thanksgiving is about being thankful for everything you have! It's about family and sharing a meal with all the people you love." Gon smiles softly, thinking about it. Killua stares at Gon's smile before his eyebrows furrow.'

"That sounds lame." Killua rolls his eyes. "Something cheesy. I'm sure this Thanksgiving is just about you humans eating."

"Many probably see it as that, but it's eating food while being thankful!" Gon chuckles when Killua wrinkles his nose.

"And we're going to have to do this with Leorio and Kurapika?"

"Yeah! It will be fun Killua. They're not bad people."

"Ugh." Killua's tail starts to flick in annoyance but when Gon walks over to the front door, his ears perk up. "You're leaving?"

"I have to go get some ingredients for the mac and cheese." Gon smiles back at Killua who is watching him with his pupils getting bigger. 'You want to come?"

Killua's ears perk up and he nods quickly. He turns into a cat, his clothes becoming a pile in the floor before that white cat jumps towards him, Gon catching him easily, smiling fondly at the small animal that came into his life and has made it so much warmer.

It's been about two weeks since Killua had decided to make this place his home. Since then, Gon has come home with Killua rubbing himself all on his furniture, walls, carpets, and anything he can find. Killua has been sleeping with him in bed, and he hasn't been screaming or having night terrors.

Every night Gon has been brushing his hair and then they cuddle together in bed, most of the time he wakes up with Killua away from him, but recently he's woken up with Killua still in his arms, his tail wrapped around his arm. Killua has been hunting more often, and when Gon gets home from school, Killua will be quick to get in his lap and to lay on his books or anything that he's trying to work with. When Gon touches Killua, he's been relaxing a lot sooner, not tensing up as much; and his purrs come much easier.

Killua has gotten much closer to him. Maybe too close. There are times Gon has to remind Killua to put some clothes on because once he turns from a cat to a human, he won't put them on immediately and then will try to get close to him.

Gon wouldn't mind if his body didn't react strangely. He would get too hot sometimes and then he'd get this bad taste in his mouth and he'd just feel disgusting. He wants to touch him and more than he should. Gon doesn't want to be like those scientists. He's trying to be strong and get rid of whatever weird thoughts are going through his head.

"Meow." Killua complains, getting Gon to blink out of his thoughts, looking down at Killua who is questioning him with his eyes.

"Sorry, I spaced out." Gon gives him a smile before he grabs his jacket, putting it on, before zipping Killua into it. He walks out of his apartment, humming a tune, the freezing weather not bothering him like it use to. "I need to get these things now or I would forget about it and then I wouldn't be able to make the mac and cheese. I have a test coming up and finals are around the corner. The semester is almost over and then I'll have a month break."

Killua's eyes brighten and Gon can feel him purr against his chest.

"I'm happy about it too but first I have to pass these tests. I can't fail any of them, or I'm going to fail this semester." Gon sighs, not noticing when some people give him strange looks as he walks down the street to the store. He's so used to talking with Killua, that he hasn't realized how weird this must look to others, a man just talking into his jacket.

Killua doesn't respond to him but Gon knows he's listening

.

Gon is so happy he has some extra money this month. He's going to buy Killua some chocolate but he needs to do this first. He walks into the store, rushing over to the section that he knows will have everything he needs. Noodles, milk, cheese, sour cream, and some bread crumbs. Killua doesn't make any sounds, nor does he move much as Gon pays and walks back into the cold.

"I got everything."

"Meow." It's so cute when Killua meows. Gon can't help to gush, smiling at Killua like an idiot, getting the cat to hiss at him and stick his claws into his chest.

"Ow! It's not my fault you're so cute Killua-ow!" Gon winces, the walk back to his apartment not as comfortable as the walk to the store. Once Gon is back in his apartment, he's so happy to open up his jacket and let Killua free. The white cat' lands on his feet, his tail flicking in annoyance. " You're so mean Killua." Gon pouts as he closes the door and locks it, Killua turning into a man right before his eyes.

Gon swallows when he gets a glimpse of that smooth, muscular back, keeping himself from looking any further. Killua's skin is flawless in Gon's eyes. So pale and light, like a porcelain doll, something vulnerable to it, but those muscles show power. There are some light scars on Killua's back where Gon is sure they did painful things to him. Gon hasn't asked him about them, he doesn't need to. He knows they tortured him. He knows the horrible things they did. The scars make Killua more beautiful, a testimony of how strong he really is; and a reminder to Gon that he shouldn't be feeling like this, shouldn't be getting warm or his heart beating so fast from just seeing his bare back and how Killua's long white hair hits his shoulders.

If Gon reacts to him, he's no better than those scientist.

"I told you not to call me cute." Killua suddenly turns around, a glare on his face but it looks more like a pout, his ears flatten and his cheeks slightly flushed. Gon flushes from how cute Killua looks but when he gets a death glare from Killua, he decides to keep his mouth shut.

"I guess I'll get back to studying." Gon rubs the back of his head, changing the subject. Killua's ears perk up as Gon walks pass him, putting away the food before sitting back down at the kitchen table that has his books and everything.

"You've been studying all day today." Killua's ears flatten when Gon gets into his book. Killua walks till he's next to him. He waits a moment before he sits down in the chair next to him. "But I guess you have to right? You said you had a test coming up and then something about a final test?"

"Yeah. It's going to suck so much." Gon groans just thinking about it. Gon looks over at Killua, only to swallow when he sees his bare muscular chest and those slightly pink nipples that are erect from the cold. Gon looks at his book quickly. "Killua you should get dressed. It's cold."

"I guess so. I'm borrowing your clothes." Killua grunts, standing up and walking away. Gon makes sure he keeps staring at his book. Study. Focus on studying. He needs to know these disorders.

After a couple of minutes of Gon talking to himself as he's reading the book about bipolar disorder, Killua comes back dressed in his pants and short sleeved shirt. He sits down at the table again, his tail waving behind him. Gon keeps looking at his book, biting his pen, his eyebrows furrowing at all the content he has to know and then he tries to think of how he can apply this to taking care of people with these disorders.

Gon blinks when he feels like he's being stared at. He glances over at Killua to find the man staring at him, or more so how he's biting the pen. Killua's ears perk up in alarm when gon caught him staring and he looks away quickly, his ears going back, a slight flush to his face.

"I'm sorry Killua, you're probably bored. You could go outside while I'm doing this if you want." Gon smiles. Killua shakes his head.

"I'm fine. It's too cold out there and I already went out to hunt."

Gon nods his head and goes back to studying. He can feel Killua stare at him again. This isn't anything new though. Those strange blue eyes have been watching him closely since the beginning. Gon has been finding that Killua has been staring at him more intently now. When Gon studies, and he knows he has to, Killua will just get close to him and watch him. It makes Gon want to interact with him but he needs to focus.

Gon isn't sure how much time goes by, but he is starting to understand the drugs for bipolar when there's a knock at his door. Killua's ears had perked up right before the knock, his pupils getting blown out before he runs into Gon's room, shutting the door, hiding himself. Gon raises his eyebrow, standing up and walking to his front door. Who could be here at this hour? It's about to be 10 o'clock at night.

Gon opens the door, his eyes widening slightly when he sees an old lady standing at his door, she's shivering, her eyes big and watery.

"I-I'm sorry to be bothering you at this hour but, I can't rest until I find my baby." She shivers.

Your baby? Your baby is missing?" Gon's eyebrows furrow and he's about to offer for her to come in-

"Yes. My cat. Have you seen him anywhere?" The woman holds out a picture. Gon shows nothing on his face but his stomach twists when he sees the white cat in the photo. Gon knows those blue eyes anywhere.

"I'm so sorry. I haven't." Gon frowns when the woman frowns deeply.

"Please call me if you do. He ran out and now I can't find him. He's the only company I have." She hands Gon a card and he takes it. He nods his head, his stomach still churning.

"I understand. I will call you if I see him."

"God bless." She smiles and walks away, Gon closing the door.

Once the door is shut, Gon glares darkly. That's low. If Gon didn't know Killua's situation, he would have felt bad for that woman. If that woman had come before Killua could change into his human form and talk to him...Gon would have given him to her. But she's working for the lab. She has to be. They're looking for Killua, trying to draw him out. Gon grips his fists.

"They're looking for me." Gon's eyes widened and he turns around to see Killua standing at his bedroom doorway, his ears are back and his teeth bared. "They probably searched all over where I left the tracking device and now they're spreading their search. Using an old woman huh? They most likely think I'm hiding in someone's home because of how cold it is. They probably wouldn't think I would expose myself to someone so they're using an old cat lover to try to get who ever I am hiding with to spill where I am."

"They're smart. I was feeling bad for her till I saw your picture. Then I knew she was working with the lab."

"You did good. You didn't seem suspicious." Killua's tail twitches behind him. "But since she came, that means they're around here, looking for me. The fuckers don't give up."

"Maybe you shouldn't go outside for awhile." Gon frowns, feeling anxious knowing that. He doesn't want them hurting Killua anymore. He doesn't want them having him.

"Yeah, Maybe. I need to lay low. That old lady is just the surface, They're hiding about, looking for me." Killua glares at the wall, his shoulders are all tense and his pupils are pin point. "Those bastards won't just quit." He snarls, gripping into the wall with his nails.

Gon watches this a moment, looking over at his books before looking back at Killua. "Hey, let's go to bed. I'm going to rub your hair in till you fall asleep."

Killua glances at Gon before he sighs. "You don't need to make me feel better. I'm fine, idiot. I'm just pissed. You're the one who should be worried." Killua stares at Gon completely. "Are you scared?" he asks when Gon starts to shake.

"No. I'm angry. They won't leave you alone and I don't like that look they caused on your face. I don't care what they do to me, I'm going to make sure they never get their hands on you again." Gon's eyes burn with a fire. Killua's eyes widen slightly, his ears perking up and his shaking dying down.

"You should care more about yourself. What if the scientists came and I just left your ass here? How can you trust me like that, how can you say something like that?"

"I would rather you run away." Gon says honestly, Killua's ears flattening. "I don't care what happens to me. I told you that. I don't' have to trust you to stay with me. I'm going to protect you."

Killua's ears stay flatten before he closes his eyes, looking away from Gon. "Even now, I don't understand you but..." Killua's eyes open, those eyes a soft blue, glossed over. "They won't know I'm here. You'll be fine. Just don't do anything stupid." Killua turns and walks into his bedroom, jumping into the bed. He holds out his arms, his eyes closed. "Come on. You said you wanted to go to bed."

"Yeah." Gon smiles, walking into the bedroom, leaving his books out. Gon takes off his shirt and pants, staying in his boxers, Killua watching him without any shame, those blue eyes staring at him so intently.

Gon crawls into bed, getting into Killua's arms, sighing when Killua wraps his arms around him and he nuzzles his head on his chest. They shift to get comfortable, Killua's legs getting tangled with his, his tail wrapping around his waist. Gon moves up so he can reach up and run his hands through Killua's hair and scratch behind his ears. He wants to help him relax, his shoulders are so tense.

Gon smiles when Killua licks his cheek, his purring starting to come, his shoulders relaxing slowly.

"I don't know how to explain this..." Killua says after awhile of the two cuddling. His ears flatten when he looks at Gon, his eyes are closed, Killua's warmth and his purring has lured him to sleep. Killua stares at him for the longest time before he licks Gon's cheek once more, close to his lips. "You...make me happy. You've made me forget about the lab. The way you treat me is...You said you'll protect me, but I don't know if I can protect you. I don't want to leave though. This is my home." Gon smiles in his sleep, Killua's eyes softening, his ears flatten.  
"I don't understand it. This anxiousness I have of the lab finding me and you. I wonder if I would ditch you if it came down to it. I suggested it, but instead of denying it, you said it would be okay if I would just leave you. I don't understand it but..." Killua touches his chest, biting his lip. "I don't get these feelings that you're making me feel. It's not like hunger or fear. It's not hate. I don't get it. I don't get you but..." Killua nuzzles his head against Gon's head. "I want to stay with you."

Gon pulls Killua closer and Killua lets him, purring, closing his eyes and enduring whatever this feeling is in his chest.

It feels so warm.

* * *

For the first time in a couple of weeks, Gon is woken up by a high pitched scream. Gon's eyes snap open, He sits up In bed, his fuzzy mind clearing up quickly when he hears another scream, the blankets being ripped from him.

"Don't! Let Go...!...Gon!" Killua is tossing, trashing in the bed, the covers being tangled around him. His ears are back and his teeth bared, sweat dripping down his face.

"Killua! Wake up! It's a dream! I'm here Killua!" Gon grabs Killua, shaking him, raising his voice to be louder than his screams. Killua's breath hitches, his ears flattening, grinding his teeth. "Killua!" Gon winces when he jerks again, hIs hand coming up from out of the blankets and striking forward, his nails getting him good on his arm. "Killua!-"

Gon's eyes widen when Killua whimpers, biting his lip to the point that he draws blood. Gon grabs Killua's jaw, trying to reduce his biting power, shaking Killua a bit harder. "Killua!" Gon is starting to get panicked. It's never been this hard to wake Killua up from a nightmare. Also usually Killua fights back more than this. Gon is shaking him and all he's doing Is trembling, his lips quivering.

"Killua-" Gon's eyes widen when Killua's eyes snap open, those blue eyes are so dull, his pupils look like a snake's, long and thin. His ears perk up, his trembling stopping. Before Gon can even react, Killua cuts through the blanket, tackling Gon on the bed, pinning him on his back, Killua's legs on either side of his waist on the bed, his hands next to his head, boxing him in. "Killua." Gon tries again, knowing when he's like ths, Killua isn't really up. He saw this look the first time he had woken him up from his nightmare. If he's not careful, Killua could try to kill him.

Killua stares at him from on top of him, those eyes don't gain any light but those pupils get slightly bigger. He leans closer, his white locks, the color of snow, brush against Gon's cheeks. Killua is so close their noses are almost touching, those blue eyes unblinking. Gon swallows, feeling nervous and it's not because he's afraid, no. Killua is too close. Gon fights through these strange sensations and just stares Killua down, letting the man sniff his face, hoping this will wake him up.

Killua pulls away suddenly, Gon sighs in relief. "Killua are you up-" Gon's eyes widen when Killua grabs him and turns him over on his stomach, shoving his head into the mattress when Gon tried to get up, pinning him on his stomach. "Killua-" Gon presses against Killua, trying to get him off but Killua just presses him more into the bed, a growl leaving the man's lips. Gon uses more force this time, and he's able to bump Killua off but Killua is fast. This time he grabs Gon's arm and presses it up on Gon's back, getting him to wince and to still, for every time he tries to move, Killua yanks his arm up causing him severe pain. "Killua it's me." Gon stops fighting against Killua. He feels Killua's tail brush against his thigh, it's a nice gesture, contradicting what Killua is doing to him right now.

Killua doesn't respond. Soon Gon feels his sharp nails on his back, traveling lower before they stop at his boxers. He hisses, Gon's body jerking in alarm when Killua drags hs nail down his boxers, he can hear the fabric tear. "Killua! I don't have many boxers! Ow!" Gon grinds his teeth when Killua yanks on his arm again. Killua gets on top of him, Gon's stomach does a flip, an alarm going off on his head when Killua starts to...grind his hips into Gon's now bare bottom. "K-Killua it's me!" Gon's voice raises a bit higher than he would like when Killua bites into his shoulder, his hips snapping forward roughly. Gon's face gets hot, his heart hammering in his chest, he has to grip the bed, his teeth grinding as Killua continues to pleasure himself using his ass. He can hear Killua's quiet moans and every once in a while Killua will lean in and take a big wiff of his hair.

It's just like a dog humping your leg. Just like a dog humping your leg. Gon repeats in his head. All he needs to do is wake Killua up. This isn't Killua. But Gon finds he can't move, and he's starting to sweat. Killua's sounds are doing shameful things to him and if this continues, Gon is going to be forced to accept something that has been bothering him for awhile.

"Killua, stop!" Gon uses all the strength he can muster, bucking Killua off when his grip on his arm had loosened up. Gon shoves Killua, the man falling off the bed with a thud. Gon takes deep breaths, getting ready to fight Killua if he has to.

"Ugh..." Killua groans, his head can be seen now that's he's sitting up. He rubs his head, his ears flattened.

"Killua?" Gon questions cautiously. Killua's ears perk up and he looks at Gon, those eyes back to normal. They're light and blue and those pupils look human.

"Gon." Killua blinked when he looks around. "Why am I on the floor? And the blanket is all ripped up..." Killua frowns when he looks at Gon and sees the cut on his arm and the way Gon is holding that same arm with a slight wince on his face. His eyes widen when he sees the bite on Gon's shoulder. "I've wounded you." Killua stands up quickly, getting on the bed, crawling over towards him.

"N-No it's fine Killua. You were having a nightmare. It must have been a really bad one too. It took a lot to wake you up. I ended up kicking you off the bed." Gon sighs in relief when he sees it's really Killua and he's finally awake.

"A nightmare?-" Killua's ears go back and he starts to sweat, looking down at his nails. "Oh."

"It's Okay Killua. It was just a dream. They can't hurt you anymore." Gon's eyes get that fire and he wraps his arms around Killua, pulling him closer, running his hand through his hair like he's been doing for awhile now.

"...The dream was...they were...to you..." Killua's voice is a whisper, his body so tensed up.

"They were doing something to me?" Gon blinks, pulling away to look at Killua who is sweating slightly. He nods, his ears flattening. "Those sick bastards." Killua growls, digging his nails into the bed. He moves closer, laying his head against Gon's chest. "I don't want to talk about it... I don't want to think about it." Killua looks up at Gon. "Sorry about the damage. I thought I was over it." Killua licks at his shoulder, his tail wrapping around his ankle.

"Killua you don't have to apologize. This is nothing. If you don't want to talk about it, that's fine. But know I wouldn't go down without a fight. Everything is going to be okay. I promise." Gon nuzzles Killua's head, scratching the back of Killua's head. Killua purrs softly, kneading his hands into Gon's chest, getting him to wince slightly. "I'm going to clean my wounds. I'll stay up till you go back to sleep." Gon wiggles his way out of Killua's hold, standing up, flushing when he realizes he no longer has his boxers. He glances back at the boxers that are ripped and left on the bed.

"I cut your boxers?" Killua's eyebrows furrow.

"Yeah you were cutting everywhere. You were really thrashing." That's not a complete lie. Gon grabs some more boxers, putting them on before walking over the bathroom. Killua gets up and follows after him into the bathroom, watching as he gets his kit out and starts to clean his shoulder and the cut on his arm. Killua frowns when he winces. "Don't make that face Killua." Gon smiled softly over at his friend. "It's nothing. They'll be healed soon."

"I guess." Killua's tail flicks, watching how Gon wraps himself up, those pupils getting bigger before he closes his eyes for a moment. He opens them, his tail waving behind him. "Did I do anything weird?"

Gon doesn't stop till he's bandaged himself up. He smiles over at Killua with his eyes closed. "No. You were just thrashing and screaming. The dream was bad for you." Gon can't tell Killua about the last part. Killua wasn't himself so Gon doesn't place any blame on him. Killua doesn't need to feel any worse than he already does. Gon can see how his ears are flattening, and how he's looking at his wounds. Killua cares that he hurt him. He doesn't like it. Nothing happened back there. It was like a dog humping a leg, harmless. Gon doesn't need to say anything.

"Oh." Killua's eyebrows furrow, following after Gon as he lays back in bed. Killua sits at the edge of the bed, seeming unsure to get closer.

"Killua I'm fine. Come here so I can cuddle you." Gon chuckles when he gets the immediate twitching of Killua's ears and the slight flush of his cheeks.

"You're so needy." Killua huffs but he crawls over to Gon without much restraint and relaxes in Gon's hold when he wraps his arms around him.

"I guess so. I'm needy when it comes to Killua." Gon teases, smiling when Killua nuzzles his head against his, purring.

"Damn straight. As soon as you come home you're petting me." Killua grunts like he's annoyed but Gon knows better. When Gon comes home from school, Killua is waiting for him, almost staring at him expectantly. His eyes would light up as soon as Gon shows him some affection. Gon isn't the only one who is needy but he won't say that.

" I can't help it. Killua is too cute not to pet-"

"Oi!" Killua pitches his cheek, Gon chuckling despite the pain from Killua's eye twitching in irritation. Gon yawns mid chuckle, Killua's ears perking up.

"Mmm Killua, don't worry I'll stay up." Gon hugs Killua closer, rubbing his hair and scratching behind the ear.

There's silence between them for the longest time. Gon is sure Killua is asleep and he's about to allow himself to go back to sleep-

"If you told me to sleep on the couch I wouldn't be offended you know. I don't know if 'll have another nightmare-"

"it's fine Killua. I want you to be here. I want to make sure I'm there to comfort you and to tell you it's not real. I don't want you to sleep on the couch. I like Killua being right next to me." Gon mumbles sleepily, rubbing his cheek against Killua's, feeling the warmth there. "I wouldn't be able to sleep without you."

"...So needy." Gon doesn't see how Killua's eyes have brighten or the way his lps have wobbled up into a smile. Soon Gon finds himself being tangled in Killua's limbs and to his surprise, he feels Killua's hands in his hair. He opens his eyes, not expecting it but after awhile of Killua gently scratching his head, his eyes get half lidded.

"mm that feels good." Gon yawns. "You don't have to Killua-"

"Just shut up and enjoy." Killua grumbles. Gon's hands start to still in Killua's hair as he keeps scratching his head, the warmth of Killua so close and his gentle touch luring him away. Gon's breathing stills, the sting of his wounds fading away and all he can feel is Killua's touch and all he can hear is his purr.

Killua doesn't have another nightmare that night.

* * *

"I'm pretty sure I failed." Gon groans, rubbing his head against the table like that would comfort him in some way. He closes his eyes tightly, the headache is fierce from having to work through all those problems and thinking about all the possibilities. He tries to pick the first thing that comes to mind but when he does that he feels like it's too easy and then he just causes more anxiety for himself.

"I'm done. I'm not going to even think about it. I didn't study like I should of and this is what I get. Of course the test that I slack on will be the one that is hard as shit." Leorio puts his hands up in surrender, a frown on his lips, his eye twitching. He takes a deep breath before he looks over at Gon who is still sulking on the desk. "Now that the test is over... I need to talk to you about something."

"Huh?" Gon snaps out of his depression, his eyes opening and he sits up to look at his friend who is scratching his cheek. "You need to talk to me about something?"

"Yeah. I didn't want to say something before the test because it would just stress you out more." Leorio thinks for a moment. "Last night some old woman came to our apartment. She was looking for a cat that looked a lot like Killua. I didn't say anything to her, I took her number but I wanted to talk to you before I did anything-"

"Killua is my cat, now." Gon tenses up, his eyes widening. Crap. He didn't even think about Leorio or Kurapika who have saw Killua if they would mention it to the old woman. He's glad that they kept it from her. "I'm sure Killua isn't who she's looking for."

" I don't know Gon. It looked a lot like him and you said you found Killua-" Leorio eyebrows furrow, Gon is already coming up with an argument in his head to defend his side-

"That woman isn't looking for Killua." Gon and Leorio eyes widen, their heads turning over to look at Retz who is standing at their desk. There's bags under her eyes and a deep frown on her lips.

"Uh..." Leorio blinks at how Retz's eyes shake slightly.

"She came to my house last night as well. She showed me the picture that looked like your Cat Gon but I didn't tell her I saw him. I wasn't sure if he was the cat she was looking for so I just took her number as well. I was a little concerned with such an old woman walking outside at night so I watched her from the window walk over to my neighbors house." Retz is speaking quickly. Gon has never seen her so worked up, so flustered. "My neighbor loves cats. She has plenty of them and I know she has a cat that looks like the one in the picture. I watched my neighbor and the woman talk, and then she walked into her house. The thing is, a little while after she went in, she came out. I didn't think much of it till this morning when my neighbor didn't come out to get her mail like she always does." She swallows. "I knocked on her door, there was no reply. I Got so worried that I used her spare key that she keeps outside...I found at the kitchen table, dead, with pills scattered everywhere. When I called the police, they decided it was a suicide by overdose but I know that isn't right. Her white cat was gone. That woman did something to my neighbor, she killed her!" Retz grips her fists, the whole class staring at her. "No one let her in your home. Don't say you've seen the cat. Something is strange about her."

Retz's eyes get watery.

By the end of Retz's story, Leorio's face has gotten pale and his body is tensed up. Most of the class has also gotten pale.

"Dude she was at my house last night too!"

"I could have died?"

"That's crazy."

"This is why I don't have cats. Crazy ass bitches trying to kill you over some cats."

"I knew I felt a little weird about her!" Lerio grabs Gon by the shoulder and starts shaking him. "I could have killed you if I told her about Killua! Man I should know better than to trust old women after that movie the visit!"

"I'm sorry Retz." Gon frowns at Retz, knowing she's shaken up from seeing her neighbor's dead body.

"I'm glad that you didn't tell her about my cat. There's no telling what she would have tried to do." Gon feels an anger build. He just doesn't understand. Why would they kill that woman? Why would they take the white cat if it wasn't Killua? Were they confused?

"But is it possible that your neighbor maybe did this to herself?" A classmate speaks up. Retz glares at them.

"No. I don't believe she would." Retz looks at Gon for a moment before she takes a deep breath. "Just be careful Gon. I was worried to come to school today because I wasn't sure if you would have let her inside. You are so nice. I was so relieved to see that you're okay." Retz smiles softly before she turns and walks away quickly.

"You don't have to worry about me Retz but thank you." Gon smiles back at her.

"She is so into you it's not even funny." Leorio groans, tapping his fingers against the table. "Why aren't you taking her out again?"

" I don't really have time for a relationship. Besides, I have Killua at home. He demands the rest of my free time." Gon smiles fondly. Leorio watches him with this confused expression before shaking his head.

"I will never understand you. You choose a cat over a beautiful girl. I worry about you sometimes." Gon gives him this grin and Leorio chuckles, ruffling his hair. "You're so strange. You still having Thanksgiving with us right?"

"Of course! I'm going to be bring Killua." Gon smiles, Lerio sighs.

"Ugh. Fine. I should have saw that coming." Leorio's eyes brighten. "You can finally tell Kurapka why you're going to be my best man and not his."

"Well-" Gon averts his gaze, knowing he's going to be pulled in their argument like he always is. The professor comes back in and all the chatter stops.

Gon has dodged a bullet but it will come back to get him.

Gon frowns, not able to focus when he thinks of Killua home alone. That old woman is still around. The people from the lab are looking for him. It makes him anxious. He taps his fingers against the desk, wanting to run home as soon as he can. Even though Retz doesn't think that woman is looking for Killua, Gon knows she is. He feels it. He doesn't understand why that woman would have harmed that innocent person but Gon knows she's in with the scientist. They want to harm Killua. They want to harm anyone it seems.

As a doctor, as Killua's protector, he'll keep him safe. Gon promised he wouldn't have to worry about anything. Gon wants to keep Killua warm, fed, and happy. He wants to be a healer.

Gon wants to be a doctor to be a lifesaver after all. He won't fail Killua when he knows he can save him, when he can do things for him.

Gon won't let those scientists have him.

* * *

"Killua, I'm home." Gon pants, out of breath from running all the way from school back to his apartment. Gon's face is so numb and his chest hurts when ever he breathes like his lungs are trying to keep from being frozen. His eyes widen slightly as he closes the door, catching Killua in the kitchen, flipping a filet of fish in a pan.

"Oh you're home a bit earlier." Killua glances at the clock before he grabs a plate that already has some hot, cooked fish on it. He walks over to Gon who is still staring at him with bewilderment. "I made you lunch." Killua mumbles, glancing off to the side before his ears perk up and he looks at Gon closely.

"You're out of breath, have you been running? Did something happen?" Killua tenses up-

"No! I was just worried about you so I rushed home and...wow you really made me fish!" Gon's eyes widen as he takes in the perfectly cooked salmon. "You knew how to cook all this time?"

"No. I learned by watching you. It wasn't difficult." Killua grunts, his tail waving behind him as he walks back to the pan. "Mine is almost finished. If you want to eat together, wait." Killua flips the fish.

"You didn't have to run all the way over here idiot. I can take care of myself."

"I know but I still worry." Gon sits on the kitchen table, placing the plate down, taking a deep breath.

"Apparently that woman from last night went around to everyone asking about you. Even to Leorio and Kurapika." Killua's eyes widen and he whips his head over, his pupils getting blown out. "Don't worry! They didn't tell her about you." Killua calms down but his ears go back.

"They covered a lot of ground in one night." Killua mumbles, flipping his fish again, his tail flicking in annoyance.

"Yeah..." Gon frowns down at his fish, debating on whether he should tell Killua about them killing a woman.

"What's wrong?" Gon blinks, looking over at Killua who is staring at him intently, his ears perked up.

"Nothing really it's just..." Gon can't get away from those blue eyes so he decides to just come clean.

"Retz told me-"

"Who's Retz?"

"The blonde girl you don't like-"

"Ugh. Alright, what did she tell you?" Killua glares at the pan.

"She told me she saw that woman go into her neighbor's house. That woman left and when Retz went to check on her neighbor, she was dead and her white cat that sort of looks like you gone." Gon watches as Killua's demeanor changes. "Do you know why they would take that cat? And why they would hurt that woman?"

"They took the cat because it could have been me. Gon, I can change my body, what makes you think I can't change my eye color?" Killua turns around, his blue eyes flashing purple and then green then back to blue.

"Whoa!" Gon's eyes brighten in amazement.

" I just can't change the color of my fur. I don't have that control yet. My brother can change his appearance easily." Killua mumbles, turning away from those eyes that are admiring him shamelessly.

"So they will take any white cat and they will do anything to get them too."

"The cops said that she killed herself by overdosing on pills-"

"They poisoned her and set it up to look that way. It's a classic, 'oh it's suicide' trick." Killua rolls his eyes. "that woman definitely killed her. I wouldn't be surprised if some of the cops are in on it." Killua hisses as he turns off the stove and puts his fish on a plate. He walks over to sit next to Gon at the table, his ears back. "They're smart. So they probably won't look for me long here. They'll move on to the next town quickly. So as long as everyone keeps their mouth shut, we should be alright."

"Did she come around when I was gone?"

"No. No one did. It was quiet." Killua watches as Gon sighs in relief.

"Good. Retz has been telling everyone not to let the old woman into their home or to say they have or seen a cat."

"So she's good for something." Killua grunts, glaring at his fish again.

"She's good for a lot of things Killua." Gon sighs when Killua's ears go back and his tail hits the chair in irritation.

"Whatever. I know for a fact I have more skills than her." Killua taps his fingers against the table.

"That you do. You can even cook! And you learned by just watching me. You're incredible Killua."

Gon chuckles, reaching over to scratch behind Kilua's ear. His eyes light up, his ears perking up and his purr is immediate.

"It wasn't anything." Killua mumbles, closing his eyes but his cheeks have slightly dusted and he leans into Gon's touch. Gon pulls away his hand, Killua's eyes open up and look at him. When Killua sees Gon has his eyes closed and his hands out like he does when he prays for his food, Killua glares at him a moment before he reaches over and puts his hand in Gon's.

"Huh?" Gon opens his eyes, looking over at Killua whose ears twitch.

"Prayers are normally done by all that are eating at the table. Yes? I've been researching on your computer while you've been gone." Killua stares at him seriously.

"Well, yeah. You don't have to pray with me, but it's nice." Gon smiles and interlaces their fingers. Killua stares at him as Gon bows his head, Killua doing the same but keeping one eye open to watch Gon.

"What are you doing when you bow your head?"

"I'm just saying thank you."

"So...thank you?"

"Yup!" Gon leans up and lets go of Killua's hand. He rubs his fingers through Killua's hair before he beams. "Let's eat!" Gon starts to dig into the fish, closing his eyes, enjoying the fish that isn't burnt. "thank you so much Killua." Gon smiles at Killua with the brightest eyes. Killua's tail twitches and he shoves most of the fish into his mouth.

"Don't expect it all the time." Killua mumbles but those eyes are lighter. Gon likes seeing that light. "I was just bored so I decided to be productive."

"Whatever the reason, I'm grateful." Gon finishes his meal quickly, rubbing his lips clean.

"Let me guess, you gotta study now?" Killua yawns, watching as Gon stands up and takes their plates to the sink.

"Nope." Gon can't help his smile when Killua's ears perk up and he stands up.

"Really? No studying?"

"Nope. I get a little break for Thanksgiving. I don't have school till next week-"

"seriously?!" Killua says a little too loudly. He flushes when Gon looks at him and he averts his gaze, rubbing the back of his head. "T-That's cool." Killua tries to chill himself out but Gon saw how bright his eyes had gotten, how excited he looked.

"Yup! So I'll be here all the time with you Killua. You'll have all my attention." Gon walks over to Killua, poking him in the cheek before walking past him to the living room, grinning to himself when Killua puffs out his cheeks in annoyance. "Except for on thursday because that's Thanksgiving!-" Killua walks past him quickly, poking him in the cheek roughly before sitting down on the couch. He smirks at Gon who stares at him with wide eyes, the challenge registering.

Gon sits down next to Killua, not able to help his smile as he sits next to him. Killua's ears are perk, twitching on the top of his head as he watches him carefully. Gon decides to go for it and tries to poke Killua's cheek. He's much faster than him and bats his hand away.

"Ha. Don't even try." Killua smirks. "You won't be able to get a hit on me-" Gon tries again but Killua is so fast! He smacks his hand away with ease. Killua seems to be enjoying himself though as Gon gets irritated, trying to get to his cheek but Killua is way too fast for him. It goes on like this for a while till Gon is sulking.

"Killuaaa." Gon whines. "I don't even want to get your cheek anymore. I just want to cuddle you."

"I don't believe you." Killua grunts but after awhile of Gon pouting, his ears flatten. "Fine." Killua opens his arms.

"Yay!" Gon wraps his arms around Killua, chuckling when he can hear the man start to purr so soon.

"Mm, what do you want to do today?"

"I don't know." Killua gets comfortable by pushing Gon off him and laying his head on Gon's chest. "What do you humans do for fun? I would say we could go out and kill people but I don't think you would find that fun."

"No, not really." Gon shakes his head. "Humans do a lot of things for fun! We watch movies and play games and go on adventures..." Gon tries to think of something that they could do together. "We could watch a movie?"

"I don't care. If I don't like it I'll tell you." Killua grumbles when Gon turns on the TV. Killua's ears go back but he doesn't say anything as Gon turns down the TV. He looks through the channels and stops on 'Elf' the movie. "What the hell's that human wearing?" Killua raises his eyebrow at the grown man wearing the elf costume.

"he's an elf." Gon chuckles, scratching behind Killua's ear, the man is laying his head against his chest, his hands on his stomach, kneading into him.

"What is an elf?" Killua's eyes widen when the raccoon attacks the man. He chuckles. "what the heck? Why would he try to hug that animal?"

"He's use to things being friendly." Gon giggles at the amusement that is starting to light up Killua's eyes, his tail waving in the air. "Elves are Santa's helpers. They make toy and bring Christmas joy."

"I think I've heard of Christmas-" Killua chuckles when the elf gets hit by a car. "I guess TV isn't so bad. My brother just always had something weird on I guess."

"yeah. It depends on what channel you're watching." Gon smiles, loving this. Loving sitting here with Killua, watching a movie. It feels right. It feels so toasty, comfy, homey. His home feels like his home once again.

"Christmas is Jesus's birthday correct?" Killua's ears twitch as he tries to recall.

"Yes."

"Then who is Santa?"

"He's the man who brings present to all the good girls and boys every Christmas." Gon smile at Killua when he gives him a questioning look.

"Huh?" Killua narrows his eyes.

"Just watch the movie! You'll learn all about Christmas and santa from it." gon chuckles when Killua starts to watch the movie more seriously, those pupils getting bigger as if sucking in the information.

The movie goes by with the two young adults chuckling at the corny jokes and the craziness. Killua is so warm on him and hs purring is like a nice massage on his chest. It's stupid to say that this movie about an elf has brought them closer together but it feels like it. The laughs shared are something Gon wouldn't throw anyway for anything. He likes this movie a lot more because of it. A movie can be horrible but if you have fun with someone while watching it, that movie can easily be your favorite.

"...I guess this makes sense." Killa grumbles at the end of the movie. Gon looks down at Killua to see his ears are back. "I didn't get any presents because I'm not christian and I kill people so I bet I'm on the naughty list. He would never visit me." Killua's amusement has left him and he frowns.

Gon frowns. He bites his lip. He could make Killua better by telling him the truth but...Gon saw the bewilderment in those eyes, the look of a child learning about Christmas and santa for the first time.

Gon can't steal that away from him. He doesn't want to.

"you never know. I bet Santa will visit you this year. You could write him a letter if you wanted to-"

"He takes mail?" Killua raises his eyebrow, those eyes brightening up. "I could ask him for so much chocolate! You think if I wrote him a persative note he would give me something for Christmas?"

"It's possible." Gon chuckles at how Killua's tail twitches.

"Alright I need some paper and a pencil. I have a list of things I want." Killua's smile is the most cat like Gon has seen, his tail waving in a pleased way. He looks at Gon who is just smiling at him. "What are you going to ask for?"

"Hm? Oh nothing."

"Nothing?" Killua tilts his head. "Why not? You said this santa is magic. You could get you anything you wanted."

"I already have everything I want." Gon rubs Killua's hair, his eyes widening. Killua looks around at the small apartment before looking down at the small TV and the barely filled fridge. He smiles softly.

"You're a simple man."

"yeah. And that's okay. I don't need much." Gon nuzzles Killua's head, getting him to purr.

"Well if you're not going to ask for anything, I'm going to ask for this santa to give us a bunch of food and money." Killua thinks for a moment. "Don't we need a tree? Where is he going to leave the presents?"

"We'll put up the tree after Thanksgiving." Gon hugs Killua tightly. " You excited for Christmas now?"

"Hell yeah. I didn't know there was a fat human who gives you free stuff." Killua grins. "Of course those stupid scientists didn't tell us! We would have been writing Santa for our freedom or their deaths."

"Santa doesn't cause harm to people. That's not the spirit of Christmas."

"ugh." Killua rolls his eyes. "You need to help me write my letter so Santa thinks I'm nicer."

"Santa will see through your actions. Santa will look inside and he'll see the same light that I do. You have nothing to worry about." Gon touches his chest. Killua blinks, looking at his chest before looking at Gon. He closes his eyes, burying his face into Gon's shirt.

"There is no light. You're mistaken." Killua mumbles, but he's nuzzling Gon, holding onto his shirt.

"But if you can be fooled. Then maybe he can be fooled. If he is a ball of joy, then you two are one of the same. You're just not fat."

"I'm nothing like santa." Gon scratches behind Killua's ear, not catching all that he said because he was mumbling in his shirt. Gon stops his hand, his eyes widening. "Oh crap!" Gon shouts, Killua meows in surprise, his claws digging into Gon's chest from alarm, his tail brisling and his ears perking up. "Ow!"

"What?" Killua gets up quickly, his pupils big. "Why did you shout?"

"Because I failed Killua!" Gon holds his head in his hands, throwing his head back and whining. "We had a test today and...I'm pretty sure I failed!"

"Oh. Well you always say that." Killua calms down. "Don't do that. You scared the shit out of me."

"Sorry, I couldn't help it. I completely forgot." Gon gets up, Killua's ears flattening from him getting up and walking away. Gon grabs his laptop and comes back, his face getting serious. He opens up the computer, typing quickly to get to look up his grades. Killua moves closer to him, peering at the compute. Killua glances at Gon who is biting his lip before he looks back at the computer.

"huh 80." Killua blinks at the screen. "that's a higher number than before-" Killua tenses when he looks over at Gon and he's laying his head back, his eyes wide, his mouth open wide in a smile. "Uh... are you alive-"

"80?!" Gon screams, jumping up, throwing his arms in the air. "I did so good! Yahoo!"

"80 is really good!" once Killua sees this reaction he jumps up himself, throwing his arms in the air much like Gon.

"Really good!" Gon holds out his hands to give a high five when Killua just stares at him, he grins. "Hit my hands! It's a way to cerebrate."

Killua smacks his hands roughly and it hurt but Gon is way to happy right now.

"We need to go out for ice cream!" Gon starts to run towards the door. "I can't believe I got an 80!"

"Ice cream?" Killua blinks but his pupils are big. "Is it sweet?"

"yup and they have chocolate-"

"We're going. We need to celebrate. Hell yeah an 80! whatever that means! It's good!" Killua grins when he sees how Gon's eyes brighten. Killua turns into a cat and jumps into Gon's arms, the man still chuckling from how gitty he is. He puts on his jacket, hiding Killua perfectly before he walks out into the cold, still chuckling from everything.

He got an 80. There's so many things to be thankful for right now. And one of things is in his jacket right now, purring, keeping his heart warm.

* * *

"Thanks for helping with making the mac and cheese Killua." Gon smiles over at Killua who is licking his fingers of the excess cheese.

"No problem. It was pretty simple and it smells really good." Killua licks his lips, staring at the pot that is filled with the golden noodles. "can't we just have this Thanksgiving thing here without them?"

"No. I always have Thanksgiving with them." Gon smiles at Killua when he looks annoyed. "If you want to, you can stay home but i'd rather you come with me. It would make me happy."

Killua's ears perk up, his cheeks flushing and he glares at the mac and cheese. "I said I was going. I'm just annoyed about them is all. As long as I get food later, I'm good. You better pack me a lot of food to take home." Killua glares at Gon before he turns into a cat, those blue eyes watching Gon.

"Don't worry. I will. I already told them you're coming so they probably have cat food ready for you." Gon chuckles when Killua's face scrunches up. "I know, I know. You don't have to eat it." Gon covers the pot with a cloth before walking over towards the door. He puts on his jacket, catching Killua in one arm when he jumps up. He zips up his jacket, hiding Killua well before he walks out of his apartment, locking the door behind him.

It's been a couple of days since that woman showed up and Gon hasn't seen any signs of her. Neither has Leorio. Maybe they left. Gon hasn't said anything about it and neither has Killua. They've been too happy to think about her.

Today is Thanksgiving. The day to be thankful and he's so happy he can share this meal with hs best friends and Killua.

The ride to Leorio's house is so short with Killua with him. Gon makes sure he cab driver doesn't turn any music on so he doesn't hurt Killua's ears. Instead he hums some Christmas tunes, digging into his jacket to scratch Killua's head when he's getting restless. The cab driver looks at him funny a couple of times but it doesn't bother Gon.

Gon knocks on Leorio's home. The door is opened by Kurapika, his smile is soft. "Gon! Come right in. That smells wonderful. You can place it on the table." Kurapika closes the door behind Gon when he walks in. Killua crawls out of his jacket, falling down on the floor, landing on his feet, his tail flicking from the annoyance of being snugged up so long. "Oh! Well hello, Killua." Kurapika smiles down at the cat who glares at him as Gon places his pot of mac and cheese next to the mash potatoes. "You look happy as always."

"Wow everything looks so good Kurapika!" Gon is drooling as he takes in all the smells of the turkey and the many different foods around it. "Did you make all this by yourself?"

"yes. If leorio made anything it would be in the trash." Kurapika rolls his eyes, he can't help to chuckle when Leorio glares at him from the living room.

"Are you talking shit in there? Don't even start, I'm already irritated."

"Why are you mad Leorio? It's Thanksgiving!" Gon smiles when Killua jumps into Gon's arms.

"Because! He still is trying to say you're going to be his best man." Leorio glares at Kurapika who

walks into the living room. The blonde glares at Leorio.

"We've had this decided long before you."

"Bull shit! I knew Gon before you."

"We knew Gon around the same time-"

"I knew him before you! Tell him you're my best man Gon."

"uh." Gon smiles nervously when they both glare at him. "rock paper scissors for it?"

"What?!" Leorio squeaks. He stops when Kurapika holds out his fist.

"Okay. Let's do rock paper scissors. If I win, Gon is my best man. If I lose, he's yours."

"Fine." Leorio's face scrunches up. "Best two out of three!"

Gon and Killua watch as Kurapika and Leorio fight it out with rock paper scissors. Kurapika ends up winning easily.

"What the hell!" Leorio points at Kurapika. "You cheated!"

"I did no such thing. You're just too easy to read."

"I want a rematch! A drinking rematch-"

"I won. Gon is my best man." Kurapika flips his hair, getting a little sassy.

"ughhhhh why." Leorio glares at Kurapika.

"Don't make that face Leorio." Kurapika smirks. He leans in and Kisses Leorio, the doctor to be's eyes widen slightly before he melts into the kiss like he always does. Killua's ears perk up and he tilts his head watching the two intently.

"Get a room." Gon teases, Getting Leorio to sputter and Kurapika to flush. "This always happens. You two fight and then you kiss and make up." Gon chuckles when their faces get redder.

"Time for food." Kurapika and Leorio get up at the same time, walking into the kitchen. Gon's eyes light up and he walks n after them, Killua following after him. Gon is quick to get as much as he can on one plate. They al walk out to the living room together once everyone has food.

"There's some food for you in the kitchen." Kurapika smiles at Killua. Killua's ears go back and he jumps next to Gon, lying next to him, his tail thumping against the couch. "I guess he doesn't want it."

"It's okay. Ready to say prayers?" Gon smiles. "Who wants to go first?"

"I'll go first this year." Kurapika closes his eyes, a fond smile coming to his lips. "This year, im grateful for such a good fiance and best man."

"This year I'm grateful for my best bud and my soon to be wife. I'm also grateful for passing that test." Leroio chuckles, scratching his cheek. Kurapika glaring at him for calling him 'wife'.

"This year im grateful for everyone here. Especially Killua." Gon smiles at Killua whose ears perk up, his eyes widening. "I'm really grateful for him."

Kurapika and leorio look at each other before they share a smile. "Amen." They all say and then they dig in.

Gon gives Killua piece of turkey. He stares at it for awhile, his eyes are still large and light.

"How did you do on the test Gon?" Leorio says hesitantly, but he relaxes when he sees Gon's grin.

"An 80!"

"That's great Gon!" Kurapika smiles. "You're doing well."

"Sort of. That's the best grade I've gotten." Gon chuckles. "I've been staying at 75."

"Hey, that's passing." Leorio shoves some mash potatoes in his mouth.

"Yup! And that's all that matters!" Gon smils at Kurapika. "When is the wedding going to be?"

"Soon." Kurapika smiles ."We were thinking about having the winter. I'll tell you when we know the date."

"Okay!" Gon swallows a big ball of food, sighing in relief from all the delicious food.

"Meow." Gon blinks, looking over, seeing a small orange and white kitten staring at him from the doorway.

"Oh yeah! We got a little cat of our own. This is carrot cake." Kurapka smiles as the kitten comes into the room more. She's staring at Gon and when Gon makes a kissing sound, she comes closer. Gon pets the kitten on the top of the head, gushing when she licks his finger.

"She's so cute Kurapika!" Gon smiles as the kitten starts to rub herself against his legs-

"She seems to like you." Kurapika smiles-

Killua hisses at the kitten, lashing out with a claw. The kitten runs away quickly. "Killua-" Gon starts only to blink when Killua starts to run against his legs were the kitten was and he licks Gon's fingers before jumping up and making himself comfortable on his lap, glaring daggers at the Kitten who is staying around Kurapika.

"Jealous much?" Leorio blinks when Killua hisses at him. "Sometimes I wonder if these animals know what we're saying."

"I wonder too." Gon chuckles nervously when Killua starts digging his claws into his thigh. Oh yeah. He's pissed off. His tail is flicking everywhere. Gon blinks when Killua gets in his face and head butts him, rubbing his head over his cheek and chin before he lays back down on his lap.

"You can't talk Leorio." Kurapika chuckles to himself. "You act just like Killua did when that guy tried to ask me for my number."

"S-Shut up." Leorio flushes. "You get pissed off when ever a girl just looks my way." Kurapika glares at him.

"mmm this is really good mashed potatoes Kurapika!" Gon smiles, trying to break in before a fight starts. The air is too tense for Thanksgiving and he knows most of the tension is from Killua who is glaring daggers at him.

"Thanks Gon. Your mac and cheese is the best as always."

"I'm going to have to take a huge shit after all of this is over."

"Leorio...why?"Gon laughs as the two go back and forth. He eats his food, his heart getting warmer when he sees Kurapika and Leorio kiss again. They're so happy. Gon is glad. They work together and they make each other better, even if they do fight a lot. It's healthy. That's just how they are. Love comes in all shapes and sizes.

Mito always did say that.

* * *

"They really didn't have to give me so much food." Gon smiles sheepishly as he walks into his apartment, closing the door with his butt, his hands filled with containers filled with leftovers. He did say he wanted a good amount just for Killua but they insisted he take all the leftovers. They wouldn't take no for an answer. He had to fight them about and Killua was getting irritated and scratching him so he gave in.

Killua jumps out of his jacket and lands on the floor with ease. Gon walks to the kitchen, placing all the containers down before smiling at Killua who has just changed back into his human form. Killua's ears are flatten and his arms are crossed. "Killua? Is something wrong-"

"You called that cat cute and petted her." Killua grumbles, his tail flicking.

"Is that bad?" Gon tilts his head as he starts to get Killua's plate of food ready.

"Am I not enough?" Killua turns and glares at Gon. "You dare let her rub her scent all over you. She was claiming you. Are you hers?"

"No?" Gon blinks at how angry Killua is getting, his tail brisling. "I don't really understand-"

"And you made some sort of sound to her, and it sounded nice." Killua grumbles, his ears flattening.

 _Jealous much?"_ Leorio's words come back to Gon and his eyes widen. Is it true? Is Killua really jealous of that small kitten? There are a lot of things Gon doesn't understand about the cat world so…

"Killua you're the only person I need. I don't need another cat or friend to stay with me. Just you." Gon walks over to Killua with a plate of food who is looking at him intently. "I didn't know me petting another cat would upset you so much. I may have called her cute and petted her then but Killua is way cuter and I pet you all the time. I enjoy petting Killua the most."

Killua's cheeks get dusted a soft pink, his ears staying against his head and his eyes averting. Gon is expecting Killua to get angry because he called him cute but he doesn't. Those eyes have brighten back 's' such a soft smile that Gon feels his heart beating faster, his own face getting flushed from such a face on Killua.

"Then don't let another cat rub on you. Though that guy pissed me off, he's right. I'm a jealous cat when it comes to my territory." Killua walks up to Gon and starts to rub his head against his chest before nuzzling his head. "Mine." Killua pulls away, putting his hands on his hips. "you're mine, along with this house so no other cat can claim you."

Gon's heart had skipped and he can't help to chuckle. It's light and his chest feels tight. "Fine. I'm all yours Killua. Are you happy now?"

"Yeah." Killua takes the food, both of them walking to the couch to sit together. "I was irritated about that cat and then those two were getting on my nerves. I'm so glad that was over." Killua glares at his food before glancing at Gon who is still blushing slightly. He doesn't understand why Killua calling him his got him all worked up. Gon needs to get ahold of himself before he makes things strange. If a cat man being in his house wasn't strange enough.

Killua stares at the flush before he starts to pick at the couch with his nails. "What were those two humans doing?"

"hm?" gon looks over at Killua who locks eyes with him.

"They kept touching their lips together and lickng each other. I saw it in the movie we were watching as well. What is that? And what does it mean?"

"Oh! That's called a kiss. Two humans do that when they like each other. It's a way to show affection." Gon smiles at Killua who seems to take this in.

"A way to show affection?" Killua suddenly gets closer to him, Gon having to back away, his face is so close.

"Yes, affection. Two humans usually do it when they um...mate though. If you kiss someone, that might mean you want to...mate with them but you might just want to show affection." Gon tries to explain when he sees how Killua is staring at his lips.

"I see." Killua leans in, and before Gon can do anything, Killua is licking his lips, before pressing his lips against Gon's. Gon's face catches on fire. He stares at Killua with wide eyes who averts his gaze. "hmm...the kiss isn't unpleasant. I can see why you humans would do it to show affection." Killua touches his lips before looking at Gon again.

"B-But Kissing on the lips is used for mates." Gon's heart is jumping too much when Killua leans in again. Killua stops. His ears twitch. He seems to consider this before he pulls back.

"So we can't kiss?"

"Well...we can kiss other parts that aren't the lips! Like so." Gon leans in and Kisses Killua's cheek. Killua purrs, his face flushing.

"Ah. Okay. That is affection." Killua leans in, kissing him on the cheek as well. Gon smiles.

"Yes. That's okay." Gon chuckles nervously when Killua keeps staring at him, his tail flicking behind him. "Don't you want to eat? I know you have to be hungry."

"yes I do." Killua stares at his food for a moment before his ears flatten and he closes his eyes. "...This year I'm grateful for..." He trails off at the end, his face getting so red. " I'm just...I'm just really grateful! Amen!" Killua digs into his food, Gon's eyes wide before they soften. Killua is copying what they did. He's been watching everyone so carefully.

"Me too Killua. I'm really grateful that I've met you. I'm really happy that you're with me."

Killua keeps his eyes shut as he eats but his ears have perked up and his tail has wrapped around Gon's wrist.

Gon's lips are still tingling from Killua kissing him, his face is still warm and his heart hasn't calmed down. He will just focus on the joy budding in his chest, he'll just focus on Killua's light eyes.

Gon has so much to be thankful for.

 _I've been blessed Mito._

Gon smiles at Killua when he glances over at him, his mouth filled with food.

 _I"ve been really blessed._

* * *

Another chapter! Thank you for your support and thank you to my beta reader Anathemal, once again! You're helping me a lot with this.

Till next time!


	6. Chapter 6

Gon is woken up by warmth and a rumbling in the bed. His eyelids flutter, his amber eyes peeking through, shine with clarity when they lock on Killua who is laying right in front of him, their foreheads pressed together, his nails kneading at his chest.

"Good morning." Gon yawns, seeing those blue eyes are wide open and staring at him, his pupils big. Gon wraps his arm around Killua, getting more comfortable, nuzzling his head. Killua tenses slightly before he relaxes, his purr getting louder.

"Morning." He mumbles.

"You're happy this morning. Your purring woke me up." Gon chuckles when Killua's ears perk up and his face flushes.

"I'm not super happy or anything. It's just nice not having to get woken up by you getting up for school. When will you be done with school?"

"I still have 8 years." Gon smiles sheepishly when Killua pulls away, looking at him with wide eyes.

"8 years?! Are you serious?"

"Sadly, yeah. It takes a lot of years to be a doctor." Gon sighs.

"You should pick something else to do." Killua's tail twitches as Gon sits up in bed, Killua doing the same.

"I can't. I don't want to do anything else. I want to be a doctor. I'm going to save lives Killua." Gon smiles, his amber eyes getting distant. Killua's ears flatten when Gon gets off the bed.

"I just don't understand. You're doing all this work just to save other humans. They don't deserve it." Killua stands up after him, crossing his arms, his eyebrows furrowing in his glare, his shoulders tense.

"Believe me when I say this, Killua, but there's more to humans than what you've seen. I'm not the only good human and those scientists aren't the only bad humans. There are monsters and then there's just the normal humans that just want to have a life filled with love and fun." Gon looks over at Killua whose ears have gone back. He doesn't say anything but his body has gotten tense and those blue eyes are more slanted.

"I hate them all." Killua's voice gets low.

"Then you hate me." Gon points out. Killua's ears perk up and he looks at Gon with wide eyes, shaking his head.

"I don't hate you!-"

"But I'm human-"

"You're not. You're Gon. You're not in that classification." Killua follows after Gon when he walks into the other room. When Gon doesn't respond to him fast enough, Killua's tail flicks behind him before he pounces on Gon, wrapping his arms around him from behind. He nuzzles his head between Gon's shoulder blades. "Don't walk away from me." Killua mumbles.

"I was just going to start making us breakfast. I'm not angry if that's what you were thinking. I'm happy you don't group me with the scientists. Since you can see me as more than just a human...I'm sure you can see others as more than just humans. I'll show you all the good in our race and you'll see why I want to heal these people." Gon smiles back at Killua, his eyes burning with determination, his smile bright. Killua's ears go back, his blue eyes lighting up before he lets go of Gon quickly, glaring off to the side.

"I'm pretty sure you're the only human I'll make an exception for, Gon." He turns away quickly, Gon can see his face is flushed, his ears stay back, his blue eyes soft with some sort of emotion but it's gone quickly. Killua turns to him and glares. "Make me something to eat."

Gon chuckles, reaching out to pat Killua on the head, scratching behind his ear. Killua gets flustered so easily. But Gon is sure he's never been this honest with a human before and he's sure he's not used to being touched nicely or having someone to care for him. Killua purrs, closing his eyes as Gon runs his hands through his hair. "I'll make you something." Gon walks over to the kitchen, not catching how Killua's tail flicks in irritation and he glares, his ears perking back up. "Do you want me to make you something new or do you want some leftovers? We have some ham-"

"I want ham."

"Mmm, me too." Gon's stomach rumbles thinking about Kurapika's ham as he pulls out the tray in his fridge. His fridge has never been so full. It's amazing. He makes two plates filled with ham and mac and cheese before heating them up in the microwave. "So what do you want to do today?" Gon starts to stretch by pressing on his lower back and arching his back, hearing some cracks. Killua watches him closely like he always does, those eyes looking up his body before locking eyes with him.

"I don't know. Did you say something about putting up the tree for Santa?" Killua's eyes light up when Gon hands him his plate of food. The two walk into the living room and sit on the couch together.

"We could do that today!" Gon's eyes brighten and he smiles at Killua. His ears twitch before he looks away quickly from Gon's face, taking a bite out of his ham. "You could also start writing your letter to Santa if you wanted-"

"Oh, I want. I have a lot to tell that old jolly man." Killua's smile twists up, his tail waving around. He blinks before he looks over at Gon who is stuffing his face with mac and cheese. "Are we going to chop a tree down? What does Santa prefer? I bet he wants a huge tree right? If we get a super huge tree, do we get more presents?" Killua's pupils get bigger as he thinks of the possibilities.

"No it doesn't work like that. Santa gives you how much he pleases, not based on your tree. Based on you heart." Gon touches Killua's chest.

"My heart is pretty healthy so I should get a lot of presents."

"You know what I mean Killua." Gon watches as Killua grins.

"Yeah. If you're good or not. You humans have weird expressions though. Why do you point at your heart like your heart controls if you are good or bad? And you express feelings by saying they come from the heart when they don't come from the heart at all. They come from the brain." Killua taps his head.

"It's just an expression. It's true emotions come from the brain, but when you're feeling sad or scared or happy, you feel it in your heart. Your heart beats faster or slower. It reacts to your feelings. So maybe that's where the saying comes from. You don't really feel anything in your head."

"I suppose." Killua's ears twitch as he thinks before he eats a piece of ham.

"Santa will read your letter and he'll see inside Killua. That I promise you."

Killua looks over at him, his pupils getting bigger, his eyes lighter before he looks down at his plate, his bangs falling in his face. "You're right. You do feel it in the chest."

"Hmm?" Gon leans closer to try to hear what Killua is mumbling.

"Ugh, eat." Killua pushes his face away before grabbing some ham and shoving it into Gon's mouth. Gon eats it easily and chuckles.

"You get red easily, Killua."

"Shut up." Killua grumbles, his tail banging against the couch.

"While I get the tree out, why don't you start writing your letter?" Gon stands up once he's finished his food, taking Killua's plate that is clean. He walks over to the kitchen, dropping them off in the sink. He walks to where his house phone is, grabbing a couple of pieces of paper and a pen. He hands them to Killua who had stood up and was watching Gon walk around like he does.

"You're going to chop it down yourself?" Killua raises his eyebrow.

"No, I have a tree already in the attic."

"Huh?" Killua tilts his head, raising his eyebrow.

"You'll see." Gon chuckles as he walks into the middle of the living room. Killua stares at him for a moment before he lays down on his stomach, placing the piece of paper on the floor, his tail waving around.

"How should I start this thing? Does he even speak english?"

"Yeah! Santa is magic. He knows everything." Gon beams at how Killua's eyes widen. "You should start off with saying 'dear Santa,' and then you can say what you want!"

"Sounds sI'mple enough. And this guy will get me whatever I want? If he thinks I'm good enough."

Killua grumbles at that last part but his tail is twitching in anticipation, his pupils getting bigger. Soon enough Killua is focused on writing, his hand becoming a blur. Gon watches him a moment, smiling to himself. He remembers being young and being the same way. He would write Santa like he would write to a distant friend. The younger years are always filled with wonder. Gon is glad he's able to give that to Killua. Everyone should experience it.

Gon reaches up and grabs the string that was taped to the wall. He pulls on it and a piece of the ceiling comes down, folded stairs sliding down-

"Whoa!" Killua's ears perk up, his eyes wide when he sees this. "You had a secret room?" Killua's smile gets a little too cat like. "Whatcha' hiding up there Gon? I'm sure such a nice guy like you has to have some secrets."

"What? No. The only thing that's up here is the Christmas stuff. Mito's things are up here too. I didn't have the heart to get rid of them." Gon ignores the slight sting in his chest as he pulls down the stairs completely, when they touch the ground Gon can look up into the attic that is darkened. There's a gust of cold air that travels down, getting him to shiver. It always looks so unwelcoming.

"So it's mainly a storage space." Killua walks over to him, peering up, his ears twitching when Gon starts to climb up the stairs. His ears go back. "You keep a tree up there? How?"

"It's an artificial tree! We got it a while back and I've just kept it." Gon smiles when he finds the old worn out box. He starts to slide it over to the opening, bending down to lift one side of it. "Killua could you get the other end?" Killua is up the stairs quickly and he grabs the other end without complaint. The two work together to carry the large box down the stairs, dropping it in the living room.

"A fake tree?" Killua wrinkles his nose at all the dust that's on the box that's been held together by duct tape. "It smells nasty." Killua glances at Gon when he starts walking back up there.

"There are some more boxes." Gon explains, grabbing some of the tubs he has filled with Christmas decorations. He ignores the tubs that are filled with Mito's clothes. Killua comes up and helps him move down the tubs, the two of them getting the job done easily. "Thanks for the help!" Gon smiles, pushing up the stairs before closing up the ceiling. This apartment is really nice despite how small it is and everything. Being on the top floor has the perks of having a mini attic.

"I was kind of hoping we'd get to chop down a tree like that elf did." Killua grumbles, crossing his arms as Gon gets on the floor, opening up the box that has the fake tree in it. Gon starts to take out all the different parts, searching for the base. When he finds it he smiles over at Killua who had started crawling towards him cautiously looking at the tree. His ears twitch and he stops, staring at Gon's expression, crouched down like a frog.

"There isn't anywhere to chop down trees around here. They're very strict about that. We're trying to save the trees nowadays because we've chopped so many in the past. So we get fake trees to decorate that we can keep." Gon explains. "Where would you like to put the tree Killua? Anywhere you like!" Gon shakes his hands in his excitement. Killua's eyes light up and he starts looking around the room. He narrows his eyes, thinking before he points to the corner of the living room, near the TV.

"Let's put it there."

"Sounds good to me!" Gon hums as he walks over to the spot, dragging the box with him. His eyes light up. "This needs Christmas music! Killua, you can keep writing your letter, putting up the tree isn't really the fun part, decorating is! So I'll tell you when I'm done." Gon turns on the TV, turning it to one of those music channels, pleased when he hears the soothing tone of a Christmas song.

"I don't know what else to ask for. I already asked him for a year's worth of chocolate." Killua mumbles, walking back over to his list. He sits down but those blue eyes watch intently as Gon starts to put the tree up, humming along to the Christmas song.

"...Humans really are strange." Killua props his head up with his elbow pressed into his thigh, his legs crossed as he stares at Gon. "You think of the strangest things to do."

"I guess so. Humans are really creative." Gon beams as he stands up, working his way up, putting the different branches on it, spreading the fake leaves as he goes. He sighs in relief when he gets to the top. He plugs the tree in and cheers when the multi colored lights still turn on.

"Oh." Killua's pupils get big when he sees the different colors and he stands up quickly. "Wow. I want to destroy it."

"Huh?" Gon frowns slightly when Killua's pupils get even bigger and he looks about ready to pounce on the tree. "Killua! Don't attack it! It's the Christmas tree! Without this, Santa won't leave us anything-"

This seems to snap Killua out of it because his pupils get smaller and his face scrunches up. "You don't like the tree?"

"It's not that I don't like it. I don't know. I just have the urge to just...jump on it."

"Maybe because this is your first time seeing a Christmas tree! You're excited! Isn't it pretty?" Gon's eyes brighten. "We're going to make it even prettier!"

Killua's ears twitch, staring at Gon's eyes before looking at the bright tree. He snorts. "Anything to make that fat man happy. He has strange wants." Killua watches as Gon opens up the tubs and pulls out a red ornament. Killua's pupils get big and before Gon can stop him, he bats the ball out of his hand, it shattering.

"Killua." Gon pouts. "Don't break the ornaments. They have to go on the tree."

"They look like they should be broken." Killua stares at all the shiny ornaments, those pupils so big but when Gon gives him this look, his pupils get smaller. He sighs. "Fine. On the tree."

Gon smiles and Killua averts his gaze, his ears going back.

"Here Killua put this on the tree!" Gon hands him a small angel. Killua stares at it for a minute before he takes it from him and walks over to the tree. He stares at the tree before carefully putting it on a branch. He glances back at Gon who is gushing at him.

"Like that?"

"Yeah! Get some more!" Gon chuckles, feeling giddy as he grabs a couple of balls and walks over to the tree, putting them on the branches. Killu walks over and grabs some of the balls as well, putting them on the tree. Gon keeps smiling and humming the songs that soon Killua has gotten into the rhythm of putting up ornaments, his body moving subconsciously with the music and Gon's humming/

"It's looking really good!" Gon stares at the tree, his chest getting warm before looking over at Killua who is staring at it with those big pupils. He tenses and looks over at Gon. "Isn't this fun?" Gon smiles.

Killua's lips turn into a smile of his own, those blue eyes giving way to this softness, this light that Gon has seen from the beginning. " Yeah." He chuckles. "I don't know how, but it is. It's because it's you..." Killua's chuckling dies down a bit.

"Everything is funnier when you're doing it with someone you like! I'm having a lot of fun with you Killua!" Killua flushes, his ears going back but Gon can hear his purr.

"Stop embarrassing me." Killua grumbles, shoving Gon away when he got too close. "Are we done?"

"No. We still have to put the angel on top-" Gon starts but Killua's ears have perked up. His face gets pale, his pupils getting to be the size of dinner plates. He crouches down like a frog before running on his arms and legs into his bedroom quickly. Just when he does this, There's a knock at his front door.

Gon's warmth is replaced quickly by this feeling turning his gut. Whatever this is, it's not good. He can feel it. Gon glares at the door, angry that someone had to cut into their Christmas fun and make him feel like this. Gon takes a deep breath and walks over to the door. He opens it, his eyes widening slightly when he sees that old woman.

"Oh hello...didn't you come around a couple of days looking for your cat?" Gon smiles, hoping it doesn't look as strained as it feels. This woman killed Retz's neighbor and she's trying to take Killua away from him. He can feel this fire start building in his chest.

"Yes, that's me. Sadly I haven't been able to find him. I'm just trying again because my poor babies miss him so. Especially my little one. Her name is Alluka. She misses him so." The old woman drags out the name Alluka.

"Who's Alluka?" Gon blinks when this woman just turns and walks away. Gon frowns, closing the door and locking it. That was weird. "Killua she's gone now." When there's no response, Gon's stomach starts to twist again. He walks into his bedroom quickly, his eyes widening when he sees Killua laying on his bed, holding his head in his hands, his eyes wide and shaking. There's a bead of sweat falling down his cheek, his tail puffed up. He's biting his lip so much that he's piercing his skin.

"Killua! What's wrong?" Gon rushes over towards him. Killua's eyes snap towards him, taking in the concern before his eyes get filled with pain. He screams in frustration and bites his lip harder, digging into the bed. 'Killua-" Gon grabs a hold of him, grabbing his chin to stop him from biting his lip. It works but Killua is breathing quickly, Gon can feel his pulse just from touching him.

"I'm a horrible big brother. I completely forgot...they fucked with my head! I didn't even think about her, I just ran...I've been living it up here and she's been there...shit!" Killua curses, closing his eyes tightly when Gon keeps frowning at him.

"Who did you forget about?" Gon's eyes widen in realization. "...is it the Alluka person?-" Killua suddenly reaches out, wrapping his arms around Gon, clinging to him.

"...I can't stay here, Gon."

"What?" Gon tenses up, his heart sinking to his stomach.

"I can't stay."

"But...you marked this place as your home-"

"I know that!" Killua snaps, his voice rising. "I don't want to leave." Killua swallows thickly. "But I can't stay here when my sister is still at that damn lab. Those bastards. They fucked with my head. They've been keeping my sister away from me, in a separate room and they've made me forget about her. They made me remember on purpose. They know I'll come back. They know I can't just leave her there. If I had remembered her before I ran away, I could have brought her with me. Then maybe...we could have both been living here."

Gon wraps his arms around Killua, holding him tightly, his heart beating quickly and his stomach churning. He doesn't' want Killua to leave. "Maybe we could go save her and bring her here! I don't mind having your sister living with us-"

"You can't go there." Killua pulls away suddenly, his eyes getting dark in warning. "I can't risk you getting harmed alright? They would spot me right away so...just..." Killua buries his head in Gon's chest, his body becoming still. "I would love for my sister to live here with us. It's been so long since I've been able to see her. Being here with you and her, would be like a dream come true-" Killua

suddenly pulls away, his ears perked up, his eyes lighting up, stopping whatever Gon was about to say.

"Santa!"

"Santa?" Gon follows after Killua who has run into the living room, grabbing his list. He starts to write on the back of the first one he wrote, writing quickly.

"Yeah! You think he could bring my sister here? That's all I need for Christmas. Do you think he'd do it quickly? Or can he only do things on Christmas?"

Something clicks in Gon's mind. His heart beats slowly with resolve as he smiles at Killua, his eyes lighting up. "Yeah! Just write the note explaining where the lab is, how to get there, what he has to look out for and any tips you have for him. This is a big thing for Santa to do, but I'm sure he can pull it off."

Gon watches as Killua's eyes light up in hope and he starts to write quickly. Gon can feel his own heart rate spike. He doesn't know what he's going to do, or how he's going to do it but all he knows is...he has to get Killua's sister.

He can't let Killua go back to that place where they're just going to hurt him.

Gon could be walking into his death but he could care less. If he loses Killua to those scientists...Gon couldn't live with himself. All he would think about is Killua and if they're hurting him or if he's okay. It would be a new kind of hell. The cold would swallow his heart and soul.

Gon feels a little guilty for using Santa to trick Killua into telling him all he needs to know but he has to do this.

"There..." Killua finishes the note. He looks it over before looking at Gon. "How do we get it to Santa?"

"I'll go mail it." Gon gets an envelope, putting the letter in it. Killua stands up quickly. "I have to go alone. Santa won't show if there's a crowd to get the letter."

"Oh." Killua's ears flatten but he nods his head. "Just get the note to him. I can't stay long but...I'll wait two days for him.' Killua watches as Gon gets his jacket on, his ears still flattened. "Gon." Gon stops and looks back at Killua, those blue eyes glossy. "Come back soon, alright?"

"Okay." Gon smiles, walking over to Killua to hug him, feeling like he needed it. Killua tenses only to melt into the hold. Gon nuzzles his head against Killua's, getting him to purr. Gon is surprised when Killua kisses him on the cheek, but Gon remembers that Killua is showing him affection so he kisses the top of his head. "I'll be back Killua. Make yourself something to eat."

"I'll make us both something to eat. So don't take to long." Killua stresses that again as he watches Gon walk towards the door. Gon waves, his heart sinking when he sees how intently Killua is watching him, that frown on his lips. Gon walks out and closes the door behind him, letting out a shaky breath.

He understands why he wants him to come home soon. If they only have two days together, he wants to spend time with him. But Gon doesn't plan on letting Killua go back to those monsters. No.

Gon walks down the stairs, and keeps walking down the street. Once he's away from his apartment, he opens the envelope, his hands trembling as he takes out the letter. This is breaking Killua's trust but...He can't sit here and let this happen. It's not right.

"Dear Santa,

I don't know if you even care about what I'm going to say but hear me out. I need your help. If you're all knowing, than you already know what I want.

My sister is in trouble. Please bring her to Gon's house so that we can all live together. I don't know what else to do. I can't do this on my own and I don't want to leave my new home. Alluka would be really happy here too.

The lab where my sister is located in Jade town, disguised as a Chillin Donuts. There are two ways to get in the lab. Through the kitchen and through the bathroom. The bathroom was made more for an emergency exit and is hidden well. I would go with this option.

To find the way in, go to the third sink and tap on the bottom of it four times. The wall will move out and you'll be able to get through but you must move way will lead you into the back of lab. If you keep going straight you will get to the room where they're keeping my sister. You will have to use your magic to get into her room.

Her room will have two large black circles on change the password all the time. Once you have my sister, just go out the way you came. Or, you can use your powers and just get out of there with no issues. If all goes well, you shouldn't run into any of the scientist. The best time to do this is during the day. During the night is when most of the scientists are doing their experiments and studies. The best time is 5 o'clock. I hope this is all you need to know. If not, let me know. Please hurry though. I'm close to begging here.

My sister would really be happy here...and I've been wanting to take her away from that hell hole. I would go myself, but I know they're waiting for me. I won't be able to escape if I go back. So I'm counting on you.

If you do this, I'll try to be 'good'. I would even promise to work on being more human if it means my sister could be here and I don't have to leave.

Killua."

By the end of the letter, Gon can feel water sting the corner of his eyes, the cold weather almost freezing it. Gon's heart beats faster and his chest tightens. This note shows how hopeful Killua is that Santa can help. Killua really wants to stay with him. He wants to bring Alluka here. He doesn't' want to leave.

If Gon wasn't set before, he's definitely set on what he has to do next. Gon calls Kurapika, waiting a couple of rings before he picks up.

"Gon?"

"Kurapika I have a favor. Could you watch Killua for a little bit. I might not be back till' real late. They called me in to work a late one today."

"Oh...I suppose I'm free. Leorio went out with his college buddies so...yes. Sure. I'll watch Killua for you-"

"Just knock and then let yourself in. I won't be there when you get there. Thank you so much Kurapika. I owe you!" Gon hangs up before Kurapika can question him more.

He doesn't know how long he'll be gone but he knows if he doesn't come back in a reasonable time, Killua will get restless and might come looking for him. If Kurapika is there, Killua will be stuck. He won't turn into his human form and Kurapika won't let him get out.

That's for the best.

* * *

Gon rereads the note before checking the time. It's four in the afternoon. This is a good enough time of any. Gon pulls up his hood, already coming up with a plan in his mind...well, sort of.

Gon's plan is get Alluka out of there. That's all he's thinking about. He's going to keep Killua happy and he's going to save his sister. Gon knows how important family is, so he doesn't blame Killua who wants to leave for his sister, but Gon can't sit back and let it happen.

Santa might not be here to help him, but Gon has always worked hard for everything he has. So he'll work hard for Killua. He'll become Santa for him and he won't come back till he has Alluka in his arms.

It took about an half an hour for Gon to get to Jade Town and to gather everything that he would need. Already, he's gotten a text from Kurapika that Killua is freaking out, scratching at the door to get out and he's tried to bite Kurapika. Gon expected this though. Gon knows Killua doesn't like Kurapika much but it's the only way.

Gon stares at the Chillin Donuts in front of him, his heart beating faster. He glances down at the bag that's hanging off of his shoulder. This will make him look like he's a college student who's come to study and to use up their wi-fi.

Gon keeps his hood on and he lowers his head, holding his stomach as he walks into the store, Groaning. "W-Where's the bathroom?" Gon groans, keeping his head lowered.

"Over there Sir. Just go right and it's there. Are you okay?" Someone answers.

"T-Thanks! Can't talk! Going to puke." Gon rushes over to the right, keeping himself hunched over. He glances up to look for the bathroom and to his relief there is only one bathroom. A shared bathroom. Gon knocks on the door. When there's no response, Gon walks in. He closes the door behind him and locks it, keeping his head down. He digs through his bag and pulls out the plastic hockey mask he bought for cheap at the store. He puts it on, adjusting it so he can see better.

Gon is sure they have cameras everywhere. He's not taking any chances. Gon walks over to the middle Sink, pulling out Killua's note to look over it again. Carefully Gon taps on the sink four times. Gon's heart beats faster when the wall holding the sink goes in, creating a doorway for him to go in. He's doing it. He's about to go down into the lab where Killua was tortured and raped. He's about to see where Killua has lived for most of his life.

Gon takes on breath before he walks into the wall quickly when the door started to close. It's very dark in here. Gon carefully walks down the stairs, not making too much sounds, his ears open for any talking or movement downstairs. He doesn't hear any. He goes down a good five sets of stairs before he finally gets to the bottom.

Gon swallows, looking forward. Just like Kilua said, it's like a long straight hallway. He's completely out in the open. There's no place to hide if someone were to be in this hallway. So far it looks like it's empty, the hall made of glass, the lights barely lighting up the place.

Killua…

Gon grips his fist, not thinking of the consequences as he walks into the hallway, speed walking down it as he looks at his note. Killua said to keep going straight and he'll come up to Alluka's room. The door with the two big black circles... Gon can feel a bead of sweat fall down his face as he walks down this hallway. Every little step he takes echos. It's too quiet here. And this is too easy.

Gon's heart skips a beat when he finally spots a door with two big black circles on it. It's all like Killua said. Gon rushes over to the door, smiling, adrenaline pulsing through his veins. He's never felt this thrilled. The danger of it all makes him get goosebumps and he's shaking...but he's not terrified. He's scared yes, but being scared is making him happy. When was the last time he felt like this? Gon couldn't remember a time.

Something about how he could be killed, he could be captured, makes his heart beat and this pleasant humming in his brain. Gon doesn't have a death wish but this feeling could easily become addictive.

Gon tilts his head at the keypad on the door. He looks at the note again, and he chews on his lip.

Killua said the password always changes. So Killua doesn't know it. Gon stares at the pad, his head starting to hurt. If he puts the wrong thing in, will a alarm set off? Gon glances around, trying to see if there's any hints to what the password would be but this place is just a bunch of glass.

This could be bad but Gon can't leave now. He's so close.

Gon reaches out to start typing in random numbers- he tenses when a piece of paper suddenly falls from above him, floating down slowly. Gon grabs it before looking up. There's nothing there. Gon looks down at the note, his eyes widening.

"The password is 7856."

Gon looks up again, tilting his head. That's really convenient. Too convenient but Gon can't complain. He types in the password, his eyes brightening and his pulse quickening when the light turns green and the door opens.

Gon rushes in, his eyes widening slightly when he takes in the room. It's pink and filled with stuffed animals. So many stuffed animals one could get buried in them. Gon walks slowly into this room, looking around. Once he passes a large teddy bear, his amber eyes lock with surprised blue.

A young girl is laying on the floor on her stomach, a coloring book in front of her with a bunch of different crayons. Her black tail is waving behind her, her body bare. Gon can see the pale skin of her back and shoulders.

"Are you Alluka?" Gon asks, locking eyes with those blue that are wide.

"Yes. Who are you-" Alluka's eyes get bigger and she stands up. Gon's jerks at her fast movement, a little surprised at what he just saw between her thighs but he doesn't linger on it when she runs towards him. Gon stays still as Alluka starts to sniff him all over, her eyes getting so bright and her smile is nice. "You smell like big brother! Big brother marked you!" Alluka hugs Gon, nuzzling against him.

"You've seen big brother? I've heard he's escaped! I miss him so much-"

"Alluka, I'm here to get you out of here and bring you to your brother. Killua has been living with me and I would like for you to live with me too. Killua really misses you too." Gon watches as Alluka's eyes get so wide and bright, her black ears twitching on top of her head.

"Live with big brother? He misses me?"Alluka looks like she's about to cry as she hugs Gon tighter. "I want to go! Big brother must like you a lot to mark you. I want to live with you. Any friend of big brother's is a friend of mine!" She beams, pulling away. "You're amazing mister! You got this far into the lab. This place is really dangerous. We better leave soon before the bad people come back."

"It's Gon." Gon smiles at her before he opens up his book bag. "Alluka, can you turn into a cat? I'm gong to carry you out in this."

"I can!" Alluka changes much like Killua does. She's a small black cat with big blue eyes. She jumps easily in his book bag. Just when she does, a alarm starts to go off. Gon tenses, wiping his head over towards the sound. He feels his bag become heavier but he doesn't question it as he closes his book bag, ignoring Alluka's meow as he runs to the door and opens it. The whole hallway looks red from the alarm going off.

Gon turns and starts running the way he came, the alarm so loud he can't hear anything. He thinks he just heard Alluka meow really loudly, like she was being hurt, and Gon feels bad for jerking her around but he needs to get them out before they get caught. He's too close to fail now.

Gon runs up the stairs as fast as he can. He can hear shouts behind him now. He pushes himself to the limit and once he gets to the wall that's suppose to move, he looks around. His eyes lighting up when he sees a lever. He pulls it, and the wall opens, letting him back into the bathroom. Gon runs out of the bathroom, Not caring about all the strange looks he gets from the people eating donuts as he runs out of the store and he keeps running.

His pulse is off the charts, and his heart feels like it could beat out of his chest but...Gon is smiling. He laughs from all nice humming in his brain and how good he feels. He did it! He saved Alluka! Killua doesn't have to go back! Now they can all live together and...Killua is going to be so happy! Santa got him a very early Christmas present.

Gon doesn't stop running, his chest hurting from how cold it is and he probably should grab a cab but he can't. He has to run off this energy, has to tire himself out. By the time Gon gets to his apartment and runs up the stairs, he's exhausted. His face is numb and his chest hurts so much. There's a dull throbbing in his leg as well.

Gon takes off the hockey mask and puts it in his bag. He leans to whisper to the bag. "Be quiet. Let's surprise your big brother." Gon hears a mew and he smiles.

Gon gets his key out before opening the door, walking in.

"G-Gon. Thank goodness you're back!" Kurapika looks like he's been through hell, his clothes are ruffed and cut. Some of the ornaments have shattered and are on the floor. "Killua hasn't calmed down since you've been gone." As soon as Kurapika started talking to Gon, the white cat runs out of Gon's bedroom, those blue eyes big and taking him in. His eyes light up when he sees it's really Gon, only for his fur to bristle. "Gon, your foot! What did you do?" Kurapika takes a step forward, his eyes wide with concern. Killua staring at his foot as well.

"Huh?" Gon looks down, his eyes widening when he sees that his pant leg has some blood on it. He pulls up his pants to see that is ankle is bleeding. Gon must have busted it when he was running up the stairs. He does recall a sharp pain, but he kept running. "I just fell while running back here. I'm sorry I took so long Kurapika. It looks like he caused you a lot of trouble."

"You didn't have to run back here Gon. "Kurapika frowns. Killua walks over to Gon, staring at the wound before looking up at him with questioning eyes, his ears flattened.

"It's okay. I'll put some ice on it. Thank you for watching him Kurapika. You were a big help. I'm sure by now Leorio is back and wondering where you are."

"Yeah." Kurapika stare at him a moment longer. "Do you need anything? I could get Leorio to look at it-"

"I'm fine. I'm going to be a doctor too you know." Gon grins. "I'll see you tomorrow at work." Gon gives Kurapika a friendly push to the door. Kurapika stares at Gon a moment long before he nods.

"Don't push yourself okay?" Kurapika leaves, still looking back at him with concern.

"I'll try not to." Gon chuckles when Kurapika gives him a look. Gon closes the door, locking it. As soon as it's shut, Gon can feel those blue eyes burning into him.

"Gon." Killua's voice is deep laced with an emotion Gon can't place. Gon turns around to see Killua standing there, a glare on his face, his ears flattened. "Where did you go? You took so long and you're hurt! Why did you leave that guy to watch me?" Killua growls but Gon can see the hurt there, the concern and worry he must have felt while he was stuck here.

"I had to wait for Santa. He took a while, so I'm sorry." Gon can't contain his large smile, Killua's ears go back before his eyes widen, his ears perking up.

"D-Did he get her?"

"Alluka, come on out." Gon watches as Killua's eyes get so big, his chest heaving in air as the black cat jumps out of the book bag. She turns into a human quickly, tears at the corner of her eyes as she runs towards her brother, arms already out.

"Big brother!" She jumps into his arms, hugging him tightly, Killua wrapping his arms around her quickly, nuzzling her, his ears flattened, his eyes closed in relief. It's such a moving scene that Gon feels his chest tighten, a warmth greater than he's felt before.

"Alluka!" Killua's voice cracks. "You're here! He really did it. Santa really pulled through. I owe him. I owe him so much-"

"Who's Santa?" Alluka pulls back, giving her brother a questioning look. "It was Gon who saved me-"

Gon starts to wave his arms around, trying to get Alluka to stop but it's too late. Killua's ears go back for a moment, a look of confusion before his eyes widen and he looks at Gon, his ears back, his tail puffed up, his breathing uneven.

"Why the hell did you go in there? I wanted that letter to be given to Santa!-"

"And I gave it to him. But he was too busy so he sent me to do it-"

"He sent you to do it?!" Killua hisses, Alluka's ears going back from her brother's change of attitude. He lets go of Alluka to march up to Gon, grabbing him by the shirt and shaking him. "I told you I didn't want you going in that lab! Santa, that bastard! I hate him! I'll rip out his throat if he tries to come here on Christmas-"

"Killua, don't hate Santa! I chose to do it. He didn't make me do it, so if you're angry, be angry at me Killua. It was me who chose to do it." Gon watches as Killua's eyes flash and he grinds his teeth. Gon's eyes widen when Killua slams him into the wall, baring his teeth at him.

"Why are you such an idiot?! You know what they could have done to you? Those sick bastards would have their way with you, they would force you to do disgusting things. They would do experiments on you, or worse, they would fuck you to death. You understand me?! You could be dead right now! Or be wishing you were. You dumb ass! And look! You're injured! Why are you so stupid!"

Killua is screaming in Gon's face, his nails digging into him, his ears back, his pupils trembling. His eyes are dark but there's something fragile about the way Killua is looking at him, his voice is wavering.

"If I'm stupid for saving your sister and making sure you stay here, then yeah, I am stupid. I knew the risks, Killua, and I didn't care. All I was thinking about was getting your sister out of there and seeing you smile. I could have died, I could have been tortured, but it didn't happen. I'm here Killua. I'm okay. And Alluka is here now. It's okay."

Gon wraps his arms around Killua, pushing his head into his shoulder. Killua tenses, his body starting to tremble. "I'm sorry I worried you Killua. I just couldn't stand thinking about you going back there. I couldn't stand thinking about them hurting you again. I needed to go."

"Don't ever do that shit again." Killua holds onto him, his ears flattened. "I don't get why you feel the need to do all this for me. What you did was crazy but..." Killua trembles, nuzzling his head against Gon. "T-thank you." He turns away from Gon and quickly runs over to Alluka, hugging her tightly, burying his face in her hair. "I'm sorry I was such a bad big brother. I should have ran away with you from the start."

"It's okay, big brother." Alluka nuzzles her brother, glancing over at Gon with curious eyes. She doesn't say anything and her eyes widen slightly when she feels the wetness on her shoulder. Alluka knows he started crying over Gon. What Gon did, the danger he was put through. Already she's starting to paint a picture of just how much Gon means to her big brother.

Gon smiles watching the two. His eyes widen when he sees how Alluka is bleeding on her arm and the back of her neck. "Alluka! When did you get hurt?"

"Huh?" Alluka looks over at him. Her ears perk up before flattening, and she swallows.

"What? I thought you did that to get the tracking devices out." Killua pulls away to look at his sister, his eyes are back to normal like nothing happened. His ears go back when Alluka looks pale.

"W-Well...Gon didn't only bring me back."

"What?" Gon and Killua say at the same time only to tense when they hear a meow. Gon looks down to see a cat with yellow eyes gleaming at him.

"Gon get away from him!" Killua grabs Gon and pulls him over to where Alluka is just as the cat starts to turn. Gon swallows thickly at this large man that is now in his home. From his calves to his shoulders, this man is built. His abs could be used to wash clothes! Gon tries not to look at the intimidating length between his thighs as he locks eyes with those slanted yellow ones.

"Hisoka." Killua hisses out, his tail puffed up. He stands in front of Gon and Alluka. "Get out." His eyes turn dark, his pupils becoming longer.

"How rude! Is that anyway to treat the person who saved this little one's life?" Hisoka glances at Gon.

"If not for me, he would have been captured before he could even open the door to Alluka's room. I also took out the devices for Alluka. Be nicer to me." Hisoka purrs, his reddish tail waving behind him.

This guy looks a lot older...maybe close to thirty? There's something dangerous about him too, something that gets Gon to shiver slightly.

"I don't care what you did. Get out. You only want to cause trouble. Go back to the lab where you belong." Killua snarls.

"You also belong there Killua. How mean. Why should you get to have this human all to yourself?" Hisoka suddenly locks eyes with Gon, this strange look on his face. "As soon as I saw those amber eyes burning with that spirit...ohhh, I knew I liked you~. Now that I get to see your face completely, you're a pretty one, little one. No doubt if those scientists found you they would have done despicable things to you." Hisoka licks his lips, those yellow eyes gleaming in excitement when Killua gets in front of Gon, hissing at him.

"Keep your eyes to yourself pervert! You're not going to touch him. Leave now before things get bad for you."

"You're being awfully mean to me Killua. If not for me, Gon would be dead. I see that you've made yourself comfortable, your scent is everywhere. It's even on the human himself. You've claimed this place, but I'm going to be staying here. It was getting boring at the lab, living here seems much more interesting at the moment~"'

Gon frowns, opening his mouth to say something but Killua takes a step forward, his ears back and his tail puffed up.

"You don't want to live here. You want to mess with us. Go back to my brother and stay or I'll rip that smirk right off your face-" Killua crouches down, looking like he's about to pounce.

"Now, now." Hisoka's eyes light up in excitement. "I'd love to crush you, Killua but I didn't come here for that. If you try to attack me, I will kill your sister. If you try to protect your sister, I'll kill Gon. You know you can't protect them and fight me." Killua tenses, his ears going back and he grinds his teeth.

"If I leave, I'll bring the humans right to you. I wonder what they would do to Gon? He's a traitor to his country now. They would love to strip him down and make him scream-"

"Stop!" Gon shouts when he sees how much Killua is shaking, his pupils becoming pinpoint. Gon marches over to Hisoka who blinks, looking at him with his eyebrow raised. "Stop saying stuff like that and upsetting Killua. I don't mind you staying but I'm not going to let you do what you want. So no more talk about the lab. That's behind us now. This is your new life." Hisoka tilts his head at him, his tail waving behind him.

"Gon! You can't be serious! We don't have enough food to feed him! And this place isn't that big and he's a creep! The only reason he's here is because he wants to cause trouble-" Killua starts.

" We'll think of something." Gon locks eyes with Hisoka. "Tell me the truth, why do you want to live here?"

"Because you interest me." Hisoka smirks. "You're a human that risked everything just to save a experiment to make another experiment happy.. The look on your face while you were doing it was delicious as well. If Killua has marked you, you must be a keeper. I want to see what kind of life you've been giving Killua in this home." Hisoka walks closer, Gon doesn't back down. He leans closer, rubbing his head against Gon's head. "So, really, I just want to play house cat with you at bit, little one~. I won't tell the humans of what you've done if you just let me stay here. I want to be entertained."

Killua growls and gets closer so Gon moves away from Hisoka, and holds out his arm to stop Killua.

"Fine. You can stay here."

"What?" Killua and Alluka seem alarmed. Hisoka looks way too happy.

"Both you and Alluka need to wear clothes while in human form just like Killua does. So I'm going to get something for you guys to wear." Gon turns and walks into the bedroom, Killua grabbing his sister's hand and leading her after Gon.

"Gon, are you serious? You can't let him stay here-"

"But if I don't, you two will fight and I don't want anyone getting hurt. And if he leaves and gets the scientists, that would be a big problem." Gon looks back at Killua whose ears have flatten.

"M-Maybe it won't be so bad to have Hisoka here." Alluka tries, but even she doesn't look so sure.

"Is he really that bad?" Gon raises his eyebrow.

"...yeah." Killua looks up at Gon, his eyes bright with this fire. "I will protect this home. You've done so much for me Gon. I owe you..." Killua looks down when Gon smiles too brightly at him, his ears flattening.

"You don't owe me anything. I wanted to Killua! It will be okay." Gon chuckles as he searches through his clothes. Killua closes his eyes tightly, his tail waving behind him. He finds some old shirt and pants and hands them to Alluka. "I'm sorry Alluka, I only have guys clothes."

"That's okay." She smiles, taking the clothes gratefully. Gon starts looking for larger clothes for Hisoka while Killua and Alluka get dressed. He finds a big shirt and some sweatpants that might fit the large man.

When he walks into the living room, Hisoka is look around, his yellow eyes taking in the Christmas tree before looking at the couch and kitchen. "This place is cute." He looks over at Gon, taking the clothes.

"It's a nice place. Try these on. They might be too small." Gon watches as Hisoka gets the pants on with no problem. They are high-waters on him though. The shirt is on too, but it's a bit too small, Gon can see his belly button. "Yeah, just wear this for now. I'll have to get you some new clothes."

"I like the tightness." Hisoka purrs, touching over his new clothes. "Mmm they smell like you~"

"Ugh, now he's going to stink up your clothes." Killua grumbles as he walks out with Alluka, holding her hand.

"Killua, let's be nice. We're about to finish putting up the Christmas tree!" Gon cheers, trying to get some harmony in his home. This isn't what he was expecting when he came back from the lab but if having Hisoka is the only way he can have Killua here safely, than Gon is okay with him. They'll work everything out.

Gon's eyes widen when Killua suddenly grabs his wrist, pulling him over to the couch. He pushes Gon down so he'll sit, his blue eyes staring him down.

"Forget about the tree. Have you forgotten about your injury?" Killua crouches down, lifting up Gon's pant leg, those pupils getting bigger when he lands on the wound that is bleeding a decent amount . "Alluka, there's a kit in the bathroom that has bandages, can you get it?"

"Sure." Alluka runs off quickly.

"Killua, it's okay. It's not too bad-"

"I don't care what it is. You're going to be a doctor, right? Learn to take care of yourself first, idiot." Killua grumbles, his ears flattening, staring at the wound. "Think about yourself for once!"

"Killua..." Gon frowns when Alluka comes back, having the kit. "I can wrap myself up-"

"I'll do it." Killua snaps, opening up the kit himself. "I've watched you do it a lot. I can do it. Alluka could you please get me some ice in a bag?"

"Yes!" Alluka runs off, her ears perked up, those eyes bright from being able to help.

"Killua ,you don't have to-" Gon tries, not liking how stressed out Killua is getting over just a small wound on his ankle. Gon has been through worse.

"I want to." Killua looks up at Gon, glaring at him, those blue eyes daring him to fight back. "Let me do something for you for once, damn it."

Gon stares at those blue eyes a moment before he nods, giving in to Killua. He watches as Killua puts some ice near his wound, Gon closing his eyes from the pain he feels. Killua watches him carefully, his ears back.

"My, my. Such expressions from you Killua, I didn't know that you could make. All for this human. I've never seen you get so worked up." Hisoka purrs, those eyes watching them with interest.

Killua's shoulders stiffen but he ignores the comment as he cleans the wound and wraps it up, much like Gon had done with his wounds.

"Thank you, Killua." Gon smiles tiredly, everything he did today starting to catch up to him since he's sat down.

"Don't thank me." He mumbles, standing up. He stares at Gon a moment longer before sighing. "You're exhausted. It's time for you to sleep."

"But the tree-"

"We'll deal with that another time." Killua glares at the tree before looking down at Gon. Alluka and Hisoka are looking at the tree curiously but they don't say anything. Gon blinks when Killua grabs his hand, helping him up. "Come on Alluka, we're going to bed."

"Okay." Alluka's ears twitch on her head as she follows Killua and Gon into their bedroom. Hisoka starts to follow only for Killua to hiss at him.

"No. You sleep out here. We're sleeping with Gon."

"Why do you get to sleep with him." Hisoka pouts. "How mean, kicking me out here all by myself-"

"Mine." Killua slams the door in his face, locking it. Gon winces when he starts to walk over to the bed, flopping down on it.

"Gon, are you going to be okay?" Alluka frowns, crawling onto the bed after him, getting close to him.

"Yeah, I'll be okay." Gon smiles at her. "I'm sorry my bed is so small."

"No, it's fine!" Alluka beams. "It's comfy!"

Gon blinks when Killua crawls into bed, moving his sister away from Gon and taking the place next to him.

"I'm not going to keep you up, but I still can't believe you." Killua mumbles, wrapping an arm around Alluka who is now laying on his chest, purring.

"I know." Gon chuckles softly, his eyes feeling heavy. He reaches out and rubs both Alluka's and Killua's hair at the same time. They both purr, Alluka tensing only to warm up to the touch when she sees how her brother is reacting. "Good night you two."

Killua's ears go back when Gon pulls away. He moves closer and starts to nuzzle his head against Gon's, grabbing his hand to put it back in his hair. Gon rubs his hair absentmindedly, his eyes fluttering shut. It feels so warm and full in his bed now. He feels Killua wrap his tail around him and there's a soft lick on his cheek.

Just when Gon is about to fall asleep, he hears Killua's voice. "...don't make my chest feel like that again." Gon is too far gone to say anything so he mumbles something. He can feel Killua's warmth still, but Killua has shifted.

Gon had saved Alluka, but he didn't know the consequences it would cause him, nor does he care..

All that matters is Killua staying and that he is safe.

* * *

 **Thanks you for your reviews! And once again, thank you to my beta reader** Anathemal **! I'm glad to see that you guys like this story. I know I haven't been writing for the others but I have t feel like writing it or it'll be all bad and rushed. Till next time!**


	7. Chapter 7

Gon wakes up when he moves his leg in his sleep, a dull pain bringing him back to consciousness. Gon yawns, looking at the time, knowing he's going to have to get up for work. He feels exhausted still. Gon forces himself up, sitting up on the bed, letting his legs dangle, licking his dry lips. He blinks when he feels movement behind him and he looks back, his heart warming when he sees Killua and Alluka curled up against each other, Alluka's head on Killua's chest, while Killua's arms are wrapped around her.

They look so comfortable and cute.

Gon gets off the bed, as soon as his weight leaves the mattress, Killua's eyes snap open. "It's time for you to go to work?" Killua glances back at Gon, watching him closely as Gon walks to his dresser, limping slightly.

"Yeah, it is." Gon grabs some clothes before limping back over to the bed, Killua's ears flatten watching him. "You two look comfortable." Gon smiles, Killua glancing at Alluka who is still asleep. Killua's eyes soften and he licks her forehead, Gon silently gushes . "I'm glad. You don't have to worry Killua, I'll take care of you all. You, and your sister." Gon takes off his boxers quickly, changing into his work clothes, Killua watching him intently like he always does.

Gon starts to walk to leave the bedroom to start making breakfast but he has to stop when Killua wiggles his way out of Alluka's arms, her ears perking up and her eyes opening. Killua crawls over to Gon quickly, getting off the bed, and getting in front of him, blocking his way out.

"Killua, it's okay, you stay and sleep with Alluka-"

"Let me change your bandage." Killua gives him a firm look, his tail waving behind him. Killua's blue eyes look at him intently.

"You can change it when I get back from work. I haven't had it on that long so we can wait." Gon smiles, reaching out to run his fingers through Killua's hair, Killua closing his eyes and leaning into the touch.

"You look really tired." Killua's ears flatten when Gon limps past him and walks into the living room.

"I'll be back, Alluka." Killua looks at his sister before following after Gon.

"I am a bit tired, but I'll be okay." Gon walks into the kitchen, noticing that Hisoka is awake, lying on the couch, his tail waving, those yellow eyes gleaming as he watches Gon and Killua. Gon opens the fridge and pulls out a plate of leftovers. They don't have much left, which will be bad with the extra mouths to feed. Honestly, Gon doesn't know how he's going to pull this off, but he has to. He can't lose Killua now. "You should teach Alluka all about Christmas while I'm gone. There might be some good movies on, too, to watch with her and Hisoka."

"I'll watch a movie with my sister." Killua glares over at Hisoka who smirks. "I'll keep an eye on this asshole for you, Gon. I will make sure your rules are followed."

"Don't get into a fight with Hisoka, now. I don't want you guys getting hurt. This is all your home now so we have to get along." Gon heats up his food, walking over to the table to sit down, Killua sitting down next to him.

"Ugh. He shouldn't even be here." Killua mumbles, his ears going back, and he hisses when Hioska walks into the kitchen, his hips swaying with the twitch of his tail.

"Good morning, little one." Hisoka sits down next to Gon, those yellow eyes gleaming. "I couldn't help to overhear that you're about to go to work. Where do you work?-"

"Don't ask him questions." Killua hits the table right when Gon was about to answer. "Gon is trying to eat before he has to go." Hisoka's eyes narrow when Killua bears his teeth.

"It's okay Killua, I have time." Gon eats come of his stuffing, looking over at Hisoka who smirks, not seeing Killua's ears going back, or the twitch of his tail. "I work as a waiter at a restaurant."

"Ohh, I see." Hisoka's voice sounds like a purr, those yellow eyes watching him as he eats. "I've read about those. I bet you get a lot of tips with how cute you are."

"Eh, not really. Some nights are good but the most tips I get are from nice older folks." Gon shakes off the older man's compliment.

"Tips?" Killua's ears go back, biting his lip when he notices that Hisoka knows more than him on the subject. When Gon doesn't look over at him, Killua's tail flicks in annoyance. "Gon." When Gon looks over at him, Killua's ears perk up. "Don't worry about the food. We'll hunt to feed ourselves. Food is low so we'll keep what's left for you."

"Be careful going out to hunt though. The lab people might be outside still. I'm sure they're not happy I stole Alluka and Hisoka." Gon frowns slightly, thinking about Killua and everyone else being outside when he's not around.

"We'll be fine. I'll keep my eyes open."

"The humans will most likely search more aggressively now. They won't stop till they find you, Gon." Hisoka purrs, those yellow eyes watching Gon's expression. He licks his lips when Gon's eyes shine with a fire.

"I'm not going to let them take you guys. This is your home. I don't care if they find me, I don't regret what I did."

"So interesting."

"You should care if they find you, Gon. Stop just thinking of others." Killua glares at Gon when he just gets up and limps over to the trash can, throwing away his paper plate.

"Instead of telling us to be careful, just be careful yourself. Look out for anyone suspicious." Killua follows after Gon, those blue eyes given way to that worry, that concern, his ears going back.

"Very interesting." Hisoka watches this closely before he gets up, following after them.

"Gon, are you leaving?" Gon looks over at Alluka who walks into the living room, rubbing at her eyes.

"Yeah I'm about to go to work." Gon smiles at her as she stands next to Killua. All three of them are staring at him intently, their tails waving behind them as Gon gets on his jacket.

"When will you be back?" Alluka's ears flatten.

"Around 8. Don't worry, your big brother is going to do fun things with you. You have nothing to worry about here." Gon smiles, walking up to Alluka, patting her on the head. Her eyes light up and she leans into the touch, purring as Gon scratches behind her ears. Killua crosses his arms, his tail flicking in annoyance. "I'll see you later, Alluka."

"Say goodbye to me properly as well." Killua snaps, getting Gon to turn his attention on Killua who looks like he's glaring at him. Gon smiles gently, Killua's glare leaving him as soon as Gon starts running his fingers through his hair. " Goodbye Killua, I'll be back later. Be good." Gon chuckles when Killua gives him a look.

"What about me, Gon?" Hisoka purrs, wrapping his arms around him suddenly, getting Gon to tense, feeling his firm chest against his arm. Killua bristles when Gon pats Hisoka on the head, not sure what else to do. Hisoka isn't cute like Alluka or Killua, so it's strange petting this taller man and hearing him purr.

"Good bye, Hisoka. Don't provoke Killua." Gon blinks when Killua grabs Hisoka, ripping him off of Gon before throwing himself at Gon, getting him to stumble back a couple of feet. "K-Killua, I have to leave for work-"

Killua glares at him, those blue eyes watching him closely, his tail wrapping around his wrist. Killua closes his eyes and turns his head, exposing his cheek. Gon stares at him a moment before he registers what he wants. Gon leans in and Kisses his cheek, Alluka's ears perking up and Hisoka's eyes gleaming.

"Ohhh, what was that? What was that?" Alluka seems excited.

"That's a kiss." Killua says confidently, grinning over at Hisoka. " It's used to show affection by the humans."

"I want one!" Alluka hugs Gon.

"I want one too~" Hisoka grabs his arm, his face leaning closer so he's speaking right in Gon's ear.

"Get off of him Hisoka. You're not getting one." Killua hisses, grabbing Gon's other arm. When Hisoka nuzzles Gon's head, Killua nuzzles the other side, Alluka nuzzling his chest. Gon is starting to feel trapped, and this would be super cute if not for the tense atmosphere and the fact he's going to be late for work at this rate.

"I know you guys don't want me to leave but I need to go now or I'm going to be late. Get off please." Gon is relieved when they all let go of him at the same time, stepping back. "I"ll be back later. Please try to keep the peace." Gon smiles at Killua who huffs, glaring over at Hisoka who looks like he's having a blast.

Gon turns and walks out of the apartment, all those cat like eyes on him as he leaves, locking the door behind him. Gon sighs, smiling to himself despite how tense his house has become. They were all fighting for his attention. Killua seemed to be getting angry whenever he would show Alluka and Hisoka his attention, but Killua is going to have to learn to deal with it. They all live together so they have to get along. Killua and Alluka get along fine, it's just when Hisoka is in the mix that Killua gets all puffed up. Killua is cute when he gets jealous. Whenever it comes to another cat, Killua can get angry quickly.

Gon chuckles thinking about it, his chest so warm. Killua marked him as his, after all. It's really cute. Gon will ignore how his heart beats faster thinking about it. His lips still tingle from kissing Killua's cheek...he's so soft-

Gon shakes his head, dismissing the thought.

Gon winces after he gets into a cab, thinking about the three alone at his house. He has a feeling he's going to come home to a very large mess.

* * *

Killua's ears flatten watching as Gon leaves and hearing the door lock. Once Gon is gone, he turns on Hisoka, glaring darkly at the taller man who has turned to smirk at him.

"Gon doesn't want you hanging on him, Hisoka. He's too nice too tell you to fuck off, so I'll do it for him."

"I don't think Gon minds. I think it's you who doesn't want me hanging on him." Hisoka sticks his hip out to the side, his tail moving behind him. "Why should you be the only one that gets to indulge in the human? Alluka likes touching him as well, don't you?"

"Well, yeah. Gon is nice-" Alluka smiles but when she sees this strange look on her brother's face, her ears flatten.

"I never thought I'd see the day." Hisoka chuckles darkly, starting to circle Killua and Alluka, those yellow eyes gleaming." Killua Zoldyck, being possessive over a human, being kissed by a human and bragging about it. What happened to wanting to kill all those 'disgusting' humans, hmm?"

"Gon is different." Killua glares at Hisoka, his shoulders tensing up. "He's not human to me. He's something different. I'm proud be his friend, someone he cares about. His kisses prove his affection for me."

"A friend?" Hioska raises an eyebrow, his lips turning up into a smirk. "What has happened to you in this month away from the lab? You've changed, but not completely. I do not care what you call Gon, but he is human. He tastes like a human, smells like one. He is the same as those scientists and you call him a friend-"

"He's not the same ." Killua hisses, getting in Hisoka's face, his pupils getting long and slanted, baring his teeth at him. "Gon is nothing like those humans. Nothing at all. Gon is pure." Killua snarls, lashing out to cut Hisoka with his nails but the larger man jumps away, Killua running after him.

"Not once has he tried to force me to do anything. He's fed me, taken care of my wounds, kept me company, let me use his bed, and now he's even saved my sister for me so I can stay. Not once has he tried to mate with me. He's not doing this for any reason other than he wants me as a friend. Does that sound like those bastards back at the lab to you? Even when I offered my body to him, he didn't want it. It's not what he's after."

"My, in this short time Killua, you've become very comfortable with his human. Despite his actions, he's still human and you still are friends with a human." Hisoka dodges another attack from Killua, those blue eyes dark and dangerous. "But, it is interesting that he turned you down, Killua. I wonder if he doesn't like men? How troublesome. I'm sure I can change his mind~"

"Gon would never want to mate with you. Keep your hands off of him." Killua's eyes flash and he looks like he's about to pounce on Hisoka.

"B-Big brother. Gon didn't want us to fight." Alluka's ears flatten. Killua seems to consider this before closing his eyes, clicking his tongue in irritation before walking away from Hisoka.

"You're right, Alluka." Killua rubs her head, Getting Alluka's ears to perk back up. "I won't let him get to me." Killua looks back at Hisoka. "I'm watching you closely. Don't even think you'll be able to do anything under my watch."

"We'll see." Hisoka licks his lips.

Killua narrows his eyes and he grips his fist. He takes a deep breath before looking at his sister. "Okay, listen up you two. There are a couple of rules in Gon's home. If you make a mess, clean up after yourself. If anyone comes over, we turn into cats. No destroying the Christmas tree. When in human form, wear clothes. Don't scratch the walls." Killua thinks to himself. "...I think that's it."

"That seems easy." Alluka smiles, her eyes lighting up. "Big brother, I still can't believe I'm back with you." She hugs Killua, burying her face in his chest. "It sounds like Gon took very good care of you. I really like Gon."

"Yeah." Killua tenses slightly but he rubs his sister's head. "I like him too." Killua's cheeks flush as he nuzzles his sister's head, closing his eyes.

"I like him, too." Hisoka purrs, walking over to the two. Killua glares at him, moving away with his sister.

"So sis, let me tell you all about this tree that the humans put up on Christmas. I'm still kind of pissed off at this guy, but there's a man named Santa who..."

* * *

"Gon, you're falling asleep standing up." Kurapika frowns when he walks into the back, seeing Gon leaning against the wall, his eyes closed, and his mouth open slightly. Gon opens his eyes and blinks at Kurapika, yawning slightly.

"Yeah. I'm really tired for some reason. I just feel drained from yesterday I suppose." Gon rubs his arm, glancing out of the kitchen to look at his tables. They all seem to be doing fine. Their drinks are filled and they're talking and eating happily. "It's not that busy today. Probably because we just had Thanksgiving. Everyone is full."

"Speaking of Thanksgiving, how are the leftovers doing? Do you still have plenty?"

"I've been really digging into it." Gon chuckles sheepishly. "It's almost gone."

"...just remember if you need help, we can give you some money, Gon. You don't have to try to do everything by yourself." Kurapika glances down at Gon's hurt leg, frowning slightly when Gon walks and he limps. "You work too hard."

"I'm fine, Kurapika. If I really need your help, I'll come to you." Gon smiles at Kurapika. "If you worry too much, you'll stress yourself out before your wedding."

"I don't worry too much Gon, Leorio worries too much. When I told him how you came home with a hurt foot... he was about to have a heart attack when I told him he couldn't go see you." Kurapika smiles when Gon chuckles. " We care about you a lot, Gon."

"I know. You two have been great." Gon smiles at Kurapika. "I care about you guys a lot, too. For the longest time you two were all I had." Gon looks at the soda machine. "I'm glad you two are getting married, and now that I have Killua, you guys don't have to worry about me being alone."

"...Killua has made you very happy." Kurapika says after awhile.

"He has." Gon looks over at Kurapika who smiles gently.

"When you talk about him, you get this look in your eyes. A very soft, fond look. You smile more easily and you just seem brighter. Killua may be a mean kitty, but I love him for the effect he's had on you."

"Really?" Gon beams when Kurapika nods his head.

"You talk about Killua a lot and when you talk about him, you're very passionate about it. When you first got Killua, it seemed a bit shaky to me but now, I'm glad you got him Gon. I really am."

"I'm glad I found him too. He's made his winter very warm for me. He makes it easier to deal with Mito's passing." Gon rubs his arm. "My home feels like my home again. I have someone to come home to and he's waiting for me. He cares about me and we sleep together and do everything together. It's an amazing feeling..." Gon's heart beats faster thinking about it, a certain tightening in his chest and stomach.

Kurapika puts a hand on Gon's shoulder, rubbing it gently. " Yes, it is." Kurapika hugs him tightly, taking a deep breath. "I'm glad Gon. I really am." Gon's eyes soften.

He knows he's been worrying Kurapika and Leorio these past couple of years. With his off and on insomnia, his strange eating patterns and this dazed look he would get sometimes. During the winter, Leorio and Kurapika are always on high alert. The past two winters he went into something close to a depression. It would always hit the hardest around Christmas and then when it started getting warmer, Gon would be broken for a bit, not himself at all. They never have said it, but Gon is sure they've been worried about his mental health. Worried that one of these winters they would come over to his house and Gon would be laying in his bed, cold, dead because he overdosed on pills. They should know Gon is stronger than that.

But it's a fear that they haven't spoken of, Gon knows they have been scared for awhile and they avoid asking about Mito because of it. They think that will trigger him.

Kurapika sounds like he's about to cry he's so relieved. They get too worried about him. Gon would never end himself, no matter how painful it gets. Mito would never have wanted something like that.

"Ohh, who is this Killua?" Gon tenses when he looks over at Knuckle, his boss grinning at the two hugging. "I couldn't help to overhear that last part. It sounds to me like you've gotten a lover!"

"A lover?" Gon's heart skips a beat. Killua?...a lover? An image of those light blue eyes flash through his mind, that pale skin and that smile that Killua his sometimes when he's really happy about something...Gon swallows thickly. "N-No, I just have a cat at home."

"What? You didn't tell me you got a cat! I offered you a kitten when my cat had babies, but you didn't want one. I thought you said you weren't a cat person." Knuckle's eyebrow twitches.

"I wasn't but Killua is special." Gon shakes his head quickly, chuckling when Knuckle keeps glaring at him.

"Special huh? How special? My babies are adorable."

"Killua is really special. He's even cuter than your babies-"

"Don't you dare! Look at these pictures and tell me he's cuter than them-"

"Knuckle, are you talking about your cats again?" Shoot walks out of the kitchen, the usually quiet man sighing. "You're not going to have any space in your house at this rate you know? You have so many animals-"

"Most of them are rescued animals. I might not have space but I can't just throw them out." Knuckle looks like he's getting emotional so Gon decides it's time to check on his tables. Gon gives Kurapika a smile that he returns as they both walk out to wait on their tables.

Gon can't get what Knuckle said out of his head. It sounded like he was talking about a lover. But that statement was so wrong. Killua is his friend and nothing more. They care about each other. But saying their lovers means they'll do intimate things. They're not lovers-

Gon's stomach churns when an image comes to his mind, Killua laying in his bed, his back turned to him, the blanket on his waist. His curves noticeable, the top of his small bottom can be seen-

Gon ends up dropping number 3's drink on the father at the table. "I-I'm sorry! I'll get you a towel." Gon apologizes quickly, running as fast as he can into the kitchen, his heart beating so fast in his chest.

Why? Why did he have that mental image? Why did he react to it?

Killua trusts him. He made Gon's place his home. Acting like this, thinking like this...Gon is breaking his trust.

They can't be lovers. Knuckle was mistaken. Gon will ignore how he yearned for that word, his mind thinking of all the interactions with Killua that seemed like they were lovers but he quickly shook it off.

After Gon cleans up table three, he goes into the bathroom and throws up, his stomach churning and becoming too much.

Really, having thoughts like that, acting like that, he'll be just like them. Gon pukes more at the thought.

Killua is his friend. His warmth. These thoughts need to stop. His body needs to stop. Killua is another man, but it doesn't seem to stop him.

Gon feels sick to his stomach for the rest of his shift.

* * *

"I'm back." Gon calls as soon as he opens the door. He can't help to smile despite how he feels when he sees that all three of them are standing near the door, waiting for him.

"Gon! Killua taught us all about Santa and we made Christmas lists!" Alluka jumps up and down, holding out a piece of paper, her eyes a light in wonder. "We watched movies too! And I helped big brother prepare you food!"

"Sounds like you guys had a good time." Gon beams at how happy Alluka looks, locking the door behind him. He pats her on the head, getting the young girl to purr.

"Come on, let's get you something to eat and I can clean your wound." Killua grabs Gon's hand, pulling him away from Alluka, leading him into the kitchen. Both Hisoka and Alluka following after them. "Hisoka ate some of the chicken when I wasn't looking so we have less food." Killua glares darkly at Hisoka.

"I didn't eat that much. I just wanted a taste." Hisoka sits next to Gon, Alluka sitting next to her brother at the table.

"That's okay. I have some money. I'll go shopping soon." Gon reassures Killua, reaching out and running his hands through Killua's hair, getting him to lean into the touch and to purr, that irritation that was growing on his face slowly leaving him. "Thanks for getting this ready for me guys."

"You're welcome." All three say at the same time. Killua glares at Hisoka who only smiles sweetly.

"Did you guys eat?" Gon looks over at Killua whose ears perk up from those amber eyes being on him.

"Yeah. We went out to hunt. We're full. There wasn't any signs of those bastards from the lab either so don't worry. Nothing happened when we went out." Killua watches as Gon starts to eat, those amber eyes getting soft from his relief, licking his dry chapped lips.

"Little one, you look so tired." Hisoka moves closer, nuzzling his head on Gon's shoulder. Gon doesn't really mind it, but it is a bit strange having a man like Hisoka rubbing all over him, his tail waving behind him in a pleased way. Gon is too tried to fight it anyway.

Killua's blue eyes narrow, his tail flicking in looks at Gon expectantly but Gon is just trying to focus on getting something down and keeping it down. He just doesn't feel good.

"Gon, today I caught a bird all by myself! I drew a picture for you too." Alluka beams.

"Aw, really?" Gon smiles at Alluka who nods her head. He chuckles. "Thank you. I'd love to see it."

"Okay, I'll go get it!" Alluka runs off excitedly. Killua glares, his shoulders getting more tense when Hisoka starts to hang on Gon more.

"I kept the house clean for you, Gon. Hisoka broke something, and I cleaned up after him. I told them the rules, too." Killua moves closer, rubbing his head on Gon's arm before leaning up to nuzzle his head.

"Thank you, Killua." Gon smiles over at him but having Killua brushing against him is making him feel warm. Gon tries to put more food into his mouth but he finds that he can't. Gon tenses when Hisoka licks his cheek. Killua sees this, his glare so dark before he licks Gon's other cheek. This is starting to get dangerous when Hisoka licks the shell of his ear, breathing into it. Killua is about to do the same thing when Gon stands up quickly. "D-Don't lick me so much."

Killua's ears go back and Hisoka gives him this innocent smile.

"I was just showing you affection, little one."

"You creeped him out." Killua snarls, standing up, bearing his teeth. "He doesn't want your affection."

Gon rubs his head, Killua's ears perking up and he turns his head quickly to him as if he's just realized something. "Gon, you didn't eat all your food."

"That's okay, I'm not really hungry. You guys can have it." Gon waves him off, turning around and walking into the living room. He smiles when Alluka runs over to him, holding out a paper for him to look at. She drew what looks to be Gon smiling with three cats surrounding him. In the picture they all look so happy. The headache Gon was starting to get goes away and he takes the picture. "Thank you, Alluka. I really like it."

"You do?" Alluka giggles her ears perking up when she gets another head rub from Gon.

"Gon you really should eat. You didn't have that much this morning." Killua walks after him. He stops when he sees the exchange between Alluka and Gon. His face gets blank, looking between the two.

"...Yeah, my sister is a really good drawer."

"She is." Gon watches how her eyes get brighter from her brother saying that. Gon blinks when Killua suddenly pushes him gently so he sits down on the couch. He stares into those blue eyes as Killua touches his cheek softly, his fingers moving to touch his lips. "Killua?"

"Open your mouth."

Gon raises his eyebrow but he opens his mouth. Killua sticks his finger inside, Gon's eyes widening in surprise. "You're dehydrated. Have you been drinking fluids today? You've been wincing as well." Killua's finger leaves his mouth, he touches the bags under Gon's eyes. "You really do look tired. More than usual. Did something happen at work?"

"No...not really." Gon averts his gaze from those blue eyes, his stomach twisting in guilt. He did this to himself. "It was just a long day at the job. I accidentally spilled soda on one of my consumers and they got pretty mad."

"Did they try to do something to you?" Killua's eyes suddenly get serious.

"No, I'm fine, Killua. I'm just tired. It's okay. I'll be better tomorrow." Gon smiles. Killua stare at him a moment before he walks into the kitchen and gets him a glass of water.

"Drink this. I'm going to go get the kit to change your wounds." Killua walks off quickly, his back straight and his tail waving slowly behind him.

"Big brother gets worried about you." Alluka crawls so she's sitting next to Gon on the couch. Those blue eyes are looking at him curiously. "He told us a lot about you today!"

"Yes, he did. All he wanted to talk about was you." Hisoka chuckles, walking into the room, his hips seem to sway much more than they should as he sits next to Gon, smirking. Yellow and dark blue eyes are watching him intently now.

"I talk about him a lot too." Gon smiles but he feels like every little move he makes is being marked down by the two next to him. "I treasure our friendship and I think Killua does too."

"Treasure isn't the word I would use." Hisoka hums, getting closer. "The way he talks...it makes me wonder." Hisoka gets close to his ear before pulling away. "Do you know how old Killua is?"

"Huh?" Gon blinks from the change in topic. Gon doesn't mind though. He tries to think to himself but he doesn't know the answer. "No, I don't know how old he is."

"What are you guys talking about?" Gon glances back at Killua who has just walked back into the room his ears perked up, his face looks flushed slightly. "Don't talk about me as soon as I leave the room." He hisses at Hisoka as he walks past him, standing in front of Gon with the kit in his hand.

"We were just talking about how much you were speaking about Gon today-"

"I heard." Killua snaps, getting on his knees in front of Gon, hiding his face from the human. "But you were also talking about my age."

"You don't want him knowing your age?" Hisoka raises his eyebrow.

Killua doesn't respond. He opens the kit and starts getting everything out, his eyes focused on the work.

"I'm 7 months old!" Alluka cheers, throwing her arms in the air, getting Gon to sputter and to look at her with wide eyes.

"7 months? How is that possible-"

"That's her age in cat years." Killua mumbles.

"So how old are you as a human?"

"12 years." Alluka smiles. Gon's eyes widen.

"You're only 12? But you look older than that." Gon stares at Alluka intently who seems to enjoy the attention. Gon frowns. "Do you guys age like cats? So when a year goes by, you'll age 12 years?-"

"No. We age as you humans do." Hisoka watches as Killua keeps working on Gon's leg, cutting the bandages before cleaning it. Gon winces slightly, Killua looking up at him, his ears going back. "So in a year, Alluka will be 13 and she will be 8 months in cat years."

"Oh..." Gon's eyebrows furrow as he tries to take all that in.

"The scientist like to say our age in cat years, not human. They say we will live longer than normal humans." Killua's eyebrows furrow at this. He puts some cream on Gon's wound before wrapping it up.

"Some of the swelling has gone down Gon..." Killua says quietly.

"Wow. You guys will live longer than normal humans? How old can you get?"

"The scientists said we can live to be about 130." Hisoka smirks when Gon's eyes light up in bewilderment.

"Wow! That's amazing!" Gon smiles at Killua but he's not looking at him. "How old are you, Killua?"

"I'm 13 months." He says, finishing up Gon's bandaging. Gon stares at him a moment, his eyebrows furrowing. Okay, so if 7 months is 12 years...how much is 13 months-"

"He's 16 in human years." Hisoka does the math for him. Gon's stomach sinks, his eyes widening. Killua catches this expression, and his ears go back. Gon looks away from Killua. His stomach is turning again. Killua looks older than 16. Gon had thought...He's going to be sick again. Gon stands up quickly and rushes to the bathroom.

"Gon!" Killua runs after him, Alluka and Hisoka's ears perking up. Gon runs into the bathroom and pukes into the toilet. Killua's eyes widen as Gon keeps throwing up into the toilet, his ears flattening watching Gon. 'What's wrong? Have you gotten sick?" Killua moves closer, seeming unsure of what he should do. "The food didn't smell bad to me-"

"It's not the food...I just haven't been feeling good Killua." Gon wipes his mouth. He holds his stomach, staring into the toilet, looking at the chucks of food he didn't digest yet. Disgusting. Gon feels gross. Killua is only 16 years old. He's a baby and Gon has been looking at him and...having these wrong thoughts. His body has been reacting to his touch and to words like lover.

"...will it stop?" Killua walks towards him. Gon tensing up when he feels his gentle touch on his back. "Do you need medication?"

"No, it will go away." Gon hopes it will go away. He sits there for a moment, closing his eyes when Killua starts to nuzzle his head into Gon's back, wrapping his arms around him.

"You're very warm. You should drink more water." Killua mumbles, reaching up to touch the back of Gon's neck. Gon closes his eyes. He's 16. He's a rape victim. He's been through so much. Show some restraint. Gon's expression becomes painful when Killua starts to kiss his head, running his fingers through his hair in a way to comfort him but it's causing him more problems.

"Killua, could you get me some water? I'll meet you in the living room." Gon swallows and it tastes bad.

"Okay, I'll get you some water." Killua's ears perk up and he gets up quickly, running out of the room. Gon stands up and turns on the sink, splashing water into his face and mouth. Gon takes a deep breath before he turns off the sink and flushes the toilet.

He's so young... Gon walks out of the bathroom, walking back into the living room. Hisoka and Alluka look at him, Alluka's ears flatten while Hisoka is looking at him curiously.

"Move your ass, Hisoka, he's sitting on the couch and he doesn't need you all on him. He's not feeling well." Killua hisses, Hisoka gets up without a fight, Gon walking over and sitting on the couch. He smiles at Killua when he hands him the water. Gon drinks it gratefully, averting his gaze from Killua's blue eyes that watch him carefully, a slight frown on his face, his ears back. Gon swallows quickly when Killua curls up next to him, going back to rubbing his hair and rubbing on him.

"Gon, are you sick?" Alluka frowns, her ears flatten. "Will you be okay?"

"I'll be fine Alluka." Gon smiles at her.

"Gon, you ran out before I could tell you about my age." Hisoka pouts, walking closer.

"How old are you?" Gon locks eyes with those strange yellow, trying to distract himself from Killua. He doesn't mind that Alluka has started to nuzzle his shoulder.

"I'm 2 years old." Hisoka smirks, poking out his hip, looking Gon up and down. "Which is 25 in human years."

"So I was right. You are older than me." Gon sigh in relief. At least they're not all younger than him. Also, when Hisoka licks him and touches him, he doesn't have to worry about the warmth.

"Yes, I am. I'm very...experienced as well." Hisoka crawls towards him, laying his head on Gon's lap, smirking up at him. "So if you want a human grown up conversation, Gon..." His fingers brush up Gon's thigh, getting him to tense slightly. "Then you can come to me." He purrs.

"I'm experienced as well, Hisoka. Gon has been talking to me about human things. He doesn't need to talk to you when he has me." Killua snarls, his ears going back at seeing how Hisoka is touching Gon, and Gon's muscles are constricting. "My age doesn't mean anything."

"Age is a big thing to humans, though." Hisoka purrs, getting Killua frown.

"What do you mean?"

"Humans choose friends related to age and their mates." Hisoka's tail swishes behind him.

"It doesn't matter the age Killua when it comes to friends. Don't worry." Gon sees how Killua's ears go back. They perk back up when Gon says that.

"How old are you Gon?" Killua asks, getting closer to Gon, his ears going back when Gon tenses slightly.

"I'm 22." Gon averts his gaze. Feeling too warm with Killua hanging on him and Hisoka in his lap, rubbing his thigh in a suggestive way.

"We're only 6 years apart." Killua grins. Killua doesn't understand. Most people would consider that a big gap and with Killua younger than 18, this thoughts are really unacceptable.

"And we're only three years apart Gon." Hisoka purrs, getting Killua to glare at him.

"Yeah." Gon reaches over and absentmindedly starts to scratch behind Hisoka's ear. Hisoka purrs, leaning into the touch, a smirk on his lips. Gon is still trying to get his thoughts together so he doesn't notice how Killua's face drops at the attention he's showing Hisoka. Killua frowns deeply when Gon keeps running his hands through Hisoka's hair, not glancing over at him.

"G-Gon-" Killua starts, his ears flattening when he scratches behind Hisoka's ears, the older man closing his eyes, purring.

"Look!" Alluka suddenly jumps up, getting Gon to snap out of his thoughts. "It's a kiss!" She points at the TV. Gon glances over at the TV, seeing a man and a woman kissing on the lips. "But it's different than the kiss you gave big brother right?"

"Yes. That kiss is for mates. It's how humans show they want to mate." Killua explains, his ears perking up when Gon stops petting Hisoka.

"I see." Hisoka sudden leans up. Gon's eyes widen when Hisoka's lips are suddenly on his. It all happened so fast. His breath hitches when he feels Hisoka's tongue brush against his teeth. Hisoka's kiss is rougher, not like how Killua had kissed him the first time-

"Get off of him!" Killua shouts, shoving Hisoka off of him. Scratching his chest, opening up his flesh. Killua gets in front of Gon, hissing at Hioska. "He's not your mate! You have no right to kiss him like that! He's not feeling well either you bastard-" Killua glances back at Gon, his shoulders tensing when he sees the soft blush on Gon's cheek and how he's covering his mouth. "...Gon?-"

"I need to go to the bathroom again." Gon stands up and starts to limp away quickly. He gets into the bathroom and closes the door behind him. He sits down on the toilet, holding his head in his hands.

Gon can't throw up anymore. He's gotten rid of everything in his system. He's so warm right now, his blush won't go away. It wasn't necessarily Hisoka's kiss that did it, it had a little to do with it from the shock of it all but then Gon started thinking about Killua's lips, and it went downhill from there.

Gon wishes he could blame this on not getting out enough. Maybe what Leorio has been saying all these years has been right but Gon couldn't get with someone just to be physical. That's not how he is. But Gon is a healthy young man with urges and it makes him sick that Killua has become one of them. Gon wants to stay in here forever but he knows he still has to feed and take care of everyone. They're counting on him. So whatever strange urges he has, he has to ignore them. For Killua's sake. For his own sake.

Gon curses to himself when he feels the tightening of his pants. Hisoka might be an issue. The way he was talking, Gon knew he was coming on to him. He doesn't need that kind of relationship with any of these people. Hisoka is a handsome man but these urges aren't for him. Gon wonders if he would feel better if they were for him.

Gon is about to take a very cold shower when he hears scratching at his door.

"Gon?" Killua's voice is filled with uncertainty and concern.

"I'm okay Killua. I'm just about to take a shower."

"I want to come in." Killua starts messing with the door knob.

"I'm taking a shower-"

"I've come in while you're taking a shower before." Killua insists. "Let me in." Killua starts scratching at the door again. Gon knows how Killua doesn't like being shut out. If Gon doesn't let him in, he might break down the door.

Gon sighs, accepting his fate, walking over to the door and unlocking it. He turns quickly to give Killua his back, trying to hide all evidence of his problem. All he has to do is get in and pull the curtain.

Killua likes to just be in the room with him. Recently he started to follow him around everywhere. He'll do his own thing but he likes being in the same room as him.

"Gon." Said man's shoulders stiffen at that deep voice. He hears Killua close the door behind him, the air feeling much tighter. Like there's not enough room. "Has his kiss made you sick again?"

"No...I'm okay. Today has just been long." Gon takes off his shirt, closing his eyes when Killua walks closer.

"I could kill him." Killua's voice gets low, a hiss. "He knew what that kiss meant and he did it anyway. It obviously affected you-"

"Killua, don't fight with Hisoka. I don't want to have to worry about you guys hurting each other. I want this place to be safe for all of you. The kiss was harmless. It didn't mean anything." Gon frowns, not knowing if that's completely true or not on Hisoka's side. Gon's eyes widen when Killua suddenly walks quickly, getting in front of him. Gon backs away, his heart beating faster in his chest.

"You smell like sweat." Killua's eyes scan him, Gon tries to turn his body to hide his growing problem but Killua is one to find details. "You're aroused. That's why you smell different." Killua's voice gets lower, and Gon thinks he's going to die.

"T-This thing happens sometimes! I'm just going to take a shower to get rid of it. Don't look at it!"

Gon's face keeps getting redder when Killua just stares straight down at his bulge. This is shameful.

"It was his kiss wasn't it?" Killua's ears go back. "Hisoka set you off by kissing you like a mate. He's made you like this."

"It wasn't really all him-" Gon groans, stopping himself from saying anymore. He holds his head in his hands. He just wants to sleep at this point. "This is why I didn't want you in Killua. This is..." Gon gets this pained look on his face, Killua's ears flattening.

Gon's heart leaps in his throat when Killua pushes him against the wall. "Killuaaah." Gon started to question but the boy just grabbed the bulge in his pants and squeezed. He went right for it.

"Don't touch i-it!" Gon pulls Killua away, his face so red. Killua's eyes are serious, his tail waving behind him.

"It's painful, isn't it? When you humans get like this it's painful, right? Those scientists would talk as if they didn't mate with someone, they would die. When they got in the mood, they didn't hold back. Now you are like this Gon. Hisoka is the one who set you off and I don't want you t be in pain. If there's one thing I know, it's how to make you humans feel good. Let me help you Gon-" As Killua is talking, his hand pressed against his stomach before lowering slowly, his muscles twitching with every soft touch. When Killua gets to the top of his pants, Gon's body jerks and he grabs a hold of Killua's arm quickly, stopping him.

His pants are so tight it's painful now, and his heart is racing, his mind humming. There's this voice in the back of his head, the voice of temptation trying to rationalize this. Gon won't listen. Killua is offering his body to him once again. Gon won't do it to him. He won't take advantage of him. Killua means too much to him…

That's why he feels so sick.

"Killua, you don't need to do that for me. Cold water does the trick easily. It's not too painful. Those humans were just monsters with no self control. I'm not like them." Gon swallows. "Killua, you don't have to do anything to repay me. Just you being here is enough. So please don't push your body on me when it's painful for you. I don't want you to remember them. I don't want you to hate me as you hate them-"

"I don't and I won't. Gon if it's you I..." Killua's cheeks flush, his ears flattening. " I just want to help you. I'm not pushing myself to do anything. Don't flatter yourself."

"If you want to help me Killua, you can do so by rubbing by hair later tonight." Gon smiles, ignoring the issue that got him in this situation in the first place. "I like it."

"I will rub your hair." Killua's eyes light up but his ears go back when Gon turns on the shower, checking to make sure it's cold. "Will cold water be good for you sickness? Gon...I..." Killua pale face gets tinged pink. "I don't mind, you know?"

Gon pulls down his pants and boxers in one go. He jumps into the shower, shivering from the freezing water but he needs it. He can feel his restraint starting to slip.

"I mind, Killua." Gon shakes his head. " You're so young...What those scientists did to you was wrong. They taught you that the only things that make humans happy his death and sex. They hurt you. and now that you're in a safe environment, you don't know how to pay me back. So you go back to what they taught you. That's why you keep offering your body to me. But you don't need to do anything for me. Killua. You already make my life so much brighter. Without you, around this time I would have had trouble getting out of bed. Now that I have you sleeping next to me, I get up with a kick to my step because I know I'm working hard to support you and that when I come home, you'll be there waiting for me." Gon swallows thickly, laying his hot face against the cold tile. "

You're precious to me. Killua. I don't want you to have to feel like you have to do something like this here. You're away from that life now."

Killua doesn't respond for the longest time. If not for his shadow when Gon glances at the curtain, he might have thought he left.

"Gon..." Killua's voice sounds different. Strained. He's silent for a moment. " You also...I..." Killua's tail waves behind him restlessly. Silence falls once again and this time no one breaks it. Gon is able to get of his erection and while he's in the shower he just bathes himself, not caring he got the bandage wet.

"Killua. could you hand me a towel?"

"Here." Killua grabs a towel and hands it to him through the curtain. Gon takes it and dries off before wrapping it around his waist. Gon pulls back the curtain, seeing Killua is standing near by, his tail still moving restlessly, his pale flesh has more color. Those blue eyes have a certain light to them that he hides away when Gon looks at him.

"Was it really okay to leave your sister out there alone?" Gon tilts his head at Killua. His ears perk up and he quickly runs out of the bathroom. "Oh? Did he forget?" Gon takes a deep breath, looking at himself in the mirror. Killua is precious to him. That's the truth. So these thoughts, these desires, he needs to kill. How can he protect Killua if he also has to protect him from himself? Killua is healing. Killua might offer his body to him but he has to turn him done. If he accepts, Gon would be no better than those scientist and Killua would be damaged.

Gon walks into his bedroom and grabs some boxers to put on. He flops onto his bed, feeling drained once again. He needs to go shopping tomorrow as well. He needs to get clothes for Alluka and Hisoka. Gon's eyes start to sleep shut. He can hear Killua's voice in the other room, but he can't wait for him. Today has really jerked him around emotionally. He's been denying that he's been lusting after Killua but after today he can't brush it off. It's an issue. Killua is 16 years old. He's a baby. Gon reaction like this is horrible.

Gon falls asleep alone in his bed, and it's the first time in a month he's felt like shit.

* * *

"Alluka!" Killua runs into the living room, his ears back, his pupils pinpoint. He jerks to a stop when he sees Alluka on the floor, coloring something with Hisoka coloring in front of her.

"Oh, hi big brother!" Alluka smiles, waving her hand in the air. She frowns soon after. "Is Gon okay? Did he get sick again?"

"Or did he have another problem?" Hisoka licks his lips, those yellow eyes gleaming when Killua tenses slightly.

"Gon had another problem, thanks to you kissing him like a mate. Do that again and I'll castrate you."

Killua's eyes get dark before he walks over to his sister, sitting nod next to her. "What are you coloring, sis?" Killua's eyes soften when he looks at his sister, moving on from the conversation, the warning hanging in the air. "I'm sorry I left you with this creep."

"That's okay! I'm coloring in this tree." Alluka beams.

"How mean, Killua." Hisoka pouts. "Tell me Killua..." Hisoka smirks. "Did you take care of Gon's little problem?"

Killua glares over at him. "No. He used cold water." Killua doesn't avert his gaze. "I offered, but he turned me down. Even now Gon is looking out for me. Even when he's in need, he's thinking about me. He called me precious." Killua's blue eyes light up and he smirks at Hisoka who blinks.

"Hmm...but he turned you down? That's interesting though, isn't it? No human has ever turned you down." Hisoka's eyes gleam when Killua's smirk slowly starts to leave him. "Are you sure he's looking out for you, or is it that he doesn't want you taking care of that problem for him?" Killua's eyes narrow but his shoulders have tensed up. "I bet I know why he turned you down."

"...why?" Killua finds himself asking, despite his better judgment. He shouldn't even care. Gon is just caring, that's why he turned him down...but his stomach is twisting and his chest is seizing up thinking about Gon turning him down because...it's him. Because he doesn't want him helping him like that.

Killua can't help to think if it was someone else, would Gon have accepted the help?

"Because, you're too young. It's a turn off." Hisoka purrs when he sees how Killua's face drops. "Me on the other hand, my age is perfect for him."

"A turn off?" Killua repeats, his ears going back. He can't help to remember that Gon did say something about him being so young.

"Big brother?" Alluka frowns at the change in her brother. She grabs his sleeve and starts to tug at it.

"He'd never mate with you. He thinks of you like a child. Not a man, not a person to mate with."

Hisoka's eyes gleam when he sees how his words are getting Killua worked up. "Me, on the other hand, I have a good chance of getting in his pants. I'm sure that if I would have gone in there instead of you, he'd let me help him out-"

"You're wrong." Killua snarls, standing up quickly. He grips his fists, the veins in his hands getting distended, his pupils getting larger. His blood lust is leaking out, Alluka's ears flattening while Hisoka's ears go back and he stands up. He smirks.

"That look on your face is delicious. You want to kill me." Hisoka holds up his hand, showing off his long, sharp nails. "That human can get you riled up. You're so against him showing me affection, and it makes you angry thinking about me mating with him, doesn't it? If I didn't know better, I would think you want him as a mate."

Killua's dark glare falls slightly at that last part, his cheeks heating up, his ears perking up.

"Bingo~" Hisoka purrs.

"N-Not bingo! I don't want him as a mate I just..." Killua trials off. He closes his eyes before taking a deep breath. "You're rough when you mate. You'd hurt him. Gon is pure. That is why I'm protective of him. This has nothing to do with my desires-"

"You're a terrible liar. It has everything to do with your desires." Hisoka smirks. "I'll be gentle with the little one. Don't worry. I don't want to break him. Not yet-"

Killua looks like he's about to attack him, but Hisoka's words get him to pause.

"Why didn't you want to tell Gon your age?" Hisoka tilts his head. Alluka glancing at her brother. She's been taking everything in, her blue eyes seeming to realizing something.

"He didn't ask. I didn't want to think about it. I've always hated the idea that we live so long and now that I've met Gon, I hate it more." Killua realizes what he just said, his bangs covering his eyes for a moment.

"Big brother...You do want Gon as a mate." Alluka's ears go back when Killua tenses up. "...you've been releasing hormones this whole time..."

"I am so happy Gon came and picked me up. This is so much funner than the lab." Hisoka chuckles darkly when he sees how Killua's soft blush as spread. "Killua, wanting a human for a mate, it's very ironic don't you think?"

"He's different." Killua mumbles, his pupils small like he's in shock.

"So you've said." Hisoka watches as Alluka hugs Killua's arm, nuzzling his head, trying to bring him some comfort. "And you know what's really amusing?" Hisoka's tail waves behind him. "The human you want, is the only human that's going to turn you down. He won't mate with you-"

"He won't mate with you either. I don't need him to mate with me." Killua's blue eyes get so dark that Alluka shivers. Hisoka's smirk widens, his tail bristling. "But you're not going to touch him, I've already marked him. He's mine."

"I wouldn't go that far in saying he's yours. I'm not going to give up. I want to see what faces he'll make when I'm filling him up-"

"Not going to happen." Killua snarls.

"Yeah! Gon belongs to big brother." Alluka glares at Hisoka.

"We'll see."

"Age can't be as important as you say-"

"If it's not age, it's the fact that you're half human half cat. An experiment-"

"You're the same as me!"

"Yes, but I'm a man. I'm older than you and I have the power to take Gon. He wants to be taken."

Hisoka smirks. "You've never been on the giving end have you."

"Shut the fuck up." Killua's tail bristles. "My age is young, but I'm as much of a man as you are. My body is developed. Whatever Gon wants I could deliver-"

"Let's say you'd mate with him? Then what? Do you really think Gon would choose to have you as his partner?" Killua just glares at him. "Killua, we don't have to fight you know? We could share him~ I could teach you a few things. It would be a lot of fun! You could have his sweet bottom while I have his mouth. Alluka ,if you like you could suck-"

"Like hell that's ever happening! Leave my sisters name out of your nasty mouth! Your mind is like the humans at the lab! How dare you think of Gon like that?-"

"I think like an animal, Killua. It's in our instinct. You can't tell me that the thought didn't excite you in the slightest. Seeing Gon a moaning mess, begging you for more, crying out your name-" Hisoka's voice is sin. Killua's body is tense, his ears back, his bangs covering his eyes.

Soon he's right on Hisoka, cutting him across the chest. Hisoka hisses at him, both their tails bristling, as Hisoka shoves Killua into the wall, the younger snarling. Killua head butts Hisoka, ready to wrestle the larger man down, his blue eyes go dark, his pupils like a snake.

"Big brother!" Alluka looks like she's about to jump on Hisoka's back when a loud sound gets all of the to stop.

"What is going on in here?" Gon grumbles, walking into the living room, rubbing his eyes that are still closed. Killua's eyes widen and he pushes Hisoka off of him and runs to Gon quickly.

"Nothing! Let's get you back to bed, you're exhausted. Let's go Alluka."

"R-Right."

Killua pushes Gon back to bed, sending a warning glare at Hisoka who only smirks, those yellow eyes lighting up with dark amusement. Gon lays back in bed without much pushing, Killua crawling in bed next to him, with Alluka by his side. He wraps one of his arms around Alluka, pulling Alluka so he's been squished between his sister and Gon. Killua nuzzles Gon's head, the older man mumbling something in his sleep.

He had fallen right back into slumber. Killua watches him sleep for a moment before he starts running his hands through his hair. Gon turns into the touch, causing Killua's heart to beat faster.

Killua can't sleep for the longest time. His sister has fallen asleep against him, and Gon is sound asleep, but he can't. All of Hisoka's words are going around in his head. Killua wants to mate with Gon. That he knows is a fact but...this is more than instinct. This feeling in his chest when he touches Gon and he smiles in his sleep, this beating of his heart and tightening of his muscles. It's not just heat.

For hours Killua watches Gon sleep, his eyes softening at seeing Gon's expressions. They always change. Killua wonders what he's dreaming about. Then he starts to wonder about other things. Like how those lips will taste, what sounds Gon would make, how it would feel inside of him-

Killua covers his face that has heated up.

"Gon..." Killua leans over, kissing Gon's lips softly, not able to help it anymore. He licks his lips, the man not waking up. "I'll protect you from Hisoka, so..." Killua pauses, wrapping himself in Gon's arms, keeping Alluka close. "...I think you're precious to me too. I will do research. I'll learn how to speak these feelings properly so you understand because I...I want to touch you. I want to mate with you. I want to make you feel good. I'm not pushing myself Gon. No..."

Killua's eyes get darker and he bite his fist when he thinks of how flushed Gon's face was, those amber eyes half lidded, that sound leaving his lips when Killua had touched him in the bathroom. Killua felt the heat then and he feels it now when he looks back at Gon sees that helpless, unaware face.

"I want you." Killua's tail wraps around Gon's wrist. "...I'm not going to lose you to Hisoka."

* * *

 **Thank you for your support! And thanks once again to my beta reader** Anathemal **!**


	8. Chapter 8

Gon's eyes open halfway, and the first thing he becomes aware of is the gentle breathing against his face. Gon's mind is still fuzzy but he knows it's Killua that's so close to him. His heart starts to beat faster as he takes in those plump lips, and those full, pale cheeks. Killua has such soft features, his white hair lying limply on his cheek.

Just from seeing those lips and his jaw line, Gon feels his heart beat faster and his cheeks get warmer. He has a great urge to just lean in and kiss Killua, to feel tho

se lips once again.

Gon closes his eyes tightly, his stomach churning. Thinking Killua is beautiful is one thing. Admiring him is one thing. But lusting after him, wanting to kiss him and touch him, is sick. Gon was hoping that if he slept, these thoughts would leave him but right off the bat, he knows nothing has changed.

Even with the knowledge of Killua's age and what he's been through, Gon is still sick.

"Gon." He tenses at Killua's voice, opening his eyes to fully look at the boy. Killua is staring at him intently, those blue eyes wide, not blinking. Alluka is laying on his side, curled up against him. She moves slightly from her brother's voice but she doesn't wake up. "You've been moving in your sleep a lot. I was debating on whether I should wake you up or not. Were you having a nightmare?"

"No. I had trouble falling asleep last night. I kept waking up and then I kept turning to get comfortable. I didn't have any dreams last night." Gon sighs, averting his gaze from those blue eyes and that soft, trusting face. Killua trusts him. He's gained his trust. Why does he have to feel like this? Gon didn't even know he was attracted to males like this. Why did this have to surface with Killua?

"You look tired, still." Killua's ears go back when he sees how Gon's amber eyes dull slightly. Gon tenses when Killua starts to nuzzle his head, his hands grabbing his biceps. He feels warm. "Do you have to go today? You were sick yesterday and you look bad. Do you still feel sick today?" Killua pulls away, Gon getting distracted by those long eyelashes and those soft lips that turn in a frown.

Gon pales. "Yes, I still feel sick but I need to go to work. If I don't, I won't be able to afford this place or food for everyone." Gon forces himself to sit up. He swallows when Killua sits up with him, wrapping his arms around his waist, nuzzling his shoulder.

Killua is showing him more affection than usual. Gon feels his chest warm but there are other parts that are warming as well. "Killua, I need to start getting ready." Gon smiles gently, reaching over to start scratching behind Killua's ear. He purrs, those blue eyes staring at him with a growing light. He loosens his hold, his ears going back when Gon gets up and walks over to get some clothes on. He quickly changes, not wanting to be naked in front of Killua for long, feeling relieved when he's all covered.

He blinks when Killua is right by his side soon after. His face is flushed as he leans down to give Gon a kiss on the cheek. Gon feels that warmth spread and he knows he's blushing. Why is Killua so cute? Gon's heart beats faster when he sees how Killua's blush has spread when looking at Gon's face. "Wait here. Relax. I'll make you breakfast." Killua grabs Gon's hand, the man blink when Killua pushes him back down in bed.

"You don't have to Killua, I can make myself food-"

"I'll get you some water too. I'm not taking no for an answer." Killua grunts, putting his hands on his hips, his tail moving behind him restlessly. "You look bad Gon. I'm being serious." Killua's tone gets lower, his ears going back. "You look like you might throw up right now."

"You can do it for me if you want to Killua. I'll be fine. Really." Gon smiles at Killua, knowing his friend just wants to do something for him. Killua has started taking care of him. Gon knows he's trying to repay the favor but Gon doesn't need that. Everything he did for Killua, he did it because he wanted to. Because Killua is precious to him.

Maybe too precious, he's found out.

Killua's ears perk up. He smiles, and Gon finds his heart skipping a beat. "I'll be right back." He turns and walks out, Gon watching his tail wave before averting his gaze quickly. He covers his face, taking a deep breath. Maybe sleep has caused extra problems. Now that he's realized his attraction for Killua, he's noticing things that he didn't before. Like how small Killua's thighs are and how silky his skin is-

Gon might just throw up again.

"Good morning Gon." Gon blinks, looking over at Alluka who is sitting up slightly rubbing at her eyes. "Where did big brother go?"

"He went into the kitchen to make me breakfast. I told him he didn't have to. Killua is being really nice to me today." Gon smiles gently as he reaches out, scratching behind Alluka's ears, hearing her purr.

"Big brother can be a worry wart about those he cares about a lot. Big brother really likes you Gon." Alluka smiles knowingly, leaning into his touch.

"I really like Killua too." Gon just feels warmness. A happiness building, a tightening of his chest. It's nice hearing that. He's glad that he's been able to get closer to Killua. That's what Gon wanted from the start.

"How much do you like big brother?" Alluka sits up in bed, her ears perked, those blue eyes looking at Gon intently.

"A lot. Killua is my friend. I'd even say my best friend now." Gon avert his gaze from those bright blue eyes.

"So big brother's age doesn't matter to you?" Alluka catches the slight twitch of Gon's face, and how his lips turn in a frown. Killua's age brings other thoughts with it, like how Gon is wanting to touch this young boy, wanting to touch his best friend, making him feel ill again. Alluka's ears flatten.

"Why did you ask that?" Gon avoids the question.

"Hisoka said that humans pick friends related to age and that age means a lot so...I was just wondering."

"His age doesn't change the fact he's my best friend." Gon keeps it at that. He's not sure he likes how those big blue eyes are staring at him. She's tilting her head, her tail waving behind her. She smiles after a while, seeming pleased.

"I made you some eggs and toast with butter. We're out of butter now." Killua walks back into the room, holding a plate in his hand. Gon smiles brightly at Killua when he walks over to him, Gon keeping his eyes on Killua's soft features and blue eyes that have captivated him from the start. Killua avert his gaze from him, his cheeks flushed as he offers Gon the food.

"Thank you Killua. It smells good." Gon beams as he takes the plate. Killua sits down on the bed in front of him, staring at him as he starts to eat it, his ears perk up when Gon makes a pleases sound after he ate some of his food. Killua relaxes.

"You're welcome."

"Big brother, Gon said you're his best friend!" Alluka cheers suddenly.

"Best?" Killua's eyes light up and he looks at Gon. "What's best friend mean?" He leans closer.

"A best friend is someone who is really close to you. Closer than just a friend." Gon watches as Killua's tail waves around more, and he swears he can hear him purring.

"Best friend..." Killua turns his head, like he's trying to hide his face but Gon caught a glimpse of that small smile that Killua has. He's pleased.

"Yup. Best friend." Gon chuckles as he reaches over, rubbing Killua's hair. Killua nuzzles his hand, those blue eyes glaring at him from laughing at him but there's such a cute blush on his face that Gon can't help to gush. "Killua, you're so cute." He waits for Killua to glare at him or yell at him but he doesn't.

"Idiot..." He mumbles but it's not harsh. The expression on Killua's face gets Gon to swallow. Those eyes are half lidded, deeper. His tail has slowed in its moments, his pupils getting bigger. Killua's voice sounded breathless.

Gon quickly eats more of his eggs, looking away from Killua's expressions. They're doing strange things to his body. He drinks more water, well aware that Killua is inching closer towards him.

"Well, I finished my food! Thanks a lot, Killua! I better start heading out." Gon gets up quickly when Killua looked like he was about to jump on him. The strange look in Killua's eyes leaves and he blinks, his ears going back as Gon hurries up and walks into the bathroom, brushing his teeth.

"Right." Killua's ears perk back up when Alluka rubs her head against his. He licks her forehead, hugging her before they both get up off the bed. Gon feels both their eyes on him as he brushes his hair and makes himself presentable. They follow him out of the room, into the living room. Gon isn't surprised to see that Hisoka is awake. The older man is sitting on the couch, his reddish tail waving around behind him, his ears perking up when Gon walks in. He smirks at Gon, those yellow eyes gleaming as he stands up. Gon can't help to notice he's not wearing his shirt, showing off those large muscles.

"Good morning, Gon." Hisoka purrs, walking over to Gon, nuzzling his head. Killua hisses at him.

"He doesn't have time for that. He doesn't want your creep ass rubbing all over him-" Killua shoves Hisoka, those yellow eyes narrowing.

"Killua, don't fight with Hisoka this early in the morning." Gon sighs, feeling uncomfortable being stuck between the man and boy. Gon is starting to get another headache. "Good morning, Hisoka." He pats Hisoka's head, getting the man's ear to perk up, that dangerous look leaving him.

Killua's ears flatten at seeing this, his tail flicking restlessly. He grabs onto Gon's arm. "I don't like that Gon..." Killua mumbles lowly. Gon is too busy ignoring Killua touching him that he doesn't catch what Killua said. He scratches Hisoka's ears some more, staring into those yellow eyes, wanting them to somehow get rid of this growing feeling in his chest and stomach-

"I said I don't like it!" Killua suddenly shouts, getting Gon's eyes to widen when his wrist is grabbed, his hand is ripped away from Hisoka.

"Killua, what has gotten into you-" Gon frowns when Killua glares at him, his breathing heavy. He's looking at him like he just shot a baby.

"You're giving Hisoka too much attention. He doesn't deserve it." Killua puts Gon's hand on his head

.

"Killua." Gon frowns. "I can't just give you attention. I was just petting him a bit. Don't you think it would be mean to ignore everyone but you-"

"No." Killua says stubbornly.

"How childish of you, Killua." Hisoka sighs, getting Killua to tense up. "Don't you have to go to work Gon? I don't want you to end up late." He coos.

"Yeah, that's right." Gon looks at Killua who is still holding onto his arm tightly. "Killua, I have to go." Gon frowns when Killua lets go, his ears flattening. "I'm not mad, Killua. Don't worry, I'm going to be showing you attention. You're my best friend remember?" Gon watches as Killua's dull eyes start to light up again, especially when Gon rubs his head, his ears perk back up. "I'll see you Killua."

"Bye, Gon. I'll have your meal ready and I'll keep everyone in check for you." Killua gives him a firm look, seeming to calm down. That strange look in his eyes disappearing.

"I'm counting on you."Gon smile at how Killua has gone back to normal before he smiles at Alluka. "Bye, Alluka. I'll see you later. If you draw any more pictures, I'd love to see them." Gon rubs Alluka's head, smiling when she beams at him.

"Of course! Bye Gon! Have fun at work."

"Bye Hisoka. Don't worry, today I'll be buying you some clothes that will fit you better." Gon pats Hisoka on the head, Killua's body tensing up.

"Bye, little one. Even with you being tired, you're still so cute. You'll be able to make plenty of money. Later I can help you relieve some stress, you look like you need it." Hisoka breathes this against Gon's ear, reaching around to touch his butt. Gon jumps from the touch, Killua's ears perking up in alertness though Gon is sure at this angle he can't see where Hisoka is touching. Just as Gon thought. Hisoka is definitely coming on to him.

Gon's heart doesn't jump like it does when Killua touches him. But he does feel warmth. Those yellow eyes are dangerous and he's sure that Hisoka doesn't care for him like Killua does. Hisoka isn't his best friend. There's an invitation in his voice though, and Gon understands what he's welcoming him too.

Gon will find other solutions to this problem before settling with that.

"I'll be fine. Thanks for the offer." Gon gives Hisoka this look before he knocks his hand away. "But, I can relieve my own stress."

"Oh?" Hisoka smirks, raising his eyebrow.

Killua looks between the two, seeming confused and restless. "Am I missing something?"

"No. Nothing." Gon smiles at Killua. "I'll be a little later today. I need to do some shopping-"

"I could go with you to shop." Killua says quickly.

"Yes, but now there are Alluka and Hisoka, and I know you don't want to leave Alluka alone here and I can't fit you all into my jacket."

Killua opens his mouth only to close it. His ears flatten. Gon frowns, Killua has been getting noticeably upset whenever Gon turns him down. It's not that Gon doesn't want to take him. He just can't now.

"Yeah, I get it. Stupid store should just let cats in. What did cats ever do to that store?" Killua grumbles.

Gon chuckles. "It's just how some stores are. I really need to go, though. You three be good. I'll be back before you know it!" Gon stops when Killua walks till he's close to him. He closes his eyes and turns his cheek. Gon smile and leans in, kissing him on the cheek.

"Where's my goodbye kiss-" Killua hits Hisoka in the gut.

"There's your goodbye kiss. All taken care of. Bye, Gon!" Killua waves him off quickly, Gon frowning. He really does need to go but now he's worried about these three. And what the state his house is going to be in when he comes home.

Gon walks out of the apartment, sighing. He feels another headache coming on when his cheeks flush and not from the cold. An innocent kiss to the cheek can set him off too it seems. It's just that Killua Is so soft. Like a baby. Because he is a baby. He's 16 years old. Get a hold on yourself.

Gon holds his stomach, hoping the freezing weather will cool him down and frostbite these feelings. He misses the cold now. The cold tormented him yes but now he's being tortured by the warmth...and he's finding that it's harder to bare.

If Gon doesn't do something about this soon, things will just keep getting more awkward. He needs to talk to someone and then he needs to take action. He needs to come up with a game plan.

If he doesn't, Killua's smile and affectionate touches are going to be the death of him.

* * *

"So mean, Killua." Hisoka sighs, rubbing his stomach like he's hurt once Gon is gone. "I want to be kissed by Gon too-"

"Gon's kisses are for me." Killua hisses, his ears going back.

"Careful now Killua, when you talk like that you sound like a spoiled child." Hisoka smirks at the way Killua's eyes flash. "You don't want Gon seeing like that do you?"

"You're not getting kisses from him." Killua says stubbornly, glaring away from Hisoka with his ears flatten. His eyes light up and he smirks back at Hisoka who raises his eyebrow at him.

"Gon said I'm his best friend. Best. Meaning, of them all, I'm the best. We're that close. He also thinks I'm cute." Killua crosses his arms, poking his hip out slightly, his tail waving around behind him. "My age doesn't matter to him. I'm not going to let you bother me anymore-"

"Your age does matter, Killua. Very much it does." Hisoka walks over to the living room, sitting on the couch. "It's true that you're closer to Gon than I am. But as you said, you're friends, not mates. You've been put in the friend zone . And you are cute, Killua. Gon will think you're cute, but he's calling you cute like kitten cute, not mate cute." Hisoka watches as Killua's ears slowly go back, those blue eyes getting distant s he thinks over what Hisoka just said.

"...Even so, Gon hasn't said anything about you. He hasn't complimented your hair or eyes like he's done to me. I'm his best friend, so I'm closer than you, so I have more of a chance than you-"

"That's where you're wrong. My age is a big factor to my advantage over you, but I'm also more human than you. I know more than you do." Hisoka smirks when he sees how Killua tenses. "You want to have a human mate but you know nothing about wooing one. You're young and inexperienced."

Killua's face turns blank for a moment before his ears relax. "If it's knowledge I lack on the subject I can do research. I'm a fast learner." Killua turns away from Hisoka, looking at Alluka who started coloring on a piece of paper on the floor.

"Alluka, we're going to be hanging out in Gon's room doing some research. I don't want to be in the same room with this guy." Killua tail bristles as he glare at Hisoka who smirks at him. "Don't mess up the place."

"I'm not a kitten who still sharpens his claws on furniture Killua~"

Killua narrow his eyes at him before marching over and grabbing Gon's laptop and walking into Gon's room. Once Alluka walks in with her paper and crayons, Killua shuts the door and locks it.

"Ugh, that guy pisses me off." Killua grumbles as he sits on the bed, his action giving him a whiff of Gon's scent from the sheets. Killua's eyes soften as he leans down and sniffs at Gon's pillow. It's not a sweet smell but it's nice all the same. Killua likes how Gon smells. He smells like the earth.

Killua already misses his warmth, his heart beating faster from just taking in his scent. Killua pulls away, his face flushed. He needs to research.

"He's competition for you." Alluka smiles over at her brother, sitting down next to him. "But I know you can win big brother! Gon cares a lot about you!"

Killua ears perk up and his blush darkens. "Yeah...s-so there's no reason to be worried." Killua waves his hand, trying to give his sister a confident smile ,but when he thinks of Hisoka's words, they bother him. He can gain knowledge but he'll never be able to change his age.

That's the one thing Hisoka has over him and Killua can't do anything about it.

"What are you going to look up first?" Alluka watches as Killua gets into Gon's laptop and pulls up google. Killua is familiar of computers. He had to work with some at the lab, for once he's grateful for what those bastards taught him.

"How do you woo a human male?" Killua types this in. He narrows his eyes. "Most of this is about wooing a female. I typed in male- there's one." Killua clicks on the web page, scanning it. He goes through different web pages and takes a few notes. Alluka is coloring next to him as he's messing with Google, soaking in as much information as he can.

"I've found out some things...though most of these web sites are trying to teach female humans how to woo a male, but I think I can use the tips." Alluka stops coloring to look at Killua in interest.

"To gain a male's attention for mating, showing skin is good. Panties are good too, especially a thong which is just a couple of strings. Kissing on the lips shows that you want to mate. Sometimes it's good to use communication and be direct. It also says to compliment the male and touch them a lot. Gifts are good as well..." Killua stops for a moment before looking at Alluka who is staring at him.

"Gon doesn't like it when we walk around naked. If it's skin, I could just take these things off but Gon doesn't like it so...shorts?" Killua gets off the bed to go looking through Gon's clothes. "And gifts...what could I get him?" Killua's eyes light up. "Got it!" Killua grins back at Alluka who looks excited.

"Once Gon sees all this, he'll have to be my mate!"

"Yeah! Big brother is going to woo Gon." Alluka beams, her ears perking up. "Maybe it will make Gon feel better, too."

Killua's smile falls slightly when he thinks of how weak Gon was today and how he was sick yesterday. "I wonder if there's something I can do..." Killua walks over to the computer, sitting down, staring at it with determination. "What to do when a human male is sick?" Killua looks through a couple of web sites and nods. "So I was right in giving him fluids. It says that if they have a fever that you should cool them down and they should be resting-" Killua's ears flatten at that part. Gon isn't resting, he's out working right now.

"Oh no, will Gon be okay?" Alluka's ears flatten.

"...he should be." Killua rubs his sister's head. He feels like he has to be reassured himself. He wants Gon as his mate, so Killua wants to take care of him. Killua reads more on sickness before he closes the laptop. "Let's go out to get something to eat, Alluka. I can hear your stomach growling."

"You can?" Alluka sticks her tongue out, giggling when Killua kisses her on the forehead.

"Yes. If you were hungry you should have said something." Killua puts his hands on his hips, scolding his little sister.

"But you looked so focused big brother, I didn't want to bother you. You had this nice expression on your face." Alluka smiles, Killua flushing and averting his gaze.

"Well, you could have told me, still." Killua grumbles, grabbing his sister's hand, walking them out of the room. Killua glares at Hisoka who is in his cat form about to jump out of the window in the kitchen. The cat looks over at them, those yellow eyes gleaming before he jumps. Killua grips his fist.

Hisoka won't be ahead of him for much longer.

* * *

"You're getting into that habit again, Gon." Gon's eyes that were half lidded and glossed over come back into focus. He tenses when he realizes that he was filling an overflowing glass with more soda, its liquid spilling over the side.

"Crap!" Gon pulls the glass away, pouring some of the excess down the drain. He sighs, looking over at Kurapika who is staring at him, his arms crossed. Gon frowns and looks down as he starts to fill another glass with soda. "I'm just thinking is all."

"What's wrong?" Kurapika moves closer. "You always get dazed when something is bothering you."

Gon smiles slightly. He can't keep anything away from Kurapika's keen eyes. He might not be his real mother but he has the eyes of one that's for sure. "Also, you look pale, and tired...are you sick?"

"Yeah." Gon rubs his arm, his stomach turning.

"...you should have asked for the day off. Knuckle would have given it to you-"

"I need the money." Gon filled up another glass. Kurapika doesn't say anything to that.

"So tell me, other than being sick, what's bothering you?" Kurapika asks, putting the glasses on a tray for him, those blue eyes are gentle and patient. Gon swallows, his heart beating faster. He's been wanting to get this off his chest. Kurapika would be the perfect person to talk about this, maybe he can even tell him what to do about it.

"Kurapika, is it really wrong to be sexually attracted to a sixteen year old boy?"Gon blurts out.

Kurapika's eyes widened and he starts to cough like he's choking. Gon goes pale from seeing that reaction, his stomach sinking in guilt. "It's really bad ,isn't it? I'm a creep, aren't I?" Gon groans, holding his head in his hands.

"A-Ah no! You're not a creep Gon it just...it startled me." Kurapika composes himself, but his eyes are still wide. "...you are much older than this boy, and he's not legal adult so that causes problems ,but I know that if it's you Gon, you care about this boy. Is this boy even into guys? If he is, do his parents know? I doubt they would approve..." Kurapika thinks for a moment. "...I didn't know you were into guys, Gon."

"I didn't know either. But it's only with him that I feel this way." Gon admits, his cheeks getting flushed. Kurapika stares at him a moment, his voice getting softer.

"Do you love him Gon?"

Gon tenses at the question. He frowns and shakes his head. "...I don't know. I really care about him. He's my most precious person. I want to take care of him and make him happy. I was fine with just that but lately I've been looking at him more... I get warm, and my body reacts to him. It makes me feel...disgusting."

"You're not disgusting Gon. You're the purest person I know. You're a passionate, healthy young man so you'll react to someone you really like."

"...I just don't want to ruin our trust. I don't know what to do Kurapika." Gon looks at Kurapika, those amber eyes big. "What should I do?"

"...What do you think is best?"

"...I think I should forget about these feelings but they won't go away. Everytime I see him I..." Gon puts a hand over his chest. "Maybe I should do what Leorio keeps telling me, find a girl but I don't want to get rid of these urges on a girl that I don't really like. I don't want to use them. But I'm worried that if I don't do something I'll slip and do something I'll regret to the boy."

"Maybe it's best you don't see the boy anymore-"

"That's not an option. I need him." Gon says without any hesitance, without any shyness.

Kurapika stares at him a moment before he closes his eyes. "I suppose it can't be helped. I'll call Leorio. I'm sure he can give you some things to help you with this. If you want to take care of urges but don't want to use another, best to use yourself." Kurapika blushes, and Gon's face feels a bit hot as well.

"But, I do think you should look for someone else. I just don't want you getting in trouble Gon, you've been through enough."

"I know." Gon smiles gently at Kurapika. "...thanks. You didn't look disgusted at me and...that made me feel better."

"Of course not, Gon. You're a man, and if you like someone, it doesn't matter the age or gender. I can tell you really like this boy." Kurapika smiles gently when Gon looks at him with wide eyes.

"Age doesn't matter..."

"Not to the heart, but it does when it comes to the law and society."

"So...it's not wrong?"

"Do you think it's wrong?"

"...I think so. Because he's so young and..." He's been abused by men.

"Just keep doing what you think is best Gon. I can't tell you how to live but...I would be careful. And if you need any advice...I could help." Kurapika is bright red at this point but Gon is beaming.

"Thanks Kurapika! I feel a little better. You're right. I'll get rid of these urges, and I'll get rid of these feelings. I want to be someone he can trust." Gon pulls away, grabbing the tray of drinks, a kick to his step now that he has a plan of action. "I have to get these drinks to table five, I'll talk to you later, Kurapika."

Kurapika watches him go, a slight frown on his face. "Gon...you always get into these messes but your heart is so good. You've been lonely for a while now so...I'm happy you've found someone to like. The way your eyes light when you talked about the boy was..." Kurapika stops when he realizes he's talking to himself. He flushes and starts to call Leorio.

Leorio was right, he does mumble to himself sometimes when he's 'fussing like a mother hen'. He's not going to admit to it though when it comes to that stubborn doctor to be.

He's not.

* * *

"Thanks for giving me a ride to the store but you didn't have to." Gon smiles at Leorio who is currently driving the car, Kurapika sitting next to him in the passenger's side. Gon is just waiting for it. It feels like one of those moments tense moments right when parents need to discuss something with their child. Gon has a pretty good idea what they want to discuss with him.

"No problem." Leorio and Kurapika share a glance before Kurapika nods. Leorio smiles at him sheepishly. "So, Kurapika told me you like a boy and you're feeling a bit bad about it. I'm here to tell you Gon, you're not a creep or anything like that! When I use to go out to the club as a single young guy, I would see these girls that could turn heads and they would end up being underage, they had just sneaked in!" Kurapika glares at him slightly.

"Oh don't give me that look, it was before we were dating." Leorio grumbles, looking back at Gon who is listening intently. "This kind of thing happens all the time! Once you know their age, that's half the battle. Teenagers can be very attractive. They're dangerous though."

"So you've also liked someone who is underage?" Gon tilts his head.

"I'm not surprised." Kurapika grunts.

"Hey! Kurapika, you shut up. You told me to talk to Gon. and I am! I'm helping." Leorio's eyebrow twitches when Kurapika just looks out of the window, ignoring him.

"Did you really care about the underage girl?" Gon asks, feeling almost shy, his heart beating faster. Leorio stops glaring at Kurapika to look back at him.

"No. I just liked how she looked. When I found out here age, I backed off. You don't want to mess with someone who is underage Gon, you never know if they'll turn on you." Leorio shakes his head.

"Then, how did you stop liking the underage girl?" Gon sits up in his seat, needing to know. Leorio might be able to give him more advice.

"Well...I just moved on to another pretty lady and had a good time with her-" Leorio frowns when Kurapika seems to be getting more irritated. "But, I know you Gon. I've been trying to get you out in the bar to get some girls, but you're not about that. So, I've prepared something for you." Leorio nods at Kurapika who flushes slightly. He hands back a bag to Gon.

"What's this-" Gon starts looking through it, blinking when the first thing he pulls out is a bottle of lube.

"When you're not going out, and you have urges, you can always count on yourself." Leorio says with a straight face. Gon flushes, already getting what he's saying.

"So, you're saying I should masturbate and it will help?" The thought had crossed Gon's mind. Gon blushes when he digs deeper in and spots a dildo. "You're giving me a dildo? It's not one you used on, Kurapika is it?"

"What makes you think he would use it on me?" Kurapika flushes darkly, looking back at Gon before he smirks slightly at Leorio. "He's the one who likes that kind of thing." Gon wrinkles his nose when Leorio flushes.

"Wait, so this thing was used on you, Leorio? Why would I want it-"

"It's not used, Gon! I bought it at the store! Jeez! I didn't know what your interests where, I mean, if you want to bottom or not-" Leorio is getting more flustered. "Just because a man bottoms, it doesn't make him any less of a man Gon, you hear me?!"

"I never said all that." Kurapika frowns, reaching over to stroke Leorio's cheek.

"Um..." Gon's ears get red as he stares down at the dildo. He didn't even think about...that. He's been trying to keep his thoughts away from that but if Gon were to do the deed with Killua, how does he picture it- Gon shakes his head, trying to get the thought out of his head. "You didn't have to spend money on me Leorio. Was it expensive?"

"Oh." Leorio calms down from Kurapika's nice touch, and from Gon not saying anything else about being a bottom. "Don't worry about it. Anything for my pal. I was starting to think you were asexual. You never want to go out and you never wanted to spend time with girls. You didn't seem interested in guys either, so this is nice. I wasn't expecting you to turn out this way as well. Maybe it's because there aren't many cute, young guys around here-"

"Leorio." Kurapika glares.

"What?" He stops when he sees how Gon is looking down at his hands, the blush still there, his heart racing. "It's not bad Gon. I'm not saying that-"

"It's only him. I don't look at other guys and get this feeling in my chest. It's only him." Gon crinkles the bag. "I've been so focused on becoming a doctor that I haven't been thinking about getting in a relationship or sex-"

"That's not healthy. So no wonder you're having trouble with this boy. You're not taking care of your urges properly. Take everything in that bag Gon, explore a little and just relax. You look so tense." Leorio frowns back at him.

"You do, Gon. You look stressed." Kurapika adds, looking at him with those blue eyes filled with concern.

"It's okay...I'll take what your guys advice into consideration." Gon closes the bag. He swallows when he thinks about trying to masturbate at his home now. How could he? Killua has been following him everywhere. When Gon is in a room, Killua is also in that room.

"This semester is almost over so you have that to look forward too." Leorio smiles back at Gon, and he returns it.

"Yeah. Leorio you can drop me off now. We've been driving around in circles for a while, now."

"I know. I just wanted to talk with you for a bit." Leorio gives him a sheepish smile, making a left finally stopping in front of his apartment. "So. just take care of yourself and it will help. If you have any questions, you can ask us. If you need some porn, I know a couple of good sites-" Kurapika crosses his arms. "Don't give me that look. You like them too. Remember that one site I showed you? And then you got in that mood-ow!" Gon wrinkles his nose at the mental image that just gave him,Kurapika hitting Leorio over the head, his face getting scarlet.

"I-I'm fine. I don't need porn." Gon would be too embarrassed.

"Just if you need to. Just let me know." Leorio rubs his head.

"Gon do you need help carrying your bags?" Kurapika looks like he's about to get out of the car.

"No, I'm fine! Thanks again guys. I know this isn't a pleasant thing that I've dragged you two into. I'm glad that you guys are helping me though. Despite this being embarrassing, I'm happy with the things you've said and given to me. I'll try to be less stressed. I'll get some sleep tonight."

This seems to calm both of them down.

"No problem!"

"Any time, Gon."

"You two really are like parents." Gon chuckles, grabbing all the bags, including the one Leorio gave him for his...activities. "Parents that give their son dildos, but parents nonetheless-"

"It was your father's idea." Kurapika mumbles, his face getting red again.

"D-Don't pin this on me! You said for me to help him!"

"I didn't mean to give him a dildo!" Kurapika and Leorio start to go back and just waves, knowing they're wrapped up in each other. He chuckles as he walks up to his apartment door, looking back just in time to nod his good bye when the two drive off. It's so dark out tonight, Gon thinks before he opens his door, walking in.

Alluka is already waiting for him, her blue eyes bright and she jumps on him once Gon closes the door and locks it. "Gon is back! I was worried about you. Big brother found out that you're supposed to be laying down when you're sick."

"I'm fine. It's not a bad sickness, though I suppose I should be laying down." Gon chuckles, nuzzling her head. "I got you something." Gon puts the bags down, grabbing the one that has the coloring books, pulling them out, and giving them to Alluka. "Some coloring books so you can color some pictures-"

"Ah!" Alluka gasps, taking the books from him, her eyes getting so bright as she looks at all the different pictures. Her ears flattened and she jumps on Gon, her tail waving. "Oh, thank you! I love them! I'm going to have so many pictures to color now! Big brother, I've got a picture book!" Alluka yells, letting go of Gon.

"Where is Killua?" Gon raises his eyebrow, looking around. Hisoka is laying on the couch, his eyes closed. It looks like he's taking a nap. Gon was expecting Killua to be waiting by the door with Alluka like he always does. Gon blinks when he spots a dead bird in the living room, its neck broken.

"Right here."Gon looks over towards his bedroom, his heart skipping when he sees Killua in nothing but his boxers. Gon has seen Killua's muscular chest but what's getting him to feel a bit warmer is the fact he can see Killua's pale, silky thighs. Killua is always wearing pants, and for good reason with Gon's strange thoughts, but seeing Killua just in his boxers has gotten his blood pumping.

"Why aren't you wearing a shirt and pants? Aren't you cold?" Gon frowns slightly, averting his gaze when Killua walks closer, his tail waving behind him, those blue eyes watching his expressions intently.

"I'm fine." Killua wraps his arms around Gon suddenly, Gon's heart doing a flip when Killua nuzzles his head before kissing his cheek, then he kisses the corner of his mouth- Gon hugs him tighter so his head is in the crook of his neck, stopping Killua from kissing him anymore.

"You feel cold to me. You should get dressed." Gon pulls away from Killua, scratching behind his ear. Killua purrs, leaning into the touch.

"I said, I'm fine." Killua grumbles, his tail brushing against Gon's thigh.

"Big brother, Gon got me a picture book!" Alluka smiles, showing her brother what she has.

"That was nice." Killua smiles but his tail is flicking like he's irritated and soon he's glaring at Gon, it looks more like a pout. "You're giving Alluka gifts?"

"Well, I thought she would like it. I also got you chocolate-" Killua's ears perk up and he jumps Gon once again, nuzzling his head.

"Yess. Thank you Gon." Killua nuzzles him some more, touching his chest. Gn's eyebrows furrow when Killua's hands seem to touch all over his chest and his stomach, his body is brushing against his front and Gon is starting to feel uncomfortable with this situation.

"You're very affectionate today, Killua." Gon chuckles nervously when Killua brightens at this comment. Killua reaches like he's going to start touching his chest again so Gon quickly brings his attention to something else.

"Why is there a dead bird in the living room?" Gon sighs in relief when Killua stops and turns to look at the bird. He blinks when a soft blush overs Killua's face, his ears flattening as he closes his eyes and turns his back to him, Gon keeping his eyes away from Killua's restless tail.

"It's a gift from me. I killed it in your honor. I thought, what the heck, you deserve it..." Killua mumbles to himself.

"A gift?" Gon remembers something simular to this. Mito's cat used to leave dead animals at their front door. Mito explained that cats do this when they're really happy with the owner, it's their way of showing appreciation. Gon smiles at Killua.

"Thank you Killua." Gon pats Killua on the head, Killua's eyes opening slowly, filled with a quiet happiness. Killua's hair is so soft...his ears too... Gon finds himself rubbing one of Killua's ears, the boy purring, getting closer to him. Killua is brushing up against him, Gon can feel how firm he is, those muscles and the softness of Killua' skin, getting him to get too warm.

"...but, I'm going to have to throw it out. I can't keep a dead bird. I understand what you were saying though, Killua and I thank you for that." Gon pulls away from Killua when the boy start to touch his chest again and his neck- His neck is sensitive, and Killua touching it with those feather like touches isn't going to end well. Gon walks over to the bird, picking it up before opening his kitchen window and throwing it out. He washes his hands, looking back at Killua to see his ears are back and he glares at the ground, looking disappointed. "Killua-"

"You didn't like it." Killua's tail flicks.

"Of course he didn't like it." Gon opens his mouth but Hisoka is the one who speaks first. The older man sits up on the couch, rubbing at his eye tiredly. "Humans don't like dead animals as gifts. They enjoy other materials." Hisoka stands up, walking over to Gon, Killua's ears going back when Hisoka holds out a daisy towards Gon. "I found this while I was hunting, it's a gift from me."

"Ah, well, thank you." Gon smiles, his eyes getting distant as he looks at the flower. He remembers when he was younger he would pick Mito flowers all the time. He knows it must have gotten annoying, but she always smiled at him, thanked him and put his flowers in a glass of water. Gon grabs a glass and fills it with water. He puts it on the kitchen table before putting the flower in it. Hisoka's eyes gleam at this while Killua's ears flatten, his pupils getting bigger as he stares at the flower.

"You keep his gift, but not mine?" Killua growls, his ears staying flatten.

"I'm sorry Killua, I can't keep your gift. I'm happy you thought to give me a gift, but it's true that humans don't really have a use for dead animals. It would just rot in here and stink." Gon tries to explain without hurting Killua's feelings, patting Hisoka on the head when he brushed against his hand. Killua's expression turns sour. He marches up to them and pushes Hisoka roughly, rubbing his head against Gon's hand in stead.

"I'm going to get you a better gift." Killua locks eyes with him, those blue eyes staring so intently. "I made you dinner. It's in the microwave so it wouldn't get cold."

Gon was a bit startled by Killua's aggression just then, but he realizes and smiles soon after, running his hands through Killua's hair. Killua gets jealous easily when he pets others.

"Thank you, Killua. I'll eat it after I put away the food-"

"I'll handle it. You sit down and eat." Gon flushes when Killua kisses him on the forehead. Gon is a little embarrassed a 16 year old is taller than him, but oh well. "You really are affectionate today..."

Gon rubs his arm, his gaze averting. Gon doesn't know if he can handle all this. His eyes are already trying to wander over Killua's body. Hioska is smirking at him, and that just gets Gon's stomach turn in fear and guilt. He's not even sure If Hisoka knows he's thinking like that but just him looking at him gets him to tense in guilt.

Gon quickly gets his food out of the microwave and sits down at the table. He sighs when he sits, his aching legs feeling better already. He says his prayers before he starts to eat some of the mashed potatoes, Killua walking in with a couple of bags, Alluka helping him carry one.

"How was work?" Killua asks, glancing at him from the corner of his eye. A low growl leaves him when Hisoka gets too close to Gon.

"It was okay. It was busy. I feel wiped out." Gon sighs, putting more potatoes in his mouth. "I'm glad to be home."

"You're going to get some rest tonight. If you would like, I could bathe you. I read that you humans like to take bathes as a way to relax."

"A-Ah, no, I'm good. I'll take a shower in the morning." Gon swallows the water he has for a drink thickly.

"I could help you relax Gon." Hisoka purrs, his tail brushing against Gon's neck, tickling him. There he goes again.

"I don't need any help, I'm really okay-" Gon starts only to tense when Hisoka leans in, licking up his neck. Before he can even shove him away himself, Killua is right there. He hisses at Hisoka and shoves him away. Killua turns and licks over the same area Hisoka had.

Gon's heart rate spikes and he bites his lip, holding back whatever sound was about to leave him. He shoves Killua away when he licks him again.

"Killua! What are you doing?"

"He licked you. I was getting rid of his nastiness." Killua's tail bristles, glaring at Hisoka who just smirks at him.

"Okay no more licking my neck." Gon looks between Killua and Hisoka, giving them a firm look. He can't have Killua licking him like that...not when these urges are still strong.

"Aw, but you like it." Hisoka purrs.

"Your heart rate spiked when I did it-" Killua starts-

"No more licking me. I don't want it." Gon says quickly, putting some food in his mouth. Killua is silent for a moment before he nods his head.

"Okay. You don't like it. I won't do it again and if Hioska does it, I'll rip out his tongue." Gon's eyes widen when Killua sits on his lap, wrapping his arms around his neck, staring into his amber eyes. "Don't mind me." He purrs, nuzzling Gon's head. "Keep eating."

"It's kind of hard with you on my lap, Killua." Gon frowns when Killua rakes his fingers through Gon's hair, touching behind his ear, making Gon feel warmth where he should be right now. "Killua, you've been acting strange. You're touching me a lot. Is something wrong? Did something happen when I was gone?"

"No. Nothing happened. Think, why would I be touching you so much?" Killua flushes, averting his gaze, his ears flattening. "It should be obvious to you."

"It's not." Gon averts his gaze when Killua's ears perk up and he stares at Gon like he's thinking.

"Could you get off of me Killua? You're starting to hurt my leg." Gon smiles sheepishly. He sighs in relief when Killua gets off of him without much fight. He starts to eat again but soon Killua is behind his chair, wrapping his arms around him and hugging him. Gon endures it. He doesn't hate it. No, he likes it too much. It also confuses him why Killua is acting so clingy all of a sudden.

"You're being pushy." Hisoka says, sitting next to Gon. "At this rate, you're only hurting yourself."

"Huh?" Gon raises his eyebrow when Killua tenses, not getting what Hisoka was saying-

"Stay out of it." Killua snarls at Hisoka.

"Did you two get into a fight? It feels even more tense than before between you two." Gon frowns.

"You could say that." They both say at the same time, Killua tightening his grip on Gon, Hisoka smirking.

"I thought you were going to put away the food?" Hisoka raises his eyebrow. Killua glares at him but he lets go of Gon to finish doing just that. Hisoka moves closer. "Gon, when are you going to sleep with me? I'm jealous of Alluka and Killua."

"Never." Killua answers for Gon. "He sleeps with us. You would try to molest him in his sleep. Hey Hisoka, why don't you actually do something around the house, you lazy shit? Why don't you put away the food?"

"You're such a territorial boy." Hisoka sighs, his ears twitching on the top of his head. "With an attitude like that, you'll never get a mate."

"You're older than me and you don't even have a mate. I don't want to hear anything from you-"

"I'm about to have a mate." Hisoka licks his lips, Gon not liking how he looked at him and said that.

"I can't be your mate." Gon shakes his head, not seeing how Killua's ears have perked up, his eyes lighting up so brightly, a relief there.

"You say that now." Hisoka's tail waves. "But you'll come to me."

"No, he won't. You heard him. You can't be his mate." Killua walks back over to the two, Gon surprised by the large grin on his face before he wraps his arms around Gon once more, nuzzling him, purring loudly.

"Children can be so needy can't they Gon?" Hisoka hums.

"I'm not a child." Killua hisses.

"But he is young, isn't he Gon? He even acts like a kitten."

"I don't." Killua's body tenses up and he looks at Gon. Gon doesn't like this, he feels like what he says could be used against him. Killua gets upset easily. Gon doesn't want that. He's too tired for this. He just wants to lay down.

"Hey Gon, what's this? Is it food?" Alluka asks. Gon's eyes light up from Alluka saving him and he stands up quickly, turning to face Alluka, only for his breath to catch. Gon goes pale as he watches Alluka hold out the bottle of Lube Leorio had given him. Crap, he forgot about that bag!

"I-It's not food! Don't touch it, Alluka!" Gon rushes over, grabbing the lube from her, grabbing the bag, only to pale when the dildo falls out of it, rolling towards Killua. Gon feels like he's about to die as Killua picks it up, looking it over before sniffing it. Hisoka stares at it for a moment before he smirks.

"Oh~"

"Killua, don't touch that either!" Gon runs over and snatches it from Killua, feeling like he's about to have a heart attack.

"Why? What is that thing?" Killua raises his eyebrow when Gon's cheeks flush. Those pupils get bigger.

"I-It's nothing! Adult things. You shouldn't have seen it."Gon walks off quickly to his room to hide it somewhere. To his dismay, he can hear Killua following after him.

"Gon, my mind is like an adult's. You can tell me what that is. I want to know. Your blood is pumping faster. I can smell it-"

"Killua you're too young for this stuff."Gon tries to get out of this but soon he finds himself being turned around by Killua, the younger one is stronger, that's for sure. Killua's eyes are serious, his ears are back.

"Don't think of my age. I'm telling you, I'm mature for my age. You can speak about adult things with me."

"K-Killua." Gon bites his lip, his hands shaking. It all feels wrong. He's holding a bag with lube and a dildo, Killua looking at him with those eyes, grabbing him so tightly, asking for him to tell him what's in the bag, to explain himself. He can't. "I don't want to talk to you about it. It's personal." Gon says quickly, shutting his eyes when he feels Killua stiffen.

"Personal? When have you started keeping secrets? It's because of my age, huh?" Killua tightens his grip before he loosens up. "Fine. If you're not going to tell me, I'm going to look it up-"

"D-Don't." Gon grabs his wrist, stopping Killua. The boy's ears twitch, his expression changing to a blank one as he looks back at Gon. He looks angry.

"Then you tell me. Don't look at me like a child." Killua growls.

"I don't think you're a child but...you're not an adult-"

"Why does it matter so much what my age is?" Killua snaps, his pupils becoming longer in a burst of frustration. When Gon can't answer, when he can only avert his gaze, Killua's eyes flash before he grinds his teeth and marches out of the room.

Gon lets him go this time. His heart is beating so fast it hurts. His stomach turning in guilt. Because of these feelings, he's made Killua upset already. Why did he have to forget about this bag? He's a bad caretaker. Gon closes his bedroom door and locks it. He lays in bed, staring up at the ceiling. He doubts he could masturbate now with how shitty he's feeling.

Gon covers his face with his hands and stays like that for quite awhile.

* * *

"Damn it." Killua curses under his breath, his ears twitching when he hears the door close behind him and lock. His ears flatten and he stares the floor, his heart rate still spiked.

"Big brother..." Alluka frowns when she sees this, walking over to Killua and hugging him. Despite his anger, he's able to wrap one arm around Alluka, her warmth calming him down slightly. "Why were you fighting with Gon?"

"Because he didn't want to tell me what that thing was. He kept saying it's an adult thing. My age really does bother him, sis." Killua's heart sinks. His anger comes back when he hears Hisoka chuckling, smirking at him from on the couch, his tail waving around in amusement.

"I told you your age would. You just don't like to listen to me, and I have a lot I can tell you, Killua. If you want to get into Gon's pants, you're not going to with that moodiness. Don't give me that look."

Hisoka licks his lips when Killua's eyes slowly get darker, those pupils getting longer.

"You're never going to mate with Gon. He even told you flat out he doesn't want you as a mate. I'll figure out a way to make Gon see my age isn't a big deal." Killua smirks at Hisoka who doesn't seem at all bothered by his comment.

"Why should that stop me? Gon said he doesn't want me as a mate, that doesn't mean he won't mate with me. You'll see. Gon is in a very...vulnerable moment. I'm very interested to see how this will turn out." Hisoka's yellow eyes gleam.

"What do you mean by 'vulnerable' moment?"

"If you knew what that thing was you'd understand. I could tell you if you like. Unlike you Killua, I don't mind sharing Gon. I wouldn't mind seeing you get him, but you are just so stingy when it comes to the cute little one."

"I don't need you telling me anything. I'll look it up." Killua snarls stubbornly. "I'm not sharing him with anyone." He hisses. Alluka moving away from her brother when she can tell the kind of mood he's getting in, sitting on the floor to color with the crayons Gon had given her.

"But you don't even know what to look up. You don't know what that was used for or it's name."

Hisoka smirks when Killua clicks his tongue against his teeth. "You were really trying today but you have it all wrong. Indirect things such as gifts won't get your intentions across to someone like Gon. The touching is good but you need to hit the weak points. I was trying to guide you earlier by licking his neck and you took the bait." Hisoka purrs.

"I don't need your help, and I don't want you licking him or touching him either." Killua walks closer, his tail swishing behind him as he marches up to Hisoka, narrowing his eyes at him.

"If you keep being mean to me, I'll put more effort into it." Hisoka's eyes narrow back at him, those yellow eyes gleaming with an insidious flare. "I'm being civil. I can be a lot nastier, and you know it. Right now it's entertaining me, seeing you get all worked up over Gon and getting angry at me, but I get bored quickly."

"I'm being civil as well." Killua points his nails at Hisoka in warning, his canines showing. "You've seen how nasty I can get. Don't fuck with me."

Hisoka just smiles that pleased smile of his. "That's true, that's true." Hisoka chuckles. "Killua is strong~, so why don't you just take Gon?"

"Huh?" Killua raises his eyebrow, putting his hand down.

"You're much stronger than him. It wouldn't be hard to just hold him down and mate. Yet you're trying to woo him-"

"I'm not going to treat him like those disgusting humans did to me. I'm not going to just take him." Killua growls, his tail twitching restlessly. His heart is beating faster though when the thought crosses his mind. He is stronger. He could easily hold down Gon if he really wanted to. He could easily force him down and mate with him. Killua's cheeks flush and he shakes his head, ignoring the urge to just do so. Hisoka is playing with his instincts.

"But you smell it don't you? The spike in his hormones from time to time. The arousal." Hisoka smirks when Killua averts his gaze.

"I've smelled it..."

"It's only natural that when he smells like that you'd want to take him. You're fighting your instincts Killua, it's like he's calling for you. You act like I'm the bad guy for suggesting that you take him, but I know you've had thoughts about it. I certainly have. I've had dreams of just making him scream and I would wake up, and I would want to to bust into his room to just make it real. You've had those dreams, haven't you?" Hisoka watches as Killua starts to sweat. He doesn't look at Hisoka, his ears back. The warmth is spreading through him even though he doesn't want it.

He has had a dream like that. Back when it was just Gon and him, the first day that old woman came looking for him...it started off like a nightmare. He was back at the lab and he was tied up and weak like how all those nightmares start, but Gon was there too. Those scientists were...fucking Gon. Gon was screaming for him and for the longest time, Killua could only watch as they did those disgusting things to Gon like they did to him.

The more he saw Gon's flushed face, the more he saw those amber orbs looking at him, the more panic set in and then his strength came back right when he knew the nasty human behind him was going to finish inside Gon. Killua killed them all. Instead of seeing if Gon was okay though...Killua took the place of human and had his way with Gon. It felt so real, like Killua could hear his voice and feel his warmth. It felt amazing. The only thought crossing his mind was claiming Gon, making him his. He was completely lost in the feeling.

Killua was surprised at such a dream but now he understands it. He was driven mad by his fear, anger and lust. He couldn't handle seeing that nightmare come true. But the thought of Killua taking Gon like he did in the dream, it makes his head feel dizzy and his cheeks flushed. He gets the dream now. He understands the want, the need in him.

"It's dangerous you know, fighting those instincts of yours. You're going to lose it soon and then you won't be able to stop yourself." Hisoka licks his lips. "Don't get me wrong, I'd love to see it~"

"You're the one I have to watch. I can control myself, you're the one who can't." Killua snaps out of his thoughts, his pupils that had gotten longer go back to normal and he takes a deep, calming breath.

"I'm controlling myself just fine, but it must be hell for you. You get to sleep with that cute one right next to you. You get to smell him and it must be thrilling to see a human so trusting of you that he would sleep. It must be hard to stop yourself from just indulging in him." Hisoka licks his lips, his eyes getting darker in his lust as he thinks about himself, his tail puffing up slightly.

"Fuck off." Killua snarls darkly but his pupils have gotten bigger, and his own tail has puffed up. He feels his boxers tighten, and all he wants to do is get them off. It irritates him how Hisoka's words are working him up but he's right. Last night was hard. Gon is just too...too...ugh. Killua doesn't know how to explain it. He wanted to mate with him last night a lot. He wanted to keep touching him too.

"Is someone getting excited?" Hisoka purrs, getting up. "Why don't you come over here so I can indulge in you-"

"Gross." Killua hisses, moving away from Hisoka.

"Gross?" Hisoka pouts. "But It was my words that got you so excited wasn't it, Killua-"

"It wasn't you. It was him." Killua flushes. "Just keep your mouth shut, you freak." Killua marches over, grabbing Gon's laptop before he sits next to Alluka, who is humming to herself. Killua runs his fingers through her hair, getting her to purr and to move closer to him.

"Gon likes freaky." Hisoka rolls around on the couch, making a low groan. "I didn't think he would be kinky...now I'm really excited. I bet he likes a little pain. Having a dildo...my." Hisoka's eyes roll back, his ears twitching on the top of his head, his expression of pure bliss as many thoughts and scenarios go through his head of just how he could play with his little human.

"Dildo?" Killua catches that and types it into the computer. He clicks on the first thing that comes up, a website seeming to be selling these things. "Sex toy?" Killua's pupils get bigger as he sucks in this information before he flushes. "I didn't know humans had such things. Why wouldn't Gon want the real thing though. Do these feel better?" Killua starts looking up other things, trying to understand.

One website told him that humans might not say they have a dildo because it's embarrassing or because they don't want their partner to get mad. Gon doesn't have to be embarrassed of anything around him. Killua just wants to understand him. He doesn't want Gon thinking of him as a child.

"Wow, there are a lot of different kinds of them." Alluka looks at all the pictures Killua is looking at.

"That one looks like the one Gon has!" Alluka's ears perk up. "What are they for big brother?"

"Some humans use them for artificial mating it seems" Killua glares. "Why does he need that thing? When I could mate with him for real? Is he not getting my advances?"

"Too young~" Hisoka coos getting Killua's ears to go back. He glares and starts doing some more research.

"How am I too young for this? I've already been mated with. Plenty of times, I understand the basics of it, I would have understood if he just told me what it was. It's not anything I'm new too." Killua mumbles, typing the word 'kinky' in. He reads some websites...foreplay huh? That's the neck licking Hisoka was talking about-

"It's cute how hard you're trying." Hisoka rubs against the couch.

"Stop rubbing your nasty scent on the couch."

"Big brother, how does this look?" Alluka grabs her brother's shirt. He looks down at the picture of a dog she's colored brown.

"It looks good, Alluka." Killua smiles at his sister when she smiles sweetly, he rubs the top of her head. Alluka lays her head on Killua shoulder, those blue eyes getting deeper for a moment ." Just be careful when you do mate with Gon, big brother. It can hurt."

Killua closes his eyes before he licks Alluka's cheek. "I know. I won't treat him like that. Don't worry, I'm not going to take him, and I'm not going to let Hisoka do that either."

Alluka relaxes and she nuzzles Killua's head. Killua purrs, closing the laptop, thinking for a moment before he stands up. "I'm going to check on Gon."

"You'll become annoying quickly if you follow him everywhere." Hisoka comments as Killua walks over to Gon's bedroom door. He glares at what he said but he doesn't care. He tries to open the door, his ears going back when he feels that it's locked. He hates when Gon does that.

They would lock the door to his room all the time. He felt trapped, and he was trapped. Locked doors here are nothing like the lab, but they still get him to feel anxious. It's like there's a barrier between him and Gon, like there was barrier between him and freedom at the lab. He doesn't want to have the feeling of something keeping him away from Gon.

"Gon, open the door." Killua's tail waves behind him and he starts to scratch at the door, his breathing increasing when Gon doesn't respond.

"He's locked you out Killua." Hisoka coos, watching with interest as Killua seems to get more and more frantic, his scratching getting deeper into the door.

"Gon, open the door! You know I don't like this shit." Killua starts to hit on the door. This has happened once before. Gon had locked the door while he was going to the bathroom. After Killua had a mini freak out, Gon told him he wouldn't lock anymore doors away from him. Why is he doing it now? Is he angry at him? When Gon doesn't make a move to unlock the door, Killua's eyes get pinpoint and he starts to sweat.

He's having images of that large door in front of him. Locked, keeping him in. Keeping him out. It's here again, this time keeping him away from Gon. No matter how much he hit that damn thing he couldn't get out.

"Gon!" Killua raises his voice. "I'm going to break the door, I'm going to do it; Gon, I can't deal with these doors-"

"Big brother..." Alluka frowns deeply, seeing how much her brother is sweating, watching the anxiousness turn into fear, his eyes shaking, his tail puffed up. "I-it's not the door at the lab. Big brother, it's okay-" Alluka tries to calm her brother down, those big blue eyes getting watery when she sees her brother's body getting flushed because he's so upset.

She remembers those bad men would say that when he gets flushed like that, it means his blood pressure is really high and that he gets like that when he's having his 'moments'. Alluka doesn't know about all of that but all she knows is that her brother is in distress and she needs to make him feel better somehow.

Killua opens his mouth like he's about to scream, only for his ears to twitch, his eyes widening when the door unlocks. Killua breathes heavily as the door slowly opens, revealing Gon. His hair is everywhere, his eyes half open, his body flushed and those eyes dull. Killua's breathing slowly goes back to normal, the flush in his skin fading as he stares at Gon, soaking him in.

"I-I'm sorry Killua. I forgot about not locking the door. I just..." Gon rubs his eyes, he covers his mouth after a moment. "S-Sorry!" He limps over to the bathroom, Killua's ears twitching when he hears Gon gag.

"Gon!" Killua rushes in, kneeling next to Gon who is hugging the toilet, still gagging. " Are you still sick? Have you gotten sicker?" Killua watches as Gon pulls away, wiping his mouth, taking note of how flushed his face is.

"I may have...I wasn't feeling awful today but I ended up falling asleep...it took you banging on the door to wake up and I felt horrible. I may have gotten sick." Gon frowns deeply over at Killua, his amber eyes bright. "Killua, I'm sorry. I made you angry and then I locked the door. You looked so scared...I didn't mean to make you anxious-"

"Don't say sorry, idiot." Killua helps Gon up, taking note how his limp has gotten worse. "Let's lay you back down, This is probably because you didn't get bed rest when you should have." Gon leans on him, Killua feeling how warm he is. His body is overheating. Killua helps Gon into bed gently, those blue eyes watching as Gon winces as his ankle brushes against the bed. "I"m going to change your bandages. I'll also get a wet rag. Do you have any medication?"

"Yeah. In the bathroom...in the cabinet. Get the tylenol. It will help with my fever." Gon reaches out, touching Killua's cheek, getting his eyes to widen slightly. "Are you okay? I really didn't mean to lock the door i-"

"Stop worrying about me, I'm fine. Just don't lock the door again. Let's worry about you. You're the one who's sick and injured." Killua snaps, his heat beating quickly from that concern in those amber eyes.

"Just wait here." Killua walks to the bathroom, Alluka peaking in, her ears back.

"Big brother, is Gon okay?"

"He's sick. Don't worry, I'm giving him medication." Killua gets the bottle of tylenol, grabbing the kit, and wetting a rag. He walks back into the room, seeing that his sister is now on the bed next to Gon, frowning while she paws at his flushed cheek curiously.

"Gon is sick? Maybe I can make him feel better." Hisoka peeks his head in.

"Hisoka, stay back." Killua snarls, ignoring him as he walks over to Gon's side. It looks like he's barely keeping his eyes open. "Gon, here." Killua's eyes soften as he puts the wet rag on his forehead. "Alluka, could you get him some water?"

"Yes!" Alluka gets off the bed and runs into the kitchen.

"How much medicine do you need?" Killua starts to read the bottle, blinking when Gon takes the bottle from him. He opens it and takes a quick swig of it.

"That should be enough." Gon licks his lips, putting the bottle down.

"Are you really suppose to drink it like that?" Killua's eyebrows furrow, looking at the bottle and seeing that Gon should have only had 15 mls. He had more than that, Killua is sure. He's a doctor, so he should know if it's okay or not…

"Killua, I think I'm being punished." Gon mumbles, getting Killua's ears to perk up. He gets closer to Gon, moving the rag around Gon's face, trying to cool him down.

"What are you talking about?"

"I never get sick. This is the first time in a while..."

"You got sick because you overwork yourself and you're out in the cold too much. You're a doctor. You should know that much." Killua grunts, touching Gon's arm before grabbing his hand, interlacing their fingers. "Are you thinking that your God is doing this?"

Gon frowns and doesn't respond.

"That's stupid. You're not bad. You haven't done anything wrong. It's because you caught something is all. So stop with that look on your face." Killua's ears flatten when Gon bites his lip, looking so guilty. "The only thing you did wrong was not taking care of yourself better."

Gon closes his eyes, taking a deep breath. Killua touches his face gently before gliding his hand down his chest. He stops at his belly button, Gon's eyes opening and looking at him tiredly. "Just relax."

Killua rubs his stomach in small circles. Gon watches him a moment before leaning his head back. "I'm going to change your bandage." Killua moves down, dragging his hand down Gon's leg, stopping right before the start of the wound. As he gets the bandage unwrapped, Alluka walks back in.

"I got you water, Gon." Alluka hands it to Gon, and he smiles at her.

"Thank you." He drinks a bit of it before putting it on the nightstand next to him, wincing when Killua removes the bandage completely.

"Gon, this is swollen." Killua stares at the wound closely, noticing how it's red. "This must have been hurting you today...working must have made it worse." Killua strokes the top of Gon's foot, looking up at Alluka. "Could you get ice?"

"Mmhmm!" Alluka runs out quickly.

"You two are fussing over him like mother hens. Humans get sick all the time." Hisoka comes into the room, Killua hissing at him.

"I don't' care about humans. I care about Gon. His body is in distress." Killua blinks when he feels Gon's hands in his hair. He looks over at Gon who is smiling gently, this glossy look in his eyes as he touches his ear.

"I thought you were mad at me."

"I was...sort of." Killua averts his gaze, he can't control the soft purring. "I'm not a child Gon. I know all about adult things. You didn't have to hide that you had a dildo-"

"E-Eh?" Gon tenses, sitting up in bed quickly. He starts to stammer. "Y-You didn't really look it up, did you-"

"I did! Because you didn't tell me. I don't like when you keep things from me Gon. You shouldn't feel like you have to hide. Nothing about you is bad to me." Killua crawls up Gon, the older man's eyes widening when he finds himself pinned under Killua who is still half naked, those blue eyes looking at him fiercely. "Don't look at my age. That is just of the age of my body. I know about the adult things so don't feel like you need to cover my eyes and ears. I've already seen it and worse."

"I just..." Gon's face gets more flushed and he looks away from Killua. He's sweating more. The way Gon looks right now, his lips parted as he breathes, is getting Killua's heart to hammer against his chest. Gon...is very handsome. His jaw line is sharp, sturdy. His amber eyes always filled with flames, his skin so tan. His cheeks are full and his lips are too. Even when he's ill, Killua reacts this way.

"K-Killua?" Gon tenses when Killua gets close to his face, licking the corner of his mouth. Killua's ears twitch at his name and he pulls away, looking into those amber eyes. He looks...not scared, but close to it. Those pupils are getting bigger as they lock on him. Killua leans closer, sniffing him. He grabs onto the bed, that urge hitting him again, this time harder.

This isn't the time for this. Gon is sick. Killua's eyebrows furrow and he leans in quickly, pecking Gon on the lips. He needed to do it just once. Gon's eyes are wide and he swallows thickly as Killua moves back down his body so he's down by his foot.

Gon starts to wiggle in discomfort, Killua's eyes narrowing when he sees Hisoka is licking up his foot.

"He tastes like salt." Hisoka dodges Killua who took a swing at his head.

"Don't lick him." Killua hisses, licking over the spot quickly, getting Gon to giggle.

"Stop that!" Gon groans when he sits up and he feels light headed. "You're tickling me."

"I got the ice!" Alluka runs in with the ice. Killua smiles at his sister, taking it so he can put the ice on his ankle. Killua ignores Hisoka who has started digging under the bed. He doesn't have time to deal with him.

"Gon, you should go to sleep. I'll take care of you." Killua glances back at Gon to see that his eyes are barely open.

"Killua, you shouldn't be...sitting like that."Gon frowns, looking at how Killua is sitting on his legs, his back to his face.

"Is it keeping you from sleeping?" Killua asks, closing his eyes when Gon reaches out and touches his back lightly. His fingers are gentle as he touches over his scars, Killua purring at the attention. Gon pulls his hand away, Killua's ears flattening in disappointment.

"Not really." Gon says after a while, wincing when Killua starts wrapping up his ankle.

"You're not going anywhere tomorrow." Killua says firmly.

"I have school tomorrow. I have to go-"

"No, you don't-"

"I can't stay-"

"You're sick, Gon." Killua glares back at him. Gon gives him a stubborn look in response.

"I'll be better in the morning-"

"If you're not?"

"I'll be okay-"

"No." Killua states firmly.

"Killua, you can't tell me not to go. I'm going tomorrow." Gon says just as firmly. Killua glares at him a moment before he gets an idea. His tail waves around before he finishes wrapping up Gon's leg.

"Fine. Whatever." Killua gets on top of Gon, curling around him, nuzzling his head. "Just get some sleep now."

Gon is hesitant but he wraps an arm around Killua. Hisoka leaves without being told, carrying something. Alluka turns off the lights, jumping into bed with them. She curls up next to the space near Gon, hugging her brother's arm.

"Killua..." Gon says weakly when Killua licks his cheek gently. "You don't want to be licking me when I'm sick-"

"It's okay. I don't get sick." Killua starts to run his fingers through Gon's hair, those amber eyes slowly shutting. "Just sleep." Killua moves his other hand down, rubbing his stomach and chest. It doesn't take much for Gon's breathing to get slow and his face to relax. He's still overheated but at least he's asleep.

Killua touches his lips before touching his thin neck, gliding his fingers up to Gon's ear. He just wanted to touch him a bit more. Killua watches Gon sleep for awhile, making sure he's not in any distress before he lays his head next to Gon's, getting comfortable on top of him.

Gon's warmth is soothing to him, and with his sister next to him, Killua can find himself slipping.

Before he falls asleep though, he reaches out and turns off the switch for Gon's alarm clock. Hopefully. since he's sick he'll oversleep. Maybe he'll sleep right through it.

Killua isn't going to let Gon get more sick.

Killua cuddles Gon, feeling like he needs to, like he needs to be close to this man. His heart can finally calm down from the door incident. Killua never wants to be locked away from Gon.

"Mine." Killua mumbles, kissing Gon lightly on the lips again before completely settling down, closing his eyes, letting his head rest against Gon's.

Killua will get Gon to see him as a mate. He'll make him see that age is just a number, and that Killua is enough man for him.

* * *

 **Thank you for all the reviews! And thanks again to my beta reader Anathemal!**


	9. Chapter 9

Gon coughs himself awake, every time he swallows he can feel a tickle in the back of his throat. Great. He really has gotten sick. Gon sniffles, his eyes fluttering open. He tenses when the first thing he sees are Killua's big blue eyes staring at him intently. The boy is laying on his chest, curled up on his body, his chin on top of his sternum, his white hair spread around him. His ears are perked up and it looks like Gon just woke him up by his cough.

"You're still feeling bad." Killua says more as a statement than a question. "That medication didn't work?"

"It helped with my fever. I don't feel the chills I did last night. I probably should take some more-" Gon glances over at his alarm clock. His eyes widen and he sits up, Killua's ears going back when he's knocked off his body, rolling on Alluka who was hugging Gon's arm. Her ears perk up, those blue eyes peeking at Gon. "It's nine?! I slept in! Why didn't my alarm go off?" Gon tries to get out of bed but Killua gets on top of him quickly, laying back down on his chest, pushing him back down. "Killua, get off, I have to go-"

"You're already late, so why not just stay in bed?" Killua's tail brushes against Gon's thigh. "You're still sick Gon-"

"I'm going to get behind!" Gon tries to sit up, but Killua just keeps pushing him back down.

"Gon, you should rest." Alluka's ears flatten as she goes back to hugging Gon's arm, nuzzling it. Killua glances at this before he locks eyes with Gon, whose amber eyes are shifting from here to there, mumbling nervously to himself.

"Killua, please get off. I'm fine. It's just a little cold-" The tickle gets worse in Gon's throat and he coughs loudly, covering his mouth. Killua's ears go back before he glares at him.

"I'm not getting off." Killua puts his full weight on Gon, laying with his stomach against Gon's stomach, his head resting on his chest and his legs spread around his hips. He's got him trapped in.

"K-Killua-" Gon starts feeling himself warm at having the boy's body flushed against his. His heart beats quickly in his chest, those big icy blue eyes filling him with a fire of sudden desire. A desire to touch Killua's hair and face and lips. A desire that's unhealthy.

"You'll be fine if you miss one day right? I'm not going to let you go out and get more sick. As your best friend, it's my job to look out for you and stop you from doing something stupid, right?" Killua's tail flicks, those blue eyes staring at him intently, watching his every facial expression.

"Killua-" Killua hisses at him. Gon frowns, glancing over at Alluka who is still nuzzling his arm, frowning at him with big eyes. Gon sighs. He doesn't feel good. That's true. He still has a fever and now he has a cough and a sore throat. He doesn't' have money to go to the doctor or health insurance. He's just going to have to tough it out.

Gon stares at Killua. His ear are back, those blue eyes daring him to try to get up. Gon chuckles, reaching up to pet Killua, feeling his soft hair. It's not like Killua is going to let him leave either.

Killua's dark looks leaves him and he starts to purr immediately, closing his eyes as he meets Gon's hand that is rubbing his hair before scratching behind his ears.

"...I guess one day won't be so bad. I'll just get the notes from Leorio." Gon flushes when Killua starts to rub his head against Gon's chest, his tail moving from side to side.

"Yay! Gons staying." Alluka cheers when Gon nuzzles her head, not able to help it.

"Yup, I am-" Gon stops talking when Killua suddenly climbs up him, hitting his head against Gon's, nuzzling him. It wasn't really aggressive but close. "You shouldn't get so close Killua, I don't want to get you sick." Gon chuckles nervously when Killua just leans his head against Gon's forehead, staring at him with those strange pupils that seem to get bigger. Gon can see every detail in his face…

Why does Killua have to be so attractive?

"I don't care." Killua grunts, kissing Gon's cheek. He turns his head, waiting for his. Gon swallows and leans in, kissing him. His lips tingling afterwards. Killua is so soft and kissable. Gon wouldn't mind kissing his face for hours or any other part of him for that matter-

Bad thoughts.

"Are you in pain? You just had a weird expression." Killua keeps close, his forehead on Gon's. "Your breathing has increased-"

"I don't feel so well, Killua. Could you get off me?" Gon asks as nicely as he can. He's not sure if he's going to throw up again but his stomach is twisting.

Killua gets off of him, his tail waving around as he watches Gon turn on his side and close his eyes. He's having a headache come on. "I'll get you some water and some food." Killua walks up to Gon, crouching down on his side of the bed. His lips are so close to Gon's own. "I'm going to take care of you, Gon. You can rely on me." Killua moves the hair away from Gon's forehead, staring into Gon's wide eyes before he leans in, giving him a kiss on the forehead. "You do taste like salt. But I like it."

"T-That water would be nice." Gon chuckles, pushing Killua away lightly. Luckily Killua stands up and nods his head.

"I'll get everything needed to care for you. I'll make you breakfast."

"I'll get some ice for your ankle!" Alluka crawls out of bed after her brother. Grabbing his hand, looking excited to help.

"We'll be back in a couple of minutes, Gon." Killua stares at him for the longest time. He's been staring harder at him recently. Killua has always been watching him but lately, it's like Gon can feel his stares. And they burn. Killua has also become more touchy. Gon would love it if he didn't react so much to it.

Killua is muscular, but he's slim too. His hips are bony but he has these small curves and his thighs look so soft to the touch...Gon has noticed these things. The 16 year old boy is Gon's type in every way.

He has to be. Gon loves everything about his body and his face. Killua is like his best friend now, his most important person who he has to care for.

These feelings mixed with lust and guilt, make it harder for Gon to care for Killua properly and keep him happy.

"Okay. Thank you Killua." Killua grunts something about 'stop thanking me' his ears going back, his cheeks dusted pink as he grabs Alluka's hand and walks out with her. Gon's eyes drift down his body as he walks away, he realizes what he's doing and looks away quickly.

He needs to get rid of his urges.

Gong coughs as he leans out of the bed, feeling under it to try to find the bag of naughty things Leorio gave him to help. He frowns when he doesn't feel the bag. He leans down so his head is touching the floor, his body still on the bed. It's not under the bed. He put it there yesterday?

"Looking for this?" Gon tenses when he feels something poke his butt. He gets up quickly, sitting up in bed seeing that Hisoka is now laying next to him. He holds the dildo in his hand, waving it around with a smirk, those yellow eyes gleaming at him.

"Hisoka, when did you get in here? And don't play with that-" Gon flushes, trying to reach to get the dildo out of this man's hands but the more he reaches up to get it, the more he ends up pressed against Hisoka's large chest. Only when Hisoka wraps a leg around his waist, pulling him closer, does Gon realize he's naked.

"I just snuck in with my cat form while Killua was fussing about you." Hisoka purrs, his tail brushing against Gon's thigh. Gon swallows, not really liking how close he is to this larger, naked man. He's very warm though. "You never play with me Gon. You're always playing with Killua." Hisoka pouts, Gon getting red when he drags the dildo over Gon's lips, the firm toy brushing against his cheek and chin as well.

"You want to use this don't you? Why don't you play with me Gon? I could...help you out." Hisoka licks his lips, his eyes gleaming when Gon glares at him, grabbing the dildo, stopping Hisoka from rubbing it on his face.

"I don't need any help." Gon turns his back to Hiska to put the dildo in his night stand. "Where did you put the lube-" Gon doesn't' feel as embarrassed talking to Hiska about this. The older man already knows and he's older than him.

"Gon~" Gon stiffens when Hisoka wraps his arms around him, pulling Gon closer to his body. He can feel something very hard and long against his back. Hisoka is purring his name, right next to his ear before he licks up the shell, Gon closing his eyes. His ears are a weakness too. "Smelling you getting aroused is too much for me. I can get you off, so let's play before Killua comes back."

"Get off of me, Hisoka." Gon coughs, that tickle in his throat putting him through a fit. The air he barely had is caught in his throat when he feels those large arms around him, the other man's hand palming his slightly hard member through his pants. Hisoka clicks his tongue.

"You say that, but look at you. Tell me Gon, what's gotten you so worked up?" Hisoka breathes against his ear, getting Gon to shiver. He grabs Hisoka's wrist when he started to work his way into his pants.

"N-No reason." Gon swallows, his eyebrows furrowing when he feels how strong Hisoka is. When he tries to pull the hand away, he can't.

Hisoka chuckles, those yellow eyes gleaming in amusement. His ears twitch on top of his head and he glances towards the door. "My offer still stands. Think about it." Hisoka licks up the shell of Gon's ear, his blood rushing to the area. Hisoka unwraps himself from Gon's body, turning into a cat. He jumps off the bed, running under it.

Gon is left a flushed mess, his coughing starting up again and it's starting to hurt his chest. His throat feels dry and every time he swallows, it hurts. Why did he have to go and do that? It's bad enough as it was. Gon can't believe there was a moment where he hesitated, where he considered letting Hisoka 'help' him. Gon can handle this himself. He doesn't have to make things more complicated.

Maybe it's the fever. Gon isn't in his right mind. If he is in his right mind, Gon didn't know he was so desperate. Killua is getting him to that point though. All these touches and kisses are be coming too much. The cold no longer bothers him.

It's Killua's warmth that's burning him now.

"I made some eggs and toast for you." Killua walks into the room, holding a plate of food. His ears are back as he rushes over to Gon and hands him a glass of water. "I heard you coughing from the other room. Are you sure that medication is working?"

"It will. It will help with the fever. I just need to drink more." Gon takes the water and starts to drink, closing his eyes, his heart hammering in his chest when Killua's expression starts to change. Gon turns his body slightly, feeling restless when he hasn't gotten unexcited down there. Killua's ears go back watching Gon, his eyes narrowing before he leans in, sniffing Gon's face. "Killua?" Gon questions nervously when Killua's eyes flash darker.

"Why do I smell Hisoka on you?" Killua jumps on the bed, crawling up Gon's body before he can stop him. He sniffs his ear before licking up the same one Hisoka did. Gon bites his lip, his body feeling warmer and it's not the fever.

"Killua, get off-" Gon tries but soon Killua is sniffing his shoulder and traveling lower.

"He rubbed himself on you. Did he do this when I was in the other room?" Killua's eyes become wide when he sniffs a little low to Gon's liking. He has to grab his hair slightly to stop him from putting his nose too close to his crotch. "He touched you there?" Killua snarls.

"He just came in a little bit. It's alright, I'll deal with it when i'm better-" Gon tries to calm Killua down who seems to be getting increasingly angrier.

"It's alright?" Killua mumbles, those blue eyes staring at him intently, his pupils getting longer and those eyes get that glossed look. The same look Gon had saw when he was half awake. Gon yelps when Killua pounces on him, biting his ear, brushing his body against his.

Gon's lips tremble and he has to stop himself from bucking up against Killua. This is torture. Why does Killua have to tempt him like this? Gon can't deal with the warmth.

"Killua, get off." Gon's voice breaks off into a sigh when Killua licks up his ear, rolling his hips against his. There's a part of Gon that just wants to let this happen. That's the part of him that makes Gon sick.

"Big brother." Alluka frowns deeply. "Gon is telling you to get off. He's sick!" Alluka grabs her brother's arm. Killua tenses, glaring darkly at his sister getting her eyes to widen. Killua stares at her for a long moment before those eyes slowly go back to normal and he frowns when he sees her eyes watering.

"S-Sis. I didn't mean to glare at you, I was just..." Killua stops when he looks down at Gon who's flushed underneath him, his chest heaving up and down. Killua licks his lips, jumping off of Gon quickly, his cheeks dusting pink. "What was I just...?"

"You were licking me..." Gon averts his gaze. Killua looks like he's about to freak out. He seems confused. Did he not know what he was doing? The last time Gon blamed it on Killua being half awake, this time he's not so sure.

"I don't know what came over me-" Killua starts only to stop. His eyebrows furrow before he turns and glares at the door. "Hisoka was touching you." Killua cracks his fingers. "Alluka, watch after Gon. I'm going to have a chat with Hisoka."

"Killua don't get into a fight-" Gon starts but Killua has already walked out of the room, his tail flicking behind him.

"Big brother is protective of you." Alluka puts a wet rag on Gon's forehead before handing him the plate of food that Killua made him. Gon sits up in bed, looking over at Alluka who has climbed in bed. She lays her head on his shoulder. "He's worried about your illness."

"It's nothing to be worried about. Just a little cold. It should be gone soon." Gon smiles reassuringly at Alluka, getting some of the eggs on his fork before he puts them in his mouth. He frowns when he hears hissing in the other room and then something shattering. "Hey! No fighting-" Gon coughs after he shouts, Alluka rubbing her head against his shoulder t comfort him.

"Don't push yourself, Gon. Big brother will worry more." Alluka licks his shoulder as Gon drinks some more of his water. "Big brother has to show Hisoka that he's the dominant one here or he'll keep trying to do things to you." Alluka hugs Gon. "Big brother really likes you so...get better soon okay?" She puts the ice bag she brought on Gon's ankle.

"...I will." Gon rubs behind Alluka's ears, trying to comfort her when she's trembling. Killua marches back in the room soon enough, his ears back, his pupils big.

"When he does something like that, scream, yell for me. He's stronger than you and he can hurt you." Killua marches over to Gon, those eyes changing when he sees how Gon is rubbing Alluka's hair. His shoulders tense up and his tail puffs up. He jumps on the bed and crawls over, getting on Gon's chest once again. " Don't let him rub on you. Smelling his scent on your body is..." Killua's ears go back, those blue eyes starting to get that look again.

"He surprised me." Gon frowns when Killua starts to sniff his face again. Killua's tail is brushing against his thigh. "Killua, what did you break in there?-" Gon's breath hitches when Killua licks at the corner of his mouth.

Alluka's ears go back at seeing this, averting her gaze, grabbing her feet to give her something to do. She can smell the air. She's young but she knows what the hormones her brother is secreting and what they mean.

"I don't like it." Killua growls, his lips leaning too close to his. It looks like Killua is about to kiss him.

At this moment, that's the last thing Gon needs. Gon quickly covers his mouth with his hand, Killua's lips touching his hand instead. Killua's eyes narrow, nipping at his hand but Gon doesn't move it.

"Killua, I told you what that kind of kiss means." Gon tries, keeping his hand between them.

"I know what it means." Killua states bluntly. "I am going to try being direct with you. Gon I want to-"

His ears perk up, along with Alluka's. They quickly turn into cats just as there's loud banging at his door. Gon frowns, rubbing his forehead. His heart is still beating too fast to his liking. Killua is going to kill him. He really is. Gon looks at the white cat that is laying on his chest, those blue eyes watching him curiously. Gon sits up, coughing slightly, getting the white cat's ears to flatten.

Gon pets Killua on the head before he moves Killua off of him so he can get up. Gon walks out of the room, wincing slightly when he puts his weight on his bad leg. Killua and Alluka follow after him, only to hide behind the couch. Gon glances over, seeing Hisoka in the corner in his cat form. He's bleeding on his chest, some ornaments have fallen off the tree and shattered.

Another loud knock at his door gets Gon to focus on the reason he forced himself out of bed in the first place.

Gon frowns...if it's that old lady again... Gon walks up to the door, reaching out to open it only to tense when the door unlocks by itself and his thrown open.

"Gon!" Leorio comes barging in, when he sees Gon standing there, his eyes wide, his hand out to open the door, he sighs in relief. "Are you alright? I came as soon as school got out!" Lerio frowns when he sees how Gon is flushed and the tired look in his eyes.

"You didn't have to come all this way." Gon smiles when he sees that Kurapika is right behind him. He moves to let the two come in and he closes the door, sealing off the cold air. "I'm just a little sick so I stayed home-"

"Oh no. It's not a little sick." Leorio glares at him, reaching out and touching his forehead. His eyebrows furrow. "You're burning up! Have you been drinking enough? Did you take any medication?"

"I had some tylenol last night." Gon closes his eyes when Kurapika also feels on his head, frowning.

"Maybe you should go to the doctor Gon. Since I've known you, I don't remember you ever getting sick." Kurapika eyes show that concern.

"...I can't really afford it right now." Gon winces when both Kurapika and Leorio frown. "B-But it's okay! This isn't bad. I'm sure tylenol and rest will do the trick!"

"We'll see about that." Leorio shakes his head. "Do you have a sore throat-" Leori starts to question on to stop suddenly, his eyes widening before he narrows his eyes. "Gon..." He smiles with his eyes closed, pointing behind him. "What is that?" His lips twitch.

"What?" Gon turns around. Killua , Alluka and Hisoka have come out of hiding. Alluka is staring at them with big blue eyes, her tail waving around. Hisoka's eyes gleam, and he licks his lips. Killua glares at Kurapika and Leorio, his tail flicking behind him in annoyance. Gon winces. oh... "I forgot to tell you. I got two more cats. The black one is Alluka and the red one is Hisoka." Gon smiles sheepishly.

Leorio's smile doesn't fall. "Ah...Alluka and Hisoka huh?" Leorio opens his eyes, glaring at Gon, getting him to tense. "What the hell are you thinking?! Having one cat is bad enough! Gon, you can't afford to take yourself to the doctor! You can't afford all these cats!" Leorio grabs a hold of Gon's shirt, shaking him.

"Leorio." Kurapika frowns. "Don't jerk him around when he's sick-"

"You're stressing yourself out Gon! If school and work weren't enough! Now you have all these cats and you're dealing with your feelings for that guy...you're trying to give me a heart attack-" Leorio keeps shaking Gon. It's not rough and Gon doesn't mind it. He understands why Leorio is so upset. Right now, Leorio must think Gon isn't neglecting his own needs to care for the cats. He knows how much he makes. He knows what he can and can't afford.

But Gon needs Killua. Leorio just doesn't understand. And he can't understand. Though Kurapika and Leorio are his best friends, and he wants to let them know about Killua, he can't. He doubts if he told them it would ease their minds anyway. Leorio might just die of a heart attack. They would probably call him stupid for having government experiments here but Gon doesn't care. He needs to keep them all safe, the best way to do that is to keep his mouth shut and let Leorio think these are all normal cats-

Gon's eyes widen when the white cat suddenly hisses, running up and jumping on the back of Leorio's head, his nails latching onto his flesh. Leorio shouts in alarm, letting go of Gon and moving back, grabbing Killua, trying to get him off, but he just digs deeper.

"Killua, what are you doing!" Gon runs over to Leorio and grabs Killua, the cat finally letting go. Killua's tail is all puffed up, his pupils large as he hisses at Leorio in Gon's arms. "Killua, that was bad!" Gon scolds. Killua looks up at him, his ears flattening before he averts his gaze.

"That mother fucker just attacked me! He's crazy! He tried to kill me!" Leorio rubs his head, his eyes still wide.

"Loeiro, the cat didn't try to kill you. You probably got the cat all worked up from shaking Gon like that. I told you not to do that." Kurapika scolds, rubbing Leorio's head. When Leorio glares at him...Kurapika can't help to chuckle about the situation. "I haven't heard that kind of scream before."

"You're such an ass." Leorio grumbles, his cheeks dusting.

"I'm sorry about that, Leorio. Killua must have misunderstood." Killua's tail waves around, those eyes glaring into the wall, his ears still flatten as he's been held by Gon.

"Ugh. Why do you even like that one?" Leorio grumbles, rubbing the back of his head. He glances over at Alluka who is staring up at him with big blue eyes, tilting her head. Her ears are back, she seems wary of him. Leorio frowns. "Now don't look at me like I'm a bad guy." He sighs, holding out his hand towards Alluka. She pauses before she walks closer, sniffing his fingers. "This one is cute Gon, but wasn't Killua enough?"

"He was, but I'm happy to have more cats." Gon puts Killua down, locking eyes with him. "Be good, Killua."

Killua walks away, his tail flicking behind him in irritation. Gon sighs. He knows Killua is going to be angry at him.

"This one is friendly." Kurapika glances down at Hisoka who is brushing against his legs, those yellow eyes gleaming at him. "It looks like he's injured." Kurapika frowns before looking at Gon. "Did you find them in the street as well?"

"Yes." Gon keeps his face normal but he hates having to lie to his best friends. Gon watches as Killua gets in front of Alluka and hisses at Leorio when he tried to pet her.

"Is Alluka a female? You might want to be wary. It looks like Killua likes her." Leorio frowns. Killua glares at Leorio.

"They're just close is all." Gon takes a seat on the couch, feeling a little light headed from standing too long. He's getting a headache. Gon watches as Hisoka jumps onto his lap, purring. He flops down in his lap, rolling on his back, exposing his stomach.

"That's a big cat. He's sort of cute, I guess, but he has some weird eyes." Leorio crosses his arms watching as Gon pets Hisoka, scratching him under the chin, not really thinking about it. Killua starts to hiss.

"Leorio, could I have the notes for today?" Gon keeps petting Hisoka, running his hand from the top of his head down to his tail when he turns back around on his stomach. Killua jumps on the couch, hissing more. The hissing isn't helping Gon's growing headache. "Killua, be good." Gon gives the white cat a look. His ears flatten before he glares at Hisoka who licks his lips,rolling around in Gon's lap.

"Yeah, you can. I got it right in here." Leorio takes off his book bag, digging in it for his folder.

Killua suddenly pounces on Hisoka, the larger cat moving out of the way so those nails dig in Gon's thigh instead. Gon yelps, pushing Killua off of him. The white cat's ears flatten, those blue eyes staring up at him.

"What is up with Killua?" Leorio hands Gon his notes just as Hisoka gets back on his lap. Killua's tail waves around restlessly when he sees how Gon lets Hisoka just lay on his lap. Leorio frowns when he sees how Gon is rubbing his head. He ends up leaning over, laying his head on Hisoka. "Gon, maybe you should sleep."

"Maybe I should." Gon mumbles, holding the notes in his hands. Hisoka is purring and it's distracting, but he's soft as a cat.

"Alluka is cute." Kurapika is silently gushing over Alluka but she's quick to run away from him and hide behind the couch. He frowns. "Is something wrong with me? Killua and Alluka have had the same reaction to me."

"Pussy just doesn't' like you-" Leorio starts only for Kurapika to march over to Leorio and grab his ear, yanking hard. "Ow! Ow, shit! Don't be mad because I fried you! That's what you get for laughing at Killua attacking me- ow!"

Despite how crappy Gon feels, he can't help to chuckle at the two, giggling to himself. "I can't believe you just said that Leorio." Gon's chuckling gets Kurapika to stop yanking on Leorio's ear. He glances over at him before he sighs. His eyebrow still twitches in irritation but there's a smile of amusement on his face.

"Don't encourage him, Gon."

"He's laughing because he knows I just fried you-"

"I'll pull your ear again."

"..." Leorio grumbles to himself, getting Gon to chuckle again. Leorio knows better not to mess with Kurapika. His lover can be scare if he needs to be.

The white cat watches as Gon giggles, continuing to lay his head on Hisoka who has started to lick at Gon's hair. Killua's eyes narrow, a growl in the back of this throat before he jumps off the couch and runs off in a fit of anger. The white cat spots the flower Gon had put in the glass. His tail puffs up before he jumps up on the table. He knocks it down, the glass scattering.

"Killua ,what-" Gon gets up, coughing slightly, knocking Hisoka off of him. Killua stands on the table, his tail moving around slowly. Gon frowns when Killua just jumps off the table and runs into his bedroom.

"That cat is spoiled. He's disrespecting you, Gon." Leorio glares after Killua, watching as Alluka runs after him.

"He's just a cat, Leorio. Though, I'm sure he knows better." Kurapika shakes his head, glancing over at Gon who is rubbing his forehead. "Gon, why don't you lay down? I'll clean it up for you."

"Yeah. You should get plenty of rest today. Finals are coming up you know?"

"Thank you Kurapika. I just think I need to sleep this off." Gon smiles tiredly. If he had more energy, he would have fought them more but right now, his head is really hurting. His skin is flushed and he's getting cold just standing here. He wants to curl up in his blankets and not come out.

"Of course. We'll see ourselves out."

"Just don't do stuff in here while I'm asleep." Gon yawns, a slight grin on his face when Kurapika and Leorio flush.

"W-We wouldn't do anything in your house-" Leorio starts.

"Oh yeah? You guys told me how you did it on Knuckle's kitchen table when you were house sitting for him-"

"You told him about that?!" Kurapika gets so red, glaring at Leorio.

"He's my buddy! Who else am I going to talk to about your crazy sexual fantasies-ow! It was your idea though- ow, not the ear, Kurapika-"

Gon walks into his bed room, chuckling to himself. He's used to this. If those two weren't fighting it would be weird. That's just how they are and it's amusing to Gon most of the time.

Gon flops down on his bed, crawling up it and then getting under the covers. He feels the blanket tighten around him and he opens his eyes, seeing Killua walking on the blanket still in his cat form before he lays down, Alluka doing the same. Killua keeps his back to Gon...he's sure he's angry with him.

They'll have to talk about it once Gon gets up but right now…

Gon closes his eyes and sleep takes him instantly.

* * *

Gon groans, feeling a pressure on his lap. He opens his eyes, his throat feeling dry. His eyes widen when he sees how dark it's gotten and he sits up quickly. He feels panicked when he hears whimpering below him. He looks down, seeing Alluka laying on his lap, her blue eyes watery, her tail wrapping around Gon's wrist. She's not wearing any clothes and Gon's sure she just jumped on him and that's what woke him up.

"Alluka, are you okay?" Gon frowns when he sees how her ears are down. He glances at the clock and sees it's 9 PM. He really slept a lot but he feels better. A lot better than he did this morning.

"Big brother and Hisoka are fighting-" Alluka starts to say just when there's a loud bang in the living room and shouting. She sinks into him more, hugging his waist. "I know you said not to! Don't be mad at big brother!" She pleads.

"Killua, Hisoka!" Gon shouts, frowning deeply at the hissing he hears. How long has this been going on? Both Hisoka and Killua have really been acting up today! Gon looks down at Alluka who is still holding on to him tightly, looking at him with pleading eyes.

"It's okay Alluka." Gon rubs behind her ears. All the loud sounds have stopped in the other room. His shout seems like that's all they needed to stop. Alluka's ears slowly perk back up and she lets him go so Gon can get up. He winces slightly when he puts weight on his hurt leg. He limps into the living room with Alluka walking behind him, fiddling with her fingers.

"What is going on here?" Gon's eyes widen when he sees the damage done. His kitchen table is turned over, any glasses on the kitchen counter is shattered and on the ground. There are scratch marks all over his walls and the tree has toppled over. Gon's eyes immediately fall on Killua who is staring at him with big eyes. There's something in those blue orbs that might have been guilt but it's gone soon enough with Killua averting his gaze from Gon. Killua doesn't seem to be hurt, Hisoka who is standing in the corner, staring at him with amusement doesn't' seem to be hurt either. It looks like they mainly attacked his home.

"Hisoka over stepped his boundaries once again. I was just putting him in his place. Are you going to call me bad again, Gon?" Killua looks back at him, this smirk on his lips, those blue eyes getting darker. "Go ahead Gon. Yell at me. Call me bad."

Gon swallows when he glances over, seeing that picture is on the ground. It's such a big mess. Flashbacks come to him, seeing the tree like this, seeing all the shattered glass everywhere...It's just like the Christmas after Mito passed. Gon put everything together to just have a mental break down, and he started tearing everything up, screaming from the top of his lungs. Those deep emotions that he experienced during that time still linger when ever he sees the tree and the bright lights.

"B-Big brother doesn't mean that Gon. He's just upset." Alluka ears go back.

"No, I do mean it, sis. Gon always looks at me and calls me bad when it's been Hisoka this whole time. The first person he looked at was me when he came out here." Killua hisses. "Do you know how it feels for you to call me bad and then pet Hisoka after he did those things to you? I was protecting you from that guy who was shaking you and you call me bad! While you were asleep, I made sure that Hioska didn't do anything to you and I bet you just want to call me bad don't you? Am I really bad to you as well Gon?!" Killua raises his voice, his ears going back, his face getting red again from his anger. Those pupils have become pinpoint.

"Hehe, all humans think of you as being bad, don't they, Killua?" Hisoka covers his mouth to hide his chuckle. "But you know what you're good at, and these skills aren't needed."

"They called you a monster." Killua snarls, the veins in this arms can be seen as he grips his fists. "You are a monster and once Gon sees that, he'll understand why he should be petting you. Gon, this guy would-" Killua's words stop when he sees Gon's face. His ears that were back perk up, his eyes widening slightly. His whole demeanor changes. "Gon..."

Gon doesn't look at him, his gaze averted, tears welling up in his eyes and falling down his cheeks.

"Gon, why are you..." Killua's ears flatten before his eyes tremble as he looks around, taking in how the tree is down and all the damage, really looking at it for the first time. "Shit I wasn't even thinking I..." Killua looks at the kitchen and the walls, and he winces. "This asshole kept running away-"

"Did you expect me to stay still so you could attack me?" Hiska raises his eyebrow. He glances at Gon, seeing the dull look in his eyes. Hisoka's ears go back. "Ohh, I don't like that look. Killua, did you break him? I will not be happy if my fun is already over."

"Gon..." Killua ignores Hisoka, his ears staying flat at seeing that expression on the older man's face. "I can fix it." Killua's tail gets puffed up in his panic-

"No." Gon speaks, everyone's ears flattening. There's none of that spark. "I'll do it, Killua. Head into the other room and put on some clothes."

"Gon, I can fix this-" Killua starts, those pupils getting bigger. The boy is getting upset, that guilt shining through. His ears perk up when there's a knock at the door.

"Killua, take Alluka and Hisoka and go into my bed room. I'll take care of it." Gon wipes away his tears, feeling exhausted all over again.

Killua's shoulder are stiff. He pauses, he opens his mouth before he closes it. He grinds his teeth before he glares over at Hisoka. "Come on." He marches over to Alluka, grabbing her hand before walking with her into the bedroom. Hisoka glances at Gon before he walks in with them. Killua gets one look at Gon before they shut the door.

Gon takes a deep breath, getting himself ready for whoever is at his door at this hour. Gon walks up to the door and opens it. He's not surprised when he sees his next door neighbor at his door.

"Gon, are you okay? I-I heard yelling and banging." She frowns, those white eyes looking to the side. She grips onto her walking stick, snot dripping down her nose, her face flushed from the cold.

"I'm okay, Komugi. I'm sorry if I woke you up. You really shouldn't come out for my sake, there's a lot of ice at night." Gon starts to feel a little something at seeing her. She's so kind and thoughtful. It's amazing how much she can do, she's never let being born blind stop her in life. When Gon sees her, he's filled with that fire again, that spark. He can't give up.

"It's okay, I can feel it with my stick." She smiles. "It s-sounded bad...are you sure you're okay Gon? I know this time of year is hard for you...w-would you like to come over to play some games?"

Komugi was there when he had that mental break down. Well, she heard it at least. Speak of bad first impressions, that was hers. Surprisingly that little stunt didn't scare her off, she's been kind towards him.

Gon glances back at the mess his home is before he sighs. "I have to clean up. If you would like, you could come in and have some hot cocoa."

"I would l-like that. My p-parents are in one of their moods." She beams when Gon offers for her to come in. She walks in, moving her walking stick in front of her. Gon closes the door behind her, moving some glass out of the way so she doesn't' step on it. Komugi doesn't say anything even though Gon knows she heard it. "C-Christmas isn't good."

"I like Christmas. Despite everything, I can't dislike it." Gon stands by the couch, Komugi following the sound of his voice. "You can have a seat on the couch. I'll get you that cocoa."

"T-Thank you,Gon." She smiles at the wall, moving slowly over. She feels for the couch before she sits down slowly.

Gon walks into the kitchen, putting the table back up right. He gets everything out to make the cocoa before he starts sweeping up all the broken glass on the floor.

"Did you h-have another break down?" Komugi asks quietly. Gon throws the glass he sweeped in the pan in the trash.

"Just a little. I'm okay." Gon sighs as he gets a cup of milk, putting the packet of cocoa in it before putting it in the microwave. "I've just been stressed, is all."

"That's understandable." She fiddles with her dress, her eyes closed like they usually are. "I know you're going through a lot so...I really appreciate this."

"You came to check on me." Gon chuckles. "I wasn't just going to close the door on you. And you're welcome here anytime. I know how you don't like it there." The microwave dings, Gon taking the hot cocoa out and giving it to Komugi with a rag so she doesn't' burn herself. "I could use help cat sitting if your interested."

"You have c-cats?" She opens her eyes, and they light up, looking down at her hot coco. "I'd love to help you out, Gon. It would give me a reason to get out of the apartment."

"Yeah, I do. Killua, Hisoka, Alluka, come out here." Gon walks over to the Christmas tree and lifts it back up. Luckily the ornaments didn't shatter, there's just some on the floor. There's a pause before the door opens slightly, being cracked.

All the cats come out hesitantly. Killua is watching Gon intently as he puts the ornaments back on the tree, his ears flattened-

"Say hi to Komugi. She's going to be watching you guys sometimes when I'm gone." Gon looks over at Killua who just stares at him. Hisoka jumps up and starts rubbing his head against Komugi's, getting her to giggle. Alluka seems hesitant but soon she jumps up, sniffing Komugi. Killua doesn't get near her, he just keeps staring at Gon.

"This one is friendly." She smiles, petting Hisoka.

"He can be a bit too friendly." Gon walks over to the picture on the floor. The frame is broken. Gon gets on his knees and picks it up slowly. He glances over at Killua who has walked closer to him. His tail twitches when their eyes meet and he doesn't' get any closer. His ears are flattened, he looks so dejected.

Gon sighs, already feeling his chest get tight. He knows Killua feels awful for this. Gon didn't want to cry in front of them. It wasn't really the damage they caused. It was just that it reminded him of a darker time. Also today has been stressful with Killua and Hisoka acting out, and his illness.

Gon smiles at Killua. The cat's ears perk up, those blue eyes getting bigger before he runs towards Gon. He sits next to him, watching as Gon pulls the picture out of the glass. His ears go back only to perk up when Gon shows him the picture.

"This is Mito, and this is me, when I was 7 years old." Gon points at Mito, watching as Killua's pupils slowly get bigger as he takes in the picture. He looks at Gon, watching the expression on Gon's face as he smiles sadly at the picture.

Gon looks away from the picture when Killua rubs his head against his arm.

"Gon, did you say something?" Komugi asks, still petting Hisoka on the head, and now Alluka who has warmed up to Komugi is rubbing against her.

"Oh, nothing. I was just talking to Killua."Gon smiles at the cat that's still rubbing against him before he licks his arm. " I really miss her, Killua." Killua stops rubbing against him and looks up with these slanted blue eyes. "After Mito died, I made a mess like this and when you made this mess, I was just reminded of that bad time. I'm okay now."

"You speak to them l-like they're people." Komugi smiles over at Gon. "Their fur is nice...you t-take care of them well. I'd love to have a cat of my own but mother is allergic."

"Yeah, I know." Gon smiles back at Komugi only to blink when Killua gets on his lap, standing on his hind legs to rub his head against Gon's chin. He reaches up and pets behind Killua's ear, the cat tensing before purring. "It's okay."

Gon moves Killua out of his lap so he can pick up the glass pieces before walking into the kitchen to throw them away. Killua follows after him everywhere he goes.

"When would you like me to cat sit?" Komugi asks after she finishes her coco.

"I'll call you. But if it ever gets bad over there, you're welcome to come over here, even if I don't' need you to cat sit, Komugi."

"I-I'll remember that." She smiles before she gets up. "I'll head back. It's late. I don't w-want them to lock me out." She gets up, Hiska and Alluka jumping away from her. She walks towards the door, Gon opening it for her.

"Okay. I'll see you later Komugi. Stay safe. Thanks for stopping by." Gon watches as the younger girl smiles at him.

"N-No thank you. I'll see you later Gon, good night." She walks out into the cold. Gon doesn't stay anything but he watches her walk till she gets to her door, making sure she gets in before he closes his door and locks it.

"Who was she?" Gon turns around, Alluka the one who asked the question. Killua has his head bowed, his bangs in his face so he can't see his expression. Hisoka takes in Gon before those eyes gleam. Gon keeps his eyes up, still trying to get used to seeing their naked bodies more than he should be. Every time they change, Gon ends up getting an eyeful. He usually looks at Hisoka to keep his eyes away from the younger ones.

"That was Komugi. She lives next door. She came over when she heard you guys fighting. She thought I had another mental breakdown." Gon looks over at Killua who isn't looking at him. "I told you that I trashed the place after Mito's death...I just got so angry and upset. When I saw the mess, those feelings resurfaced. I am a bit upset with you two for messing up my home though. You too have been acting up all today. I don't think of you as being bad Killua. But your actions today were bad. You can't attack my friends and destroying my things isn't good either."

Gon turns his attention on Hisoka and glares. He perks up. "And you have been riling Killua up. You can't be touching me like that either." Gon flushes slightly but his glare doesn't fall. "I didn't have the strength to bother with it much, but I feel a lot better now."

"But Gon ,you were aroused-" Hisoka starts. Killua looks up, those blue eyes dark as he glares at Hisoka dangerously. Hisoka's eyes gleam and he smirks over at him.

"Gon..." Killua walks over to Gon, grabbing his wrist. Gon blinks, keeping his eyes up as Killua starts to pull him into the bedroom, his sister following after them quickly. Once they get into the bedroom, Alluka closes the door behind him.

Killua lets go of his wrist and walks a bit in front of him. His ears are back and his shoulders are tense. Gon stares at his bare back, hating how he feels warm from just his shoulders being exposed.

"Killua-"

"I'm sorry." Killua breathes out. "I've been agitated since Hisoka's actions this morning. He forced himself on you. I won't let that kind of thing happen to you Gon...because you..." Killua struggles with what he's trying to say. "I've just been angry today! And then those guys had to come and I know they're your friends but that guy was shaking you and I didn't like it! I didn't like how he was raising his voice at you and putting his hands on you. You don't deserve that. I wasn't going to let him treat you like that because of us. I had to attack him. I didn't like making you upset with me but I didn't like him more. Then you kept petting Hisoka and givng him attention, even after his actions towards you this morning and I...I really didn't like should hate him, yet you still showed him kindness. I should have known better. I let my feelings get out of hand but when I broke that glass, I hated you calling me bad. I watched over you when you went to bed and then Hisoka came in. He wanted to touch you while you were asleep and I couldn't allow that. I lost it and I attacked him. I'm sorry I messed up your home and made you upset. There was a part of me that believed that you liked Hisoka touching you, but you just said you were too weak to deal with him. When I think back to it. You looked so tired and you're kind. That's what you do. If someone wrongs you, you still treat them kindly. But when it comes to you, Gon I...I don't want you to think of me as bad-"

"I don't think of you as bad, Killua. Today has been a long day for us all. I understand you've been worried about me because of this illness and then Hisoka touching me. It's okay. I feel much better now. I don't like Hisoka touching me and I understand that you want to protect me. Leorio would never really hurt me so don't worry about that. I fixed most of the damage so...just try not to fight with Hisoka. I'm not angry Killua. You're still my best friend."

Killua's ears perk up and he turns around quickly, those blue eyes lighting up. "You're not angry with me?" Gon shakes his head. Killua stares at him for a moment before he gets this deep look in his eyes. "Mito might be gone Gon but..." Killua looks away from him. "...I promise you I won't leave you. I used to hate my age but...at least I know I can be with you to the very end."

Gon stares at him with wide eyes before he smiles. He chuckles and it's light, his chest warming up, the warmth spreading everywhere. "If you stayed with me my whole life Killua, that would make me really happy." Killua flushes, rubbing the back of his head.

"Then I'll stay with you." Gon swallows, this feeling overwhelming him. He runs over to Killua and pulls him into a hug. Killua tenses in his hold before he melts, purring softly. Those arms wrap around him slowly, returning the embrace.

"I love you, Killua." Gon says without any hesitation. Gon does love Killua. He cares about him deeply and the thought of having Killua with him for the rest of his life...It made him so happy. All the bad from today just melts away and All Gon is aware of is the other male in his arms, and his breathing that's picked up speed.

"...Love?" Killua tightens his grip around Gon, his purring getting louder. "That is...the ultimate form of affection to you humans right?"

"Yes. I really care about you Killua and since you've been in my life, I've been really happy. You're not bad, Killua. You're just destructive sometimes. Also, very jealous and a bit mischievous." Gon nuzzles his head against Killua's. Killua is kneading his fingers in Gon's back, a habit he does when he's really happy or comfortable. "But I wouldn't change anything about you."

"Not even my age?" Killua asks. Gon's fuzzy state is destroyed and Killua notices how he tenses up. That guilt comes back but at least he doesn't feel like he's about to puke. Here he is declaring his love for Killua and...did he completely forget about his issue? Gon wasn't even thinking about what saying I love you to Killua could mean. He's sure that he loves Killua that way. That's why Gon reacts to Killua so easily even though he feels awful about it. He was just so happy that he forgot he's suppose to be crushing these feelings, not admitting them.

"...I don't want to change your age Killua-"

"But you don't like my age, do you? You try to shut me out of your adult things." Killua tigthens his grip on Gon. "My age isn't a handicap. I'm very mature for my age."

"I know Killua. It's just some things are awkward to talk about in general. I don't mind your age, I still love you. Don't listen to what Hisoka was saying about age and friendship. You're still my best friend and I still love you." Killua relaxes in his hold. His purring gets louder and louder, his breathing being felt against Gon's ear. Killua's hands are traveling down his back, his tail brushing against his thigh. Killua feels warm to the touch... "Killua, you should get some clothes on-" Gon start to feel warm himself when he realizes how he's hugging a naked Killua. Gon's eyes widen when Killua tightens his grip on him, Gon feeling something hard against his thigh. Gon swallows, his stomach muscles contracting, his heart beating faster. "K-Killua let go-"

"I want to mate." Killua says firmly, his words tickling Gon's ear.

"W-What?" Gon squeaks, using his full strength to pull Killua off of him. He feels himself start to sweat when he sees the glazed over look Killua is giving him. Gon finally knows what 'bedroom' eyes look like. It's bad enough that Killua is naked but when he's giving him that lust filled expression, Gon can't help to react.

"I feel the same way." Killua's cheeks dust. "...I don't know what to do with all these feelings right now but I want to mate." Killua grabs a hold of Gon's shoulders so he can't move away from him. Gon feels like he's going to die when he feels Killua's 'excitement' poke him in the thigh again. How did it turn out this way?! Is this some sort of test?

"Killua, what are you saying? And y-you're sister is over there-" Gon turns his head only to blink when Alluka is nowhere to be seen. His eyes widen when Killua pushes Gon till his back touches the wall. Killua growls at him.

"Don't look for my sister when I'm here. I'm saying I want to mate." He growls, grabbing Gon's chin.

"Maybe this way you'll understand." Killua leans in, capturing Gon's lips. Gon's eyes widen as Killua sucks on his lips, biting his lower one lightly. His kiss is heated and it gets his point across loud and clear. Gon puts his hands on Killua's chest in an attempt to push him off but Killua's kiss is like sin. His lips move on their own, kissing Killua back, some saliva falling down the side of his cheek the kiss is so wet.

"Gon..." Killua pulls away, moaning his name as he rolls his hips against Gon's thigh. "I like how you taste." He leans in, licking up the side of his cheek.

"Killua we n-need to stop this." Gon finds his voice now that Killua isn't kissing him. His heart is beating so fast in his chest, his stomach is fluttering and his pants have gotten too tight.

"Why? You're hard. You want to mate too." Gon's breath hitches when Killua palms the bulge in his pants. "It can be painful, so I want you to take me." Killua's hot breath is against his ear. "Touch me too, Gon." Killua grabs his hand and starts to lower it, putting it on Killua's hot member. He twitches in his hand.

This is all going way too fast. This is wrong. This is really wrong! What happened to his restraint? What happened to getting rid of these feelings? Gon grinds his teeth before he pushes Killua away. "Killua, we have to stop this. I don't want to mate-"

"But you're aroused." Killua glances at the bulge in his pants before sniffing at him.

"I don't want to mate Killua. I told you that you don't have to do things like that for me. You're not in the lab anymore Killua-"

"I want to mate with you." Killua cuts him off, walking closer. When he pushes Gon against the wall again, those blue eyes getting darker, Gon swallows thickly. "I feel...these feelings and I want to mate with you-"

"Killua, I don't want to mate!" Gon shouts when Killua is about to kiss him again. Gon can't take much more of this. Killua hesitates. His ears go back and he pulls away. He stares at Gon for the longest moment...he looks like he's about to attack him. Killua bites his fist and looks away from Gon, his ears going back.

"...I won't force you into anything...I've read that mating for humans can be a sensitive thing. I'll wait till you're ready to mate." he's breathing heavily.

"Killua w-we shouldn't be mating at all." Gon forces out, his heart still hasn't slowed down.

"Why do you say that? You said you love me."

"I do love you-"

"Then why shouldn't we be mating? Is it because I'm a male?..." Killua's eyebrows furrow. "Or is it because of my age?" Killua glares slightly when Gon tenses up. "Gon-"

"Killua, you're young and those evil people at the lab have taught you bad things. You've offered your body to me before to repay me and to make me feel better. I told you not to do that, Killua. Just you being here is enough-"

"I'm not doing it to repay you or to make you feel better. I wanted to mate with you because I wanted to. I...I don't know how to explain myself well but...I think I too, have those feelings for you." Killua flushes, not looking at Gon. "This is different than before."

"...Killua you're just confused." Gon tries to reason with himself as well before this gets out of hand. "You've never had someone care about you like me, right? This is something new to you and I think you're mistaking your feelings. I know you care deeply about me, but-"

"I know my own feelings. Some of them are confusing, but I know that I want you as a mate. I'm not confused."

Gon looks way from him, blushing. What should he do? A part of him is ecstatic that Killua feels the same way as him but another part of him is still doubtful. Either way, this is still wrong. He can't forget that.

"Killua,we can't be mates-"

"Do you not return my feelings?" Killua's ears flatten, those blue eyes ger painful to look at.

"I do return them." Gon admits, looking away from Killua whose ears perk back up. "But we can't be mates. You're too young-"

"I'll grow." Killua says quickly. "I'll show you that I can care for you. I can't give you children but I can give you protection for the rest of your life. My age won't stay the same."

"Killua, don't you think it's okay to just go on as best friends? What's with all this mate talk-" Gon tries.

"Because I have urges Gon. I want you as my mate. It's against my instinct to ignore that. If you tell me no, I'll back down. I wouldn't force you into anything like those bastards. But if you love me, if you have these feelings, I don't want to be best friends. I want to be mates. I want to have you all to myself." Killua flushes after saying this. He crosses his arms and turns his back to Gon. "So...I'm not giving up if it's just my age that's keeping you from me."

"...but those scientists hurt you, Killua. I'm just worried-"

"You're not them Gon. I told you. You're more to me. There touch was disgusting and it hurt but when you touch me, it's warm- stop making me s-say embarrassing things! Get it through your thick head, I want you as a mate!" Killua raises his voice. He is quiet for a moment. "...so think about it. I'm not giving up through. I know what I want." Killua looks back at him and grins lightly. "And I'm going to get it."

Gon's heart skips a beat. He averts his gaze, rubbing his arm. He doesn't know how to feel right now. He's happy of course. But it's bittersweet. He can't believe that just happened.

"Killua, you should put some clothes on." Gon mumbles, walking over to his bed to lay down. He feels tired once again. That was exhausting.

"...okay." Killua gets dressed in some of his clothes before he crawls into bed with him. Gon closes his eyes when Killua lays his head on his chest, curling up towards him. Alluka comes out of the bathroom, this slight smile on her face as she jumps on the bed, cuddling up against Killua's back.

Gon tries to pretend like he's fallen asleep. Killua is rubbing his head against his chest, purring so much. Gon can't believe that exchange just happened. Gon admitted his feelings. Killua is saying he returns him. Killua says he wants Gon as a mate.

It's so wrong isn't it? If anyone could see this, they would say Gon is sick. But he feels so light right now. Gon was trying to get rid of these feelings but...if Killua returns them...why should he? If Killua really wants him, then why should he be ashamed?

Gon isn't going to rush this. No. Killua means too much to him. He doesn't want to hurt him.

Gon loves Killua. He's become his warmth during these cold times.

Killua's words linger in the back of his mind and he has to force himself to clear his mind. Killua can push him to his limits, that's for sure.

The longing for Killua has grown and Gon's not sure what he should do. His morals are saying he shouldn't get in any kind of relationship with Killua like that. His mind is telling him it's crazy and sick. but his heart...

That's a different story.

* * *

 **A fast chapter! Thanks to my beta reader Anathemal! Thank you for all the reviews. I love reading them. Till next time!**


	10. Chapter 10

Gon is breathing better now... Killua thinks to himself as he stares at his best friends face, his soon to be mate's expression. He smells of salt is what Killua concludes as he leans close, sniffing his skin. When he licks his cheek, he can tell he's still warm. Not as warm as he was yesterday. Sleep for Gon is helping him which is good. Killua knows Gon wouldn't stay home from school again. He's really crazy about that doctor stuff.

Killua glances at the time, seeing he still has an hour before Gon has to wake up. He should make use of this time. It's so warm next to Gon, and there's a pleasant humming in his brain from taking in Gon's scent. Killua's heart is beating faster and his face is flushed, his tail caressing Gon's hand. Killua doesn't want to move. Laying down with Gon like this has become one of his favorite things to do. Watching him sleep is never boring and when he's asleep, Gon can't turn his face away like he does sometimes.

Gon is a very attractive human. Killua can tell he was well taken care of as a child. His hair is strong and his eyes are always bright. Even when he's sleeping, Gon has this aura around him that is warm and filled with life. Killua's slanted eyes follow up the line of Gon's jaw, to his soft cheeks, and then to his nose that is wrinkled before it relaxes. His lips are parted, his eyebrows furrowed before they relax.

He really is nothing like the humans he's seen before. All the humans in the lab were old men mostly and none of them had a smile like Gon's. None of them had his body either. Gon is so soft but firm at the same time. He's muscular but not buff and his waist curves in nicely...He also has what those perverted old men would say 'the ass'. Killua knows if he reacts this way will Gon, so would all those other bastards-

But he doesn't want to think of them here. He left that life behind him and he's staying out. He's going to stay with Gon. That's going to be his new life. He's going to be there to experience everything with him. As his best friend and hopefully as his mate.

Killua got the freedom he wanted so desperately. Now there's something right within his grasp and he's not stopping till he gets it. Once he gets Gon, he'll never let go.

Killua's ears twitch when he hears Gon's stomach rumble, the man's eyebrows furrowing. He doesn't wake up though. Killua's eyes flash and he forces himself to get up slowly. He should make Gon some food. He rubs Alluka's hair gently, smiling over at her when he sees she's still asleep, curled up into a ball. Her ears twitch but she doesn't wake up when Killua crawls out of bed carefully.

Killua walks out of the room, closing the door behind him quietly before he yawns, stretching his arms above his head, his tail waving behind him and his ears twitching. He would like to just lay in bed all day with Gon but there's things he needs to do if he's ever going to get the older man as his mate. Gon also needs him right now. He's in a weakened state from his illness so Killua will be that extra support. Killua's ears flatten when he thinks of last night, and the beads of water that were falling down Gon's face. He never wants to see that expression on his face again. The guilt Killua felt and the panic was close to shutting him down.

Gon is so kind to him. Even when he's caused him so much trouble, he doesn't yell at him. He doesn't beat him or glare at him. He treats Killua with kindness and explains to him the pain he's been through and why those tears fell.

Gon really misses Mito, the person who raised him. Right now is a hard time for Gon, he must still be in mourning. With the stress of his mourning, school, work, and having three test subjects in his home...No wonder he would get sick. Gon is doing all he can for them, risking everything. He's taking care of them when Gon has his own problems.

He'll never understand Gon and maybe that's the beauty of it. Killua will never leave him now. He'll try to be more behaved and helpful. Gon needs his help. Killua is needed.

It's such a wonderful feeling. This feeling in his heart can't be explained by words.

"How is the little one?" Killua glares over at Hisoka who is laying on the couch, those yellow eyes watching him as he ignores his question and walks into the kitchen, his tail flicking. He opens the fridge and pulls out some eggs and milk. He'll make Gon some scrambled eggs and a bowel of cereal. Protein is good- "You made quite a mess last night." Hisoka sneers.

"Shut your fucking mouth." Killua's pupils get longer in warning as he looks back at Hisoka, a shadow falling over his expression. His eyes are filled with the intent to kill. "You've been provoking me and stepping over your boundaries. I lost my shit last night and I ended up making Gon cry. Our fighting has been stressing Gon out." Killua turns his head back so he can start working on the eggs, cracking them open into a bowel. "But i'm telling you now, if you touch Gon in his intimate parts ever again, you will lose your dick. I won't let you take him."

"So brutal." Hisoka chuckles, turning so he's laying on his back, looking up at the ceiling. "But I do not wish to make his eyes dull yet. The little one can't seem to handle it. So i'll be good Killua. I'll back off for a little bit." Hisoka licks his lips, those yellow eyes don't change but they get slightly darker.

"I find it hard to believe that." Killua narrows his eyes but he doesn't turn around as he pours all the eggs in the pan and starts to stir them around. His voice is calm, even. He won't let Hisoka get under his skin. "Wasn't that your source of entertainment? Pissing me off?"

"Yes. But I can find other ways to entertain myself." Hisoka rolls so he's on his stomach again, this smirk turning his face. "Did you get far with the little one last night? I could smell your arousal from the living room and Gons~ I didn't hear much of anything though-"

"Don't try to listen in on us you creep!" Killua tenses up,a soft blush on his cheeks. He grins back at Hisoka who's ears perk up. "Last night, Gon said he loves me! There's no reason for you to try anymore anyway. I've already gotten the highest form of affection from him. He loves me and he wants me to stay with him for the rest of his life." Killua's lips tingle from saying this, his heart beating faster. Being so happy is strange to the ex-experiment. In a way it makes him anxious, anxious that something will take this away from him but at this moment, Killua just feels warm. Gon doesn't want to stay with him for the rest of his life because Killua kills people, or because of his body. Gon wants Killua for who he is.

"My! Now isn't that something." Hisoka smiles, not seeming affected by it at all. Killua goes back to his cooking, scrambling up the eggs before putting them on a plate. "Gon said he loves you but you still haven't mated with him. I wonder why that is..." He hums. Killua's shoulders tense but he takes a deep breathe through his nose. He gets a bowel out and pours Gon's favorite cereal in it.

"Gon isn't ready for it. That's the reason why. So i'm waiting on him but he's pretty much my mate now even though I haven't' claimed him yet."

"Ohh I think he's ready." Hisoka chuckles getting Killua to glare over at him. "You smell that he's ready so why deny you? Are you sure it has nothing to do with your age-"

"Maybe it does." Killua hisses, an anger building in his chest. "But he still loves me! I'll get older. My age won't be a issue for long. I've looked it up. I will be considered an adult once i'm 18. That's only two years away-"

"Only two years? To Humans, that's a long time. Do you expect Gon to go without sex for two years while he waits for you to mature? I'm sure Gon does love you. He has such nice expressions when he's with you." Killua's ears twitch at Hisoka admitting that, those blue eyes staring at him intently. "Gon cares for you an awful lot. It's really cute. But I don't know if you've seen it Killua, but he also gets this sick look when you touch him too much."

"Sick look?" Killua's ears go back and he tries to think if he's remembered something like that. And he has. The slight averting of Gon's eyes, how he bites his lip and those amber orbs get duller. Killua's ears flatten before he glares at Hisoka but not as strong. Insecurity rearing it's ugly head. "I'm sure that had to do with when you would touch him, not me-"

"There are many different kinds of love for Humans Killua." Hisoka starts to wave his finger in the air, closing his eyes, his ears twitching when he hears Killua starting to pour some orange juice for Gon. "A human can love their child and love their mate but they are not the same. The human will not touch their child or mate with them. Unless they are ill. That is why, when you touch him Killua, it makes Gon ill." Hisoka's lips twist up. "He does not like it."

Killua's eyes widen, something clenching up inside of him and hurting. Gon...doesn't like it? When he touches him he gets ill? But Killua isn't his child. Killua isn't that much younger than him but...is this his fault? The illness Gon has? Last night Gon was flushed and his body was reacting to his touches. He became aroused but was that just because of the stimulation?

Everything slows down for Killua, his heart beating slowly in his chest. What is this feeling? It's painful, like someone gripping his heart in their hand.

"You are a replacement." Hisoka continues, his smirk widening when Killua's breathing becomes uneven. "For his fallen family member, for Mito-"

A replacement?...It makes sense doesn't it? Gon is mourning the loss of his family and then Killua comes along...Killua doesn't know what to do. His fingers are twitching, his pupils getting bigger. His instincts are screaming at him to just run into the other room and show Gon that he belongs to him- But another part of him is still.

He remembers the first day he stayed here. Gon was fussing over his wounds and he was talking to him as if he knew he understood what he was saying. He remembers how Gon said something about loving having someone to come home to again. He remembers thinking to himself, this is one sad, lonely human...

Gon told him that all he wanted was him to be his friend. It was obvious Gon wanted him around to fill the void. But he didn't consider if Gon would think of him as family. He didn't consider that he could have been a replacement for his fallen aunt.

Killua didn't consider that his touch would make Gon sick.

Killua swallows the lump in his throat as he grabs some milk and pours it in the cereal. He places the eggs in the bowel on a plate before he walks out of the kitchen and into the bedroom. Killua doesn't know why that bothers him so much. He should be happy that Gon loves him at all, that Gon cares for him so much and shows him kindness but...The idea of Gon thinking of him as family and becoming sick when Killua touches him, bothers him to no end.

Killua's eyes lock onto amber. Gon is sitting up in bed,rubbing at his eyes, just turning off his alarm that started to go off. Alluka mumbles something in her sleep, her ears twitching before she turns her on her stomach, curling up in the blanket again.

"mmm Good morning Killua." Gon smiles at him. "I feel a lot better today...oh did you make me breakfast?"

"...Yes." Killua walks over to Gon and places the plate in his lap. Gon smiles brightly at him, Killua's feels that yearning.

"Thank you Killua. IT smells good!" He shoves some eggs into his mouth. "I'm starting to get my appetite back so that's a good sign!"

"Yeah..." Killua licks his lips nervously, his tail waving behind him. Killua watches him eat, questions on the tip of his tongue. He should just ask Gon. He should just ask him if he thinks of him as family. He should just ask if his touches make him sick. But when he opens his mouth, no words can come out. He's too much of a coward. He's too afraid of what Gon would say.

"Is something wrong Killua?" Gon tops eating, looking over at the boy who was just standing off to the side stiffly. Killua tenses, those blue eyes averting.

"Nah." He waves Gon off, giving him a smile that feels plastered on his face. "I'm just staying at a distance. You really stink." That's not a lie. After sweating a lot, his pleasant scent has become unpleasant. But that doesn't bother Killua enough to keep him away from Gon. It's this feeling he has now, this uncertainty.

"Oh really?" Gon's eyebrows furrow and he sniffs under his arm pit, his face wrinkling up. "Yuck! I really do stink. Being sick is no fun. I even sweated into my sheets." Gon looks down at his sheets before looking over at Alluka who is still sleeping. He smiles. "At least my smell hasn't disturbed Alluka." He giggles, Killua's ears twitching at such a lovely sound.

"I don't know how she isn't." Killua grunts, crossing his arms.

"Eh don't worry. I'll smell better once I take a shower." Gon finishes the food Killua made for him quickly, closing his eyes for a moment to let it set in.

"...When I touched you this morning, you still felt pretty warm." Killua watches Gon's expression contently.

"I'm still warm but i'm okay Killua. I'm fine to go to school." Gon is quiet for a moment. "...Tomorrow is the final so I need to study really hard today so..." Gon stops talking as he gets off the bed. He winces slightly from putting weight on his leg but other than that he seems to be stable on his feet. "I'm going to have Komugi watch you guys while I study with Leorio."

"What?" Killua's ears flatten, following Gon as he walks into the bathroom. "Why do you have to study with Leorio? Why can't you study here-"

"Because it's too much here Killua. I won't be able to study here and actually retain anything. Yesterday was a lot of stress too...I think I just need a little time out of the house to focus on school. I won't be gone for a long time." Gon smiles back at Killua, trying to reassure him.

"How long will you be gone?" Killua feels something twist in his stomach.

" A couple of hours." Gon gets into the shower with his clothes on. Killua raises his eyebrow only to blink when Gon takes off his clothes and throws them out of the curtain. He's never done that before. Why didn't he get undressed in front of him? Killua feels offended. He thought they were closer than that. Killua's tail flicks in irritation. He doesn't like the idea that Gon is going to be gone longer than he normally would.

"You're still sick. You shouldn't be out." Killua tries to reason, walking closer to the shower, listening to the water hit Gon's body.

"I'm better Killua it will be fine. I need to study for this final. I need to pass it." Gon has that tone to his voice. The one Killua knows his eyes are shinning brightly with that determined fire.

Killua wants to kill all those humans that are in charge of making humans doctors and then appoint Gon as a doctor himself. All these years of school and stress seem ridiculous to him.

"Don't be out too long." Killua stands right outside of the shower, his ears twitching on his head, listening to Gon hum to himself like he does.

"I won't. You don't have to worry Killua. Try not to fight with Hisoka too much today and be careful when you go out to hunt."

Killua nods even though he knows Gon can't see him do that. He just stands there, listening to his humming and the water. He chews on his lip, words welling up in his chest but he can't get them out, can't even cough them forth. It's a strange feeling and he doesn't like it.

Back at the lab, if Killua wanted something he would take it by force. That Is what he was taught. Nothing in this life is free and everyone wants something from you. Killua could take Gon if he wanted to. That idea was planted by Hisoka and it's lingered since. It's what his instinct is telling him to do. But this other part is stumped. Killua wants Gon to want him.

"Killua could you hand me a towel?" Killua's ears perk up at Gon speaking to him as the water turns off. He grabs a towel and holds it out, watching as Gon's tanned hand reaches out to take it from him. A few moments later Gon is coming out of the shower, the towel around his waist, his black hair flat on his head.

"Thanks Killua." Gon beams at him.

Killua finds himself flushing. Killua likes when Gon's hair is wet. It's cute. He finds himself watching as Gon walks past him, watching the muscles in his back shift. His pupils get bigger when he sees a bead of water fall from his shoulder all the way down his spine. He just wants to lick him. Killua wets his lips with his tongue, keeping close to Gon as he walks to his dresser and starts pulling out clothes for him to wear.

He reaches out towards him, wanting to touch him but he gets that strange feeling and puts his arm back down.

"How did you sleep last night?" Gon asks as he puts on a green shirt. He drops his pants and it's like Killua immediately looks down, enjoying the view of those two round tan globes before Gon is pulling up some boxers quickly. Killua's tail flicks and he licks his lips. He's starting to feel warm again. He wants to get closer.

"I slept pretty good." What is this feeling? He's sure this feeling wasn't between them before. The air seems thick. Killua feels...nervous? It's hard to place this emotion. "Once you do this final, that's it right?"

"Yup! I get a mini break!" Gon turns towards him and smiles. Killua's ears twitch, those blue eyes lighting up, taking in that smile and those amber eyes looking at him. Gon averts his gaze too quickly for his liking. "Christmas is so close! During my break I need to do more Christmas stuff with you guys! We could make ginger bread houses or something. I'm sure you would like that since you like sweets so much." Gon chuckles, pulling up some jeans that fit him nicely. Killua likes how tight they are on him, the fabric shows every little curve...

"Killua you okay?" Killua's ears twitch and his eyes snap up to see Gon tilting his head at him, those amber eyes studying him. "You've been spacing out this morning. Are you still tired?"

"I guess a little bit." Killua lies, a soft flush spreading on his cheeks. He opens his mouth to tell Gon he should change his pants only for his words to stop when Gon walks up and pats him on the head. Killua's eyes light up from the attention, a little embarrassed when he starts purring right away. Killua closes his eyes, loving when Gon scratches behind his ear.

"Make sure to sleep then! Alluka has the right idea." Gon giggles over at Alluka who is purring in her sleep. Killua feels disappointed when Gon moves his hand out of his hair and walks past him.

"Yeah she's knocked out. I think i've been stressing her out too with me and Hisoka's fighting." Killua mumbles as he follows after Gon. Killua narrows his eyes at Hisoka when Gon sits down next to him to get his shoes on. To his surprise, Hisoka stays on his side of the couch, his ears twitching as he watches Gon. "But Hisoka said he'll stop touching you. I doubt that. Either way i'm going to make sure what happened last night doesn't happen again. So don't worry Gon."

"Good. It would make things a lot easier if everyone got along. This is a small apartment. It's hard enough with four people in it but when you guys fight it just makes it harder for everyone." Gon ties his shoes before he stands up. Killua runs over to the closet to grab Gon's book bag. He hands it to him. Gon smiles and pats him on the head again, Killua's chest feeling light once more.

"I know but he provokes me. He does it on purpose. I told you all he wants to do is cause trouble." Killua grumbles, his tail flicking as he glares over at Hisoka who smiles.

"I'll behave Gon." Hisoka smacks his lips. "Where are you going?"

"I have school and then I'm gong to be studying. I already told Killua but Komugi will be coming over to watch you guys. Be nice to her. NO scratching." Gon looks between Killua and Hisoka. Killua crosses his arms and glares away. Hisoka smirks, his tail moving around before he nods his head.

"I'll be nice~"

"Whatever. Just don't take too long." Killua's ears go back when Gon gets on his jacket, knowing he's about to leave. Gon hasn't coughed at all and he looks alright so that's a good sign but still. Killua knows he's not feeling his best. He's starting to feel anxious again.

"Tell Alluka that I left when she wakes up and that I'll be back later." Gon walks towards the door but when he puts weight on his leg he winces suddenly and stumbles. Killua is quick to support him, making sure he doesn't fall, Gon's face landing in his chest. Gon glances up at him, his face is so close to his. Blue eyes bore into Amber. Killua's heart is hammering in his chest and all he wants to do is kiss him. Killua leans closer but Gon turns his head. Killua feels that pain in his stomach as Gon pulls away from him, giving him this strange smile.

"T-Thanks Killua. I don't know what that was about. This leg is taking awhile to heal."

"Don't go stumbling around. If you can't walk good in here, you'll fall on the ice out there for sure." Killua wants to tell him to stay home but Gon is already unlocking the door, like he's in a rush to get out. "Oi! Say goodbye to me properly." Killua fights back this ugly feeling in his chest, trying to keep his voice normal.

"O-Oh." Gon smiles at him sheepishly before he reaches out, running his hands through his hair. Killua leans into the touch but as soon as his hand was there, it's gone. "Bye Killua. Bye Hisoka." Gon turns on his heel and opens the door.

"Wait what about my-" Gon walks out into the cold and shuts the door, leaving Killua standing there. "...Good bye kiss?" He finishes lamely. His ears go back and he just stares at the door that Gon went through. He's starting to resent this door.

He loves it because it's the door Gon comes back to him but it's the door that he also leaves him as well. It's another barrier. Once Gon leaves his apartment, Killua can no longer follow him even though he wants to.

Killua's stomach twists and he feels cold. Gon always gives him a goodbye kiss. He always shows him affection by kissing him. He's never been in such a rush before... Killua glances at the clock. ...and he's not running late. Killua's blue eyes get deep, glaring at the door in front of him. Really...what is this horrible feeling?

Killua's ears twitch on top of his head and he glances back at Hisoka who is staring forward. He thought he would have something to say about that but he doesn't. He's covering his mouth, Killua is sure he's smiling behind It. Killua hisses at him, marching into the bedroom and shutting the door. He crawls into bed with his sister and wraps his arms around her, burying his head in her hair.

Her eyes open slightly before she curls into him and lets out a happy sigh. Killua touches her hair absentmindedly, trying to get rid of this horrid feeling.

Can Gon really think of him like Killua thinks of Alluka? If Alluka tried to touch him like a mate, it would bother him but make him sick?...Maybe. Does Gon really see him as family? Why couldn't' he have just asked him those questions? Now Hisoka's words are stuck in his head and all he has is the silence to think about everything.

Killua always over thinks things and it doesn't help that he already misses Gon's warmth and those amber orbs.

All these new feelings are swirling inside of Killua and he doesn't understand how to deal with them or what he should do. Killua tightens his grip on his sister. He wasn't taught how to get a human to love you. He wasn't taught what you should do when you show affection. He wasn't taught any of those things and even when he looks it up it's not helping.

Killua really wants Gon.

* * *

"Thank you again Komugi." Gon smiles, rubbing at his left eye as he speaks into his cell phone. "I really appreciate you watching them for me."

"No p-problem. It's my pleasure." Komugi chuckles. "S-Study as long as you need to. I'll give you your k-key back when you come."

"Thanks. I'll see you later."

"B-Bye Gon." Gon hangs up the phone and puts it back into his pocket just as Leorio comes into the room, sitting down next to him, handing him a glass of soda.

"Seriously Gon? You have to have a sitter for those three for just an hour?" Leorio grumbles. "You treat them like they're your kids. I never took you to be such a cat person."

"Me either. I'm finding new things about myself everyday." Gon rubs the back of his head, averting his gaze when Leorio keeps looking over at him. They're both sitting at Leorio's kitchen table. After school they had come straight here to start studying. Books cover the table and Gon can feel the headache already starting.

"So...Did you take care of your urges?" Leorio takes a sip of his soda when Gon looks over at him with a blush on his face.

"I-I haven't been able to-"

"What you mean you haven't been able to? Find some time during the night!-"

"I can't do it Leorio!" Gon shouts in his frustration, getting Leorio's eyes to widen. "It's...it's too hard with the cats. They follow me everywhere and it would be too awkward to do it in front of them. I just don't know what to do." Gon holds his head in his hands. He really doesn't. After last night, everything has gotten worse. Now that he knows Killua looks at him like a mate, his urges have increased and he just wants to kiss Killua like they were last night. He wants Killua to touch him and he wants to be shoved against the wall with Killua pinning him-

Gon closes his eyes. See? So much worse. He could barely look at Killua this morning without having some sick thought. He knows he needs to do something but he's stuck!

"You could just throw the cats out, or better yet just get rid of all those damn cats! Especially Killua that one is an ass hole." Leorio grumbles. His eyebrows furrow when Gon shakes his head.

"I can't get rid of them and they get upset if I move them out of the room." Gon rubs his arm thinking about Killua, and how he freaks out if he can't be in the same room as him or if the door is closed.

"So? Just move them out! You need to take care of your urges!" Leorio sighs when he sees Gon shake his head stubbornly. "You're so strange. Really." He looks down at his book. His eyebrow twitches before he sighs. "You know Kurapika isn't here..."

"Yeah. You said he's working." Gon raises his eyebrow at Leorio, not getting the change in conversation.

"Well...I don't mind if you shut yourself off in our bathroom and you know." Leorio lifts his eyebrows twice. Gon gives him this confused look.

"I don't have to go to the bathroom Leorio-"

"Damn it Gon! What were we just talking about?" Leorio flushes. Gon stares at him for the longest time. What were they just talking about...oh...oh! Gon's eyes light up in realization, his face getting red.

"Oh... I see. I don't have the things you gave me though." Gon averts his gaze, kicking his feet, his heart beating faster.

"I have some lube you can borrow but I can't give you any of the toys. They've all been used." Leorio coughs when Gon wrinkles his nose. "So..uh yeah. You can go and...'use the bathroom.'"

"Um..I guess I can try." Gon stands up. This is going to be awkward but he really needs this. Especially now. He might not get another opportunity like this again. There's no way he can masturbate in his home with all those people. Killua always follows him around and he can not masturbate with Killua in the room.

"Yeah." Leorio stands up and walks into his bedroom. He comes out with a bottle of lube and hands it to Gon. Gon frowns when the bottle is sticky. "I'll start making our study guide. So...uh...take your time?"

"Okay." Gon walks into their bathroom quickly and shuts the door. He locks it and sighs in relief. It's been so long since he's been able to be in a bathroom by himself. Seriously. Gon washes the bottle off, getting rid of that sticky feeling before washing his hands. Gon can't believe he's about to do this but Leorio offered and...he's getting desperate.

Now how should he do this? He's never masturbated in a bathroom before. Should he sit on the toilet? Or in the bathtub? Does it even matter? Gon takes a deep breath, pulling down his pants and boxers. He takes off his shirt, grabbing the lube before sitting in the tub. He pulls the curtain. He sits there for the longest time, his heart hammering in his chest. Okay...there's nothing to worry about here so...away he goes. Gon lays his back against the wall, putting his hand on his bare thigh. He swallows, moving his hand down, touching his soft member lightly.

He's not turned on. This is very uncomfortable. He doesn't like the tub idea much.

Gon takes a deep breath. He's so tense. He can feel it. It's not like he hasn't masturbated before so why does this feel so...forced? What should he think about? The first image that comes to mind is Killua in those boxers, showing off his smooth things...

There's a twitch of life down there and Gon blushes. He shakes his head, trying to stop that thought before it grows. He slaps his hot cheeks. What's the point in doing this if he's going to think of Killua? Won't that make it worse?...or maybe it would help control his urges on the real Killua? But the idea of masturbating to Killua makes his stomach twist in both want and disgust. Even if Killua thinks of him like a mate, is it okay? Killua is so young and how does Gon know he really means what he's saying?

Thinking about that gets Gon thinking about last night. He remembers how Killua just showed him against the wall, kissing him deeply. He remembers how big Killua had felt against his thigh and how his hand felt rubbing at Gon's bulge. Killua's voice had gotten so low and he was looking him over like he was hungry and...oh. Gon glances down when he feels his heat pool and sure enough, he's completely hard.

And it's because of Killua.

Gon swallows down his feeling of guilt. This what he came in to do. He needs to...get rid of these urges so he's not hurting Killua. He needs to keep this side away from him. Gon takes a deep breath as he squirts some lube into his hand, warming it between his palms before slicking up his shaft. Gon's breathing becomes uneven from just touching it, feeling the pleasure of carnal sin. Gon's eyes eyes slip shut and as he strokes himself, he tries to keep his mind blank...

But soon that changes.

He thinks about Killua jerking him off like this, looking at him with those strange blue eyes that always watch him. He thinks of those smaller fingers working him, picturing Killua's smirk when Gon lets out a breathy moan. Gon can't stop now. He strokes himself roughly, imagining it was Killua the whole time. His body gets so warm, his breathing coming out in puffs and moans.

" _I want to mate."_ Killua's dark voice resurfaces, Gon arches back, spreading his legs slightly. Gon covers his eyes with his hand, whimpers escaping his lips with his groans of pleasure, not able to stop his train of thought or the pooling feeling in his stomach. Images come that he had tired to suppress like Killua's naked body. He can remember everything about it. To his muscular chest down to the dip of his waist, the V line of his hips and that well hung cock. How could he forget those silky thighs and his smooth, cute ass.

Gon's eyebrows furrow, whatever was holding him back before is forgotten, it feels too good. He thinks about Killua licking up his neck, he thinks of those sharp canines biting into his shoulder, he thinks about how Killua's face gets flushed and how it's so cute...Gon feels like he's getting closer, the pressure building up and he's starting to sweat. He thinks about those razor like nails and Killua trailing them down his body so lightly...He thinks of that mouth and all the things he could do to it. Images of Killua with Gon's cock in his mouth surface and he groans loudly.

The pressure keeps building and building...Gon cries out when he finally cums, finishing at the thought of thrusting into Killua's cute little ass, having him moan for him, and flush. He cums hard, his seed getting on the wall of the tub as Gon keeps stroking himself, riding out his orgasm.

Gon breathes heavily, his chest heaving, with his hand still covering his eyes. There's a pleasant hum in his brain that soon leaves him as the effects of his arousal were off. Everything comes back to him and all those thoughts that had pushed him to completion...now hang in the air, heavy like a victim on a noose. An like a noose around the neck, Gon feels like he can't breathe. He's committed a crime. Those thoughts...oh god what was he thinking?! How could this be any better? Did he really think about having sex with Killua like that? Gon took all those innocent moments and warped them into something perverted and dirty.

Gon moves his hand away from his eyes, trapped water escaping and falling down his cheek. He sits up, feeling numb as he leans against the tub, letting the blood go to his brain. His shoulder shake. He said he loves Killua didn't he? So why...can't he stop this? Why did he think about doing all those dirty things to Killua? Those thoughts never once crossed his mind before. Gon felt warm around Killua and his touches had gotten him hard but he never thought about having sex with Killua or...or all those other things.

If Gon knew that would have happened, he would have never have done this. This hasn't made him feel better. He feels worse. Gon turns on the shower and lets the water wash away the evidence but the sin still is fresh in his mind. He turns the water hot, and it burns him. The pain is welcomed. He ends up puking in the tub, his own bile touching his leg before getting sucked up in the drain. Gon hugs his knees to his chest and just stays there for awhile.

Gon cares about Killua doesn't he? Then how could he sit there and pleasure himself to the thought of doing those things with such a young boy? Wasn't he suppose be forgetting about all these feelings? They're worse than he thought. Way worse.

 _I'm sorry Killua...you thought I was better than those men..._

Gon bites his lip, bowing his head, letting the water soak him completely.

 _But i'm just like them._

* * *

Killua glares at this woman from the corner, his eyes narrowed at her. He sits with his tail flicking behind him, in his cat form. Alluka is currently being petted by Komugi, his sister is purring. She's taken a liking to her. Killua could careless. He just wants Gon to come home. It's been more than a couple of hours. He's getting restless.

It doesn't help that he wasn't able to make Gon food for dinner or do much else around the house. It's been boring. This human hasn't turned on the TV, she's just been playing with Alluka and Hisoka the whole time. That's all good and dandy but Killua doesn't want to play with her.

Killua's ears perk up and he glances at the door, his pupils getting bigger when the door unlocks and opens. Even as a cat, his heart does that strange flip when he sees Gon walk into the room and close the door behind him. The happiness and relief Killua feels is put out when he sees how tired Gon looks.

Killua rushes over to him and starts to rub himself against Gon's legs, wanting to mark him and to also give him some form of comfort. Studying must have been hard for him or maybe something else happened?

Gon glances down at Killua before looking at Komugi, rubbing his arm. "T-Thanks for watching them for me Komugi. I'll pay you once I get my pay check."

"Nonsense!" Komugi shakes her head, a big smile on her face. Gon blinks from seeing how happy she looks. "I really like watching your cats. They're so nice. They were all angels."

"I'm glad to hear it. I'll be sure to reward them for their good behavior." Gon smiles at Komugi as she says her goodbyes to Alluka, rubbing her head before standing up. "I still need to pay you though-"

"N-Nope." She smiles. "Call me anytime to watch them!" She starts to hand back the key. Gon looks at it before he pushes it back towards her.

"Keep it. It's another spare I have. That way if there's an emergency, you can just go into my home to watch them."

"Okay." She smiles. "I better get back. Though they probably won't notice I'm gone anyway." Gon opens the door for her, watching as she walks out.

"Be careful Komugi." Gon watches till she gets inside her home before he closes and locks the door. "Good job you guys. She looked really happy. I'll have to get you guys a treat when I go to the store." Gon turns around, flashing them a smile.

"Ohh I want strawberries!" Alluka turns into a human first, jumping on the couch, her ears twitching in her excitement.

"I like strawberries." Hisoka purrs as he turns back, stretching his body out.

"...Get me chocolate." Killua turns back into his human form. He notices how Gon looks away from him abruptly. Killua's ears go back, a frown turning his lips.

"Strawberries and chocolate it is! Lets all get dressed." Gon claps his hands. All the cat like humans quickly go to find their clothes and put them back on. Gon sighs in relief and he smiles tiredly at everyone. " Did you have fun with Komugi?"

"Yeah! I really like her!" Alluka's blue eyes are shinning. Her ears flatten slightly. "Is something wrong with her eyes? I noticed they look...kind of strange."

"Komugi is blind. She can't see."

"What? She can't see anything? Oh..." Alluka's ears flatten.

"Can't see anything?" Killua considers this. So that human is defected? And Gon is still her friend? He is so kind to everyone. At the lab, defection means death. Killua looks at Gon and notices he's not looking at him. At all. Killua's tail moves around. "How was studying? You look tired." Killua catches the tensing of Gon's shoulders and the way those amber eyes get this strange look.

"It was okay. I got a good amount of studying done." Gon rubs the back of his head. "I'm still worried about the final tomorrow that's for sure."

"You can do it Gon!" Alluka cheers.

"Yeah. You're always studying. You'll pass and then we can get ice cream again." Killua tries to get himself hyped up. It pays off when he gets a smile from Gon and it's directed towards him.

"Thanks guys. I'll try my best. I can't fail." He grips his fist, those amber eyes burn with that fire but...Killua can tell. It's not as bright.

"...What do you want me to make you to eat? You should take a bath or something to relax-"

"I'm not hungry. It's okay. I ate at Leorio's." Gon rubs his arms. Hisoka raises his eyebrow in interest, watching from the couch. Just as he said, he's been keeping his distance but those yellow eyes are always watching. Killua can smell the sweat on Gon. "I think I'm just going to head to bed. I still don't' feel too good."

"Then you should lay down." Killua starts following after Gon into the bedroom. "I'll play with your hair to help you to sleep." Killua knows how Gon likes that-

"No." Gon says quickly, getting Killua's ears to go back in alarm. That feeling twists his stomach again and he doesn't know what to do. Gon has never turned down his hair being rubbed. Gon has been resistive to his touch all day...He barely showed him any affection. "N-No thank you Killua." Gon corrects himself but he doesn't turn back to look at him as he crawls into bed, pulling the covers up and over his head.

Killua just stares at the lump in the bed, his ears flattened. That strange tension in the air has grown and Killua doesn't like it. Why didn't Gon take off his clothes? He usually does that before getting into bed...and why is he hiding under the covers?

"Gon...what's wrong?" Killua asks quietly.

"Nothing is wrong." Gon says after awhile, the lump shifting. "I'm just...really tired."

"...You've..." Killua wants to question him. If he asks him why he's been weird about his touch today, then he'll know his answer. He'll know if his touches make him sick. But Killua is too...scared. It terrifies him. He doesn't know what he would do if Gon told him that he sickens him.

Instead of speaking, Killua crawls into the bed, he can feel the lump stiffen. Killua pauses before he gets under the covers. Gon has turned so his back is towards Killua. The air under the blanket is hard to breath in but it's okay. It's filled with Gon's scent. "You've been a jerk today." Killua tries to play it off. "Barely showed me any affection even though I made you breakfast."

Killua wanted Gon to respond by chuckling or maybe even turning around to give him the affection he's been missing today. His response is what he didn't want the most.

Gon stiffens up. "I'm sorry."

The air is even worse now. Killua's ears flatten. "I mean...I'm not really angry about it or anything. You don't have to get all tense about it." Gon doesn't respond to him. Killua knows he wants to sleep but...something is wrong about this air and this feeling. It's hurting him. "You could rub my hair or something." Killua offers, touching Gon's back-

Gon tenses up so bad that Killua quickly removes his hand, his ears going back. "Killua I'm trying to go to sleep."

Killua feels something in him sink and he swallows thickly. "O-Oh." Killua wants to respond with anger but that's not what' he's feeling right now. Gon has never brushed him off like that. What happened? Why is Gon being like this?...Killua bites his lip. Is it because he expressed his want of having Gon as a mate?

Killua's lips tremble. He doesn't like Gon having his back to him. Even though he's right next to him, he feels so far away.

Killua's ears perk up when Gon sighs. "I didn't mean to sound like that I just...Killua if you want me to rub your head, could you turn into a cat? If you do, i'll show you all the affection you want."

Killua's heart lifts back up, those blue eyes lighting up. He raises his eyebrow despite his happiness. "Why do I need to be in my cat form?"

"It's easier to pet you and you can lay on my chest if you want."

"...Alright." Killua wouldn't refuse. Not Now. He yearns for Gon's nice touches. It doesn't matter what form he's in. Killua closes his eyes, ignoring the stinging pain he feels as he turns into a cat from being a boy. He meows, pawing at Gon's back. The older man turns so he's laying on his back. Letting Killua climb on his chest. Killua gets himself comfortable, sticking his claws in Gon's shirt before he curls up, on his chest. He purrs when Gon starts to rub his head, and he leans into his hand, yearning for this touch all day.

"I know I've been a jerk...today has just been..." Gon trails off as he scratches behind Killua's ear. "I want to do my best and take care of you. I want to make you happy but I...I'm not doing a good job." Killua opens his eyes, giving Gon a questioning look. What is he talking about? He is happy. He is doing a good job taking care of him.

"Meow." Killua wants to go back to his human form so he can communicate with him. He's about to do just that when Gon pushes his head into his chest, rubbing behind his ear.

"I'll try harder Killua." Gon smiles at him before closing his eyes. Killua nips at his shirt, trying to get him to let him go. He doesn't understand where this is coming from. Gon has done everything for him. What is he talking about he needs to try harder? Is it because Killua complained that he didn't give him enough affection?...He didn't want Gon to feel bad. He just wanted more affection and for this strange feeling to disappear.

Killua wiggles out of Gon's hands so he can rub his head against Gon's cheeks before licking him. Gon smiles and it warms Killua's heart. He wants to hold Gon. He can only hold him in his human form- Gon presses him down on his chest once again, rubbing behind his ears nicely. Killua purrs, liking this treatment but he really wants to touch Gon.

Alluka walks into the room, and jumps into the bed. The covers are still over them but soon Alluka gets under the covers and smiles. She has some of her coloring books, and she starts coloring, turning on her stomach to get more comfortable.

Soon enough, Gon is asleep, his hand left on Killua's back. It's heavy with his sleep. Killua watches him like he always does but this doesn't seem right. He doesn't want to be in this form. He wants to feel Gon with his fingers tips and kiss him with his lips. He can only do that as a human.

Killua would have never thought he'd see the day where he wanted to be human. All his life he despise those scientists for turning him into this. He hated them for making him half human but now...now that he's met Gon, he's almost grateful. If he was just a regular cat, he would never be able to kiss Gon or talk with him or laugh about funny things or hold him. He cursed the human race up and down in the lab and he hated looking in the mirror and seeing himself looking like one of them but now...He longs to turn into that form?

He finds that he doesn't despise his human form anymore. It's his connection to Gon. He even finds himself...wanting to be more human. Or to at least know more about humans. He's been doing research. He did even more today.

Gon has changed his outlook on everything. He's opened his eyes and mind. Even with all the pain those bastards caused him in the lab, even with all his years of cursing the human race...that's all gone with Gon. It melts away and all that's left is his warmth and this yearning feeling.

Once Gon is good and asleep, Killua wiggles his way out of Gon's hand. When he doesn't wake up, Killua turns back to his human form. He sighs in relief at feeling Gon's chest on his and he curls up on his body, tangling up their legs. Gon's arm moves and wraps around him, much like he's hugging a teddy bear.

Killua flushes, purring happily being held by Gon as he lays his head next to the older man's. This is nice. Much better. Killua can't stop himself from taking in Gon's scent, nor can he stop himself from watching as this man breathes.

Having Gon's arms around his waist, having their chest pressed together...It's a lot better than being a cat laying on a human's chest.

* * *

So soft...Gon smiles to himself, nuzzling his pillow or whatever it is that's so soft on him right now. He doesn't' feel like opening his eyes yet. He had this awesome dream about him working at a hospital and he came up with the cure for cancer and a lot of lives where saved. He also had a dream that he turned into a cheeseburger and Leorio tried to eat him...Even if those dreams probably couldn't happen, Gon loves having dreams. When he dreams, it makes it harder for him to get out of bed. They're like mini free stories in his head.

Gon strokes up and down this nice feeling thing on top of him. Smooth and soft. Firm too. The texture is a little bumpy at some points but Gon doesn't mind. He feels over the rough spots, wondering what that could be. Gon's eyebrows furrow when the pillow starts to vibrate, a deep rumbling sound coming from it. Okay well that's...Gon freezes when the pillow moves and soon he realizes in his hazy mind that this is no pillow.

"Gon..." Killua purrs, kissing him on his cheek and in the corner of his mouth. Soon those soft lips are on his own. Gon feels his heart hammer and he takes a sharp take of breath, his amber eyes snapping opening, completely waking up. Killua pulls away from the kiss, those blue eyes soft, his white locks in his face and tickling Gon's neck and cheek. Gon's hand is on his lower back, dangerously close to his bottom. He was stroking Killua's back and those rough parts had to be his scars. When Killua leans in again, his tail waving around, Gon feels a panic grip him.

"Ah!" Gon yelps, pushing Killua off him as much as he can. The shout Gon lets out must startle Killua because his ears go back and he gasps, jumping off of Gon, and pressing himself against the wall. Gon breathes heavily, they both do, staring at each other with wide eyes.

"W-What? Why did you scream?" Killua's ears twitch as he looks around. It seems he was half awake as well.

"I...You..." Gon is too warm. The tightening of his pants is just a reminder. "You scared me. I wasn't expecting you to be on top of me. I thought you were a pillow."

"I usually sleep on you." Killua grumbles, rubbing at the ears on the top of his head. "Don't just yell when I'm all comfortable idiot."

"Hehe sorry." Gon rubs the back of his head, sitting up. Killua stares at him for a moment, Gon making sure to keep his eyes on his face before he crawls back on the bed. Gon gets off the bed quickly. "W-Well i'm going to get ready for school-"

"You have an hour before you need to get ready." Killua points out, jumping in the space where Gon use to be. Do doubt he was going to pounce back on him.

"I was going to head to school early to study some more right before the test. Get dressed Killua." Gon walks over to the bathroom, not looking at that tempting body. Killua follows him with his eyes before he gets up and walks off to get dressed. Once he's dressed, he's right in the bathroom with him. Gon didn't expect any less.

"Ugh Really? But you studied so much last night!" Killua grumbles closing the door behind him. Gon gets into the shower once again and pulls the curtains to get undressed. "Why can't you just relax for a bit?"

"I'll relax once I get home. Don't worry Killua, we'll do fun things together." Gon throws his clothes out and turns on the water. He knows Killua is probably missing him. He's been awhile a lot these past couple of days.

"...Do you feel better than you did yesterday?" Killua asks after awhile.

"Yeah a little bit. This final is just stressing me out." Gon closes his eyes, trying not to remember yesterday in the tub.

"I can tell. You've been acting funny. You're jumpy. I've never heard you shout like that when seeing me."

"I was just confused is all." Gon cleans himself up. He holds out his hand for a towel that Killua gives him. He drys himself off and walks out. He walks to the sink and starts to brush his teeth, Killua walking next to him to do the same thing. "That reminds me,I have to get Hisoka and Alluka tooth brushes!"

"I've been sharing mine with my sister. I don't really think Hisoka needs one." Killua grunts following after Gon once he walks out.

"Brushing your teeth is important. It can lead to infections so I'll have to get him one. It wouldn't be fair to him." Gon starts getting out his clothes.

"A lot of things aren't fair." Killua's tone of voice gets Gon to look back at him. Those blue eyes are darker and his body is slightly tense. "So what if he gets an infection? I don't even know if that's possible. We've been tested for that. Honestly I think we should starve Hisoka out."

"Starve him out? I can't do that Killua. Besides if he goes back to the lab, i'm sure he'll tell them about where you guys are at." Gon shakes his head getting on some new clothes. "A tooth brush isn't too much Killua and since you've been hunting, you've really cut back on the cost to have you guys."

Gon walks past Killua, those blue eyes are watching him intently, his ears back. Gon takes a deep breath before he walks out of the bedroom.

"Big brother?" Alluka starts to wake up, Gon can hear her soft voice. Killua says something to her but Gon can't hear. He's already in the kitchen making himself some cereal to eat.

"You're up earlier than normal." Gon glances over at Hisoka who was watching something on TV. Those ears twitch and he pouts at him. "Don't tell me you're leaving once again."

"I am. I have to study for the final. I'll be back later." Gon sits down at the table with his cereal, feeling a headache come on when Killua glares at Hisoka. He just needs to pass this final. That's all he's asking. Get the final out of the way so all he has to worry about is...this huge problem he has. Gon has been trying to keep his mind off of it but the guilt is there, weighing him down every time he looks at Killua's big blue eyes and that face of youth that he defiled.

"Don't over work yourself idiot." Killua sits next to him at the table, his tail waving behind him. Those blue eyes narrow at him. "You just got done being sick, don't make yourself sick again."

"I won't." Gon smiles but he smiles down at his food. He takes a couple of bites of his cereal before he feels a hand grip his chin and he's forced to look at Killua. The boy has a strange expression on his face, his eyebrows furrowed as those blue eyes search him for something. Gon swallows his cereal hard, his face warming, and his heart fluttering from feeling those strong fingers on his face- "W-What is it Killua? I'm trying to eat." Gon averts his gaze.

There's a period of time where Killua just holds his chin in place, those blue eyes staring at him intently till he finally lets him go. Gon sighs in relief only to sputter when Killua jabs him in his side, getting him to jerk. Killua's eyes widen when Gon chuckles, as if he didn't expect that reaction. "What was that for?" Gon swats his hand away when he touched his rib again getting him to laugh.

"I wanted to hurt you for being blah these past couple of days but...i didn't expect you to laugh. Is this a laughing spot for you?" Killua moves Gon's hand out of the way and touches his rib again, getting Gon to sputter in laughter. He scoots his chair away to get away from those dangerous fingers of his. Killua's eyes widen at the reaction but they're lighting up and his ears are twitching. His pupils get bigger as he hones in on the spot. "You humans have a laughing spot? Do you feel joy when I touch you there?" Killua scoots his chair closer to Gon, the older man can feel himself start to sweat.

"N-No it's not like t-that- Killua!" Gon tries to protect his ribs but to no avail. Killua is much faster than him and stronger. Gon can feel it, Killua easily rips his hands out of the way so he prob at his ribs. Gon throws his head back, not able to help it as giggles escape his lips. Killua's pupils keep getting bigger and soon he's out of the seat and touching him there with more vigor, those blue eyes so bright and his lips turning in this large, playful smile.

Gon wiggles trying to get away from this boy but he just ends up falling on the floor with Killua right after him. "No! Hahahahaha K-Killua...ha...Please!" Gon has tears at the corner of his eyes he's laughing so hard. Curse his ticklish ribs! He's powerless against Killua.

"But you're laughing so much! Why didn't you tell me you had this joy spot?" Killua chuckles himself, watching Gon's every movement so when he thrashes one way, Killua is there to touch his body. If Gon wasn't dying at this moment, he might have liked the bright look in Killua's face and how he smiles.

"Nooo! Haha! Killua- Can't breathe! Can't breathe!" Gon yells out, losing his oxygen supply from the attack. Killua's smile twitches into a frown and he quickly stops. Gon takes a deep breathe, his face flushed from exertion, and from Killua being on top of him. Killua breathes heavily on top of him, those blue eyes looking down at him with wide eyes.

"Big brother what were you doing to Gon?" Alluka peeks from around the corner, her ears back. She seems a bit worried from what she saw. Hisoka's pupils are big like he's tempted to just jump into the fun time. "I never seen him so wiggly!"

"I was just..." Killua reaches to touch Gon's ribs but he smacks it away.

"N-No more!" Gon pants, holding Killua's wrist when he had tried again. He giggles a little more, his body reacting to just thinking he's going to touch him again.

"But you looked like you really enjoyed it. I've never heard you laugh so hard." Killua tilts his head. "Why don't you like your joy spot being touched? Was it too much joy at once?-"

"It's not a joy spot." Gon can't help to chuckle at Killua's cuteness, patting Killua on the head, getting his eyes to light up again. He wipes the tears away from his eyes. "Some humans are ticklish. I'm not really sure why it happens to some and others not but...I read somewhere that it's teaches humans to guard these areas? It's strange but I guess it makes sense. When you touch someone where they're ticklish...it's like they lose all control and they're forced to laugh. If you tickle too much you can make someone lose their breath or even pee themselves."

"I see." Killua soaks all this in, all the while enjoying the attention he's getting from the older male, purring softly. "But It did look like you were happy. You humans have some strange defenses."

"Well it can be fun sometimes." Gon grins at Killua, reaching out to lightly touch Killua's neck. "I bet you're ticklish Killua! Somewhere." Gon's eyebrows furrow when he gets no reaction out of Killua. Usually the neck is a big ticklish spot. He tries under the chin but that only gets Killua to purr louder, leaning into the touch, those blue eyes sparkle.

"I've never experienced what you just did but you can search my body for this ticklish spot." Killua grins at Gon when he starts to pout when the neck doesn't do anything to him. Gon tries under Killua's arm pits next but Killua just tilts his head at him, smirking slightly. Gon moves to the ribs, nothing. He tries under the knees and even Killua's feet! Nothing!

"Mannn I guess you're not ticklish." Gon sighs, crossing his arms. He had wanted to get the younger boy back-

"Yeah but you are~" Killua jabs him in the rib getting Gon to sputter and crawl away from him.

"Killua noo! NO more!" Gon's heart beats faster, this happiness welling up in him similar to what a child feels playing with their friend. Those blue eyes have a tint of playfulness and mischievousness. A deadly combination. "I-I need to get going Killua!" Gon turns to start crawling away, trying to get up but Killua pounces on him easily, forcing Gon back down. Killua chuckles in his ear, getting Gon's heart rate to increase, a blush covering his cheeks. Gon is so happy Killua put on some clothes that cover him good. This is starting to become too much for him. Killua's laughter is adorable. This moment should be fun and cute but Gon is getting too warm which in turn makes his stomach twist in guilt and a panic to clench his chest.

"Big brother...?" Alluka tilts her head at the two. She's never seen her brother act like this before. She knows he's being really gentle but he's pushing Gon down. Her brother's laughter seems to put her at ease and she smiles from off the side. Hisoka is more interested in the expression of Gon's face and how it's starting to change, his lips curling up into a smile.

"You can't get away from me Gon." Killua teases, his fingers resting on Gon's ribs in warning. Killua's tail is waving around in a pleased way, it brushes against his leg every now and then.

"Killua I really have to go-" Gon tries to keep his voice even. He's realized something. If Killua really wanted to, he could keep him down on the ground like this. When Gon tries to push against him, he doesn't budge. Killua is a lot stronger than him. He wonders if Alluka is stronger than him? And then there's Hisoka...It doesn't bother him or anything. He's a bit curious though. Are they stronger because of the experiments?

"Do you really have to study? You're having fun." Killua says close to his ear and Gon swears Killua is the voice of temptation. The same voice that tells him to watch YouTube videos instead of studying or to eat that extra piece of pie he knows he should have. "And in this position, I'm the one deciding if you're getting up." He chuckles and it's playful. He has to wonder if he's being serious though-

"Poor Gon. Kittens can be extremely playful can't they?" Hisoka hums. Gon can feel Killua tense on top of him. Gon is relieved when he gets off of him though, he sighs in relief. That was close. Gon knew if that kept going on he was going to have a problem. Gon's stomach twists in that guilt as Killua helps him up, he's grinning at him. His expression is so bright, those blue eyes alight in the way that Gon loves.

"We were both playing around so fuck you. Gon had fun, right?" Killua is still grinning at him but those blue eyes change.

"Yes." Gon finds himself saying, smiling at Killua when his grin widens. Gon's eyes widen when Killua wraps his arms around Him suddenly, nuzzling his head aggressively. His purr is loud in his ear and Gon can feel himself warm. "I-It's time for me to go Killua." Gon pulls him away gently, averting his gaze from those strange eyes.

"I guess." Killua grumbles, his tail flicking in annoyance when Gon lets go of him and walks into the living room to put on his shoes.

"I want to know if i'm ticklish!" Alluka jumps on the crouch, wrapping her warms around Gon's neck from behind. "Also i'm going to color you a lot of pictures today!"

"I look forward to it." Gon chuckles, scratching behind Alluka's ear. Killua crosses his arms and puffs out his cheeks but he doesn't say anything. "I'm sure Killua could help you find if you're ticklish! And if you find his ticklish spot, feel free to share it with me." Gon whispers this, knowing full well Killua can hear. Those ears are twitching on top of his head before he narrows his eyes at Gon, a smirk coming to his lips.

"Ha! I don't have one. Sis won't find anything and if she did I doubt she would tell you-"

"Okay! I'll tell you Gon!" Alluka giggles when her brother's face drops.

"Alluka you traitor!"

"Sorry big brother! But Gon got me coloring books." Alluka lets go of Gon so he can get up. Killua glares at her half heartedly, getting Alluka to giggle more.

"I could help you find your ticklish spots Alluka~" Hisoka inches closer to the smaller girl. Killua is in front of her in a flash, glaring darkly at Hisoka.

"You won't be touching my sister you creep!"

"Hisoka don't creep on Alluka." Gon sighs. Hisoka's ears twitch and he looks at Gon like he's confused.

"I never creep on anyone."

"Like hell you don't!" Killua's eyebrow twitches.

"You wound me." Hisoka sighs, putting a hand to his heart before he smirks over at Gon. "But at least i'm not the only creep huh Gon? We both have a certain kind of taste."

Gon was getting on his jacket when he had said this. He tenses up, looking over at Hisoka with wide eyes. His face gets pale when he sees how those yellow eyes gleam at him. He feels like he could be sick. Does Hisoka know? Is it that obvious? He must know! Those yellow eyes are seeing right through him. And he's right. He's absolutely right. Gon is a creep. He thought he was an okay human being but after his actions last night and the thoughts he had about this young boy...

"Gon isn't anything like you. Don't call him a creep, you're the only creep here!" Killua growls at Hisoka. "Don't take that from him Gon-" Killua turns his eyes on Gon. His ears go back when he catches the deep frown on his lips and how he's averting his eyes downward. "Oi...You can't seriously be letting what this guy says get to you? I mean, just look at him!"

Hisoka wiggles his fingers in a strange way to wave hi. Killua frowns when Gon doesn't even look at him or Hisoka. "Oi! Look at him! He's the biggest creep of them all! You're not a creep-"

"I have to go or i'll be late for my exam." Gon zips up his jacket before he opens his door, the cold air coming through, caressing Gon's cheek.

"Good luck on your exam- oi wait-" Killua starts but Gon walks out and shuts the door behind him. Gon swallows, letting the cold numb him as he walks down the stairs, his face getting flushed.

 _Oh Mito...are you embarrassed of me?_

Gon hopes that she couldn't see him last night. He hopes she doesn't know anything about this. He's really crossed the line now. He couldn't be in there any longer. The guilt was killing him. He couldn't stand hearing Killua stand up for him like he's a good person. No. Killua doesn't know what he did with his image yesterday. He doesn't know the thoughts that went through his head.

If he did know, Killua would surely think he's a creep.

* * *

Killua's ears go back at again not getting a proper goodbye from Gon. He's upset too. Killua's eyes get dark and he slowly looks at Hisoka who looks at him with a blank expression.

"What?"

"Don't 'what' me. Do not insult Gon or compare him with your nasty self." Killua narrows his eyes. "You upset him and made him had that weird look again. I had gotten it to go away but then you come and have to ruin everything like always. Can't you just crawl in a corner and die somewhere?"

"I never called Gon a creep directly." Hisoka chuckles. "Though it was a surprise to see him react so much to it. I wonder if someone has been calling him a creep recently?"

"Huh? Who would be calling Gon a creep?" Killua's ears twitch and he frowns. Gon did react strongly to that word. He's sure it can't just because Hisoka called him it.

"I have no idea." Hisoka hums.

"What if that mean man that Gon spilled a drink on called him a creep?" Alluka's ears twitch as she comes up with this.

"You think so?" Killua's eyes narrow at the thought. Have those humans were he works been insulting Gon? Why didn't he tell him?

"Or maybe he thinks of himself as a creep." Hisoka adds, more like he was talking to himself but Killua had caught it.

"Why would he think of himself as a creep? I use to think Gon didn't have any friends but...he does have friends. He seems to be following social norms." Killua grumbles the last part. "I've done research and Gon seems good by human standards. He has a job, goes to school and has his own place. He has friends and he has a mate interest, me. So there's nothing here that makes him a creep. Not by my standards or human, so why would he think that?"

"There's a big issue with you being his mate interest." Hisoka's tail flicks. "My, must I do everything for you?"

"What the hell is that suppose to mean?" Killua snarls, gripping his fist. "Just yesterday you were telling me that Gon didn't think of me as a mate interest. You tried to make me believe that I was like family to him. And it's been fucking with me-"

"It's sad really. You're so insecure. You won't be able to get Gon at all." Hisoka sighs. "This is getting less fun. You didn't react the way I wanted at all. Though it was amusing to see your broken expression it was only amusing for so long. I grow bored-"

"My feelings aren't meant to be for your entertainment bastard." Killua wants to rip this guy's throat out. He really does. His fingers are twitching and his blood lust can be smelt in the air.

"Now, now. Listen to me and you won't regret it." Hisoka puts his finger in the air. Killua stares at him for a moment before crossing his arms. Hisoka smirks. "Good boy~ When you were touching Gon a couple of nights ago, what happened? What did you smell?"

"...He was aroused." Killua thinks back, his hear beating faster thinking about it.

"Yes. Your insecurity let you believe my words. He would not be getting aroused if he thought of you as a family member silly kitty-"

"Don't ever call me that again." Killua wrinkles his nose but his heart is lifting. He knew it. So why did he let Hisoka's words bother him so much? He over thinks things and he got himself all freaked out about what Hisoka said. It made it awkward to touch Gon for the past couple of days before he didn't know if he was making him sick. "I hate you. I really do."

"Aww now don't say that. I'm being nice and helping you out." Hisoka chuckles darkly. "but your touch has been making him sick. He's attracted to you and he gets aroused by you, so why would he get sick?"

"Um..." Killua's ears flatten. Does he get sick? Is that what that strange look he's been seeing on Gon's face means? And why he's been averting his gaze from him? And not touching him as much? Killua's stomach twists but he feels like he knows the answer. "...My age?"

"Bingo!" Hisoka purrs. "That look he has, is guilt. Such a rotten thing. A human emotion. Because of the social norms..."

"Gon thinks he's a creep for being attracted to me?" Killua's eyebrows furrow and he looks down at his hands. That's so stupid though. Gon is Gon. He's not a creep. And he's not that much younger than the law names him an adult. Why would he feel so bad for it? It's a natural thing isn't it? Killua really likes Gon, so it's natural that Killua wants to mate with him. He feels no guilt for it or any other bad emotion. Gon's gender and age mean nothing to him.

"You finally got it." Hisoka chuckles.

"I don't think Gon is a creep for that." Alluka frowns from her spot on the floor. She had started coloring, humming to herself. "I'm really happy that Gon really likes big brother!"

"So because of what some stupid Humans said, Gon is feeling guilt? It's because of their stupid law?" Killua narrows his eyes, his chest burning up. He'll be damn if some humans are going to tell Gon what he can and can't do. Killua isn't going to let those humans control Gon or make him feel bad for what comes natural.

"Yesss...but I think it's more to it than that." Hisoka hums, tapping his finger on his lips.

"What are you talking about?"

"I've helped you enough. I'm sure you have enough information to get this moving yes? This sexual tension has been getting me down. I'm ready to see you two mate-"

"Like i'm going to let you watch." Killua growls, feeling that possessive flare in his chest.

"So mean." Hisoka's eyes gleam. "I will have my fun."

Killua moves away from Hisoka to sit next to his sister, having to get away from him or he'll end up fighting him again. Despite his irritation...Killua feels a bit better. It all comes back to Killua's age. But after reconfirming with himself that Gon does want to mate with him, that he does get arousal by him, Killua is okay with that. If Gon loves him like a mate, if he gives him the highest affection, Killua knows that his age won't matter. Gon just has to see that those humans are stupid for making such a law.

Killua has been feeling like shit these past couple of days. He's been fighting with his urges of just holding Gon down and taking him, and having a panic attack because of Gon's strange treatment towards him.

It's been two days since he's received a kiss of affection from Gon. That enough makes him feel anxious and irritable. And he's been pushing him to the side and not looking at him as much. It bothers Killua to hell.

He's going to throw these insecurities to the side. He's going to take Gon tonight and he's not going to take no for an answer. That law means nothing to him. Killua is going to show Gon that he can make him feel good, despite that law being there.

Killua is going to have Gon tonight and there's nothing those dirty humans can do about it. These feelings he has for Gon...they've grown so much since the first day he's laid eyes on him. It's all new to him but if Killua could put a name on it...it would be love. He loves Gon. He wants to always be around him. He wants to follow him everywhere. He wants to hear him laugh and he wants to play around with him. He wants to touch him and smell his scent. He wants to mark him. He wants to taste him.

Gon has become...precious to him. That's the word Gon used for him but he also feels the same way. He just has trouble expressing these new emotions with words he never had to use before.

So he'll use his actions, and any word that he can choke out to get Gon to be his.

Killua's eyes shine and he grabs the labtop, grabbing his sister by the hand before pulling her into the bedroom. Hisoka smirks watching them go, a pleased smile on his lips from seeing that expression.

Killua will do so much research. He will get more words to say to explain this. He'll find the proper way of doing it. He can't hold these back much longer, not when he's feeling sure of himself.

He won't let Humans stand in the way of what he wants. Their doors couldn't hold him back and neither can their laws.

Nothing is going to hold him back from Gon.

* * *

"I failed...I know I did." Gon whimpers, laying his head on the desk. Everyone has finished and are gone, except for him and Leorio who are still sitting there in shock.

"Uh...what did you put for number 8-" Leorio starts to question him, Gon shakes his head quickly.

"Don't Leorio. I don't want to talk about it." Gon rubs his head, closing his eyes tightly. He couldn't focus at all. His mind couldn't function. After getting his first rape victim question he was done. So done. Gon feels like the earth could just open up beneath his feet and swallow him whole and he'll be okay with that.

"Don't look so down Gon. I'm sure you didn't fail!" Leorio pats him on the back, those brown orbs looking him over before he frowns. "Man...you're really pale and tense. Did you...take care of it yesterday-"

"I did. I made it worse. It was a mistake." Gon mumbles, his stomach twisting. Leorio stars at him a moment before he puts his arm around his shoulder, pulling him closer.

"I can't deal with a stressed out Gon! I'm the one who's suppose to be pulling my hair out, not you. You look like you're about to kill over. So how about me and you have a guys night out? Huh? What do you say? We can cerebrate finishing these stupid classes. We can go out to eat, go to the party our fellow classmates are having and get drunk off our asses! I'm not going to take no for an answer-"

"That sounds...good." Gon relaxes in Leorio's hold. He needs to be out of that house. He needs to think of what he's going to do. He's driving himself crazy. Going out with Leorio sounds nice. He hasn't been able to in awhile. Gon frowns when he thinks of Killua at home but...when he thinks of his actions, he thinks it's for the best. He can't go home to Killua right now. He's dreading it.

"Come on you have to- what wait? It does?" Leorio's eyes widen at Gon agreeing to it, those brown orbs shinning with excitement. "Well alright! That's what I'm talking about! Lets go and get something to eat. I'll call Kurapika. I'm starving over here." Leorio jumps up, pulling out his cell phone, looking cheery. Gon watches him dial a number which reminds him...

He has to call Komugi and ask her to sit for him again.

Gon is about to get his phone out when Leorio looks over at him...and he smiles at him. "It'll be alright."

Gon smiles back at him. He's sure it won't be alright though.

Once they've both made their phone calls (He's so happy that Komugi loves sitting them so much. She's really been helpful. He needs to give her a good pay), they head out of the classroom. Leorio is talking about all the booze he's going to drink and how they should play beer pong. Gon listens to it, trying to focus on Leorio and nothing else.

A student walks by with headphones in, his music blaring so loud that Gon can hear it. He feels his stomach sink at the words.

" _But I'm a creep...I'm a weirdo. What the hell am I doing here? I don't belong here-"_ And then Gon can't hear anymore because he's walked off.

Creep...

Leorio hits him hard on the back. Laughing loudly about something he must have said but Gon missed it. He gives him a smile but it feels tired.

Gon is worn out and though he normally doesn't drink, tonight will be an exception. Leorio always tells him how he can drink his stress away...

Gon hopes alcohol can do the same for him.

* * *

 **Merry Christmas everyone!**


	11. Chapter 11

"I fucking knew it. I knew it. I really did." Leorio groans, rubbing his head, staring at his phone with a deep frown on his face.

"You failed?" Kurapika looks over at his lover. He sits next to Leorio, sipping on his coke.

"Yup. Got a 72. Damn it."

"Don't get yourself down Leorio. You did good on a lot of your other tests!" Gon smiles, he sits across from Leorio, finishing up the cheeseburger he ordered. "I'm sure you still passed the course!"

"Gon is right." Kurapika watches as Leorio grumbles to himself. He reaches over and puts his hand on his shoulder, rubbing it. "What did you get for the course?"

"I knew I should have studied more. But nooo..." Leorio sulks, mumbling to himself, staring at his empty plate.

"Leorio look at your grade. The final doesn't matter if you passed." Kurapika pushes Leorio lightly, getting him to blink and look at his phone again.

"...Yeah. You're right..." He winces as he scrolls down. "This is the moment of truth- Fuck yes I got a 90!" Leorio shouts at the end, his brown eyes widening. He laughs loudly, everyone in the restaurant staring at him with wide eyes.

"Um Leorio? There are children present." Kurapika's eyebrow twitches slightly. "Did you forget where we are? Don't shout-"

"Yes! Good job Leorio! Wow a 90!" Gon shouts just as loud, reaching over the table to give the older man a high five.

"Okay, Okay." Leorio takes a deep breath before he hands the phone to Gon who blinks at it owlishly. "Now it's your turn."

"Oh...n-no i'm good. I'm just going to drink my drink-" Gon tenses when Leorio pushes the phone in his hand, giving him a firm look.

"I didn't want to look at it and I did! It's your turn. You got to get this off your chest. If you don't, this party isn't going to do anything for you." Leorio crosses his arms, watching Gon closely. He's ready to stop Gon if he tries to run.

"It's okay Gon. I'm sure you did fine." Kurapika smiles gently, trying to comfort him. Gon feels like he's trapped in a game of good cop, bad cop.

"Oh man..." Gon swallows, accepting his fate as he signs Leorio out of the website before putting in his information. He waits anxiously for the screen to load. Gon gasps.

"What? What did you get?" Leorio tries to lean over the table to see but he only ends up knocking over Kurapika's drink.

"Leorio!" Kurapika snaps.

"Jeez I'm sorry I'm just trying to see-"

"I got a 80 on the final." Gon breathes out, Leorio and Kurapika looking at him with wide eyes. "And I got a...77 in the course...do you know what this means?" Gon looks at Leorio and Kurapika with watery eyes, getting both of the older men to tense. "I passed!" Gon chokes out, his chest getting tight.

"You passed!" Both Leorio and Kurapika cheer, their eyes getting bright as they get up, rushing over to Gon's side. They get into the booth, giving him a big hug, all three of them chuckling. They've forgotten about the stares they're getting.

"I knew you did Gon." Kurapika pulls away, nuzzling his head.

"Yeah! You had nothing to worry about! Now you don't have to stress about it!" Leorio grabs Gon's hands and starts to shake them. "We're moving on! Me and you buddy! We're going to fuck next semester in the ass-"

"I'm going to have to ask you three to leave. You've upset some of our customers." The waiter that had been serving them stops at their table, his jaw set.

"Whatever, we were done anyway." Leorio grunts, leaving the money on the table before getting out of the booth, Gon following after.

"Why is it every time we go out to eat, we always get kicked out?" Kurapika sighs as they walk out of the restaurant. He has an amused smile on his lips though. "You two are a handful, really."

"Hey, I'm just really excited. We both passed!" Leorio grins, wrapping his arm around Gon's shoulder, giving him a playful hair shake.

"Congratulations to you both." Kurapika leans up to give Leorio a kiss on the lips, before giving Gon a hug. "I couldn't be anymore proud of you, Gon."

"Thanks." Gon giggles when Leorio's face drops.

"What about me?"

"What about you?" Kurapika gives him this pointed look but when Leorio's face gets hot with anger, Kurapika can't help to crack a smile. "Of course I'm very proud of you, Leorio." The taller man's anger fades from his expression and he flushes, a pleased smile coming to his lips and he averts his gaze.

"I passed..." Gon mumbles to himself, his amber eyes still shining, his heart beating faster. After taking that exam, he really thought it was all over. He thought he was going to fail the semester. But he didn't. He's moving on. He's getting closer to reaching his dream. He's going to help people, he's going to heal, he's going to-

Killua's playful grin flashes through his mind, those blue eyes alight. The image gets his chest tightening and he feels his smile grow- But then the image warps and he sees those dirty positions he had Killua in when he was-

How can he take care of others when he can't even stop himself from violating a young boy? A rape victim at that? _Creep._ That's what he is. How can he be happy when he's a-

"Gon. You're trembling." Gon blinks, his eyes moving slowly over to the side. Kurapika and Leorio are looking at him with frowns on their faces. Gon looks down at his hands. He is trembling. "What's wrong? Your expression completely changed."

"I wonder...if I'm fit to be a doctor." Gon says quietly. Kurapika and Leorio look at each other, exchanging a look of shock before looking back at Gon. Kurapika is the one to speak first.

"Of course you are. Gon, you care so much about everyone. You'll be a great doctor."

"Yeah. What is this coming from? You just passed a very hard class! Don't look so glum! I can see you being down if you didn't pass but you did! That just shows you're fit to be a doctor. You've been talking about this since the day we met."

"I've wanted this for as long as I can remember. I wanted to be a doctor like my father and I still do but I...I'm a creep."

"What are you talking about Gon? You're not a creep." Kurapika takes a step closer, putting his hand on Gon's shoulder.

"Who the fuck told you that?" Leorio puffs out his chest, getting closer, his face getting scrunched up.

"This guy...but he's right. I'm in love with a 16 year old boy and I want to do disgusting things to him." Gon mumbles.

"Okayyy lets talk about this in the car." Leorio glances around, pushing Gon towards their car. They all get in, a heavy silence falling over them. Gon knows he's the cause of it. Kurapika gives Leorio a look, and he sighs. "Gon...it's normal to want to do sexual things to someone you love. You should know that."

"We know your feelings for this boy are true. You're not a creep Gon. A creep would want to use that boy and you don't want to use him-"

"You just don't get it." Gon rubs his arm. "He...He says he returns my feelings."

"So he loves you too?" Kurapika glances back at Gon, his eyebrows furrowing. "Why does that make you a creep-"

"He feels like he owes me. He's a boy that has been abused. He's been sexually abused. He's been raped. Those feelings, I'm sure are because he thinks he owes me, that he needs to do something for me." Gon bounces his legs, looking out of the window. "I know this and yet I still think of what I want to do to him. When I went into the bathroom, do you know who I thought about? It was him. I couldn't stop it. I thought of a lot of shameful things. I'm a creep. I'm no better...then those bastards."

"You're not a creep." Kurapika says firmly, his voice deeper than usual. "Gon look at me." Gon slowly looks up. Kurapika's expression has changed, those gray eyes fierce. "Do you love him or do you not?"

"...I do." Gon swallows thickly, his mouth feeling dry. He looks down at his hands-

"Gon you keep looking at me. You have that look in your eyes. Leorio start driving the car." Kurapika crawls into the back to sit next to Gon. He grabs his face, forcing him to look into those gray eyes. Leorio gets out and gets in the driving sit, his face is a bit pale and he's quiet. "Gon." Kurapika says his name firmly.

Gon's adams apple bobs but he keeps his amber orbs on Kurapika, not looking away.

"Now...You just told me you love this boy. Say it again."

"I love him." Gon swallows down the lump in his throat. His chest heaving, a panic starting to build in his chest, that guilt twisting his stomach-

"How much do you love him?"

"A lot-" Gon says quietly.

"How much?!"

"A lot!"

"Why do you love him?"

"Because I...I..." Gon chokes up on his words, Kurapika narrows his eyes.

"Do you love him?" Kurapika asks again.

"Yes! Yes, I do love him!" Gon starts to shout in desperation, wanting Kurapika to stop whatever he's doing. His heart can't take it-

"Why do you love him?" He raises his voice.

"Because Killua is amazing!" Gon screams, Kurapika eyes widening but Gon can't stop now. "Even though he's been through so much he's so strong! He made my home a home again. He gave me a new reason to do my best. He became my best friend and my most precious person. Killua can be mean but he has a good heart! He has the best smile and he's the cutest person in the whole world! He keeps me warm at night and he looks after me! His laughter makes me happy and I could get lost in those blue eyes. He makes this winter warm for me and I don't feel lost anymore when he's around. He loves chocolate and he's really playful and...I just adore everything about him." Gon didn't take a breath. He gets that all out in one go, his cheeks flushed from it all.

Kurapika stares at him with his mouth slightly open, those gray eyes staring at Gon's expression. He looks confused-

"Wait...Killua... you mean your...cat?" Leorio slams on the breaks, getting Gon to hit his head on the seat and Kurapika to hit his shoulder on the side of the car.

"Leorio don't just slam on the breaks!" Kurapika snaps, the cars behind them honking.

"Shut up! I'm going!" Leorio sticks his middle finger out of the window before he starts driving again. "I was just...shocked. But you can't mean your cat right?" Leorio laughs nervously.

Gon swallows. Crap. He said Killua's name. How can he explain this?-

"Of course he doesn't mean the cat Leorio. A cat does not laugh nor does it eat chocolate. Let me guess Gon...You named Killua after that boy you love didn't you?" Kurapika stares deep into Gon's eyes.

"Ohh..." Leorio's eyes light up in realization. "So it wasn't really the cat...I bet that boy gave you Killua didn't he?"

"Um...Yeah." Gon feels his stomach twist but he's glad that they offered him a lie.

"I see...Why didn't you tell us Gon? Were you afraid?" Kurapika frowns, putting his hand on Gon's shoulder. "Gon...we care about you deeply. You didn't have to be afraid about loving this boy. Our opinions of you haven't changed."

"Yeah! It was strange hearing about it at first but...I know you're not going to give up on this boy. From your speech you just gave there, you have it bad." Leorio smiles to himself. "I really thought you were asexual. To think our son is in love, huh Mommy?"

"I didn't think I'd see the day." Kurapika sighs, smiling to himself as he looks at Gon. Those amber eyes are starting at him, slightly widen. "Gon I know we told you that you should move on pass this boy but...this is much deeper than attraction. You're not a creep Gon. You just declared your love for this boy. It doesn't matter what his past was, you love him, and that's all that matters. You'd never push him to do something he didn't want to do."

"W-What are you saying?" Gon looks between the two. "You can't be telling me to pursue this-"

"Gon, you had that look in your eyes. We thought that if you took care of it, you could get these urges out of your system but that didn't help. It's more than just that. You truly love him. It's eating you up inside. You've started calling yourself a creep, you even compared yourself to the guys who abused him. You're blaming yourself when you shouldn't once again!" Kurapika grabs Gon's shoulders firmly, those gray eyes of his shaking. "When you get that look in your eyes..." Kurapika's voice cracks. "You know what happens don't you?"

Gon closes his eyes, memories of the freezing water going down his throat surfacing. The cold had consumed him.

"You know that wasn't your fault Kurapika. You talk abut me blaming myself but you're doing it too." Gon opens his eyes, not having to look at his friend to know what expression he has.

"This time I won't let you lie to me. I won't be fooled. I'm not going to let go of you till I know you're okay and you understand." Kurapika grabs Gon's face again. "Tell me again, do you love him?"

"I do. I love him." Gon feels his eyes water.

"Does the person that abused Killua love him?"

"No!-"

"Then are you like those men Gon?"

"No." Gon wraps his arms around Kurapika, hugging him tightly, letting his tears fall freely. "No...I'm not." He grabs the back of Kurapika's shirt, his shoulders shaking. "I don't know Kurapika. I don't know what to do. It's wrong. It's so wrong-"

"I told you before didn't I? Maybe it's wrong to society. Maybe it's against the law, but the law isn't always right. Laws were made by humans after all, and we are imperfect. Even though you say it's wrong Gon, I know you have no intentions of letting it go. You're too stubborn. Once you have your mind set, it's set. Trying to go against what you really want, is making you sick. You said Killua returns your feelings so...just take it slow. Figure it out as you go. There's no rush."

Gon rubs his head against Kurapika's shoulder, letting his words soak in. Kurapika is right. He never intended on letting Killua go did he? He only suppressed his wants, he never got rid of them. He didn't even try hard on thinking of someone other than Killua when he pleasured himself. This whole time he's been feeling so guilty for his feelings for Killua that it's been making him sick. Even though it's wrong to the world...is it wrong to him? Gon does love Killua. He really loves him. There's no question about it. Gon doesn't' want to do anything to hurt him.

So maybe...it's okay to take it slow? There's a lot for him to think about but he...feels better. A lot better.

"Thank you Kurapika...thank you so much." Gon pulls away, smiling at his friend, that strange look has left those amber orbs. Kurapika sees this and lets out a sigh of relief, smiling softly.

"...There is one thing I want to know." Leorio glances back at Gon through the driver's mirror. "...Does his parents know? About you I mean?"

"His parents aren't really in the picture...They don't know about me."

"How much do you see him?"

"...A lot. He comes over a lot."

"...Well..." Leorio's lips slowly turn in a smile. "You better let me met the little bastard. I need to thank him in person for giving you such a monster of a cat."

"I don't think he'll like that." Gon giggles, his chest feeling so much lighter. "I don't know when you'll be able to see him though...he doesn't really like too many people."

"Well he's going to like us." Leorio grins. Gon can't help to chuckle.

"I don't know about that."

"What the hell is that suppose to mean?!"

"It means he probably won't like you Leorio." Kurapika crosses his arms. "You'd probably scare the boy away-"

"Scare him away? With this face? Bitch please."

"Leorio I love you but you really do have the face of an old man. And don't call me a bitch. Call me that again, lets see what happens to you."Kurapika's voice gets lower. Leorio tenses, mumbling something to himself.

"I don't have the face of an old man! Look this kid is going to love me. I can be Gon's wing man-"

"He doesn't need you as a wing man. We want to help him, not hurt him-"

"Fuck you Kurapika! You always putting me down. You're a little shit is what you are-"

"I'm just being honest." Kurapika sighs, chuckling when he gets Leorio's face all red.

Gon looks out of the window, smiling to himself, listening to them go back and forth. The air has gone back to normal. The tension is gone.

Gon still has a lot to think about but he doesn't feel like crawling up in a ball and hiding like he did. His friend's words have helped him getting out of this dark place in his mind. That place that he couldn't crawl out of the first year of Mito's death. That place of guilt...

But Gon does love Killua. It felt nice saying it, admitting it so many times. He doesn't know what he's going to say to Killua when he sees him...he doesn't know how he's going to explain these mixed emotions he has...but he has to get better.

Though Gon feels better, the guilt still lingers. It's just been suppressed once again, that dark place always waiting for him.

The cold is still there with open warms, ready to embrace him and consume him.

* * *

The party that Leorio has been talking so excitedly about is being held at Skylar's house, one of the oldest students in their class. He's the only person that owns a decent sized home due to the generous loan that his parents gave him. Not a day goes by that he doesn't' remind you of his riches. Most of the other students hold their tongue just for this reason. His parties.

Gon isn't much of a partier but Leorio has told him countless times about how fun Skylar's parties are and how much alcohol he has to provide. It's all free too. It must be nice to have this kind of money.

Gon is currently on his third shot of Captain Morgan and he chugs it down easily, ignoring the sting in his throat and how warm his chest gets. There's a nice buzzing in his brain and his smile comes easier, it's like it's stuck on his face as he nods and chuckles to Leorio who is talking about...something. He's not really making much sense now that he's had 8 shots. Kurapika is cracking up, sitting next to Leorio.

The blonde is the only one who isn't drinking, he was chosen for the designated driver. The three are sitting at the bar Skylar has in his home, trying to talk over the loud music that is blaring in the living room where most people are right now.

"So then...so then this mother fucker, he gets in my face okay? He gets in my face and he's talking...and he's spitting. Just spitting in my face. And I'm just like..." Leorio takes another shot along with Gon, making a pleased grunting noise. "You're gross man."

"Wait, why was this man in your face Leorio? When did this happen?" Kurapika raises his eyebrow.

"I don't know...a couple of days ago. I think I stole his parking spot or something like that." Leorio grumbles. "People get all hot headed for...no reason."

"You're one to talk."

"Are you...sassing me right now? You wanna go?" Leorio slurs, taking another shot before getting in Kurapika's face. He wrinkles his nose.

"Leorio you don't want to fight me. Remember what happened last time."

"Pssh...you strike me down I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine!"

"haha that's from Star Wars." Gon points out, his face feeling more flushed. Gon has always been a light weight when it comes to this.

"Gon...Gon help me out. Who would win in a fight...like if we didn't love each other and we were totally pissed off, who would win? I'm pretty sure I would." Leorio looks over at Gon. "I always hold back on him because he's...my bae." He burps when he says bae.

"Bull Shit Leorio." Kurapika narrows his eyes at Leorio before looking at Gon. He seems curious about his answer.

"Hmm...Leorio Vs Kurapika..." Gon looks between them, he takes another shot before giving them a sheepish smile. "Mmm Kurapika! Hands down!"

"Ha." Kurapika smirks at Leorio who's face has fallen.

"W-What? But i'm so much more buff than him. He doesn't even work out Gon-"

"Neither do you? When is the last time you went to the gym?"

"Kurapika stay out of this. No one is talking to you- and what do you mean hands down Gon?! I could beat this guy!"

"Well...Kurapika is pretty strong. He flipped me that one time and he's sharper." Gon feels like he's on a cloud. He giggles when they glare at each other. "You two...love each other soooo much. So cute..."

This gets them both to shut up, a flush finding a way on their cheeks.

"You know I've been thinking...does it hurt a lot to be bottom Leorio?" Gon mumbles, laying his hot face on the cold counter.

"W-Why are you asking me?" Leorio tenses, his whole face getting red. "I mean it's n-not like I-"

"It depends on the person." Kurapika answers, getting Leorio to look at him with wide eyes.

"What do you mean it depends on the person? How many people...you've been with?-"

"If they are inexperienced or hasty your partner could hurt you. It also depends on your partner's size. It also depends if you are comfortable with your partner. There's a lot of factors but it's possible for it not to hurt." Kurapika flushes but he explains the best he can. Gon soaks this in, thinking to himself. His thoughts are out loud now that there's no filter on him.

"I don't really know...how Killua is but...he's pretty big down there and...I don't know...I would be comfortable with him I think-"

"That's okay Gon. You don't have to...tell us all that." Kurapika gives him a nervous smile. Leorio still looks like he's constipated as he glares at the blonde. "Leorio stop that. I've already discussed with you my past experiences."

"You seem to know a lot." Leorio grumbles.

"You always get like this when you're drunk." Kurapika sighs, grabbing Leorio's face and turning it to face him. Kurapika smiles at him before he leans in and kisses him. "Calm down. Who's going to be the man I'm going to marry?"

"...I am." Leorio flushes but he leans into the kiss, wrapping his arms around Kurapika.

"Then hush." Kurapika chuckles, pulling away, letting Leorio lay on his shoulder. He glances over at Gon who is staring off, his cheeks flushed, that look in his eyes that tells the blonde he's thinking.

"I wonder...how much it hurt him..." Gon grips his fists, those amber eyes burning with a fire.

"Don't think about that." Kurapika reaches over to tap Gon on the shoulder,getting him to blink at him. "That's over with. Is he safe now?"

"...Yes." Gon licks his lips.

"Then don't think about that then." Kurapika closes his eyes. "Why are you asking about being a bottom? What are you thinking?"

"...I don't know." Gon flushes. "I think...I don't know...curious."

"Hmm..." Kurapika looks down at Leorio who is mumbling something to himself, rubbing his head against the blonde.

"...I bet he's mad at me..." Gon mumbles, getting Kurapika to look at him. "I want to do something fun...ah! I need to get ginger bread house...and egg nog. I bet Killua would like to...and then..." Gon is running off, his words running together and hard to make out. "I need presents...soo many presents. I'm Santa...I'm Santa Kurapika."

"...Okay Gon. Maybe you had enough." Kurapika reaches over to stop Gon from taking another shot but since Leorio doesn't want to move, he can't reach it fast enough. "You're not Santa...Let's not drink anymore." Kurapika grabs the bottle of Captain Morgan and moves it so it's closer to him. Leorio takes it and pours himself another shot. "Leorio-"

"No Kurapika! I am Santa! Killua...I am Santa!"Gon bangs his fist on the counter. "I got to...get presents...I think...money."

"Gon...You're not really Santa-"

"Killua...believes I am."

"He believes your Santa?"

"Yessssssssssssss."

"Gon you're drunk."

"I don't-"

"Lets dance!" Leorio gets up, grabbing Kurapika. He grins over at Gon who stares at him with wide eyes. "Come on Gon! Opps, I mean Santa!"

"Mmmm." Gon waves the two off, Leorio pulling Kurapika into the living room, the blonde glancing back at him before looking at Leorio.

"Wait we should stay with-"

Gon can't hear them anymore over the loud music. He feels really tired. How long has he been here? As Gon sits there, trying to catch up with his own thoughts and get away from the bounding noise, time goes by or maybe it doesn't. He doesn't know how long he sits there till someone speaks to him.

"G-Gon! You came to the party!" Gon blinks, turning his head, his eyes lighting up when he spots Retz walking up to him. She sits next to him, those blue eyes lighting up. "This is a wonderful surprise."

"Hi Retz." Gon sits up, giving her a lopsided smile that doesn't feel lopsided to him.

"Hehe you had a few to drink huh? I'm the designated driver so I can't." Retz giggles at the look on Gon's face. "How did you do on your final?"

"Ohhh! I got a 80!" Gon shouts. "What did...you get?"

"98-"

"Retz you're amazing! You're soo smart. I can't even...I couldn't even." Gon grabs her shoulder, shaking her slightly, getting her to giggle and flush.

"I probably just got lucky. An 80 is good Gon!"

"Not as good as a...98...so smart. Can I have...some of your smarts?" Gon starts to rub his hands over her head. She grabs his hands and giggles, putting them back down on the counter. She keeps her hands on Gon's, rubbing one of them with her thumb. Gon watches her do this before he smiles at her.

"You have your own smarts Gon." Retz scoots her stool closer to Gon, her small hands feel so soft against his.

"Nahh."

"Yes." Retz chuckles, her blonde hair is in a cute little bun. Gon thinks it is, his vision is a bit blurry. "It's really nice having you here. I think this is the first time I've seen you at one of Skylar's parties!"

"It is the first..." Gon's eyes light up when he hears a song he knows and he starts to bounce in his seat. "I love this song!"

"Wanna dance?" She asks shyly, one of her hands touching Gon's shoulder. Her face is close to his. He can see those bright blue eyes. Those blue eyes that remind him of a certain someone. Gon stares at her a moment before a large wobbly smile forms.

"Yeah! Lets dance Retz! I feel really good right now! All wiggly." Gon gets out of the stool, stumbling a few times so Retz supports him, giggling the whole time. Gon chuckles with her. "Everything feels good..."

"Wiggly? I guess you are ready to dance." Retz lets go of Gon, her hand brushing against Gon's chest before settling on his back. Gon cheers when they get on the dance floor, shaking his hips, Retz hugs his arm to make sure she doesn't' lose him in the crowd. Gon jumps and laughs, having a giggle fit, Retz along with him as they dance strangely to the music together.

Through the loud music and humming in his brain...he can't help to think he's forgetting something important.

* * *

Where. The. Fuck. Is. Gon.

Killua stares out of the window in the kitchen, watching the cars go by on the road, and looking at any human that is walking out on the side walk. None of them are Gon. Killua's tail flicks as he looks at the time before looking at Komugi who is currently petting Alluka. This woman has been here for three hours. There's no way that Gon's final lasted that long! He wants to question her. She should know where Gon is and why he called her to watch them. Gon didn't mention anything that he was doing after the final.

Killua is getting restless. Anxious. He shouldn't be sitting here right now. He has so many good things to say to Gon. He even wrote them down and looked up words on the internet just so he could get out those feelings but noooo. What came instead of Gon was this woman who Alluka likes. The food Killua had made Gon is now cold because Komugi doesn't know to put it away and Killua can't talk to her.

"Meow." Killua cries loudly, jumping off the counter to run over to Komugi, meowing again. Those strange eyes sort of look his way and she smiles.

"What's wrong Kitty?" Killua hisses at her and she frowns. "Are you hungry? Gon didn't tell me where he leaves the food...He shouldn't be too much longer. Gon will be back and then he'll feed you."

Killua's ears twitch at that. So she does know where he is? And he's coming back soon? He better hurry up before he loses his nerve. He's already decided that he's going to have to be more forward and aggressive. Gon is going to be his tonight...

Killua just wishes he would hurry up and come home. He doesn't like being trapped in here when Gon isn't around. Killua glances over at Hisoka who is curled up into a ball, napping. _Maybe I should take a nap.._.Killua yawns before he gets under the tree, feeling safe here. He would also wake up if the door opened because he's so close to it. Killua closes his eyes, wanting to speed up time. He falls asleep easily.

Killua's eyes open awhile later, his ears twitching on his head. He gets out of the tree and stretches, his ears flattening when he sees Komugi is still here. She's petting Alluka who is asleep in her lap. Hisoka is still taking a nap. Killua runs over to the clock, his heart feeling like it's going to jump out of his chest when he sees the time. Gon should have been here over 5 hours ago. Something is wrong. Really wrong. What if he's been captured? What if Gon needs him? What if those people are calling Gon a creep again?

Killua feels his fur bristle, his pupils getting bigger. He glares at the door before he glares at Komugi...She can't see is what Gon said. He knows this is a big risk but he can't sit here not knowing if Gon is okay.

Killua slowly, so slowly changes his body back to his human form. He tenses when Komugi looks right at him. He holds his breath, his ears going back. If he has to kill her, he has to kill her-

"Are one of you kitties getting into something?" She questions.

"...Meow." Killua watches how she looks off to the side.

"Be good...I'm sure Gon w-will be here soon."

 _Yeah you said that hours ago._ Killua narrows his eyes at her but he doesn't say anything. He walks quietly over to the phone. He's seen Gon call people and he's explained to him what they were used for. He even told him where his number was and to call him if he had any problems. Killua finds Gon's number in the book before taking the phone and the book into his bedroom and shuts the door quietly. The TV is loud enough so maybe she won't notice.

Killua types in the number and puts It against his ear, tapping his foot restlessly. _Damn it Gon pick up-_ His eyes light up when the ringing stops. "Gon!"

" _...Um no this isn't Gon. Who is this?"_ A voice that sounds strangely familiar answers.

"Who the hell is this? And why do you have Gon's phone?" Killua's eyes get dangerous, his shoulders stiffening up.

" _...I'm Gon's friend. He's kind of...had a lot to drink so I took his phone from him. He was throwing it around anyway...are you by chance Killua?"_

Killua's anger stops, his eyes widening. How did this person know? Did Gon tell others about what he is? He wouldn't-

" _Gon is at house party down the street from his apartment, near he convenient store. You can't miss it. The windows are flashing bright colors and we're being pretty loud. I would like to meet you. My name is Kurapika and-"_

Killua hangs up. That's all he needs to know. Gon is around here. He's been gone wayy too long. Killua has been waiting for him all day just to find out he's at some party? With Kurapika? If Gon thinks Killua is just going to sit here and wait for him, he has another thing coming. Gon said he wanted to spend his extra time with him didn't he? So why is he spending so much time away from him? Killua doesn't like it. He's tired of his mate being resistive of him.

Killua marches over to Gon's dresser, throwing out the clothes he doesn't need. He puts on some pants, pressing his tail against his thigh so he can cover it with the jeans. He winces from how uncomfortable it is but he has to hide it. Next he pulls out Gon's green hoodie and puts it on, flattening his ears and pulling up the hoodie to cover it. Killua walks into the bathroom and looks himself in the mirror. He looks likes he's a trouble maker but that's okay. His ears and tail are hidden.

Gon is going to get a mouthful from him. Killua is pissed. He got all worried and anxious and scared just to find out Gon is at a party! He's been gone for so long hanging out with Kurapika of all people! Does Gon like hanging out with Kurapika more than him? Killua grips his fists, his pupils getting longer.

Gon is the person he loves spending time with the most. He doesn't like thinking that Gon wants some other human more than him. He won't lose him to anyone. Killua is going to pull Gon out of that place and he's going to throw him down and he's going to speak these words that's he's been practicing. He's going to mate with Gon and claim him and nothing is going to stop him tonight.

Not even what he is.

Killua walks out of the room quietly, glancing over at Komugi who has nodded off, snot dripping down her nose. Killua narrows his eyes before he unlocks the door and walks out, closing it quickly.

Gon is in for a big surprise.

* * *

"Neh...I lost my phone." Gon starts feeling on his pockets, frowning. He's back at the bar with Retz, flushed from dancing so much and slightly out of breath.

"I think you threw it at Kurapika." Retz offers, rubbing her arm.

"Oh...then that's okay." Gon chuckles. "He's a good friend of mine."

"...Hey Gon I..." Retz starts only to stop when those big amber orbs lock with hers. She flushes and looks down at her hands. "..I was thinking me and you could-"

"Retz what are you doing with that guy?" Gon blinks over at this large man that's come out of the dance floor. His eyes are glossy and he looks like he's barely standing up. "Are you still trying to get in this guy's pants-"

"Stop it brother." Retz blushes darkly, glaring at this guy. "N-No that's not-"

"If he hasn't seen that you want him by now he's either stupid, not interested, or gay." He grunts, raising his eyebrow. "I bet he's queer."

"I said stop it-"

"Mmmm I don't know. You think?" Gon blinks. "I do like this guy so...yes? I suppose?" This seems to surprise both Retz and this man. Soon the man starts to chuckle and Retz frowns.

"S-So...you do like men?"

"...I like a guy." Gon watches as Retz sinks into herself. He frowns. "What's wrong?" He slurs, reaching to touch her head, patting it like he does with Killua to make him feel better.

"I feel...kind of stupid. I kept hinting to you and that didn't work, I was just..." Retz frowns deeply. "Do you only like men...do I still have a chance?"

"A chance?" Gon's eyebrows furrow.

"To be with you." Retz's face is so red. "Gon...I've liked you for a really long time. You're so nice and kind and...very handsome. I know this is cheap...doing it when you're drunk but I get so nervous around you and I..."

"Retz you like me?" Gon's eyes widen. He frowns and hits his cheeks with his hands. "You want to date me?...I'm sorry Retz but i'm...kind of in some sort of relationship? I think." Retz sinks and Gon feels his stomach twist. "But you're really pretty Retz. Beautiful. If you asked any other guy, i'm sure they would say yes. I'm just..I love him so I can't be with you."

"..Tell me this, if I had confessed to you earlier, could I be with you right now?"

"...Maybe." Gon's not sure. If he never met Killua or she did it before he fell in love with him, would he date Retz? He doesn't see why not except for the whole he doesn't really have money or time but he would have explained that to her and if shes was okay with that...then yes. Maybe they would have been.

She nods her head and smiles sadly. "I shouldn't have waited..."she takes a deep breath and puts her hand on Gon's shoulder. "Well I have to say...who ever that guy is he's lucky. But if...you know things don't work out with him..." She blushes darkly. "I'm here."

"You won't be single for long Retz." Gon chuckles, liking that the light has come back to her eyes. Her brother has just walked off somewhere- oh. No he just passed out. He's laying on the floor, drooling.

"We'll see." She stands up. "I have to go and start getting everyone ready to leave. I told them we couldn't stay out too late." She smiles at Gon. She leans down and kisses him on the cheek, those amber eyes widening slightly. "...I won't give up yet." She smiles at him before she runs off quickly, her blush reaching her ears.

Gon watches her go, blinking before he chuckles, touching where she kissed. That was cute. Retz is cute. Really if he didn't have Killua, that could have been a possibility-

"You can just go ahead and admit it."Gon turns to look over at Allan, a man in his nursing class, who has just sat down next to him. His face is flushed and Gon Is sure he's drunk.

"Go ahead and admit what?" Gon is starting to get sleepy.  
"I couldn't help but to over hear you talking with Retz. You told her you liked a guy." Allan slurs, those brown alight as he grins. " It's me isn't it?"

"Huh?" Gon tilts his head. He doesn't even remember the last time he's talked to this guy.

"I mean...it's obvious. When we went to the gym...you were totally checking me out in the shower."

Gon has to recall what he's talking about and when he does, he can't help to giggle. He was looking at him a lot but what he was looking at was a fake tramp stamp that they had placed on this man that said 'please enter here.' It came off before this guy ever knew he had it.

"N-No you had a-"

"Dude you don't have to lie you know? I mean, I think you're pretty cute myself. I'm looking for a good time tonight so...lets try this thing out."

Try what out? Gon wants to question him but soon Allan is grabbing his chin and pulling his head in, kissing him on the lips. He tastes like pizza. Gon's face scrunches up and he tries to push him off but he just deepens the kiss, his tongue trying to wiggle past his teeth. His large hands are traveling down Gon's back and one of them rests on his ass.

Gon is starting to get irritated. He won't get off. His sluggish self isn't able to push him off as he should so he's about to put his back into it and knock Allan into the floor-

Allan is punched in the face, the large man is sent flying across the bar, hitting the wall hard and shattering some bottles of alcohol. Gon stares at this with wide eyes, looking over at the person who just did all this damage.

He's wearing a hoodie so it's hard to see his face.

This person marches over to Allan who is groaning on the ground, holding his cheek and hits him again! Really hard too...Gon is sure he heard something crack...Gon gets up and quickly grabs this guy by the arm. "W-What are you doing? He's down! Hey-" Gon stumbles towards this man, tripping over a stool. This person turns around quickly and grabs his arm, preventing him from falling. This person touches Gon's face, his hands are trembling. "What is..." Gon slurs, trying to get a thought out but it's getting harder-

Gon's eyes widen when this person grabs his chin and kisses him roughly, his tongue slipping pass his teeth. He's growling and pressing his body against Gon's...Gon stares at this man's face and sees blue staring back at him, there's' only one person with eyes like that...his heart beats faster and his body warms...In his drunken haze he forgets about everything but the boy in front of him.

"Killua!" Gon cheers, breaking the kiss, throwing his arms in the air. He tenses when he's picked up and thrown over Killua's shoulder and he starts marching through all the people, shoving them if he has to. "Wait? What's happening?...Am I...why are you here?..." Gon's brain is about to break down as he tries to make sense of it.

Leorio and Kurapika block the way out, they both look slightly nervous.

"So you're Killua-"

"Get the fuck out of my way." Killua growls, shoving them out of his way so he can walk out of the home.

"Ughhh he's so not cute. Gon he's not cute! Are you serious?" Leorio slurs, pointing a shaking finger at them.

"He's so cute!" Gon counters but his eyes are drooping and he feels like...sleep...

"Gon do you want to leave with him?" Kurapika walks out, seeming concerned.

"Hmm...Yes. I want to go home with Killua..." Gon mumbles, those amber eyes slipping shut. In his drunken state, sleep over comes him quickly. Today has been a very long day and he's just ready to sleep.

* * *

"What have they done to you, what have they done to you, what have they done to you." Killua mumbles to himself, his eyes wide and unstable as he carries the now unconscious Gon towards their home. Killua's heart is in his throat, he feels like there's a rock on his chest, crushing him.

That place was disgusting. It smelled like sex, alcohol and vomit. There was so many humans in one place, rubbing up against each other and the loud music killed his ears and he thought he was going to go death.

The moment he set foot in there, he became extremely anxious. The sounds, the smells, all the humans in one place...he fucking hated it. He could feel his tail puff up in his pants and all he wanted to do was kill every single one of them. He hated their loud voices and laughter, the smell of their sweat made him ill.

The fact Gon was in that place made him even more anxious. The fear and anxiety alone was fuel enough for him to just search for Gon and not waste time killing all those disgusting humans. He couldn't smell Gon's sweet scent because of all the sick fucks. He spotted Kurapika and Leorio first. Despite his better judgment he went up to them to ask where Gon is. They seemed more interested in who he was. Killua just wanted to slit their throats. Really. They told him where Gon was and...

Can you believe what he sees? This nasty human has his hands on Gon, is kissing Gon, is holding Gon. Gon didn't like it either. As soon as Killua saw it, he noticed that Gon was trying to push him away, but he couldn't.

Killua can not tell you the thoughts that went through his head. He can not. The rage he felt, it burned up in his chest and burned his throat and all he wanted to do was scream but he didn't. He ran up to that son of a bitch and got him off of Gon quick. Killua wasn't satisfied with that. He wanted his blood. Killua punched that guy a second time. He hopes he killed that human. Killua wanted to bash his head in, he wanted his blood painted on the walls but then Gon almost fell trying to stop him.

His movements were unstable and strange. Killua had to catch him and when he got a good look at his face...His face was so flushed and those eyes so glossy. His lips swollen from the kiss of that human and his speech all wrong. Killua could smell it on him. The alcohol. Gon had drank that dreaded substance. He feared he did.

Killua thought he was going to have a mental break down. He really did. All his rage turned into passion as he kissed Gon, stopping himself from screaming. Stopping himself from just tearing that home down. He needed to get rid of the dirtiness that human left behind. He really can't describe to you how angry he was. How angry he is. But that rage is being overshadowed by his worry, his anxiety.

If any of those fucking humans have touched Gon, if they've done anything to him, Killua will go back and he will kill every single last one of them. He'll make them pay for causing Gon that kind of pain.

Those bastards back at the lab use to have experiments with alcohol. They wanted to see how they would react to it. Of course at first, Killua was affected greatly by the large amounts of the substance and he wouldn't even be able to walk properly. Killua was defenseless, he couldn't stop them as they did all those horrible things, breathing in his ear and saying things he didn't want to hear as he was fucked. His senses were dulled and his body wouldn't listen to him. They liked the alcohol test the most...that is till Killua got immune to it.

Killua had no idea that Humans would willingly drink these things...he's not even sure if it was willingly for Gon. He has no idea what has been happening since he's been gone. They've poisoned Gon. The monsters at the lab said it was a poison. They've poisoned him!

Killua repositions Gon so he's holding him like a baby, his blue eyes trembling as he takes in how flushed his face is, how warm he feels. He's out cold. Killua's chest hurts so much. This feeling is horrible. So horrible. Killua should have went out looking for Gon faster. He shouldn't have taken that nap. This is all his fault.

Killua's eyes sting as he picks up the pace, his breathe coming out in uneven puffs. He hates Kurapika and Leorio. They let this happen. They weren't even watching Gon. What kind of friends are they?

Killua's whole body aches when he finally gets to the door. He searches Gon's pocket for a key, his hands are trembling so much, he ends up dropping them in the snow. "Damn it-" Killua curses, only to tense up when Gon's eyes open. Killua stares at those glossy amber orbs, feeling as if time has stopped. Gon blinks before he gives him this strange smile.

"Killua...Why are you carrying me?" He giggles. Killua puts him down, supporting him. "Oh? We're home?...When?..." Gon shakes his head. "I'm so tired..." Killua hands him the keys, the boy Is barely breathing as Gon tries time after time to get the key in the hole. Killua's hands become steady and he takes the key and unlocks the door for him.

"Gon! Are you back?" Komugi is still on the couch, petting Alluka who's ears are back. When they walk in, Alluka's eyes light up in relief only for her ears to flatten. She can sense the mood well. "Did you have fun? All your kitties were starting to miss you. I think they're hungry."

"Sorry...I was out so long." Gon slurs, Killua helping him walk in before closing the door. If Killua wasn't holding onto Gon, he's sure he would fall on his face. Killua feels sick. "I'm going to...pay you a lot...you don't even...know."

"I don't need anything Gon. Really. I enjoy spending time with your kitties, especially this one." Komugi giggles, petting Alluka on the head before getting up. "Get some sleep and please sleep on your side. Are you sure you're going to be okay?" Komugi's eyebrows furrow.

"I'll be...I'll be good." Gon hiccups. "I'm probably...just going to sleep..." Killua carries Gon over to the couch and lays him on it when Komugi started heading towards the door.

"Oh okay-" Killua pushes Komugi roughly towards the door. He opens it and pushes her out before he shuts the door and locks it. Only when she's gone, does Alluka hear her brother's heavy breathing and how his shoulders shake. He grips his fists before he turns around, those blue eyes big and watery. Alluka turns into her human form, her ears back at seeing such a expression on her brother's face as he marches over to Gon who has passed out again.

"They poisoned him sis. They gave him that alcohol...you know what they do." Killua is clenching and unclenching his fists, those eyes trembling, his teeth grinding. His pupils are big and long, tears threatening to fall down his face. "If they've done anything...I swear. I swear if they've done anything...!" Killua screams, grabbing Gon's shirt, ripping it off with nothing else in mind.

Killua scans Gon's tan flesh, looking for any bruises, any cuts, any bite marks. When he sees nothing he pulls down Gon's pants, leaving him bare and shivering on the couch. Killua's breathing comes out in uneven puffs as he checks Gon's body thoroughly, swallowing as he turns him on his stomach and looks at his bottom, spreading his cheeks.

There's no signs of trauma. No tearing, no bleeding. Killua sniffs on Gon's body...no one has touched his bare skin. Gon hasn't been defiled. Killua wasn't too late. That bastard human he attacked was probably going to try to force Gon into something. He wasn't too late...he wasn't...Gon is okay. Killua's shoulders shake and a strange sound leaves his throat. He's relieved. He's so relieved. Killua turns Gon on his back, touching that hot face, listening to him mumble something.

"...Is he okay?" Alluka asks quietly, knowing to be cautious when her brother is in this state. Killua's face is all red from him being so upset.

"Yes..." Killua lays his forehead against Gon's, the panic attackthat almost swallowed him whole slowly fades away...as he takes in Gon's scent and feels his chest raise and fall against him. Gon is okay. He made it. He's okay.

Killua takes a deep breath before letting out, the trembling of his eyes stops and his body gets still. Killua kisses Gon on the nose before he pulls away, staring at Gon, watching him sleep. "...He should be okay in the morning. The affects would wear off during the night but it always gives you a bad headache." Killua pulls down his hoodie, his ears twitching on top of his head when he notices something. "...Where's Hisoka?"

"H-He went out a little while before you came back big brother." Alluka's ears flatten. "I don't know where he went."

"..." Killua's ears twitch when Gon starts to shiver, his bare body getting covered in goosebumps. Killua touches Gon's face, trailing his fingers down to touch his toned chest, going down to feel his soft stomach. He's perfect. No scars, no filth. He feels so good to the touch. Killua stares at that face and the expressions he's making...Damn...he's so glad he wasn't a moment later. Gon is beautiful. So pure...and bright. And his body... Killua's eyes trail lower as he runs his fingers down Gon's smooth thighs, staring at his most intimate parts shamelessly.

Killua had said that tonight would be the night, that he would mate with Gon and nothing would stop him but...

Gon mumbles something in his sleep, reaching out and gripping Killua's wrist. Killua's fingers still making circles in his tan inner thigh.

He can't tonight. Not when that poison is in his system. He could never do that. Killua's ears flatten as he leans in, kissing Gon on the lips before pulling away. He just wants to kiss all over his body.

"...Big brother?" Alluka questions, Killua tensing, not realizing that he's been openly fondling Gon in front of his sister.

"...I won't do anything." Killua picks Gon up, holding him against his chest. "We're going to go to bed. We'll deal with everything tomorrow-"

"How is Hisoka going to get back in?" Alluka fiddles with her fingers.

"...We'll leave the window open for him. What is that bastard doing anyway?" Killua has a bad feeling in his gut that Hisoka is going to cause them some issues but...he just wants to curl up next to Gon. It's been a long day. His feelings have been jerked around too much. Gon is going to have some explaining to do when he wakes up.

Alluka goes to open the window. Killua walks Gon into the bedroom and lays him down gently. He won't dress him. Killua wants him like this. There's something more intimate and nice about touching Gon's body without clothing getting in the way. Gon is all bare to him and he can see everything. Gon can't hide anything from him like this. Killua can see every part that makes Gon, Gon.

Killua takes off the hoodie and pants, wincing when he straightens out his tail, it feeling a little stiff and sore from being stuffed in his pants. He wastes no time in crawling in bed next to Gon, wrapping himself around the older man, pressing their bare bodies together. Gon is so warm...This is very pleasant. Killua has never had the opportunity to sleep with Gon like this. Gon always wears boxers and he makes Killua wear a lot of clothes so...this is nice. Killua purrs, his tail brushing against Gon's stomach as he nuzzles his head against Gon's.

Killua can feel himself warm. He wants to mate. He wants to make Gon his. Killua touches Gon's soft cheeks before leaning in, kissing him, loving how he tastes. He wants more. Killua grinds his hardened member against Gon's creamy tan thigh, his breathing coming out hotly. Killua bites his lip, his hands twitching. He wants more. He wants to touch him all over. He wants to kiss him and brush himself all over his body but...

Killua knows if this continues, he won't be able to stop himself.

Killua pushes Gon's head in his chest, keeping their bodies close as he runs his fingers through Gon's hair, just the way he knows he likes it. When he hears Gon make a pleased sound in his sleep, Killua's urge to mate and the anxiety he felt for not listening to it, starts to calm down. He listens to his breathing and that settles him down..

"I'm angry with you..." Killua growls softly against Gon's forehead. There's no response so he kisses the top of his head. "...What am I going to do with you? You're so helpless sometimes...You're lucky I have self control." Gon curls more into his chest, mumbling something in his sleep. Killua feels that strange feeling in his chest and he hugs Gon closer, purring loudly.

Gon can bring so many different emotions out of him. So many that he's never felt before and now he feels because of this man that he's holding in his arms. Gon has done so much for him, and...Killua isn't going to let anything happen to him. He'll kill anyone who tries to harm him, just like that human back at the party.

...This idiot...making me all worried...

They're going to have a long chat when Gon wakes up but for now, Killua enjoys Gon's warmth, enjoys the skin on skin contact. Killua doesn't sleep. He just holds Gon on his chest, not able to rest after all that. Killua thought that he failed Gon...

Killua isn't going to let Gon out of his sight again.

* * *

 **Sorry for the wait. I've just been busy but i've actually written quite a lot for this story. I just haven't gotten to fixing it. Right now i'm working on chapter 15 so don't worry, i'm going to finish this story. Thank you for being patient with me. I've seen the love this story has gotten so I won't leave you hanging. Thanks for the reviews and keep them coming!**

 **Till next time.**


	12. Chapter 12

Gon's eyes flutter open, aware of the warmth around him and the pounding of his head as soon as consciousness comes back to him. He groans, rubbing his head and closing his eyes again. Fingers that are not his own start to touch him softly, rubbing his forehead before trailing down to stroke his cheek. It's such a nice feeling that Gon finds himself silently enjoying the nice treatment, sighing.

When he feels lips kiss his though, his eyes snap open real quick. Those big blue eyes are the first he sees, half-lidded and darkened in a swirl of emotions. Gon feels himself get warm, his heart beating faster as he realizes he's wrapped up in Killua's arms, their chests pressed together and his fingers stroking his cheek as he deepens the kiss, his tongue licking his lips. A part of Gon wants to shove Killua away, but the other part wants to pull him closer. His mind is still hazy from sleep and from his headache. This feeling is nice...the warmth is welcomed especially with the chilly air.

Gon doesn't push him away nor does he pull him closer. Killua doesn't seem to mind. He's purring, his white ears back as he rubs Gon's lower lip, coaxing him to open his mouth. Gon submits, letting the boy slip his tongue in. His eyes slip shut, a soft moan leaving his lips from such a tender kiss. Only when Killua gets closer does Gon realize something he hadn't before. Something very important in this situation. Gon's erection is pressing against Killua's hip, nothing holding it back or hiding it.

Gon shoves Killua away, his eyes widening in horror as he looks down at his naked body and then at Killua who is also naked, the haziness leaves him quickly and he tries to piece together how it got like this.

Gon is panicking. He sits up in the bed and grabs his hair, a nervous habit of his. How did he get back home? Okay, okay...so he went out to eat with Kurapika and Leorio...then they went to a party and he had a lot to drink. He remembers dancing and...kisses? Who was he kissing? Why is he naked? How did he get home-

"Gon-"

Did he sleep with Killua? Did he come home from the party and just...attacked him? Gon did decide that he was going to take it slow with Killua, that he wanted a relationship but doing it already?! Why can't he remember it? That's horrible! What did Gon say last night to Killua? Did he say anything? What if he thinks he's a horrible person? Gon's bottom doesn't hurt so...did he do it to Killua? Did he hurt him? Oh no-

"Gon!" Gon tenses when Killua grabs him by the shoulders and starts to shake roughly. Gon blinks, looking at Killua with wide amber orbs. Those blue eyes are narrowed, his ears twitching on his head. Gon's chest wells up when he sees the concern in those strange orbs. "How Is your head? Do you feel alright?-"

"Did I do anything weird to you last night?!" Gon blurts out. " I can't remember anything...I don't even remember how I got home...did I hurt you?" Gon cups Killua's face, leaning close, his heart hammering in his chest, looking for any sign of discomfort.

"You didn't do anything to me stupid. You were really messed up last night. You couldn't even walk properly. I had to come get you from that party and then as soon as I put you down, you passed out. How much of that poison did you drink? Why would you drink that stuff anyway? Don't you know what it does to your body? You're going to be a doctor aren't you!" Killua's eyes that had lighten up from the touch narrow In anger, his ears twitching on his head, his tail flicking. He grabs Gon's cheek and pulls hard, getting him to wince. "I'm angry at you idiot! Do you know how worried I was? What the hell were you doing?"

"Ow K-Killuwa-" Gon tries to get the boy's hand off of him, the pulling is stinging. His eyebrows furrow as he tries to take in everything the boy just said. Gon was really messed up? He could barely walk?...Killua had to get him? Wait... Gon's eyes widen and he grabs Killua's wrist tightly. "What do you mean you had to come get me? You didn't go outside in your human form did you?"

"Yeah I did. I needed my human form to carry you home-"

"What?! Killua! Did anyone see you? What were you thinking!" Gon yells, his amber eyes flaring. Those amber orbs are burning into blue. "You're too reckless!-"

"Don't you dare lecture me! You didn't' come home when you were suppose to! I thought something happened to you! I wasn't going to just sit there and wait when you could have needed me! You're the reckless one! You were drinking that poison and you were so defenseless! When I came, this male was trying to mate with you! You couldn't even push him away! If I didn't come, you would have been hurt!" Killua bares his teeth, hissing at Gon, those blue eyes getting darker. He grinds his teeth.

"I don't care if something does happen to me Killua! Don't come after me! I don't want anything happening to you! You could have been spotted by those scientist! They could have taken you from me!-"

"I care if something happens to you! You can't tell me to stay here, I won't listen! How selfish are you? You're scolding me for saving your ass! I wasn't careless. I hide myself. I used a hoodie to hide my ears and I hid my tail in my pants. No one saw me." Killua watches how Gon sighs in relief, putting a hand on his chest. Killua's eyes soften when he sees this reaction. He reaches out and starts to run his fingers through Gon's hair.

"Still. Even with hiding yourself, what you did was extremely dangerous. You have to promise me you won't do that again-"

"I'm not promising you that." Killua says firmly, those blue eyes sharp. "I did the right thing. If I didn't come, you would have been raped. What were you thinking? Answer me that. Do you know how much that messed with my head? I was flipping the fuck out."

"I was just..." Gon holds his head in his hands. Killua's fingers are still in his hair, scratching his scalp lightly, making him feel a bit better. His heart is still beating really fast. He got really scared for a minute there. Of course Killua would have hidden himself. It just...really scared him. Gon swallows. "I needed to get out to think. I was really stressed out...I thought having a couple of drinks would have helped me but now I regret it. I won't do that again. I should have told you what I was doing. That might have prevented you from coming out to get me-"

"That poison isn't good for anything. Don't drink it again." Killua nips at Gon's cheek, biting it, getting him to wince. "You better tell me next time if you're going to be late. I made you food and everything. Jerk." He bites Gon's other cheek, his canines sinking in but not piercing his skin. "If you're stressed, come to me. Rubbing your hair makes you feel better right? All you had to do was ask stupid."

Gon's eyes water from Killua biting his delicate face. "Ow Killua don't bite! I know you're angry but...Yes, you rubbing my hair makes me feel better. Just being with you makes me feel all warm inside and happy." Gon watches as Killua's eyes widen and he stops his biting. He stares at him intently, his strange eyes lighting up and his pale cheeks flush. He looks really happy before he looks down, those bangs getting in his face. He can still see a glimpse of his smile and he can hear his purr. "But I wasn't sure of what to do yesterday. I felt guilty for feeling like that."

"Why?" Killua looks at him quickly, raising his eyebrow.

"...Because you're so young." Gon sees how Killua tenses up. He grips his fists. He has to get this out now. " To other humans, me loving you would be seen as sick. I felt guilty because I...this love goes beyond just emotional Killua. I want to do...dirty things to you. I hated myself for it because I felt like I was just like those humans back at the lab. I didn't want to hurt you or make you hate me, I-"

"Gon..." Killua's voice is strained as he grabs Gon by the face, making him look at those fierce blue eyes. "I told you. You are nothing like those humans. I...I...adore you. I could never hate you. You said you love me. You care about me. Is this really what had you so stressed out? You idiot. I told you flat out I wanted to mate with you. It's not because I want to repay you or any of that bull shit. It's because I want to mate with you. I want to claim you. The fact that you openly say you want to do things to me...makes me hot." Killua gets closer, those blue eyes getting deeper. "I don't care what those humans say. If you want me, I'm not going to hold back. Those humans won't keep anything from me again. I...I also...You...you mean the most to me. So I'm not taking no for an answer! Gon, you're going to be my mate!"

"Killua." Gon swallows, his heart doing flips in his chest and he feels like he can't breathe. Those blue eyes are so honest and scared at the same time. He seems so sure but insecure at the same time. His ears are flattening and he's panting, grabbing his shoulders tightly. Gon decided didn't he? That he wasn't going to hold back either...that he was going to take the next step with Killua even though the world sees it as wrong.

Those words strengthen what he's decided and he smiles softly at Killua. Those eyes narrow like he's ready for a fight. "Though you're angry about what I did yesterday...because I went out, I was able to decide for myself." Gon pulls Killua into a hug, burying his head in the crook of his neck. "I do love you, Killua. You're not angry with my feelings towards you and I know I'm not like those scientist. I would never harm you. I won't let a law stop me from being with you...that wasn't really holding me back anyway. It was just the guilt. But that's fading away now, and all that is left is this warmness that makes my skin tingle. I'd be happy to be your mate Killua." A weight is lifted.

Killua takes a sharp intake of breath before his arms wrap around him. Gon once again realizes that they're both naked when he starts to rub his fingers against his lower back, his hot breath can be felt against his ear. "I'm not letting you go. You're mine for your life. If you're my mate, I won't let go." Killua's voice is strained.

"That sounds like a good life to me. I don't want you to let go." Gon closes his eyes rubbing circles in Killua's back, feeling his muscles tense up only to relax. Killua is purring like crazy, his whole body is virbating. Killua suddenly bites Gon's shoulder roughly. "K-Killua that hurts-" Killua gets off of him quickly, his body is trembling in his hold.

"This feeling...I-I don't know..." His tail is puffed up. "It's overwhelming. My heart is beating so fast I think it might stop..." Killua licks at the blood that he caused to well up on his shoulder. Gon knows the feeling. His heart is in the same boat.

"Me too." Gon rubs Killua's shoulders that are still shaking, trying to sooth him. His eyes widen when Killua pushes him down aggressively, crawling on top of him, trapping him underneath. Those blue eyes are alight, his pupils big and trembling. His face is flushed, those ears back. Gon swallows but he doesn't push him off, he keeps eye contact with those strange orbs.

"I want to mate..." Killua pants out, leaning in to kiss Gon hotly, his arousal noticeable against his stomach. When Gon feels himself get warm, he ignores the urge to push Killua away. He opens his mouth, letting Killua taste him, caressing his tongue with his own. Gon feels like he's being swept away by Killua's touches and licks and how he bites at his lip. Gon isn't sure if it's on purpose but Gon likes it.

Gon's eyes that had slipped shut in bliss, snap open when those slender fingers wrap around his twitching erection. Gon swallows when he sees the dark look in Killua's eyes, how they're glazed over, his pupils long and his cheeks flushed. Killua is powerful and dangerous, there's something in Gon that knows that in this state, he better be careful. A instinct in him tells him he's in trouble but he keeps calm even though those eyes don't look human anymore.

"K-Killua." Gon moans when he tightens his grip on his intimate part, only to tense when he squeezes a bit too hard. Gon reaches to try to pull him away- Killua growls, baring his teeth. Gon is getting nervous, the boy's nails are getting longer and he's still gripping and stroking him with those dangerous hands. "Killua...calm down." Gon reaches out to touch Killua's face. The boy hones in on the hand, his lips twitch but he lets Gon touch his cheek. Gon strokes his soft skin, smiling gently when slowly he starts to loosen his hold on him and those eyes get back to normal.

"Gon take me." Killua leans closer, his tail twitching, those blue eyes showing a bit of desperation as he rubs himself against Gon's thigh. "I'm not going to hurt you...I'd lose it if I tried to take you." He licks his lips as he gets off of him. Killua gets on his hands and knees next to him, those blue eyes staring at him intently, Gon can't help following up the curve of his back to his small little butt. Killua's body is perfect. Just seeing him like that makes Gon light headed.

"W-We don't have to get right to it Killua. I think we should take it slower-"

"No slower." Killua hisses at him. "You said you're my mate. I don't want to wait any longer. I've wanted you since it was just me and you. I'm ready for you." Killua waves his tail, sticking his butt higher in the air.

"I know we're...together now but I don't think we should go right to that- and your sister is right there!" Gon shouts when he notices the small body next to Killua. She's curled up asleep but still! Gon feels his face grow hot from embarrassment but Killua just glances at his sister before looking over at Gon. He sees his expression and looks back at his sister.

"Sis can you go into the bathroom for a moment. I'm going to mate with Gon-"

"Don't t-tell her-"

"You are?" Alluka wakes up, her blue eyes bright and her ears twitching on her head. She smiles brightly. "Yay big brother and Gon are going to mate! Are you mates? Be gentle with my big brother-"

"Ahahhhhh!" Gon overs his eyes with his hands. That' so wrong! Alluka is so cute and young and sweet. She should not be cheering about him and her brother having sex. Gon gets under the covers and just stays there. His head ache has just gotten a lot worse.

"What was with that sound just now?" Killua asks, his ears going back and his eyes widening from Gon's actions. "Alluka we'll be fine. I'll get you when we're done." He nuzzles her head, giving her a kiss on the forehead. Alluka beams and runs off into the bathroom, shutting herself in with her coloring books.

"Did I hear something about you two mating~" Gon groans when he hears Hisoka's voice. He hears Killua hiss, there's a bang and then the door is slammed shut and locked.

"There. Now we can mate." Killua crawls back in bed, pulling down the blankets, his ears twitching when Gon keeps his face covered. He peeks through his fingers, just spotting how Killua licks his lips, that dangerous look starting to come back.

"Killua I don't think we should do it right away-"

"Do you not want to mate with me?" Killua narrows his eyes at him. "You smell as if you're ready to mate and you're reacting to me-"

"I want to...mate. I mean...I want to make love to you but-"

"If you want to there's no problems." Killua grabs his hips aggressively, those eyes getting darker, his breathing increasing. "If you keep fighting with me like this, after everything you just said, I won't be able to control myself. I won't be able to fight my instinct, especially when you smell like that."

"Killua calm down. I'm not fighting you." Gon winces when he tightens his grip on his hips. He knows Killua isn't hurting him on purpose. The older man is starting to sweat as he strokes Killua's arms softly. "I want to make love with you. I just don't want to go all out right now. We can do...other things. We'll work up to that."

"...Other things?" Killua raises his eye brow, his tail twitching behind him. That dark look has left from Gon's caressing and he purrs, loosening his hold on Gon's hips.

"Yes. Other things that can feel good. Other things that are like mating but...um..." Gon doesn't know how to explain it that well. Killua has no context but he's looking at him with those big blue eyes, those pupils honing in on him. "Maybe it's best I just show you. If that's okay..." He swallows when Killua nods slowly. "Then lay on the bed, on your back, Get comfortable." Gon feels dirty just telling the younger boy to do this but...He needs something. He needs to work himself up to going all out with Killua. He can still feel that twisting of his gut. He feels like a little child stealing cookies when they know they shouldn't.

"Is this a human thing?" Killua asks as he gets off of Gon and lays on his back. Killua's eyebrows furrow and he sits up, propping up a pillow so he can sit up against the wall. "Can I sit up? I don't like being on my back..." Killua doesn't say anything else and he doesn't have to. It doesn't make him comfortable for a reason.

"That's fine. As long as you're comfortable." Gon nods, moving so he's sitting in front of Killua. His amber eyes burn as they stare into those blue eyes that are watching him carefully. "Humans do this a lot. I don't know if you'll like it so...just tell me if anything I do makes you feel uncomfortable-"

"I'll be fine. Stop with that look." Killua leans up just to bite Gon's nose, getting him to wince and pull away. "Every time you make that face, i'm going to bite it. There's nothing to feel bad about. You love me and I want this. If you don't do something, I'm going to end up hurting you. I'm not playing Gon." Killua points down, Gon follows his finger with his eyes, rubbing his nose. He averts his gaze quickly when he sees what Killua is talking about. The young boy is completely hard, his erection pointing at him, the tip pink and swollen. Killua's dick is cute. It's not super huge nor small and it's pale like the rest of his body, if only a little darker.

Gon gets his warning, he gets how those eyes get a little strange and how Gon feels uneasy. Killua might not be able to control himself if he doesn't help him with his problem. Gon's not sure how he would feel about Killua taking him. He doubts Killua knows how to do it so it doesn't hurt. Gon needs to take action. He can't feel guilty when Killua wants this so much.

"I'm going to take care of it." Gon gets on his knees, moving closer so he can cup Killua's cheeks. The boy's pupils focus on him and dilate. He takes a deep breath, his hands gripping at the blanket. " Just let me...touch you a little bit." Gon strokes Killua's cheek with his thumb, never losing that eye contact in till Killua averts his gaze, his cheeks flushing.

"Yeah, yeah. Do what you want." Killua closes his eyes, leaning into the touch when Gon drags his fingers up his cheeks and into his hair. Those silky locks get between his fingers, sticking up on his head. His hair feels thicker than you would imagine.

"So soft." Gon mumbles to himself as he rubs the top of his head. He touches the ears twitching on Killua's head lightly. He softly strokes them before closing his hand around the cat ears.

Killua's eyebrow twitches so Gon lets go of his ears and his face relaxes. Gon cups his cheeks again, rubbing his thumb over his lips. Killua opens his eyes, those big blue orbs focusing on him. "Killua you're beautiful." Gon breathes out, taking in those long eyelashes and those sharp eyes, and his soft facial features.

"You don't have to say that." Killua's eyes light up. He turns his head quickly, his ears perking up. His blush has reached his neck.

"I can't help it. You are." Gon chuckles at how cute Killua is all flustered. He can be all embarrassed about something like this but not embarrassed to boldly state he wants to mate. Gon touches those soft pink lips once more and he gets curious. "Killua open your mouth."

Killua glances at him before he turns his head back and opens it. Gon reaches in, touching the tips of his canines, feeling how sharp they are. All his teeth are sharp. Gon touches Killua's tongue, it's rough, like sandpaper. Maybe it's weird for him to just want to feel in Killua's mouth but Gon wants to feel all of Killua and look at everything that he didn't allow himself to before.

"Your teeth are really sharp." Gon pulls his fingers out, wiping them off on his sheets.

"Of course. What did you expect?" Killua raises his eyebrow. Gon notices that Killua is staring at his lips now. "Aren't your teeth sharp?" Killua lowly reaches out towards Gon's face, holding out a finger close to Gon's lips. He opens his mouth, despite how sharp Killua's nails look, and lets Killua put his finger in. He feels on his teeth, then his tongue, and the side of his cheek. "Not that sharp at all. Humans barely have any natural defenses."

Gon closes his mouth around the finger, licking the digit and sucking lightly. He's not sure why but he just felt like doing it. Killua watches him do this, those pupils get bigger. "It feels strange...what are you doing?"

"You don't like it?" Gon pulls his finger out, those amber eyes watching how Killua's ears go back when he stopped.

"I mean...I didn't say I didn't like it. You're mouth is soft. Just be mindful of my nail." Killua's ears flatten when he puts his hand down.

"I'm not done Killua." Gon touches Killua's lips again. Killua opens them only for Gon to lean in and stick his tongue inside. The boy purrs, his rough tongue rubbing against his. He sucks on Killua's lower lip before trailing his tongue over those sharp canines. The boy leans into him, tilting his head back, grabbing the sheets harder.

When Gon pulls away, the younger one is panting, his ears flattened. Those blue eyes are glazed over and his lips are red.

"...C-Can we do those things now?" Killua licks his lips, those orbs half lidded. His body is so hot to the touch. His voice is husky and strained. Gon isn't ready though. He's not done exploring.

"Not yet." Gon scratches behind Killua's ear, trying to calm him down. He purrs and he closes his eyes, tilting his head back to lean into it. The action exposes his pale, delicate neck. Gon drags one of his fingers down Killua's chin, noticing the lack of facial hair he has, and down his sensitive skin. Gon hesitates before he moves up, sitting down on Killua's thighs so he can get closer.

Killua looks at him when he stops scratching his ears, raising his eyebrow. " Turn your head to the side please." Killua stares at him a moment before doing it. Gon moves his white locks out of the way so he can lean in and kiss at his neck softly. The boy makes a sound. It doesn't sound unpleasant so Gon continues to leave kisses on the sensitive skin, licking up his neck and sucking right below his jaw. Killua makes another sound in the back of his throat, something between a gasp and a whine, his hands are gripping his shoulder now. His breathing has picked up pace, his body arching into him, Gon can feel his hardness rub against his stomach.

Gon holds his hips down to stop him, licking up his neck once more, liking the sounds Killua makes. He pulls away and his stomach tightens when he sees that expression on the boy's face. Those eyes are glossy now, his chest heaving up and down. "You like that?"

"Yeah...felt good." Killua locks eyes with him. "It feels good but...I need more."

"I know. Just bare with me." Gon can feel his own face get hotter as he drags his hand down Killua's neck to touch his collar bone. He trails his finger tips down his chest, down a nipple and further down to touch the creases of his abs. Killua's muscles are tensing with every touch and as he gets lower he can't help to see his twitching cock.

Gon should go faster. But he doesn't want to.

"Gon I can't-" Killua's eyes widen when Gon leans in, biting into his shoulder. His back arches when Gon starts to suck and lick, Gon wrapping an arm around his waist to pull him closer. Killua bites his knuckles when Gon sucks on his collar bone.

"Killua stop that. I want to hear you." Gon stops, grabbing Killua's wrist to pull his hand away from his mouth. Killua's ears go back, those blue eyes staring at him intently.

"I don't want to hear myself-"

"I like it." Gon kisses Killua's chest softly. Killua lifts his hand up to bite his knuckle- he stops. He seems to think about it before he puts his hand back down and grips the sheets. Whimpering when Gon flicks his tongue over a erect pink bud. Gon kisses down to the top of his abs, licking over the taut muscle before pulling away.

Gon grabs Killua's hand and kisses the back of it, staring into those blue eyes that are watching him so closely. Like they always are. There's a certain light in those blue eyes that gets Gon's heart racing.

"You're very gentle." Killua licks his lips when Gon kisses his palm before placing two of his fingers in his mouth. He sucks on them, licking between the digits, getting the boy to sigh. "So many kisses and licks...you don't have to be this gentle. I can handle you being rough." Killua smirks. Gon pulls his fingers out of his mouth and smiles, that smirk being wiped off Killua's face.

"I want to be gentle with you. I'm enjoying myself. I like giving you kisses and making you feel good. I love you Killua." Gon watches as Killua's face gets tomato red.

"Geez, I know." Killua grumbles, looking away quickly, hiding his face from him. Gon chuckles.

"Killua you're so cute-"

"Fuck off with that. Stop taking your sweet time." Killua growls but it's not harsh. It reminds Gon of a kitten trying to hiss.

"Do you not like it?" Gon moves down so he can start rubbing on Killua's smooth thighs almost moaning from finally being able to touch them. They're as soft as he imagined... "Do you want me to stop-"

"No. I like it." Killua says quickly, his demeanor changing when Gon stopped touching his thighs. "Gon-"He calms down when Gon starts to touch his thighs again and he sighs. "Gon seriously..." Killua tilts his head back, his voice so strained. It gets Gon's own arousal to twitch and he knows he needs to do something.

"Okay. I'll take care of it now." Gon moves down his body, spreading Killua's legs so he can kneel between them. He gets himself comfortable, between his legs, looking up at Killua who is staring at him with half lidded eyes. He licks his lips when Gon grabs his erection firmly but when Gon opens his mouth and lowers his head, Killua's eyes widen.

"Don't bite me!" Killua grabs his hair and yanks him back, his pupils constricted. There's a bead of sweat falling down his face and his flush has left him. Gon's eyes widen and when those amber eyes lock with blue...Killua's eyes go back to normal and he frowns deeply. "I-I didn't mean to-"

"It's okay Killua. If you don't want me doing it I won't-"

"N-No I'm fine! I want you to do it! I...I don't know why I reacted like that." Killua lets go of Gon's hair. "...I know you won't hurt me."

Gon feels a anger bubble up inside him. He takes a deep breath, trying not to show it. For Killua to react like that, he can only imagine those sick men must have hurt him that way. Did they bite him? Instead of asking Killua that, he locks eyes with Killua, seeing how those blue eyes don't look scared anymore. There's a tinge of guilt, those eyes searching his expression.

Gon smiles gently. "It's okay Killua." Gon rubs his thighs. "I won't hurt you. I will only continue if you want me to."

"...I do. I won't freak out this time." Killua gets this determined look. Gon stares at it a moment before he leans down and kisses at his thighs. He'll work up to it again. Killua leans back, spreading his legs as Gon licks up his inner thigh. Soon that flush and the hardness he had lost comes back.

"I'm going to lick you." Gon grabs his erection. He doesn't lose eye contact as he starts to lick up the swollen shaft. Killua watches him intently, his breathing uneven as Gon licks from the base to the tip attentively. Killua's lips twitch and he grips into the bed, that flush spreading to his neck. He makes a sound and thrusts his hips up when Gon had licked the slit of his sensitive head.

"...F-Feels good."Killua mews when Gon licks from base to tip again, his toes curling when he licks that slit again.

"I won't bite you. I'm not going to hurt you." Gon repeats, watching as Killua nods his head quickly, those blue eyes never looking away. Gon inhales through his nose before he opens his mouth, pushing the tip pass his lips.

"Oh..." Killua leans his head back. He moans when Gon swirls his tongue around the head, sucking lightly. Gon looks up and when he sees no fear, but Killua's lips parted, and his chest heaving, he knows he's good to keep going. He pauses before he pushes down, swallowing up about half of his cock. "A-Ah...Shit." Killua's toes curl when Gon goes as far as he can go, only a bit left. If he goes farther, he gags. So Gon just sucks what he can, licking everywhere as he does so, being encouraged by the moans the younger is making and how he's gripping his hair now. Gon thought this would be simple but it's a bit harder than he expected. Though Killua is vocal, Gon isn't sure if he's close.

He picks up the pace, rubbing Killua's inner thighs, going as far as he can. His head is hitting the back of his throat roughly and the more he licks and sucks, the more vocal Killua becomes.

"It's building..." Killua whispers, his back arching. "Gon...ah Gon..." Killua thrusts into his mouth causing Gon to gag but he doesn't pull away, he just pushes deeper. He goes as fast as he can, feeling how Killua's thighs are trembling and are slick with sweat. Gon pulls up to the tip, swirling his tongue around the head, locking his eyes with Killua.

That seems to have done it.

Killua's breath hitches, his eyes closing tightly and he throws his head back. His ears flatten, a sound dangerously close to a cats meow leaving his lips as he cums in Gon's mouth. It taste bad but most of it spurts to the back of his throat so it's easy to swallow. Gon licks up as much as he can before he pulls away, moving away from Killua. His heart is beating so fast in his chest, his own arousal painful but he doesn't focus on that.

"Wow..." Killua sighs, licking his lips. His muscles are all relaxed, his blue eyes darken and half lidded. Such a nice flush on his skin. His hair is all over the place, his ears staying half way down. "That felt good." Killua slowly locks eyes with Gon. "...I never thought I would like something like that but...everything with you feels good." Killua mumbles, those eyes being honest for once.

"I'm glad you liked it." Gon is really liking that expression right now. He looks so relaxed. Gon was able to do that for him.

"What do you call that?" Killua's tired blue eyes watch as Gon touches his chest, lightly stroking him. Gon can hear his purring has increased.

"It's um...called a blow job." Gon flushes. It's sounds so dirty when he says that. It didn't feel dirty while he was doing it. It was passionate. All he was aware of was Killua's warmth and the sounds he was making. "It's something humans do to their partners or to someone they want to make feel good."

"Why is it called a blow job? You weren't blowing on me." Killua's ear twitches, those blue eyes getting glossy. "I don't think those fucks wanted to make me feel good. I know you wanted to though. A blow job...I never thought I'd say this but I like it."

"I don't know why it's called a blow job. Maybe because your cheeks puff up..." Gon shakes his head. "I liked doing it." Gon's heart rate increases when Killua moves over, laying his head on his arm, nuzzling it.

"Mmm." Killua licks his arm, the rough texture doesn't bother Gon. "Now it's my turn. That's starting to look painful." Killua eyes Gon's arousal. Gon swallows when Killua pushes him down, getting on top of him. He scoots down, his mouth opening and all Gon can see are those sharp, very sharp teeth-

"W-Wait!" Gon cups Killua's cheeks, stopping him from what he was about to do. Killua blinks, raising his eyebrow at him.

"Wait? Why wait? I know how to do it. You just demonstrated-"

"Your...your mouth might hurt. Just from touching your teeth lightly I cut myself a bit. Also your tongue..." That's one of the reasons Gon doesn't want Killua returning the favor right at this moment. It's true that Gon would love having Killua do that to him...if he didn't have razor sharp teeth and if Gon didn't have that twisting feeling starting up in his stomach again. Pleasuring Killua is one thing, but it seems he's still hesitant about letting Killua pleasure him.

"My mouth?" Killua seems to consider this before he puts his finger in his mouth, touching his teeth and tongue. He winces. "I suppose it is inadequate for a blow job...Your mouth is much softer..." Killua's eyebrows furrow, his tail flicking behind him. "Maybe I can change my mouth?...If I really focus on it-"

"D-Don't worry about it Killua." Gon smiles, rubbing Killua's head, those tired eyes get half lidded again and he purrs.

"If I can't give you a blow job then use me. How you smell is really affecting me..." Killua's tail brushes against Gon's thigh, those blue eyes get a bit darker.

"I don't want to mate right now...I'm...not ready for it." Gon feels stupid saying that. His body is definitively ready and Killua can sense that. His heart is ready. But his mind is still messing with him. He wouldn't be able to fully enjoy it right now. They just have to work up to it. Gon was able to pleasure Killua and not feel an ounce bad about it. Even though Gon wasn't being touched, it was almost like it felt good to him. He liked it a lot. And seeing how relaxed Killua was afterwards...Gon couldn't feel bad.

"You smell ready-" Killua's pupils get bigger when he sees how Gon glances away from him. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. "..You're not ready. I can wait. But we need to take care of that. Is there something else I can do to make you feel like I just did?" Those blue eyes are honest again. Gon feels like Killua isn't always going to be like this. Right now, Killua doesn't know much about foreplay but if Gon were to teach him...he feels like he'd be creating a monster. Gon wouldn't be able to resist him.

"I'll take care of it. You don't have to-"

"I want to." Killua hisses at him, those blue eyes narrowing and his ears going back. "Show me how you're going to take care of it."

Gon flushes darkly. Killua isn't going to leave him alone. Those blue eyes are getting darker and those pupils blown out like he's about to attack him. Gon sighs...the headache doesn't make him strong. He's not strong right now against Killua anyway. Gon turns over , bending over the bed to search under it. To his relief, the bag that Leorio had made him is under the bed. Hisoka must have put it back. Gon digs in it to pull out the lube, his eyes widening slightly when he feels those soft finger tips on his ass.

"Gon..." Killua's voice is deeper, and it makes him shiver when he trails one of those sharp nails up his spine. "Is this an invitation to take you?"

"N-No." Gon swallows, sitting up quickly. The first thing he sees is Killua's eyes that look more like just his pupils now. "It's uh...I needed this." Gon shows him the lube,and those pupils get smaller, honing in on the bottle.

"What is that for?" Killua sniffles it, grabbing the bottle to read it. "...'slippery fun'?"

"Yeah..." Gon takes the bottle quickly, his face getting really hot. "It's...It's...it helps make mating and such easier." Gon averts his gaze as he squirts some into his hand. "And maybe we could try you...on top first."

"No." Killua's ears go back. "It hurts. I don't want to hurt you-"

"Well... I mean...Kurapika told me it doesn't always hurt..."Gon frowns. "He says there's ways to not make it hurt so...I don't know. We'll get to that-"

"You're going to take me first." Killua gives him this firm look. He stops when he sees how Gon slicks up his member, stroking himself. Gon averts his gaze.

"I can't take too long...poor Alluka is still in the bathroom-" Gon tenses when Killua stops him and wraps his own fingers around his length. Gon can't help the breathy moan that leaves his lips, or how his heart rate increases. "K-Killua I can-"

"Just this?" Killua tightens his grip, moving it up and down slowly, watching how Gon's face gets redder. His ears twitch with every moan he makes, this pale skin getting flushed again.

This isn't one of Gon's proud moments. All it takes is for Gon to open his eyes, seeing that hungry look on Killua's face and for him to stroke him just a tiny bit more before Gon cums. His seed spurts all in Killua's hand and on his stomach. "That was fast!" Killua's eyes widen. "There was a lot."

"...Y-Yeah." Gon feels like curling up under the covers again. It's just...with doing all these stuff with Killua and having him as a mate and Killua touching him it just...it was way too much. Gon didn't stand a chance. "...You worked me up a lot Killua. I'm not usually that fast."

"It was because of me?" Killua's eyes light up and he grins. "I barely touched you-"

"Yes i'm aware." Gon's blush reaches his ear. "Don't tease me Killua."

"No, it's good." Killua's grin doesn't leave him as he leans down and starts licking his semen off of his stomach. "It just reassures me that you're really into me as a mate."

"Don't lick it Killua. I'll clean it off-"

"I want to taste you. You swallowed me. I want to swallow you." Killua licks all of it up, his ears twitching as he pulls away, licking his lips. "...Salty. It doesn't taste very good."

"I told you not to lick it." Gon sighs, his face warm again. "I'm going to take a shower-"

"Let's bathe together." Killua's tail waves behind him, watching as Gon gets up and walks over to his dresser.

"Maybe some other time." Gon swallows at the thought. It really is tempting. But if he doesn't control himself now, he's going to spend all day touching Killua. They need to be doing Christmas things!

"Ugh." Killua watches Gon put some boxers on before he glances over at the door. "Hey sis! You can come out now. We're done."

"Okay!" Alluka comes out, this bright look in her eyes. This 12 year old girl is bouncing up and down, staring at Gon like she just found Santa. "Did you mate?" Gon chokes a little but Killua is there to answer for him. Much to his dismay.  
"No but we did do some other mate things." Killua grins, those blue eyes proud.

"U-Um Killua-"

The door that was locked is suddenly banged down, Hisoka's yellow eyes gleaming. "Did you have fun little one?~"

"What the hell Hisoka! You just broke Gon's door!" Killua hisses, his ears going back.

"H-Hisoka..." Gon is feeling overwhelmed right now. More than before.

"I got lonely." He pouts before he smirks. " I didn't hear any thumping. I'm sure you didn't even mate." Hisoka snorts.

"Gon and big brother are mates! They did mate things!" Alluka glares at Hisoka, putt her hands on her hips.

"Yeah." Killua agrees, he grins, his canines are showing. "Gon is my mate. He gave me a blowjob! It's something humans do-"

"Ahhh!" Gon grabs his hair, the three cat like humans staring at him with their ears perked up. "Killua! Don't just tell people that! Especially not your little sister!"

"Why not? I want them to know that you are my mate. Hisoka can't try to claim you anymore." Killua hisses at Hisoka who just smiles at him.  
"It's n-not something you should go around telling people! I mean...We should just keep it to ourselves. To humans, most of the time, it's a private thing."

"Gon you gave Killua a blowjob?~ I bet that felt great didn't it Killua." Hisoka purrs.

"A private thing? But..." Killua's eyebrows furrow. He glares at Hisoka before glancing at Gon. "Hisoka needs to know to back off."

"Hey I want to know! Big brother looked so happy!" Alluka pouts. "I want to know what big brother and Gon do!"

"Yeah but...but..." Gon looks between the three but they all stare at him with those strange eyes. They don't get it. Is this a cat thing? That they have to express what they've done with their mates? Killua doesn't seem shy to go around and tell his sister about receiving a blowjob so...maybe this is normal for them? Gon is so flustered. "Alluka you're so young! You shouldn't tell your little sister about...these things-"

"Why not? Big brother tells me everything that's good." Alluka's ears flatten. "Gon do you not like me?"

"What? No! I love you Alluka! I'ts just...it's not..." Alluka is giving him those big blue eyes. She doesn't understand. Killua seems to be getting restless too. Gon sighs. "...I...just...okay. Just..." Gon doesn't even know what to say. He's stuttering mess.

"Why can't Alluka know? She will not tell anyone else and Hisoka doesn't have any friends-"

"Ow...my heart."

"-Also I need to stake my claim on you or Hisoka won't get the picture."

"Oh I get the picture~"  
"I know she won't tell anyone else it's just..." Gon rubs his forehead, his headache is worse now. "...Just don't go into detail. That's all I ask."

"I won't go into detail." Killua nods his head, those ears twitching on top of his head.

"I'm going to take a shower-" Killua runs up to him and kisses him on the lips. Just a peck. He pulls away and grins at him.

"I'll make you something to eat." Killua leans in, those eyes slant. Gon is starting to feel like the prey now. "I expect more affection out of you. You need to make it up to me for worrying me so much yesterday." Killua nuzzles his head against his cheek before licking at the corner of his mouth. "I'm hard to satisfy when it comes to you." He pulls away and walks off, grabbing his sister's hand and pulling her along. He pushes Hisoka out of the room and starts yelling at him about the door and something else.

Gon is still standing there, his heart racing and his body feeling too hot. Gon was right. He has awoken up a monster. Gon is more than happy to give Killua all the affection he wants but...the way those words were spoken, and that look in his eyes...Killua was trying to do more to him then just get his point across.

Bye hot shower, hello cold shower.

* * *

"You're going to fix Gon's door." Killua snarls once he gets Hisoka back into the living room, baring his teeth at him. He can feel his pupils get longer. "And you're going to stay out of Gon's room."

"Ohh you're getting even more territorial now that Gon is your mate." Hisoka tail flicks behind him and he smirks. "Now how on earth am I going to fix his door?"

"Look it up on the internet." Killua grunts. "You're not going to be around Gon while he's asleep-"

"It would drive you mad to smell my scent on Gon now wouldn't it? This is where it gets interesting." Hisoka's smirk is sinister.

"You're not going to rub on Gon at all." Killua's stomach clenches at the thought and he bares his teeth at Hisoka, the older man hissing in response.

"You're no alpha Killua. We both know I could kill you if I wanted to-"

"Don't underestimate me." Killua's eyes narrow. "We all know you were my brother's bitch."

"That's mean. Bringing up Illumi...Ohh wouldn't it be so much funner if he was here? I miss him~" Hisoka's tail flicks, those yellow eyes lighting up.

"Ha! Yeah right. My brother would try to kill Gon. You can keep that thought to yourself." Killua marches over to the kitchen so he doesn't try to kill Hisoka and ruin Gon's house again. He gets some things out to make Gon his breakfast. When he sees the window is closed, he remembers something. "That reminds me. What were you doing outside last night?"

"Hm? Oh I just got bored. You know me."

"When you're bored, you do things that are harmful and annoying to entertain yourself. So what were you doing last night?" Killua keeps working on his food preparation. Alluka has laid down in the kitchen. She's humming to herself as she works on a blank piece of paper, drawing something.  
"I messed with a few humans. No worries. They won't try to find me." Hisoka chuckles darkly.

"You killed some humans." Killua's ears go back. "If there's deaths around here, the lab will get suspicious and search here more! Don't do shit like that-"

"I deposed of their bodies. They were homeless. It won't be on the news." Hisoka shrugs his shoulders. "As I said, don't worry. I'm not done with my fun here yet."

"..." Killua glares at the food he's making. It's not like he can really say anything. Hisoka is like him. He gets those urges to just kill. Hisoka's blood lust is crazier than his though. Killua has gone awhile without killing a human. He thinks he may have killed that guy last night but now that his mind is clearer, he's not sure if he got to finish the blow. Gon stopped him.

Gon wouldn't like it if he killed humans. Even though Killua feels that itching in his fingers...he'll ignore it. He won't kill anyone if it upsets Gon. He'll only kill when he needs to or when he can't control it.

"...What? No I'm fine Kurapika. I'm sorry I...yes that was Killua..." Gon walks into the living room, taking on the phone, fully dressed. Killua is just getting his food on a plate. His ears perk up at his name and he turns to look at him. His mate looks a little distressed. "...No he doesn't' always dress like that...He was a little angry I stayed out late. We're okay...wait what?" Gon's eyebrows furrow. "...Allan's in the hospital? Someone attacked him? At the party?" Gon frowns deeply. "N-No I didn't see anything like that. I can't remember much from last night to be honest with you. Is he going to be okay?"

Killua pours Gon a drink before walking over to the table and placing it down. Gon notices and walks over to take a seat. He runs a hand through his thick dark hair, something Killua has noticed he does when he's anxious. Killua doesn't know who Allan is but if he got sent to the hospital, there's a good chance Allan's the one he wanted to kill last night. If Gon doesn't remember, his lips are sealed. His mate would probably be angry with him. The guy had it coming though.

"...At least they say he'll be okay. I wonder what happened. I can't remember if I saw Allan at the party last night. Do you remember?...oh okay." Gon sighs, rubbing the back of his head. "Ah Leorio...I know you guys want to meet him but...Killua is a good guy. You can take my word for it-" Killua feels that warm feeling inside, his tail waving behind him. "Can we talk about this some other time? My head hurts. Yes...okay." Gon pushes a button, placing his phone down before sighing deeply.

"Uh my head..." Gon starts to eat his cereal, looking over at Killua who has taken his seat next to him, watching him with those big blue eyes. "You didn't tell me you ran into Leorio and Kurapika."

"Yeah. I didn't know where you were. They were the first people I saw." Killua crosses his arms. "I called Kurapika to find out where you went. The weird thing is that he already knew who I was. Did you tell them about me?"

"No.. I mean, sort of." Gon keeps eating. "I talked about you to them but I told them you were a 16 year old boy. They don't know about you being a experiment or that you're my cat Killua. They think cat Killua was given by boy Killua."

"Okay..." Killua's ears twitch. "Why were you talking about me as a boy? What were you saying to them?" Killua raises his eyebrow.

"Just...stuff." Gon flushes. "They're the ones who talked me into...following my heart instead of letting my feelings of guilt hold me back. I was really getting myself down about it."

"...so they approve of our relationship?"

"I think so. Because you make me happy. They want me happy." Gon smiles to himself, eating more of his food. Killua's blue eyes soften. Maybe Leorio and Kurapika aren't so bad after all. Maybe. He still doesn't like them but he can tolerate them if they have his mate's best interest in mind. "They said you were rude to them and that you were dressed like you were going to rob the place. They want to meet you again but I don't know if that's possible."

"...I could just wear those clothes again. They hide my ears and tail well." Killua shrugs. "I don't like these people but I could hear on the phone that guys concern. He's not going to leave this alone. I was rude because I didn't want to deal with them when I was looking for you. You're my top priority."

"...I do want them to really meet you but..." Gon bites his lip. "...I do have a hat you could use...and then you could wear a better outfit but...it's risky."

"Do what you want." Killua's tail flicks when Gon's expression turns bad again. "What?"

"They also told me that one of my class mates is in the hospital. Apparently he was attacked last night. I don't remember seeing him. I shouldn't have drank so much last night." Gon sighs before he looks over at Killua. "Do you remember seeing a guy that has a mole on his cheek? Brown hair? Blue eyes?"

Killua did see him. He attacked him too. "I didn't see a guy like that. I told you, I was focused on finding you." Killua snorts. "Don't worry about him." Killua waves his hand in the air when he sees that displeased look on Gon's face. "He's at the hospital. The doctors will take care of him." Though Killua thought he had killed him last night. The human got lucky.

"I suppose. I just hope he's going to be alright." Gon finishes up his food. He blinks when Killua takes the plate from him and takes it to the sink, getting to washing it. "Thank you Killua." Gon gets up, those amber eyes lighting up when Killua turns on him and hugs him tightly, nuzzling his head.

"I told you to stop thanking me. I'm just taking care of my mate." Killua mumbles, a soft blush spreading on his cheeks. His heart is thudding in his chest.

"Yay!" Alluka claps, those blue eyes lighting up. She's laying on the floor, messing with the mouse Gon had gotten Killua awhile ago.

Hisoka chuckles darkly, getting everyone to look over at him. He's sitting on the couch, his head tilted back at a odd angle, this large smile on his face. "It's cute. It's really cute. I like this, I do. I think it's about to get a lot funner."

"What are you talking about?" Killua narrows his eyes, getting in front of Gon protectively when Hisoka stands up and walks towards them.

Hisoka stops a few feet from them. Alluka has stood up, her tail puffed up, her pupils getting bigger. Killua is the same. They're both on edge. This smell...this feeling...

"What's going on?" Gon frowns, noticing this. "Hisoka what are you doing?" Killua doesn't have to look. He can feel the shift in Gon as well when he gets a look at how Hisoka's yellow eyes gleam, his pupils getting longer. His nails have gotten longer, sharper. The smile on his face is sinister. Gon is now on high alert. Killua can hear how his heart rate has spiked and smell he's started to sweat.

"Hisoka back the fuck up." Killua hisses, his ears going back in warning. He can feel the blood pooling in his muscles and all his hairs picking up. His body is getting ready for a fight.

"Happy endings are overrated don't you think?" Hisoka pokes his hip out, those strange yellow eyes get darker when they lock on Gon.

"Hisoka stop whatever you're doing. Lets all chill out and...do some Christmas stuff together. There's no reason for this-"

Hisoka's yellow eyes suddenly snap over to the left, locking on Alluka. Killua catches this and he's just as quick. He gets in front of his sister right when Hisoka is on her. The younger growls, his nails growing longer. He jabs, aiming for his heart but Hisoka is fast. He ends up cutting him good on his arm, slicing him right to the bone.

"Hisoka what are you doing?!" Gon rushes over towards them, only then does Killua realize he made a grave mistake. Hisoka's lips twist just as it dawns on Killua.

"Gon don't!" Killua jumps towards Gon to protect him but Hisoka is closer. Killua's throat tightens when Hisoka grabs Gon by the throat, throwing his body down easily so he's on his back. Killua feels his eyes darken and his breathing come in uneven puffs as he jumps in the air, ready to slice his fucking head off-

"Come closer and i'll kill him." Hisoka's voice is laced with his amusement, his joy. Killua's eyes flash, noticing that crazed look in his eyes. He falls down, keeping completely still, his ears flattening when he sees his mate is struggling against his hold but he's helpless to get away from Hisoka. Killua's pupils get big and tremble, his tail flicking behind him. His chest is hurting.

"Hisoka. Let him go." Killua keeps his voice even. He doesn't let it tremble.

"Leave Gon alone!" Alluka cries, gripping her fists, those blue eyes lighting up in anger.

"Hisoka let go." Gon glares darkly up at Hisoka, those amber eyes defiant. If Killua wasn't terrified right now, he would be admiring his mate for how brave he is. He's sure he can sense how dire this situation is. "What has gotten into you-gh." Gon's face scrunches up in discomfort when Hisoka tightens his grip on his neck. Killua feels a panic when Gon's cheeks start to get flushed and he fails his feet around, grabbing Hisoka's hand, trying to pull him away. He can't breathe. He's killing him.

"Hisoka fucking stop-" Killua screams, that panic getting him to sweat and his face to get flushed. His ears won't stop moving. He wants to kill him. He wants to _kill_ him. Hisoka loosens his hold and Gon is able to breathe again, sputtering and coughing. Killua grinds his teeth. "Get your hands off of him-"

"Let's play a game." Hisoka hums. "I want to see what happens." Hisoka chuckles darkly, touching Gon's cheek with his other hand. "It's so nice. You got yourself a mate. Everything seems to be going just right for you Killua so...I'll give you a choice." Hisoka smirks over at Killua, those yellow eyes no longer look human. They are clouded in his blood lust and hidden insanity. "Kill your sister or I kill Gon."

Time stands still. When those words leave Hisoka's lips, the air between them gets silent. All Killua can hear is his own breathing and the beating of his heart in his ears. Killua doesn't need to ask. Hisoka is serious. Those yellow eyes are watching him with amusement but Killua has been around him to know when he's in one of those moods. Killua's stomach twists and he wonders if for the first time in his life, he's going to be sick.

"W-What? What are you saying Hisoka!Stop this now!" Gon thrashes in Hisoka's hold, glaring darkly up at this man who just grins at him. Gon shutters but his glare doesn't soften. Those amber eyes don't lose that fire. "No one is killing anyone!" Gon looks over at Killua, a deep frown coming to him when he sees how Killua is staring at the ground, those blue eyes trembling. "Killua don't do anything-"

"I want blood." Hisoka purrs. "It's either going to be your mate's blood or your sister's blood. It's beautiful isn't it? You were so happy just a minute ago. So what is it going to be? Your beloved Gon, or beloved Alluka. I wonder who you love more?"

Killua takes a step towards Hisoka. He swallows when Hisoka hisses, those yellow eyes watching him carefully. He can't attack him without risking Gon's death. He's trapped. Killua can't kill his sister. He can't. But he can't lose Gon either.

When it comes down to it, what action can he take that he'll be able to live with? No matter what happens, Killua is killing Hisoka but that won't give him back the person he lost.  
"B-Big brother?" Alluka is scared. Killua can hear it in her voice, especially when he looks at her with his darken eyes. "Why are you l-looking at me like that?" She knows. She knows she's in danger. Her ears have flattened and her face has gotten pale. Killua's fingers twitch...He can't. He can't hurt her.

"Killua don't hurt your sister!" Killua's eyes widen and he looks over at Gon who is glaring at him. "Don't even think about it. Family is all you have in this world..." Those amber eyes are glossed over. "Don't let her down..."

"Gon he's going to kill you." Killua's voice trembles. "Don't you get it you idiot-"

"I don't care!" Gon's voice is steady as he glares up at Hisoka who's smile hasn't fallen from his face. "You have your sister. Don't ever let go of her. If you killed her, you would regret it for the rest of your life. The memory of her would haunt you and make you wish that..." Gon shake his head.

"I'll count to 3. If you don't kill your sister, by the time I get to three, Gon will be dead." Hisoka licks his lips, loving how Killua's whole body tenses up.

"Don't kill him. What do you want? I'll do whatever you want-" Killua is getting desperate. His heart is becoming painful for him.

"I told you what I want Killua. I want blood." Hisoka purrs. "Begging will get you no where with monsters. Do you think I would feel pity for you? One..."

"H-Hisoka fucking stop! I can't kill my sister! I'll kill anyone else. Not Gon, and not Alluka. Have you lost it?" Killua's muscles tense. He's hyperventilating at this point. He can't believe that Gon looks so calm. He's staring at Hisoka, staring at the face of death as if he's preparing to sleep. There's that defiance but there's also an acceptance.

"Two..." Hisoka tightens his grip on Gon's neck. His face gets red and he kicks. He can't breathe. Those amber eyes get bright with fright. His weak body thrashing as much as it can. He's no match for Hisoka. He can't get away. He's dying. Hisoka is going to kill him if Killua doesn't act. Killua glances over at his sister, his tail flicking as the idea crosses his mind, to just do it quickly. But when he sees those blue eyes, they snap him out of his crazed idea and makes him cry out.

"Hisoka don't!-" He screams.

"Three." Hisoka breathes out before stabbing his hand down. Killua doesn't breathe...not till he sees that Hisoka didn't stab into Gon's' heart where he was aiming. No. He moved his hand and it stabbed into the floor. That strange look leaves Hisoka's eyes and he lets go of Gon's neck. The man cough, holding his neck, trying to gain his breath.

Killua's heart slows down, watching Gon with big eyes, his body feeling more restless. Hisoka chuckles. "...You won't be able to beat them if you can't become a monster. You'll do anything but kill Gon and Alluka. You said it yourself. You will always be a tool. I thought I would see something interesting but as expected, you did nothing. I suppose you don't love Gon as much as you think you do." Hisoka smirks over at Killua who is still staring at him with his eyes wide.

"That isn't true..." Killua says quietly. It's like the wind has been taken right out of him. " What kind of joke is this? Do you think I won't kill you for this?" There's this feeling of dread that is building.

"I've stayed here long enough. I've had my fun. But I have to say Killua...there was a moment you considered killing your sister." Hisoka purrs. Killua averts his gaze. "Ah yes. That was a surprise. For a moment I thought you would have done it. But you didn't. You froze up. This won't end well for you."

Killua is shocked at himself. He did consider it. He thought about killing his sister. What kind of brother is he? He just met Gon and he was weighing his life above hers. Maybe it's because they've just become mates but...he knows it's more than that. Gon makes him do crazy things. All he wants to do is protect him.

"Killua are you okay?" Killua blinks. A sharp pain in his head as he turns his head, looking over at Gon who is still sitting at the kitchen table? Those amber eyes are looking at him in concern. "You just spaced out there. You're sweating a lot...is something wrong?" Gon touches his face. Killua looks over and sees his sister is still on the floor playing with the mouse. Those blue eyes slide over. Hisoka is sitting on the couch watching TV. Killua looks at Gon's neck...there's no marks on him. No sign of a struggle. Hisoka isn't cut on his arm either.

"I-I...I'm..." Killua swallows thickly when Gon keeps touching his face.

"You're burning up Killua. ...you look so scared.." Gon cups his face, looking deep into his eyes. "What happened?"

"Is big brother okay?" Alluka's ears twitch when she senses the change. She gets up and walks over to the two, her blue eyes big. Killua's stomach twists. What is this? Some kind of sick joke?

"Did...Did Hisoka attack you?" Killua gets out. Hisoka's ears twitch and he looks over at him. His face is blank before his lips slowly twist up.

"No Killua. Hisoka has been just watching TV." Gon rubs his hands through Killua's hair. He leans into the touch before he hugs him tightly. Taking in his scent and pulse. He's okay. He's not injured. Whatever that was, it didn't happen. It couldn't have happened. "Were you dreaming somehow?"

"I don't know..." Killua nuzzles him before he pulls his sister in, nuzzling her. "I'm sorry Alluka."

"Sorry for what?" Alluka's ears twitch but she nuzzles back.

"For being a bad big brother."

"What are you saying? You're the best big brother!" Alluka pulls away, giving him this bright smile. Killua feels his stomach twist.

He had thought about killing her.

"That's right. Whatever you saw Killua, it wasn't real." Gon scratches behind Killua's ear, getting him to sigh and lean into his chest. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No. I'd rather forget about it." Killua licks at Gon's cheek before kissing him. Loving how Gon responds to him so honestly, those lips parting. Gon's taste and breathing calms him down. When Gon wraps his arms around him and strokes his shoulders, Killua completely calms. That didn't happen. IT was like a dream or something. It's fine. The thoughts don't' matter. He wouldn't kill his sister. Gon isn't in danger.

It's okay.

"Lets do something fun." Gon smiles, pulling away from Killua to stand up. "Lets see if there's any good Christmas movies to watch."

"Yay! Oh Gon I have pictures to show you!" Alluka cheers, running off to get them.

"I can't wait." Gon smiles gently, Killua's heart skipping a beat when he grabs his hand and leads him into the living room. Killua can hear himself purring just from the touch. Gon affects him too greatly. They both sit down next to Hisoka, Killua making sure he's between the two. His hairs on the back of his neck stick up but he doesn't look at Hisoka. No. He might kill him.

Alluka comes in with those bright eyes and shows Gon all the pictures she colored. And Gon smiles at every one, rubbing her head, those amber eyes so soft. Killua feels something tighten inside him. He's overwhelmed by it.

" _Family is all you have."_ That's what dream Gon had said. But Gon is like his family now. Gon and Alluka are all he has. He can't lose them. Gon is his mate, he's precious to him but he loves his sister as well. He couldn't kill Gon to save his sister and he couldn't kill Alluka to save Gon. He'd do anything else to save them. And that's the truth.

Killua sits in Gon's lap, curling in so he can lay his head on top of Gon's. He enjoys the hand that is rubbing his back. He enjoys being close to this man. He's going to enjoy himself and forget about that dream-

"Careful." Hisoka breathes out, those yellow eyes looking over at Killua. "Dreams can tell you a lot."

Killua stares at him, the need, the want of killing him still there. His stomach twists but he doesn't do anything. He stays on Gon. He won't let him out of his sight. If he's close to him, Hisoka can't attack him. That dream won't happen.

Hisoka is trouble. Killua isn't going to stand for his shit anymore.

He's going to protect his loved ones. At all cost.

* * *

 **Another chapter! Thank you so much for your support...ugh i'm back in school. No more being lazy. Review, I feel you guys will like this chapter.**


	13. Chapter 13

"Killua don't eat the gingerbread yet! We have to make it into a house." Gon, who was reading the back of the box to get a good idea how to start to put this thing together, stops when he heard the crunching sound. He looks over at Killua, the boy sitting next to him, chewing slowly, his ears back.

"It's a cookie! You don't make things out of it." Killua grumbles, placing the cookie down anyway.

"Don't worry. We'll eat it after we finish putting it together." Gon smiles, scratching behind Killua's ear, getting the younger to lean in and close his eyes. Gon finds himself looking at that beautiful face, and those soft lips once again. Killua is always so tempting. The boy has some cookie crumbles at the corner of his mouth that Gon can't resist. He leans in and licks them up before kissing Killua. The boy purrs immediately, wrapping his arms around his neck and pulling him in closer to deepen it.

"Gon can I eat this one? It smells good." Alluka's voice gets Gon to tense and to pull away from Killua. He flushes. He forgot what he was doing. He looks over at Alluka who is sitting next to him, holding up a gumdrop with a bright smile on her lips.

"Yes you can eat that one."

"Hey!" Killua glares at him though his cheeks are quite flushed as well. "Why does she get to eat some but I couldn't?"

"Alluka asked and she's eating something small. You were eating the actual house." Gon gets out the bag of icing and begins to make a square with it on the platform that came with the box. This will be their foundation.

"I'm eating a gumdrop." Killua grumbles taking a blue one before throwing it into his mouth. He watches with those big blue eyes as Gon keeps tracing lines with the icing. Alluka is looking more and more excited though.

"Look brother! They have little people!" Alluka giggles when she finds the gingerbread boy and girl, picking them up and moving them around.

"...Why is this a thing? It's all made of food. It's made of sweets. Sweets should be eaten, not played with." Killua scowls. "Humans have too much free time on their hands."

"I think it's fun!" Alluka bounces in her seat, getting Gon to smile. At least someone is happy about it. Killua just wants to hurry up and eat it. He pats Alluka on the head before handing her a piece of gingerbread.

"Here you go Alluka. Just place it in the line right there- that's it!" Gon beams when it stays put. He hands the one Killua bit to him. He stares at it, looking over at Gon and Alluka seeing their bright eyes. He sighs, a smile twitching at his lips as he places the piece on another line of icing. Gon takes the other two and places them, fixing them together the best he can with icing. He hands the bag of icing to Alluka. "Cover it as much as you like with icing! We can stick candy on it through the icing."

"Okay!" Alluka squeezes the delicious paste out with no problem. She covers the roof and the sides, Gon going in with a spoon to smooth it over after her. Killua lays his head on Gon's shoulder, his reaction is to wrap an arm around his waist and pull him closer.

Though this morning was crazy, Gon can feel that they've gotten closer. He's not as nervous about touching Killua and he doesn't feel guilty when he thinks about how beautiful Killua is or how those lips feel like. Killua purrs whenever Gon touches him and those eyes look at him so intently.

"I'm done! Now what do I do?" Alluka smiles over at the two, her tail flicking in her excitement. Gon tears his eyes away from Killua to smile at her.

"Put on anything you like! See?" Gon grabs a gumdrop before placing it on the roof. Alluka's pupils get bigger and she starts grabbing all the gumdrops and placing them different places on the house. Gon starts to place some of the candy on the thing himself. He tenses up when he feels Killua's breathing on his neck and then that tongue licking him. "K-Killua why don't you help us?" Gon glances over at the boy feeling his heart beat pick up. Simple things like that from Killua can get him going.

He swallows when he sees the slightly darkened look in Killua's eyes. Gon knows what that looks means now. Killua isn't interested in putting together a ginger-house right now.

"Hey Gon..." Killua licks up the shell of his ear, getting the older man to shiver. Gon can feel his heat pool, and what makes him even harder is the fact he knows Killua can smell it on him. He can smell what he does to Gon. "I wanna do some of those things again." He whispers in his ear, tightening his grip on his arm.

"The young can be needy mates." Hisoka sighs from over on the couch. Killua tenses at his voice but he doesn't turn to look at him. "I wonder if you can keep up with all his needs Gon? A young boy like himself is insatiable. I could play with him a little if you wanted~"

"No." Gon shakes his head. "Don't touch Killua."

Killua was about to say something but his ears twitch at the tone of voice Gon used. Those blue eyes light up and he grins over at Hisoka. "I'm not the only one who is territorial! Gon regards me highly. You won't be touching either of us, you creep." Those blue eyes narrow when Hisoka stands up. Gon's eyes widen when Killua gets up quickly, getting in front of him and Alluka, those blue eyes getting really dark and he hisses. "Don't get any closer to them."

"Hmm?" Hisoka raises his eyebrow. "I just wanted to join in on the fun-"

"Stay in the living room." Killua snarls.

"What's wrong Killua?" Gon frowns when he sees how tense Killua is, those nails of his getting longer. Killua did have that bad dream a while ago...and he asked if Hisoka had attacked so it was about Hisoka.

"Hey Alluka, why don't we take this into my bedroom?" Gon smiles at Alluka. She nods her head and grabs the house with the bags of candies and runs into the bedroom. Gon grabs Killua's hand and leads him into to their bedroom. "I'll see you in the morning Hisoka." Gon says his goodbyes to the strange man with the yellow gleaming eyes before he shuts the door and locks it.

The change in Killua is immediate. He completely relaxes, those blue eyes are back to normal and staring at him. "Lets finish that gingerbread house." Gon rubs Killua's cheek before walking over to Alluka who is sitting on the bed, placing more candy everywhere she can find.

Killua starts to put on some candy, sitting next to his sister, the boy being able to enjoy himself it seems now that they're in Gon's bedroom. It was nice of Kurapika and Leorio to drop this off. After watching a couple of movies with everyone, Gon was going to go to the store to get one of these but Killua started to freak out. He said he couldn't leave without him. So they went back and forth, Gon trying to explain to Killua that he would be fine and that him coming could cause more problems. Killua didn't listen though. He wouldn't let him leave by himself.

So he had to call in a favor. Kurapika and Leorio are always there when he needs them. Of course they said in exchange for the gingerbread house they want Gon to promise they will see Killua soon. So he had to promise them that. He's sure the two of them are getting restless by now.

Hopefully Killua calms down by tomorrow. Gon has to go to work. He's sure it's because of the bad dream he had and maybe because they just became mates so he's restless. He's worried about being away from him.

"Look big brother I gave her a pretty blue dress of candy!" Alluka holds out the girl ginger bread that is now covered in candy. Gon smiles, glad he was able to do this for Alluka. Killua's tail flicks and he licks his lips.

"Can I eat it now?"

"No." Both Gon and Alluka say.

Killua groans and lays on his back, watching as Gon and Alluka keep putting on candy. The house looks more like candy then anything else. So many colors.

"I wish I lived in a house like this. They look so happy." Alluka smiles to herself as she puts the two gingerbread people in front of the house, they smile at them with icing made smiles.

"But it's food." Killua can't seem to get that concept out of his head. "It's chocolate."

"Big brother would probably eat it if we lived in this house." Alluka giggles, getting Gon to chuckle.

"Yeah he probably would."

"Any sensible being would!" Killua grins at the looks of amusement he gets from the two. "It's a house made of candy! Come on."

"If only there was one more gingerbread person..." Alluka suddenly says, those blue eyes staring at the two.

"What do you mean? Did you want to decorate another one?" Gon tilts his head at the strange look on her face.

"It's not complete." She mumbles looking at the gingerbread house. She touches the girl and then the boy gingerbread. "There's me and my big brother but...you're not here. One more and it would be perfect. We could all live in this gingerbread house. Just us three. And no one else could come...except maybe that nice girl with the strange eyes. She can come."

Gon stares at Alluka, this constricting feeling in his chest. It's a child's imagination mixed with the hope and longing of any aged human being. Gon doesn't think it's the gingerbread house. He's sure it could be any house. Maybe Alluka has been anxious as well, about the lab, about Hisoka, about everything going on. She never says anything about it but she has scars just like Killua. They're not visible like his but they're there.

"They aren't us. They're just gingerbread men that are about to be eaten. We're all here. This home isn't a gingerbread house but it's the best place we've been. I'll get rid of Hisoka. Then it will just be us." Killua reaches over, touching Alluka's cheek. She wraps her arms around him, her ears flattening.

"I want that." She says before pulling away, nuzzling her head against Killua. Gon just watches the two comfort each other, not really sure what to say. He can't do anything about Hisoka at the moment. He can only assure them that while he's alive, he won't let the lab take them. They are his family now.

Alluka pulls away from Killua to hug Gon. He quickly warps his arms around her, rubbing his cheek against the top of her head. "I like it here with Gon. I like it a lot. Big brother is happy and I'm happy." Gon swallows thickly at her words, tightening his grip on her. It's too much.

"I'm happy too, Alluka. You've both have made me really happy." Gon looks over at Killua who is watching them with his pupils getting bigger. He seems restless but when their eyes lock, he calms, his pale cheeks flushing.

"Don't leave us." Alluka pulls away, those blue eyes staring at him intently. Her eyes water. "Please."

"Ah!" Gon quickly pulls her back in and rubs her hair. "Of course I won't! What's all this all of a sudden? Did you have a bad dream like Killua?" They were just making a gingerbread house together and then suddenly it got so serious.

"I just have a bad feeling..." She clings to him.

"Sis you have nothing to worry about." Gon looks over at Killua who has gotten a strange look in his eyes. They're dark and his pupils slanted. "I'll protect you and him. We'll stay together. I already told him this morning. You can't get rid of me now that we're mates. Not now, not ever."

Gon stares at him in amazement, his heart feels like it stilled if just for a moment. There's something final about those icy blue eyes. Something that can't be fought, something that is sealed. If Gon had any doubts or regrets, he might be feeling nervous right now but he's not.

"Same goes to you Killua. You can't get rid of me either." Gon chuckles, feeling too happy right now. Alluka and Killua will be with him for the rest of his life. He doubts if he fought with Killua, if he were to decide that he didn't want to be his mate anymore...it might not end well for him. There is still something very animalistic about Killua and it can come out in times like this...

But when Killua looks at his smile and hears his chuckle, that strange look leaves. Those eyes go back to normal, they are no longer dark but light and beautiful. His white ears twitch and a small smile finds his lips. When he smiles like that, Gon can't help the way his heart feels or how warm he gets. Gon isn't denying it anymore.

No matter how this turns out, Gon doesn't regret it. Killua saved him from the cold. He saved him from a Christmas full of insanity. Gon is the one who is going to protect them. With all he has. He said it before.

"Good." Killua moves closer, nudging his head into Gon's hand, the older happily showing him affection. He rubs through his silky locks, closing his eyes at feeling how soft it is. He's purring so loud too.

"I think it's time to eat the gingerbread house, don't you think Alluka?" Gon smiles at Alluka who has let go of him to sit next to her brother. She smiles and nods her head.

"Yeah! Big brother has been wanting to do that from the start!" She giggles when Killua's pupils get big. His tail flicks and he licks his lips, staring down the gingerbread house.

"I can eat it now?"

"Yes but you have to share Killua-" The boy grabs one large chunk of the house and pulls it, the whole thing coming apart. He starts to munch on it, purring. Alluka takes a smaller one and starts to eat it, licking at the icing. Gon takes one of the gingerbread people and eats it. It's a bit too sweet for his taste, filled with candy and everything.

Gon watches, kind of alarmed, as Killua destroys the gingerbread house. He eats it so fast. "Killua take a breather. You're going to get sick." Gon pulls Killua closer to him by the shirt.

"I don't get sick." Killua grumbles, Gon more aware of the crumbs on his lip once again. He wipes them off with his thumb, holding his chin. Killua blinks, those eyes becoming half lidded soon after. His tail brushes against his thigh, those pupils getting bigger as he stares into Gon's amber orbs. The atmosphere just changed completely. "I want to do those things again." He licks his lips.

"No I think we should just go to sleep-" Gon starts, about to mention his sister, but she's moved the gingerbread house on the ground and has run to the bathroom. "Alluka you don't have to-" Gon swallows when he's tackled down by Killua when he had tried to get out of the bed. Hisoka was right. He may be insatiable.

"Just a little bit...I want you to touch me again." Killua licks at the back of his neck, getting Gon's heart to beat so fast. He can feel the boy's firm chest on his back and can feel his harden excitement against his bottom.

"Killua...I have work tomorrow and..." He trails off when Killua licks up his neck again, those fingers rubbing into his hair. He closes his eyes, letting Killua kiss his sensitive skin, kissing over to the side. "A-Ah Killua." He moans when Killua bites into the back of his neck, not too hard but just enough. The boy is grinding against him now, growling lowly when Gon tries to move.

"Your smell...the sounds you make..." Killua mumbles. "I can't...when you smell like this-"

"Just calm down, Killua." Gon swallows when he sees Killua's hand close to his head and how his nails have gotten longer.

Killua hisses at him and bites into his neck a bit more roughly. "Hey Killua, let me kiss you." Gon tries. Killua stops his biting and leans closer, as expected, those eyes aren't human at all. Gon leans in and kisses the younger male. He watches as his eyes widen before they gain that light back and they close, opening his mouth so Gon can snake his tongue inside.

Once Killua is good and flushed, and his nails have gone back to normal, Gon pulls away. Killua follows after him, a string of saliva connecting them. Those eyes are so cloudy. "G-Gon I need to mate with you...this feeling is kind of freaking me out. I'm going to hurt you. I am-"

Gon kisses him again, his stomach tightening when he hears Killua moan. He turns so he's laying on his side next to Killua. He touches his neck and his cheek as he keeps kissing him, keeping the boy at bay for the moment.

"It's okay." Gon whispers against his lips, feeling the need to. "Killua I can take care of you if you want, like I did this morning." He kisses down his jaw and sucks at his neck. The boy immediately gives him access.

"Mm...Fuck y-yeah...can you do that again?" Killua groans when Gon kisses him once again, the boy brushing his erection against Gon's thigh. "Because I feel like...I need something."

"I'll take care of it." Gon pulls away, smiling when he sees how Killua's ears flatten. "You get excited easily Killua." Gon teases, watching as the boy gets red.

"So do you!" Killua grabs the bulge in Gon's pants to prove his point. Gon sucks in air.

"G-Good point. Lets get you undressed..." Gon licks his lips, noticing how low his voice has gotten. Killua's pupils seem to get bigger and his tail slows. He was able to smell this mood a mile away. Gon helps him get off his shirt and pants. Soon Killua is laying on his back, his legs spread, completely exposed to him.

It's really too much. Gon could spend hours just staring at Killua's body and kissing it. He loves kissing him. Gon gives little butterfly kisses all over Killua's tight stomach, he can feel the muscles contract with each on. Killua's breathing has increased. When Gon kisses his inner thigh, he moans, his purring getting louder.

Killua seems to like this affection before Gon does anything too sexual. It gives him that extra comfort. Gon will never rush it with Killua. He has to be careful because though he can make him feel good, bad memories always linger. Gon knows that more than anyone.

"So beautiful Killua...love you...Killua." He says things like this as he leaves kisses all over his body. He's getting carried away by his own feelings in his chest and his own arousal. Killua feels so warm, his slender fingers are in his hair, tugging lightly. Soft sounds are leave his lips, they almost sound like pleas.

"Gon..." Gon stops and looks up at Killua. Those blue eyes are bright, glossy, and dark with lust. He licks his lips. "More." It looks like Killua has reached his limit. That's okay. So has Gon.

Gon gives him more. Soon he has Killua a moaning mess, the cat boy having to bite his knuckle to stop himself from crying out. His body gets glistened in sweat as he mumbles something that could be Gon's name or something else. With the experience this morning, Gon is able to make the boy cum quicker. Once again Gon swallows it all.

Going twice in one day...Killua really is amazing. Gon makes sure to clean him off before he pulls away to look at his handy work. Gon's heart skips a beat. Killua is staring at him with tired eyes, a lazy smile on his lips, his hair all over the place, his cheeks still flushed. He looks so relaxed.

"Mmm so good, Gon." Killua sighs happily, making a come here motion. "Now it's your turn. Before I fall asleep. You were so fast this morning so it shouldn't take long-"

"K-Killua!" Gon smacks his hand away, glaring at him but it looks more like a pout. "Don't talk about that-"

"I told you I liked it." Killua grumbles, grabbing Gon's wrist with more strength this time and pulling him on top of his body. "I'm the only one who can do this." He licks Gon's cheek before reaching over for the lube they had left in his nightstand.

"I don't want to do it with anyone else." Gon says right before he feels that strong grip on his most intimate parts. Luckily Gon lasts a bit longer this time but having Killua touch him feels really good. He didn't stand much of chance. "O-Oh I got it all over you." Gon gets off of him, grabbing some napkins from his nightstand and wiping the boy clean. He hands him some to clean his hand.

"Tis fine." Killua mumbles sleepily, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him closer. He nuzzles his head, purring loudly. "You just marked me...I want to mark you next...all over..." Killua licks his cheek before settling his head between his neck.

"Killua..." Gon yawns, wrapping his arms around his waist on reflex. He's cool now that he's dried off. His skin is so soft. Gon can't help to draw circles into his back, finding his eyes slipping shut. He should turn on his alarm clock...just in case...but really he doesn't want to move.

"I love you." Gon's eyes widen when Killua says that against his neck, tightening his grip around him. Gon can see he's blushing a lot, it's reached his neck.

Gon smiles and it wobbles. "I love you too, Killua." He kisses the top of his head. His purring is loud and instant.

 _Mito...I don't know what you think of this. But I'm happy. I have a new family and I'll protect them this time. I won't lose them._

 _I won't let the cold grasp of death have them while I'm alive._

* * *

Killua wakes up feeling a firm chest against his own. Before he opens his eyes, he can smell Gon and he knows that's who he's snuggled up so close to. He purrs, nuzzling into the warmth before fluttering his blue orbs open. Gon is still asleep, drool falling from the side of his mouth, his facial expression so relaxed. It's been awhile since Killua has seen this expression.

He smiles, feeling Alluka against his back and Gon's breath on his hair. This is really comfortable, but with seeing Gon so helpless like this, it gets Killua warm quickly. Gon is _his_ now. They've done things like mating and it's only a matter of time before he gets to have Gon completely. When he's close to Gon like this, he starts to feel restless. He feels warm and his heart rate increases. He feels anxious but it's not too bad.

When Gon is kissing him and looking at him with those big amber orbs glazed over in lust...that's when these feelings start to scare him. More than once has he been on the verge of losing himself and attacking Gon. He gets so excited when those strong, callused hands touch him so gently, and he gets this feeling in his chest that makes him feel like he's going to explode.

Killua has been touched all over his body by humans before. This is completely different. Killua doesn't feel sick when Gon touches him. No, every place he touches feels so warm and all he wants is more. There's so much care in his touches and how he kisses that...He really just doesn't know how to explain it. He's torn from his instinct telling him to just take Gon now and completely claim him, and this other voice in his head. The other part of him that wants to wait till Gon is ready, that wants to care for him and adore him. There's something more to it than just wanting to mate.

When those humans touched him, he could smell their lust and tell by their hands that they wanted to mate. That's all they wanted. Gon touches him with deeper meaning than that. It feels like he's not just touching his flesh, as if his warmth can seep inside to places Killua didn't even know existed in him. Places that make him happy and scared at the same time. Scared because he doesn't understand it nor does he know how to act.

When Gon was touching him last night, saying words of love, Killua felt like crying and laughing. Is that normal? He's not sure. Gon does strange things to him. The only thing he does understand is that he wants to be with Gon. He wants to stay by his side.

Killua's ears twitch on top of his head when Gon mumbles something in his sleep. He leans in and kisses his cheek, not able to help it. He licks up his temple, loving when Gon tightens his grip around him. He feels so warm.

Killua's eyes narrow when he looks at the clock. Gon will be getting up for work soon enough. Killua licks at his collar bone, noticing how Gon's eyebrows furrow. He'll try to leave out of that door again but Killua has already made up his mind. Gon isn't leaving his sight. If he has to go to work so be it but Killua is going to be right there with him to make sure he's alright. He doesn't trust any human with him, not after the incident at the party. If Killua didn't get there when he did, Gon could have been hurt.

Killua wiggles out of Gon's and Alluka's hold. Gon grumbles and turns in his sleep, gripping his pillow instead. Killua crawls over their bodies and gets off the bed. He walks over to the dresser silently and pulls out the outfit Gon picked out for him to wear when Kurapika and Leorio come over to meet him.

He puts on the black shirt and jeans, wincing when he feels how his tail is trapped between the fabric but it has to be done. He puts on the hat before walking over to the mirror in the bathroom. He blinks, turning his head this way and that. Slowly a smirk starts to creep up. He looks completely human.

"Mmm Killua where did you go?" He hears Gon's sleepy voice so he peaks out of the bathroom. Gon is sitting up in bed, rubbing at his eyes. He walks over quickly to his mate and nuzzles his head against him, licking his cheek affectionately.

"I'll make you something to eat so go ahead and take your shower."

"Okay." Gon opens his eyes and smiles at up at him. Killua feels that increase of his heart rate but he ignores it. Gon looks so cute with his hair all over the place and that goofy grin. Killua pulls Gon's cheeks before leaning in and kissing him. Killua finds he really enjoys Gon's mouth. It makes him feel good everywhere. "You're really affectionate this morning." Gon chuckles, pulling away when the kiss started to get heated, those tan cheeks slightly flushed.

"Yeah. Can't help it." Killua mumbles, pulling away from his mate. He feels like pouncing on him and doing all those things all over again but he knows Gon doesn't have all the time in the world.

"What are you doing in that outfit?"Gon blinks, just noticing he's fully clothed. "Kurapika and Leorio aren't coming over today."

"I'm going with you to work." Killua says firmly before walking into the living room. He notices right away that Hisoka isn't in the living room. By the smell of it, he hasn't been here for a couple of hours. He might have been more focused on that if he didn't hear Gon's foot steps marching after him.

"Killua you can't come to work with me. It's not safe having you come out in public in your human form! I've told you that. Killua it was bad enough you came and got me, that made me worried enough. There's no way I can take you to work! What if those men are around looking for you? They'll recognize you!-"

" They don't believe that I can walk around among the humans. They didn't think I was ready back at the lab. They wouldn't expect me to be walking around and behaving. I doubt they will be at your restaurant. I'm careful Gon. But if you leave me and walk out of that door, i'll get too anxious. I can't do that anymore. If you leave this house, I'm coming with you from now on." Killua walks over to the kitchen and starts pouring Gon some cereal. "You should take your shower-"

"Killua you don't' have to worry about me. I know I made you scared when I went to that party but...I'm okay Killua. Nothing is going to happen if I go to work-"

"I don't trust the humans around you. I want to be with you when you go to work" Killua makes the cereal before placing it on the table. "You should eat and then take your shower. I'm already ready to go-"

"Killua you're not coming." Gon says a bit firmer this time, sitting down in front of the cereal, giving the younger this look. Killua narrows his eyes, his tail flicking.

"I _am_ coming. As your mate I need to protect you. Besides I don't like you leaving me here. That door is standing between us now-"

"Killua, even if the lab people aren't out there, if your hat comes off by accident it will be really bad. No one can see those cat ears of yours. It's just too much of risk!" Gon starts to eat, watching as Killua's ears twitch. "I'll be home before you know it. It will be okay."

"My ears are what's holding me back?" Killua mumbles. If he knows anything about his new mate is that he's stubborn. He's not going to let him go to work with him so Killua will have to find other ways to do so. But Gon's words have gotten him to think. If he didn't have his ears or tail, he would be able to walk out with Gon more freely.

"I'm just worried Killua. It wasn't too long ago that I stole Alluka and Hisoka...I'm sure they're looking really hard for all of you. By the way, where is Hisoka?" Gon blinks,looking around the the living room when he's done eating.

"I don't know. He's been gone for awhile." Killua grabs Gon's bowl and starts to wash it. Gon watches him do this, frowning when he sees how his ears are flatten. Gon walks up and hugs Killua from behind, getting the younger to tense, before melting into his warmth and scent.

"I know you want to go with me." Gon mumbles against his ear, rubbing Killua's arms. Killua leans his head back so he can lick at Gon's cheek, purring from the embrace, his ears perking back up. "I'll be back and then we'll make some cookies okay? Christmas is soon. I'm sure there's going to be something on TV for you and Alluka to watch."

"Yeah." Killua turns around so he can wrap his arms around Gon's neck. He's pleased when Gon leans in first and gives him a soft kiss on the lips. He purrs, his tail waving around. He enjoys this the most. He can feel himself get hot and he wants to brush against his mate-

"I'm going to take a shower and then head out." Gon smiles, giving Killua another peck before he walks back into into his room. Killua's ears go back from the lost of warmth. He feels like pouncing on Gon and keeping him trapped in his bedroom. Killua narrows his eyes when he walks into the living room, glancing over at the couch where Hisoka's scent is the strongest. Where did he go? Killua feels his tail puff up. He wants to feel better that Hisoka is gone but really this probably means more trouble. Just another reason why Killua should be with Gon. Hisoka isn't in here, he's out there were Gon is about to go.

Killua walks into the bedroom and jumps on the bed, glancing over at the bathroom, his ears twitching at the sound of the water flowing. He crawls so he's hugging his sister, her ears perking up at the new weight on her. He shhs her and runs his fingers through her hair. He closes his eyes, and relaxes his body. He hears the water shut off and Gon comes out soon after. He hears his mate walk closer to him. Killua feels his face flush when Gon leans in and kisses the top of his head, before rubbing Alluka's head.

"I'll be back soon Killua." He whispers. "I love you." Killua feels his heart skip. He has the urge to just grab him and pull Gon into the bed but he needs his plan to work. He listens to Gon walk away, and when he hears the door open and close, Killua's eyes open.

"Sis, lets get you dressed. We're going to see Gon at his work." That's all it takes for his sister to wake up, her blue eyes excited.

"Really? Yay!"

He's been taught how to be sneaky. He's going to have to spy on Gon and make sure he's safe. If he can't be by his side with him knowing, he'll have to be by his side when he doesn't know.

Killua can't shake this feeling that something is wrong. He feels it in his gut and his hair is bristling. He glances at his sister who hums to herself. She's been feeling it too. The way she was talking last night...

And then there was that weird dream he had about Hisoka. It's just too much. Killua said he was going to protect his family and he meant it.

* * *

"Hey Kurapika!" Gon waves over at his fellow waiter as he walks into the shop, getting his badge on. Kurapika who was handing a glass of soda to a customer, glances Gon's way, those gray eyes narrowing. Gon swallows when he makes a finger gesture before walking into the back of the shop where they usually talk. "Did I do something?"

"You didn't do anything." Kurapika smiles sweetly. "Tomorrow we're having a little party for Christmas eve. We want you to bring Killua. It would be a nice way to meet him. It will just be us, don't worry." Kurapika's gray eyes are nice but Gon knows he's not going to take no for an answer. They've been anxious about Killua since they saw him carry Gon off after the party, dressed strangely, and looking like he wanted to kill everyone is.

Gon smiles. "That sounds nice. I'll get Killua to come." He watches Kurapika's shoulders relax and he returns the smile, this time it looks more true. "Thank you for the gingerbread house. Killua liked it." Gon flushes, rubbing his arm. "Um...Me and him are together now."

Kurapika's eyes widen. "You told him of your feelings?"

"Well...he sort of told me of his and I told him of mine..." Gon feels his chest tighten and he can't help his smile talking about it. "...I still feel a little strange about it but when I'm with Killua and we have these moments together, I don't feel guilty. Killua looks so happy. You should see the way he tries to hide how his eyes light up...it's cute." Gon blinks and looks at Kurapika, realizing he was just rambling. The blonde is smiling. There's no discomfort or disgust there.

"I'm glad Gon. I really am...I really want to meet him now. The party will be tomorrow around 2. It's just going to be a little thing. We just want to introduce ourselves and see the person that's caught your eye."

"I'll bring him just... um...Killua isn't the friendliest person." Gon chuckles, scratching his cheek. "So I apologize for him in advance. He's a good person though. I'm sure you will be able to see the light in him too."

"I'm sure that if you fancy him, he's full of light. We kind of got the picture when he showed up at the party that he's not...that friendly." Kurapika's lips twitch slightly. " He seemed in a hurry to get you out of there. Did you not tell him you were going to a party?"

"...No I didn't." Gon sticks out his tongue when Kurapika gives him a surprised look. "I just needed some time to myself. I didn't expect him to come after me that's for sure."

"I wasn't expecting him to call." Kurapika thinks for a moment before he pats Gon on the back. "you better get out there. We're pretty busy. You have tables 5, 6, 7 so far. They all just sat down."

"On it!" Gon beams, walking out of the room quickly to get started on getting each tables orders of drinks, giving them smiles and small conversation. He loves the time before Christmas. Everyone is so kind around here. He doesn't have to worry about rude customers for the most part.

A couple hours in serving and he hears Knuckle start saying something to a couple of kids that were just hanging around the shop and that they need to buy something. Gon doesn't think much of it. A lot of kids like to skateboard or just hang around this area, and they like to cause trouble. Now that Knuckle comes out and yells at them, most have stopped coming around unless they want to get some food with their friends.

"I'll get you a refill of coke sir." Gon smiles, making his rounds on his tables. Just as he's heading back to the back to get more soda, Knuckle comes up to him.

"Gon you have a new table, number 4. Two kids where just hanging outside of the shop but they decided to buy something." Knuckle grumbles, moving past him.

"Okay I'll get right on that." Gon chuckles, walking into the back. He gets a tray to hold the two sodas he makes, noticing Kurapika is picking up some trays of food. It is pretty busy today. They haven't gotten to talk too much. He walks out and gives his two tables the refills before he turns his attention on the new table.

He blinks when he takes in the two young ones sitting at the table. They both have their menus close up to their faces so he can't see them but by the way they're dressed, and height, he can tell they're young. "Hello, my name is Gon and I'll be your server for the day. Can I start you off on some drinks?"

They don't answer. The smaller one is trembling. "Ah is something wrong?" Gon looks between the two of them. As he looks...something clicks in his head. His stomach twists and he hopes he's wrong. These two kids look too much like Killua and Alluka's size. Also why aren't they speaking? If they would speak, Gon would be able to recognize their voices.

But what if he's just being paranoid? What if he's just getting all worked up for no reason? Killua was asleep when he left him with Alluka...but it has been a few hours...Gon would feel better if he could see their faces.

"I'll come back in a little bit. Would you like some water?" Gon watches as the taller one nods, keeping the menu up. Gon almost narrows his eyes. Something is fishy about this. Very fishy. Gon leaves anyway to get them their water and to check up on the other tables. Once he sees all the other tables are happy, he goes back to the table with the suspicious youngsters. They still have their menus up. Gon wants to laugh. They are not smooth at all.

They were probably watching him from outside but Knuckle caught them. It's hard to hid yourself in this open area. Gon wants to scold them right here and now. He told Killua not to come, that it was too dangerous and he even brought Alluka with him! What if someone saw them? Gon places the water down, seeing how the smaller, which he knows is Alluka, tenses.

"You know, you two remind me of people I know." Gon says sweetly. Alluka is shaking but Killua acts like he's unaffected. " Killua, and Alluka." He says their names. Killua's hand that was on the menu clenches slightly. "But I know that you couldn't be them. They know better than to come to my job. It would make be upset if they did that to me-"

"G-Gon i'm sorry!" Alluka puts down the menu, and there's those blue eyes that he knew were hiding behind the menu. She's wearing a hat to hide her ears, her eyes wide. " It was big brother's idea!"

"Alluka!" Killua puts down his menu, looking at his little sister in disbelief. His eyebrows are furrowed and he doesn't look at Gon when he puts his hands on his hips.

"But don't be angry with big brother! We just wanted to make sure you're okay Gon." Alluka's eyes start to water. Gon frowns, feeling his anger decrease just from seeing that cute face. He knows they've been worried but...they really can't be doing this.

"I know but I'm fine. Really, coming out like this...And it's so cold outside. You've been out their for hours haven't you?" They don't answer. Gon sighs. "What am I going to do with you?" Gon glances around the store. All the people here are regulars. All familiar faces. He looks back at Alluka and Killua, they're both looking at him. Killua looks defensive, those blue eyes ready to fight him but at the same time, Gon can see the slight worried furrow of his brow. Killua doesn't like upsetting him. He's just stubborn in his ways, just like Gon is stubborn.

"Well...since you two are here anyway, how about you order something. It will be my treat." Gon reaches over, patting them both on the head. Killua's eyes light up and he looks at Gon with surprise.

"You're not mad?" Alluka smiles brightly.

"Don't get me wrong, I'm not happy." Gon scolds and he can just imagine both of their ears flattening. "I have a short shift today so after you eat, if you wait for a bit, we can go home together. We'll talk more about this later... _Killua_." Gon says his name purposely, giving him a look. Killua tenses before glaring at the table.

" I don't regret this." Killua says. "So you can talk about it all you want. I'm not leaving your side."

Gon blinks at the firm tone, and this look in Killua's eyes. Gon feels like there's a headache coming on.

"You're our family now...Family sticks together. I'm going to protect you." Gon's heart skips a beat from the strong look Killua gives him. Those blue eyes open and filled with emotion. If he could put a name to it, he would call it passion. Those words that he spoke...Gon feels his throat tighten. He feels the same way. Killua and Alluka are his new family. He wants to protect them also...Gon thinks it's best for them to stay at home, and Killua thinks it's best to just stick together.

"Ah..." Gon swallows. He just wants to squeeze Killua right now. He wants to hug them both. He reaches out instead and pats Killua on top of the head. "We'll talk about it later." He says softer. "I'm not mad." He smiles. Killua's defensive look completely leaves him, those blue eyes lighting up. When Gon hears his purr, he quickly gets away from him. Killua looks away from him, blushing.

"I'll um...look at the menu." He grunts, grabbing the menu and looking at it.

"Okay I'll be back to check on you later." Gon feels himself flush, realizing he was getting really friendly with two young ones. He should avoid making Killua happy or he'll start purring and...even though it's loud in here right now, he doesn't want anyone hearing that.

When Gon turns around, he's relieved to see he's only gotten a couple of people's stares. But when he makes eye contact with them, they go back to their on conversations.

"Do you need anything?" Gon checks on one of his tables.

"No thank you." A woman smiles. "I haven't seen those two around here before. Are they some of Mito's children?"

"Ah yes. I've been mentoring them in her place." Gon's lips tingle at his lie. But that makes sense. Mito volunteered a lot with children. She liked to care for them anyway she could. Some times they would have other children staying with them and Gon would make friends with them but then they would have to go away. The parents would move or they would want them back.

"How nice. She did great work. I'd love to see you following after her." The woman smiles, her eyes lighting up. "Take care of those children now but try to have fun. You're so young yourself."

"I'll take care of them." Gon smiles. "Enjoy your meal." He walks off to ask his other tables if they need anything. After refilling a couple of drinks and getting bread to some, he walks back to Killua and Alluka. He notices that Kurapika is staring over at them, his eyebrows furrowed. He doesn't walk over though.

"You guys know what you want?" Gon smiles, watching as they look up at him, though Killua was staring at him the whole time it seems.

"I want this steak." Killua points at it.

"...Do you want it bloody or cooked?"

"...Cooked."

"I'll put it as a medium. What side do you want? The mac and chees here is really good."

"I'll get that then."

"Okay! And to drink?"

"Root beer. I liked that when we had it before." Killua licks his lips.

"What do you want Alluka?"

"The same thing as big brother. I don't know what most of this is." Alluka flushes.

"That's fine. The steaks here are good. I'm sure you'll like it. What do you want to drink?"

"I want some sprite!"

"Should have known." Gon can't help to smile. "I'll put these in for you and I'll get you some bread to eat." He gives Killua a smile, their eyes locking. Killua averts his gaze, flushing slightly. Killua is cute. He's been watching him so intently all this time and when Gon finally looks at him back, he starts to fidget.

Gon will be sure to kiss him plenty when they're home. He's too cute. When Gon gets the drinks and bread and walks back out, he's not really surprised to see that Kurapika is at their table now. Killua is glaring at him, while Alluka looks at him with big eyes. As Gon gets closer, he can hear what Kurapika is saying.

"...Tomorrow we're having a small little get together. I'd like to have you come with Gon. We didn't get to properly meet. We'll have food." Kurapika smiles despite Killua still glaring at him. " You can come too if you want." He smiles at Alluka who flushes and looks down, fiddling with her hair.

"We'll all be coming tomorrow." Gon places down the drinks and bread, smiling at Kurapika. Killua looks at Gon before looking at Kurapika. He snorts, crossing his arms.

"I guess we are coming tomorrow." Killua grumbles.

"Good." Kurapika smiles. "See you tomorrow then Killua and..." Kurapika looks at Alluka.

"Alluka!" she smiles.

"Alluka and Killua..." Kurapika's eyebrows furrow. " You named your cats after them Gon?"

"Yeah." Gon fiddles, feeling nervous when Kurapika looks at them. "Don't they kind of look like them? And Alluka really liked the cat so I named it after her."

"I see." Kurapika seems to think before he smiles. "Enjoy your meals." He walks off to check on his other tables.

"He asks too many questions." Killua narrows his eyes. He looks up at Gon. "So we're going to that thing with them tomorrow?" He doesn't' look happy.

"They want to meet you. They know we're dating now." Gon whispers, Killua being able to hear. He seems to consider this. "Try to be nicer to them Killua. They're just worried about me is all."

"...Yeah." Killua grabs some bread and starts to eat it. He still seems standoffish about it but he'll come around. He's not really fighting it so that's a good sign.

"Your food will be out soon." Gon wants to be more affectionate but he doesn't want them to start purring. He gives them both a smile, Killua's eyes linger on his. His mouth twitches when Gon walks away to start talking to the other customers. Gon can feel those blue eyes on him the whole time.

When the food comes, Gon can't help to smile when he sees Alluka bouncing as she eats the yummy food and how Killua's eyes have gotten a certain light to them.

He loves seeing them smile and he loves those blue eyes that keep looking over at him. Patiently waiting for his shift to be over so they can go home together.

One more hour, and they can go home. Killua can purr all he wants and Gon can hug and kiss him all he wants without having to worry about someone noticing Killua or the lab or anything else.

He can't wait to go home with his family.

* * *

"Huh, Hisoka still isn't home." Gon comments once they get inside the house. Killua and Alluka walk in, Killua closing the door and locking it.

Killua sniffs the air, his eyebrows furrowing. "He didn't come back today." Killua takes off his hat, his ears twitching from being freed, Alluka doing the same.

"I wonder where he is..." Gon frowns, feeling his stomach twist. "You don't think that...He got captured by the lab people do you-"

"No. You don't have to worry about him being captured. He's pretty strong. In order to capture him they would probably have to expose what they've done. I've been keeping my eye out too Gon...There's no sign of them." Killua watches as Gon's pale face gets a little bit of color back. "They must be looking else were right now."

"Okay...But it's weird he hasn't come back right?" Gon looks between the two of them. Alluka and Killua look at each other. Killua closes his eyes before he walks up to Gon and hugs him tightly.

"He's probably doing something bad. Just don't think about it." Killua nuzzles his head against Gon's. He wraps his arms around him. "Thanks...for that meal. It was really good."

"Yeah it was!" Alluka smiles, running up to Gon to hug him as well.

Gon's eyebrows furrow. It's still a bit disconcerting about Hisoka but he can't go looking for him when Killua would defiantly follow after him. He just has to leave it alone for right now he supposes. He wraps his arms around the two, feeling himself melt in their warmth.

"No problem! It was a free meal off my boss. Every couple of months we get a free meal. I've saved a couple up." Gon smiles, Alluka pulling away from him but Killua stays hanging off of him.

"What are you going to eat? I can hear your stomach." Killua lets go to walk over to the kitchen. "What do you want? I'll make you something."

"Some fish would be nice." Gon rubs his arm when Killua gets the stuff he'll need out with no comment. "I'm a bit tired tonight so maybe we could do cookies tomorrow? I'm off."

"Yeah that's fine."

"Yay! We get cookies tomorrow and we get to spend time with your friends tomorrow." Alluka runs up to the couch and jumps on it, rolling around on it.

"Yeah it should be a fun day." Gon sits down on the couch next to her, leaning his head back. When Alluka lays her head on his lap, he pets her head softly. "...You know I want to protect you both." Gon opens his eyes to look over at Killua who doesn't turn around. "I-"

"I know what you're about to say." Killua flips the fish in the pan. "But I disagree. We're not safer staying here. It's safer to stick together. I meant what I said Gon. I'm not going to leave your side. You're in a dangerous situation because of me and all the things you've done for me. You're my mate now. You can get angry with me and tell me to stay, but I won't."

Gon smiles to himself. He already knew that was his answer. "I think I've finally met my match." He chuckles lightly. "Well, seeing how you acted today, I know you won't stay here." Gon thinks for a moment. Killua's shoulders are tense. "Then I guess...we'll stick together."

Killua looks back at him, those ears twitching. Gon smiles at him. "I'd rather know when you leave the place and have my eye on you. You'll leave the home anyway to hunt so...We'll stick together. No matter what, I'll protect you both." Killua stares at him a moment. He quickly looks away and focuses on his cooking.

"That's my line." Killua grumbles. Gon can see the back of his neck is red. He sounds pleased. Relieved. Happy. Gon's stomach rumbles when he sees and smells the fish Killua just placed on a plate and is now walking towards him. He gives him the plate before flopping down next to him, curling up next to him on his shoulder. Gon's heart beats a little fast when Killua hugs his arm, those soft locks blocking his eyes from Gon's view.

Gon eats his fish in silence. Alluka is asleep on his lap, purring softly. Killua is just laying on him, breathing softly between plump lips. Gon closes his eyes when he finishes his fish, smiling over at Killua before kissing him on top of the head. "Thanks. It was good Killua."

"You're welcome." Killua speaks quietly. Gon puts his plate down, turning his body slightly so he can grab Killua's chin, lifting up his head. Gon feels a slight shock when he sees how flushed Killua's face is, those blue eyes deep, looking at him so intently.

"Killua..." Gon rubs his thumb over those tempting lips, hearing the younger's breath quiver at the soft touch. His amber orbs get darker and he gives into his urges. He leans in and kisses the boy gently, following the mood. Killua moans, grabbing onto his shirt as if he has to hold onto him for dear life, opening his mouth to let Gon explore his. The kiss stays slow and sensual for awhile, but soon Killua's tongue is fighting with his and the kiss gets a bit more heated.

Killua suddenly pulls away, panting, his face flushed and his blue eyes darkened. Gon is sure he's looking similar. "G-Gon." He breathes out, standing up. Gon watches as Killua quickly gets out of his pants, the tent in his boxers can be seen. He pulls that down, his erection springing out. It twitches at the cold air but it stands tall.

Gon's eyes look over that slender body before he flushes when he feels Alluka move in his lap. Okay this is not okay. He's got a boner because of Killua and Alluka is in his lap and her brother is naked and hard right out in the open-

"Gon can we mate? I want to mate." Killua licks his lips, getting closer.

"N-Not today Killua..." Gon swallows. If he wasn't so tired he might go with it. Killua just has been too tempting.

"I need something." Killua licks his lips, his body is covered in goosebumps. Gon glances down at Alluka. He tries to get up but when ever he moves, she moves like she's about to wake up. She's gripping onto his pants too... Gon glances at Killua who looks like he's about to attack him.

"Go get the blanket and the lube." Gon whispers. Killua's ears perk up and he runs off quickly. Gon closes his eyes, trying to calm his racing heart. He knows he shouldn't be doing anything like this with Alluka right on him but she's out. It's also kind of embarrassing having to ask her to wait in the bathroom, knowing she knows what they're doing and she probably can hear it.

When Killua comes back, Gon nods his head. "Sit next to me." Killua does so, his chest heaving up and down. He really does need him to do something. "Calm down. I'll take care of it." Gon pulls up the blanket to cover Killua. He takes the lube with one hand, with the other he moves Killua's hair out of the way and kisses his neck.

Killua lays his head to the side, groaning, closing his eyes. He kneads the couch, his long nails digging in but Gon's not focused on that right now.

"You're going to have to be quiet Killua." Gon says this against Killua's ear, licking up the shell. Killua's ears twitch, the younger covering his mouth when he moans. "Good..." Gon's pants feel way too tight but he bares with it. This is exciting. He slicks up his hand before running it from Killua's base to tip. Killua closes his eyes tightly, keeping his hand firmly on his mouth.

"I wanted to kiss you so much today...you looked so cute with the hat on." Gon keeps whispering in his ear, licking it once in awhile. Killua's head is thrown back when Gon picks up the pace, stroking him roughly, squeezing the head a bit harder. His blush has spread down his neck now, and even with the hand, Gon can hear his muffled moans and whimpers.

"You're so cute Killua..." Gon groans himself, getting off just from this. "I love you." Gon bites his ear tenderly. Killua chokes back a sob, tears at the corner of his eyes when Gon starts to play with his nipples in time with his strokes.

Killua is close.

Gon bites his ear lightly, moving away from his nipples to start to massage his balls, increasing his stroking. Killua's sounds are getting louder and louder under that hand, his thighs twitching, his toes curling. He's sweating, his body so flushed. Gon leans into his ear again. "Mmm Killua..." Gon moans.

Killua cries out behind his hand, throwing his head back, his ears flattening as he cums. Gon catches it with his hand just in time before it went everywhere. He strokes him a bit more, watching as Killua keeps his head back, his eyes closed tightly, breathing heavily out of his nose.

"Shit..." Killua pulls his hand away, it being all wet from his drool. He looks at Gon with those half lidded eyes. Gon kisses him, not able to help it. Killua purrs loudly, kneading into his chest.

"Go clean up and then you can help me move Alluka to bed. I'm feeling like I could fall asleep." Gon smiles at Killua, pecking him on the lips for good measure.

"But what about you...you're really horny-"

"It's okay...I rather sleep." Gon kisses Killua again. "I enjoy seeing you get off."

Killua blushes. He gets up and quickly walks off to clean up. Once he's gone, Gon has to stop himself from touching his problem. Killua is just too sexy for his own good. That whole thing was sexy...having Killua try to be quiet, touching him, watching him shake and whine because it was feeling soo good, watching his face as he reached his orgasm-

"Hey sis it's time to go to bed." Killua comes back in some boxers. He walks over and shakes Alluka lightly. She mumbles something sleepily so Killua picks her up and carries her in the other room.

Gon stands up and walks into their bedroom stiffly. He quickly makes his way into the bathroom to take a cold shower. He knows Killua would make him cum but he also knows himself. He doesn't want his hand. It's not enough. Gon really wants to plow into the boy, he wants to hear him scream, and see that face contorted in pleasure.

Gon doesn't want to do it tonight. No...He doesn't want to be too horny and end up hurting Killua. Gon is getting to the point where he's ready though.

He's ready to have Killua completely.

Killua doesn't say anything when Gon comes back and his problem is gone. Killua opens his arms and Gon happily crawls into them. Gon smiles when Killua wraps his arms around him and starts to play with his hair. He didn't ask for this affection but Killua is giving it to him. Soon the boy is kissing his face and the top of his forehead. His tail is brushing against his hip, his purring loud and in Gon's ear.

"Mmm...I love you Gon." Killua whispers, hugging him tighter. Gon feels his chest tighten and he nuzzles the boy who seems to get more open and affectionate after he cums. Gon isn't complaining.

"I love you too Killua."

The sound of Killua's purr and his warmth lures Gon to sleep. He falls asleep with a smile on his face.

It's nice to have a family once again.

* * *

 **Another chapter! Thank you for all your support. I'm trying to update every week but we'll see what school lets me do.**

 **Till next time.**


	14. Chapter 14

"Yay I'm so excited!" Alluka cheers, looking out of the window of the cab car, her blue eyes sparkle as she looks at all the buildings they pass.

"It's going to be fun." Gon smiles over at her before glancing over at Killua who is sulking, looking out of the window. He's not too happy about all this but Gon is sure once he gets to know his friends and talk to them, he'll like them. He's just slow to warm up to others. He's probably also mad because Killua was comfortable with sleeping with Gon and he didn't want to get up. But the longer they stayed in bed, the more likely they would get in _that_ mood again.

Gon can't help to think about Hisoka who still hasn't come back. It makes his stomach twist. He's really worried about him being gone. Something doesn't seem right. Killua says he hasn't seen any of the lab people around but what if they're hiding well? Or...what if Hisoka went back himself? And if it has nothing to do with the lab, what is he doing?-

"Oi." Gon blinks, looking over at Killua who is glaring at him. "Stop making that face. We're about to see your friends right?"Killua reaches out and touches Gon's face, pulling on his cheek lightly.

"Yeah..." Gon closes his eyes, smiling as he puts his hand on top of Killua's. Killua is good at reading him. He can't hide anything from him, those blue eyes never miss anything. "I can't wait to show you off." Gon opens his eyes, his amber orbs locking with blue.

Killua's eyes widen before they get softer, his pulling becomes rubbing. His eyes narrow at the cab driver who looks like he's getting uncomfortable. Gon puts his hand down and holds it, rubbing it gently. The younger calms down and they're able to have a peaceful drive.

Gon pays the cab driver once they reach his friend's home, the cab driver not looking him in the eye as he does so. Gon doesn't feel bad though. He never really cared about what random people would think.

He walks up the stairs of his friend's home, leading the way for Killua and Alluka. Alluka is close behind him, bouncing in excitement while Killua lags behind with his hands in his pockets. Gon takes a deep breath, hoping for the best as he knocks on the door and waits for it to be answered.

"Gon!" Leorio opens up, grinning. His eyes light up when he sees Killua standing in the back, only for them to narrow when he sees the teenager glaring at him. "W-Well come on in." His smile twitches, moving out of the way so they can all walk in.

"Mmm it smells really good! What's Kurapika cooking?" Gon groans when he smells all the meat and cheese, and grease.

"Just some turkey and mac and cheese." Leorio closes the door behind them. He ruffles Gon's hair, giving his friend a smile when he sees how his eyes light up. He knows how Gon loves Kurapika's turkey-

"Hands off." Killua grabs Gon by the hand, pulling Gon behind him. The boy glares at Leorio who blinks, his hand still in the air where Gon's head was. He glares back at Killua.

"Killua, Leorio can ruffle my hair." Gon gives him a look. Killua glares at Gon, seeming to get more irritated.

"Come on in guys. Don't just stand around." Kurapika appears in the doorway, waving them towards the living room. Gon grabs Killua's hand, in a way to pull him along and also to calm him down. He's getting too worked up over something small. Holding his hand works, the glare falls from his face and his shoulders have loosen.

"Wow! This place is big!" Alluka beams as she does a spin, looking up at the ceiling that's a bit higher than Gon's. She flops down on the couch, her blue eyes getting wider. "This is so soft!"

"Thank you. We just got a new couch set." Kurapika smiles as he takes his seat across from them. Gon and Killua sitting next to Alluka. Leorio doesn't sit down, he stands against the wall with his arms crossed.

"It better be soft with how much it cost us." Leorio grumbles.

"Don't mind him, he's still sore he had to pay some money-"

"It wasn't _some_ -"

"Let's not get into this now." Kurapika's smile twitches, getting Leorio to shut up. He turns his smile over at Killua who is currently looking at Gon's hand that is still holding his. "So you're Killua. We've heard a lot about you from Gon."

"Oh really?" Killua glances up at Kurapika before glancing at Gon, noting the slight blush there. "What's he been saying?"

"Not too much. Just about his great feelings towards you." Kurapika watches how those eyes light up, if just a bit. Those blue eyes are watching him carefully though. He's alert.

"Alright I'm just going to come out and say it. Are you messing with Gon?" Leorio walks closer, those brown eyes boring into blue. "Are you serious about this? Because all I see right now is a punk and that makes me nervous. Do your parents even know about this?"

"My parents?" Killua seems baffled by the question. He stares at Leorio and his finger pointed at him before shrugging his shoulders. "No. They don't." Killua narrows his eyes. "and what do you mean, messing with Gon?"

"Leorio." Kurapika glares at his lover.

"I mean messing with him. As soon as I got a look at you at the party, I knew there was something bad about you. You're way too controlling of him and since your parents don't know, that just makes this more dangerous for Gon. Gon really loves you, and your attitude is of a spoiled brat."

"Tch. I really don't get what you're saying right now but you're starting to piss me off." Killua snarls, about to get up but Gon is quick to wrap his arms around him, keeping him from doing anything. "Gon-"

"Leorio." Gon's tone of voice gets everyone to tense up. He glares slightly at his friend. "Don't say that about Killua. He's really trying hard. Even though it doesn't look like it, just him being here is him trying. I want everyone to get along here. I didn't bring him here for you to insult him. Killua isn't messing with me. He loves me. So if you keep being mean to him, I'll get angry."

Leorio's eyes are wide and his face slightly pale. Killua stares at Gon in awe, his lips parted before those blue eyes light up and he smirks over at Leorio. He wraps his arms around Gon, nuzzling his head. "Yeah old man. Better not be mean to me again." Killua's voice is like silk.

Leorio's face gets red in anger but instead of yelling at the boy, he turns and walks out of the room. That's for the best. Leorio looked like he was about to explode. "I'm not old!" Is all he yells and then he just grumbles to himself in the other room.

Kurapika watches how pleased Killua looks. The boy seems to be hanging off of Gon now, kissing his cheek and ear affectionately. "K-Killua, not here." Gon pulls Killua away from him when he started kissing on his neck, Kurapika flushing. Gon gives the boy a kiss on the forehead when the younger looked like he was about to protest. Just then Killua locks eyes with Kurapika, noticing his staring. Those blue eyes narrow at him, Kurapika finding this the right time to speak.

"Sorry about him. He's just worried about Gon is all. You see, Gon means a lot to us. He's a very special friend of ours. We just want him to be happy...and I know you make him happy. If Gon is sure about your character then I trust his judgment." Kurapika stands up. "I know you've heard my name before but lets start over. Hi, my name is Kurapika. The man that yelled at you was Leorio. I want you to know that..." Kurapika smiles gently, looking at the light that had come to Gon's eyes from Killua touching him. "I give you our blessing."

"What?!" Leorio squawks from the other room. "What the hell Kurapika-"

"Really?" Gon's eyes beam and he stands up to hug Kurapika.

"Yes. We approve." Kurapika opens his eyes, only to see that Killua is glaring at him darkly. He lets go of Gon and smiles. "Take care of our friend. If you need anything, don't hesitate to come to us."

"I don't approve!-" Leorio shouts.

"I don't need your approval." Killua grunts, getting up to walk over to Gon, pulling him into a hug.

"Can I have some food?" Alluka runs up to Kurapika and starts to tug on his shirt.

"Of course." Kurapika smiles. "I'll start making the plates up. Excuse me for one moment." Kurapika walks into the room where Leorio went into. Gon knows he's probably going to hurt him.

"Kurapika approvals of you. Don't worry, Leorio will come around." Gon smiles, rubbing the top of Killua's head, those blue eyes boring into his amber.

"I couldn't give two shits about their approval. You're mine." Killua mumbles, nuzzling his head against Gon's.

" I know but it's nice. Kurapika and Leorio are my best friends so...it's good. It makes me feel good." Killua seems to consider this before shrugging his shoulders.

"Then I guess it's good the blonde likes me." Killua thinks before he grins. "Did you see the look on that old man's face when you told him to stop being mean to me? He looked scared." His grin grows before those bangs cover his eyes. "You're protective of me, even to these best friends of yours. You must really have it bad for me."

"Of course! I got it really bad." Gon wraps his arms around him, giving him a kiss on the cheek that flushes soon after. "You know I love you. I'll protect you from whoever I have to. I just know how you're working hard so...I didn't want Leorio being mean to you when you're doing this for me."

Killua starts to purr, those blue eyes brightening. Gon would like to keep doing this but his purring is getting a bit too loud. He lets go of him, giving him a soft smile when Killua glared.

"You're being too loud. I'll give you all the affection you want when we get home." Gon pats the boy on the head. This seems to satisfy him for now.

"Better." He flops himself down on the couch next to Alluka. Soon Kurapika and Leorio come back in, Leorio has a red ear and Kurapika has some plates of food. They all sit and eat in silence. Gon being the one to break it. "This is really good Kurapika."

"Yeah it is!" Alluka smiles brightly over at the blonde that smiles softly.

"Thank you. I'm glad you like it."

The dinner isn't too awkward, even though Leorio is still giving Killua the stink eye and Killua gives him the stink eye in return. They are able to chat and Killua offers a comment or two. Alluka is a bubble of sunshine so she helps a lot. Just when Gon thinks that everyone is getting relaxed, he hears a meow.

"Oh hi baby. Come to join in on the fun?" Kurapika smiles at the orange cat that has gotten bigger. It walks into the room, those big pupils looking around before they fall on Gon. The cat walks towards him. Killua narrows his eyes at the cat, Gon can feel the boy bristle next to him.

"Killua isn't good around cats." Gon says quickly, afraid that Killua is going to say something when the cat gets too close. Gon picks the cat up and walks it over to Kurapika. It purrs in his hold and rubs his head against his chest. Kurapika takes it and smiles.

"I suppose that's why you gave your cats to Gon?" Kurapika questions.

"...Something like that." Killua mumbles, watching as Gon sits down next to him. Gon is so proud of the boy for not hissing or throwing a fit. He'll have to reward him for being good. Killua does grab his hand and squeezes it tightly though, but Gon can handle that. He can feel the possessiveness that Killua is trying to conceal from Kurapika and Leorio in the way he grips his hand. Killua really doesn't like that cat.

Gon wants to chuckle though. It seems ridiculous but he doesn't know much about cats and how they feel or how Killua feels. He should know that Gon would never run off with a cat over him but then again, he was a cat so...it gets a bit complicated.

"So tell me about yourself Killua." Kurapika keeps the conversation going. Leorio still seems to be sulking.

"What do you want to know?" Killua narrows his eyes in suspicion.

"Well...anything. Do you have any hobbies?" Killua raises his eyebrow. "What do you and Gon like doing?" Killua seems to think about this for a second. He must blurt the first thing that comes to mind because Gon is appalled at what his young boyfriend says next.

"Blow jobs."

The room goes quiet. Gon can feel his face get dangerously hot as he looks at Killua with wide eyes, he can not believe he just said that. Kurapika who was about to take a drink has frozen in place. Leorio's eyes are just as wide. Everyone just stares at him. Killua just looks around before raising his eyebrow.

"What?"

"Killua don't just say stuff like that!" Gon winces when his voice gets a bit high.

"They asked what we like doing, and I really like that."

"I-Is there anything else you two like doing?" Kurapika tries to save the conversation but Gon can see Killua's answer has shaken him up. After meeting someone for the first time, the last thing you expect is for them to do is tell you about how they like blow jobs from their boyfriend. Leorio is still frozen over there in his state of shock. Alluka is now playing around with Kurapika's knit knacks of birds, paying no mind to the adults in the room.

"We watch movies together." Gon offers, trying to steer Killua in the right direction before he says something that's not appropriate once again.

"...Yeah I like doing that. I like cooking Gon food. I like playing those board games. I like Youtube. I love chocolate." Killua grins.

"Chocolate you say? Well we have some chocolate chip cookies for desert-"

"I want it." Killua says quickly

"And you said you like to cook for Gon, I could teach you how to make them."

"What do you want in return?" Killua crosses his arms. Kurapika blinks.

"Nothing." Killua doesn't seem to believe him.

"Alluka, do you want to make cookies with Kurapika? We could make cookies here instead." Gon gets up, smiling over at Alluka who beams at him.

"Yeah! I want to make Cookies with big brother!"

"Sounds like a plan." Kurapika stands up, seeming to relax more. Leorio is standoffish. So is Killua. When they all get into the kitchen and start getting ingredients and Kurapika starts teaching Killua and Alluka what to do...Killua starts to chill out. Leorio comes into the room and they're able to make the cookies...

And Gon gets to see Killua and Alluka smile. Gon thinks this is a good step. The cookies tasted pretty good too.

* * *

"See they aren't bad." Gon smiles as he opens up their apartment, walking inside with the two behind him. He frowns when he doesn't see Hisoka, something twisting in his gut.

"They're not that bad. I hate their cat though." Killua growls. Gon's eyes widening when he's shoved against the wall, Alluka closing the door for them and locking it. She runs off into the bedroom.

"Killua?" Gon questions but he's cut off when Killua kisses him deeply, demanding more of him. Gon's eyes slip shut and he groans into the kiss, loving how Killua's body presses against his. He pulls away before nuzzling his chest. He sniffs it and nuzzles his chest again before he growls.

"You're mine." He grabs Gon's hands and starts to lick and kiss them. "These hands are mine." Killua licks up Gon's arm, getting him to cringe slightly but whatever discomfort he had is gone when Killua starts to lick and bite at his neck.

"Killua calm down..." Gon shutters when Killua bites his ear, touching his growing erection through his pants.

"No. I want more. Gon...I don't care much about Kurapika and Leorio but when I was around them, I could smell their connection. They've mated...I want to claim you. I want to make you all mine. I want that cat to know your mine. I want to get closer like they were. I hated how they got to hug and kiss but you kept me at arms length." Killua growls at the end.

"That's because you purr Killua. They can't hear you purr." Gon frowns, reaching out to run his hands through Killua's hair in a calming way. The boy leans into the touch, the purring he was just talking about starting up. Gon's cheeks flush from Killua's straightforward words. It's stirring something inside of him.

"I know but..." Killua licks his lips. He takes off his hat, his ears twitching on top of his head from being released. Those blue eyes gaze at Gon with such fire that Gon can feel it in the pit of his own stomach. "I want you Gon. I want to mate. No one is here now. I can purr all I want. So come on..." Killua pulls at Gon's shirt, leaning close so his lips brush against Gon's. "I want you to take me-"

Gon wraps his arms around Killua, kissing him heatedly, his arm going around his waist and the other caressing his face. Killua tenses only to melt, mewling into the kiss and arching himself to add friction to Gon's clothed member. Gon is starting to be swept away. All his desires for Killua coming at him all at once, all that was holding him back isn't here in this moment.

Gon picks Killua up by his thighs, the boy wrapping his legs around Gon's waist, the two never breaking their lips apart as Gon walks him over to the couch. He lays Killua down gently, hovering over him, his breathing rapid when they break the kiss.

"Gon...ha...do more." Killua's sharp blue eyes shine with something like desperation. He starts to take off his own clothes so Gon stops him. Killua is about to protest but shuts up quickly when Gon takes off his shirt for him and gets to taking off his pants. Soon Killua is completely naked in front of him, splayed out on the couch. His cheeks are flushed, those blue eyes watching him so closely. Gon swallows, feeling himself get too hot.

Killua leans up and takes off Gon's shirt, helping him get undressed. Soon Gon is hovering over the boy, completely naked and aroused. Killua looks more than happy, those blue eyes lighting up because he knows, he's getting what he wants.

"Yes. Gon fuck me." Killua rubs his hot member against Gon's thigh, getting the older man to shiver at such language. Killua smirks when he sees this. "Oh? You like that? Come on Gon, I really want your cock inside me-"

"You've been looking up bad things again haven't you?" Gon's voice is low, husky. He leans down and bites Killua's neck, getting the boy to gasp and to arch into him.

"M-Maybe-ah...yeah..." Killua moans as Gon keeps nipping at his neck. He kisses down to his collar bone and sucks, biting there. He kisses up and latches on to Killua's lips, loving how Killua's purring gets louder. Killua pants when Gon starts to touches his cute dick, with the slightly pink throbbing head.

"Killua do you really want this?" Gon kisses down to his stomach, loving how soft it feels. He lays his forehead on his stomach for a moment, just listening to his breathing.

"I told you I've wanted this." Killua mumbles. "I don't want to wait anymore Gon...I..." Killua's face gets red and he seems to be struggling. Gon smiles and kisses his stomach.

"I love you, Killua. I'm going to take care of you." He keeps his kisses gentle as he goes down and gives Killua the blow job he loves so much.

"Ahh...ahh...Gon..." Killua pants, his body trembling at how Gon's skilled mouth works him, licking and sucking...He thrusts up and chokes Gon once but that's okay. He holds his hips down and rolls his balls in his hand.

The muscle in Killua's leg is starting to twitch, and with the way his moans are getting louder, Gon knows he's not going to last that long. "Gon...hahh...please." Killua begs, grabbing Gon's hair roughly. The older man answers. He gives it all he has, going as fast as he can, licking and sucking the head just like Killua likes. He swirls his tongue over the head before going all the way down and hallowing his cheeks.

Killua mewls when he cums, Gon swallowing it all. When Gon pulls away and wipes his mouth, Killua looks betrayed.

"Gon...I said I want to mate. I don't want just that-" Though he just came, he's starting to get worked up, those blue eyes getting darker, accusing him of trickery.

"I know. I'm not done, Killua. Relax. I'm giving you what you want." Gon kisses Killua deeply. Killua calms down and sighs in the kiss. He starts to turn on his stomach but Gon stops him. "I want to do it this way."

"Huh?" Killua blinks when Gon grabs the lube they had left out from earlier...much to Gon's embarrassment. But at least it's here. He squirts some in his hand before lubing up three of his fingers. "What are you doing?" Killua watches him carefully.

"I'm going to stretch you out first. I don't want to hurt you." Gon sees Killua avert his gaze.

"It doesn't matter if it hurts. If it's you, I don't care. I can deal with the pain." Killua locks eyes with Gon, those blue eyes filled with sincerity and conviction. Gon lets out a breath and smiles gently.

"I still don't want to hurt you. I want this to feel nice. Could you spread your legs Killua?"

Killua does so without a word. He spreads them as far as he can. Gon can't suppress his shutter or the pang of desire that just when through him. He keeps himself in check as he stares at Killua's cute entrance that is twitching. He reaches out and touches it, circling around it with his index finger, glancing up to look at Killua.

The boy has his eyes shut tightly, his face pale. Gon stops and pulls away. "Killua-"

"Why did you stop?" Killua's eyes snap open.

"Killua we don't have to do this. I don't want to upset you. This kind of thing is hard for you-"

"NO! I'm fine! Please Gon!"

"Killua you're sweating-"

"Shit." Killua covers his face for a moment, he takes a deep breath. "I don't know why I'm... _damn it_." Killua hisses. "Even now I'm..."

Gon feels his heart sink at how weak Killua's voice gets. He leans over him to kiss him softly. When Killua seems to relax, Gon pulls back, staring into those blue eyes with passion. "Killua I love you. I would never hurt you. If you want me to stop, I will. I'll wait as long as it takes. You mean everything to me Killua. You're my best friend, lover and family all in one. I don't blame you Killua, you've been through so much and you're so strong Killua. So strong. You've lived through more abuse than most people have to in their entire lives."

Killua's shoulders start to shake and he wraps his arms around Gon. He buries his head into Gon's shoulder, his breath hitching and trembling. "I want you..." Killua's voice shakes but when he pulls away, he smiles, and it's so bright that Gon feels something in him melt. "I really want you...Gon I'm okay. I want this. I want this so much. I know you won't hurt me. I trust you. You're the only one Gon...the only one so...please, make me yours."

Gon feels his desire intensive with this other emotion inside of him and it spurs him on. He kisses Killua like he's dying, consumed in his passion and his lust. His chest hurts from feeling too much in this moment and even though his hand shakes, he's able to insert his finger into Killua. "Are you okay?" Gon asks, pulling away to look at Killua, groaning at feeling his hot insides.

"Fine." Killua grunts, those blue eyes are starting deep into Amber. He doesn't look away when Gon inserts a second finger. Gon leans down and kisses all over his face, gently pulling his fingers in and out, feeling for his special spot. "You're so gentle..." Killua sighs, running his hands through Gon's hair. He moans when Gon kisses his neck.

"I love you Killua. I love you so much." Gon keeps saying this as he kisses all over his body. Killua's breathing has become so ragged, his face now flushed and his eyes watery. He doesn't even wince when he adds a third finger.

"More...More Gon!" Killua throws his head back when Gon finds that spot inside of him and he groans loudly, moving against his three fingers. Gon has reached his limit. Having Killua moan and breathe in his ear and just to see him like this...Gon needs him. Gon pulls out his fingers, Killua hissing at him for doing so, his ears going back.

"I'm going to go inside you Killua." Gon says huskily as he strokes himself up with some lube, Killua watching him with his pupils getting bigger. "Y-You have to tell me to stop now if you don't want it." Killua doesn't say anything. Those blue eyes are locked onto his amber, and they scream at him with lust.

Gon grabs the boy's small hips and lifts him up gently. He lines himself up before he presses against the tight heat. Killua doesn't look away from his amber eyes as the tip is pushed in, he intended to stop but after feeling Killua's tightness...His hips jerk without him meaning too and he's swallowed whole by the boy. Killua makes a sound and Gon feels his heart sink.

"I-I'm sorry Killua...are you okay-"Gon opens his eyes he had closed from the pleasure only to freeze. Killua is smiling, those blue eyes sparkle so much. "It's you Gon...It's you.." He says, those blue eyes getting half lidded. "I'm just fine. This is nothing. Please...I want to see your face when you're feeling good."

Gon's chest tightens, those words and that face causes a lump in his throat but instead of getting emotional, he thrusts. Killua makes soft pants as Gon slowly thrusts in and out of him, those blue eyes never looking away from Gon's face.

"Killua...ahh...Killua!" Gon moans when he picks up the pace, his heat luring him away.

"Fuck!" Killua's eyes widen when he hits his spot, he grabs Gon and scratches him down his back. "More Gon! Gon!" Gon grabs his waist and thrusts with abandon. It doesn't matter his age right now. It doesn't matter what he is. Nothing matters, It's Killua. The boy he loves, the boy that is moaning, and withering beneath him.

It's so hot and warm and tight. All Gon can focus on is those blue eyes and the sweet sounds leaving those lips.

"...Feels...good. Hahh." Gon can feel he's close so he aims and hits Killua's spot head on, reaching out to stroke his cock with his thrusts.

"Gon I'm going to...ah...I'm really about to..." Killua's breath hitches and he arches his back, his mouth opening as he cums, his seed getting on their chests.

"Killua, Killua." Gon chants his name, his body glistened with sweat from all the hard work put into this, his body flushed. With one last thrust into Killua's tight heat, Gon finishes, moaning Killua's name softly.

The two pant, Gon's head is laying on Killua's chest, his hands still on his hips. Gon's eyes widen when Killua's chest starts to shake and he pulls away, the high of his orgasm falling from his concern. Gon stops.

"It felt...good..." Killua is smiling at him again, those blue eyes big with tears spilling over. His face is flushed. He laughs, his ears back, his laugh making his whole body tremble. "It felt _good!_ Gon..." Killua reaches out and touches Gon's face. "You're amazing..." Killua's tears keep spilling, he looks at Gon like he saved him.

"It's suppose to feel good." Gon says softly, wiping away his tears. The feeling in his chest it's just...how can he explain it? What words should he use? Gon leans in and kisses his cheeks. Licking at his tears. "You're the amazing one, Killua."

"Gon...one more time." Killua kisses Gon deeply, it's filled with that desperation and love and lust and... "I love you..." He clings to him.

"I love you too Killua...you should rest-"

"I don't want to rest. I want that feeling again. I want to feel you inside me, I want to be connected to you. You're mine and I'm happy. Gon I'm _happy_. So do it again...and this time, don't hold back. I can take it. You are too gentle." Killua bites Gon's neck, getting him to groan.

"Killua I-" Those lips are on his and he loses himself in the younger boy. Gon feels like crying himself. He loves Killua and he never wants to let him go. He'll protect Killua and Alluka with his life. No matter what happens, he won't let them get taken from him.

Killua moans his name and Gon comes undone. The night is filled with slapping skin, and moans, words of passion and love spoken between them. Gon has unleashed the beast and he knows he can't hold himself back anymore.

Killua is his. He's claimed him and Killua has claimed him as well. As Gon looks into those blue eyes, he feels the fire in his chest grow.

He'll never get enough of Killua. He'll never let him go. It doesn't matter if the world looks down on this relationship. It doesn't matter if this is wrong in the eyes of everyone else because...it's right to him.

Killua has become his world and he's not giving that up.

Killua interlaces their fingers in his passion and Gon can't help but feel they've become intertwined in that moment, connected by a strong bond that had developed and grown from the start.

There's no turning back now. Gon can't hold back anymore.

When they both finish, Gon wraps his arms around Killua, bring his warm body close to his. He kisses the top of his head, mumbling words of endearment sleepily. His warmth and his purr lure him to sleep and sleep Gon does. He gets the best sleep he's gotten in weeks.

* * *

Gon wakes up to the smell of pancakes and bacon. The young adult groans, rubbing at his eyes before he opens them, blinking the sleep away. He stretches his legs out, noticing right away that Killua isn't with him anymore, and that a blanket has replaced him. The slight discomfort he felt from Killua not being there when he woke up leaves him when he sees Killua standing in the kitchen, cooking.

Gon licks his lips, not able to help his wondering eyes as he takes in Killua's bare back and smooth bottom that is exposed. The boy didn't get dressed, Gon is able to see the love marks he made on his skin, which trigger images of their actions last night.

Gon blushes, feeling a bit too hot under this blanket as he sits up, his morning wood feeling a bit more uncomfortable than normal. Despite this he can't help to stare at the boy as he cooks, can't help to feel his chest warm when he hears Killua humming, a kick to his movements. All the worry he had melts away. Killua isn't upset about what they did. He's not hiding from him.

Killua's ears twitch and he turns his head. When he sees Gon staring at him, he grins, those blue eyes lighting up so beautifully that Gon feels his chest seize up. "Like what you see?" He hums, looking pleased when Gon's face gets redder.

"Yes I do." Gon admits, his own smile twisting up higher from the emotions that are spilling out. It's funny that Killua flushes from that even though he was the one being all seductive over there. He turns around to keep cooking.

"You're too cute for your own good." Killua mumbles, flipping a pancake before putting it on a plate.

"I was thinking the same thing about you." Gon chuckles, wrapping the blanket around himself so he can stand without exposing himself to the cold. Gon walks up behind the younger male, waiting till he puts all the food on plates and turns off the stove before Gon wraps his arms around Killua's shoulders, wrapping him up in the blanket at the same time.

Killua's body melts instantly when he feels Gon's hot stomach against his cool back. Killua's body feels so soft. Gon can't help to place a tender kiss on his bare shoulder, the younger groaning softly, pressing his body more against his. "How are you feeling? Are you in any pain?" Gon grabs Killua's chin gently, turning his head so he can see those blue eyes.

Killua turns around quickly, wrapping his arms around Gon's waist, those blue eyes locking unto Gon's amber. He smiles. "I'm feeling great. Don't start worrying about me now. You were so gentle Gon." Killua averts his gaze, his pale cheeks pink as he lays his head on Gon's chest biting at his collar bone to distract himself. "It felt really good."

"I'm always going to worry about you. Even if I was gentle, I'm sure that you're sore. I shouldn't have done it to you twice in one night-"

"No." Killua bites his collar bone harder, getting him to yelp. "I don't even have to look at you to know what face you're making. Stop. I wanted you to do it to me more. So stop making me say that stupid." Killua nips his chest before glaring up at him but the tips of his ears are pink. "I'm completely fine. I'm a little sore but that's it. There's no pain." He grabs Gon's cheeks and pulls. "So don't make a face like you feel bad."

Gon sticks out his tongue and licks some of the fingers pulling at him. Killua releases him, Gon squeezing him tightly, burying his face in the crook of his neck, breathing in the scent that is so Killua. "You really alright?" Gon brushes his fingertips down Killua's spine, the boy shivering and purring at the touch.

"Yeah. Fine." Killua mumbles, kissing at Gon's jaw. "Come on, I made food. I don't want it getting cold." Killua pulls away, before grabbing Gon roughly by the shoulders and kissing him deeply. He pulls away, grinning when he sees how Gon leans in after him.

"You should get some clothes on Killua." Gon mumbles when Killua pulls away from him, turning his back towards him so he sees that tempting little ass again. Gon isn't going to try anything though. He does feel a bit bad for doing it twice to the younger male. Even if he was gentle by Killua's standards, he shouldn't have pushed him. Not the first time they did it. Killua was just so hot, he couldn't help himself. "It's cold."

"I guess I should." Killua's ears twitch when the bedroom door opens and Alluka walks in. Gon flushes when Alluka has this knowing smile on her lips, her blue eyes so bright, they shine.

"Big brother did it!" Alluka cheers, running up to her naked brother without any shame, hugging him tightly. Killua picks his little sister up and spins her around, the younger squealing in delight. "hehe!" Killa puts her down just to nuzzle her.

"Yup. Gon is mine." Killua kisses the top of her head. "I made you some breakfast." Killua pulls away, handing her a plate of food.

"I made you guys a picture!" Alluka is jumping up and down. She looks so excited but Gon has sneaked away to get dressed, feeling too awkward with the younger one seeing them this way. Though Killua doesn't seem to mind at all. Gon comes out once he's been dressed in some jeans and a green shirt. He brings out some clothes for Killua, spotting Killua and Alluka sitting at the table, Alluka chatting away excitedly as she shows her brother a piece of paper.

"Killua don't sit at the table naked." Gon walks over and gives Killua his clothes that he puts on without complaint.

"Gon look at the picture I made!" Alluka beams as she pushes over the piece of paper they were looking at. It's a picture that Gon can tell Alluka took a lot of time on. It's Gon, Killua, and Alluka all standing together outside of what looks like a gingerbread house. The three of them are holding hands and around them is a blue circle. It's very colorful and Gon can tell Alluka was in a cheery mood while drawing this.

"It's beautiful Alluka." Gon smiles, he stands up and gets some tape before putting it up on the wall. Alluka bounces in her seat when she sees this, her eyes widening. "This needs to be displayed."

"Really? I'm glad you like it! That's going to be us right Gon? Now that you have big brother, we won't separate...right?" Alluka's ears twitch on top of her head. Killua looks at her before glancing over at Gon. It looked like he was about to say something but decided to see what Gon would say first.

"Of course not. We're a family now Alluka. I'm not letting you two go for anything." Gon locks eyes with the two that have filled the hole losing Mito had left him, looks at the two people that are his new family. His amber eyes filled with sincerity and conviction.

Killua's lips slowly turn in a smile. He closes his eyes as he goes back to eating his food, a soft chuckle leaving his lips. "You have nothing to worry about sis."

She doesn't. Gon sealed his fate the day he picked up that wounded white cat off the street. He's stuck with Killua and Killua is stuck with him. Even if Gon decided he didn't want to do this anymore, he doesn't think Killua would accept that. Those blue eyes hold powerful emotions and if Gon didn't return them, he's sure it might even scare him.

"Good. I don't want to be ever separated. I want us to always be together." Alluka's blue eyes light up, her tail waving when Gon sits next to Killua. The three of them start to eat, a comfortable, happy silence falling over them. The air is so warm, no tenseness, nothing but good vibes. This is how a home should feel like.

Not cold and empty. But warm and filled with the abounding love he has for these two. He couldn't not ask for anymore. He's been blessed.

"That was good Killua. You're getting better at cooking." Gon smiles as he takes all of their empty plates and walks over to the sink.

"I could have washed them." Killua mumbles, his ears twitching when he sees Gon starting the cleaning.

"Go watch something with Alluka. Relax Killua." Gon's amber eyes soften when they look back at the boy. Killua's ears perk up and he averts his gaze. He's so cute when he blushes.

Gon washes all the dishes and cleans the kitchen table. Once he deems the kitchen alright, he turns around and walks into the living room. Killua and Alluka are cuddled up on the couch, watching a 'Christmas story'. Two things hit Gon all at once. One, Hisoka still isn't here, and two, it's Christmas eve!

Gon shouts, grabbing his head, his eyes widening. Killua and Alluka tense at the sudden change, Killua getting up and running over to him, those blue eyes concerned.

"Gon what's wrong-"

"It's Christmas eve! I haven't done any shopping! I need to...oh man!" Gon runs into his bedroom, grabbing his wallet. Killua and Alluka following him, watching him curiously. "I need to go..." Gon mumbles to himself as he counts all the money he has in his wallet.

"Where do you need to go?" Killua walks over to the dresser. Gon noticing he's getting out a hat and starting to fix his tail into the jeans-

"I have to go alone Killua." Gon winces when he gets a glare from the younger.

"I told you, I'm not letting you out of my sight. I thought we already went through this. Why can't I come?"

"Because...you just can't come Killua. I need to do this on my own." Gon rubs the back of his head when Killua's eyes narrow and he crosses his arms against his chest. Alluka looks between them, her tail flicking restlessly.

"I'm going with you-"

"No Killua. Stay here with Alluka and watch movies. I won't be long. It should only take me two hours to do my task-"

"I'm going." Killua says stubbornly. He narrows those blue eyes, his pupils getting bigger as he gets closer to Gon. "You're starting to sweat. You're hiding something Gon. There's a reason you don't want me going-"

"Killua you're going to have to trust me. You're going to be happy so...just let me go for two hours. Besides, you have to be here just in case Hisoka comes back..." Gon cups Killua's cheeks when the younger keeps glaring at him. He lays his forehead against Killua's, looking into those strange blue eyes that are always watching.

"Killua...I know you're worried about me. I know you love me, but you can't follow me everywhere. You can't come with me to work all the time and you can't come with me to school when it starts. Believe me, if I could, I'd love to have you two with me. But it doesn't work like that. You just have to trust that I'll come back to you Killua, and I always will. I know you don't like me leaving, but I will have to. In order to accomplish my dreams, I can't always be with you but I will always come home to you. Do you understand?"

Killua's eyes tremble as he stares into those amber eyes that burn with passion. The words spoke were firm and steady. True and honest. Killua lets out a long sigh, his shoulders slumping and his ears going back. He bites his lip, looking displeased but Gon can tell that Killua has given in. "I understand but I hope you understand Gon that if you don't come back I'll find your ass and bring you back."

Gon chuckles, his chest feeling warm as he rubs his nose against Killua's. "I wouldn't want it any other way."

"Come back in two hours. If you don't, I'm coming after you." Killua's blue eyes look at him firmly, despite the purring he's doing from Gon rubbing through his white locks. Gon knows he's serious.

"I won't take longer than two hours." Gon smiles, leaning in to kiss Killua on the nose. "I'm going to call Komugi so she can watch you guys."

"Why? We don't need her-"

"Yay!" Alluka cheers, throwing her arms in the air. Her ears perked up. "Komugi is coming over!"

"That's why." Gon grins when Killua's ears twitch lower in defeat at how excited his sister looks. "Also, Komugi likes getting out of the house. She enjoys watching you two."

"Ugh fine."

"Hey Gon." Gon who was about to walk into the living room to find the phone to call Komugi stops when he hears Alluka's soft voice. Gon looks over at the younger girl who is pulling at her shirt, those blue eyes shifting this way and that.

"What's wrong Alluka?" Gon turns his full attention on her.

"Can I...Can I talk to Komugi as...me?" She points to herself. She seems nervous. "Komugi can't see so...I can be myself with her! I think that maybe we could be really good friends...I want to color with her and speak with her."

Gon's eyebrows furrow at the request. It's true that Komugi wouldn't be able to tell anything was up...unless she touched Alluka's ears but Komugi isn't one to start feeling on others randomly. What would he tell Komugi though? She would wonder why he has a little girl at his home. Gon opens his mouth only to close it when he sees those blue eyes looking at him hopefully. He melts.

"I'll see what I can do." Gon says, and despite not knowing how, his chest warms when he sees how Alluka's eyes sparkle.

"This could be risky." Killua mumbles as they walk into the living room together. "Even if she can't see."

"I know but...maybe I could say something like you two are my cousins who are visiting?" Gon tries it out. But cousins would mean that Mito...or his father's siblings children. He doesn't know any of his father's family but Komugi doesn't know that. "Just keep her from touching your ears or tail."

"Yeah. I'll watch her..." Killua glances back at his sister who is still running around, getting together her coloring books and such. Killua smiles. "You've made her happy. I think my sister has always wanted a girl to play with. Our mother wasn't someone you would play with. She's only had me all this time...now she has you and she is making more friends." Gon's heart beats faster at seeing how those blue eyes get lighter before the boy is grinning at him. "I've made a good choice in mates."

"Y-Yeah." Gon rubs the back of his head, feeling flustered and almost shy from those emotions that Killua is showing him. He didn't know what it could do to him...or how happy it could make him feel. "So have I."

Killua's grin turns more into a smile, Gon not able to look away, and he doesn't want to. He wants to see every expression Killua makes. He wants to see how his face shows his happiness. He wants to remember this moment and he wants more of it.

"Yeah did you notice?" Killua gets closer, grabbing Gon's wrist, pulling his hand up to his face.

"Notice what?" Gon blinks when Killua licks his fingers. Gon's eyes widen when he does it a second time. "Wha...?"

"Mmhmm." Killua puts one of Gon's fingers in his mouth, sucking on it and licking it gently. Gon feels on his teeth, feeling how much duller they are.

"How did you do that?" Gon breathes out in awe, feeling a shiver go down his spine when Killua sucks on his finger, the moist heat feeling nice.

"The same way I'm able to change my eye color and change into my cat form. After yesterday it came more easily. It seems I'm becoming more human." Killua pulls Gon's finger out of his mouth, an acceptance in his eyes. "Or at least I'm able to be more like you."

"Wow that's amazing Killua. Can you change your mouth back or is it stuck like that?" Killua licks him and his tongue is rough again.

"I can go back. Just as I can go back and forth between my cat form. Once I'm able to morph my body once, it's easier to do it the next time." Killua licks his cheek and his tongue is soft. Killua pulls away with a mischievous grin. "So you know what this means Gon."

Gon feels the blush reach his neck, and the warmth spread a bit lower. He knows actually what it means, and from the smug smirk on his lips, Gon knows Killua can smell what that did to him.

"Killua don't get me hot and bothered before I leave." Gon whines, grabbing Killua and shaking the boy who's ears perk up in surprise. "You're too hot!"

"Well you're too cute so I can't help it." Killua grumbles, his cheeks flushing when Gon pulls and kisses him deeply. The soft tongue is nice...Killua melts into the kiss but when he starts to groan, Gon pulls away, wiping the saliva off his lips. Killua glares at him. "Oi I wasn't done-"

"I have to call Komugi." Gon chuckles, touching Killua on the nose before he walks over and grabs the phone. "Aw don't look like that Killua." He rubs the younger boy's head in attempt to get that glare off his face. It loosens up and he starts to purr, his eyes slipping shut when he scratches behind his ears.

Gon listens to the phone ring after he dials in Komugi's number. He keeps petting Killua as he explains to Komugi that he needs to do some Christmas shopping. He also explains he has his two cousins here and that he would like her to watch them. Komugi is more than happy to do so.

Soon enough there's a knock on the door. Gon smiles. She wasted no time. She sounded like she wanted to get out. Her voice was grateful.

Gon opens the door. "Come in! It's freezing out there. I was going to get you. You didn't have to rush over here." Gon chuckles at the excited gleam that's in those distant looking eyes.

"I c-couldn't help it. Are they in the room?" Komugi's eyes shift around as Gon closes the door behind her, getting rid of the cold air. There's some snowflakes on her eyelashes, and her breathing comes out in puffs.

"One of them is. Komugi this is Killua." Gon grabs Killua's wrist and holds it out for Komugi to touch. Killua narrows his eyes but Gon holds his hand there just so Komugi can give him a hand shake.

"Killua like your cat?" Komugi smiles.

"Yes I named the cat after him."

"Oh I see."

"Alluka come in here so you can meet Komugi!"

"I-I'm coming!" Alluka quickly runs out of the bedroom, her cheeks slightly flushed from running around and freaking about being able to speak and play with the other girl. Alluka's eyes light up when Komugi looks in her general direction and smiles. "Hi, I'm Alluka! I want to be friends!" she comes closer, her tail flicking restlessly.

"Well hello Alluka. I-I'm sure we will be friends. You have a-a kind voice. I can tell." Komugi's smile grows as she holds out her hand, reaching out for Alluka. Gon grabs Alluka's wrist and leads her hand closer so Komugi can grab it and shake it. "Normally, people only have looks to go on at first glance. But if you listen carefully t-the voice is all you really need. You sound young. How o-old are you?"

"I'm-"

"She's 12 years old." Gon stops her before she says her age in cat years.

"W-Wow! I remember when I was that young. Wasn't too long ago either." Komugi smiles before she blinks. "Is Killua still here? I haven't heard his voice-"

"I'm right here." Killua grunts. Gon gives him a look but Killua doesn't get closer to Komugi. He just watches her carefully.

"You're a bit older." Komugi smiles all the same. "I-I'm not sure how I can entertain you too but I-"

"Lets draw together!" Alluka cheers, grabbing Komugi's hand and pulling her over to the floor where all her papers and crayons are.

"O-Okay." Komugi's smile is back as she sits down. Alluka hands her crayons and tells her which ones are which. Gon can't help to smile seeing those two. Alluka is chatting away a mile and minute. It's too cute.

"Be good Killua." Gon gives Killua a peck on the lips. "I'm about to head out Komugi! I'll be back in two hours-" A hand grabs his wrist. He looks back at Killua who is giving him a firm look.

"Two hours." He repeats. "Or I'm coming."

"I know. You shouldn't have worried furrows in your brow at your age Killua." Gon touches the space between his eyebrows. He leans in and kisses it. "I'll be back." Killua closes his eyes when Gon scratches behind his ears, trying to calm him. It works. Gon puts on his jacket after Killua looks okay.

"You better." Killua watches Gon as he opens up the front door. Gon locks eyes with him and smiles gently.

"I'll be back." He repeats.

Killua's ears twitch and he nods slowly, that firm look dissolving and showing the vulnerable side the boy tries to hide.

"Bye Gon!" Both Komugi and Alluka wave at him. Gon smiles.

"Goodbye."

And then Gon is out of the warmth and into the cold, closing the door behind him. Only then does Gon let out a long sigh. With everything going on, he completely forgot about shopping. He has a lot of people to shop for too. He needs to get Killua and Alluka some decent presents...Good thing he's looked at their Christmas lists so much he knows what they want from memory...He needs to get thigns for Kurapika and Leorio...Komugi ...and something for Hisoka right?

Gon frowns at the thought of the older man. He really is worried. This is strange for him to be gone for so long. Gon can't help to think of the lab and if they've somehow captured Hisoka again. If they did that, the scientists would have already been at his door by now right?

What could Hisoka be doing then?

Gon shakes it off. Presents. He needs to get everyone a present. Christmas is tomorrow! He'll be damned if he doesn't make Killua and Alluka's first Christmas special.

It's the first Christmas where he's feeling the joy again since Mito's passing. He won't let this chance leave him. He'll get something for everyone! Maybe Hisoka will show back up on Christmas, that way he'll be able to get his gift...

Gon smiles to himself. He's so excited.

* * *

Kurapika: scented candle, and T shirt of his favorite band.

Leorio: A gift card to Drunken times.

Komugi: A stuffed penguin.

Alluka: A cute blue dress, hair pins, stuffed animal. A painting set.

Hisoka: Hair gel...because he always seems to be trying to brush his hair back. Also a outfit that will fit him.

Killua:Chocolate. An elf shirt because Killua loved the movie. A nice shirt and hat. And a scary game for the system that Killua might like.

Gon looks at all the bags he has, making mental notes in his head about what gift belongs to who. He sighs in relief. He's out of money and almost out of time. He only has thirty minutes to get back to his apartment before Killua comes out looking for him. Gon needs to somehow hide all these things...

"What you got there?" A deep voice purrs in Gon's ear. He tenses, jumping away but as soon as he moves away he recognizes the voice.

"Hisoka?!" Gon turns and there he is. Hisoka smirks at him. He's in some tight black jeans and that's it. Those black jeans aren't Gon's. His ears and tail are no where to be seen. "Where have you been? I was worried!"

"You were worried? How cute." Hisoka's lips curl. "I was just doing this and that...exploring." Hisoka sniffs him and smirks. "ohhh. It seems you were having fun while I was gone."

Gon blushes, Hisoka's eyes gleaming. "So cute-"

"Hey! Don't peek!" Gon pulls the bags behind his back when Hisoka had started looking. Hisoka blinks before he raises his eyebrow.

"Why not? What are you hiding little one?" Hisoka smirks. "I know Santa isn't real. Are these presents for Alluka and Killua?"

Gon deflates a bit but he should have expected this. Hisoka seems to know more than Killua and Alluka. "Yes they are. And I have gifts for you too so no peeking! And don't tell Killua and Alluka about Santa!"

Hisoka's smirk slowly falls off his lips. "You've gotten something for me?" He looks surprised.

"Of course. If you're staying with us, then you're apart of the family too. I didn't know if you were going to come back but if you were, I wanted you to have something to open."

"You are just full of surprises." Hisoka seems to think to himself before he smirks, closing his eyes in his smile. Gon is put off by it. "But so am I." Hisoka's smile leaves his face, those yellow eyes locking with his. "You're going to come with me little one." He grabs Gon's arm and starts to pull him.

"Where are we going?" Gon frowns. "I told Killua I would be back in two hours and-"

"We're going to the lab. There's a lot of people that want to meet you there-"

"What?" Gon's eyes widen, he doesn't want to drop the gifts but with Hisoka pulling him... He's going to have to do something.

"Don't you trust me? I'm a part of your family aren't I? Well, it's best you come with me. It will be a lot easier." Hisoka's lips turn in a smirk when Gon fights against him and gets out of his grip. "Alas, you always pull away from me to run to Killua but this time it's a mistake. I'm the better choice." He coos.

"Hisoka what are you trying to do? The lab is the last place any of us want to be. Killua and Alluka want to leave that behind and if there's anyone who wants to talk to me there, it's not good." Gon takes steps back. He glances around, not seeing anyone out on the road. It's dead silent. He's alone.

"There's just no use fighting it anymore. The game is over." Hisoka's smile keeps getting wider. Gon swallows. He is no match for Hisoka. He knows that. His instincts are telling him to run. Though that smirk is like always, there's something about those yellow eyes that tells Gon he's not playing around.

Hisoka takes a step forward, and that's when Gon books it. He runs as fast as he can, gripping into the bags, not having the heart to leave them behind. "Gon you're making the wrong choice~" Hisoka chuckles and soon Gon can hear he's running after him. By the sound of it Hisoka is gaining on him. Gon grinds his teeth as he runs as fast as he can...wondering if it would be better if there was someone, anyone that could help him.

...He's about to drop the gifts when he hears Hisoka stop chasing after him suddenly. Gon stops running and turns to look at him. Hisoka is looking past him, a serious expression on his face. "...Hisoka what-" Gon turns his head to where he's staring. His eyes widen when he sees a man standing a few feet off. Gon has never seen such long hair, the black locks move with the soft wind, contrasting with the white of the snow. Gon has never seen him around, and those black empty eyes are getting him to shiver.

"Who-" Gon never gets to finish. In a blink of an eye that man is right on him. He grabs Gon by the neck, cutting off his air immediately. Gon drops the bags as he's lifted off his feet easily, grabbing this man's wrist and kicking out helplessly.

"You smell of Kil." The man throws Gon down harshly, the icen concrete hitting him hard on the side. Gon cries out, holding his side, his face in the snow. He feels his cheeks go numb, his breathing coming out in harsh puffs of smoke. The man reaches out, Gon can see his normal hands starting to change, his nails getting longer-

"I wouldn't kill him just yet. The humans want to have a go at him." Hisoka coos, walking over to stand by Gon's body.

"Yes. That's true." The man's empty black eyes lock onto Gon's amber ones. "You smell of Kil. So tell me where you've taken him."

"No..." Gon trembles. He doesn't know who this guy is but he has a feeling he's one of those bastards from the lab...or maybe another experiment. He's very strong. Gon's amber eyes burn with fury as he gets up, getting ready to fight this guy, to protect his family. "You won't have them-"

Hisoka hits the back of Gon's head. The blow was so fast that the pain didn't register. There was just a static and then everything went black.

* * *

"Why did you stop him?" Those black eyes question Hisoka, the man tilting his head. "He was no threat to me."

"I'm very interested in what the humans want to do to him. You would have killed him Illumi, and that would have ended the fun." Hisoka sticks out his hip, those yellow eyes glancing down at Gon's limp body in the snow, taking in the blood that's leaking out of his head and tainting the snow red.

"This human will be dead soon either way." Illumi leans down, he feels Gon's pockets before pulling out his wallet. He takes out his license and looks at his address. "Hmm...I think I passed this apartment complex on the way here. It's not far off."

"I'll do the honors of-" Hisoka is about to lift Gon off the ground but Illumi picks him up first. He slings him over his shoulders, those black eyes never blinking.

"I will carry the human. Dead or alive, he still has Kil's scent. I'm very interested in that." Illumi turns on his heel and starts walking, carrying Gon with him.

Hioska watches him walk for a minute before following. He stops when he spots the bags of presents Gon had dropped. Those yellow eyes lower for a moment before he picks the bags up and starts to walk after Illumi.

* * *

"How does this look? A-Am I drawing a person? I'm not sure." Komugi giggles, a soft flush on her face from laughing with the younger girl.

"Sort of!You just made a big head. Here I'll help." Alluka beams as she holds Komugi's hand and uses it to draw with the crayon she's holding.

"Are you g-giving the person wavy hair?" Komugi questions.

"Yup! I'm drawing you!" Alluka nuzzles up against the other girl.

"Drawing myself...that's a first." Komugi musses as she lets Alluka help her with the drawing.

"Hey Komugi...do your eyes hurt?" Alluka asks, glancing over at those strange eyes that have widen slightly at the soft question. "I know you can't see...did they get hurt?"

"No they d-don't hurt. I was born this way. They didn't get h-hurt." Komugi smiles, not offended by the questions.

"Is it scary? Not being able to see?" Alluka asks, holding her new friend's hand. " I think I would be scared if I couldn't see...I would be sad if I couldn't see big brother or Gon."

"It can be scary but...the world you see and the world I live are different. I don't know what I am missing but I think that's for the best. I can imagine what things look like. My blindness is a burden on my family but if you asked me if being blind hurts...I would tell you I'm not suffering. There's a world I see that you won't see. It's my little secret." Komugi rubs Alluka's hand. "I do not need to see you, or Gon, or Killua to enjoy your company. I don't need to see flowers to know their beauty either...I s-suppose I'm not making much sense." Komugi chuckles nervously at the end.

"No you are! That's amazing Komugi! You're amazing. I want to see your world." Alluka sits up in her excitement. "I'm glad it doesn't hurt. I wish you could see me like I can see you though..." Alluka's ears flatten. She blinks when Komugi touches her face lightly, feeling on her facial features.

"I see you Alluka." Komugi pulls away and smiles. "Such soft skin and features. You're a beautiful young girl."

Alluka flushes, her blue eyes lighting up so much. In her happy state, she bursts out the first thing that comes to her. "Komugi do you want to be a part of our family?"

"Huh?" Killua who was staring out of the window,whips his head over, his eyes wide. "Sis she can't be a part of our family-"

"T-That's okay Alluka. I don't want to intrude. You have a v-very nice family." Komugi's strange eyes have lighten up, just at the offer.

"I do now...I have Gon and big brother...Gon says you don't like being at your house. Why?" Alluka watches as Komugi averts her gaze.

"As I said, I am a burden to them. I-It's okay though. I can't do much. If not for the disability check, I would have n-nothing to offer them. I don't have to see their expressions to k-know how they look at me." Komugi fiddles with her dress. "T-This must be depressing for you! Lets draw some more-"

"My old family didn't like me either. I've only had my big brother. They never saw me as part of the family...I thought that was okay too. As long as I had big brother, it didn't matter. Even if I only big brother loved me, that was enough. But now I have Gon too and it's been great. That's why you should join our family Komugi! We could be our own family." Alluka grabs Komugi's shoulders, her blue eyes shinning with determination.

Killua opens his mouth to say something but he stops when he sees the look on Aluka's face...and how those blue eyes look at this human.

Alluka tenses when she sees the tears falling down Komugi's cheeks and soon she's hugging Alluka tightly and wailing, snot dripping all down her nose. Killua gets up and moves closer, getting a bit tense from the sudden contact.

"I-I'm sorry! Gon and you...your family...has always been so kind. S-so kind to someone like me. I'm just so happy...I-I don't know what to do. No one has treated me...as you and Gon have."

"Starting now Komugi, is a part of our family!" Alluka says firmly as she tightens her grip around the other girl. "Gon is really nice. He took us away from our bad family so he can take you away too!"

"Sis you shouldn't be speaking for Gon." Killua frowns when Alluka glares at him.

"I-I don't need something like that...just this is enough." Komugi smiles, holding Alluka close. She calms herself down. "Lets draw some m-more Alluka."

"Okay!" Alluka smiles, pulling away to get more sheets of paper out. Killua's eyebrows furrow. Alluka has already decided that this human is a part of their family. He knows that look in her eyes. She's been rubbing herself on the human discretely, marking her.

...It's not that Killua would really care if this human came in their circle if she could make Alluka smile like that. Komugi is no threat to him. She's not strong nor will she have a chance of taking Gon from him.

Speaking of Gon...he should be home any minute now. Killua glances at the clock. He has 15 more minutes before Killua goes out looking for him. Instead of worrying himself like he's been admittedly doing for the past hour, he thinks instead of what he has to look forward to.

Gon is going to come back to him. Gon said he would and Killua trusts him. Killua knows Gon loves him and his sister. He's not going to let them go.

Killua finds his lips twitching into a smile, that warm feeling buzzing in his chest. Last night was amazing. It wasn't horrible. It wasn't traumatizing. Gon was so, so gentle. Really. And it felt good. It felt really good. Killua would have never imagined he would enjoy laying with a human but Gon is his one and only exception.

Gon made him feel beautiful and wanted and warm when he was inside him. He spoke words of love. It was nothing like when those other humans had their way with him. Nothing at all. It was like every thrust, every moan of his name, every endearment he spoke, replaced all the bad memories and saved him.

Last night changed something inside of him. Killua had decided that he wanted to be as close as he could be to Gon. He wanted to be able to give him everything that he needed...He wanted to be more like him. More human. The more human he is, the more he will be able to travel out with him. The more human he becomes, the more he can understand Gon.

He wants everything Gon has to offer. Killua would follow Gon anywhere. He can't be without him anymore. He could never leave. How stupid, how foolish would he have been if he left after he healed? If he left, Killua would have never been saved by that bright smile.

He would never have been able to feel like this.

When Gon comes home, Killua wants to shower him with kisses. He want to curl up in bed with him and make him feel good. He wants to hear him moan his name and look at him, only him with those amber eyes filled with passion. He wants to leave marks all over his body so everyone knows that Gon belongs to him.

"Come on..." Killua's tail flicks as he watches the clock. There's only 5 minutes left. Killua's eyebrow twitches. He was serious that he would come after him! Gon better know that. Because he will leave if he's not here-

Killua's ears twitch. His eyes widening. "Shit!" The front door is kicked off the hinges, flying across the room and breaking through the wall of the bedroom. Killua jumps so he's in front of Alluka and Komugi, his pupils becoming longer and his eyes sharper. Killua's hiss stops when he takes in Illumi...but not just illumi.

He's holding Gon. He has Gon. Killua can smell blood, Gon is bleeding and he's not moving. A panic seizes his chest and freezes him. He forgets how to breath.

"W-What's happening? Who's there?" Komugi screamed when the door had been banged down. Now she's trembling, looking around, feeling around. Alluka hugs her, the blind girl being able to feel how much Alluka is trembling. "Who is there?" Komugi tries firmer this time, though it wavers in her fear.

"My, is it a party in here or what?" Hisoka comes into the room, dropping the bags he was holding. He smirks at the look of pure fear on everyone's faces.

"It's been too long." Illumi drops Gon's body on the ground, it falling with a thud. Killua's breathing wavers at this, his pupils honing in on his mate, a bead of sweat falling down his cheek.

"I've missed you Kil. It's time to go home."

* * *

 **Ohh shit. Thank you all for being patient and for your support. We're getting to the turning point of the story now...Please review! And i'll see ya next time.**


	15. Chapter 15

"Ugh..." Gon groans, spreading his limps out, clenching his fists. His eyes flutter open, the first thing he's able to see is his legs. He's curled into himself, on a hard surface and his head is killing him. It throbs painfully. Gon closes his eyes, disoriented and his thoughts hazy.

"Are you waking up?"Gon's eyebrows furrow at the voice. He doesn't recognize it. He forces his eyes open, hissing when lights suddenly turn on. "I'm impressed. I thought you would be out for much longer. I'm glad, I have to say." By the voice, Gon knows it's a man. He turns his head and opens his eyes, trying to fight pass the sharp pain in his skull. He can't look up at the bright light, but he can see the man's body standing next to him, dressed in white.

"...Who...are you?" Gon asks, his throat feeling parched, his voice is rough.

"Curious aren't you?" The man's lips turn at the word curious. "It seems you're in a bit of pain. Let me help you out." Gon tenses up when he feels him grab his wrist. He rips his hand away, not sure what this man is trying.

"I'm just going to give you some morphine in your IV. You're a medical student. See what I'm doing?" Gon looks down at his wrist, seeing that he has an INT in place. He licks his lips, watching as this man cleans the port and screws on the needle. Gon can't be sure it's morphine but in this state, he's not much of a fight. He can't even move his body, but now that he's been moving, he realizes it's because something is holding him down, large straps.

Gon sighs in relief when the pain starts to dull away, a soft humming in his brain. "I'll get you something to drink." The man walks away only to come back with a glass of water. Gon tries to sit up but he can't. He can't reach the water.

"Oh yes that's right." The man hums as he puts the water down and gets to work releasing him from the leather straps that had him in place on this table. Gon sits up and grabs the water, drinking it, closing his eyes, and groaning from how good the cold water feels on his dry flesh. "It's been a couple of days, drink well."

A couple of days? Gon finishes up the water, looking up at this man, finally seeing his face. Or at least part of it. The man is wearing a mask, covering his nose and lips. His green eyes twinkle and Gon has the feeling he's smiling under that mask of his. Gon feels a slight panic fill him when he looks around, noticing the room that looks like a hospital room but this table...is more like a operating table. There's tubes of blood on another table off to the side and X Ray pictures hanging up.

Gon's eyebrows furrow and this seems to please the man who hasn't torn his gaze from the young adult. "Surprised aren't you?"

"Yeah..." What is this? Is this really happening? It feels so surreal. "What is this place? And how did I get here? The last thing I remember I was shopping and then..."

Gon's eyes widen, his chest tightening in panic when he remembers that man with the empty black eyes. He had wanted to take Killua! He was attacked from behind...He's sure Hisoka did it. "I have to get home! Killua!" Gon turns his body, not caring that he feels lightheaded and he most likely will fall on his face. He needs to protect his family. He can't let that man take him-

"He's here." Gon's amber eyes widen and he whips his head up at this man. Those green eyes seem to be watching him more closely. "Such a reaction! Here you are, in this strange place, and the first thing you think of is Killua! Interesting!"

Something clicks in Gon's head, his breathing coming out in uneven puffs as he glares at this guy with everything he has. "Where is Killua?"

"You'll see him soon. You don't have to look at me so meanly. I've been taking care of you all this time. You should be nicer." This man points at Gon's head. He reaches up and feels the bandages there.

"You're one of them aren't you? One of those scientists...this is the lab isn't it?" Gon tries to calm his beating heart but he can't. If this is the lab, he's failed Killua and Alluka. Killua is here. That man must have got to them. Hisoka must have told him where he lived...Gon grips his fist to the point where his knuckles turn white, a rage over taking him-

"Whoa! Such a dangerous expression!" The man giggles, dancing back when Gon went to grab him. Gon stands up and stumbles a bit, feeling a little dizzy from the drugs. "I see you're curious! Very curious! But you are right, right, _right!_ You recognized it didn't you? I have to say I've been a fan of you since you busted our defenses! I can't treat you too well, because you're a traitor and all...but I am very much a friend to you. I'm very curious about you."

"Where is Killua and Alluka? Have you hurt them?" Gon growls, feeling satisfied when he sees a slight shiver in the man. But after seeing how those green eyes have lighted up, it might not have been from fear.

"I haven't done a thing! I can see that you're angry but hurting me won't help you. I just have a few questions I want to ask you, and then I'll take you to see them."

"...You'll take me to see them?" Gon steadies himself, feeling tired from the drug's effects on his body. "How can I trust you? You're one of them. You're one of the bastards that's...been torturing Killua his whole life-"

"I suppose that is one way to look at it." The man tilts his head. "I just do what is necessary for the sake of this country, and for the sake of enlightenment."

"Bull shit." Gon's amber eyes burn. "How can anything that you've done to Killua be good for our country or for anyone-"

"Curious one you are." The man hums. "I'll answer your questions, but you have to answer mine. We have to play fair."

"...Take me to Killua." Gon leans against the wall. Damn it. How much morphine had this guy give him? He couldn't see too well.

"I will. I will. But first, work." The man walks over to his desk and picks up a file. "Your name is Gon Freecss. Age, 22. you currently are in medical school with average grades. A couple of years back you lost your aunt that raised you. You've never met your father and your mother died while giving birth to you. Your blood type is O. No allergies. Been to the hospital once for a broken arm when you were 12. 20/20 vision. Hearing normal. No deformities. All lab tests normal."

"How do you know about my aunt?" Gon grips his fists. "How do you know all that about me?"

"It's easy when you have excess to everyone's files. It's not hard to find all you need to about a person. You see, Gon, when I look at all this, it still doesn't tell me all I need to know. I've grown more curious. You are a normal human but there Is something very special about you indeed." The man places the file down, those stale green eyes locking with Gon's burning amber orbs. "I still have questions that need to be answered."

This is a lot to take in all at once. From what he can put together, he's been out for a couple of days. Possibly in a coma, and this man has been taking care of him. He hadn't' given him anything to drink by mouth that was for sure but his head has been wrapped with care. This man has been doing tests and research on him, Gon is sure of that. He's gotten all this information on him but...all he can think about is Killua. Killua has been here for a couple of days, so has Alluka. He needs to get to them.

"I need-"

"It's very shocking. Gon Freeces, you have done something that we haven't been able to do here. You've made a bond with Killua. You've made it so Killua cares about you. You've given him human emotions. You've given him a conscious. Don't you see? Killua actually came in without a fight just to save your life. He came back to the very place he hates, just to save your life. Not only that, but since he's been here, he hasn't stopped asking about you and screaming your name and screaming at us. He's gained more power and it's just..." The man shivers. " _Incredible._ You've completely changed our experiment. How did you do it Mr. Freeces?"

Gon trembles. Killua...he came here without a fight? Just to save him? He shouldn't have. He should have left with Alluka. Gon had promised he wouldn't let the scientists take him...and here he is, his own weakness the reason why Killua and Alluka are back in this mess.

"Killua isn't a experiment." Gon snarls out, that rage coming back as he glares at this man. "I didn't do anything but love him and care for him like a human being should. You give our kind a bad name! How could you do this? How sick can you be? So many things you've done to Killua and Alluka...they're so young!-"

"Love? So it's true. You are his mate aren't you?" The man's eyes crinkle. "Very, very _interesting!_ You say you just loved him and cared for him but...there is much more to it than that! You've gained his trust! You've gained his loyalty! You did our work for us, so I have to say, thank you. You've made me very interested and _curious._ So many question are running through my head...Would you like to see Killua now?"

"Yes." Gon had opened his mouth to throw out insults but at hearing the last question, Gon's chest tighten. He immediately spoke. Yes, he wants to see Killua. He needs to see him. If Gon wasn't feeling so sluggish, he would have made a run for it but even he knows at this point he has no chance of escape or even finding Killua.

Only this man before him can take him to Killua.

"Come, Come then! We need you to calm him down anyway. He's killed a great few of our men. The only way to keep him behaved was to tell him that you would be coming and that you would be okay if he behaved." The man hums as he grabs Gon's wrist and starts to pull him out of the room.

"Where is Alluka...is she with Killua?" Gon takes a deep breath, focusing on walking.

"No. She's in another room. We can see her as well! She's been pretty feisty...because of you. She's made a bond and she seems to think that you are her family now. You're _amazing_ Gon. You've really helped us out here-"

"Stop saying that." Gon grits his teeth, grabbing this man's hand and squeezing as hard as he can. "Stop complimenting me as if what I did was good for _you_ and your fucking experiments. Alluka and Killua _are_ my family-"

"Yes, yes. I see that. But you have helped us here." The man winces from the pain but he doesn't' try to take his hand away. He just keeps walking, leading Gon deeper into this place. He tries to take in where he is, just so he can remember the way Killua is but...everything looks the same. This hallway is never ending. They make a right and a left...then they stop at this door. "Your family is here."

Gon grabs the door, tugging with all his might but it doesn't open. The man grabs him and pulls him away from the door. Soon it opens by itself. Gon rushes in, bumping into the wall as he does so but he doesn't care. He keeps running. "Killua!" Gon calls, wanting to hear his voice desperately.

"G-Gon!" Gon stops stumbling, his amber eyes locking on the boy that just choked his name. Gon feels his heart sink, and slow down. Killua is chained to the wall, his body bare. His pale skin is flushed with beatings, and there's fresh cuts on his chest and arm. There's dried blood around his feet, and with how puffy Killua's eyes are, Gon is sure he's been crying. "Oh God Gon! You're _alive!_ " His shoulders shake, those blue eyes never looking away, not blinking.

Gon runs over to the boy, feeling his own eyes water from seeing him in such a state. He stumbles a bit but he's able to make it to Killua without falling. He hugs the boy tightly, burying his face in his neck. Gon's lips quiver, all the guilt and anger, and the effects of the drugs, getting him to fall to his knees, sliding down Killua's body.

Killua breaks free of his chains and falls down with him, wrapping his arms around Gon, hugging him so tightly he can barely breathe. "Gon...Gon it's really you. Are you okay? Have they done anything to you?" Gon feels the tears fall at Killua's concern for him. Why is he so weak?

"Killua why did you come here? You should have took Alluka and ran-"

"I couldn't leave you." Killua breathes in his scent, his body trembling. Gon hugs him tightly and he calms down. "I can't Gon. I can't lose you." Killua's hands are in his hair. Gon strokes up and down Killua's back, feeling a lump form when he feels the fresh cuts. He rubs Killua's shoulders, trying to give him comfort. Trying to do something. Killua's voice is so soft and scared.

"Oi. What did you do to him? He was stumbling when he came in." Gon's eyes widen when Killua's voice turns dark and angry.

"I gave him some pain medication. His head was bugging him. He's just a bit out of it." The man that brought Gon in speaks. "Don't look so mean. I've brought you Gon just like you asked. He hasn't been damaged either. I've been taking good care of him. Just keep being good, and it will stay like this-"

"I want Gon out of here." Killua grips the back of Gon's shirt tightly.

"A selfless act but I'm sorry to say he's here to stay. I'm very...curious about him."

Gon's eyes widen when Killua suddenly hisses, letting go of Gon so he can get in front of him in a protective stance, his pupils getting longer along with his nails-

"Calm down Killua, or I'm going to have to hurt Gon." The man sighs when Killua narrows his eyes.

"You're not going to do any of your fucking experiments on Gon. He's off limits-"

"No one is off limits." The man chuckles. When Killua makes a move to attack, he presses a button. Gon cries out when a shock goes through him, making his extremities throb. Killua's ears twitch and he stops, turning to look at Gon, his face going pale.

"You d-didn't." Killua runs back to Gon, wrapping his arms around him when Gon had whimpered in pain. Killua runs his fingers though Gon's hair, his tail puffed up. Killua swallows thickly, looking over at this man, his attitude changing completely. "Don't hurt him." Killua says softly, covering Gon with his body as if he could shield him.

"I won't hurt him as long as you are good Killua. I don't want to hurt Gon. You make me do it-"

"Fuck you." Gon snarls once the pain goes away. He glares darkly at this man, and goes to punch him but Killua hugs him tightly, not letting him get closer to this man. "What did you do to me?-"

"Curious?" The man tilts his head. "I put in a little device...Just so I could have control. Don't worry. I won't use it unless I have to. I don't want to hurt you."

"You-"Gon tries to move towards this man again, his anger making his face flushed but Killua stops him yet again, tightening his grip on him. "Killua-"

"Don't Gon. Don't. He'll hurt you." Killua's voice is firm but there's a tone of desperation as he clings to him with much strength. Gon couldn't pry himself away even if he tried his hardest. "I'll do whatever you want. Just...Just don't hurt him." Gon feels his heart sink at how weak Killua's voice had gotten at the end.

"I won't." The man seems pleased. Gon grinds his teeth. Though Killua won't loosen his hold on him, he turns his head so he can glare darkly at this man who's eyes twinkle at him.

"Why are you doing this? What do you want Killua to do?" Gon narrows his eyes. "How can you be okay with hurting him like this?! These wounds...so deep and so many...He's just a boy." Gon's heart beats faster, his blood boiling when the man chuckles.

"Gon calm down." Killua warns, pushing his head in his chest. "This is nothing. Don't-"

"It's not nothing!" Gon shakes his head. "They haven't cared for the wounds at all, you could get an infection and..." Gon stabs his nails into his palm, his amber eyes burning over at this man who is just staring at him.

"I didn't do this to him you know." The man says, rubbing the back of his head. "But you must know he isn't just a boy. He's very resilient. As he said, these wounds are nothing. He's been trained so that pain barely fazes him-"

"You say that like you're proud of yourself." Gon strokes Killua's back, trying to calm him down so he'll loosen his hold on him. He feels those stiff muscles start to relax under his gentle touch. Gon frowns when he brushes against a cut but Killua makes no sound that it hurt.

"We've made good progress. So you could say I am proud. You did the last of my work for me." The man seems to be beaming. "Would you like to take care of his wounds? I could give you supplies, young doctor to be." He giggles.

"...Yes I want to take care of his wounds." Gon calms himself down, as much as he can. The more angrier he gets, the more Killua gets tense. Gon wants to make sure he cleans up his wounds as good as he can. He needs to do something for Killua. He has to help in some way...

The man leaves out of the room, leaving them alone. Gon listens to Killua's breathing, that is uneven and loud. Gon slowly pulls away, Killua releasing his tight grip so he can do so but he keeps his arms around Gon's waist. Gon frowns when he sees how Killua is averting his gaze, staring at the floor, biting his lip. Those blue eyes are dull. "Killua-" Gon starts.

"I'm sorry Gon." Killua's tail moves slowly. "I couldn't protect you. I can't protect you even now. All I can do is follow the rules and hope they don't do anything to you-"

"Killua don't apologize. This isn't your fault. If anything, it's mine. I promised you I wouldn't let them take you back here and I failed-"

"It isn't your fault!" Killua locks eyes with him. He grabs Gon's face. "None of it is your fault. You've given me everything and because of that...look where you are now. They're not going to let you go..." Killua's blue eyes tremble before they get firmer, filled with fire. "I will get you out of here Gon. I will. I will." He grinds his teeth, trying to convince Gon and himself.

"Killua I'm going to get us all out of here. I'm not leaving unless I'm leaving with you and Alluka." Gon gives him this firm look. Killua shakes his head.

"Don't do anything stupid Gon. Look at me." Killua's blue eyes start to tremble. He swallows. "Don't. If you fight them, they will hurt you. No matter what they say, don't lose yourself in your anger." Killua hisses when Gon had a flare of defiance in his eyes. He doesn't want to just take this. "Promise me. I can't help you if you ruin everything."

"...I can't just sit back and do nothing Killua-"

"If you want to do something, find out where the device is, where he implanted it. Before we can do anything, we need to get that out." Killua whispers against his ear. "That's what you can do and nothing more."

"...Killua-"

"Here you go." Gon looks over at that man who has walked back in the room. He holds out a kit. He doesn't walk up to them so Gon kisses Killua on the forehead, trying to calm him down. With a bit of a struggle, Killua lets go of him so he can go get the kit. He can feel Killua's eyes on his back, watching him carefully. Gon takes the kit from the man, he grabs his wrist.

The room gets tense and Gon doesn't have to look to know that Killua is alert and restless. Gon rips his arm out of this man's grip, not sure why he would just grab him like that. He was looking over at Killua when he did it...gauging his reaction.

It's all an experiment isn't it?

Gon bites his lip, his amber eyes flaring up in anger as he winds his fist back, ready to knock that pleased look off of his face-

Killua is on him in a matter of seconds,grabbing his arm and stopping him before he connects. Killua hisses in Gon's ear, pulling him back, dragging him away from the man who is laughing.

"I told you Gon!" Killua growls, letting go once they're in the other side of the room. He turns Gon around so he can glare at him, those blue eyes burning into his...but even with how angry he looks, Gon knows he's afraid. He's scolding him like a mother would scold a child after running across the street without looking both ways.

"...I'm sorry Killua." Gon cups his cheeks, nuzzling his head against his. Gon listens to Killua's deep breathing become regular once again. He kisses his cheek before pulling away, those blue eyes are looking at him so intently, as if he's afraid to look away. "...I won't do it again."

"...You better not." Killua says but it's not hard or strong.

"Let me take care of your wounds Killua." Gon leads Killua to sit down. Gon gets in front of him, opening up the kit. He takes out all the packets of saline, antibiotic cream, and bandages. Killua is silent as Gon starts to irrigate the wounds on his chest with saline. Gon places kisses on Killua's cheeks and nose as he puts on the antibiotic cream, knowing it stings a bit. Killua's breathing increases as he moves to his back to do the same steps. Gon scratches behind his ears, kisses the back of his neck, and rubs soothing circles in his shoulders. Gon just wants to shower him with affections. He wants Killua to know how much he cares for him...he wants him to feel his devotion. He's not going to sit and let this happen.

Gon wraps up his wounds with the bandages. Once he's done, he starts to kiss over the bandages...a healing gesture but also a promise to himself.

He needs to get Killua out of here. Killua doesn't deserve this. He shouldn't have to go through this pain.

Gon stops when he sees Killua's shoulders shaking. His eyebrows furrow in concern when Killua turns around, a couple of tears falling down his face. Gon gasps when he hugs him, so tightly he can barely breathe.

"You're going to be okay...y-you will." Killua whispers to himself, his shoulders still shaking. "So gentle...so kind...even though it's my fault..." He sobs then. Gon frowns.

"Killua-" Gon starts, wanting him to know it's not. Gon doesn't blame him for this. He's cut off by Killua who kisses him with raw passion and desperation. Gon's eyes widen by the sudden powerful kiss but he kisses him back, rubbing his back in soothing way. Killua purrs, letting sniffles and whines coming from his mouth that Gon swallows up. Killua was acting so strong just a moment ago...but now Gon is seeing how he's really feeling.

"Killua...it's going to be okay." Gon breaks the kiss, giving him a peck on the nose, wiping his tears away. Killua's pupils are huge looking at him, his ears flatten and his tail between his legs. "It's okay." Gon kisses him again, and soon Killua starts to relax. He clings to him and in this moment, Gon can't help to feel his stomach twist.

Killua is acting his age. He's a scared 16 year old boy. Gon is the adult. Killua needs to lean on him, Gon won't fail him this time.

"Interesting." Gon pulls away from the kiss, Killua burying his head in his shoulder, taking a deep whiff of his scent. He had forgotten about this guy. "I'm sorry to say but this session is over. It's time to go Gon." Gon frowns when Killua stiffens.

"No." He mewls, holding Gon tighter. Gon feels his heart breaking.

"Now Killua, don't be greedy. I want to have Gon to myself too!" He giggles. Killua trembles, Gon can hear his teeth grating.

"Don't leave me." Killua says weakly. Gon wraps his arms around him and hugs him tightly, nuzzling his head. How could he leave when he uses that voice? Killua needs him here.

"Now, now. If you don't let Gon go, I'll make you. You don't want Gon getting hurt do you?"

Gon's eyes widen when Killua's attitude completely changes. He pushes Gon away from him, those blue eyes trembling as he stares at the floor. "Go..." He says but Gon can tell. He doesn't want him to leave. He's scared. Gon reaches over and kisses Killua, the boy leaning into him, desperate and needing his affection.

"I'll be back Killua." Gon promises, standing up and walking to the man. He can feel Killua's eyes on him so he turns around. He's scratching at the ground, biting his lip. Gon just wants to run back over there and shower him with kisses. He wants to be by him to protect him but soon that guy has his hand on his shoulder and is pulling him out. Killua's eyes flash and he stands up.

"Don't hurt him! If you take him from me _I will make your life a living hell!_ " Killua starts to scream. The man just hurriedly pulls me out and slams the door shut, locking it. Gon's heart is beating faster than he thought...he can hear it in his ears. So many emotions Gon saw from Killua...so many emotions he felt himself. He just wants to go back in there. Killua is worried about him. But he can't. He can't do anything because of this stupid device and-

"Are you feeling helpless?" This man's voice snaps Gon out of his thoughts. He looks over at the man who's staring at him with that twinkle in his eye. "It must be frustrating. There's nothing you can do. You're stuck and so is he. Do you feel like breaking?"

"You'll never break me." Gon's amber eyes flare. This only gets the man excited. "I'm not giving up. I want to see Killua as soon as possible-"

"You just saw him! But you want more!" He hums. "I must say, what I saw was much more than I expected. All those human emotions Killua had...my, it was beautiful. After all my research, it seems there's nothing that I could have done to bring him to this point. Because he needed you. I was right in my theory at least, that he needed a human to love. You are Killua's turning point...and also his breaking point. I've found his limit." Those eyes twinkle. When Gon opens his mouth to say something, he cuts him off. "Would you like to see Alluka?"

Gon stops what he as about to say...he nods his head. He follows this man, hoping to God that Alluka isn't in the same state as Killua is in...He really will punch him then. The man leads him to a room that's far from Killua's but is bolted and guarded. Gon takes a deep breath when that man opens the door, preparing himself for whats to come.

Gon lets out the breath he was holding when he sees Alluka sitting on the floor, hugging a teddy bear to her chest. She doesn't appear to be hurt...she's bare like Killua was and from what Gon can see, she hasn't been harmed. Her ears twitch when the door opens and she looks up. When she sees Gon, her blue eyes get wide and watery. "Gon!" She cries.

"Alluka!" Gon rushes over towards her, wrapping her in a hug. She trembles in his hold, returning the embrace.

"Gon I thought they were going to make you go away! I thought i-i'd never see you again! Big brother was...he looked so..." She whimpers. "I d-didn't want to lose you both! I don't want to be alone!"

"Shh Alluka...it's okay. You're not alone, I'm here, your big brother is here too. I just saw him. He's okay." Gon reassures, feeling his chest tighten.

"I-I'm so happy you're here." Alluka pulls away, those blue eyes watery. Gon rubs her head and she leans into the touch. She frowns soon. "Is K-Komugi okay?"

"Huh?" Gon blinks at the question, stopping his hand in her hair. "Why do you ask-" Gon stops when he remembers something. Komugi was watching Alluka and Killua...no...

"They took h-her too!" Alluka trembles. Gon feels an anger burn him and he whips his head over to glare at this man that is watching them closely.

"Where is Komugi? What have you done with her?"

"Who are you talking about- ah you mean the blind girl." The man seems to recall. "I had no use for her so I made her of use."

"What the hell does that mean?" Gon grips his fist. Alluka is trembling now.

"I put her in the black room."

Alluka suddenly cries out in dismay. "N-No! Komugi...I wanted h-her to be a part of our family..." Alluka shakes.

"What's the black room?" Gon feels his stomach twist at how upset Alluka is...how distraught.

"There's a monster in there! A monster that eats people!" Alluka cries.

"No...Is that true? Why the fuck would you do that?" Gon stands up, yelling at this man who just shrugs his shoulders.

"All creatures need to eat some how-"

Gon told Killua he would control himself. He said he wouldn't let his anger get the best of him. _I'm sorry..._ Gon feels the tears sting as his eyes as he finally connects his fist with this guy's jaw. He stumbles back a few feet, Gon able to punch him in the gut too.

"You evil man! She was innocent! How can you do such a thing? How can you-" Gon keeps hitting him, and he is laughing.

"Innocent or not...she was _there._ " Gon's eyes widen when he feels a sharp pain in his stomach. He looks down to see a needle sticking out of his stomach. His vision gets blurry and with the last of his strength he hits this man one last time before sliding down his body and falling to the floor. Gon grabs his pant leg, sending him the strongest glare he can muster.

"You can hurt me all you want." The man says, bleeding from his nose. "But she's still dead."

Gon growls...but it comes out more as a choke, emotions making a lump in his throat but he's out before he has time to even cry. The last thing he hears is Alluka's terrified voice.

* * *

" _So you're going to be shadowing me today?" A man with gentle eyes smiles, and Gon can't help to smile back, his amber eyes bright with excitement._

" _Yes sir! My name is Gon Freeces! It's nice to meet you. I'm really excited about this! This is my first time shadowing. I've been in the hospital before but... not like this."_

" _I like that spirit! You can call me Dr. Smith. Today is your lucky day, and an unlucky day for many others. We have a lot of patients to check on."_

 _Gon follows him around, watching with big, wondrous amber orbs as the doctor talks to the patients. Even when the patients yell and scream at him, he doesn't flinch. When there's family members that' are crying...he doesn't wince either. He always speaks in that calm voice, and no matter the situation, he makes judgments quickly._

 _Gon wants to be like that. He wants to have that knowledge, the same knowledge this man has that can save people._

" _S-Sir, we need you in the operating room! A client has taken a turn for the worse-" Gon remembers rushing with the doctor, the man's face stayed calm. Gon remembers feeling panicked himself and he remembers...how hard that doctor had tried to save that woman's life. He remembers the tubes used and the oxygen and the pounding on the chest. He remembers how the doctor fought to the very end to save that woman's life._

 _But she died._

 _Gon watched as the doctor calmly stated that she passed. He remembers watching as the doctor walked to the family that was waiting for their daughter. She was having a simple operation. They weren't expecting this news. Gon could only stand to the side, watching as Mr. Smith explained about their daughter. When the family broke down, he didn't. He said he was sorry. He could only say he was sorry._

 _Gon had thought then, that maybe after years of seeing this kind of thing, that one gets numb to it. Gon was certainly shaken up. He didn't say anything though. After all, this was the kind of work he signed up for._

 _So you can imagine Gon's surprise...when everyone was gone, when the family was gone...Dr. Smith covered his face with his hands and wept. He sobbed. Gon remembers watching his shoulders shake, the man he respected breaking down right in front of him. The one that was so calm and collected, was showing the feelings he must have been holding back all this time._

" _We can't save everyone..."He had said, his voice broken as he turned to Gon, tears running down his face. "We can try but know...you can't save everyone. It never gets any easier. If you hold on to it, you can easily go crazy so...my last parting advice to you is..." Gon remembers feeling his own face get wet._

" _Move forward. Save those who are alive, and don't cling to those who are dead. Just know you tried your best...sometimes it's all you an do. We can't save everyone...we can't. We're only human. No amount of school or smarts is going to change that. Our patients are human...because of this, we can't save everyone...we can't."_

* * *

" _We can't save everyone."_

Gon eyes slowly open, trapped water escaping, falling on the table he's laying on. Why would he remember something like that?...at a time like this? Gon sits up, wincing when he feels slight pain in his stomach and that throbbing in his head is back. As soon as he looks around the room...the same room he woke up in the last time, he remembers something that twists his stomach.

"Komugi..." Gon's lower lip trembles. He just wanted her to be able to get out the house. He just wanted her to have a good time. He didn't know this was going to happen...but he is responsible for it.

" _We can't save everyone."_

That's not why Gon wants to become a doctor though. He doesn't want to be told that. He doesn't want to accept that...

She might not be dead. Maybe she can still be saved. Gon hasn't tried his best...that doctor...he said that all we can do is try your best.

Gon hasn't given it his all yet.

Killua, Alluka and as far as he knows, Komugi are still alive. Gon can still save them. He can still make it right...if anyone of them die here, Gon will also meet his grave here.

He's not leaving without all of them.

"Ah you're awake!" Gon looks over just to see that man from before walk out. He's not wearing a mask, his smile tweaked up strangely. His nose is still crooked from Gon hitting him.

"Take me to the black room." Gon doesn't waste any time. He stands up and steadies himself, his amber eyes burning with a new fire.

"...Pardon?" The man blinks, looking very confused. "You want to go to the black room? Why on earth would you want that? Do you want to die?"

"I'm saving Komugi." Gon glares at him. "How do I know she's dead? She could be in there, needing me!-"

"Oh trust me, she's dead. You don't want to go in the black room." The man shakes his head quickly.

"I won't trust you. Take me to the black room." Gon grinds his teeth. He won't accept it. He didn't want to accept Mito's untimely death...

He won't accept anyone else's.

"I'm sorry but I can't grant that. You're very valuable to me. You are not food. You are the key to my research-"

"If you wont' take me I'll find it!" Gon shouts, shoving this guy out of the way and running out of the room. He looks both ways before going right. He runs as fast as he can, looking at all the doors, searching for a black door. He doesn't know if it would be the black room but it's a start. Gon is expecting to hear alarms go off but he doesn't. He doesn't get shocked by the device either.

Gon doesn't' know how long he runs around...he doesn't know how many other scientist he's encountered either. They just move out of his way. When he gets to a dead end, he pants, leaning over.

It's not here...he'll have to turn around. It must be the other way- When Gon whips his head around quickly, his vision swims. He stumbles to the left, hitting the wall with his shoulder and leaning on it to keep himself up. He takes deep breathes, waiting for his body to settle. There's that pain again...He's not even sure how long he was out this time...that guy injected him with something and since he feels this throbbing in his head, he's gotten no pain medication. Gon would rather have this pain. The medication makes him slower.

"Having some trouble little one?" Gon's eyes widen at that voice. He looks up, his breathing hitching. Hisoka stands in the hallway, blocking his way back. Those yellow eyes take him in with amusement, his lips curled in a smirk.

"Hisoka..." The shock he feels soon turns to anger. He grinds his teeth before he charges for the older man. There's no fear in his amber eyes. Hisoka's yellow eyes light up, and he groans, licking his lips. When Gon gets on him, he sides steps him, Gon crashing into the wall. "Hisoka!" Gon growls his name, turning around quickly. This time Hisoka doesn't try to get out of his way and Gon is able to hit him as hard as he can in the stomach...

Hisoka doesn't even budge. His smile doesn't leave his face. If anything, that punch had hurt Gon's hand.

"What are you trying to do?" He chuckles darkly, grabbing Gon by the neck and lifting him off the ground with no difficulty. Gon gasps, grabbing at his wrist. He kicks, trying to get out of his hold. "Little one you are no match for me...but that expression, that fire. Ohhh I want to crush it." Hisoka moans, shoving Gon against the wall hard. If Gon had more air, he might have cried out in pain.

"This is pretty dangerous. Running around in a place like this, trying to fight someone like me...oh I long to see Killua's face when I show him your severed head. By destroying you...I'll be destroying him too."

"Let me...go." Gon grits out, digging his nails into Hisoka's arm, doing whatever he can to get out of his hold. "...I welcomed you...into my family. Because of you...Killua and Alluka are back here..."

"Feeling betrayed?" Hisoka leans in, Gon pulling away when he feels his breath on his lips. "That look on your face is delicious. Keep looking like that...just for me." He purrs, placing Gon down just to force his lips on his. Gon's eyes widen and he tries to push Hisoka off but he's no match for him. Hisoka is easily able to pin his arms above his head with one hand, the other grabbing his face and pressing on his jaw, forcing his mouth open so he can snake his tongue inside.

Gon is filled with fury. He thrashes with all his might and he bites down on Hisoka's tongue, satisfied when he tastes blood.

Hisoka pulls away, a devious smile on his face, some blood coming out of his lips. "What an awful thing to do. Do you like the taste of my blood? I'm sure I'll like the taste of yours." Gon winces when he tightens his grip on his wrists...he grinds his teeth...it feels like they could shatter at any moment. He pulls in again, the kiss much rougher and he bites down on his lip. Gon yelps at the sharp pain, Hisoka pulling away to lick at the blood.

"Killua isn't here to save you now." Hisoka hums, touching Gon's busted lip, smearing the blood. His pupils get longer, those yellow eyes seem to glow. "You're all mine."

Gon spits blood in Hisoka's face. "Fuck you Hisoka! I'm not going to sit here and let you get away with everything you've done. I'm not yours and I will never be."

The older man isn't phased. He just smirks, licking up the blood on his face. "What are you going to do little one? No one knows you're here. You've become an experiment. You'll never make it out of here. You're going to die here. Killua can't help you. Alluka can't help you. You're all alone. So what will you do? What can you do?" Gon's eyes widen when Hisoka's nails cut down his shirt, ripping it as they go. Gon stays still with those razor sharp nails so close to his flesh...he shivers when the shirt is ripped off of him, the chilled air hitting him.

"No one is going to die here. I'm going to get everyone out. Killua, Alluka...and Komugi." Gon says with such conviction that Hisoka locks eyes with him. He studies him for a moment before those eyes start to soak in his bare chest.

"Those are big words coming from someone with power so small. You cant even get away from me..." Gon's eyes widen when he unbuttons his pants. He starts to kick with fever and he tries to pull his arms out of Hisoka's death grip but he cant.

Gon swallows when his pants fall to the floor, along with his boxers, leaving him bare and vulnerable. "Tell me, how did you think this story was going to end?" Hisoka's yellow eyes soak in the man's tan body, trailing his fingers down his stomach and touching his thighs...Gon cringing from the unwanted touch.

"Hisoka get off of me-" Gon kicks Hisoka's shin but it does nothing. He can't get his hands out of his grip and it feels like they're breaking.

"Did you think that you would be able to escape and have a happy family with Killua? Did you really believe that's what the end result would be..." Gon trembles when Hisoka cuts into his chest, trailing his nails down from his collar bone all the way down to to his waist.

"This isn't the end!" Gon roars, in his anger, in his pain. He shivers from the cold and it only hurts more with his open wounds.

"It isn't?" Hisoka kisses him again, Gon doing all he can to try to move his head away or bite him but he holds his jaw. He pulls away, Gon feels sick when he grabs his genitals...stroking him.

"It isn't." Gon closes his eyes tightly. "Why..." Gon glares darkly, his eyes burning like the sun. "Why Hisoka? Why would you even want to come back here!-"

"Your time had run out." Hisoka rips him from the wall, Gon crying out in pain when he twist his arm back, both wrists twisting in an odd angle as Hisoka forces him down on his hands and knees...Only now does Gon feel the gravity of this situation. He cant win against Hisoka. The bastard is going to rape him-

Killua's small smile flashes though his mind.

….This is the kind of treatment Killua has been dealing with his whole life. Killua is back in this place again...because of his weakness. Killua is so young. Alluka is so young...He needs to get them out of here. He needs to-

Gon bites his lip when Hisoka digs his nails into his back, ripping down. He feels his eyes water in agony. "Damn it! Hisoka...I won't-" Gon closes his eyes tightly when he cuts the back of his thighs. He can feel his blood leak out of him. He tries to squirm away when he feels Hisoka's tongue in one of his wounds on the back of his thigh. Gon turns his head to the side so he can glare back at Hisoka...and he gives it all he has. "I won't forgive you for this!"

"Ohh that look. Even now you still have that look. Such fire, such spirit! How much will it take to break you?" Hisoka moans, those yellow eyes glowing strangely "Your body will surely break before your spirit..." Gon's eyes widen when he feels...something hard press against his ass. He swallows, a panic growing in his chest but when he tries to get away, Hisoka just pushes him down to the point he can barely breath.

"Are you scared? You should be. I don't think I can hold anything back when it comes to you little one." Hisoka purrs, grabbing Gon's hair and yanking his neck back at a painful angle. He leans down so his lips are grazing his ear. "Hey Little one, you have a tracking device in your lower back, the left of your spine. It's deep. The shocker is In the back of your thigh, very deep. Surely you'll have to cut muscle to get to it. Use this information wisely. You must have a plan. Running around here is very dangerous as you can see."

Gon's eyes widen when Hisoka whispers this in his ear. He uses a tone that's menacing but...He just told him where the devices in his body are. He just gave him the first step of getting out of here.

Gon is more confused than anything right now. Hisoka is the reason why they're all back here but...he's helping him? But right now he's attacking him, about to rape him...

Is Hisoka on their side or not?

"Don't break..." Hisoka pulls away, When Gon feels something blunt up against his entrance, he completely comes back to the situation at hand. "I'm the only one who can put out that fire-"

"Hisoka." Gon looks over, his pupils trembling, his heart beating in his ears. It's that man, the scientist. He doesn't look pleased, as he puts his hands on his hips. "That man is very important to my work. I did not authorize you to hurt him."

"He's too cute. I can't help myself." Hisoka purrs but he pulls away. Gon letting out the breath he didn't know he was holding. He slumps to the floor when Hisoka lets him go. Everything is aching. His blood is everywhere. "And he was trying to escape. I think I had a right to play with him a bit."

"He is just curious. There was no threat of him leaving. You need to learn to listen to the chain of command." The man narrows his eyes at Hisoka who just smirks. He walks over to Gon, his eyes lighting up when Gon gets up himself, stumbling a bit, hugging himself from the cold, his blood dripping on the floor. "Oh my he made a mess. Please follow me, I'll get you fixed up. Ohhh Killua isn't going to be happy about this." The man laughs oddly.

Gon gives him a glare. "Where is the black room?" The man blinks, his eyes lighting up.

"I'm so curious about you! You still want to know where the black room is? Aren't you worried about other things?"

"Yes but I need to save Komugi. She isn't dead. I feel it." Gon doesn't let this man's laugh falter his resolve. He knows she's not dead. She can't be dead. He won't accept it. He doesn't care if he's bleeding. He doesn't care if he's naked and cold. Komugi could be in the same state. She could need him now.

"You're feeling things. I blame the blood loss. Hisoka could you?"

"Of course." Gon struggles when Hisoka picks Gon up like a baby. He starts carrying him down the hallway. Gon hisses in pain but he doesn't give up.

"Gon...it's been a couple of days, don't you want to see Killua? He's been yelling about you. He really wants to see you." The man sounds like he's smirking.

...A couple of days?...he's been out that long? Gon frowns deeply, his fighting slowing down. He thinks of Killua's teary eyes and how he told him not to go...he thinks of that scared 16 year old boy that's in that room, chained...who knows what they've been doing to him in these couple of days? What if someone has violated him? What if they've beat him more?

Gon feels anger flare up in his chest, along with the pain, his eyes get watery. "...Yes." Gon breathes heavily ."I want to see Killua. Take me to him." Gon needs to hold Killua. He needs to know he's okay. He needs to kiss him and comfort him...

He needs to tell him how much he loves him and that he's going to get them out of this. He is. He'll get everyone out... _Sorry Komugi...just hold on a bit longer..._

Gon's amber eyes grow duller.

Gon can't fail them, or he'll fall apart.

* * *

 **Thank you for your support! Poor Gon. I almost feel bad. Till next time! Please review!**


	16. Chapter 16

"Ow..." Komugi's eyes slowly open, the first thing she can tell is that she's on a very hard and cold ground. For a moment she doesn't try to do anything, feeling around with her hands to get a picture of where she is. Komugi's hand stills when she remembers those dark voices of the men who had broken into Gon's house. "A-Alluka! Killua!" Komugi cries, sitting up. She listens carefully for a reply but when she gets none, she trembles.

What happened to them? Those men came in and then soon after Komugi remembers darkness, and Alluka clinging to her. Where is she now? Where are they?

Komugi stands up, panic gripping her heart as she walks forward, not sure where she's going. "Alluka! Killua!" She yells louder, holding her hands out to feel. After awhile of screaming their name and walking forward...she notices two things. This room is never ending, she hasn't hit a wall and it's dead silent. No sound at all except for her.

"Alluka-" Komugi's foot hits something and it causes her to fall forward. She hisses when she scraps her palms and knees, the pain stinging then dull. The young girl takes a deep breath before she sits up again, sitting on her knees for a moment so she can calm herself down. If she's panicked, she'll keep falling and hurting herself.

How could this have happened? Komugi was having such a good time with Alluka. Her blindness wasn't an obstacle to have fun with the two. Alluka was so kind...and Gon had trusted Komugi to watch over them.

She feels her stomach twist. She's useless. Just like her parents said, under whispered breathes, that they thought she couldn't hear. The only thing she's good for is extra money and her favorite game, other than that she can't do anything.

But Gon trusted her. He's always spoke in such a kind voice. Komugi won't give up. As long as she still has air in her lungs, she won't stop till she gets Alluka and Killua.

The blind girl forces herself up and starts to walk again, yelling their names as loud as she can till her throat starts to hurt. She keeps yelling-

Komugi yelps when a hand covers her mouth roughly and she's pulled over to the side. "Are you fucking crazy? Don't yell like a lunatic! They'll come over here." This man hisses in her ear. His hand smells like dirt and rot. Komugi doesn't like it much on her face.

"Who will come over here?" Komugi pulls the hand away, taking a deep breath of fresh air.

"The monsters." He grits out, she's able to hear the edge of panic in his voice. "They eat your brains they do. I've seen it. My buddy..." He trials off. "...They ripped him a part like it was nothing. Ate everything off him. I was only able to get his ear...that's all I have left of him." He's unstable. Komugi understands why he smells of rot now. He's been holding his friend's ear.

Komugi feels a little woozy but she shakes her head. If there's a monster in here, or whatever is in here, it's not good if Alluka and Killua are in here also. "Have you seen a young girl and boy in here?"

"No. You're the first person I've seen in awhile. I think the others are dead." The man says. "That's why we have to be quiet. Or we're going to be dead next-" He stops talking. Komugi hears his breath hitch and she feels his body tremble next to hers. "Shit."

"What's wrong?-"

"Don't you see?" He hisses. "Oh no, no, no. I'm going to die here...unless..." Komugi can feel the man staring at her now. "It's your fault it's here. With your screaming. Why should I die because of you?" The man gets angry. Komugi doesn't really know what to say. She opens her mouth to try to assess the situation only to yelp when the man suddenly shoves her.

She falls on her arm with a cry, curling into herself when she had landed on a sharp rock. She doesn't know if she broke anything but it hurt. "Why d-did you push me sir?" She starts, a bit angry. That's when she hears a rock kick next to her. She opens her eyes, looking towards the sound but of course seeing nothing but darkness. "Is anyone there?" She tries.

Her eyes widen when she feels breathing close to her face. She doesn't move back though, this person doesn't smell like rot like the other guy so she knows it's a new person. "Hello." She tries. "Please be careful. That man over there is a bit shaken up. He thinks there's monsters down here and he might hurt you." She warns. Komugi has no idea where that other man is now.

"Hurt me?" Komugi's surprised by the deep voice. She's interested in this person immediately. There's something powerful about him. "Can you not see what is right in front of you human?"

"No, I can not." Komugi answers honestly. "I'm blind sir-"

"Address me as king." He snarls. Komugi feels shivers up her spine but she stays perfectly still. She nods her head. There's silence between them for a moment and Komugi feels like he's studying her. "You do not look appetizing at all. Very weak and pale. You can not even see. What use do I have for a human like you?"

Komugi has to wonder if this is the monster that man was talking about. She won't ask, she thinks that would be rude. This man seems to be the 'king' in this area. If Komugi is going to find Alluka and Killua, she needs to be respectful. "I can't do much, my king." Komugi replies in a small voice. "I probably am not too tasty either. The only thing I can do is play Gungi, that is what I do best."

"What is Gungi?" He asks, Komugi feels air around her cheek like something just moved close to her face but she doesn't say anything about it.

"It's a board game that's all about strategy, it's much like the game of chess where the objective is to capture the king. I play in the championship every year and win. As of right now, I'm the best in the world." Komugi says, knowing that's all she has. She can't do much else.

"The best in the world?" The man repeats. "I know of chess. I've played it countless times but I did not know of this Gungi game." He seems to think. "We're going to play this game, after I've done my research on it."

"You're going to play Gungi with me?" Komugi's eyes widen, and she feels excited. That's when she feels a gust of wind and the sound of something landing.

"My king." The voice is beautiful. Like a song. "I've found another human that knows how to play chess-" He stops talking and Komugi can feel eyes on her. "This is not acceptable as a meal for the king!" He fums angrily. "They-"

"Quiet Poof." The king says sternly and the other man is quiet. "This human knows of a game that I do not. Find me the rule book and get us the game. It's called Gungi."

"Yes, my king. I will speak to the humans about the game." Komugi feels a gust of wind and then she feels that the man Poof is gone. The king snaps his finger and Komugi hears another pair of feet hit the ground.

"My king." This is a females voice. "Hmm?" She makes an interested sound and once again Komugi can feel eyes on her.

"Take her back to my throne room. She is my new challenger." The king sounds like he's walking away. Komugi feels a panic grip her.

"W-Wait, my king!" She raises her arm and she feels sharp eyes on her. She swallows. "Forgive me." She bows her head. "But please tell me if you've seen a young boy and girl. I'm looking for them. I've been separated."

"A young boy and girl?" The king seems to ponder this. "You are the youngest human I've seen down here." Then he's gone.

"Come on. You get to play with the king. You should be honored." This woman purrs, quite literally purrs as she grabs Komugi's wrist and starts to lead her away. Komugi can feel this woman has claws and she swallows.

These are the monsters that man was talking about. But they don't sound like monsters. Though the king was talking about how she didn't look good to eat. Komugi is a bit relieved that they haven't seen Alluka and Killua. If it's true she's the youngest here, than they're not here. They're safe from being eaten.

Komugi is going to play Gungi against a king. There's a feeling in her gut, that if shes loses, that's it. Komugi can't help to smile, despite her situation. It's kind of like a final battle, a boss battle. Gungi is all she has and now she's being challenged once again by someone. If they take that away, Komugi has lost everything.

Is it strange she's excited to play this king? This creature that sounds so powerful? She should be terrified but she's not. There's something about the king's voice...

And since he's the king around here, maybe he will know something about the men that took Killua and Alluka. Maybe the king could help her...

Komugi first has to play Gungi like she always does. Like her life depends on it.

* * *

Everything hurts. Gon's ripped muscles are screaming at him to stop moving. The stitches in his flesh feel like they're tugging and pulling with every movement and he knows they are. The scientist took care of his wounds to the best of his ability. He was too weak to fight his treatment or to watch what he was doing. Gon knows he's been given pain medication. If he hadn't, Gon wouldn't be able to move right now.

Hisoka ran off soon after and Gon hasn't seen him since.

"It's been a good few hours." Gon looks over groggily at this scientist. His vision is blurred but he's sure he's smirking. "Killua was in a mood before then, I'm sure he's worse off now. We should hurry to get to him. Can you move faster?"

Instead of wasting any energy on talking to his man, he picks up the pace because he _can_ go faster. It's been a couple of days...he needs to know Killua is okay. He needs to show him that he's still here. Gon has hope now. He knows where the devices are. He'll just have to pick the right moment to get them out.

"Ngh..." Gon groans, leaning against the wall to take deep breaths of air.

"You really are incredible." The man says. "Such reliance...I wonder if you would still have this spirit if Hisoka would have had his way with you completely? I wonder how Killua would react..." Gon grinds his teeth and pushes himself to start walking again.

Gon can hear Killua's yells of anger from here. As he gets closer, he can make out his name being yelled and loud bangs and growls. There's a couple of men standing outside of his room, shaking, looking very much afraid. When they see Gon, they're eyes light up, only to tremble in panic when they see the state he is in.

"What happened to that guy?!" One of the men shouts. "The test subject is going crazy in there! If we show him in this state, he will lose it! He's already killed a couple of our men in his anger."

"Yes, I'm aware of this. I have failed as a man of science. I did not keep Gon safe. But we must let Killua see Gon. I gave my word after all and I'm very, very curious to how this will play out." The scientist that's been around him all this time smirks. "Open the doors."

They don't want to. Gon can see it in their faces. But slowly they do open the doors and they quickly lead Gon in. He hears Killua before he sees him.

"Bring me Gon! I want Gon!" Gon's eyes take in the boy who is screaming from the top of his lungs. There's a couple of corpses around him, eyes glossed over in death, bodies mangled and torn. Killua himself looks to be in better shape. He has gotten some new wounds and his hair is matted with blood, but he looks better than he did when Gon saw him the last time. That brings Gon relief.

Killua's ears twitch when he hears the door open, his nose crinkling as he stiffs. He whips his head over, smiling. "Gon-" That smile is wiped off his face quickly. Gon watches as his pupils become pinpoint, his ears go back and his whole body stills as he takes in the condition that Gon is in.

The scientists that brought Gon in have quickly retreated, locking Gon in the room with the boy.

"Killua." Gon gives him a soft smile, leaning against the wall. He wants to comfort him. The boy looks like he's about to cry.

"What have you done..." Killua whispers before that horrified expression turns into one of pure rage, his blue eyes turning so dark. "What the fuck have you done?!" Killua roars, running towards the door and ramming into it. Gon's eyes widen when he leaves a large dent. Killua is breathing in and out like a bull, his tail puffed up. "I behaved and you bastards do this?! I will kill you! All of you! I'll make you suffer for this!" Killua keeps punching the door.

Gon takes a deep breath, trying to keep himself up. He's worried that if he takes a step forward he might fall over. His body is too weak right now. He can barely speak.

"K-Killua." Gon tries. Killua's ears twitch at that quiet voice. He whips his head over and takes in his body that's all mangled with stitches and bruises. That rage in Killua changes into something overpowering. Killua takes deep breathes through his nose before he rushes over to Gon, cupping his cheeks and pressing his head against his forehead. He sniffs around his bare body...Gon can feel him freeze.

"Hisoka..." Killua snarls. "Hisoka's scent is all over you..." His voice gets lower, deeper.

"He...He...attacked me." Gon says, he closes his eyes when he feels Killua's breath hitch. "I'm going to be okay Killua...don't get yourself hurt-"

Gon cries out in pain when Killua suddenly grabs him and throws him down, his stitches on his chest rubbing against the hard floor. "K-Killua!-" Gon looks back at Killua when he feels a pressure on his back. His heart beats faster in panic when he sees those strange, not human eyes, glaring at him.

"Another man has marked you before me." Killua growls, he leans in and sinks his teeth into the back of Gon's neck, getting him to whimper. "I'm gong to claim what is mine."

Gon's eyes widen when he feels Killua spread his cheeks, that panic growing when he feels Killua's harden member against his ass. Killua is still holding him down, being so rough and it hurts so much with all his rips.

"K-Killua stop!" Gon cries out with all he has, turning his head so Killua can look at him, and see him. Gon has tears in the corner of his eyes from the agony. "Y-You're hurting me."

Killua, who was about to ram himself into Gon, stops. Those strange eyes stare at him for the longest time before they start to change. That blank, empty, animal look is gone...and is replaced with horror, self hate, and concern all at once.

"Oh God! Oh God what was I...Gon!" Killua gets off of him quickly and helps Gon up to a more comfortable position. Killua's blue eyes shake, he looks so scared and lost. "What is wrong with me? How could I...? What was I thinking? You're in so much pain and I was going to hurt you-"

"Killua, it's okay." Gon wraps his arms around the panicking boy. He closes his eyes, sighing at the warmth. Everything hurts but he'll ignore that. "It's-"

"This isn't okay, Gon. None of this is okay! All of this is my fault. I'm the reason you're here in the first place and you just got attacked and here I am, about to rape you! I-I've taken everything from you! How can you sit here and tell me it's okay? It's not okay Gon! It's fucking not okay! Stop treating me with so much care! Please, it burns more than fire!" Killua screams but the boy has wrapped his arms around him. He clings to him, his small frame shaking.

"Killua you didn't rape me. You were able to stop yourself. Seeing me like this shocked you, you've been worried about me all this time...I should have been here sooner. Don't blame my injury or my being here on yourself. I chose to be with you and I made a promise to protect you. I'm not going to stop treating you with care Killua because I love you. I told you, you won't be able to get rid of me." Gon hears the boy sniffle and go lax in his hold. Gon closes his eyes nuzzling him, tightening his grip when the sniffles turned into sobs. "These wounds will heal. I won't die, Killua."

"I don't deserve you..." Killua says softly. "But I'm too selfish to give you up. I won't let you die, Gon. I will get us out of here. I'll try harder. So please...d-don't get hurt like this again. Stay away from Hisoka. When I see him I'm going to kill him. I'm not playing, I will kill him. I'll rip out his eyes and let them hang there. I'll pull his guts out and-

"Hisoka attacked me but because of him, I know where the devices are." Gon whispers in his ear, not letting go of the small boy. Killua's ears twitch. "He hurt me badly but he's the one who told me where the devices are...he had a chance to rape me but he stopped. I'm not saying Hisoka is a good guy. He's the reason you two are back here so...I don't know how to feel about him. I'll get these devices out once I've healed a bit."

"Once the device are out, I can lose control." Killua kisses his cheek and his forehead, running his hands through his hair trying to comfort Gon. "I'll get us out of here. Just let me know when it's out. _He_ must not know it's out." Killua licks his cheek. "What can I do to make you feel better Gon? What can I do for you?" Killua says in his normal tone of voice, pulling away to lock eyes with Gon's duller amber orbs. "I'm failing you as a mate." Killua's ears go back.

"Mmm just hold me and talk to me for a bit. Have you been okay these couple of days?" Gon holds out his arms. Killua quickly wraps himself on Gon, taking in his scent and being mindful of the stitches. "Have you been taking care of your wounds? Have you seen Alluka?"

"I've been fine. For the most part, the humans have stayed away from me. I've been taking care of my wounds...and I haven't been able to see my sister. The scientists have labeled me unstable...and I am when you're not here." Killua tightens his grip just slightly.

"When I left here last time...I got to see Alluka. She looked okay, she wasn't hurt...but she was upset about Komugi...Killua do you know where the black room is? Komugi was taken there."

Killua is quiet for a moment. "Gon, you can't go there. She's dead. There's a monster in there that eats anything that comes in. Humans are it's favorite treat."

"She's not dead..." Gon says weakly. "I feel her. I'm not going to let anyone die here, I..." Gon gets lost in Killua's warmth. The boy strokes his hair, luring him away and soon he can't hold out anymore. Gon loses conciseness, going limp in Killua's embrace.

Killua closes his eyes, breathing in Gon's hair, wanting his scent to comfort him but now that Gon is passed out, he can't help to shake.

Killua picks Gon up, holding him as carefully as he can as he walks to the back of the room. He places Gon down on the hard mattress that he calls a bed and tries his best to lay him down properly. Killua gets in with him, draping his body over him in a protective manner, letting Gon lay his head on his arm as a pillow.

Killua strokes Gon's cheek, leaning in to kiss the corner of his mouth, his tail brushing against Gon's thigh. Killua's throat rumbles in his purring. As long as Gon's next to him, he knows he's safe. He doesn't have to go crazy thinking about all the things those bastards could be doing to him.

This is driving him mad. Having Gon and then watching them take him away...that door is blocking Killua from Gon. Gon who means more to him than freedom itself.

Once Gon gets that device out, the devil couldn't stop Killua. The rage he has is buried deep inside him, and it will be unleashed soon enough.

"I will allow you to sleep with him tonight. He needs rest." Killua's ears twitch at that voice but he just turns his head, giving the scientist a warning glare. He leaves quickly, only then can Killua sigh and relax in Gon's warmth.

Killua doesn't know how long he spends just watching Gon's sleeping expression before he curls into Gon's welcoming body. Killua hasn't been able to sleep since he's got here. Nightmares of what could be happening to Gon kept him up. Killua didn't feel like he deserved sleep after the trouble he's caused...

But with Gon in his arms, Killua can't help to be lured off to sleep. His body going lax, the exhaustion catching up to him and leaving him vulnerable in Gon's arms.

They sleep soundlessly through the night, no one bothers them but they are watched throughout the night. No movement is missed. Nothing goes undocumented.

* * *

Killua wakes up when he hears Gon hiss in pain. His eyes snap open, all grogginess leaving him as his blue eyes lock on Gon's face that is inches from his own. It looks like Gon is starting to wake up, the man biting his lip, his eyebrows furrowed in discomfort.

Killua feels something pull in his chest, and not for the first time, he feels like he's failed. Pain, and agony are things Killua is use to. It doesn't bother him. But seeing Gon in pain, knowing what he's going through...it hurts him more than if those rips were in his own flesh.

"Gon..." Killua kisses his forehead softly, running his fingers through his hair, trying to offer him some form of comfort. Killua's body tenses when Gon groans, turning towards him. His ears flatten on top of his head as he licks over one of his stitches on his chest, he flinches when Gon hisses again and he stops.

Killua doesn't know what to do with himself. He doesn't want to hear these soft sounds Gon is making. He doesn't want to see his face scrunch up.

Instead of licking the wounds like Killua's instinct is telling him to do, he settles for licking at Gon's hair and forehead.

"I'm okay Killua." Gon strokes up and down Killua's back...the boy not knowing how stiff he had gotten till he felt those fingers loosening him up. "You're...weight is kind of hurting me though..." Killua gets off quickly, his ears going back when Gon tries to sit up and he takes a sharp intake of breath.

"Don't get up. Don't push yourself." Killua stops him. He gives Gon a firm look when he looks like he's about to protest.

Killua's ears perk up when he hears the door to his room opening. His pupils get longer and he turns around quickly, baring his teeth, hissing. He keeps himself in front of Gon, shielding him.

"Now, now. I've only come to help. Gon needs some medication does he not? It must be painful for him." Killua recognizes this human. He's the one who's been around Gon, one of the leaders around here. This human hasn't hurt or violated Killua with his own hands but he calls the shots around here. Killua doesn't want to trust him with Gon. He doesn't want him to take Gon from him again.

He's going crazy.

Killua's ears go back when he hears Gon whimper. He turns his head slightly to look back at him. Gon's eyes are closed and his breathing is uneven. He's sweating...he's not in good shape. He needs water and a nicer bed. Killua can't give him anything.

"...Please." Killua turns towards this human, laying his hands down on the ground, his palms facing up and his head bowed slightly. Everything in him screams to stop this. Begging to this human is beneath him but...it's not. Not when Gon needs help that Killua can not give him.

Not when this human is what decides if Gon lives or dies.

"Take care of him. He needs medical attention. He needs water and medication and a good bed. He needs a safe area..." Killua looks up at this human through his white bangs, those strange eyes crinkle at him. "...I'll do what you want. I'll be the weapon you want me to be. I'll become even more human. Just take care of Gon. Treat him well."

The human chuckles, Killua's ears going back in suspicion and dread.

"Never thought I'd see the day! This is wonderful! Just wonderful! I will treat him well. You've become behaved and it's all because of him! I adore him as well! I will make sure these wounds heal and that he is fed. You will start extensive training but...there is just one thing." This human keeps laughing. Killua's ears stay halfway down. He can't be happy even though this man is saying he'll take care of Gon. He wants something else.

"You have five days to acquire the ability to hide your ears and tail. If you fail this task, Gon will be killed." Those eyes crinkle when Killua's pupils get pinpoint.

"Five days?" Killua repeats, swallowing thickly. "That's not enough time-"

"Once the five days are up and if you are able to do it, Gon will live and you'll be able to see him. If you're really good, I'll let you mate with him as well. I'd like to take some notes...I've never seen you initiated the sexual contact. I'm very curious indeed."

"Tch..." Killua grinds his teeth. He wants to rip this human's head from off his shoulders. Killua could kill him. He could easily do so but if he dies, they'll kill Gon. He's sure this man has his hand on the button, ready to threaten him if he has to.

Killua doesn't care who is around when he mates with Gon. It's his way of showing that Gon is his but he knows Gon doesn't like anyone around. It's a private thing for Humans. Knowing that it's special to Gon, Killua doesn't want any of these bastards seeing. He doesn't want them taking notes and looking at Gon's pleasured expressions.

Killua does feel that desire to mark Gon when they are close but he can suppress it. And he will keep it suppressed as long as he's here.

He doesn't' want them turning Gon into an experiment.

"I'll take him now. Remember, five days." The human hums, walking closer. Killua doesn't want to give Gon up to those dirty hands but those hands are the only ones that can help Gon now.

"...Five days..." Killua helps the human pick up Gon in a way that won't hurt him that much. It's good that Gon has lost conciseness. He has some relief from the pain for now.

"I'll get him everything he needs. No worries here." The human's eyes crinkle. Killua walks with them, his heart seizing up in panic when he walks out of the room with Gon and shuts the door.

Killua runs to the door and claws at it, his chest so tight, he feels like he can't breathe. It never gets easy having Gon taken from him. He hates this empty room. He hates it here.

" _I love you Killua."_ _Gon smiles at him, holding him close in the warm bed that they share...Alluka curled up behind Killua's back. It's so nice and cozy. Those amber eyes are so bright..._

Killua feels his eyes water and he slides down the door, clawing at it absentmindedly. He wants to go back to that. He wants to be back in Gon's small apartment. He wants to watch TV with him and his sister. He wants to make Gon food. He wants to laugh with them. He wants to cuddle up with everyone. He wants to see Gon's smile, free of any pain...

He misses his family, both Gon and Alluka. He wants that 'gingerbread' perfect world his sister was talking about. When it would just be them and no one could hurt them. He wants to be far away from here...

Killua wants Gon to be with him...he's torn between keeping Gon safe and his need to have Gon close.

"I won't fail you this time..." Killua glares at the door, biting his lip hard enough that it bleeds. Five days is impossible but Killua will make it possible.

Killua is not losing Gon. If he loses Gon...he'll lose himself. If Gon goes down, Killua is going down with him.

* * *

"Ugh..." Gon's eyes flutter open. He sees a white ceiling and for a moment he thinks he's home. He turns on his side in this soft bed, curling up into himself wanting to go back to sleep...He winces when he feels pain in his side. Gon sits up and only when he takes in this room, does he realize he's far from home.

This room isn't like the operating one he was in. The bed is nice and soft...the room is decorated like a hotel. It's homely, welcoming.

Gon pulls off the blanket, looking down at his naked body and the stitches that are in his flesh. They don't look as bad as he remembers and they don't tug as much. This alarms him. How long has he been in here? He doesn't remember coming in this room...he was with Killua last wasn't he?

"Ah you're awake!" Gon looks over at that voice, spotting that one guy that's been with him from the start. He still doesn't know his name.

"How did I get here? How long have I been out?" Gon blinks when this guy puts a tray in front of him. His mouth waters when he takes off the top, and he spots the steak and mash potatoes.

"You've been out of it for about five days. I've been keeping you sedated to help with healing your wounds. I've given you nutrients through your IV. I've bathed you while you were asleep and I've taken care of your wounds. You should be fine to move around now. Though I must say you haven't had a bowel movement."

"Probably from all the sedatives you've given me." Gon can't help to dig into the food, feeling so hungry. Only when he finishes everything does he glare at this man, feeling much stronger. "Five days is too long...how is Killua and Alluka?" Gon swallows...Komugi...has he failed? They've been here for a couple of weeks now. Even if there wasn't a monster, he doubts anyone has been feeding her. Logically she has to be dead but Gon feels her. He can't believe that she's dead.

"They're fine! We're about to go see Killua once I get you all ready. He's dying to see you." The man hums. Gon watches him clean his wounds and wrap them up. He puts on the clothes the man gives him.

"...You don't seem like you're awful...so how can you do this?" Gon gets out of bed much easier than he expected. He stretches his body slightly, sighing, feeling better now that he's out and moving.

"How? It's easy, I just do it and I enjoy it. So many questions I can answer. Because of our research, we've opened up a new world." The man's voice gets strange. "And because of you, you've added more excitement to this world. Lets see what you've done...what you're power over Killua has accomplished." The man walks out of the room, Gon walking after him slowly. He doesn't like the sound of that. His body is still warming up, coming out of this sleep state...everything is aching but it's not too bad.

"This world that you've opened up isn't good. You're hurting children! You've turned them into humans, they have rights-"

"They have no rights. They don't exist in the outside world, Gon. And now, you don't either. You have no rights. You belong to the government, just like Killua, and all the experiments. Everything we do, we do for the good for the human race-"

"Is raping a 16 year old boy good for the human race?" Gon snarls.

"When you put it like that, no. But I can't watch everyone around the experiments. We can never leave here and we're around men most of the time. When there's a place with no law...the worse in humans comes out. I do not condone such activities and if they die, they die. But it does help with my research when measuring his reliance. A normal human boy would have probably broken by now, but he keeps going."

"All you care about is your research." Gon grips his fist, keeping up with the man now. His amber eyes bore into him but he doesn't look his way. "You're as guilty as them. There should be laws against what those men have done-"

"There are no rights for the experiments and there are no rights for you." The man stops walking, those strange eyes locking with his. They look so cold. "I could kill you and nothing would happen to me. You must understand where you are. There is no escape. You might hate it here but this is your home. You are going to die here. I can tell by the look in your eyes, you haven't accepted that. You tried to run before and look what happened to your body. You were almost killed by an experiment. If you want to live longer around here, you'll learn to behave."

Gon grips his fists, his amber eyes burning all the more brightly. His expression gets dangerous. "This isn't my home. I will not die here. No one is dying."

"Such a look...so curious..." The man mumbles to himself before he walks off quickly. They stop in front of the door that Killua is behind. "Go ahead, he's waiting for you."

As soon as the door opens, Gon is rushing in, his heart beating faster. Gon slows down, the door closing behind him as his amber orbs take in the boy...

The boy that doesn't have ears or a tail.

Gon is so surprised by this that he forgets how to speak for a moment. That doesn't seem to matter because Killua looks over at him, those blue eyes looking him over before he smiles. In a blink of an eye, Killua is in front of him, pulling up his shirt to inspect his chest. Gon lets him look over his body before he nods his head, Killua letting out a sigh as he leans his head against Gon's forehead.

"You look good...He's taken care of you. Your breath smells of meat, so they've been feeding you well. You look so much better...Gon." Killua hugs him, rubbing his head against Gon's.

"Killua..." Gon reaches up to run his hands through Killua's hair, feeling for the ears that aren't there anymore. "What happened to your ears? And your tail is gone..."

"I got rid of them. I can morph my body completely now." Gon's eyes widen when the ears pop back on his head and he grabs the soft ears he's gotten use to.

"Wow that's amazing Killua." Gon keeps rubbing the ears before scratching behind them. It takes a moment but soon Gon hears purring. Gon pulls away, looking at Killua, searching his eyes for any discomfort. Killua looks to be in good shape. There isn't any new wounds and the ones from before have healed. No thanks to Gon. Gon frowns, his amber eyes averting from those blue eyes that look at him...with that adoration.

"What's wrong?" Killua grabs his face, making Gon look at him again. Those pupils get bigger.

"I've been out for five days. I must have passed out and...I should have been here." Gon doesn't avert his gaze this time.

"No. It's good you were resting for five days. I know they had to keep you sedated...I knew you would want to come see me." Killua smiles slightly at that. "You look much better...and that's what's helping me." Gon's eyes widen when Killua leans in and kisses him deeply.

Though Killua seems so calm and collected...there isn't anything calm and collected about this kiss. It's desperate and Killua clings to him. Gon stumbles back before settling into the strong kiss, closing his eyes and kissing back at a slower rate, trying to calm the boy down. He caresses his cheek, and runs his fingers through his soft white locks that look like they've been washed since the last time Gon saw him.

Killua calms down, the kissing getting much softer, his breathing is still uneven though. He purrs loudly when Gon wraps his arms around his waist, hugging him close to his body as he gives him everything in this kiss. He wants Killua to know that he's going to get him out of here. He wants him to know how much he cares about him. He wants Killua to know he hasn't given up.

They break the kiss, the two males panting, blue eyes looking longingly into amber. Killua isn't composed at all. Gon wonders if he's done something wrong but soon Killua is hugging him again, nuzzling him and licking him, giving him so much affection.

Gon lets him do this before he gives him his own desperate affection. Gon is feeling anxious himself...he doesn't want to think about it, but they'll take him from Killua again. It's awful. Gon had promised they would stay together...

Why is he so weak? Why can't he do anything for them? Does his promise mean nothing?

"Have you been eating properly? Have you been getting sleep? Have they done anything to you?" Gon pulls away from Killua, cupping his cheeks, looking into those blue eyes that widen slightly.

"They've given me more food recently. I haven't been able to get much sleep. The humans around here have been pretty afraid to bother me...so no." Gon blinks when Killua picks him up and carries him over to the bed. He places him down gently before laying his head in Gon's lap, curling up. Gon smiles and runs his fingers through his silk like hair. Killua closes his eyes and sighs, his shoulders loosening up. "How are you feeling Gon? How is your pain?"

"I'm okay. It's not too bad right now...I don't want anymore pain medication. I don't want to be sedated like that. I need to be able to see you and Alluka." Gon strokes Killua's cheek before going back to rubbing his ears that twitch on top of his head.

"...if you need pain medication, take it. I don't want you suffering." Killua's ears go back but when Gon keeps rubbing them, they perk back up. "I've gotten to see my sister while you were out. She seems okay..." He trails off.

"When I saw her she was freaking out about Komugi..." Gon frowns.

"Yeah. She's dead. Alluka is grieving her I think."

"She's not dead." Gon says firmly. Killua glances up at him through one open eye. "I feel it...she's not."

"I get hope is something humans feel but...she's dead Gon. There's no way that she's alive. The monster in the black room is viscous. It loves human flesh." Killua watches Gon's reaction carefully. Gon's fire doesn't die.

"I feel her Killua...I can't believe she's dead till I see a body-"

"There won't be a body. That monster would have eaten everything."

"I need to see something." Gon says readily. Killua's eyebrows furrow and he turns on his back so he can look up at Gon with those strange blue eyes.

"Gon I don't like that look." Killua's ears go back, his eyes narrow at him. "You're thinking of doing something reckless aren't you? Like going in the black room?"

Gon's eyes widen from him guessing right. Killua shakes his head, grabbing Gon's shirt to pull him down so their noses are almost touching.

"Stay away from the black room." Killua hisses. His voice is firm and filled with power. "I know that human meant something to you but she is gone. I'm not going to let you get yourself killed over the dead."

" _Save those who are alive, and don't cling to those who are dead."_

"Gon you mean too much to me. Don't be reckless now. Promise me you won't go near that room." Gon averts his gaze from those intense blue eyes. His eyes widen when Killua snarls at him, his eyes getting darker and he bares his teeth. "Promise me!"

" _You can't save everyone."_

Gon closes his eyes and grinds his teeth. His chest tightens and he feels like he's becoming overwhelmed by this feeling. He won't cry. He won't shed tears in front of Killua. Gon is older, he's suppose to be the strong one. As a doctor, as a rational being, he should be able to understand that Komugi is dead. There's no way she's alive. Maybe when he first found out about her in the black room but not now.

Yet still he can't accept that. Gon Freeces can't expect that he let it happen again. He didn't want to be told by that doctor that they can't save everyone. He didn't want to lose anyone like he lost Mito...

"I..." Gon opens his eyes once he knows it doesn't look like he's about to lose himself. Killua is staring at him anxiously, those blue eyes are still firm but Gon can tell he's shaken up about it. He's worried. "...I promise."

Killua's shoulders loosen up immediately and he lets go of his shirt so he can relax more in his lap. Killua closes his eyes and lets out a long sigh.

"Good. I hold you to that promise. I'm not going to lose you." Killua turns towards his waist and hugs him tightly. It hurts but Gon doesn't say anything. The tightness, and the way Killua clings to him tells Gon more than what Killua is saying.

Killua is afraid. Killua doesn't want to let him go. He's worried. He's anxious. He needs affection. He needs reassurance.

Gon goes back to playing with his hair, scratching his scalp in a soothing way. Killua's grip loosens to a comfortable level and he purrs, nuzzling his head in his stomach.

"You're not going to lose me Killua. I'm not losing anyone. We're going to get out of here..." Gon leans close so he can whisper in his ear before kissing him on top of the head. Killua doesn't say anything, he just holds onto him, and Gon keeps playing with his hair, giving him that comfort and attention he needs.

"Soon i'm going to be starting my training again. Which is mainly just school work and learning more of the human basics. I'll be able to see you more often. He said everyday." Killua says quietly, his tail moving against the bed.

"I want to just stay with you." Gon says honestly. Maybe that was a selfish thing to say. He doesn't like being separated from him and...what about Alluka?

Killua looks up at him with those big blue eyes...filled with light and wonder before he averts his gaze. "Me too." He mumbles, his face flushing slightly. Gon can't help to chuckle, leaning in to kiss his hot cheek.

"You're too cute Killua."

"Shut up." He grumbles but even a grumpy Killua is a cute Killua in Gon's book. "Oh yeah." Killua's ears perk up. "They left a human game in here...a board game that we can play." He points off to the side. Gon squints his eyes before they light up.

"ohh monopoly? That's a long game."

"You've played before?" Killua raises his eyebrow up at him.

"I think once I did. I don't really remember the rules or anything...I think I lost all the pieces when I was a kid. Mito got mad at me." Gon sticks out his tongue, remembering Mito's scolding look...he smile to himself. Killua stares at him a moment before he averts his gaze.

"I wish I was there."

"Huh?" Gon blinks, looking down at Killua who is kneading into Gon's thigh, that nervous habit of his.

"You're my mate now but in the past, when you talk of Mito, I wasn't a part of your life. I didn't get to see all these things you talk about and I didn't get to meet Mito. The way you talk about her and the things you did in the past...I want to be a part of it too. I don't like the distant look in your eyes. I can't go there. I want to..." Kilua flushes, closing his eyes tightly. "I don't know if I'm expressing myself right to you...but I just want...everything when it comes to you."

"Do have my everything Killua." Gon hugs the boy tightly, he meows in surprise from the embrace, it must have startled him. "You may not have been in my past but you're my present and future. I can tell you about my past and then we can share those memories. You might not have met Mito but I can tell you everything about her and it will be like you have met her. Everything that I am, my past, my hopes, my dreams...they all belong to you now."

Killua breathes softly, his ears perked up, his eyes wide. He says nothing. And if Gon could see the look on his face right now, he might be overwhelmed by his own emotions.

"I'm the same as you Killua. I want everything from you too. I want your past, your hopes, your dreams. I want it all."

"You don't want my past...I'm not sure you want my present either." Killua says softly.

"Non sense. I want it all and I mean it. Your past is filled with bad memories I know...but I don't want you to be there alone. I want you to share them with me, so you don't have to take them on alone. I want to know everything about you Killua. The present might not seem so good now because where we are but it will get better. I'm glad that I'm here Killua. I wouldn't want you being here alone. You're my mate now, we share everything and give everything."

"Gon..." Killua tilts his head to look at him, his eyes widen. When he sees the fire in Gon's eyes and the smile on his face...Killua's eyes soften and he smiles himself, he turns his head, his bangs getting in his face to block it from Gon. "You're too bright..." He snuggles up closer to him. "Even when I'm in this place...you make me feel like this...my heart...and my head...and everything. Even in this place you're light...You bring a smile to my face so easily." He chuckles and it's so light. "You really are something else."

Gon leans in to kiss him, Killua melts into the kiss right away, purring loudly. What started off slow, and sensual filled with mutual feelings of love turns into wet, hot kisses that make both burn with desire and need. Gon pulls away, a string of saliva keeping them connected for a moment. Killua is staring up at him with half lidded eyes.

"...Not here." Gon says softly, caressing Killua's cheek.

Killua's eyes get darker like he's going to fight him before he closes his eyes and lets out a long sigh. "...I-I know." Killua sends a sharp glare towards the corner of the room before he settles back down in Gon's lap.

Gon keeps running his fingers through Killua's hair, closing his eyes when Killua's shoulders relax and his breathing becomes even. Gon grabs the blanket on this bed that's just a thin sheet, pulling it up and over Killua. The boy doesn't say anything and snuggles against Gon, purring when he goes back to scratching behind his ears.

Gon is sure Killua hasn't gotten any sleep. He must be exhausted...Gon has been worrying him a lot. Softly Gon starts to hum 'Mary had a little lamb', a tune Mito would hum to him when he would have trouble sleeping. Killua's ears twitch at the deeper tune before they slowly relax. Killua's purring stops, Gon knowing he fell asleep.

Gon opens his eyes slowly, still petting Killua's hair, never stopping his humming when the doors open to this room. That strange man comes into the room but Gon doesn't stop humming, he doesn't stop stroking Killua's soft locks. He doesn't want the boy to wake up. He wants him to get rest.

The man holds up a poster that says '20 minutes.'. Gon closes his eyes tightly, not letting his anger show in his humming or actions as this man walks out and shuts the door. He can only imagine he's telling him he has 20 minutes before he's taken from Killua again.

Maybe he should wake Killua up so they could spend it together but...Gon wants Killua to get some rest. Gon can't do much for Killua but he can do this for him.

So Gon hums songs that Mito use to hum to him, stroking his love's hair, making the songs cheery as if they were back home and nothing mattered.

Killua sleeps soundlessly till that man comes back in the room after some time has passed. He claps his hands loudly, causing Killua's ears to jerk up and he sits up, his pupils wide and alert. When Killua first spots the man he looks over at Gon, those blue eyes looking relieved to see him. "Shit...I fell asleep didn't I? Why didn't you wake me?"

"Because I wanted you to get sleep." Gon kisses his forehead.

"It's time to go Gon. Me and you have much to do. Killua has to start his training. No worries, you will see him tomorrow-"

"This was barely anytime." Killua snarls, wrapping his arms around Gon, giving this man a dangerous look.

"Yes I apologize." The man doesn't look the least bit sorry. "But i've gotten reports that your brother is heading this way."

Killua considers this before his ears flatten. He looks to Gon, looking lost. Gon hugs him tightly, kissing him, wanting to take that look away.

"I'll see you tomorrow Killua. I would like to meet your brother though-"

"No. Take him from here." Killua says firmly pushing Gon away. The man grabs Gon's wrist and starts to pull him out, his eyebrows furrowing...Why can't he meet his brother? Isn't all of Killua's family here?...He knows he doesn't like them but Gon would like to see them...He looks back at Killua, those blue eyes staring at him, not blinking. Gon feels his heart break when he sees, just before the door closes, Killua reaching out towards him, his ears flatten and such a broken look on his face-

"I want to go back in there." Gon turns towards the door that just closed.

"You can't do that. It's my job to protect you and well...Illumi will kill you if he sees you around Killua. He's already told our leaders that he's not happy with keeping you alive. If you don't cooperate with me, i'll be forced to sedate you. If you cooperate, i'll take you to see Alluka."

Gon considers this before his shoulders slump. "I want to see Alluka." The man grins and starts to walk off, Gon following him glancing back at the door that he wishes he was going through. "...who is Illumi?"

"You don't know?" The man raises his eyebrow. "He is Killua's older brother. He's also the one who turned you in."

"But it was Hisoka-" Gon's eyes widen when he remembers those empty eyes that seemed to look through him. "...That guy..." Gon grips his fist. He gave him the chills. That's Killua's brother? The one that's about to see him? He doesn't like that-

"Do not worry about Killua. Illumi follows orders for the most part. He doesn't want to kill Killua. He has a strange love for his little brother. A selfish one. You do not need to worry about Illumi causing major damage to Killua, the one you need to be concerned about is yourself. You are a threat to Illumi and all he's done to teach Killua the ways of being an assassin. You've become Killua's weakness." The man hums.

"...Killua talked like he didn't want anything to do with his family except for Alluka. Illumi is the one who's taught Killua how to fight?" The man nods. "If he loves his brother, you would think he would try to get him out of his hell."

"You would think." The man repeats, humming to himself. "but in this area, he has the control. It's all about the control."

"Selfish love." Gon glances over at this man who's eyes crinkle.

"Indeed. Do no misunderstand me though. Illumi is still a threat to you. With you being Killua's mate, he won't stop till your dead. You're no match for him, or for any of the experiments for that matter. You're just a human...that's why I..." The man starts to laugh. Gon is so surprised by the sudden burst of chuckles that he stops walking to give the man a concerned look over. He's laughing so hard that he's coughing, hitting his chest.

"What's so funny?" Gon frowns when this man grabs him by the shoulders, those eyes shinning at him with tears, the mask hiding away the grin Gon is sure he has on his lips.

"Nothing is funny. I'm just so happy. I've been wanting to test it. So we'll just see...oh we'll just see." He keeps mumbling to himself, looking deep into Gon's amber eyes. "Do you feel it?"

"Feel what?" Gon doesn't like how those eyes keep crinkling and the strange giggles that seem to be spilling from this man.

"You can never leave. You still have that look in your eye." His laughter dies down, a more solemn expression in those eyes. "You know you would have to kill everyone here? Are you willing to kill for your freedom? And even if you got out, the government would never stop to look for you. You can't go back to your school or your apartment. Do you see?"

Gon swallows thickly. He didn't think it all through. All he was thinking about was getting out of this place with his family. They'll have to always be on the run...They'll have to leave the country. Gon will have to leave Mito behind and all his friends...but first of all, they'll have to make it out of the country before the government catches them again.

"And yet, that fire doesn't die." The man closes his eyes for a moment when he sees Gon's amber orbs burning just as brightly.

"I'll find a way." Gon says. "I will be getting my family out of here."

"Your family?" The man muses. "We'll just see won't we?" he stops in front of a door. When it opens, Gon walks through, spotting Alluka right away. She's hugging a stuffed animal to her chest, those blue eyes distant. Her ears perk up and she glances over at Gon, her eyes getting bright. She gets up quickly and runs towards him, Gon embracing her, letting out a sigh when he sees no wounds on her.

"Gon! I was scared something happened to you...i-it's been awhile." She nuzzles her head against Gon's.

"I'm sorry it took me so long to see you." Gon pulls away to see Alluka looking him over. She frowns deeply.

"I heard you got attacked by Hisoka...that big meanie!" She stomps her foot on the ground, a flash of anger that surprises Gon. "You've been so nice to him and then he attacks you...He's awful. When I see him, i'm going to beat him up for you Gon!"

"Alluka you don't have to fight Hisoka for my sake. I don't want you getting hurt. Hisoka is strong." Gon smiles gently when Alluka frowns. He rubs her cheek. "I couldn't stand it and neither could Killua if you got hurt. So stay safe for both of us okay?"

She looks at Gon for a long time before her ears flatten and she nods her head. "Kay..."

"I see you've been drawing. Care to show me?" Gon keeps his gentle smile as Alluka nods her head shyly, grabbing his hand and leading him over to her papers.

Gon feels his heart ache when he sees the pictures are mostly of Killua, Gon and Alluka standing together...and there's some pictures with Komugi floating above them like a happy ghost.

"If K-Komugi died do you think she'd still be able to find us?...Do you think her soul could find me? Even though she can't see...I've been singing, hoping she would follow my voice..." Alluka' shoulders shake suddenly.

"Alluka..." Gon wants to tell her that Komugi's not dead. That part of him still doesn't believe it. But when the tears fall down her face, Gon feels something in him break down. He hugs her tightly and she wails.

"I wanted us to be a family! I don't want to be away from you and big brother! I want to go back home! I don't want to be here!" She cries.

Gon holds her tighter, clenching his jaw...tears falling down his cheeks. He didn't want to cry. He wanted to at least be strong this way but he can't even do that. This is how it feels to be weak. To be useless. He's failed Alluka and Killua. If he was stronger...if he had more power...

He could have protected Alluka and Killua. They could be at his apartment. They could have had Christmas together.

If Gon wasn't so weak, Kilua wouldn't be looking so broken and Alluka wouldn't be crying. Weak...Weak...weak! He needs power. Power. More _power._

 **Power.**

"...Gon are you okay? Your breathing got heavy...did I upset you?" Alluka pulls away. Her ears flatten and she gasps. "Gon! Your eyes!"

"Power...need more...power..." Gon mumbles like a broken record.

"Gon? W-What's wrong?" Alluka moves away from him slowly, her ears back. She looks over at the lab human that is laughing. Alluka grips her fist. "W-What did you do?"

"You'll gain all the power you desire." The man hums, Gon look over over at him slowly. _Power.._.that's what he wants...to protect his family...to...power... **power.** "Looks like it's almost done. Just a bit more and...my, it looks like it's going to work. I was worried you were going to die...but look at that look. You really will be a beast."

"G-Gon I'm scared!" Alluka screams. "You evil man! What did you do? I won't forgive you if you've hurt Gon! Big brother will kill you!" She hisses and it's the first time Gon has heard that sound from the young girl.

Gon frowns, feeling very strange...his thoughts are all jumbled. He takes a step towards Alluka, and she takes a step back. Gon opens his mouth but all that comes out is an inhuman growl. Gon feels a sharp pain in his shoulder, his vision swimming. He falls to his knees, realizing then that the tears are still falling down his face.

"Don't hurt him anymore!" Alluka screams as Gon falls to his side, feeling everything start to fade away from him. He can't move. When the human goes to pick Gon up...he's surprised to see Alluka attack him. She scratches him and he can hear the human grunt. They move out of his line of vision but he hears Alluka's cry of pain. _Alluka!_

Gon turns on his stomach, clenching his jaw when he spots that human stabbing her with a needle. She falls with a thud on the ground, her head rolling over to the side. Gon snarls, jumping up from his spot, tackling this human, punching him in the stomach-

It feels warm and gooey.

The first thing Gon is aware of is the smell of blood and how good it smells. His vision is becoming more blurred.

"You want even more power..." The man wheezes out, blood dripping from the corner of his mouth. Those eyes are crinkling. "Just once more...and I'm sure...you would no longer be human...such a dangerous creature...I'm curious...aren't you?"

Gon's visions swims again and this time he falls to the ground, and he doesn't get back up.

"My..." The man covers the wound in his stomach, sliding down the wall, coughing up some blood. " To do such damage to this body..." He grins, closing his eyes. Slowly but surely the wound in his stomach closes up and he stands up. "Once more in the chamber..." He picks Gon up, throwing him over his shoulder...his grin is sinister.

"And you'll wake up a new being with the power you desire."

* * *

 **I'm just going to say this now. If once a week is not fast enough, this isn't the story for you. I want to thank everyone who's been supportive of this story. I love reading all your comments. So till next time!**


	17. Chapter 17

Komugi moves her piece, waiting for this creature to make his move. She doesn't know how long they've been playing. Komugi's stomach is growling and she's nodding off. Has it been a day? Maybe more. She dare not ask for a break and honestly she doesn't want to. This is fun to her. She loves playing Gungi and it's interesting seeing how this King gets better every game. For just learning about the game, this man is quickly becoming one of her greatest challenges.

What's more exciting to her is that this man is learning from her moves. He questions her sometimes and she'll explain about how she came up with the strategy. She hasn't gotten to speak much. She only speaks when the king asks her questions.

"What is your name?" His strong voice gets her to snap out of her half awake state.

"M-My name?" Komugi asks nervously.

"That is what I asked. Don't make me repeat myself again."

"My name is K-Komugi." She looks in the King's direction. She can feel his intense gaze.

"I see. Komugi, take a break. We'll continue this in a couple of hours." It sounds like he just stood up.

"I-I'm okay. I can keep going!" Komugi gives him this determined look.

"No. I don't want to win if it's because you're not at your best. Pitou, get her something to eat as well. I expect to see you back here at 20:00. Or I will kill you."

"T-Thank you for your hospitality." Komugi's eyes widen when she hears that she'll be getting food. She smiles at him. She stands up slowly, hearing someone step next to her.

She feels that intense gaze and she can't help to fidget.

"We'll find you something yummy!" That female voice from before says, which could only be Pitou. Someone grabs her wrist and starts to lead her away, she lets them but then she remembers something. "U-Um Excuse me King, may I ask what your name is?"

"Go." He growls.

Komugi nods her head, and she leaves with Pitou pulling her. The hands are cold and strange feeling. She hopes that sometime she'll be able to learn what the king's name is. She'd like to know who to thank. A name is more personal and with it she can start piecing together more about the king.

Some pieces of bread and a couple hours of sleep later, she's back in the throne room, playing the king in another match of Gungi.

Komugi's not sure how many times they do this. The king has yet to beat her. As she takes his spy, the king speaks.

"You have no eye sight yet you are able to master this game. How?" He questions.

"I've touched this board a lot and memorized it. I know how all the pieces feel and how much I should move to keep it in the squares. I see with my touch. I spent a lot of my free time playing this game." Komugi explains. "It's all I have."

"I see." The king is quiet for awhile except for saying where he moves his pieces. After awhile, Komugi's eyes light up when she realizes she's got the king cornered. She wins. "Again." Komugi nods eagerly.

She feels kind of bad though. She's suppose to be looking for Alluka and Killua. She's tried to ask but the king was quick to shut her up.

"Meruem."

"H-Huh?" Komugi breaks out of her thoughts, looking forward.

"That is my name."

Komugi takes a moment to process it before her white eyes light up. "Meruem.." She says before she starts to get into the game again. "It's nice to meet you formally!"

She feels that intense staring again. "Your turn."

And that's that. The game continues.

* * *

Killua stares at the door that's in his way, the door Gon was just taken through. His ears flatten on his head before he takes a deep breath and wills them away. Without his ears and tail now...he looks human. He was able to do the task he thought impossible. For Gon, he'd do anything and he can do anything.

Killua has always known his limits. He knows when something is too much for him or when an opponent is too strong. What's the point in fighting a fight you can't win? That's what he was taught but...even though Killua knew his limitations...

He went pass them to save Gon.

Because he's able to control his body more, Gon will be treated well. They've been taking care of him. Gon looked so much healthier. His wounds have healed good. Gon is okay. _He is._

Killua grips his fist, his lips going in a tight line.

...He keeps telling himself that. That Gon is okay. He keeps telling himself he's alright but he's not. He's not okay as long as he's in here. Everything isn't okay in till Gon is by his side and they keep taking him away. Killua hates it. He hates it so much. It feels like they're ripping him every time they take his mate away.

Killua hides this pain, he hides his desperation and puts on his mask of indifference for his brother. He won't give any of his emotions away. He'll complete his lessons and wait for Gon to come back to him.

The door opens and Killua turns to face his brother, his back straight and his arms stiffly at his sides- His face drops when someone else walks in.

"Hello Killua. Long time no see." Hisoka coos, the door closing behind him. Killua takes a minute of just staring at him before it registers who just came into his room. _Fucking. Hisoka._ Killua snarls, his teeth getting longer and his ears and tail coming back out. The veins in his muscles stick out, filled with the blood shunting to give him strength.

" **I'm going to kill you.** " Killua growls, his tail puffing up and his pupils dilating. Killua jumps on Hisoka, the man barely getting away from his sharp claws. The two run around the room, Hisoka keeping himself away while Killua growls, wanting nothing more than to rip him to pieces. Hisoka is keeping his distance. As soon as Killua gets a hold of him, it's going to be game over.

"What's with all the hostility?" Hisoka pouts, grinning when he stops running away and Killua jumps at him. Hisoka side steps him, cutting Killua's stomach in the process. The boy isn't deterred, he turns quickly and gets Hisoka good in his chest, the cut deep and hitting bone. Hisoka hisses, jumping back. He licks at his fingers that have Killua's blood and smirks despite the pain he must be in. "You're not still mad about what I did to Gon now are you? Come now, I didn't kill him and I didn't get to claim him either though I really, really wanted to feel his tight heat-"

Killua snarls, his eyes close to black. He moves to attack Hisoka, the man moving away from Killua, going back to dodging. "You almost killed him you fuck!" Killua screams, getting Hisoka good in his shoulder with a bite only to be hit by his fist in his side. Killua grinds his teeth, getting flung into the wall from the force of it but he knows he damaged Hisoka. Killua can see the bone of his left rib from his one slice and his shoulder is now bleeding profusely.

"I knew he wasn't going to die. You'd think I would destroy my play thing? As much as I would love to play with you Killua, this is not why I came here-" Hisoka stops, that amused smile falling from his face.

"You have some balls showing up here." Killua says in a low voice, popping his arm back into place that Hisoka had grabbed and pulled out of socket. He doesn't even flinch. "I don't care what you came here for. I'm going to kill you, and save Gon from you once and for all-" Killua is about to pounce but what Hisoka says next stops him.

"Gon is in trouble." Hisoka sees the hesitation so he continues. His expression still not amused. "I wanted to know what you plan on doing about it."

"Excuse me?" Killua grips his fist, his eyes trembling. "What's wrong with Gon?-"

"Don't tell me you haven't noticed. Or maybe you have and you've been ignoring it." Hisoka sighs when Killua's eyebrows furrow. "Gon has been here for a month now. Most of his time was spent in _that_ room. You know what that means don't you?"

Killua is silent, that crazed look leaving him, being replaced by something much smaller and meeker. "...They wouldn't do anything to him...I've been good. They wouldn't-"

"Do you really believe they wouldn't do anything because you listen to them?" Hisoka raises his eyebrow. Killua's bangs cover his eyes. "Even if they didn't do anything to Gon, how do you plan on getting him out of here? Gon has lost his normal human life. He can no longer go back to that and you know it."

"Of course I fucking know that!" Killua screams, it breaking at the end. "...I know he can't go back but...we can have a different life somewhere else. I'll get him out of here...I know I'm the reason that he.. _.fuck!_ " Killua curses, his voice laced with emotion, those blue eyes are filled with dread.

"I wonder." Hisoka hums, those yellow eyes watching the boy on the verge of breaking down. He averts his gaze, picking at his nails. "The scientists turned cats into humans. They are able to give animals human qualities so I wonder...if they can get ride of a beings humanity as well."

"What are you going on about?" Killua hisses, his ears back in a threatening way but those blue eyes tremble too much.

"You should listen to others advice when given to you." Hisoka sighs. "In order to save Gon, sacrifices have to be made. Being a good little kitty will get you no where. Gon is still alive but he doesn't have his life. He's own just like you are."

"We have a plan. Once he gets those devices out I can-"

"You can't. If you would let Gon die, you could be out with your sister. By keeping Gon alive, you're just trapping all of you-"

"Shut up." Killua breathes heavily. "I hate you! This is all your fucking fault! After everything Gon did for you, and this is what you do! I should have ripped your head off when I had the chance." Killua screams. "Hell I'd rather have seen my brother then sit here and talk to you about this. I promised I would protect my family and I'm going to protect them both. I'll do it." Killua hates how his voice wavers, how it gets weak and doubtful. He's doubting himself.

"Your brother will be here soon. I just wanted to have a word with you." Hisoka closes his eyes before he opens them and smirks. "You know that they've been doing things to him. You've been turning a blind eye to it but they've been experimenting on him. His blood tasted strange-"

"They haven't been doing anything to him!" Killua growls, jumping to attack him, wanting to sink his nails in him but he's quick to jump back. The door opens for him and he runs out. Killua runs to the door but it closes on him. He bangs on it till his knuckles get bloody and he falls to the floor.

He won't believe that. He can't believe that. It will drive him crazy. He's been behaved so why would they?...but why wouldn't they?

Killua digs his nails into his thigh when he feels the tears fall down his face. He growls, the inhuman noise coming from deep within his throat before he punches the floor.

 _Please be wrong. Please be okay. You have to be okay...you have to be._

"Gon will be here tomorrow...he will be here and he's alright." Killua talks to himself...when he thinks of Gon's smile and how his amber eyes had looked a bit different today...

He won't believe it. He can't believe. Because of him Gon has already lost so much.

No more. Not to Gon. Anything but him. Killua will beg, he'll do whatever so...not him. Killua knows that if this continues...If they keep him away, if Killua is left with all these horrible thoughts and worries...

He will lose it.

Gon is his love, his mate, his life, and his family. Gon is the reason why he was so happy. Gon is the reason why he got to spend so much time with his sister. Gon has done so much for him.

Killua is a shitty mate that can't do anything in return but take. He keeps taking from Gon but he doesn't stop, he can't stop.

Killua needs Gon now. He needs his smile, his scent, his kind words and his warm body. Even if the humans did something to him, even if they make Gon a monster...Killua would still know his mate.

Killua can't think about them doing that to him. He hates them. He hates all of them. He will kill them...he has to save Gon.

Killua whimpers, wanting nothing more to curl up with Gon and feel his firm body against his. He wants to run his fingers though his hair and he wants to hear Gon chuckle and say 'I love you Killua' in that embarrassing way of his. He wants Gon to kiss him and to keep him warm.

Killua clenches his bloody fist, letting the tears fall a bit more before his face becomes emotionless. Just in time for his brother to come.

Killua misses Gon terribly. He feels like he's going insane. He's trying to hold on to what sanity he has left...Hisoka's words have made it worse. He's worried about his mate.

 _Gon..._

* * *

Komugi isn't sure how long she's been here, it's hard to say. Most of her time has been spent with the king, playing Gungi...she's come to really enjoy their matches. She loves the time spent with the King and the small conversations they have sometimes.

At first she couldn't get any information about Killua and Alluka. Meruem would tell her to be quiet and she would be quiet. Only when he asked her questions would she speak. One day, Meruem had asked Komugi who were the young girl and boy she was looking for and she told him about Alluka and Killua...and also Gon.

That's how she found out Gon hasn't been truthful. Komugi doesn't blame him though, if it wasn't Meruem who told her and if she wasn't playing Gungi with a being that eats humans, than she might have thought Gon was having an episode.

Meruem told her that Killua and Alluka are government experiments, just like himself. He also told her the humans built this 'room' to keep them sealed because of their threat to humanity. Meruem had chuckled darkly and told her that he can break the seal. He's just been sitting and waiting for the perfect moment. The humans made him too powerful, he had said.

This 'room' is nothing to sneer at.

There's the throne room where Komugi and Meruem play their games mostly. There's the kitchen, Komugi's guest room, and Meruem's room where they've been playing games in private for awhile now. There's many other rooms for the other creatures here. It's like a castle it's so big. Komugi has gotten lost a few times and one of Meruem's servants had to find her.

Meruem is strong and Komugi can hear the servants' voices quake in fear when they speak to him but Komugi thinks he's kind. Well, he's kind to her. He's provided food for her to eat, a place to stay, and he spends all day with her playing Gungi. No one has spent this much time with her before, no one has been this interested, even if it is just to beat her in Gungi.

Maybe it's just because Komugi doesn't have many people that are kind to her that she considers Meruem her friend. It's probably improper of her too, since he's a king and all. She's just been having so much fun here. Sometimes she forgets that she has other things she has to do. The whole day can just go by when she plays Gungi with Meruem. She holds the conversations they have dearly and anything she learns new about the king she holds close.

But lately something has changed with Meruem.

Komugi's eyebrows furrow as she moves her spy up a space, taking out his cannon. He placed the cannon carelessly. It was a mistake he usually wouldn't make. Meruem is very quiet as well. He's been like this since this morning but this strange behavior has been going on for a couple of days now.

"Is something wrong?" Komugi asks softly, listening for his reply.

"No." He says shortly. She can feel his eyes on her. "I quit this game. We'll continue this later. Take a break." Komugi hears him stand up and walk away. She frowns, gathering up the pieces of the game to put it away. That was the first time he walked away from a game without finishing. Is he getting bored with it? Maybe he's frustrated with not being able to beat her.

Komugi gets herself up before she walks, feeling against the wall to find the way out. If she remembers correctly, if she keeps going straight, her room should be on the left. She opens the door and walks in, leaving the door open.

She's been here too long. Komugi calmed down when she heard that Alluka and Killua were really strong but what if they still need help? Alluka was very kind to her...

Komugi feels for the bed before she sits down, sinking into the soft mattress. The young girl frowns to herself...she wants to keep playing. She wants to keep getting better. She wants to talk with Meruem and have him in the same room. When she speaks, she feels like Meruem is really listening. He's taking in everything she says, just as Komugi takes in everything he speaks.

He's protective of her as well. Komugi remembers this one time when she had gotten lost in the castle and ended up being attacked by a hungry creature. She remembers feeling pain in her arm and crying out and then...there was a splatting sound. There was no pain, just the sound of dripping.

" _What are you doing out here?! You should be in your room. Look at your arm, you're injured! Were you trying to escape?" Meruem's voice that had started off loud got angry towards the end._

" _N-No. I just didn't want to bother anyone. I couldn't remember where my room was so I...just kept walking-"_

" _You're not a bother. You are our guest!" He had said...only to go quiet afterward._ Komugi just remembers crying. Meruem was holding her hand with so much care. He wasn't angry at her that she caused trouble. He's so kind. He had asked her why she was crying, and he seemed unsure and almost flustered. Komugi just told him...it was because of his kindness.

Meruem made sure she got her wounds taken care of by Pitou. See? Very kind. So is Pitou. She always gets her something to eat and she talks to her sometimes. Pouf doesn't seem to like her much but she understands she's over stayed her welcome. They've been taking care of her for some time now.

It's strange. Maybe Komugi should be afraid or upset that he eats humans. Maybe she should fear for her life but she's never been afraid of death. She figured that her death would be helpful to her family. A mouth less to feed.

She doesn't feel like a burden here. She feels like Meruem really enjoys playing with her.

Komugi lays down in bed, looking up at the ceiling. She wonders how Gon is doing? He was probably really confused when they were all gone...She frowns thinking about it. Gon would probably search everywhere for them when he saw how the door was broken. He would look out in the cold and when he didn't find them...he would have kept looking. Komugi's stomach twists and she turns on her side, closing her eyes.

She's been so busy that she hasn't been thinking about Gon. She was worrying about Alluka and Killua...then there was Meruem and all the Gungi and talk about experiments and government labs. She's overlooked something great. _Gon._ What happened with Gon? Killua and Alluka must have meant something to him and he's so kind...

She grips her blanket, trembling. She needs to find Alluka and Killua some how and bring them back to Gon.

"Komugi." Her eyes widen at that voice and she turns around, facing the voice. She hears him walk closer, and then his rough fingers are touching her cheek. "What's wrong?" He asks with that firm voice "You're crying."

"I-I'm just worried." Komugi sniffles, wiping at her nose that she knows is running. "I've been here so long...I'm worried about Gon. I don't know what happened to him...he must be worried sick and Alluka and Killua."

"Gon?" Meruem repeats. "I've heard that name recently by someone... I think Pouf said he was a human the scientists captured."

"Wait, Gon is here?" Komugi frowns deeply.

"I am not certain. I will have Pouf check right away and gather us information." Meruem is quiet for a moment.

"Are you okay?" Komugi asks cautiously. He usually doesn't come to her room.

"I've been feeling strange recently." He admits and Komugi nods. This behavior has been going on for a couple of days now. "You're done something to me." He growls.

Komugi's eyes widen and she shakes her head. "What have I done? I don't remember upsetting you..." Her eyebrows furrow.

"Ever since you've come here I've..." He trails off. "Your words keep running through my head and you make me question myself. That's not what's been bothering me the most..." Komugi can feel his breath on her face. "'What do I want to do with you?' is the question I've been trying to answer."

Komugi doesn't answer.

"I don't want to eat you. I don't want to kill you. I don't want you leaving." Komugi's eyes widen slightly at the end, and she feels her heart beat faster. "...I've done some research of my own and I've found what I want to do with you...it was troubling for a bit. But I've come to terms with it."

"Come to terms with w-what?-" Komugi questions only to be cut off by a pair of lips on her own. Her eyes widen, the shock paralyzing her. The king is kissing her. His lips feel human just cold...they're not the softest but they don't feel bad. Her heart feels like it could come out of her chest.

"That was a kiss correct? You know what I'm saying?" Meruem waits for an answer but Komugi is still trying to process what just happened.

"Y-Y-You k-kissed m-me." Komugi touches her lips, remembering the feeling. That was her first kiss.

"Yes I did." Meruem's stare becomes intense. "Do you have some sort of problem with it?"

"N-No!" Komugi shakes her head, her hands flying around. "I've j-just never had anyone do that! I..." Her face is so flushed and hot. "I j-just don't understand..."

"I want you as my mate." He says bluntly. "You're going to be my queen."

There's no choice in his words but Komugi wouldn't have chosen anything other than that. Her heart beats all the more faster and she feels like she could die from a heart attack. Tears well up in her eyes and she feels them pour down her face.

"Why do you cry?" He asks, the voice not soft but not as stern. "Are you unhappy-"

"Is it really okay?...for someone like me to be this happy?" The tears keep coming. "You really want me...no one has wanted me in that way. You've...You've made me really happy."

"I don't know how to respond when you cry." He says after awhile. Komugi feels something wrap around her waist and pull her closer...She knows it's not his arms. "Smile instead." It's more of a command then anything but Komugi feels herself smile...though her tears still fall. She can't stop.

She feels Meruem kiss her again, softly, cautiously. He treats her very gently. This time she's able to move her lips. This is her first and she's not too sure if what's she's doing is good. It's nice that Meruem is just as clumsy as her in this. The kiss stays soft and sweet.

"I have not finished my research so I will not go farther than this." Meruem says sternly, pulling himself away from Komugi. "Lets play Gungi." He unwraps his tail from Komugi and stands up. Komugi reaches out, grabbing his hand, wanting to hold it. His hands are much bigger than hers, much stronger. It seems he only has four fingers...interesting. She can feel Meruem stare at her before looking at their hands. "What is this?" He asks.

"I j-just wanted to hold your hand...humans do it sometimes. I g-guess it's a way to show affection." She explains, feeling her face get red. She pulls her hand out. "I'm s-sorry-"

He grabs her hand. Komugi almost wants to cry again. He pulls her out of the room, never letting go of her hand, his tail wrapping gently around her hips.

Komugi never thought she would have this. She never thought anyone would be interested in her this way but...here she is, with a powerful king that wants her to be his queen. It doesn't matter what he is. What is appearance to her anyway? From what she felt...he's beautiful. Meruem can be cruel but Komugi has seen his heart. There's something human about him, and that human part of him is holding her hand right now.

It feels wrong, being so happy when she has no idea where Gon is, if he's here, if he's okay. She hopes she finds out soon so she can fully enjoy this...Komugi's heart beats slowly as Meruem lets go of her hand and they sit on opposite sides to play.

It feels like all her training in Gungi, all her life experiences, were leading her up to this. To the day she would meet Meruem. She feels like she's found another purpose other than playing Gungi and trying to make amends with her family.

Being kidnapped, Meruem... They are the light at the end of the tunnel that she was sure was a train but it turned out to be her salvation.

Komugi giggles, her happiness coming out and she'll never know how her white eyes sparkle. She'll never see how Meruem stares at her with his eyes slightly wide before he smiles himself. It's so small but it's there.

"You go first." He says, his voice much lighter.

* * *

Amber eyes flutter open, specks of black surrounding the pupil, making the eyes look much darker. The pupil constricts as it takes in his surroundings, noting that he's in some sort of container and unable to move. Not wanting to be in this anymore, Gon feels his muscles tense and with little effort he's able to rip out of his restrictions and shatter the thick glass that was holding him.

Gon stares at the broken glass, his breathing uneven as he looks at his hands. They tremble with excitement and he has to clench his fists to stop such shaking. _Power._ He's gotten it. Gon feels his lips turn up into a smile and he laughs. Not at all concerned that his hands are more claws than hands. The soft flesh has been replaced with sharp nails and rough skin.

Gon glances around the room, taking in all the chemicals in bottles and the smell of alcohol reeks in this place. He wrinkles his nose and walks to the door, knowing that he wants to get out. He pulls his fist back and punches the door with all his might. The metal door made of titanium flies off the hinges and cracks the glass wall of this place.

Gon laughs, clenching his fists and smiling. So much power. He's gotten the power he's wanted.

Gon glances around the hallway and for some reason he knows that no one is around. At least, they're here but far away. He can smell them.

Gon becomes puzzled, and he stands there for a good while pondering what he should do next. He feels like there was something that needed to be done. He knows he doesn't like it here. He knows he wants to leave but there's something else...When he leaves, where does he want to go? Gon's eyebrows furrow.

...Who knows.

Gon starts walking down the hallway, following the smell, but he still wonders. He had a goal...but maybe he's already reached his goal. All he can remember is wanting power. For what purpose? Gon becomes puzzled again and his lips go in a tight line...before the answer comes to him.

His lips curl up into a smile. He's gotten the power to have the ability to destroy. He can destroy this place and everyone in it. That sounds right but there's still a part of Gon that is puzzled. If his goal isn't to destroy this place...then for what purpose did he gain power?

….He's not sure.

"My, My. Look at you little one." Gon had sensed his presence before he saw him but he decided to let him get closer. As soon as he sees the man with the smirk and that red hair, a name comes to his mind.

"Hisoka." Gon states.

"So you remember me?" He sounds pleased.

"Yes I do." The specks in those amber eyes become more in number, his pupils getting bigger. "You're the one who attacked me. You've been pushing me around like I'm nothing, well..." Gon grins. "I'm not weak anymore Hisoka."

"That you are not. That's one menacing smile little one." Hisoka's yellow eyes shine with excitement only for a moment but when he looks into those amber eyes...his smile slowly falls. "It would be much more interesting if you had the same look. It's all wrong now. You're no longer the human Gon."

Gon isn't listening. All he can think about is how good it will feel to dig his hands into his guts and rip them from his body. His blood is going to smell so good. Gon wants to hear him scream. Hisoka will be his first testament to his power. He'll carry his head around as a trophy.

"Destroy...Destroy..."Gon laughs and it shakes his whole body. He remembers Hisoka was at his old home. He remembers everything but there's no emotion attached to it. Just the desire to destroy and to show the power he has...only the desire to gain more power. "I'm stronger than you...I am!" Gon jumps towards Hisoka. The man is already injured, Gon can smell his blood and see his snitches...Gon will rip those open. Gon feels something in his chest but it's not worry. It's anger. He's going to be the one to kill him.

Hisoka jumps away from him. Those yellow eyes regard him before he takes off running down the hallway. Gon runs after him, getting on all fours just because he knows he'll be faster. He causes Hisoka to do the same. Gon keeps chasing him watching with his pupils getting bigger. He smells others around and he could go after them but...he wants Hisoka. This power is to destroy everything and everyone. Hisoka seems important.

Hisoka runs to this door before he uses his strength to knock it off the wall. He runs inside and Gon follows after him. He stops when he hears a voice.

"What the hell are you doing in here again-" The voice filled with rage starts only to stop when those blue eyes lock onto Gon. The boy stands there with his eyes so wide, filled with sudden sorrow and dread. Gon decides he doesn't like that look much. But how can he get rid of it? The boy must be in pain...the specks in Gon's eyes over take his amber till there's nothing left and he smiles widely.

He'll put him out of his misery. That will get rid of the look.

"Gon...No...What have they done? I'm..." _Killua._ That's his name. Gon remembers him. He knows he's _really_ important. This power was meant for him wasn't it? Then he must make sure he gives him this power. He wants Killua to be with him always and to get rid of that look, he'll have to kill him. Then he can carry Killua anywhere he wants.

"He's unstable." Hisoka warns and just when he says that Gon jumps towards Killua, his blood pumping and his smile wide. Killua's eyes widen at the attack but he's quick on his feet and he moves away.

"Gon! What are you doing? Don't attack me! It's me, Killua!" Killua sounds desperate but that just makes Gon want to hurt him more. He's so cute. Worried about him.

"It's because it's you! I've become stronger...don't you want to see?" Gon jumps towards Killua, this time he's fast enough that Killua can't move. He punches Killua in the gut, the boy blocking it with his arm...Gon hears the crack before Killua is sent flying across the room, hitting his back hard against the wall.

Gon chuckles when Killua looks up at him, his arm hanging limply by his side. Gon is going to destroy him completely. All those scars caused by others, Gon will make his own so it'll be like all those old wounds are gone. Nothing will be left but Gon.

Gon's eyes widen when Hisoka gets on him, he hits him hard in the back, Gon feeling a chunk of him getting ripped out from those claws.

"Don't hurt him!" Killua snarls at Hisoka, his ears and tail coming out.

"CuTe ...ThAt VoIcE." Gon doesn't recognize his own voice. He lunges towards Killua, forgetting about Hisoka and just focusing on those blue eyes that already look in pain. The poor thing. Gon wants to take that pain away. It won't take long. That's what this power was for isn't it? For Killua. To take away his pain.

He'll take it all away.

Killua hops away just in time, Gon punching the wall instead, leaving a large hole. "Gon!" Killua tries again, his voice broken. "It's me...it's me Killua. Don't you remember? You're my mate...I'm sorry. I'm sorry they've done this to you. I'm sorry I've failed you but please...don't look at me like that. Don't hate me. I can't take that."

"I don't hate you." Gon becomes puzzled again. He thinks, and he feels like he's missing something. He feels as if this power was to take away his pain...so it's okay to do this isn't it? But there's some confusion in his mind.

"Gon...it's okay." Killua takes a step closer and Gon's not sure what he should do. Killua gets so close, those blue eyes looking firmly into his own. "...They've made you like me...but don't tell me they've taken all of you. Where is that smile I know? Why are those eyes...have they turned you into a monster?" Killua's lips go in a tight line before those blue eyes become black. "If you are monster, i'll be a monster too. I don't care Gon. I will follow you anywhere so don't look at me like that."

"I don't want you to be a monster." Gon grabs Killua by the neck, Killua squeaking from the sudden pressure. He lifts Killua off the ground, watching as Killua grabs his hands but doesn't do much to pull them away. He stares at Gon through one eye, the other one closed, his mouth open as he fights for air. "I just don't want you to hurt anymore."

Killua stares into those eyes for a moment before he smiles. "...There's still...a part of you...left." Gon just tightens his grip and he watches as Killua's face changes colors. It looks like he's given up. Those blue eyes are slowly losing light. "...I...Love...you..." He wheezes out with the air he has left. He's almost dead. Is this the purpose of his power?...Gon can't help to remember those blue eyes when they had been bright, and those lips in a smile...

Gon lets go of him, Killua falling on his butt. He coughs and rubs at his throat. Gon frowns, that didn't seem right. He looks down at his hands that are trembling. Why did he get this power? Gon looks at Killua's bruised neck and broken arm.

….Who knows?

"Gon hurt me all you want. But I need to see those amber eyes again. I need you to come back. They couldn't have taken everything. I won't believe that." Killua gets on his knees and hugs Gon around the waist with his own good arm, burying his head in Gon's stomach. Gon is every much aware of Killua's breath on his bare flesh. He feels a soft tongue dart out of Killua's mouth and lick his hip. "Come back..." He mutters between kisses, kissing and sucking right above his private area.

The gentleness makes his heat pool and he has the greatest urge to just take Killua. Right here and now. Gon surely has the power to do so. Gon grabs Killua by the hair and yanks him back, pushing him down so he hits his back hard and Gon can hover over him. Killua's pupils hone in on the look he's giving him.

"Gon...Come back." He tries. "Ask if I'm okay...look at me like you use to." He hisses when Gon leans in and bites his shoulder, drawing blood, loving the taste. He pulls away and licks his lips. That look on Killua's face doesn't look right either. Is this not the reason for his power? "Gon." He tries again. He pleads.

Gon thinks over his feelings but before he can say anything, he's knocked off of Killua by Hisoka, hitting the wall hard enough that the steel dents. Gon hisses in pain, glaring darkly over at Hisoka only to stop when he sees that Hisoka is choking Killua.

Killua's ears are back and he's hissing, thrashing in his hold but since Hisoka is stepping on his only good arm, he can't do anything to help himself. Gon's eyes hone into the distress that's coming over Killua, how those pupils constrict, how his face is getting blue. That's not what he wants. He knows that. This power wasn't to make Killua have that face...

Something clicks into place and Gon roars, charging towards Hisoka. He punches Hisoka in the face, knocking him away from Killua. The young boy gasps for air, breathing heavily to catch his breath. Gon gets in front of Killua, the black specks in his eyes separating and showing the amber color that he had lost. This power is to protect. To protect his family, to protect Killua. Not to take away his pain by destroying him, but by protecting him.

"Gon..." Killua says cautiously. Gon turns around to face him, being filled with dismay from seeing his broken arm and bruises he had caused. Gon gets down on his hands and knees and starts to lick at Killua's neck apologetic. Killua tenses only to completely melt, sighing softly and wrapping his arms around him tightly. "Ah...Gon...Don't scare me like that." Killua scolds but it's not harsh when Gon licks his cheek before going to lick his broken arm gently.

"Sorry..." Gon's voice is much deeper than he remembers and he's starting to become aware that something is different about his body. "Didn't mean to..." Gon has trouble getting words out. His vocal cords seem different.

"I know Gon. I know you didn't mean to do this. Those bastards did this to you. You've come back. That's all I care about. These wounds will heal...just don't leave me." Killua hugs Gon tightly, pulling him up to kiss him. Gon closes his eyes when he feels that soft tongue against his...rough one. Gon pulls away, frowning when he gets really warm quickly.

"Haa...Something is...wrong." Gon warns just before he feels an intense pain in his muscles. He screams it hurts so much, the agony too much to hold in. It feels like his muscles are ripping from off his bones only to reattach and to do so again. Killua just hugs him tightly, saying something but Gon can't understand what he's saying in his panic.

Consciousness is ripped from him abruptly.

* * *

"My king, I must speak with you immediately! I've found some disturbing news." Komugi blinks when she hears that beautiful voice and feels a gust of wind next to her.

"Speak it now." Meruem grunts, not taking his eye off the game.

"But the human-" Pouf starts, Komugi can feel his eyes on her.

"Anything you have to say you can say it in front of her. She is my queen." He says sharply. Komugi feels herself flush, the young girl fiddling with her fingers, her heat beating faster. The air gets a bit tense. It's been like that since he's told his servants the news. She can really feel Pouf"s dislike of her through his looks, even though she can't see them.

"...Yes." Pouf is silent for a moment before he takes a deep breath. "My king, I did my research on the human Gon you asked about."

"Get on with it." Meruem speaks his move but Komugi is having trouble focusing on the game when Pouf is about to tell her about Gon.

"Gon has been recently captured by the scientists. He's in the lab, in room 489." Pouf sounds like he's frowning. "From what I could gather, it seems that they've been doing experiments on the human."

"N-NO." Komugi drops the piece she was moving, her eyes open and they shake. "W-What kind of experiments? Is h-he okay?"

When Pouf doesn't respond to her, Meruem's dark voice speaks. "She asked you a question. You will treat her with respect. I won't tell you again."

"...Ah no my queen. I'm sorry to say that Gon has been chosen to be project X." Pouf answers, a bit reluctant.

Meruem stiffens, he exchanges a look with Pouf that Komugi can't see.

"What is p-project x?" Komugi frowns deeply. What ever it is, it doesn't sound good.

"We do not know much about it. Just that the humans made it and that it's power may be equal to my own. Surely who ever becomes project X is no longer human." Meruem answers her this time. "...The last I heard it was unstable. I guess the humans were hiding more information from us than we anticipated."

"...I-Is Gon going to be o-okay? Why would they d-do this to him?" Komugi thinks of Gon's friendly voice and all those times he would let her come into his home to get away from her life for a bit.

"From what I learned, Gon is unstable. He's alive but wild is what one of their reports had said. They're planning on seeing if he can kill other experiments by setting him loose and seeing what happens. Currently he's in Killua's chambers-"

"G-Gon wouldn't kill Killua...G-Gon wouldn't kill anyone!" Komugi trembles. Meruem's lips tug down in a displeased frown at seeing that expression on the young girl.

"As Project X he would-" Pouf starts.

"Enough." Meruem growls. Komugi feels the king get up and he moves closer towards her. "You are shaking..." He pauses before he touches her face gently. His touch is so cold but she doesn't shy away from it. She hugs his arm and he tenses. He stays stiff for a moment before relaxing.

"I-I'm scared for them..." Komugi sniffles.

"I can bring the three of them here. Killua, Alluka...and Gon."

"My king if he has power like yours we should kill him-"

"I will say what needs to be done." Meruem snaps. "I will not kill him till we assess him. If he is a threat, then we'll handle it. Right now, we are going to save him. If Gon has just turned into project X, as of right now he's weak. The more the humans tweak him, the stronger he'll get."

"Y-You're going to save Gon?" Komugi looks up with hopeful eyes. The tense gaze softens and Komugi can feel his tail curled around her waist.

"Yes." Komugi squeaks when The king picks her up, holding her close to his chest. "Get Yupi and Pitou." Meruem chuckles darkly, Komugi shivering slightly in his hold.

"It's time to break the seal."

* * *

Killua feels Gon go limp in his arm but he doesn't stop embracing him. He rocks them back and forth, something he would do with Alluka when they were younger when he got to see her to calm her down. But really Gon doesn't need to be calmed down right now, It's Killua.

His heart is beating so fast, and there's a pressure in his chest that won't go away. His pupils are constricted and shaking, his breath ragged. He's so upset. He doesn't' know what to do with himself now that Gon can't see him. Gon doesn't need to be worrying about him when Killua is the one about the flip the fuck out because of what has happened to Gon.

Killua couldn't give a shit about his broken arm or the bruises. They're nothing. Killua was terrified when Gon attacked him but not because he was scared Gon would kill him...Killua could feel his instinct kicking in. The more Gon growled and hurt him, Killua could feel his body getting ready to fight back. He didn't want to hurt Gon. He was scared he would attack Gon. He didn't want to hurt his mate. He didn't want to fight him. It was like Gon wanted that. Gon was trying to provoke him to fight. Killua blames it on whatever those bastards have done to the older male.

"You see now don't you?" Hisoka's tail flicks as his yellow eyes take in Gon.

"Yes..." Killua gets it. He should have known. He just didn't want to believe it. He kept telling himself that Gon was safe as long as he behaved but he knew it was a lie deep down. It was all he could do to keep himself sane.

They have damaged Gon. In the short amount of time, they've changed his life. Killua can't give him back the life he had, even if he were to get Gon out of here. Killua isn't stupid. Even if he wasn't turned into an experiment like Killua was, Killua still couldn't have given Gon his regular life back.

The self hate hits him in a wave and his shoulders shake as he holds Gon closer, wishing that Gon had caused him more damage. Gon had talked with such bright eyes about his school and his dream to become a doctor to help others. He was always working so hard in his schooling. Killua has taken his dream, he won't be able to be a doctor. He won't be able to fit in with the humans he cares so much about.

"I wonder what they mixed him with." Hisoka hums, seeming more interested than distraught like Killua is. "Such power he has now." Hisoka moves closer. He crouches down, licking his lips as he takes in Gon's new form.

He takes in the ears on Gon's head that look like a cats, the claws for hands, the large puffy tail that looks more like a dogs, His teeth that are sharp and ragged not like a dogs or a cats. Those eyes have to be the most interesting though. Amber eyes tainted by specks of black and gold, they changed with Gon's different emotions. When black, he would attack. When Gold...he seemed like a different being entirely. Those amber eyes show what's left of the human.

"It seems like different animals to me. The most interesting thing is that he didn't have those cat ears till just now. They're the same color as yours too. It's amazing he's still alive. He impresses me every day." Hisoka's lips curl.

Killua can feel Gon's heart rate and his breathing pattern. To his relief, Gon is just passed out. His muscles are contracting and it must have been painful, it's like he's having a small seizure and he very well might be. Killua doesn't know what to do to help his mate.

Killua just holds onto him tighter. He's frozen. He doesn't know what to do. He can't think. He can't do anything for him.

"Are you broken?" Hisoka smirks and Killua can't even respond. "Have you given up?" Killua trembles when Hisoka slowly takes Gon's body from him, it's like he can't get his body to move. "Tis a shame." Hisoka strokes Gon's cheek, now that he's on his back, Killua can see how his eyebrows are furrowed in discomfort. "If you're not going to act, I'll give you a little push but if you're not careful, I may just steal him from you~" Hisoka turns Gon on his stomach. Only when he cuts into his lower back does Killua snap out of his trance.

"Don't you hurt him!" Killua roars, his eyes turning black. Hisoka moves out of the way just when Killua pounces. He bares his teeth, covering Gon's body with his own in a protective manor.

"Oh there you are." Hisoka hums. He points at Gon. "Now is your chance to get the devices out. Are you going to waste it crying? How pathetic." He sneers.

Despite the anger Killua feels, and how his hair bristles...he's right. Now is his chance. Killua mutters an apology as he digs into Gon's back, being mindful of his spine as he digs and feels. When he finds the device he pulls it out, frowning when the wound starts to steam, the wound burning and healing itself. Killua digs into the back of his thigh, remembering Gon told him one was here too. He lets out a long breath of air before he digs into his flesh, closing his eyes when Gon whimpers. He finds it and rips it out.

Killua digs into his own stomach and takes out the tracking device he's been feeling under his skin for too long.

"It's okay." Killua whispers as he licks at the blood on the back of Gon's thigh before pressing kisses up his back, wanting to show him the affection that Gon has been showing him. Killua's ears twitch when he hears Gon's breathing become more even. "I'm going to get you out of this." Killua says firmly to both himself and Gon as he stands up, picking Gon up, throwing him over his shoulder because of his broken arm.

"So cute." Hisoka smirks when Killua sends him a sharp glare.

"Make yourself useful and get out of my sight."

"What makes you think I would help you escape?" Hisoka hums.

"Are you going to stop us?" Killua bares his teeth, his ears going back in warning.

"No." Hisoka ears twitch when an alarm starts to be set off. Hisoka watches as Killua runs out of the room and is about to turn towards the hallway that will lead him to Alluka. "If you go to get Alluka, You'll be caught."

"I'll fight them. I'm not leaving Alluka." Killua grinds his teeth. Killua runs as fast as he can with Gon on him. It's a lot harder running with only holding Gon on him with one arm. His other one hurts when he runs as well, just flopping around and stinging. When Killua gets to Alluka door, he shunts his blood to his leg and he kicks as hard as he can. Alluka's door isn't as strong as his was so it comes off with just that kick.

"Alluka we're leaving!" Killua runs in, his adrenaline pumping. His heart feels like it seizes in his chest when he sees Illumi standing there. His sister glaring darkly at Illumi, on her hands and knees, her ears back but there's tears in her eyes.

"I knew you would come for it." Illumi says, those empty eyes looking from Killua's frighten face from Gon who is limp on his shoulder. "This is foolish Kil. Just put the thing down and let the humans do what they wish. You're progressing so much. It won't be long now." Illumi takes a step closer.

His words snap Killua out of his trance. He called his sister an it and he called Gon a thing. Illumi is going to tear his family apart. He wants them to stay like this. Illumi is the reason Gon is here in the first place. He's the one who brought him here. If Killua fought him back at the apartment, if he hadn't been so scared...

Gon would still have the same amber eyes and his dreams.

Killua grinds his teeth before he gently places Gon down on his back, kissing him gently on the lips before turning to face Illumi. Killua isn't going to run anymore. He's not going to be a coward. The time he spent with Gon were the happiest in his life. Even before he was a human. Killua isn't going to let anything more happen to him. He isn't going to let Illumi ruin and hurt his family. In order to save them, he has to fight Illumi.

Because of Gon, Killua knows what it means to be human. He understands how to show affection and he's learned to love and to be loved. Gon showed him such kindness even when he just thought Killua was a stray cat on the street. Gon's heart is so big and beautiful...

Killua ran before and now he has to face the consequences of his actions. He's not running again. Not now, Not ever.

Killua's expression becomes stone, his nails getting longer with his teeth. His pupils become long like a snakes, and his veins becomes distended and filled with blood. He can feel the bone that was broken start to fix itself. It's been a long time since Killua flipped his switch but he'll give this all he has.

"You are going to fight me." It's more of a statement than a question. If he's surprised, Illumi doesn't show it. He doesn't even blink. "You are no match for me Kil. You know better than to fight a match you can not win." He says in that memorizing voice, slowly and clearly.

Killua feels his body tense and he swallows when Illumi takes a step forward but he doesn't back down. He's scared. He is but this time is different. All his past training and Illumi's voice is whispering at him, trying to tempt him with the idea of running away and saving his own life.

Killua won't do that anymore. Killua isn't just worried about losing his life anymore.

"You stay away from big brother and Gon!" Killua's eyes widen when Alluka stands up, running to get in front of Killua, her ears back in warning. Her pupils have gotten bigger and her tail puffed up, her nails longer. Killua has never seen her in this threatening form. The scientists weren't even able to do that. But her Alluka is, with her teeth longer and her nails very sharp. "We'll beat you together! I won't let you hurt big brother or Gon. They're my family and they love me!"

"Alluka..."Killua's eyes shake in his emotions. Alluka is so small, no match for Illumi but she's shown more courage than Killua has in his entire life. She's doing something that Killua should have been doing from the start. Killua feels his chest get tight and if not for the fight about to take place, he might have sobbed.

He loves Alluka. He loves his little sister. He loves Gon. He loves his mate.

"This ends now." Killua growls, his voice much stronger, thicker, deeper. The desire he had to protect his family takes over and the fear he had is pushed to the back of his mind, nothing more than a whisper.

"You're making a mistake." Illumi hums in that voice but Killua isn't listening to him. He's rejecting him and all the limits he put on him.

"The only mistake I made was not killing you before any of this happened!" Killua snarls, knowing Illumi will wait for him to make the first move so he does. Killua jumps towards him, his pupils honing in on the fast movements his brother makes to get away from his claws. He does a spin, cutting Illumi on the shoulder just as the his brother kicks him to the side.

Those black eyes look towards Gon's body- Alluka is on him, she cuts him good in the ribs, hissing. Illumi's ears come out and he grabs Alluka's arm, Killua hearing the cracking sound before his sister's cry of pain.

"Get your fucking hands off!" Killua growls, tackling Illumi off of his sister, the two strong beings rolling on the floor. Illumi is stronger than him, that is a fact but if Killua plays his cards right, he can kill him. He's not going to give up. Brother or not, he's standing in the way of his family's safety. Killua punches with all his might, instead of his hand going through his brother's chest like he wanted, Illumi turns his body so he hits his arm. The bone shatters.

Illumi makes a sound that could have been a grunt of pain before his other arm turns oddly, the bones breaking only to get back together before he grabs Killua by the face and squeezes. Killua can feel his skull start to give in from the pressure-

Illumi hisses when he's bitten hard on the neck by Alluka. He throws Killua hard, and stands up, Alluka hanging off of him, her teeth still latched in deep. He grabs her by the hair and slams her on her back, the young girl crying out.

"You are becoming annoying." Illumi lifts up his foot, ready to smash her face in. Killua runs back into the fight, grabbing that leg and lifting it, throwing the larger man off balance. The boy is able to get a couple of anger driven punches, feeling satisfied when he sees Illumi's blood leave his busted lip. Killua turns his nails as sharp as he can, ready to drive his hand through his brother's chest when he sees an opening-

Illumi moves quickly behind him. Killua's eyes widen, his ears flattening in dread. He yells when Illumi's arm goes through his shoulder, breaking his collar bone. The boy rolls a couple of feet, his blood getting all over the floor. The agony gets him to grit his teeth and his tail to puff up.

"Big brother!" Alluka cries out in concern. Killua's eyes widen when he sees Illumi's nails get longer.

"Sis stay back!" Killua hisses, sending her a firm look so she listens. Killua stands up, his glare turning dark as he stares his older brother down.

"You can't move your right arm and your left one was already broke." Illumi tits his head. "Do you see now? There's no chance of winning. Just forget about the human and go back to your room."

"No." Killua takes a deep breath, well aware that both his arms are just kind of hanging. He doesn't have his arms anymore. He can still kick. He can still run. He can still fight. He's not going to just go back to his room with his tail between his legs. He's not going to stay in that fucking room and watch them take Gon from him time and time again...he's not going to let them hurt Gon anymore.

"I've taught you better than this." Illumi says, moving towards him. Killua's pupils get bigger and he's able to anticipate where he's going to strike. He jumps up and kicks him in the chest, sending the larger man back...just in time for Alluka to cut him good in the back. Alluka runs over to stay next to Killua, the older brother feeling more comfortable with her close.

Though Illumi's expression hasn't changed, those black eyes have gotten darker. It's the closest thing Killua has seen to anger in his older brother's eyes.

"Big brother, your arms." Alluka's ears flatten, those blue eyes are trembling. She must be seeing how grave their chances are looking.

"I'm done playing these games. This human is making you go against all my teachings. I reject my mission." Illumi says suddenly. Those black eyes become deeper before the skin around his eyes turn darker. In a blink of an eye he's in front of the two. Killua's eyes widen at the burst of power, and without his arms all he can hope to do is jump away from his attack-

Illumi grabs both Killua and Alluka by their faces before throwing them in separate directions...opening up his path to Gon. Killua hits the wall hard on his back, closing one eye and grinding his teeth- His eyes widen when he sees Illumi running towards Gon's limp body. He feels his heart in his throat, his face paling.

"No Gon!" Killua screams, shunting all his blood to his legs and pushing off. He knows he's not going to make it.

"Gon!" Alluka cries out, realizing the same thing her brother has. She runs to catch up but they can't. It's like everything is in slow motion and no mater how fast he wishes he was, Illumi is ahead of him.

Killua screams, something high pitched, not human. He feels his left arm snap back together, knowing he just used a lot of his energy on his arm but he needs to be able to rip his brother apart-

"Please." Killua finds this word leaving his lips when those sharp claws are inches from Gon's face, so unaware about his impending death.

He wants to see those lips smiling at him again. He doesn't want to smell his blood.

Killua's breath gets caught in his throat when illumi's hand is stopped. Being caught right before those sharp nails could go through Gon's eyes.

"Now, now Illumi. Don't go breaking my toys." Hisoka purrs, tightening his grip on Illumi's hand. He throws him back, Illumi doing a flip in the air, landing gracefully. "I'm sure you've smelled my mark on him. You should know better. What happened to playing by the human's rules?" Hisoka hums, poking his hip out. "If is it that you're jealous of Gon because of my interest in him?~"

"Don't be ridiculous." Illumi states, watching as Killua and Alluka move to Gon's unconscious form. "I will not protect the human when he's infected Kil's mind. You can do what you wish, I know your tastes. But if you stand in my way Hisoka..." Illumi's ears go back in warning, the veins in his face turning black. "I will kill you."

"Mmm This is going to be cutting it close." Hisoka smirks before looking back at Killua who is staring at him with suspicion, this ears back. He can't forgive him for hurting Gon and marking him. The only thing that's restraining him from attacking is the fact that Hisoka saved Gon. "Why don't you get him out of here. Can you do that much for your mate?" Hisoka smirks when he sees the flash of anger in Killua's eyes. "Careful. I'll steal Gon away from you if you can't protect him~"

Killua grabs Gon's limp body and throws him over his shoulder. He wishes he could hold him better but with his other arm not usable, this will have to do. Killua looks over at Illumi before looking at Hisoka who gets in front of them, putting his hands on his hips, his tail flicking. It's almost protective but this is Hisoka. The strange man doesn't do anything unless it benefits him in some way.

"Go on." Hisoka's voice is like honey, those yellow eyes getting duller and serious when Illumi's face becomes completely black, his teeth so long. The blood lust can make anyone cringe. "Get the little one out of the lab yes? He's not too safe here at the moment. I'm the only one who can destroy that light."

Hisoka is going to fight Illumi for them. He's going to hold him back. Killua tightens his hold on Gon, a part of him confused and another part of him angry. Hisoka isn't trying to protect Killua or Alluka. He's trying to save Gon. Because he looks at Gon as a mate interest. Even though Killua has marked him, Hisoka is still trying to get him.

Killua swallows down this feeling in his chest and he nods his head. He gives his sister a look and she nods. They both turn and run out of the room. He can hear loud noises coming from the room behind him and he's sure they're fighting a very deadly match. Killua knows Hisoka is strong but Illumi is...well he's not sure who would win. Killua doesn't want to wait around to find out.

They run as fast as they can down the hallway, Killua's ears twitching this way and that to try to pick up any sounds that would alert them to the humans...only when his nose picks up something it's too late. He skids to a stop, Alluka doing the same next to him. There's many humans blocking their way out, loaded with weapons pointed at them. Killua takes a step back, clicking his tongue. He turns on his heel only for more humans to block them from behind. Killua grinds his teeth.

They were expecting them. Illumi gave them enough time to block all the exits. In Killua's condition he's not able to fight without risking Alluka and Gon getting injured by bullets. Killua wants to scream. He gives them this look, full of hate, full of rage. He wants to kill every single one of them. These bastards are the reason Gon is like this now. They've hurt his mate. They lied to Killua.

Killua takes deep breaths, his eyes trembling when that man walks out of the crowd. His green eyes twinkle at him. "You lied to me!" Killua roars. "You said he's be okay. You said you wouldn't do anything-"

"When did you start trusting others?" The man tilts his head. "I got too curious. I couldn't help myself."

Killua started trusting others when he met Gon. Those amber eyes melt away all his anxiety and suspicion. He knew that Gon would never hurt him. He knew that Gon's smiles and touches were sincere. Killua never trusted this scientist but if he wasn't going to lose his mind...Killua blinded himself.

"I hate you! I hate all of you!" Killua screams, feeling helpless and small once again.

"Big brother..." Alluka has tears in her eyes when she sees how Killua's face gets red from how upset he is. She moves closer to hug him, burying her face in Gon's limp body that's on his shoulder.

"Lets make this easier. Just hand over Gon. He's very important to the government. Aren't you excited? This is very good...with this kind of power, if all goes well, we could win any war!" The man beams, holding out his arms as if Killua would just put Gon in them.

"You're not touching him with your filthy hands anymore!" Killua growls, his breathing coming out too fast and he feels like he's close to breaking down but he can't. He needs to keep his head if he's going to protect his family.

"Hmm...Well you see if you don't hand him over, I'm just going to have to kill you." The man says. "You're replaceable Killua, but Gon is not. We'll need his blood to make more of project X. Gon can take your place. All my research on your family has lead up to project X, don't you see? You and your family are obsolete now. So I think I'll start by killing you and Alluka first. I'll kill every last one of you. I've gotten what I've needed. Why train a few warriors that could turn on us at any minute when I could make a whole army of mutant humans? Why waste time instilling morals when I could have a creature that already has them?"

"You...!" Killua's ears go back when all the guns lock onto him and his sister.

"You were always saying you'd rather be dead then be here so...here you go!" The man says cheerfully. "Once I get rid of you Killua, I won't have to worry about losing control of Gon either~"

"You sick fuck! I'm not going to let you use Gon! I'm not going to let you hurt Alluka. You're not getting away with any of this! As if you can just kill me!" Killua growls, his eyes turning black. The last of his strength he'll use...He'll kill everyone here. He'll save Gon and his sister. Even if he dies here, his sister will be able to carry Gon and get the hell out-

Everyone's eyes widen when there's an explosion off to the side. Killua's ears perk up when humans behind him start to scream. He turns around at the smell of blood. There's nothing but a pool of blood behind him now. All the humans have been splatted against the wall. There, standing in all the guts and blood, is someone that Killua had never expected to see.

"I'm here for Gon, Killua, and Alluka." Meruem states bluntly, those red eyes boring into the remaining humans who are trembling, pointing their guns at this monster. His tail is flicking impatiently. In his arms is the blind girl. She is holding onto Meruem tightly, her eyebrows furrowed.

"I-Is Gon okay?" She asks meekly.

"Komugi!" Alluka cries, her eyes getting watery. "You're alive!"

"Alluka!" Komugi smiles at the voice. Alluka runs up to them, Killua feeling anxious with Meruem's tail moving around. Komugi wiggles her way out of his hold and she hugs Alluka when she gets to her. "I-I was worried about you."

Meruem regards Komugi's smiling face before he looks at Killua who is staring at the scene with disbelief. Even all the humans seem at a lost for words. "You. Get behind me." Meruem commands. Instead of fighting the insanely strong being, Killua carries Gon so he's standing behind Meruem. "We are taking these three to safety. It's what my queen wants."

"A-Ah." Komgui flushes, Alluka and her moving behind Meruem as well. Alluka looks at her excitedly and nuzzles her, Komugi flushing more.

"Queen?" Killua can't help to question along with that scientist. Killua can't believe it. Komugi was able to catch the eye of the monster? Not only that but are they really about to be saved because of the blind girl? Killua thought her to be insufficient...just a human Gon had known and that Alluka liked.

He could have never known that the girl that can't even see would be the one to save the day.

Killua's eyes widen when Pitou and Pouf catch up, standing next to the king. Meruem chuckles darkly, those red eyes looking at all the humans who look like they're about to piss themselves.

"Pitou, Pouf, have your fill of these humans. That's a command." He turns, picking Komugi up, getting her to squeak. He glances at Killua. "Follow me. We're leaving."

"Yes my king." They both say at the same time, their expressions turning sinister. They don't have to worry about the king. Yupi is watching over him off to the side. Far enough that Meruem won't get angry but close enough that he can step in.

Killua finds a dark smirk turning his lips once he realizes that Meruem really is protecting them. All those humans are going to die.

"Well...fuck me." Killua hears that one human say. Meruem tells Komugi to cover her ears and she does so. Killua's ears are up and alert. He strokes Gon's thigh, feeling his heart that felt like it was going to come out of his chest slow down.

The sounds of their screams are music to Killua's ears and only when all of them are silenced can Killua finally be soothed.

* * *

 **Another chapter out! I have a question for you guys out there, If Hisoka and Illumi where in a real fight, who do you think would win? This won't affect the story. I'm just curious.**

 **Also, everyone is entitled to their opinion. I'm just saying that just because you tell me to do something, doesn't mean i'm going to do it. I don't much like being demanded to do something.**

 **But thank you everyone for your reviews. I can really feel your support for this story and it makes it all the more fun to write.**

 **So till next time.**


	18. Chapter 18

"Sir, Kite is here to see you." The solider regards the man that is sleeping on his desk. The man snorts and lifts his head up, groaning, half his face red from being pressed against the wood for so long.

"Whatever." The man grunts. The soldier's expression doesn't change but there's a slight twitch of his eyebrow. He opens up the doors, saluting to Kite before leaving the room.

"You were sleeping again." Kite crosses his arms, his long white hair brushing against his hip as he takes another step towards the man who's rubbing his eyes.

"Yeah well I'm bored." The man complains, scratching at the stubble on his chin. He knocks the papers on his desk off carelessly.

"You're the only one who I know that could be bored in this line of work." Kite shakes his head. "Well it's good you're bored. You'll be more likely to do something about this issue that has arise."

"We always have issues. What happen this time?" The man grabs the small mirror on his desk, looking at the bags under his eyes, frowning slightly at the stumble on his cheeks and chin. "Damn I need to shave."

"It's lab 5. Their ant project has escaped and the whole lab is in distress. A couple of other projects have escaped as well."

"Seriously? Can that guy do nothing right? Whatever his name is...I forgot. It can't be helped. I knew something like this would probably happen. It's not ready yet, but I guess we could get project X to deal with the problem. I'll take the serum then." The man yawns, standing up from his seat and stretching. "Project X is in that lab isn't it? Looks like I'll be making a day trip."

"That's another problem." Kite watches as the man finally looks him in the eye, those amber eyes locking with his gray orbs. "The chief has used the Project X serum without authorization on a man named Gon Freeces." Kite watches for any change in this man but his expression doesn't change. Not a bit. "Your son, Ging."

"Then I guess he can deal with the issue." Ging shrugs his shoulders. "I do hope that the chief gets ripped apart by his experiments though. I didn't say he could use it yet."

"Is that all you're angry about?" Kite raises his eyebrow. "...We are not even sure that your son survived the change. The last we saw Project X, it was very unstable and the success rate in a live human was less than 20%"

"He's alive." Ging waves Kite off, sticking his pinky finger in his ear to clean out the wax that has build up.

"Ging, I don't think you get the gravity of this situation. How can you be so sure he's alive? And if he's alive, is he even strong enough to deal with the ants? The human race is in danger." Kite says firmly.

"I get it's bad and all but it's fine. He's alive and he'll deal with our problem. If you don't believe me, why don't you go to lab 5 and see for yourself. If you get there, and find that project X isn't able to defeat the ants, then we'll go with plan b."

"...Project X is our only hope of not killing innocent people." Kite's eyes lower. "How are we even sure an Atom bomb will kill the ants?"

"If the bomb doesn't, the poison will. The bomb is our last resort. As of now, quarantine the area. Take your men and scout out the place. I'm counting on you Kite." Ging leaves his paper work. He walks away towards his room.

"I will do that but what are you going to do? You have that look in your eye like you're going to leave again." Kite narrows his eyes when Ging grins back at him.

"It's annoying but I'm stuck here for now. I've been here for way too long. I'll be keeping contact with you so report to me with any new information you learn."

"Why don't you come with me to lab 5?" Kite watches Ging scratch his cheek. He raises his eyebrow. "Are you worried about seeing your son?"

"Nah." Ging waves him off but he's gotten more squirmy.

"Or is it that you're afraid he may be dead?" Kite asks bluntly. He blinks when Ging starts to laugh. He turns around, those amber eyes burning with a fire that gets the stoic man to swallow. His grin is too blinding.

"Kite, He's my son." He smirks. "Nothing could kill him so easily." Those amber eyes burn with such conviction that Kite almost believes in his words. That just because he's Ging's son that he'll somehow beat all the odds against him. Ging believes that at least. The cocky bastard...

Kite feels his lips twitch up into a smile.

"I suppose if he is your son, nothing truly could. Your resistance is that of a cockroach."

Ging snorts, his lips turning in amusement. Those amber eyes lock with Kite's for a moment longer before he turns and walks into his room. He stops and looks back lazily. "Come back alive would ya? Who would get me my coffee?"

"Ha, funny." Kite's face is stone which only gets Ging to grin. "I'm glad you can still treat this like a joke. Sometimes I forget you're a 40 year old man who's intrusted with all the government secrets."

"Sometimes I forget too. I feel 20." Ging hums. Ging grins back at him and Kite feels his stone expression loosen and he chuckles.

"You're insane."

"Comes with the job."

"You were insane before this." Kite turns and starts to walk. "Be on standby. I'll report any information I find. If I think it's too dangerous, I will suggest to drop the bomb."

"Got it." Ging grunts, sounding bored again. Kite runs a hang through his long white hair. Once he's away from Ging and his cocky attitude, Kite starts to feel his own doubts.

Ging had waved off the idea of Gon being dead but it's more likely than him being alive. Resilient or not, Project X was made to destroy. The change is worse than any chemotherapy. The serum is like acid that breaks down and mutilates cells, it even changes the way the brain breaks down glucose, changing the brain itself completely.

Even if Gon is alive, it will no longer be 'Gon'. Ging was willing to become a slave when the time came so he knows what Project X would have done to him. So he should know what it's done to his son.

Kite won't question why Ging didn't come with him. Either it's because of the fear of his son's death or maybe it's the fear of his son being alive and what that means.

His son has become the face of their sin. Kite will face it alone, he'll do that for his Superior.

* * *

"He's not waking up." Killua touches Gon's cheek gently, he doesn't stir at all. It's been a couple of days since the ants broke out and have taken over the lab. Killua was able to carry Gon to one of the nicer rooms with such a soft bed. Killua is sure that all the humans in this lab have been wiped out and the ants are thinking about what they should do with all the other experiments.

This room that they're in is guarded by one of the king's servants. The cat like ant named Pitou is standing near Komugi who is currently asleep with Alluka curled up next to her. Killua doesn't like the way that ant has been looking at Gon.

"He might not wake up." She speaks, her tail flicking. "But I find it interesting that his ears and tails have left him. He looks human again but he doesn't smell human."

Killua is well aware of that. Yesterday he had close to a mental break down seeing Gon so lifeless. He remembers kissing him and licking him, pleading on deaf ears for Gon to wake up and look at him like he use to. Killua kept apologizing and screaming, wishing he could have gone back and stopped this from happening to him. He kept saying he wanted it to go back to the way he was when he was human. Because when Gon was human, he always woke up and he always smiled.

That's when Gon's body had changed back to being human. The ears and tail left him and his teeth went back to normal...but Gon's smell didn't change. Killua knows he didn't go back to being human. He just changed his appearance. Which is very impressive. It shows just how strong Gon is now.

He smells dangerous but there's still Gon in his scent. He's still there.

Killua moves so he's laying on top of Gon, shielding his body from Pitou's staring. He stares at Gon's peaceful expression, those blue eyes soaking in every detail of his face as if he's seeing it for the first time. He leans in and licks at Gon's jaw line before nuzzling him. With his hand that is more useable from his shunted blood and healing, he touches Gon's hair, running his fingers through it.

The ants are planning on killing Gon. Killua knows it. He can sense it in the way they look at Gon that they see him as a threat, at least the king's servants do. Even though Komugi is Meruem's mate, Killua doesn't know if that would stop him from killing Gon.

Killua is no match for the ants. He doesn't even stand an ounce of a chance, especially in this state so if they decided to kill Gon, Killua will fight and die by his side. Alluka will be taken care of well by the ants because Komugi adores her. He's sure the ants will kill off humanity, the humans have made a fatal mistake making them.

"All the humans that were left are now locked up for a later meal." Meruem walks into the room, his red eyes locking on Komugi's sleeping form for a moment before he looks at Pitou who bows towards him. Killua tenses when he feels those intense eyes on him next. "Has he woken up?"

"Not yet." Pitou answers for him. "He's barely moved."

"I see." Meruem crosses his arms, his tail waving around. He looks at Komugi once more before taking a step forward. "I will tell you this since Komugi is asleep but I've already decided that if he wakes up and attacks you again, I will kill him."

Killua swallows, his fear being confirmed. "He won't attack me." Killua says firmly, as firmly as he can.

"He was the one who broke your arm wasn't he?" Meruem watches as Killua strokes Gon's cheek, not responding. "Would he have broken your arm before project X?"

"...No, he would never have done that." Killua grinds his teeth, knowing where Meruem is getting at and he doesn't like it.

"If he attacks you again, his mate, I will only assume that he is completely project X and kill him-"

"Gon attacked me but he came to! He might be confused when he wakes up!" Killua tries, feeling his heart beat faster in panic.

"If his slip up broke your arm and almost killed you, his mate, then I'm sure he can slip up again and kill you or others. I won't allow another slip up. I do not know everything about Project X but I do know it gets stronger with every fight. It adapts. He is not human-"

"He's still Gon!" Killua raises his voice. He turns his head, giving this king the most threatening look he can, his ears going back and he hisses. "He's still Gon! I felt him! I know! You don't know anything about him, you-"

"He's not human." Meruem responds calmly, not at all fazed.

"You don't!-" Killua shouts, choking on a nervous spasm in his throat.

"If you keep speaking to the king like that I'll kill you and feed him your brain." Pitou's pupils get bigger and she takes a step closer. Meruem hits her over the head with his tail, her head rolling to the side.

"Did I say for you to do that?" He growls.

"N-No." Her ears flatten and she bows her head.

"Komugi likes this creature and Gon so we will not kill them until I say it's necessary." Meruem says glancing over at Killua who has gone back to licking Gon's face, whispering something under his breath. Meruem looks over at Alluka who is curled up against Komugi, purring softly. He narrows his eyes.

Gon makes a sound. Everyone's eyes snapping to look over at him. Killua's ears perk up and he grabs Gon's face looking at his expression, searching for signs of waking up. His heart skips a beat when Gon's eyebrows furrow and soon those eyes flutter open.

His amber eyes lock onto his wide blue. They're dark and out of focused, specks of gold growing as those amber eyes take in Killua. There's no sign of recognition.

"Gon..." Killua leans in and kisses him. His heart is beating so fast. If Gon attacks him, they'll have a problem. He'll be in danger. He licks at his lips, trying to kiss him as softly and lovingly as he can. Gon's amber eyes stay open, they keep staring at him as Killua kisses him, those lips still. The gold in his eyes increases, his pupils getting bigger.

"Gon..." Killua keeps trying, coaxing his mouth open so he can caress Gon's tongue. The man underneath him makes a sound that could be a hum or a moan. It sets Killua's skin on fire but those eyes are still not how they should be. They're more gold than amber and now they're getting specks of black. Killua yelps when Gon grabs his ass roughly to the point Killua is sure he will bruise.

"It's me..." Killua strokes Gon's cheek, taking a shuttering breath when Gon keeps groping him. There's a difference between turning Gon on and turning on...this being. Killua's not sure it's him or if it's because of his provoking that's gotten Gon like this. "Gon..." Killua's moan is swallowed up when he kisses him roughly, biting his lip and licking up the blood.

This isn't the Gon Killua knows. He's not the gentle Gon that asks if he's okay every five minutes or the Gon that will hold him and say how much he loves him. No, this is a different being. Killua knows that and it stings more than his bleeding lip.

"Gon..." Killua tries again, hating how weak his voice sounds. He pulls away, looking Gon in the eyes. Gon's eyebrows furrow and he closes his eyes for a moment. Killua's ears that had gone back perk up when Gon mumbles his name and his grip on his ass loosens. "Gon?" Killua says hopefully, his tail brushing against Gon's thigh.

"Mm. Killua." Gon sighs, his hand moving up to rest on his lower back and his other hand going through the hairs on the back of his head. Killua's eyes widen, his heart beating faster at how gentle Gon holds him now and how he nuzzles his head. Killua lets out a long, fluttery breath he didn't know he was holding.

"It's you." Killua listens to Gon's heart beat but with how loud his own heart is beating he can't be sure if he's listening to Gon or his own. "Don't scare me like that, idiot." Killua scolds but it's barely a whisper. He grips onto Gon and purrs, loving Gon's fingers through his hair. He blinks away the tears that want to fall.

"How did I scare you?" Gon seems to wake up more and he grabs Killua's face, getting him to look up. Those amber eyes aren't the same as before. Killua sees Gon, he sees his amber but with the amber are the gold and black specks. As if they're waiting at any moment to make the beautiful amber go away. Gon's eyes widen, he touches Killua's lip softly, frowning deeply. "Killua what happened to your lip and...Killua your arm!" Gon gasps, sitting up with Killua in his lap, his eyes wide with horror when he takes in his one arm that is bruised all to hell."Who did this to you?" Gon's amber eyes start to get darker, the black specks becoming more-

"It was just some bastard. It doesn't matter anymore, Gon. They're dead. The humans are dead or going to die. You're free, Gon. You're free." Killua smiles the best he can. If Gon doesn't remember hurting him, he wants to keep it that way. That wasn't Gon. Killua doesn't blame Gon for it. Not one bit.

"They're dead?" The black in his eyes backs off a little and Gon tilts his head, seeming confused. His eyes widen when he finally takes note of Meruem and Pitou who are both regarding him curiously. "Who are you guys? Wait, what did I miss? Where am I?- Komugi!" Gon's eyes widen when he spots his friend still sleeping with Alluka, his eyes brighten so much that Killua feels his chest tighten. That's right. He wants to see that light. "I knew you were alive!"

"Yeah she's alive." Killua's tail waves around and he hasn't stopped purring. He doesn't care. That light is back. Gon is back. " I don't know how she did it, but it turns out she got the ant King's attention." Killua nods his head over to Meruem, Gon regarding him with wonder. "He's the reason why we're here so basically Komugi saved us."

"Komugi spoke a lot about you." Meruem takes a step closer. "She is my queen. Over step with her and I will end you."

"Oh no, Komugi is just my dear friend!" Gon waves his arms quickly. He smiles. "Thank you for saving my family but um...this is kind of weird. It almost feels like a dream." Gon scratches his cheek. He grabs Killua's hand and strokes it with his thumb, his eyebrows furrowing. "...I feel strange. Like I'm missing something. I..." Gon frowns.

"You were out for awhile." Killua says quickly when Meruem looked like he was about to say something. He rubs his head against Gon's shoulder, kissing his hot flesh, trying to comfort him. "Everything is fine now. All the scientists that hurt you are dead. Komugi is alive. We're all okay."

Gon nods his head slowly and he smiles. "I'm glad. I won't...I won't let you get hurt like this again Killua." Gon cups his cheeks, Killua's blue eyes lighten when Gon looks into them. "I was worried..."

"There was no reason to be worried about me idiot. I'm use to it. You're the one who was worrying me." Killua says but he knows his eyes are showing how that concern Gon has for him has affected him.

Killua moans when Gon kisses him, completely melting and coming undone by the simple gesture. Killua won't let this happen again. This month was hell. Deep down Killua knows it's not over but right now Gon is here and...Gon is _here._

"I'm sorry." Gon pulls away, giving him a small smile, looking slightly guilty. He's gorgeous. His gorgeous Gon. Killua leans in and bites his face, Gon wincing and pulling away.

"Told you what would happen if you make that face."

"Yeah." Gon chuckles, those amber eyes getting light just for him and he loves it-

"Gon!" Gon blinks, looking over just to be tackled by Alluka. She hugs him tightly. "You're awake! I was so scared...and big brother was..." She swallows. "You're okay Gon?" She pulls away, those blue eyes looking deep into Gon's.

"Yes. I'm fine. I'm sorry about worrying you too Alluka. Are you okay?" Gon tucks a strand of dark hair behind her ear. "I won't let this happen again. I won't break my promise."

"You can break any promise but the one where you said you'd always stay with us." Alluka says firmly, nuzzling her head against Gon's. "I'm fine...I missed you Gon. You and big brother so much."

"I missed you too. I missed you both." Gon hugs her. He lets her go so she can cling to her Killua who hugs her tightly.

"Are we going to be okay now?" Alluka says to her brother. Killua nods his head, and offers a smile.

"...Why are you smiling like that Killua?" Gon questions, Killua tensing. He was seen through. "Are you worried?" Gon reaches over and scratches behind Killua's ear, his mate comforting him. "We're still in a bad situation aren't we? But don't worry. We'll think of something. The government will probably still look for us won't they? We might have to leave the country...it's the only way to keep you two safe."

Killua bites his tongue. Hard. Gon is still just thinking about them. Thinking about their safety. The fact that Gon just said they need to leave the country tells Killua that he understands he has to leave everything behind. His schooling, his friends, his apartment...even Mito.

Killua wants to tell him that they can stay. Now that the humans in this fucked up lab are dead, they can go back to how it was...but he knows it's a lie. Even if the government wasn't looking for them, now that the ants are out...everything is going to change.

Killua's lips go in a tight line. Say something. Anything. Words of comfort, words of gratitude. _Anything_. But he can't speak. All he can do is let Gon play with his hair, and touch him so gently. Killua is like a leach, sucking, and sucking till he takes everything from Gon. There's not much left. He took his dream. He took his way of life. He took his humanity. Killua still wants more.

He doesn't deserve Gon. He's the light in his life and sometimes he's blinding but he wants to stay by his side. Killua is selfish. Gon is everything he has and soon, Killua will be all that Gon has as well.

"Can we live in England?" Alluka cuts Killua out of his thoughts. She smiles at Gon, those eyes looking excited. "I've read a lot of books about England! I want to live there! Can we?"

"Hmm, we can go anywhere. I don't have problems with England." Gon smiles softly but it doesn't reach his eyes. Killua's ears flatten.

"I heard that England has...tea. You like Tea." Killua tries. Gon's smile grows slightly.

"That it does."

"And they have those red buses! I want to ride in one!" Alluka bounces.

"That's the real reason you want to live there isn't it?" Killua gives his sister a look that she just beams at.

"Komugi! Do you want to live in England with us?" Alluka rushes over to Komugi who has just sat up, rubbing her eyes of sleepies.

"H-Huh?" Her eyebrows furrow. Alluka hugs her tightly and she smiles, patting her on the back. "W-What is this now?"

"We're going to live in England! You have to come! We're family! And you can bring Meruem!" Alluka looks so excited.

"She is staying here with me." Meruem says bluntly, walking over to the two. Alluka's ears flatten but she lets him pick Komugi up. He holds her in his arms. He regards the conflicted look on Komugi's face before looking over at Alluka. "There is no reason for you three to retreat. You can stay with Komugi in my kingdom. You are welcomed. The humans will have no more power."

"What do you mean?" Gon asks, seeming to calm down when he sees how gently he handles Komugi.

"The human race will all bow to me. I am the king. The only king. This place will be a safe place."

Komugi flushes from being held by the king but she curls into him and rubs her head against his chest, feeling the strange flesh.

"The humans won't go down without a fight." Killua is a realist. He knows that what the humans did to Gon could be bad. Meruem and the others seem to take him as a threat.

"They can not win." The king says simply. He looks down at Komugi when she started to stroke his neck and chest, feeling, painting a picture in her mind. "I enjoy that." Komugi flushes and stops. "I did not say stop." She starts back up even though a bit embarrassed. Meruem glances at Gon before he hands Komugi over to Pitou. "Take her to my chambers. I will be back with you soon." Meruem glances at Alluka. "You go with her to keep her company."

"Kay!" Alluka smiles.

"O-Oh okay but...is G-Gon okay?" Komugi asks.

"I'm fine Komugi. I'm glad you're okay." Gon smiles at Komugi.

"I-I'm glad." Komugi smiles, Pitou gives a glance at Gon before she carries Komugi out of the room. Alluka following after them, chatting with Komugi.

"As I said, I want Komugi to be safe." Meruem says slowly, staring at Gon intensely. "And she is not safe with you around."

"Huh?" Gon blinks.

"He's fine." Killua tries not to snap when he sees that his tail is starting to move around. If that tail hits them, it will kill them instantly.

"I would never hurt Komugi." Gon frowns at the way this creature is looking at him.

"But you hurt your mate-"

"Stop." Killua cuts him off, getting a sharp glare from Meruem.

"What? What do you mean I hurt Killua?" Gon frowns deeply, noticing how those blue eyes tremble. Killua has gotten pale. "Killua what is he talking about?"

"Nothing-"

"You attacked him-" Meruem continues even when Killua sends him a deep glare.

"I-I did?" Gon's amber orbs shake, gold specks starting to accumulate near his iris. Gon looks at Killua, looking for answers.

"He's lying, Gon. You didn't do anything-" Killua cups Gon's cheeks, giving him a firm look. He doesn't like the gold. He doesn't like to see him frowning, or looking so upset. Gon didn't do anything. That's the truth. It was all what those humans did to him.

"You broke his arm and have damaged his lip recently. The humans have turned you into-"

"Don't listen to him!" Killua shouts when Gon's pupils dilate.

"Killua I-I'm the one who's done this to you? Don't l-lie to me...Killua did I hurt you?" Gon grabs Killua by the shoulders, looking deep into his eyes. The specks of gold have increased and his pupils are shaking. Gon is staring at him too intensely, those amber eyes are too concerned.

Killua swallows "Y-You didn't hurt me-" He curses inwardly when he stutters. Lying is something he's good at...Why does he have to suck at it when he needs to be at his best?

"Killua, the truth." Gon pleads. Killua bites his lip, his ears flattening.

"It is the truth idiot!" Killua shouts, closing his eyes when he feels that those amber eyes are going to steal the truth right from him. "I told you it was some human-"

"I really did hurt you...didn't I?" Gon's voice shakes. Killua's eyes snap open and he feels something sink in him when he sees how distraught Gon looks. "You're lying... I know you are..." Gon's amber eyes dull, the gold taking over. "Ah...I remember. I did break your arm. I choked you as well." Gon says motor-toned before the amber comes back, tears welling up in his eyes as he grips his hair. "I-I did that to you! How could I do that? What was I thinking?-"

"Gon you have to calm down. It's fine, it wasn't you okay? It was nothing-" Killua tries to calm his mate down but his heart is beating too fast. He hates seeing those tears, and that horrified look on his face. Gon's hating himself right now. Killua knows that.

"It's not nothing, Killua!" Gon yells, specks of black starting to grow. "I tried to kill you and I forgot about it! My mind was...it was fuzzy and I just...I don't understand what happened but I hurt you Killua. That's never okay. I never want to hurt you-"

"I know that! I know you don't want to hurt me! You didn't mean it! It wasn't your fault!" Killua's tail swishes behind him, his throat feeling tight.

"Of course it was my fault! I'm suppose to be protecting you! Not hurting you! Why can't I..." The specks of black keep growing.

"You are becoming unstable." Meruem states. Killua sends him a dangerous look.

"It's because of you! Why the fuck did you have to say anything! He was fine!" Killua cries, his nails becoming longer. Meruem just regards him before looking over at Gon who is breathing heavily, holding his head in his hands.

"You may lose it again and hurt Killua. You might hurt Komugi or Alluka as well. They've turn you into project X, a monster of your kind-"

"Stop-" Killua knows he's no match for Meruem. It would be foolish trying to fight him but he can feel his anger bubbling. Saying these things to Gon will-

"Y-You're right." Gon's voice trembles. Killua's ears twitch before he looks over at Gon, they flatten. Gon is pale, those amber eyes dull again. "If I couldn't remember hurting Killua then...I could do it again. I could hurt anyone. I don't...I don't want that." The gold is coming back, those eyes are not human. They're dangerous. "What's...what's happening to me...Killua?"

"I..." Killua swallows when those strange eyes fall on him. The young boy bites his lip and grips his fist. He doesn't want to say this. He doesn't want to see that pained expression anymore. At this point Gon would see through a lie, all he has left is the truth. "They've been doing experiments on you Gon...Damn it...I should of... I..." He's tripping up. He can't form the right words. Gon's eyes have widen in shock and it hurts seeing those expressions in Gon's face.

"They've turned you into something that is not human." Meruem adds.

"A-Am I a monster?" Gon touches his face before looking around. Killua has the urge to stop him when he runs to the mirror in this room. He runs to stay close by him, Killua wincing and putting a hand over his heart when Gon had gasped. It hurts. The way Gon is looking at himself...the way he trembles. Though Killua feels like he's falling apart, he's there to catch Gon when he stumbles backwards. He's there to be his foundation. "I'm...I'm not human...I'm..."

"Gon, you're not a monster." Killua says firmly, as firmly as he can with a shaky voice. "You're still Gon. It doesn't matter if you're human or not, you-"

"Doesn't matter?" Gon's voice gets soft. "If I'm not human, then what's going to stop me? I feel it building inside of me, this urge, this need. You can see it in these messed up eyes of mine can't you?" Gon chuckles and it stings Killua inside.

"It doesn't matter Gon! I'll stay by your side no matter what. You can't get rid of me, I told you that. You're still Gon." Killua shakes Gon. His ears flatten when Gon just bows his head. The young boy is starting to feel desperate. "Gon look at me. Gon you have to look at me-" He commands.

" **No!"** Killua's eyes widen when Gon pushes him away roughly. Killua flies through the air and hits the wall hard with a thud. Gon glares at him with black eyes...only for those eyes to turn back amber when he heard the surprised gasp of pain from Killua. Gon's eyes shake with panic. "N-No. Killua I'm sorry!" Those tears that Killua hates pour down Gon's face and his hands tremble. "I don't w-want to hurt you..." Gon takes steps back.

"It would be best if I kill you" Meruem gets Gon's attention. Gon swallows.

"I...I wanted to protect everyone but in this state, I can't do that. I...I feel awful. I'll keep hurting them and I don't want that so...It would be best if I die. Killua you can live here with Komugi and be safe." Gon turns and gives him this smile.

Killua _snaps._

"Are you fucking kidding me?!" Killua screams, Gon flinching from the dark tone. "' It would be best if I die'?! Who the hell would it be best for? I _need_ you! If you died, I would be destroyed! Don't you dare say something like that! I don't care that you're not human, I'm barely human myself! I don't care about your eyes because there's still _you_ in them! Are you really considering death because you hurt me?!" Killua grabs his own finger and snaps it. Gon's eyes widen in alarm.

"Killua stop!-"

"Do you think breaking my bones fazes _me?!_ " He breaks his wrist. Gon is on him,grabbing his arms and pinning them to his sides so he can't hurt himself anymore. Gon's amber has come back. That concern look is there, that panicked in his eyes. "It's nothing! The pain is nothing, it's what I've been trained to deal with! But I can't deal with losing you alright? so...so don't you fucking..." Killua's screaming trails off, his voice breaking at the end. His vision gets blurry from tears.

"I'm sorry." Gon hugs Killua tightly, the boy's eyes widening from that firm tone of voice. "I said something selfish. Please don't cry anymore Killua. Don't hurt yourself. I'm not going to leave you...I'm ...I'm not fully myself but what's left of me, is all yours. Everything is yours."

His tears fall freely as he wraps his arms around Gon's neck, breathing in his scent. He closes his eyes tightly, almost mewing from feeling Gon's fingers going through his hair. The panic seizing up inside him starts to calm once he heard Gon was staying with him. His face is flushed from screaming so much...all those words just came out. He couldn't control his anger.

"I won't hurt you." Gon says more to himself as he tightens his grip.

"Gon, you would never." Killua licks his ear. Gon would never hurt him. Those actions against him were a different being that those scientists put inside him. His Gon is gentle, holding him so close right now, touching him so softly. This is his Gon.

"I can't risk it." Killua forgot that Meruem was still around. His words get his blue eyes to snap open, they turn black.

"I'm not losing my family. You won't kill him-" Killua hisses.

"My king!" Meruem looks over to the side when Pouf comes in, those yellow eyes wide. "A human is here from the government. He wants to speak with Gon."

"A human from the government?" Meruem seems to weigh his options. "Let him in."

"A human from the government?" Killua pulls away, only for Gon to hug him again. Killua doesn't mind the affection, no. He needs it right now. Gon rubs his broken wrist and fingers with care, Killua can feel Gon's frown on his shoulder.

"Do you think they'll want to try to take you and Alluka?" Gon pulls away, that frown still there.

"They're not taking shit." Killua growls, his tail flicking. "We're never going back to that. I'll fight for you Gon. I'll fight for my sister."

Gon stares at those blue eyes for a moment before he smiles. Killua wants to cry when he sees that determined flare. It's back. "I'll fight for my family as well." The black specks grow but they compliment the amber, instead of take it over. "I know I'm stronger...I can feel it. I'll use this power to make sure you two are safe."

"I wouldn't use it unless you need to."

Everyone looks towards the door. A human stands there with long hair down to his hips, those green eyes staring right at Gon. Killua's ears go back and he gets in front of Gon protectively, baring his teeth. Meruem just studies him, he doesn't say anything. Pouf stands right behind the human, his arms crossed.

"Who are you?" Gon asks, wrapping his arms around Killua, bringing him close so his back is pressed against his chest. Killua tries to hold back his purr but it feels so good to be held by him.

"You really are Ging's son..." This man trails off absentmindedly. Gon's eyes light up, those golden specks growing.

"You know my father?-" Gon started off excited only to stop. He frowns to himself. "...Is Ging involved in this? Who are you?"

"My name is Kite. I'm an acquaintance of your father and yes, he is very much involved with all of this. He runs our medical team and he is one of the founders of project X." The man named Kite states. He walks forward, quite boldly considering all the much more powerful non human creatures in this room.

"Ging made Project x?...The thing I am now?" Gon can't wrap his head around this. All his life he's been wanting to meet his father. He's been trying to follow in his foot steps by being a doctor. He wanted to see what was so great and he believed that even though he's only a student, he saw why being a doctor was so good.

But if Ging is in the medical unit for the government...and he's involved with all these experiments...what exactly has Gon been looking up to? And why is he still so interested? This thing that Gon is now...Ging made it so why is he more...comfortable with that?

"Yes. Ging always believed it would have been used on him first. It seems you beat him too it. I apologize Gon. This wasn't meant for you. That Doctor acted against the government's orders. You should not have been dragged into this." Kite does a slight bow.

"Project X was made for Ging?" Gon blinks. After everything he's been through with the scientists, he wasn't expecting an apology.  
"What is the purpose of Protect X?" Meruem speaks up, those sharp eyes watching Kite closely. "Speak or I will kill you."

"I have no doubts you will. Protect X was made to make the perfect war weapon." Kite looks at those amber eyes that are staring at him with awe and confusion, he takes in the specks of gold and how he holds onto Killua gently. "From looking at you, I know it has failed."

"What do you mean?" Gon's eyebrows furrow. "I feel a lot different...and because of this project X, I hurt Killua." The boy in his arms gives him this look. Gon nuzzles his head, hugging him tighter because he needs his warmth. "I've become stronger too and...my eyes are strange."

"Do you feel guilty for hurting the boy?" Kite asks, pointing at Killua.

"Y-Yes of course I do." Gon frowns deeply-

"Who are you?"

Gon blinks. "...My name is Gon Freeces."

"What do you want?"

"...Um... I want to get my family out to safety." Gon says, confused by the sudden change in questions.

"That is why Project X is a failure." Kite watches as Gon tilts his head, Killua giving him a questioning look also. " Basically, with project X we were going to make the perfect warrior, perfect slave. 'Gon' shouldn't exist right now. You should respond by 'project X'. The fact that your consciousness is still around, means it's a failure. The fact your eyes look like that mean it's a failure. You should be a puppet that listens to commands. Did you think that you Attacked Killua just to attack him? You were given an order to do so."

"I was? I don't remember anything like that..." Gon soaks in everything Kite says. Killua has gotten tense in his arms and his ears are back. It's because he knows. It could have been much worse. Gon could have been completely lost in this transformation. He could be a hallow shell of himself if Project X worked like it should have. Gon tightens his grip on Killua and kisses the top of his head. "I'm here." Gon whispers against his ear. Because he is here. He's not project X. He's Gon Freeces.

Killua loosens in his hold, letting out a shaky breath before stabilizing.

"You were given an order" Pouf is the one to speak up. Gon's eyes widening when he really looks at him and the bright wings that have just spread. So pretty. "I read the documentation. Your order was to kill anything in sight. It said that you tried to kill Hisoka first before following him into Killua's chambers where you failed."

"You shouldn't have just hurt him. The order was to kill him. Why didn't you?" Kite watches Gon carefully...the gold specks have grown again.

"Because...my brain was fuzzy but I realized after seeing his pained expression that I didn't want power to...hurt him. I wanted power to protect him, after that everything got dark." The gold in his eyes recedes after he says this. "Killua was able to bring me back."

"You are a failure." Kite shakes his head. "Those eyes are a bit dangerous as well. The colors in your eyes are no coincidence. If you were truly project X, your eyes would be completely gold. When you would attack, they would turn black. Your eyes have both gold and black in them. The gold is for analyzing and learning. It's also your body's way of knowing a threat and then figuring out how to deal with it effectively. If you had completely gold eyes, you would be emotionless, the puppet that was intended. The black eyes is when you act. It pushes your body to kill or to do the order. It will also change your body." Kite moves his wrist, throwing something at Gon.

Gon hisses when that something cuts his arm. Killua's ears perk up, turning quickly to spot the damage but before Killua can go and attack Kite, Gon grabs him and hugs him against his chest.

The wound is already steaming and healing.

"Project X was made by taking stem cells, and mixing it with a cocktail of different DNA fragments from animals. Ging also made a 'chemical X' to add to it. He thought it was funny because it was a reference to some show he saw sometime...but back on topic. It also had microchips inside that were suppose to be the control center for the people pulling the strings. If what we did is right, you should be able to change forms to many different things. Your body heals like it should. Your body should react from what kind of situations you're in."

"...When you attacked me, you grew cat ears and you had sharp teeth of some kind of animal." Killua recalls, his ears twitching. "You were able to change back into this human form...just your eyes stayed the same."

"You can't change the eyes. They are a testament to what you are." Kite speaks up. "The fact that you can change your appearance means we were going in the right direction. We were worried that all the cells in the body would just explode from the exposure to project X."

"O-Oh." Gon's eyebrows furrow. It's nice to know he almost exploded and he could have been turned into a mindless puppet.

"Gon could have been killed you ass hole!" Killua snarls. "What is the meaning of all this? Did that guy not tell you that Gon was here? If that guy who worked on it is Gon's dad, why didn't he do anything?"

"We did not receive info till it was too late." Kite does another bow. "As I said before, I'm sorry for this."

"Tell me, if he was given an order now, would he listen?" Meruem asks, those sharp eyes lock onto Gon who is deep in thought.

"I can not be sure. It's possible but it seems he has the will power to bounce out of it."

"Why have you come?"The king asks. This gets everyone to look at Kite.

"I've come to take Gon with me. You are a threat and we need to watch you so we can learn how to improve Project X-"

"You're not taking Gon."Killua snarls. "No one is taking him away from me again."

"I can take you along with me. Do not misunderstand. I'm not here to cause you anymore harm. If Gon wishes for you to come, you can come. It would be best for Gon if we could also monitor him. There's much that needs to be explained, I have only scratched the surface."

"Like hell I can trust you." Killua's eyes narrow, his ears back.

"...If I came with you, would I be able to meet Ging?" Gon asks. Killua's stance changes, he looks back at Gon with wide eyes but when he sees that light in those amber orbs...Killua looks back at Kite for his answer.

"Yes, you would."

Gon swallows. "If I brought Killua and Alluka, would they be safe? No more experiments? No more pain?"

"If they are with you no. We will do nothing to them."

"Can I trust you?" Gon's eyes lock with Kite's. The gold increases along with the black. Those eyes both analyzing Kite and warning him.

"Yes." Kite doesn't back down. He keeps his eyes locked with Gon. It's like Gon can smell him and tell what his vital signs are doing. Kite is calm. He's not worried. After looking into those eyes, Gon feels himself relax.

"...We'll go with you."

"Oi are you sure about this?" Killua turns to face Gon. "I know you want to meet your dad but I think we should do our original plan-"

"Say you do run away and something happens to Gon because of project X. What if his organs start to shut down or he goes through a rebound? Do you know how to handle those situations?" Kite questions getting Killua to look at him. He frowns considering this before narrowing his eyes.

"So what, you want us to stay with you all? What are you going to do for him? What's in it for you?"

"Everything that we can. We can't fix you Gon, but we can help you by stabilizing you the best we can. There is also an issue with the orders. It seems you can still be effected by orders but these orders can be given by anyone. That is dangerous. Just to prove my point...Project X, kneel." Gon's eyes turn completely gold before black and he kneels. Amber comes back quickly though and he stands up, frowning. "You were able to snap out of it quickly but you did the action without question. That is why it's dangerous for you to be out. We need to fix these bugs."

"...I can see where this could be a problem." Killua keeps close to Gon when he sees how the man is frowning to himself. "But can you really fix it without hurting him?"

"We would try our best. I can't promise anything." Kite watches how Gon and Killua exchange a look.

"I give you permission to take Gon, snd Killua. If you can fix Gon, If he is stable, I won't kill him. My queen is fond of him. In order to ensure you're doing what you're suppose to do, I will send one of my servants with you." Meruem tail flicks when Kite locks eyes with him. "Pitou."

Soon enough Pitou is in the room, she has both Alluka and Komugi in her arms. Alluka gets out and runs to her brother, those blue eyes looking at him with concern when she notices the damage that wasn't there before. He gives her a look of reassurance before those blue eyes are back to watching this exchange carefully.

"Yes my king?" she does a slight bow, eying kite.

"You will go with this human. He's going to fix Gon. You are to watch over him and if anything suspicious is going on, kill them."

"Yes my king." Pitou agrees, those eyes locking on Kite, a playful tremor to her eyes that most would find terrifying.

"What's happening?" Alluka looks between Gon and Killua, her ears back.

"I have a lot to tell you sis but...We're going with this human. He's not going to hurt us. I won't let him. We need to do this for Gon." Killua holds her close, nuzzling his head against hers. "I'll explain it all later."

"Alluka is staying here." Meruem's firm voice gets Killua and Gon to look over at him. "She is my queen's companion."

"But I-I want to stay with Gon and big brother." Alluka frowns.

"Meruem i-i think-" Komugi starts.

"I think you should stay here Alluka." Killua speaks up, Gon and Alluka looking at him with surprise. "It's safe here." Those blue eyes flash over at Kite who is just staring at them, standing straight. "I don't' trust humans." Killua looks at Meruem who is just staring at them with those intense eyes. "But the king will keep you safe. Besides, you really like Komugi."

"B-But what if something happens? I want to be there with you." Alluka frowns, her ears flattening.

"I want you to be free Alluka. We'll come back for you." Killua kisses her on the forehead, hugging her tightly. "I need you to be brave for me Alluka...Stay here with Komugi and have fun with her. That will put my worries to rest."

"...If it h-helps big brother I will. I'll be brave." Alluka sniffles as she hugs Killua tighter. She pulls away, those blue eyes glossy.

"That's my sis. You're amazing." Killua smiles, licking her cheek affectionately.

"Are you sure Killua?" Gon frowns, seeming conflicted by these change of events.

"Yes." Killua locks eyes with him. Gon seeing his conviction so he nods. He smiles at Alluka and hugs her tightly.

"I'll take care of Killua. Don't you worry. While I'm gone, you should draw me a picture." Gon hums, patting her on the head. Alluka nods quickly.

"I will! I'll draw you a bunch! So you better come back okay so you can seem them!" Alluka pulls away to kiss Gon on the cheek, her tail waving around.

"We will." Gon chuckles at how those eyes light up. Alluka grabs Gon's hand and Killua's.

"I love you..." She says.

"I love you too." They both respond, with the same fondness. Her small hands part from theirs and she takes steps back to stand next to Komugi. Gon frowns when she hugs Komugi tightly. She's really upset about this. Gon would like to take her with them but he understands what Killua is thinking. She would be safer here. It would probably be safer for Killua too but Gon knows suggesting it would only make Killua angry. The young boy isn't leaving his side.

Gon glances over at Killua and frowns.

"Killua...You look really tired." Gon says when he takes in the bags under Killua's eyes and how his fur has lost that healthy shine. He grabs Killua's arm that has the broken wrist and kisses it gently. "I need to take care of this too..."

"It'll heal by itself. It's fine." Killua protests but those blue eyes are honing in on the amber that is still there, and that is still concerned for him.

"We should go. We have much ground to cover." Kite turns on his heel.

"W-What's happening?" Komugi frowns. The king walks up to her and warps his tail around her, pulling her closer.

"He is taking Gon to help him. Do not worry. Pitou will watch him." Meruem watches as those white eyes light up and she nods.

As Gon looks at Killua, looks at how worn out he is and how cautious...Something hits Gon hard and his eyes widen. "We missed Christmas!" Gon whines, thinking about all the bags of goods he had...no doubt someone probably stole them.

"You just realized?" Killua blinks at his outburst.

"Crap...we probably missed new years too! I wanted to kiss you for the new year." Gon pouts. Despite this, Killua's eyes light up from his mate's cute behavior and how...Gon it is.

"You can just kiss me now."

"It's not the same Killua!" Gon protests. "This is awful. This is the worse thing that's happened."

"Really? It's the worse?" Killua raises his eyebrow, an amused smile working its way on his lips. Alluka sees it and shes smiles in relief. She was getting worried for a moment there but it seems...because Gon is here, she has nothing to worry about when it comes to her brother. Killua will be okay with Gon, As long as Gon is with him "Not the fact you've been turned into some weird mutant or that you were kidnapped?"

"I could deal with it better if we had a least enjoyed Christmas! I was so excited to spend the holidays with my family..." Gon looks over at Kite who is staring at him strangely. The look reminds him of someone and Gon's eyes widen. "Crap! Kurapika and Leorio! I have to go see them! Before we go where ever, I need to see them." Gon can't imagine what his friends have been thinking. For Gon to just disappear...He wonders how they've been?

"...Seeing others would require an explanation." Kite states.

"Yes but...I could just say I found my dad or something! I just...I don't know. I don't want them thinking I'm dead-"

"How will you explain your eyes?"

Gon touches his face, forgetting about the hard truth.

"They show that you are not the same as before. You can not let others see you."

"...Then phone call?" Gon frowns but he knows that if he showed up at Kurapika's and Leorio's place with these eyes...they would question him about where he's been. They would ask about his eyes. They would want to know why he can't stay. He needs to let them know he's alive though.

"I'll give you that." Kite walks out of the room.

"Good bye Komugi! Good bye Alluka! I'll be back to see you." Gon would give Komugi a hug but the King has his tail around her and he's eying him so he hugs Alluka again.

"Bye Gon, bye Killua ! I'll miss you!" Alluka cheers.

"G-Good bye. Stay safe Gon, and Killua." She smiles softly.

"That reminds me..." Gon mumbles when they walk out of the room with Killua by his side. "What happened with Hisoka? I attacked him right?"

"Don't know. The last I saw of him he was fighting Illumi. He's probably dead." Killua shrugs, not caring about the older man's well being. He just hopes he took Illumi with him.

"Why was he fighting Illumi?" Gon looks over at Killua, catching him stiffen.

"...To protect you I think. We were able to get away because of him." Killua's ears twitch in displeasure.

"Hisoka is strange..." Gon's pupils dilate and the gold spreads. "Friend or foe?" He speaks lowly, Killua's ears twitch when the tone changes to something that is too bland to be Gon.

"It doesn't matter. Either way, he's a pain in my ass." Killua growls. This comment seems to snap Gon out of his state and he blinks. "He's probably dead anyway."

"Is Illumi that strong?" That gold is back but those amber eyes are filled with curiosity.

"I couldn't tell you who is stronger. Illumi, or Hisoka." Killua answers honestly. His eyes narrow when they spot a large van sitting in the middle of the hallway. There must be another way to get into this lab that Killua doesn't know about in order for them to drive something like this in here.

"Get in the back. Try to make yourself comfortable, it's a bit crowded. I ask that you don't fight. Anyone that finds out about you all, I'll have to kill so I'd rather not have to do that." Kite opens up the back doors to this van.

Killua feels his stomach twist, his face lifting with both surprise and disdain.

"Yo." Hisoka wiggles his fingers at the two, winking at them with those strange yellow eyes. He's in pretty bad shape, clearly exhausted. There's large gaping wounds that have seemed to be quickly stitched together all over his chest. "Oh Gon, you're looking lovely. That's the look I've been missing~"

"Fuck off" Killua hisses, in no mood to play around. Next to Hisoka sits Illumi who is staring at the two, but it feels like he's looking through them. He's in no better shape than Hisoka, telling Killua they really fought it out with all they had. Now they sit next to each other like they're cozy or something. If Hisoka and Illumi weren't' enough to make Killua feel anxious, his whole fucking family is in the van. He's glad he decided that Alluka should stay with Meruem. This is a fucking nightmare.

"We're not getting in this van. You have to have a separate one." Killua snarls, looking over at Kite who only shakes his head.

"Just this one."

"Do you know all these people Killua?" Gon questions when everyone seems to be looking at Killua like they know him...they're glaring at Gon too.

"Ohh Gon, I have a seat open right next to me~" Hisoka coos.

"What's wrong bro? Don't want to introduce us to your freak mate?" The really fat one grunts, a smirk on his lips that gets Killua to bristle.

"I can't believe this! This is the man you were talking about Illumi?! How could you like this thing?!" The older woman shrieks, it hurts Gon's ears.

"Kil is just lost." Illumi hums. "He'll soon realize he doesn't deserve or need a mate."

The youngest child in the corner glares at Gon. He frowns from such a hostile look.

"Everyone settle down." A man that Gon looks very much like Killua roars and the bickering stops. Those strange blue eyes lock on Gon.

"Gon...meet my ex-family." Killua says bitterly, he's trembling he's so angry from all their words towards himself and his mate. There words linger though, Killua doesn't want to acknowledge that.

"You can't disown us." Illumi tilts his head. "You'll always be my little brother."

"Gon!" Hisoka keeps waving him over, this large smirk on his lips. "Ohh you smell delicious-"

"Would you fuck off!" Killua hisses, having it with everyone in this van and he hasn't even stepped foot inside. Killua's eyes widen when Gon suddenly walks into the van. He boldly walks inside, looking around at all the creatures who just stare at him. "Gon don't just get in there!" Killua gets in after him, his ears back.

"My name is Gon freeces." Gon puts a hand to his chest, his amber eyes alight with that fire as he looks at everyone slowly. "I'm Killua's mate. Killua doesn't have to deserve me. I love him."

Killua's face explodes with heat from Gon just declaring that to his murderous family. Hisoka looks pleased, his ears twitch on top of his head and he looks around, wondering who would be the first to react. To Killua's relief, and Hisoka's disappointment, no one jumps up to attack.

"A alpha." The man who Gon can only assume is Killua's father says with his eyebrows furrowed.

"This is terrible!" That woman screams again.

"Heh, should have known Killua would be the submissive-" The fat one grunts.

"Why don't you go and choke on cake, fat ass" Killua snaps over at his other older brother but his face is still flushed. His heart beating too fast from Gon just declaring himself Killua's mate with such power...It did have an effect on him. Gon isn't scared to say he loves him, he's not scared to express it...

It made him really happy.

"I just want you to know..." Pitou glances at Kite before she gets into the van. She purrs, her tail flicking. "Whatever you're planning, it won't work. My king, is now your king." She closes the door with that smile on her face. Her words lost to everyone else because of all the commotion going on.

"Gon, you can be my alpha~" Hisoka purrs.

"He's my alpha!" Killua growls, not realizing what he just said till Hisoka's lips twist in a smirk.

"So you admit you're submissive!" That fat one yells in laughter.

"Gon needs to die." Illumi states, Hisoka giving him a dark look.

"Lies! Kil, You're just confused. There's no way you like this thing! And there's no way you would make it your mate-"

"Shut up Mother. Gon is my mate. He's not a thing." Killua hisses, his face still red, but his anger is shinning through.

"This is fun." Pitou giggles, taking her seat next to Illumi. "That man said we have a 10 hour drive." She hums. Everyone stops to look at her with wide eyes. Killua's face gets pale.  
"Fuck me." Killua grumbles.

"Gladly." Hisoka says. He's promptly punched by Illumi.

Let the ten hours of hell begin.

* * *

"Are you okay Alluka?" Komugi's soft voice gets the young girl to snap out of her trance. She looks over at Komugi who is frowning. Alluka smiles, even though she knows Komugi can't see it.

"I'm okay. I just hope they can really help Gon and...Even though I'm scared, I'm going to be brave for big brother. He's always known what's best for me." Alluka hugs Komugi, nuzzling her head.

"If needed, Pitou will keep them safe." Meruem says for both Komugi and Alluka.

"T-That's good." Komugi gives Meruem a grateful smile as she pats Alluka on the head.

"Pouf will show you to your room Alluka, it is close to my queen's chamber." Meruem says and Pouf walks towards them.

"Come my dear." He says with a beautiful smile. Alluka stares at him a moment before she takes his hand.

"You're really pretty." Alluka's ears twitch. The man blinks at her before he smiles.

"Well thank you." Those yellow eyes are looking at Alluka a bit differently as he leads her out. Alluka looks back just to see Meruem walk towards Komugi, saying something to her before he picks her up. Alluka smiles to herself and looks forward.

She blinks when she sees the sour expression on Pouf's face from watching the same scene. He blinks when he sees Alluka staring at him and looks forward.

"Lets go shall we?" He walks quickly.

"Do you not like the king and Komugi together?" Alluka asks, catching how Pouf's shoulders tense.

"What makes you say that?" He asks dryly.

"Well you had this mean face but your eyes looked kind of sad." Alluka watches Pouf look back at her with slightly widen eyes. They go back to normal, those yellow orbs getting deep with emotion.

"It's painful to see the King make such a mistake. There is no way that she can become a queen. I can say nothing against her or the king will get angry at me. She is not even fit to be a meal, let alone his queen!" Pouf's eyes fill with tears. Alluka can only stare at with wide eyes. She wasn't expecting all of this. "I have failed as the king's servant for letting such a thing happen."

"I don't think that you failed. The king looks really happy with Komugi! I don't really get all the queen stuff but Komugi is really nice!" Alluka smiles but this doesn't seem to help Pouf. The ant glares at her before he wipes at his eyes.

"You sound just like Pitou." Pouf growls. "Nice does not make a queen!" This look burns in his watery eyes, and Alluka recognizes it. Because she's seen the look in her brother's eyes countless times when it comes to Gon.

"Are you jealous of Komugi?" Alluka asks. Pouf sends her a dangerous look, Alluka's ears go back in fear.

"Jealous? Of that disgusting human? No I am not. I am horrified that this has happened. I will show you to your room and leave you." Pouf says with indignation, leading her over to a door before opening it for her. Alluka walks in, glancing back at Pouf who still has that glare on him. "Keep quiet about this conversation or I will kill you." He breathes out before he shuts the door.

Alluka shivers, frowning to herself. She has no doubts he would. Her ears go back and she growls. It's one thing to be jealous, it's another one to be mean to Komugi. Komugi is her family too. She decided that. Pouf might try to do something. Alluka will keep an eye on him.

Alluka turns her attention on this room. It's really nice, with a big large bed and a bathroom of her own. It's homely. Alluka is about to jump in the bed and roll around when her door opens again.

"Um...little one, this was given to me by the experiment Hisoka. He said it was from Gon for Christmas?" Youpi comes in, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he holds bag in his arms.

"What?" Alluka runs up to the strong, red being and grabs the bag. She sits on the floor, her tail waving around as she starts to pull the things out. Youpi stays with her, seeming very puzzled by it. Alluka's eyes widen when she pulls out a beautiful blue dress, along with drawing materials and a stuffed bear.

Alluka stares at it for a moment before tears well up in her eyes. She holds the dress close to her. It's the best gift she's ever received. It makes her miss Gon and Killua terribly even though they've just left. Alluka is truly loved by both.

"I'll always wear it...So come back so you can see me in it." Alluka smiles to herself. "Next time lets spend Christmas together!"

"Who are you talking to?" Youpi blinks when Alluka starts to sniffle and she wipes her eyes. She stops her crying and smiles at this ant.

"No one. Thank you for bringing this to me. It's made me really happy." She beams.

Alluka will be brave. For her brother, and for Gon.

"Yupi do we have any paper and crayons? I have a lot of drawing to do!" Alluka gets up, gripping her fist, her ears perk.

"Pouf is suppose to tend on you so I'll alert him." Youpi says before leaving the room.

Alluka puts on the blue dress, smiling so brightly when it fits. She runs over to the mirror and looks at herself. She gasps, touching the frilly dress with care. Her chest tightens and she feels like crying again but instead she smiles. She's always wanted to wear a dress.

"I'll be right here so..." Alluka thinks of Gon's bright smile, and her brother's kind eyes.

"Come back soon."

* * *

 **Got it out early. I'm not sure when I will get the next chapter out. As you can see, the lab theme is still persisting so if you don't like this i'm sorry to say it's not changing soon. I would just quit the story. Don't like, Don't read. Tis very simple.**

 **But to everyone who likes the story, thank you for your support. I enjoy reading everyones reviews, especially the longer ones.**

 **Kross434: I have considered it but i'm too lazy to do so at the moment. AO3 has been mentioned to be a couple of times.**

 **And thanks to those who put their input to my question. I have no idea who would win but since I don't like Illumi, i'd like to believe Hisoka would win:p And i'm considering doing this thing were I would reply to the reviews you set out like I did with Kross434. I've seen this author I really like do it and thought it was nice. Would you guys like that? If not, it's easier for me to just say the norm of 'thanks for the support' and 'till next time'**

 **so with that, till next time.**


	19. Chapter 19

Killua doesn't know how long they've been in this van. An hour? Four hours? He's not sure but it feels like he's been stuck in here for an eternity. If there's a hell, he's sure this is what it would look like. Minus Gon. Gon is the only person that's making this bearable for the young boy.

If you told Killua that after he had escaped the lab that he would be be stuffed into a van with his family, Hisoka, and his mate that's a human turned experiment, Willingly going to another government lab,he would have ripped out your throat and laugh at the ridiculous thing you've spoken.

"I'm bored." Pitou whines, currently rolling around on the ground and over everyone's feet. No one dare kick her off. This ant that resembles their kind is obviously much stronger. Killua thinks the van has gone quiet because of her.

"Killua." Killua blinks, looking over at Gon who is sitting next to him, those strange eyes looking right at him. The gold is around his iris, Killua doesn't know what it means but he's just happy to see the amber. "You should rest. You can lay your head on my shoulder." Gon smiles gently. This isn't the first time Gon has offered this during this ride.

"I don't want to close my eyes and leave you alone with this group." Killua eyes all his family members one by one. Milluki looks like he's taking a nap but that's the only one who is asleep. His father and mother are watching Gon closely. Illumi is sitting still like a statue. He's barely moved since the start of the ride. Hisoka is licking a wound on his forearm.

Killua's ears twitch. It seems like everything has calmed down but they might be waiting for him to let his guard down-

"Killua, it's fine. You need to get some sleep. I don't like seeing those bags. You're exhausted." Gon wraps his arm around his waist, pulling him closer. Killua feels his face heat up as it's pushed into Gon's firm but comfortable chest. He can hear Gon's heart beat and feel his chest rise and fall with every breath.

"Don't let that thing touch you so openly!" His mother suddenly shouts. Killua feels him stiffen but Gon keeps his head in his chest by gently rubbing the back of his scalp.

"Killua is tired so he's going to take a nap." Gon says simply. There's no fear in his voice. Maybe it's because he's so reckless. Maybe it's because of project X. It calms Killua down all the same. It's not like Killua can fight Gon much more. He is _weak_. He is _exhausted._ The tips of his ears gets red as he takes in Gon's scent greedily, soaking in his warmth, his heart beat becoming a lullaby. It's all luring him to sleep, his eyes are getting heavy. Killua can feel his blood in his arms, it's time to heal, it's time to rest.

Gon keeps playing with his hair, touching him so tenderly. Killua completely forgets about where he is and just focuses on Gon. He purrs softly before slowly but surely, his breathing evens out and his body relaxes against his mate.

Killua's body shuts down, trusting himself to Gon and leaving his mate to fend for himself.

Unknown to Killua, he has nothing to worry about.

Everyone in the van has gotten tense, staring at Gon who's eyes have become completely gold. He stares forward blankly, his hand moving through Killua's hair like he's on autopilot.

"Well that shut everyone up." Hisoka chuckles, his tail flicking in excitement.

"Everyone will be quiet while he sleeps." Gon says motor-toned.

Killua's father puts a hand on Killua's mother when she opened her mouth to say something. Hisoka just smirks to himself. Illumi's expression doesn't change at all.

Once there's a moment of quiet, Gon's eyes slowly start to gain back amber with every soft noise Killua makes in his sleep till those eyes go back to normal. As normal as they're going to get. Gon blinks a couple of times before he looks down at Killua's head. He smiles and kisses behind his ear, it twitching in response.

"Hmmm he can't control it." Pitou hums as she sits up, her tail waving around as she watches Gon closely. She looks over at the oldest man here and smiles, her ears twitching. "I'm guessing the reason why you all are here is to take down Project X if he gets out of hand during the trip to the lab. Am I right?"

Gon looks up from smiling at Killua, the specks of gold growing in his eyes.

"Bingo." Hisoka purrs when no one else wanted to answer. " The humans don't seem to have any idea how their creation will act. Though dangerous, Gon is no where near as dangerous as he _can_ be." Hisoka's yellow eyes shift over to look at Gon. "Tell me, what do you feel when your eyes change colors? I'm very curious."

"I...I don't feel anything. I'm not aware of it. It's kind of like a haze comes over me and I can't make out anything." Gon takes a deep breath before looking at Hisoka. " Killua said you're the reason they were able to get away from Illumi."

"That I am. Are you going to reward me Gon~" Hisoka licks his lips.

"It doesn't matter now. Your fate is sealed." Illumi hums, looking over at Gon slowly. "You did not get away from me. A new place, just a different trap. Kil will be free of distractions soon enough." Illumi glances over slowly at the young boy that is curled against Gon before those haunted eyes lock with Gon's gold tinged orbs.

"This doesn't feel like a trap. I didn't feel anything bad from Kite and he said Ging was a part of this..." Gon trails off, his eyebrows furrowing. He steals a glance at Killua before looking back at those haunted eyes. Gon's eyes burn. The fire is different, those who have known him can tell, but it's there. Through the gold and the black, the same fire burns, if only a bit duller. "I'll protect Killua no matter what. If I'm wrong, and Kite is planning something bad...I won't let him get hurt again."

"Yet it was you who hurt him this badly." Illumi says slowly, getting Gon to visibly flinch.

"I lost control of myself but I won't do it again." Gon grips his fist but those eyes aren't hiding anything . He's deeply troubled, the guilt is there and it's not leaving without Killua being awake to bite some sense into him. In this moment, from Illumi's words, A seed of resentment towards himself is planted firmly into his heart.

"Those words mean nothing." Illumi hums.

"They mean everything. It's not happening again." Gon says with more conviction this time.

"oho that face." Hisoka reaches behind Illumi to touch Gon's shoulder. He strokes up and down, those strange amber eyes stare at him a moment, the gold increasing but he doesn't flinch away from the older man's touch. "Trap or not, it should be interesting."

"There's been something that's been bothering me for awhile now..." Gon blinks, shying away from Hisoka's touch but not moving too much. He doesn't want to wake Killua. Gon looks between everyone, they're all staring at him. They haven't stop. "Why are you guys still here? Why are you still listening to the humans? Killua said all the ants killed the humans in the lab...it was the perfect time to escape. And why haven't you tried to escape before this? Killua escaped and I've analyzed that most of you are stronger than him." Gon's eyes become gold and his voice bland before his eyes stabilize back to amber.

"We have no want of being a part of the human's world. Though we are strong, we can not beat some of their technology." Killua's father speaks. "The humans have given us this power and in turn we use it to kill those who don't deserve to live."

"But they've been hurting Killua." Gon grinds his teeth, the specks of black growing. Hisoka is sitting on the edge of his seat, looking like a kid in a candy store.

"They hurt him because he was resistive." Illumi speaks with no emotion. Those strange eyes are watching Gon, in that way that it looks like he's looking through him more than looking at him.

"And that makes it okay?! Of course he would be resistive! All those things...He said they did so many experiments on him...and I'm sure they did these experiments on you all too didn't they?" Gon looks around. Everyone is silent. But how Killua's dad's eyes get this darken look, Gon knows he's right.

"It made us stronger." He concludes. "Do you think Killua would have the power he has now if not for the human's tests? We gain power from them."

"I mean look at me little one." Hisoka purrs, turning his body so Gon can get a good look at all the damage he's taken. There's a deep cut that runs from his forehead, through his left eye, down to his cheek. Gon hadn't noticed this before because for the most part, the other side of his face was hidden from him in this position.

The eye that has the cut is closed and Gon can see his teeth through the parted flesh of his cheek. His right arm appears to be broken and there's a deep gash dangerously close to his heart. Sixty percent of damage is what Hisoka has taken. Gon isn't aware that his eyes have turned gold but he senses the change in him, something hazy and a voice that isn't his own whispering like a disembodied one around him.

"All this damage but I will heal quickly. Those humans gave me this powerful body. I can now hunt much more larger and more entertaining prey." Hisoka's yellow eyes look Gon up and down, licking his lips. "And much more _delicious_ prey."

"Are you saying you're grateful to the humans for doing this to you?" Gon frowns, the haze leaving him as he looks between everyone.

"Hmm, Grateful isn't really the word I'd use." Hisoka hums.

"We accept their reasoning while keeping our own." Killua's father speaks.

"You should really hold your tongue." Killua's mother hisses, seeming to get more fed up with Gon. "How dare you question us-"

"Calm down." Killua's father growls when he sees the gold start to take over Gon's eyes. She huffs but she calms down. She shakes but she keeps her back straight.

"I can tell you Gon, we're not like them." Gon looks at Pitou who is couching on the ground, looking at him with big curious eyes with her head tilted. "They follow the human's orders. They know nothing else. But you don't have to worry." Her tail flicks, those eyes holding a bit of crazy. "All the humans will be food for the king soon enough."

"I want to fight you..." Hisoka's tail flicks but when he moves he winces. "...So strong. But I bet you're nothing compared to the king. Now I really want to fight him." Hisoka smirks when those strange eyes land on him.

"You're saying something reckless." Illumi watches Pitou's pupils get blown out. "She's going to kill you." He says it like he's declaring the weather. A fact, with no feeling attached to it.

"You will not touch the king." She hisses.

Gon looks down at Killua when the boy mumbles something in his sleep, curling more into him. Gon glares at Pitou. "He's not going to touch the king. We're leaving him behind. You are being too loud." Gon's voice isn't his own. That haze growing. Pitou looks at him a moment before settling down.

After a tense moment, Gon's eyes come back to normal and that haze leaves once again.

"I want to ask you a question." Everyone looks over at the youngest person in the van. She had been sitting in the corner quietly watching Gon run his fingers through Killua's hair this whole time without saying a word.

"Kalluto don't talk to it-" Killua's mother starts.

"Kikyo, it's alright." Killua's father's tail brushes against her, she looks like she's about to protest again when Kalluto speaks.

"Why does Killua like you?" Kalluto asks with those dark eyes.

"Why?" Gon blinks, startled by the question. He thinks about how he should answer it. Why does Killua like him? "Umm because we have fun together? I can't really say how Killua feels but I can tell you why I like Killua. He's the best. Everything about him is perfect." Gon finds a smile turning his lips. Kikyo's lips tug down in a displeased frown but Gon pays no mind to it.

"Because you have fun together?" Kalluto questions, those eyebrows furrowing. "Is that all it takes to dismiss us?"

"Huh?" Gon blinks when those violet eyes avert away from him, Kalluto is glaring off to the side. "...I'm sure it's more to it than that. You should ask Killua why he likes me but sometimes you just like someone. I saw Killua first as a stray cat but even then I knew I liked him. I wanted to take him home and care for him. I wanted him to keep me company. When he turned human, I still liked him and wanted him to stay."

"Sometimes you just like someone?" Those eyes burn softly. "Killua has left this family and declared you and 'it' his family instead over-"

"Kalluto." Kikyo shrieks. Kalluto quiets down, what ever emotion Gon saw bubbling up inside those violet eyes fades away. Gon frowns, there was anger there but he could see something plainly. Pain. Pain in those violet eyes. He wonders if Kalluto missed Killua. Gon hasn't heard anything about this person. Killua only spoke of Alluka.

"I want to get on the internet." The larger brother wakes up from His mother's shriek. "Why did I have to come out?" He starts to complain. Those dark eyes narrow at Gon. "It's all your fault. Killua's freak mate." He sneers.

"I want to go outside." Pitou whines loudly, starting to roll on the floor again.

"That's right, I'm Killua's mate." Gon states with confidence. He locks eyes with the older man that resembles Killua so much. "You're Killua's father aren't you? What is your name?"

"Don't ask him his name-" Kikyo screams.

"My name is Silva." He speaks boldly, those strange blue eyes watching him closely. He speaks like a man of power, a man of leadership. Gon knows he's the head of this family.

"Killua and Alluka are my family now. He is my mate, and that's not changing. I would rather us to get along but even if we don't, it doesn't change how I feel about your son." Gon speaks with conviction, those amber eyes burning with specks of black and gold. Kikyo looks like she's about to explode. The big one snorts, Kalluto stares at Gon blankly, there's not even a twitch in Illumi's expression. Pitou and Hisoka watch with amusement. It's there only source of entertainment right now, the only thing keeping them at bay from stirring up more trouble.

"Do you love him?" Silva asks, those blue eyes never backing down from those strange orbs that aren't human.

"Yes." Gon doesn't falter. He loves Killua with all he has. Gon loves Killua, what's left of his heart, it belongs to the young boy that stole it.

"I see." Silva is the only one who is calm. The air is tense and more than one person is glaring at Gon at the moment. "Illumi, you told me that Killua attacked you to keep you from harming Gon?"

"Yes. I was not impressed." Illumi shakes his head. "Kil has thrown his teachings out."

"Love is a dangerous thing for an assassin. An assassin should be able to push aside their feelings. But if not, if you gain that weakness..." Silva glances at the way Killua nuzzles his head in Gon's chest, he's starting to stir. "Then you protect that weakness." Silva locks eyes with Gon. "I have my own weakness but it's not like his. He loses himself in it but it may be because he's so young. He has the most talent of us all yet he is the only one who can't put his feelings last." Silva's eyes get dark. "I hold you to high standards. Don't die and don't betray him."

"I won't." Gon's heart beats faster, something tightening in his chest. That's the closest thing he's sure he'll get as acceptance from Killua's family. Kikyo is staring at Silva in horror. Kalluto is starting to look angry again but he holds his tongue.

"What are you saying?!" Kikyo screams and it hurts Gon's ears. "You can not accept this! Killua can not be mates with this-"

"Quiet." Gon hisses when Killua's ears twitch on the top of his head. They'll wake him. Kikyo's lips tremble but she keeps in the scream that was surely about to come out of her mouth. Those gold, dangerous eyes silencing her. Only after she shuts up, Gon realizes that he hissed. Like a _cat_. He frowns to himself, shaking off the haze that started to cloud his mind. He strokes Killua's hair and when he lets out a content sigh, Gon feels his heart beat steady and he becomes stabilized.

"That being said, I do not think these humans mean ill will towards you." Silva speaks again when everyone settles down.

"I don't think so either. Kite doesn't seem like a bad guy...and he knows my father." Gon thinks to himself.

"Aw I wanted someone to fight." Pitou pouts. "I wanted someone to play with. I don't know how long I can stand being in this small space." She starts to roll around again, her ears twitching on top of her head. "I don't like being away from the king." She sighs. "If these humans can fix you, I hope they do so quickly so we can get back."

"Me too." Gon says honestly but there's a thought in the back of his mind, a doubt. He knows it's not going to be quick. There's a purpose he needs to fulfill. He feels it in his blood, in the slight twitch of his hand. What that purpose is, he does not know.

"Oh Gon~ I'm getting jealous over here with how you're petting Killua. Don't I deserve some attention?" Hisoka smirks. "I need a doctor."

"I don't have anything to treat you with." Gon frowns slightly. Gon isn't a doctor, now he never will be.

"All I need is your sweet loving-"

"Your pick up lines are as bad as ever." Illumi says tonelessly.

"Mm is someone jealous? Me and you could have ago." Hisoka purrs, leaning closer to lick up Illumi's ear.

"No." Illumi says simply, waving Hisoka away.

"No to being jealous, or not to having a go?" Hisoka raises his eyebrow. Illumi's eyebrows furrow, just at tiny bit. If you weren't looking good enough, you would miss this slight change.

"To both. Now be silent."

"So mean." Hisoka lays his head on Illumi's shoulder, getting himself comfortable on the statue of a man. Illumi doesn't flinch and he doesn't move. He just stares forward blankly. It's very strange to see. They're both in bad shape because of the fight they just had but they're interacting like it never happened.

Illumi has been forty percent damaged. His left arm is broken and it looks like he may have some fractured ribs from the labored way he breathes sometimes. Gon hears that voice again, and he feels that haze. Illumi would have won the battle. Something got them to stop and now they're like it never happened. There's no grudge. Is this the norm for them?

Hisoka glances over at him, those yellow eyes gleaming in a way that make Gon feel strange. He tries to sort out what Hisoka is to him. Friend? Foe? Hisoka helped Killua and Alluka. He's helped him during the time he was in the lab. But he's the reason they were captured in the first place. When his gleam turns into a gaze of lust, Gon looks away. That haze started coming back and he felt uncomfortable.

Gon keeps his eyes away from the strange two and looks down at his love. Gon smiles to himself, touching Killua's cheek gently before he leans his head against Killua's. Gon feels tired. He wants to rest too. Killua's warmth and scent makes him feel like he's home again.

Gon closes his eyes and he's no longer in the van. He's back in his bedroom, curled next to Killua, breathing in his scent and soaking in his warmth. Gon is able to drift off to sleep with no issues, everything being forgotten for just a moment.

When he closes his eyes, and all he feels is Killua...Gon feels human. He feels like how he should. The haze and voices are pushed to the side and what's left of Gon shines brightly. Gon can grasp onto what's left of his old self easily when Killua is by his side.

Killua has become what's left of his humanity.

* * *

Killua's ears perk up when the van comes to a stop. He yawns, his blue eyes fluttering open. They snap open when he realizes that he's been sleeping and Gon has been around his family-

He comes face to face with a pair of Gold eyes staring at him intensely. Killua tenses, swallowing down the worry that gathered in his throat and made it tight.

Everyone is quiet and tense. They all look about ready to attack Gon if he does anything.

"Gon." Killua tries, reaching up to touch his cheek. Gon doesn't flinch away. Those eyes stare at him a moment longer before the amber comes back and he breathes out a 'Killua'.

"Was I doing something strange? I remember taking a nap and then...well nothing. I forgot that you were laying on me." Gon frowns to himself, pulling away like he had done something wrong.

Killua is quick to wrap his arms around him, not letting the other male get away. "It's fine idiot." Killua grumbles, biting his face getting Gon to wines but the amber comes back. Killua gains more of Gon.

"Ouch Killua." Gon whines, his eyes getting watery from Killua's sharp teeth on his sensitive skin.  
"I wouldn't have to bite you if you didn't make that face." Killua grunts, licking at his bite marks before kissing the soft flesh. Killua finds his lips turning in a smile when Gon's cheeks start to get flushed. It's nice to see that color. It's nice to see that look...even if the black specks have started to grow.

Killua's ears twitch and he turns his head, his eyes widening when he sees his family staring at the two. Most with horrified or angry expressions. Killua had forgotten where he was for a moment. All he cared about was Gon. Killua's ears flatten when he makes eye contact with his father.

"How do you feel Killua? How is your arm?" Gon's voice gets Killua to look away from his family and to look at Gon...his true family. The one that truly cares about him with everything he has. Who has given everything for him. Those amber eyes hold that concern and Killua soaks it in like he always does.  
"I feel better. I can move it." Killua moves his arm, it hurts a bit to do so but he doesn't let it show in his face. He can move the wrist he had broken and his fingers. Since he healed this much, his body most have shut down for awhile. Killua frowns. "How long have I been out?"

"Hmm i'm not sure. A long time though. I'm glad you got some rest. You looked so tired." Gon smiles, leaning in to kiss Killua's forehead. Killua's cheeks flush from such a simple gesture. When Gon pulls away though, that amber is gone. "You are not fully healed. You did not receive adequate rest."

Killua tries not to show his displeasure. Project X has a strong effect over Gon. It can take over so quickly and suddenly. Right now Gon is calm, emotionless. He's not like the being that attacked him with the black eyes. Not the being that almost killed him. No...even though that being hurt him, Killua still saw Gon in it. There is no Gon in this being with the gold eyes.

"I don't need anymore rest. The question is did you get any rest Gon?" Killua stresses his name, hoping that it will get that gold to go away. To his relief it does, that amber coming back.

"I got a bit of rest. I feel a little better." Gon smiles, Killua wonders if he even noticed that Project x just took him over. He won't say anything. Killua doesn't want to upset him.

"Hey the van stopped." Pitou sits up, her tail waving around. "We can leave right? I want to go-" She starts to rant impatiently just as the van's doors are open.

"I'm glad to see that everyone is in one piece." Kite's eyes had fallen on Gon first before looking over everyone else. "That was a hard, cramped trip. You all did well. You will be treated nicely here. So come on out." Kite moves out of the way. Killua's family is the first to move. They all form a single file line and walk out, they all look so serious.

"Internet...interent..." Milluki mumbles to himself as he gets out. Kalluto sends Gon one last glare as he gets out. Illumi shoves Hisoka off his shoulder and walks out. Hisoka falls to the ground with a groan, with a whine that sounds like 'you hurt me so.' Pitou pushes past everyone and runs out of the van. She keeps running down the hallway.

It seems the van has been backed into a building.

"Is this the lab where Ging is?" Gon can't help to question as he stands up, Killua right by his side. They both walk out of the van, Killua eying Kite cautiously before looking around at their surroundings.

"Yes. This is lab 7, and you could say it's central. We over see all the other labs. It's hard to control all that goes on as you can see from the lab you just came from. Rules were broken and because of that..." Kite trails off, those small eyes looking behind him at Pitou who is running around everywhere. He looks at Gon. "This is where it all started. Ging is one of our leaders. As I told you he over sees the medical department. He monitors the experiments and figures out what went wrong when one of them dies." Kite turns and starts to walk down the hallway. Gon follows him excitedly. Killua doesn't like humans but this Kite seems okay if he can get that fire to burn in Gon's eyes again.

That fire that was so natural and strong before, has become something delicate, like a candle blowing in the wind. It blows out and then someone has to relight it. Sometimes it's weak, sometimes it's strong. Right now it's strong. Killua wants to keep it that way.

"When did Ging start working here? Can I see him?" Gon keeps up with Kite. He's so eager. Killua has to admit he's pretty interested in Gon's father himself. He's not sure if he likes him much, since he abandoned his mate but he's interested all the same. Killua's blue eyes slowly look over to Kite for his answer.

"You can see him but not today Gon." Kite says as he makes a left, the two having to walk quickly to keep up. Killua's body was numb from the ride but he's starting to get feeling real quick. Pins and needles are uncomfortable but he's able to walk normally. Gon is a bit slower and Killua is sure it's because of this strange feeling.

"Why not?" Gon frowns, the disappointment so easy to see. "I really want to-"

"Gon." Kite stops in front of two large doors. He turns around to face the two, his face stone. "Today you rest. We have much to talk about and much to do but today you rest. Your body needs plenty of it. Tomorrow we will do the procedure to fix the way you respond to orders. It will take a lot out of you and you need to be fully rested. Once the procedure is done, we will see when we can get to Ging. But you will see him. He can explain more than I can about project X."

"...Okay." Gon settles down when he hears that he'll be able to see Ging. Just not right now.

"I assume you will be staying with him?" Kite look at Killua.

"Yes I will." Killua's ears go back, those blue eyes giving him a warning. Killua isn't being separated from Gon. That's not happening again.

"The room is big enough for the both of you. There is a bathroom with supplies already in stock. I will have someone deliver you two food. It will be a meal high in protein and carbs to keep your strength up. If you need anything, there is a red button in the room that you can push. Someone will come to assist you. As I said before, you are not a prisoner here. You are our guest." Kite says seriously.

Killua is still suspicious but food sounds really good about now. So does that bed. Killua's heart beats faster at the thought he'll be able to have Gon all to himself tonight. Of course he should let Gon rest but...how long has it been since him and Gon have been able to be in a room by themselves?

"Thank you." Gon smiles at Kite. "I feel like there's something I'm missing though..." Gon's eyebrows furrow. "I wanted something else..."

"You did mention that you wanted to call your friends, Kurapika and Leorio." Kite watches how Gon's eyes take awhile to light up in recognition.

"Right! Kurapika and Leorio! I really need to call them. I can't even begin to think what they've been through..." Gon frowns, specks of black growing. Kite takes note of it all.

"I will get you a phone. While you wait for that, do as you wish. You are free to walk around the lab but I suggest you rest. I will see you at 1100. Be awake at 1030." Kite says watching Gon's eyes turn gold, soaking in the order before those amber orbs come back. "I'll see you then. Go inside your room." Kite walks away, Gon finds himself watching the man's retreating form. His hair is so long it sways. He wants to ask more questions but he has the urge to just go into his room.

"He was giving you orders" Killua narrows his eyes, not liking that. That man is controlling Gon. It's not anything serious but it still bugs Killua. He can't trust anyone with Gon.

"Yeah I know" Gon's eyebrows furrow. He opens the doors that lead to their room. Both Gon and Killua's eyes widen at how huge this place is. "This...This is bigger than my apartment." Gon speaks with amazement as he takes in the large king sized bed, the clean white carpet, and the ceiling that's so high.

"That bed looks heavenly." Killua's pupils get big before he runs and jumps on the bed. He starts to roll around, marking the bed his. He sighs when he sinks into the mattress, kneading at the soft fabric. "It's so nice. It's even softer than your bed."

Gon walks over and touches it. He can't help to nod in agreement. It is very soft. "I've never seen just one room so big." Gon says with wonder as he walks over to another door, opening up. The bathroom is as big as his old bedroom. The bath is huge. "Wow!"

"It's huge." Killua starts to rub himself over everything. Gon doesn't mind. Now that Gon is like this, he can smell what Killua is doing...he can smell his scent. Where he rubs, it lingers. Gon likes the idea of the room smelling like Killua. It makes his heart beat faster and he feels warm.

Gon looks over at Killua, watching himself rub his body against the wall. He hones in on his small hips and his pale flesh that Is all exposed for him to see. He's naked, and it seems only now does it sink in. The heat becomes unbearable. Killua's scent is becoming intoxicating. Gon wants to...he wants to...

 _Claim_ him.

"Alright I'm done. Maybe we could finally take that bath together." Killua turns around only to tense when he sees those dark eyes staring him down with hunger. Killua swallows, his heart beating faster in his nervousness but there's something else, another reaction from those intense eyes.

Pure lust and possession are the emotions In those black eyes. There's Gon there but then...it's not him. Gon stands up and starts to stalk towards him slowly. Killua licks his lips, ignoring his body when it tells him to back away.

He's been wanting Gon's touch for so long. Those emotions are raw and dark but they belong to Gon in some way. Killua can sense it. This isn't going to be the Gon who is gentle with him, who kisses him and looks at him lovingly. No, this being will be rough with him. He will take what he wants and he'll bite before he kisses.

Killua won't back away from Gon. He embraces having Gon mate with him viciously. He almost wants it. Having Gon treat him so nicely hurts when Killua blames himself for everything that's happened to him. Killua doesn't care if he's hurt, as long as it's Gon. Then it doesn't matter what he does to him.

Just when Gon is close, there's a knock at the door. "Excuse me. I've brought you diner-" The scent of meat and cheese fills the air and Killua can feel himself drool.

Gon is more affected by the smell of food it seems. The black look completely leaves his eyes and he makes a bark-yes, a bark- of excitement. Killua feels disappointed by the tense atmosphere leaving as Gon runs to the door and opens it. Gon doesn't seem to remember what he was doing just a second ago.

Killua's stomach growls but there's another part of him that is hungry as well. Starved in fact. Gon is the only one who can fill him up and make him full.

Killua ignores this hunger for now and just settles with the one that can be filled as of right now.

"Thank you so much." Gon beams as he takes the two trays of food before moving back to the bed. He places them down, looking over at Killua with such excited, bright amber eyes that Killua can't be too sore about their moment being interrupted. "Killua come over here! You need to eat all of this...you've gotten so skinny." Gon frowns.

"Oh don't worry. I am eating all of it. If you're not careful I might just eat your meal too." Killua grunts as he walks up to Gon, getting on the bed with him.

"No." Gon moves his tray away, a pout on his lips but that gold has increased.

"Oh?" Killua grins as he sits next to Gon, his tail waving around.

"You can have some of it." Gon mumbles as he grabs a fork full of mac and cheese ,holding it towards Killua with a smile turning his lips. "Say ah."

"I don't really want your food." Killua shys away from the fork, blinking when Gon's eyes widen and he drops the fork.

"I almost forgot!" Gon closes his eyes, putting his hand together. Killua watches him, his eyebrows furrowing.

"You're saying prayers?" Killua recalls, his ears flatten as he looks down at the trays filled with meat and cheese. "...Why would you thank him?" Killua says, knowing he sounds bitter.

"Why wouldn't I thank him?" Gon's question gets Killua to look at him in disbelief. Those amber eyes light up knowingly. "I'm still here, i'm going to meet Ging and Kite is going to help me. There's a lot to be thankful for." Gon smiles to himself, they get distant. "Mito always said that you should always be thankful and to look for the good. For a long time, after Mito's death, I had trouble finding things to be grateful for and because of that I had trouble finding what I even liked about myself. My dream of being a doctor kept me going but I was not grateful for it. Kurapika and Leorio helped a lot but I..."

Gon goes silent

"I still had trouble. I still felt cold and haunted and I couldn't be thankful like Mito raised me to be..." Those strange eyes lock onto Killua and he smiles...one of those smiles that Gon use to give him all the time. It's so bright and big, and _Gon_ , that Killua feels his chest tighten. "But when I met you it became easy again to say what I was grateful for. You made me thankful for everything that I have once again. I became more grateful for my job, my home, everything in my life. But most of all I'm thankful that I got to meet you." Killua's eyes shine with this light that Gon hasn't seen in such a long time. Gon's smile grows a bit more. "And right now, The thing I'm most grateful for is that I get to share another meal with you, Killua."

Killua forgets how to breathe. Those words have stuck him somewhere deep. He feels his throat tighten in a painful way and he lowers his head, his bangs falling and hiding the wobbly smile that has formed on his lips and how his eyes have started to water. Killua can't speak, fearing that his emotions would be heard in his voice.

 _You're not the only one who is grateful Gon_. Gon gave him a reason to fight, to hope, to smile. Killua can't say such a thing. His chest is too tight. In this moment it's easy to forget their situation if just here and now.

Killua thinks of all the times they've had dinner together. Killua never knew how intimate and nice sharing a meal with someone was till Gon. It's been so long since they've just been able to sit together, share a meal, and talk without having to worry about someone ripping them apart.

But Gon looks at him, and says those words like this meal with Killua is the best thing ever. Like because they're having dinner together, he's going to be saved and everything is going to be okay...

And maybe it will be.

"...I'm...I'm grateful too." Killua mumbles, getting himself together so he can look at Gon, his cheeks getting pink when Gon beams at him. He could have said so much more, and nicer but that's what comes out. He's too embarrassed to say everything that he is grateful for but he wanted Gon to know that he is grateful. Not to God, but to Gon and everything that he is.

"I know." Gon smiles, reaching over to scratch behind Killua's ear. Killua leans into his touch, feeling his face get hotter when he makes a sound of protest when Gon pulls away from him.

"Let's eat." Gon chuckles. He shoves a huge chunk of chicken in his mouth. As soon as the food pass his lips, it's like a switch has gone off in his head. He starts to eat quickly, barely breathing, the light that Gon had just a moment ago fading. Killua watches him, watches as those eyes are gaining specks of black. Gon isn't chewing his food and his teeth are getting sharper.

"I want some of that mac and cheese. Feed it to me." Killua grunts when the black specks became too much. He wants to slow Gon down and give him something to do. Only when Gon's eyes turn gold does he realize his mistake. Gon takes the mac and cheese on a fork and holds it out to Killua. Killua frowns but he leans in and eats It off the fork. "Gon..." Killua hates the gold. He takes a fork filled of mash potatoes and holds it out to Gon.

Killua's ears flatten when the gold doesn't leave for a moment. It takes awhile but The amber comes back, Gon tilting his head at the fork in his face. "Killua-" Gon's eyes widen when Killua shoves the fork in his mouth.

"I'm feeding you." Killua explains. He won't say anything about the gold. He won't acknowledge how his heart had started to beat faster in fear. He will ignore that part of him that wants to run. Killua has a already decided. He's not leaving Gon. Not now, not ever.

"Okay." Gon smiles. "Do it a bit more gently..." Gon takes his fork and sticks it into a piece of steak. He holds it close to Killua's mouth. "...like this!" Gon looks so happy. How can what's left of the amber look so bright? How can Gon still smile like this? Is it enough to be grateful for this meal? To be grateful for Killua? After everything he's been through, everything he's lost...Gon is still here and smiling.

Gon is amazing.

Killua leans in, opening his mouth. He lets Gon put the fork in his mouth softly, Killua taking the piece of meat and chewing it slowly. They keep taking turns feeding each other, Killua finding that he likes feeding Gon as well. There's something nice about it. It feels like Gon is depending on him to give him food, just like Killua is depending on Gon to feed him. They are dependent on each other. This way Killua can also slow Gon down, and keep the black and gold at bay-

Gon gets some cheese on Killua's nose by accident when feeding him. He chuckles and leans in, licking Killua's nose before kissing it. Just from the simple gesture, Killua's body is on fire. There's something bubbling up in his chest and he finds that his lips can no longer fight the smile. This time he doesn't try to hide it.

"You're a mess." Killua smirks as he takes the last forkful of food and holds it out for Gon to eat. When he opens his mouth, Killua moves it a little on purpose to get a bit of the mash potatoes at the corner of his lips. Killua is more than happy to lean in himself and lick it up, slyly sliding over to kiss Gon afterward on the lips. It feels good. It always feels good.

Gon makes a pleased hum as he opens his mouth, letting Killua snake his tongue inside. Now that both their tongues are soft, it feels so much more different. They tangle together, the food that they just fed each other can be tasted. Killua doesn't mind. It's Gon, and he's kissing his mate. It always tastes and feels good.

Killua's stomach is full but there's still that hunger that hasn't been satisfied.

The teenager feels his muscles tighten, his heartbeat quicken and his breathing increasing. Gon's scent is overwhelming him, his kiss is setting him over the edge. Killua wants more. He wants to touch Gon's bare skin that's exposed to him. He wants to mate. If Gon keeps kissing him like this Killua might-

Killua's eyes snap open when he touches Gon's chest, and it feels _hot_. Not just warm, physically hot to the touch. It's almost painful to keep his hand on his flesh. If the heat didn't cause Killua concern, the ferociousness and intensity of Gon's heartbeat would.

"Gon-" Killua bites back a hiss when he pulls back and all he can see are those black eyes staring back at him. His instinct is telling him to get away. To fight. Gon's amber has faded into the darkness. "Gon." Killua tries again, keeping his voice firm. The boy's eyes widen when Gon shoves him down, pinning his arms to the bed, grabbing them so tightly he wonders slightly if he's going to break his bones.

Gon hovers over Killua, staring down at him with those black eyes. He's breathing heavily and his flesh is still painfully hot. He's overheating. Killua doesn't know much about project X but this heat can't be good for Gon's body. It's putting it through stress.

"You need to calm down-" Killua's breath hitches when Gon leans in and sinks his teeth into his shoulder, breaking the skin easily. Killua hisses and tries to pull away but Gon just growls and tightens his grip on him. The pain isn't anything he can't handle but when Gon comes to, he'll have that face again...he'll hold that self hate and Killua doesn't want that. "Snap out of-"

"Mmm Killua's blood..." Gon's voice is much lower. Killua shivers, feeling Gon's togue lapping at the wound on his shoulder, digging into the wound. "You taste good here. It makes me want to eat you." Gon pulls back, Killua's blood on his lips. Those eyes are more than just black now. They tremble, filled with hunger and lust. Raw primal emotion. Gon's smile is too wide, too wicked.

The blood is starting to get shunt to his muscles without him willing it. His body is getting prepared to fight. His instinct is telling him to act and he has to suppress the urge to bare his teeth.

"You don't want to eat me, Gon." Killua's voice is lower and he knows his eyes have gotten darker, sharper without him doing anything. His body isn't capable of not responding to a threat in some way.

Killua swallows thickly when Gon kisses him roughly, the taste of copper invading his mouth. Killua doesn't fight the kiss, he wants the contact, his own body torn between wanting to mate or fight. Killua won't fight Gon. He'll bring him back.

"I think I do." Gon smirks against Killua's lips when his kiss had left the younger breathless, the pale flesh now flushed a pretty pink. "You would be a good meal, and it would be like we became one." Killua leads up and kisses Gon once again with as much strength as he can. Gon freezes before he purrs, the sound coming from deep within his throat.

This being isn't Gon but there's traces of the man he loves. He says warped things but it's like Gon is expressing how he feels but the message is all wrong. As long as there's traces of Gon, Killua can handle the black.

Killua's pulse does an excited twitch when he feels Gon's hardness pressed against his thigh. The beast has been provoked and Killua is more than ready to deal with the consequences. Even if it hurts.

"Killua...I want to leave scars on you too." Gon pulls away from the kiss, biting his lip as he leaves. He licks at the blood before he leans down, licking and biting at his chest. Killua's skin is easily breaking from those razor sharp teeth. His tongue is rough. Killua tries to calm his racing heart but he can't. His whole body is tense. At any moment Gon could try to kill him. Killua feels it.

This is nothing like mating with Gon. Killua is on edge.

"Ha..." Killua closes his eyes when Gon licks at his pink nipple, the sandpaper texture not pleasant but he's reacting to the sensation.

"Look how excited you are." Gon chuckles, grabbing onto Killua's cock roughly. Killua bites his lip, his hand is burning him but it's Gon's hand. He's wanted to be touched like this for awhile by Gon. Even if those eyes aren't right. Even if his smile is warped and he's overcomed by darkness...

Gon is still there, lingering somewhere behind the blackness. Killua will always react to Gon.

"You're giving off so many hormones. Are you a bitch in heat?" Gon's deep voice gets Killua to blush. Damn he forgot now Gon can smell his hormones. He can smell how Killua reacts to him. There's no hiding from Gon now.

"It's your fault." Killua growls, wanting to gain some control over the situation. Gon's smile grows wider and he can see a full row of jagged teeth. "You can let me go Gon. I'm not going to run. I'm not going to fight you either."

"You're right." Gon licks his lips and he lets go of Killua's wrists. "Your scent...it's too much. You want me to take you." Gon's smirk is devilish. Such a thing shouldn't be on Gon's angelic face.

It's true that Killua wants Gon. He's been reaching his breaking point as well. Killua is sure that fighting this being isn't the right move. It will just get more aggressive and it's not like Killua wants to stop this. He just wishes those eyes were the amber he knows and loves.

"Yeah...Gon I want you." Killua looks into those black eyes, speaking to Gon, not this being. He hopes his words can reach him. But those black eyes just lock onto Killua, taking in those half lidded eyes, how his face is flushed.

Gon laughs loudly, Killua's ears going back. "You didn't have to say that. I can see it. I can smell it. You reek of these desires. That's okay. I'll give you what you want." Gon grabs Killua's hips, his nails digging into his flesh before he flips him over. Killua hisses when his arm is brought up at an odd angle.

Killua swallows thickly at being in this position. He doesn't like being turned away from Gon. He wants to see him. He doesn't want to be- The boy cries out when Gon leans over him, sinking his teeth into his shoulder just as he thrusts his impressive length all the way in without warning or preparation. "Fuck." Killua curses, his ears hot from the stinging pain in his backside, knowing Gon ripped him.

"Mmmm you feel so good." Gon growls, licking at the blood that he caused to fester. "Is it painful? You've gotten all tense." Killua bites his lip when Gon thrusts. He takes deep breathes through his nose, trying to loosen up but it's difficult. "Is it more painful than when they did it?" Gon leans over his body, whispering this hotly in Killua's cat ear, getting it to twitch. Killua doesn't need to ask who Gon is talking about. His answer is quick.

"No, it's not." Killua answers, his eyes widening when Gon's hips snap forward fiercely. Even though that hurt it's not painful like when those humans had their way with him. They were disgusting. Not only was there pain but it was revolting. Killua isn't disgusted with Gon. He never would be. This is still his mate's body.

Gon might not be kissing him and treating him with care but it's still him.

"That's no good." Gon snarls, he starts to take a brutal pace, the sound of slapping flesh harsh. "I want it to be the worse. I want to make it so nothing they could have done can compare. Then when you think of this kind of pain, you'll think of me and only me."

Those words set Killua aflame. There it was, the warped trace of Gon. Gon wants to hurt him, to take away his thoughts of his pass pain. When he thinks of pain, Gon wants Killua to think of him. It's a kindness, a warped, dark, insane one but it's a kindness. Maybe it's strange that Killua finds his lips turning in a grin, his muscles loosening up so even though Gon's thrusts feel like they could break all the bones in his body, it doesn't feel like he's ripping anymore.

A fever over takes Killua like no other. Gon's weird scent is doing things too him too and his words... _Gon.._.

"You'll have to do your worse." Killua smirks, spreading his legs and arching his back, letting Gon sink even deeper into him. Killua moans when he hears Gon's breath hitch.

"Don't tempt me." Gon digs his sharp nails down Killua's back, drawing lines of red. His pace never slows, if anything it gets faster. It hurts. It does. It feels like Gon is breaking him from his strength but it's hitting that _spot_ and it's _Gon_ and it feels so fucking _good._ "You don't sound in pain at all." Gon pants, yanking Killua's tail getting him to meow in surprise. "You're sucking me in..." His voice breaks at the end and it nearly sets Killua over the line.

"Gon...Gon..." Killua starts to moan his mate's name, not able to do much else at this point. His ears flatten as he feels Gon's rough tongue over the cuts in his back.

"That's it. Keep saying my name. It's only me now." Gon shoves Killua's head into the mattress, his eyes getting watery when a rough thrust hits his prostate dead on by chance. The boy is drooling, his body slicked with sweat. He grips onto the bed, feeling Gon's thrusts becoming erratic. Killua is close. He's so close. He can feel it building up.

"Shit." Killua reaches down and starts to stroke his leaking erection. His needy, wanton moans becoming louder and louder. He feels like he's going crazy. His thighs are twitching, his head spinning, his muscles tensing. He's so, so close. He just needs a little more-

"No one will ever touch you like this again." Gon growls so lowly. That's the last straw. Killua throws his head back, and with a cry he sprays his seed onto the bed. Gon thrusts a couple more times before Killua feels his burning cum inside of him. Gon doesn't say his name and he barely makes a sound. He collapses on top of Killua, the boy feeling the large body relax completely.

Killua takes a few moments to just catch his breath. The high of his orgasm is fading and he's really starting to feel the damage.

His ears twitch when he hears the snore from on top of him. With a groan he gets up, Gon falling off of him. The man's eyes are closed, his expression peaceful...the warped smile has left him. Gon is back and he's asleep. Killua sighs in relief, leaning in to place a kiss on those parted lips. It's probably best Gon fell asleep. He would freak out if he saw the state he was in...

Killua moves Gon, pulling him up in bed. He tucks him in, making sure he's comfortable before going into the bathroom to get rid of the hot cum that's inside of him. He winces when it starts to leak out of his entrance, burning the back of his thighs.

Everything about mating with that being was rough. He burned him in more ways than one.

Killua comes out of the bathroom once he's finished. He glances at Gon's sleeping expression before he picks up the trays of food, a smile working it's way on his lips. This feels normal. Killua picking up after them once they've eaten. Seeing Gon's resting face. This pain doesn't bother him.

It felt good to have Gon inside of him once again. If he's honest, Killua's not even sure he's satisfied. When he looks at Gon's unsuspecting face, it gets Killua to feel warm all over again. He wants to mate with Gon now. The real Gon. The Gon that worries over him, the Gon that kisses him and handles him like he could break.

Killua's' hunger can't be filled till he has a taste of Gon. That being can get him off but not like those amber eyes can and that bright smile.

Killua forces himself to look away, his ears flattened. He wants to just pounce Gon but it's best he rests.

Killua walks over to the door and opens it, remembering that person that brought them the food said to just leave their dirty dishes outside and she would collect them. Killua freezes when he sees those strange red eyes starting at him.  
"Did he attack you again?" Pitou stands across from the door, her pupils getting big as she takes in Killua's state. Her ears twitch. She's not concerned. Just curious.

"It's none of your business." Killua's eyes narrow as he places the trays down. He doesn't like this creature. She leaves a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach. He didn't even sense anyone was so close. She's dangerous.

"Hmmm?" She tilts her head. "Well I guess it doesn't matter. When are they going to fix him?"

"That human is doing something tomorrow morning. Gon needs his rest for it." Killua gives this creature a look before turning on his heel, about to walk into his room and shut Pitou out-

"Okay. I'll be right here. To keep watch." She sounds like she's smiling. She's keeping them trapped. She won't let Gon far from her.

"Whatever. We don't need it. I'll protect Gon." Pituo doesn't say anything to that as Killua walks into the room and shuts the door. There's no point in locking it. No door could hold that thing back. She isn't going to quit. As soon as Pituo is good with Gon, then there's nothing to worry about but...

Killua feels like she may be their enemy in the near future. The way she looks at Gon, the way she acts...Killua would never think of that ant as an ally.

Killua glances over at Gon who is still asleep, his chest raising and falling softly. He finds himself staring for awhile before he tears his eyes away. He should fully explore this room. Killua looks at the clock, noticing it reads five in the afternoon. It feels a lot later than that. The ride here was exhausting.

Killua checks the dresser in this room and is pleased to find clothes. Gon would probably feel better in something to wear. He wore clothes all the time back at his home and he was very pushy about Killua wearing clothes as well.

Killua's eyes widen when he opens up another drawer. There's a first aid kit and bandages. That's not what made him surprised though. In this drawer there's also lube. They really kept this room stocked with anything they might need. There's also condoms, a product Killua learned about when he researched human mating dos and don'ts. It's not like Gon can get him pregnant or that he has some disease so Killua doesn't get what these are doing here.

It seems that Kite must have been able to tell they were mates. Are they generous for supplying this? Or do they want something out of it? If there's anything Killua has learned, it's to never trust scientists. Kite doesn't seem like the others Killua has encountered but there's a lot of unanswered questions. The human was quick to leave them today.

Killua's ears twitch when he spots a piece of paper in the drawer. He picks it up, reading the neat hand writing carefully.

" _Most body secretions from Gon are toxic. His blood, along with his semen could be rated one of the most powerful poisons in the world. Though we are not sure how potent Gon's secretions will be exactly it is best to be safe rather than sorry. With project X in his system, Gon's sexual need will go up. If you are going to mate, or you think that Gon might lose it soon, put a condom on him and get him ready before it happens."_

"Shit." Killua's ears go back. He's immune to most poisons but he's not sure about whatever poison the project X has caused. He feels okay but he shouldn't go by that. And does Kite know how hard it would be to put one of these things on with that being taking over? Who's to say Gon wouldn't have just taken it off or that it wouldn't have ripped while he was thrusting so hard?-

" _If the condom breaks or it is impossible to get Gon to wear one, we have in here the antidote. We are aware that you have been trained to handle poisons but we don't know much about Project X. This is a safety precaution. Inject this into your femoral muscle."_ Killua finishes reading the paper before digging in the drawer. He pulls out a syringe filled with clear liquid. It's labeled 'antidote.'

"You would think this was something he could have mentioned." Killua grumbles as he pops the cap off the needle. He sniffs it cautiously before he pulls his hand back. He swings the needle into the front of his leg, not flinching as he injects the clear liquid.

Killua's vision swarms. He stumbles back a few steps, his body breaking out in a sweat. He takes a deep breath, closing his eyes tightly. Just as soon as the dizzy spill came, it's gone. Killua doesn't feel any pain from his injuries either. That liquid might have had some kind of drug mixed with it.

Killua digs through the dresser some more, trying to find anything else that would be really useful. The boy's ears perk up when he hears a soft knocking at the door. Killua glances at Gon, sighing in relief when he sees his mate hasn't stirred. He glares at the door when the knocking continues. He marches over to the door and throws it open.

"H-Hi." A young woman in a lab coat squeaks from the fierce look on Killua's face. "I've come to bring you a phone for Project X-"

"His name is Gon." Killua is quick to correct her. He notices right away that she's not alone. She's been accompanied by his father. Silva doesn't say anything to him, and Killua can't help to avert his gaze from those intense blue eyes.

"Gon, yes um...did he attack you?" She seems more nervous now.

"No." Killua holds out his hand. "You said you had a phone for him. You can give it to me."

"Okay well...just tell him this phone has a time limit of 30 minutes. It will break after that. It will also break if the phone picks up on any words or sentences that might be about this lab or Project X" She explains.

"I'll tell him that." Killua takes the phone. She nods her head, glancing over at Pitou who is watching her with her tail waving around. She's quick to leave, Silva giving the ant a stare before glancing back at Killua. It's just a look but Killua knows what it means. 'Be careful.' ' Be wary'. His father has defiantly seen him in a worse state. He's not worried about the wounds. His father sees the ant as a threat as well.

"I'm bored." Pituo complains, watching them leave. She looks at Killua with those strange eyes. "No one has been down here. We except for that one guy but he wasn't much fun...a good meal. It's too bad they're all scared of me. I want someone to play with."

"It's boring because you're staying in one spot." Killua nods his head to the right. "Why don't you just run off and do something."

"Oh I can't do that." She suddenly gets very serious. Killua's hand twitches apprehensively. The playfulness is gone from her. "The king ordered me to keep an eye on Gon. So I will keep an eye on him."

"Right." Killua walks back into the room and shuts the door. He won't try talking to her. Those ants are crazy about Meruem. If the king ordered her to stand out there till she died, she would do it. Killua knows that Meruem didn't just order her to keep an eye on Gon though. He ordered her to kill him if anything suspicious was going on.

Killua has to be wary indeed. Having her waiting outside of their door makes him restless. The humans wouldn't do anything to move her either. They're smarter than that. It seems like everyone has been keeping away from this hallway just for the fact the ant is in it. It may also have something to do with Gon being Project X. That woman seemed very afraid for more than one reason.

"K-Killua?" Killua's ears perk up at that voice and he finds himself turning and walking towards Gon without much thought. Gon is rubbing his eyes, his voice nervous and concerned.

"I'm right here. I didn't leave." Killua reassures, getting in the bed next to Gon, grabbing his hand. Gon's shoulders relax instantly and he sighs.

"Did I fall asleep? I feel like I've been out for awhile." Gon turns towards Killua, laying his head on his chest before opening his eyes, looking up at him. Killua finds himself smiling when he sees that amber, But soon those eyes start to shake, filled with horror. "Killua! Your lip- your body!" Gon pulls away in alarm, waking up completely. Killua flinches, completely forgetting about his state.

He just wanted to be by Gon. He wanted to comfort him. Killua can see Gon working it out in his head, the gold increasing before a look of pure self hate fills the amber and Killua despises it. "Oh god I did this didn't I-"

"Stop." Killua snarls, grabbing Gon by the throat. Gon's eyes widen at the sudden aggression but he doesn't fight him as Killua gets on top of him, pinning him down on the bed by his throat. "I told you once Gon. I don't want to see that look on your face."

"But I...I've hurt you-"

"Gon." Killua's sharp eyes get Gon to avert his gaze. "Look at me." Gon takes a moment but he looks back into those blue eyes. They widen when he sees the light in Killua's eyes, how he looks at him with that emotion shining through. "I told you. The pain doesn't matter. It wasn't you and I don't blame you for it. They're going to help you."

"I promised I wouldn't do it again..." Gon frowns but he doesn't look away. He reaches out and touches Killua's cheek softly, the boy nuzzling into it.

"Gon you didn't hurt me. You're different from the being with the black eyes and the gold eyes. That is project X. Kite said he was going to help you so don't look like you want to give up. Do I need to demonstrate again how pain isn't anything to me-"

"No. I know Killua. I know you don't want to lose me. I just hate hurting you." Gon calms himself, stroking Killua's cheek a bit more before going up and running his hand through soft locks. Killua purrs, not able to help it. He's soaking up the touches filled with concern and love. This is what he's been craving.

"Yeah. So you have to make it up to me and then we're even." Killua lets go of Gon's neck, leaning close so they're noses are almost touching. "I have a few demands."

"Anything you want Killua." Gon says with such fire that Killua swallows. Gon would do anything to amend himself. He would go to any lengths for him. That resentment Killua had seen is gone now but the boy is sure it still lingers in the back of Gon's mind. Gon holds onto things, and he carries them on his shoulders like it's all his fault. Killua honestly places no blame on Gon. None. But even if Killua explains how the humans did this to him, Gon will still place the blame on himself. He would say something like 'but I should be able to control it' or 'I should be stronger'. That's just how Gon is.

Killua is sure that when Mito died, Gon had also carried the burden of guilt on his shoulders. It's never no one elses fault. Just Gon's, in the older man's eyes.

"First, I want you to mate with me. Second, I want to take a bath together. And third, I want my ears to be scratched and I want you to say nice things." Killua started off strong but by the end of it, his face got too hot for his liking.

"Nice things?" Gon says with a smile when he sees Killua's flustered expression. Gon chuckles, reaching up to kiss Killua on the lips. "That's easy when it's you." Gon's smile slightly falls for a moment. "But you look pretty hurt. I don't know if we should have sex-"

"That's what I want." Killua cuts in shortly. He wants to mate with Gon. He wants to see that amber. He wants to be caressed and held. Killua gets off of Gon and lays on his back, hiding any wince from his wounds. He made sure Gon didn't see his back, he didn't want Gon to get upset again. "I want it like this."

"K-Killua I'm not sure we have any lube." Gon swallows, looking down at Killua's manhood that is already standing at attention. Gon's cheeks flush but when he gets a look at the cuts on Killua's chest and the bruises, he goes pale again. Those eyes are filled with that concern but Killua doesn't want that right now. "Killua I really don't think-"  
Killua grabs the blanket and rips a piece of it off. Before Gon can question him he ties the clothe against his eyes before pushing Gon so he's laying on his back. "If you're going to keep getting worried and upset at seeing my body, then we'll just have to do it like this." Killua doesn't want to. He wants to see his amber eyes but he doesn't want them looking so sad.

"Killua-" Gon's eyebrows furrow and he goes to take off the blind fold only for Killua to slap his hand. "Ow!"

"Don't." Killua says. He doesn't want to give an order and he hopes Gon's eyes have stayed amber. He walks over to the dresser and gets the lube. He looks at the condoms for a moment and decides to take one. Killua thinks he'll explain the whole 'toxic semen' thing later. He feels like it would kill the mood and Killua is trying to build it back up.

"Okay." Gon says and Killua's relieved to hear it's his voice. "You can still lay on your back. I think I can work with this. You'll just have to guide me."

Killua flops himself on the bed, grabbing Gon's chin and turning his head so he can kiss him. He moans when he feels that tongue rubbing against his in the way that Gon does. Soon Gon is taking control of the kiss, his tongue goes deep, no where goes left untouched.

"Killua." Gon sighs, pulling away from the kiss once Killua is good and breathless. He says his name like a prayer and soon those lips are on his cheeks, tracing his jaw before going lower. Killua tilts his head back, holding back a groan from the gentle kisses on his neck. "It's been so long..." Gon says distantly, moving lower to kiss and suckle the collar bone.

Gon is taking his sweet time like he does but Killua is already at his limit. He'll hold in his impatience. He wants to the touches and kisses. He wants to hear his voice.

When Gon gets to his chest and he feels the wounds with his lips, he pauses. Killua runs his hand through his hair, trying to encourage him to keep going. He's please when Gon starts to kiss the wounds, continuing on from where he started. "Sorry. I'm sorry." Gon keeps repeating with every wound he kisses. Killua knows he means everyone. He is loved. It feels like Gon's kisses are healing him, bringing him back.

"G-Gon you don't have to do that." Killua tenses when Gon gets too low, licking the tip of his pink, swollen head. "I want you...I'm at my limit. I'll cum if you do that." Killua's eyes widen when Gon takes off the blind fold. "Gon-"

"I know Killua but...I want to see your face. I don't like it. Not right now." Gon's amber eyes are darken but not like that being. Gon is staring at him so intensely, his cheeks flushed. He's hard again, and Killua can smell that Gon is at his limit as well.

Killua swallows, averting his gaze knowing they've lighten up from Gon speaking the same thing on Killua's mind. It makes him happy, that Gon wants to see his face. Even if it's embarrassing as hell.

"Hurry." Killua urges with as much control as he can. His voice cracks and it's too low. Gon nods quickly, getting the message. Killua hands him the lube and the condom. If Gon is surprised by the condom he doesn't show it. He gets to work lubing his fingers up but Killua stops him there. "I don't need that."

"Killua it will hurt if I don't prepare you-"

"Gon just -  
"Killua." Gon gives him this pleading look. Despite the fever of his lust, he feels himself calm and he nods his head, a soft blush on his face as he turns his head so he doesn't have to look at those bright amber orbs.

"Do what you want."

"Thank you." Gon leans in and kisses Killua's thigh softly, getting him to spread his legs even farther. "You feel so nice, Killua..." Gon says against his inner thigh just as he pushes his index finger in. Killua doesn't feel anything. Gon has already thoroughly stretched him but he doesn't need to know that. Killua is liking this treatment. Once Gon gets three fingers in and he asks if Killua is okay, he puts the condom on and puts a generous amount of lube on his cock.

"You ready-"

"Yes. I'm more than ready." Killua wraps his legs around Gon's waist, pulling him down so he can kiss him deeply. Killua groans when Gon pushes in him slowly. He loves the way Gon's breath catches in their kiss. Gon thrusts start off slow, their kiss gentle and sensual. Killua feels like he could finish right now. This is Gon. Gon is inside him. Gon is kissing him. Gon is being so tender with him.

"Haa... Killua you feel so good. It's been...so long..." Gon breaks the kiss to leave a trail of them down Killua's throat. The boy can't stop the moans that are leaving his lips, soft whimpers and pleas being spoke under his breath. Gon's words are going to be his undoing. "I've missed you. I've missed this but I've missed you the most Killua."

"S-Shit Gon go faster...ha..." Killua throws his head back when Gon does just that. He picks up the pace, sucking on Killua's neck. When a slicked hand starts to stroke his cock, Killua almost shouts. "I'm...I'm..." Killua tries to get some words out but all he can do is moan. He's not going to last long. He's still sensitive from last time.

"M-Me too. I love you Killua." Gon's amber orbs looking down at him are what seals the deal.

"G-Gon!" Killua arches his back, his mouth open as he orgasms. Shot after shot of hot cum covering his chest. There's much more than there was before, Killua notices. Gon watches Killua climax with half lidded eyes, the man thrusting in and out of that tight heat a bit erratic before he's cumming with Killua's name on his lips.

It's strange not feeling Gon's seed inside of him and Killua finds he misses it. Gon pants for a moment, catching his breath before he lays on top of Killua, not seeming to mind the mess on his chest. He kisses Killua's cheek, and starts to run his hand through his hair. Killua purrs, loving this afterglow and the attention he's receiving.

"I really need to clean your wounds" Gon says after awhile of them just cuddling up against each other. Killua can't help to hiss when Gon pulls away from him.

"Or we could go for another round." Killua watches as Gon pulls his now limp member out, pulling off the condom before throwing it into the small trashcan by their bed. Killua really could. He wants more of Gon.

"Killua you're injured." Gon scolds, getting in that doctor mode of his. "We can do it more another time." Gon says with a flush. "But I need to get you clean up. You're being reckless."

"You're reckless all the time." Killua points out, crawling towards Gon with a smirk on his face when he sees how those amber eyes take him in. "So let me be reckless too-" Killua goes in for a kiss only for Gon to cover his lips so he can't. "Oi-"

"I'm aloud to be reckless but you're not." Gon says simply, Killua squeaking when Gon just picks him up suddenly, cradling him against his chest. He walks them into the bathroom, though flushed, Killua doesn't fight him much.

"What a selfish thing to say." Killua grunts as he's placed down so Gon can start filling the bath with warm water.

"I guess so." Gon sticks out his tongue. "So I guess I'm selfish."

"Hell yeah you are." Killua can't help his amused smile when Gon chuckles. Killua watches the bath fill before stretching his arching muscles. "You know, I've been wanting to take a bath with you since we've become mates."

"Yeah I remember. We just never got around to it." Gon recalls with a smile. He shuts the water off when it fills up. "I'm going to wash you out here with the soap that way you're not just sitting in dirty water." Gon grabs the shower head, pulling it down. "I'll wash your hair in the tub."

"Sounds good to me." Killua watches as Gon grabs some soap. He sprays Killua's chest first, his cum coming off easily. Very carefully Gon starts to rub soap onto the rips. They sting but Killua doesn't let it show on his face.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine."

Gon gets on his knees and starts to scrub Killua's thighs. They weren't even damaged but Gon is washing him thoroughly, massaging his thighs before rubbing down his legs. It feels good. Killua closes his eyes, his ears flattening. His Gon always makes him feel lovely. It feels like his tense muscles are loosening from Gon's massage. He feels so clean.

Killua's breath catches when he feels a soft pressure on his ball sac. He glances down, the heat traveling to his face when he sees Gon is licking and sucking the sensitive area. "A-Ah..." Killua puts his hand through Gon's hair, closing his eyes when Gon sucks in one of his balls, swirling his tongue around. Gon takes the soap and covers Killua's half hard dick with it, stroking him and cleaning him at the same time.

"I want to..." Killua takes a shuttering breath. "Always get cleaned this way..."

Gon grins, pulling away much to Killua's frustration. "I think you're pretty clean Killua." Gon is still grinning.

"Cheeky bastard." Killua growls. Knowing he's being teased.

"Turn around, I have to get your back."

"Yeah." Killua glares before he turns around. He feels the light atmosphere change as soon as he does.

"I really dug into your back..." Gon says quietly.

"It doesn't hurt." Killua lies.

"You might need stitches." Gon very, very gently starts to rub soap on his back. Killua bites back his hiss of pain and he takes it. Very carefully Gon rinses his back off.

"You can stitch me up if you need to. There's a first aid kit in the dresser." Killua says, his ears perked up to listen for anything Gon might say. Killua flushes when Gon gets to his backside, but when he remembers the rip he turns around quickly. "I'll get my ass."

"Okay." Gon blinks but he hands him the soap anyway. Killua keeps his face stone as he spreads his cheeks and rubs some soap in between. It hurts like hell. Gon walks up and starts kissing his face. The pain becomes more bearable. "Killua..." He sounds so pitiful. He lays his head on Killua's shoulder, hugging him closely.

"Hey Gon...I love you." Killua forces out, even though his throat got tight from being bashful. He wants Gon to know that. Nothing has changed.

Gon tightens his grip on him.

"Kite is going to do something about this...Ging should know more about it too." Gon says more to himself before he pulls away. Those amber eyes burning with conviction. "I don't want to ever hurt you again."

"They'll do what they can." Killua says, not sure what Kite or Gon's father can do. "Let's not worry about that. I want to take a bath." Killua pushes Gon away, getting into the tub. The heat feels good, it only stings a bit. Gon gets in after him, Killua's eyes widening in secret delight when Gon wraps his arms around him from behind, pulling him up so Killua is sitting on his thigh.

Gon just holds him. He doesn't say anything and he doesn't have to. Maybe he's just like Killua and he wants to be as close as possible. Killua is enjoying this, loving it in fact. When Gon starts to kiss the back of his neck, the boy can't help to sigh pleasantly.

After a long moment of silence, Gon pulls away, the smile that he had lost is back.

"I'm going to wash your hair."

Killua has no complaints.

* * *

"Come in." Ging grunts with indifference, scratching the stubble at his chin.

Kite walks into the room, not at all surprised when he sees the man slouching at his desk, not doing anything productive at all it seems. "Have you done anything while I've been away?"

"Course I have." Ging swirls around in his chair to look at Kite. Kite raises his eyebrow when Ging doesn't say exactly what he's been doing. "I see you are in one piece and you charted your report on project X."

"So you've already read it?" Kite's eyes widen slightly. He had just got done charting an hour ago. He wanted to report to Ging first if Kite's honest with himself but he had to get report from all the other projects that he's brought with him. It's been very busy to say the least.

"Yeah sort of. I skimmed it. In your report you said we have one of the ants here. That ant has killed one of our men and is standing outside of Gon's room right?"

"Yes. I put that hallway on lock down and who ever goes into the hallway has to be escorted by Silva. Right now he's the strongest one in commission. Illumi and Hisoka have been damaged pretty badly and they need to be treated."

"I got some of my men taking care of that as we speak. I don't give a shit about that right now. We have a shit storm on our hands because of that ant." Ging is unamused. "You think you could have, I don't know, not brought an ant here?"

"I had no choice if I wanted to get Gon. The king ordered for her to go along to keep an eye on us. If she deems we are doing something suspicious, the king ordered her to kill us, along with Gon." Kite speaks seriously, his back straight. Those green eyes don't leave Ging's blazing amber.

"Great." Ging turns to his desk, tapping his fingers on the wood. "...We'll deal with the ant later. What I really want to say to you is..." Ging turns around with this smug smile on his lips. "I told you my son would be fine."

"He is in better shape than I thought I will admit." Kite watches that smug smile grow. "I'm not sure you read my report fully. Gon is far from fine. He is unstable and I've recently discovered that he will follow anyone's order. And since 'Gon' still exists, Project X is a failure." Kite watches how that smug smile never leaves. His words haven't affected the other man at all. Kite wonders if they just went in one ear and out the other without being processed.

"I don't think it's a failure." Kite's eyes widen at this, and he looks at Ging to explain himself. " It's not how I wanted it that's for sure but it's not a failure. Project X wasn't ready to be used, that fucker..." Ging grumbles angrily to himself, his amber eyes flashing for a moment before he locks eyes with Kite. "Project X was meant for me. It was only suppose to work for me as well but..." Ging smirks. "What can I say, he has my blood."

"You can't be thinking about doing that still." Kite speaks solemnly. "You've meddled with things too much Ging. You are not invincible. If the higher ups were to find out about this-"

"How would they find out?" Ging tilts his head, those amber eyes confident. "You're the only one who knows about it and I know you wouldn't tell anyone Kite."

He doesn't say anything to that.

"You worry too much. I'm starting to think that white hair is from stress and not genetics-"

"Ging." Kite addresses.

"Not in a joking mood?" Ging seems to be fighting back a smirk. When he sees the pointed stare he's getting he bites his tongue and settles down. "Okay, yeah I'm still planning on it." Kite tenses.

"You do realize there's a lot more risks now. Project X isn't functioning properly-"

"It's functioning just fine Kite. It's just a bit...mixed up. From your report, it's done everything I've wanted it to do. Yeah he's unstable, yeah he's listening to others commands, and yes, his eyes are all wrong but it's perfectly fine."

"It is?"

"Look, it's simple. Very simple. Tomorrow you will deal with the order problem and any other program. If you can rewire him, then this will be easier. Once that's all done, we'll start training him. Work him up to be what Project X was meant to be, get him to the level then use my baby and he'll be set to go. Then we get Gon to kill all the ants. Problem solved, I'm a genius."

"It is not that simple." Kite raises his voice, starting to feel frustrated with how lightly Ging is taking this. "The ant Pitou is watching us closely. She will be able to tell that we are training Gon. That is if Gon even survives tomorrow. Reprogramming him will be very painful and i'm not sure if I can even do it because 'Gon' still exists!" Kite takes a deep breath.

"...Let's say everything goes well tomorrow. Lets say we can train Gon without the ant stepping in...His training would put a lot of strain on his body. Project X responds to Gon's emotions. I watched it in his eyes. When he would get upset, more black specks would grow. If he was analyzing a threat or thinking of what to do, Gold would appear more. He is unstable. Putting his body through that kind of training could make him go insane. You of all people know what Project X can do to the brain."

Ging is quiet for a moment. "Yeah, I know. If project x was finished, we wouldn't have to worry about anyone going insane. My serum will fix that but we have to get him to where we need to get him. Once the serum is used, there's no more growing Gon can do. We have to make sure he's strong enough to kill all the ants-"

"You don't even know if that thing will work." Kite speaks as firmly as he can.

"I've put all my work into it. It's going to work. Trust me." Ging's amber eyes haven't lost that blazing. "Every thing is going to be fine. We'll deal with problems as they come up. Right now just focus on reprogramming him and keeping the ant at bay. If we have to we'll kill the ant ourselves."

"Are you serious?" Kite shakes his head when he sees that grin on Ging's face. "We would be ripped a part. She is nothing less of a monster."

"Yeah, that's what you've said in your report. I think I should get a closer look-"

"I would disagree with that." Kite walks closer, those green eyes getting sharper. "Ging you can not risk your life. You're needed here now more than ever." The amber eyed man is a bit startled. Kite shifts to his left foot. "And your serum is the only hope Gon has of keeping himself." Kite adds, his voice not as firm as he would have liked.

Ging beams like the sun. "So you do believe in my serum!" He gets out of his chair, patting Kite on the shoulder. "But you know, I'm sure that you guys could get by without me. You know how the serum works and everything about Project X. So I'm kind of wondering who really needs me here, because it's not the lab." Ging's smile turns devilish, leaning too close to Kite for comfort. He can feel his breath on his lips, his words setting his face on fire.

"Don't flatter yourself." Kite says with as much composure as he can. To get the upper hand, he says something that he knows will get Ging uncomfortable. "Gon has been asking about you. He wants to meet you."

That did it. Ging's face turns sour and he moves away from Kite. It looks like he's about to start grumbling.

"You should talk to him about Project X. You can explain more than me and Gon will listen more if you speak. I'm sure of it. He's excited about meeting you. You can't just hide from him."

"I've done it for like...fuck how old is he?" Ging rubs the back of his head. "...Anyway I've done it for a long time. I don't need to see him-"

"This time you don't have an excuse. Gon is project X so he's your duty. You need to do your assessment on him. You can't keep running from this forever." Kite smiles and it feels smug on his face. "Gon has caught up to you, not in the best of ways, but in a way that you can't just hide away."

"Ugh fine. Really, I'm in a top secret lab in the middle of nowhere and he's able to find me." Though he's clearly annoyed there's something that might be pride in his expression. "Ugh what am I going to say to him? It's just like...'hi yeah, it's me you know the guy who left you when you were a baby' It's not going to be fun."

"Am I hearing this? Is the famous Ging actually nervous?" Kite can't sniffle his laughter when Ging glares at him. "Maybe you're not as cold hearted as your reputation is saying. Are you feeling guilty for leaving him now?"

"I don't feel guilty. It's just gong to be really, really awkward. I'm sure i'm not going to be able to keep the cringe from off my face." Ging glares at Kite when he keeps smiling. "Don't you have something better to do than bothering me? As you can see i'm very busy."

"Busy?" Kite raises his eyebrow, looking over at his desk. It looks like a bunch of doodles everywhere.

"Yeah, Deadpool isn't going to draw himself."

"I thought your favorite was spider-man?" Kite muses.

" _Was_ is the key word here. Me and spidy just grew apart."

Kite finds his usually stoic face twitching into a smile. "I'll be off, doing my job. I think you should be doing yours _sir._ " Kite puts in for good measure before turning on his heel.

"I'm going to be doing work. I'll leave my master pieces here and go and see Illumi and Hisoka." Ging groans. Kite stops when Ging catches his arm. "I think you should come to my room later."

"Oh really?" Kite doesn't turn to face him but he feels his heart rate spike.

"Yeah." Kite can hear the smirk on his lips. Like he knows Kite will come. Like he's sure of it. It irritates him and he thinks he's just not going to show to spite him- Ging pulls his head over to the side and kisses him from behind. It's such a small taste that Kite's brain does a 180. Okay, he may be going to his room later.

"Get back to work." Ging hums as he breaks the kiss, moving to leave first. Kite licks his lips, readjusting himself before he answers in the most professional way possible as they leave his office.

"I will, Sir."

* * *

Around, and Around. Not too tight- that's too loose. No, it's too tight-

"Gon?" Gon tenses from his voice, looking up at Killua. He feels the haziness leave him when he looks into those blue eyes and he gains himself again. "You wrapped it enough. You cleaned every last wound with care. Your stitches are snug. It's good." Killua reassures, pulling Gon's arms away from his stomach that he was wrapping with bandages.

Not good enough. They're still there, under the bandages. The wounds he had caused. There's a part of him that hates it, hates himself. There's another part, a darker part that had taken pleasure at seeing all the marks he made on Killua's body-

"It's fine." Killua kisses him and that haze goes back, if only a little bit. "Don't make me bite you cause I will. You've been very gentle and kind. You even groomed me. So stop being all down."

"Okay." Gon tries to brighten up. Killua doesn't look very convinced. He gives him a flick to the forehead. "Ow-"

"I can keep flicking you all day if I need to. I'll be healed by tomorrow or at most the day after tomorrow."

"But-" Gon starts to protest but when Killua narrows his eyes, looking like he's about ready to flick him, Gon gives in. He chuckles, grabbing his wrist before he can do the blow. "Okay, Killua." he smiles, again being so grateful for having met Killua. Gon can't show any weakness. He has to be strong for him. The boy needs Gon. Just as much as Gon needs Killua. Gon needs to get stronger so he can stay by Killua's side, so he doesn't have to worry about hurting him.

"That's better." Killua grunts, reaching over to lick Gon's forehead instead. Its a weird feeling so Gon can't help to giggle. Killua gets closer, sliding up so he's sitting in Gon's lap, kissing him deeply. His lover has certainly been more affectionate. He does get like this after they have sex, so nice and open. Gon places kisses down Killua's neck, loving the way the boy leans his head back to expose more of his flesh to him. Killua purrs in approval as Gon leaves little love nips and sucks. He kisses over his jugular, he can feel his pulse-

It would be nice to taste his blood. He tastes so good. Gon makes a sound in the back of his throat he doesn't recognize as being human. It shocks him out of whatever state he was about to get in and he looks up at Killua.

"Calm down a bit." Killua offers. He doesn't seem afraid. He pulls away from Gon and sits in front of him, those blue eyes just staring at him intensely. Gon takes a few deep breathes, trying to not look at the veins in Killua's neck. His mouth is watering like he's hungry, physically hungry. It troubles Gon. It puts him on edge.

Killua is his love, he's the best- he's the best so that's why he would also taste the best. Killua would never be hurt again. Gon feels his lips twitch.

He covers his mouth.

"K-Killua i'm thinking some weird things. Maybe you should..." Gon doesn't feel right. All his thoughts are getting jumbled again and whenever that happens he hurts Killua.

"Gon, talk to me." Killua presses, getting closer to him.

"I think I want to-" _eat you._ Gon doesn't say it and when Killua grabs his face and forces Gon to look at him, he finds the thought is lost. Killua and Gon stay like this awhile, Killua just looking into his eyes, holding and stroking his face. After awhile, Gon gets his thoughts back together. This is _Killua_. He doesn't want to eat him. Is he nuts? Killua is everything. Those blue eyes mean the world to him. It hurts to see those eyes shake. Gon has made him tense. "...I'm okay Killua. Thank you."

That seed of resentment in his heart starts to gain nourishment.

"...You can talk to me about what's going on when you have these attacks Gon. I want to know what you're thinking, what you're going through." Killua says seriously, pulling away, his fingers lingering longer on his cheeks then they need to.

"I was just thinking some weird things..." Gon doesn't want to talk about it but when Killua looks at him expectantly, his tail waving around, Gon can't deny him. "I was thinking about...how you would taste and..." Gon can't make eye contact with him. "I don't want to eat you. I know that but I felt something else just then and I...I couldn't tell if it was my thoughts anymore. They get so jumbled. But I don't want to eat you. I don't want to hurt you. I love you, Killua. I need you." Gon looks up after this. Killua's pupils are blown out, as if they're soaking in everything he's said. He doesn't look surprised at all about the 'I want to eat you' part. No, his face had reacted at the end though. He's pink in that adorable way.

"You're eyes were getting black. I think whatever that part of Project X is makes you have those kinds of thoughts. If it's any consonance, I've thought about eating you too."

"You have?" Gon frowns.

"Yeah, before I wanted you as a mate. I thought it was an option. I could eat you and keep the home to myself. You look tasty enough. A lot of protein."

"I don't know if I like hearing how my lover almost wanted to eat me." Gon pouts.

"Oh, I did want to eat you. The hunger is still there. I just want to eat you in a different way." Killua smiles suggestively. Gon, despite everything, finds himself flushing. "It's instinct. I'm flattered that you would think I'd be delicious. I think you would be tasty as well."

"Thanks?" Gon chuckles at the serous look on Killua's face. "Well I guess at least I'm not the only one who's thought about eating the other huh?"

"Nope. And just like me, you're able to control it. You had that hunger and you were able to come out of it. The black has gone back." Killua smiles when Gon seems to light up.

"Maybe I'm getting more power over it?" Gon chimes, hopeful.

"Could be. Just do what you did this time when it happens again."

"I didn't do anything though. All I did was look into your eyes and..." Gon thinks about it. "Killua, I think you're my strength."

"H-Huh?"

"I think you're what's keeping me from getting lost. Every time I look at you I can feel my hazy mind clear up. When I get messed up, it has to be you that gets me back together." Gon smiles at Killua, seeing how those blue eyes are staring at him with such light. "You're amazing."

"I'm not doing anything. Stop being embarrassing." Killua snaps, turning his head away like that could hide the small smile on his lips or his purring.

"It's the truth." Killua doesn't say anything, Gon yawns. "You want to lay down? I'm still tired."

"Yeah we can lay down-" Killua's ears perk up before he reaches under the blankets and pulls out a phone. "I almost forgot. This woman came and gave me this phone so you could talk to Leorio and Kurapika. She said it only lasts for 30 minutes and you can't talk about the lab or anything."

Gon, who was getting comfortable in the bed, freezes at what Killua says. He zones in on the phone. He can use it to call Kurapika and Leorio. 30 minutes. No talking about the lab. It's all drilled into Gon's mind before he thinks about what this really means.

Kurapika and Leorio...He really gets to talk to them. It took a minute to recall their names but all the worry hits Gon quickly. He needs to talk to them, needs to tell them he's okay.

Gon takes the phone from Killua's hand. Once the phone is in his palm, he's dialing the number. Killua lays his head on his shoulder, and with that warmth, Gon stops feeling so cold.

The ringing is making Gon anxious. What if they don't answer? What if they moved? Gon is sure they wouldn't have moved so soon would they?-

" _Hello?"_ Gon was not prepared for the worn out voice of Kurapika that answer the phone. Gon opens his mouth, and closes it. _"Hello?"_ Kurapika tries again, he's impatient. Gon is sure he will hang up if he doesn't say anything. Gon swallows.

"Kurapika." Gon gets out.

The line goes quiet.

* * *

 **Another chapter! Thank you for your reviews and all the support. I don't think i'm going to respond to reviews this time. I don't feel like it lol.**

 **Til next time:)**


	20. Chapter 20

The silence breaks with a fluttery intake of breath.

" _G-Gon?"_ Kurapika whispers with uncertainty, like if he spoke too loud Gon would no longer be on the other line.

"Kurapika..." Gon repeats his name again, not sure where to start. His throat tightens when he hears Kurapika sob.

" _Oh my god, Gon is that really you?!"_ Kurapika's breathing is uneven, emotion laced deep with every word spoken.

"It's me...Don't cry Kurapika." Gon says softly, his chest constricting from hearing his friend like this. "I'm sorry." He means it. He can't imagine what Kurapika and Leorio have been through. He's not sure what they thought happen to him but by Kurapika's teary response, Gon is sure they thought he was dead or missing.

" _Gon!"_ Kurapika shouts. _"Leorio! Leorio it's Gon!"_ He screams, his voice breaking at the end.

" _What?!"_ Gon can hear Leorio's frantic voice and soon it's closer. _"Gon?!"_

"It's me." Gon is grateful when Killua nuzzles his head against his shoulder. It's comforting, feeling his soft hair on his bare skin. Those blue eyes are looking at him intently, watching Gon's every facial expression. Gon messes with the phone, glad when he sees a speaker option. Now Killua will be able to hear them too.

" _It's really you..."_ Kurapika still sounds like he doesn't have it together.

" _What the hell happened to you?!"_ Leorio shouts. _"Where are you right now? We thought you were dead!"_

"...I can't tell you where I'm at right now." Gon scratches behind Killua's ears, needing something to do with his hands. "I'm sorry I had you two worried about me. I'm okay...I called to let you guys know that-"

" _Why can't you tell us?"_ Leorio sounds like he's frowning. _"...What's going on Gon?"_

" _I came over and I saw that your door was torn off the wall...there was blood on the floor. You don't just disappear Gon. You're not okay."_ Kurapika says calmly, he's not sobbing anymore. _"The cops...We called them right away...and they cleaned your apartment up. They ruled it a missing person without even looking."_

"I...I can't tell you guys anything. I want to but I can't. I don't have very long, only 30 minutes." Gon hears the line go silent. "I want to hear about how you two been doing. How's work Kurapika? How's school Leorio?"

" _Gon don't do that...What the fuck is going on?"_ Leorio's voice shakes.

" _Work is okay. It's been quieter without you around. They haven't stopped asking about you either. It's been so long since we've spoken. I'll listen to anything you have to say carefully Gon."_ Kurapika's words are stiff. To anyone else it may sound like the blonde is speaking normal but Gon can tell something is up. Is Kurapika trying to hint to something? Leorio has seemed to calm down too.

Gon knows what Kurapika is trying to do. He wants him to give hints, to try to give him information without them knowing. Gon isn't sure that's possible. Killua looks at Gon and shakes his head. He doesn't think so either.

"I understand but there's nothing that can change. Kurapika, Leorio...trust me." Gon urges, knowing his friends want nothing more than to help him, to save him from whatever fate he may be sealed in. They don't know how complicated it is. "This won't be the last time I talk to you. I'll try to get more time. Leorio tell me about school."

There's no response for a while. Soon Leorio takes a deep breath and answers. _"Gon there has to be something, anything."_ He's still begging for a way. _"I'm scared. Scared for you. A lot of weird shit has happened since you've been gone...and I just thought...it's been..."_ He trails off.

"What else has happened?" Gon frowns.

" _Recently there was an announcement that no one is to leave this area. They have military men and tanks protecting the boarders. Even if they weren't there, the dome would keep anyone from leaving."_ Kurapika answers. _"Everyone has gone into a panic. They were sad when they thought you were gone...but once the dome came down, it's been hectic. Crime has gone up. You can't walk out of the house without a gun or some way to protect yourself. The military stays close to the dome and you can't so much as approach them without worrying they will shoot. Women and children have been taken to a more safer area so all that's left is all the men."_

"What?" Gon's eyes widen and he glances over at Killua. The boy's tail is flicking. He looks like he has something to say. When Killua doesn't speak it even when Gon locks eyes with him, he glances at the phone. "A dome? What is going on there?" Did the government do this to keep the ants in? Gon swallows, feeling uneasy about Kurapika and Leorio being in such a dangerous place.

" _That's what I want to know."_ Leorio growls. _"The government thinks they can do anything they want...people are getting hurt here! Our classes have stopped, everything has been paused. Most are too afraid to leave their homes. And to top it off, there's something out there."_

"Something out there?" Gon doesn't like where this is going. Killua licks his shoulder, his tail rubbing against his lower back.

" _Yes. I'm sure of it. There's a reason they put this dome on us. I'm pretty sure they're trying to keep something in. I was looking outside of the window to watch the area...there was this guy walking and in a blink of an eye he was gone. Nothing but a blood stain left where he was. I saw a glimpse of a tail..."_

"Leorio, Kurapika, try to stay inside as much as you can." Gon grips his fist, feeling panicked...that could have easily been his friends as blood stains on the ground.

" _We are."_ Leorio sounds grim. _"We're getting by."_

" _Gon I'm just so happy to hear your voice."_ Kurapika speaks again. _"This dome hasn't been as devastating as your disappearance to us. It was so sudden and...but since you're talking to us, it means you're alive. I just hope you are in a safer place than we are."_

"I am." Gon thinks the lab with Kite is much safer than under that dome. "Don't worry about me anymore. I'm okay...I missed you both."

" _We missed you too."_ Kurapika's voice is soft.

" _We're going to get out of this somehow."_ Leorio is gritting his teeth, Gon can hear it though the phone. _"We're going to get you back and you're going to be my best man at the wedding, you hear me Gon? So we'll stay alive here but you have to stay alive too!"_ He yells.

Gon smiles. He's not aware of how sad it looks, or how it gets Killua's ears to flatten. Ah, the wedding. The plans he had for the future. Gon touches under his eye gently. Will he ever be able to do such a thing like this? The eyes he has now, anyone can see they're not human.

Killua grips his arm.

Gon closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. "Yeah. That's a promise. So keep safe while I'm gone." Gon opens them back up, and for some reason he can picture Kurapika and Leorio holding each other right now, just as he wraps his arm around Killua's waist, holding him close for comfort.

" _It's a promise."_ They both say firmly.

" _It's almost been thirty minutes."_ Kurapika says regrettably after awhile of talking about how they all wanted to go to that ice cream shop together when they meet up and plans for the future they hope to come.

"Yeah I know...I'll try to get more time to talk to you guys." Gon moves his feet restlessly.

" _Gon write down my cell phone number."_ Kurapika urges. Killua gets up silently and runs over to the dresser. He pulls down the last one and takes out a note book that has a pen attached. He hands it to Gon.

"Okay i'm ready to write it down."

Kurapika tells him his cell phone number, just as Gon finishes writing it down, the phone makes a beep before the line goes dead.

"It looks like the government placed a dome around them to keep the ants in. I doubt they could hold the royals though. If Meruem wanted to leave, he could. Really all they are containing is the lesser ants." Killua's eyes widen when Gon grips the phone, it breaking in his strong hold.

"They're in danger...I wanted to talk to them more..." Gon mumbles to himself, black and gold overtaking the amber.

Killua doesn't know what to say. So he lies. "If they stay inside, they should be fine." He doubts those humans will make it out alive. He won't say that to Gon. Gon cares for them but Killua won't let Gon become broken because of those human's death. He won't let anything else hurt him. "They promised right?"

"Yeah..." Gon settles down, the amber coming back when Killua sits next to him, wrapping his arms around his waist. "They sounded better once we got talking. I think it lifted their spirits a bit." Gon drops the broken phone on the bed. "I want to ask Kite about the dome."

"You can ask him about that tomorrow." Killua pushes Gon gently down on the bed. "You need to go to sleep. Your eyes have bags. Besides, you still owe me a hair rub before we sleep." Killua moves to turn off the lights before hoping in bed with him. Gon yawns...he does feel exhausted. Killua gets snuggled against his bare chest, and it feels so warm.

He lets out a sigh as he wraps his arms around Killua, stroking the small of his back, loving the soft skin and even the rough parts from his scars. The boy purrs instantly. The vibrating is comforting and Gon finds his eyes slip shut easily. He brushes his finger tips up Killua's spine to tangle them in the strands of soft hair on the back of his head.

Gon can feel his pulse, he can smell the quickening of blood, how Killua's vessels are dilating. He can hear him swallow, and hear his heart beat with more force. Gon licks his lips, feeling that strange feeling inside of himself but he ignores it.

Gon is tired so he won't do much more than this. Killua is hurt too...Gon scratches behind Killua's ear. "I love you Killu..." Gon mumbles sleepily.

Gon heard the way Killua's heart skipped a beat. He smelt the flutter in his pulse and the burst of hormones that just soaked his flesh. Gon can feel the heat in his face that's in his chest and the tightening of his grip on him.

Gon finds a smile coming to his lips. Though Killua doesn't say anything to him, he doesn't have to. He can taste, smell, hear and see what his words have done to Killua now.

"You're the best...so pretty...I want to always hold you." Gon keeps it coming, his chest tightening at how much Killua is responding. He's starting to fidget in his hold and his purring has become so loud. "Mm Killua, you smell so good. So happy." Gon can't help to giggle when Killua peeks up at him, his face so red but he's able to glare.

"S-Shut up." He grumbles but there's a small pulling at his lips so he quickly shoves his head in Gon's chest. "You've made it up to me so you don't have to say anymore."

Gon chuckles, it ending in a yawn. He pulls Killua close, putting his nose in his hair and takes a deep breath. His scent and warmth lure him away...

Gon falls asleep feeling like he's back at his home, in his bed, with Killua cuddled up next to him. In moments like these...

Gon feels human.

* * *

Killua isn't able to fall asleep as well as he wanted to. He's not able to relax. Even though he's wrapped up in Gon's strong arms, feeling his breath on his face, Killua can not rest like he was able to back in his apartment. There's a few reasons for that.

Killua can sense that ant outside of their room. He doesn't want to put his guard down. Killua wouldn't put it past Pitou to walk in here and try something when they're at their most vulnerable. Even if the ant wasn't outside of their door, they are in a government lab again and Gon is about to get something done to him.

The dome thing has been bothering him too. Killua's ears go back, he keeps his eyes shut, listening to Gon's heartbeat to calm himself. As Killua told Gon, that dome won't hold back Meruem or any of the royals. It doesn't solve the humans problems. Not at all. If anything the Dome is to buy time. For what? Killua doesn't know.

His sister is under that dome with those ants. The humans have technology that they could be planning on using. Meruem must sense this though, he wouldn't just stay in one place would he? He would want to protect Komugi and in turn, Alluka.

Killua's ears twitch when Gon mumbles something in his sleep. He glances up at Gon, all that anxiousness gets washed away when he sees a small smile on those lips and that peaceful expression. Killua reaches out, brushing a strand of hair away from Gon's forehead, soaking in those features that he's been staring at intently now for some time.

Killua didn't make a mistake leaving Alluka with Meruem. He won't think of it like that. The king is smart. Killua just needs to focus on getting Gon fixed then getting back to Alluka. Then they can leave like they've been planning...or stay if Meruem ends up ruling the human race. Which he may possibly do.

Killua leans in, brushing his lips against Gon's. It feels so good. Just the simple gesture humans do. The brushing of lips. Killua has come to really enjoy it. He could stay curled up against Gon for days and not grow tired of it.

Watching Gon sleep was his past time even before they were mates. At first it was to make sure Gon didn't try anything. Then as Killua started to trust Gon, it was simply because he wanted to see Gon asleep. He wanted to see those soft expressions and wanted to hear the words he would mumble in his sleep.

It puts him at ease. Right now, he's staring at Gon. This is his Gon. Not project X. It's his mate. Killua can tell by that derpy smile he has on his lips. He can tell by the drool that's on the side of his face. He wants to stay like this for awhile.

Gon is safe in bed with him. He's safe in this moment.

Killua doesn't want to think of what they're going to do to Gon. They're going to hurt his mate. He feels it. Killua touches Gon's cheek, feeling the soft flesh. He remembers when Gon was no more than a fly to him. He could have killed Gon so easily when they first met. Killua could have ate him, and stayed in his home.

Humans are very weak creatures. Gon was so fragile. Killua watched the cold, how it made him flush and shiver. He watched how long it took for Gon to heal even the smallest scratches Killua would make on him. He witness how much sleep was needed and how lonely humans can be.

Even though Gon isn't human, Killua still looks at him as fragile. He's worried that something he can't predict or stop will break him. Now it's not Gon's body he has to worry about. It's his mind. His sanity.

Gon is powerful now. Stronger than Killua could ever be. But there's still something very breakable, something inside him that's cracking and giving way.

If Killua is honest with himself, that is what he's most afraid of.

Gon's eyes suddenly snap open and his body stiffens. Killua can't help to jump when Gon sits up, straight as a board and waits there with big, gold orbs. "Gon?" Killua sits up in bed, his ears twitching. He ignores how his stomach twists when Gon doesn't even give him a glance. Those gold eyes are his enemy. "Whats-" Killua whips his head towards the door, picking up footsteps. Soon after the double doors open.

Standing there is Kite with his father. As soon as he sees Kite, Killua remember something. He had given Gon an order to be up at a certain time. Killua glances at the clock and growls. The Gold right now is Kite's fault then.

"Your body listens to orders even when it was given awhile back." Kite writes something on a clip board. Killua's father is hovering around the door near Pitou who is peaking into the room with those big pupils of hers.

"Did you really have to do that? I could have woken him up normally." Killua sends Kite a look. Gon might be okay with him but Killua isn't sure if he has his mate's best interest. Kite is looking at Gon as an experiment. He's writing on a clip board like all those scientists do. He's staring, analyzing Gon...

The anger that boils up inside Killua is not shown on his face.

"I am just assessing him. It's necessary to see what we're working with."Kite watches as Killua wraps his arms around Gon. After a few kisses to the shoulder, and mutters of his name, the raven haired male starts to come back. Gold slowly fades till there's amber once again. "Killua, it seems you are able to bring Gon back easily."

Gon rubs his head, blinking when he notices Kite in his room. "I was asleep and..." Gon looks at the clock, his eyes widening. "Wow I slept a long time."

"You needed your rest." Kite takes a step closer. "I'm here to take you to our operating room. I will explain everything in detail there before we get started. If you have any questions be free to ask." Kite's green eyes slowly fall on Killua when the two get out of bed. "Silva told me you were injured but not too badly." Kite looks at Gon who tenses at his gaze.

Killua hisses and gets in front of him, daring Kite to say anything that would upset him more. Killua just worked Gon up, he won't let Kite tear him back down again over something so small. "Do you remember hurting him?"

"I don't." Gon admits, fiddling with his fingers. "I remember a haze and then when I came too...Killua was hurt. I knew I had did it though."

"I see. Were you able to get out of the haze by yourself? Or did you bring him back Killua? If so, how did you do it?" Kite questions.

"Gon came back himself." Killua thinks about it. He flushes when he remembers how Gon thrust his load inside him before passing out on top of him. When Gon woke up, he was back to normal.

"Okay." Kite catches the slight change in Killua but doesn't say anything. He looks at Gon. "Do you remember how you got out of the haze?"

"No not at all. I think it just...went away." Gon frowns.

"So it's a off and on kind of thing. Killua isn't always able to bring you out of it either. Am I correct in saying these things?"

Gon and Killua look at each other before looking at Kite. "I think so. The haze is constantly there. Sometimes a lot, sometimes a little. Killua helps make it go away but when I get really bad I don't snap out of it...and I hurt Killua."Gon grips his fist. "I don't want to hurt him anymore but I don't want to be away from him. When you fix me today...I won't get like this anymore right? I won't lose it and hurt him?"

"That is what we are hoping for, yes. But to help you, I think I can install a warning device inside your skin. You said you can feel the haze but I'm sure you can't feel when it's just going to take you over. We have a device that will warm up when the neurotransmitters in your brain are going crazy. Most likely this will mean you are about to lose control and that you should step away from Killua or anyone else you're around to calm down."

"Okay...I want that then."Gon nods his head, those amber eyes burning with determination. "I want Killua to be safe with me." He reaches over and Grabs Killua's hand. The younger feels warm just from Gon's fingers interlacing with his.

Kite nods, looking at their hands before locking eyes with Gon. "Have you two engaged in sexual intercourse?"'

Gon's cheeks flush slightly but he nods. Killua doesn't get flustered about it. He nods his head, those blue eyes never leaving Kite's. Killua is a bit self conscious that his father is in the room but he already knows Gon is his mate. Killua is sure his whole family could smell Gon on him and his seed.

"Did you use the condoms I left you?" When Gon nods, Kite writes something down. "When ever you are to be going inside of Killua, you must wear a condom. Your semen is toxic and so is your blood. That means Killua shouldn't be swallowing it either." Kite is very blunt. His face hasn't changed one bit.

"It's toxic?" Gon's eyes widen. "But...But what does that mean?What about my spit? I've been kissing Killua!-" Gon starts to get panicked.

"If it's in your spit, it's not enough to damage Killua. Blood and semen are the biggest concerns."

"What would happen if I..." Gon blushes. "What would happen if Killua drank my blood?" He squeezes Killua's hand. Killua squeezes back harder.

"If Killua were to drink your blood or if you were to get semen inside of him, he would most likely get very sick. A drop of your blood is enough to kill 5 elephants. Same goes with your semen. Of course Killua has been trained to deal with poisons since birth so it would most likely not kill him. Still, you want to be safe."

"Yes of course!" Gon looks pale. Killua frowns, his tail subconsciously rubbing up against Gon's back to comfort him. "But condoms break all the time! Should we not have sex-"

Killua hisses. "Yes, we should have sex." Killua needs that contact with Gon. Gon looks at a lost when Killua keeps glaring at him.

"Killua is right. You should still have sex. You can't hold any of that in or it could cause you problems. As project X your libido has increased incredibly. It is possible that the condom will break so that is why we've made an antidote. It's in the third dresser draw where the condoms were. Who ever gets infected just inject them with that and it should be fine."

"Okay."Gon lets out a sigh of relief. "So there's an antidote...geez everything about me is dangerous now. I'm so glad you grabbed that condom Killua." Gon puts a hand against his heart.

"Yeah but either way Gon, I'm confident in my immunity to poison." Killua gets closer. "so don't get worried about me. Not mating with me would be the crueler option." He's blunt but he has to get it across. He couldn't stand it if Gon pushed him away. He won't say it out loud but having Gon inside of him is the best feeling. He feels full, complete. Safe even.

"Okay..." Gon rubs the back of his head. He doesn't avert his gaze even though Killua's stare is intense. "But-"

"We should be going to the treatment area." Kite glances at the time. He clicks his pen three times. Silva's ears twitch before he moves closer to Pitou. The ant regards him but she doesn't step back. "If you would follow me Gon, we have much to do."

Gon gets out of bed, happy he had put on some clothes after he got out of the shower yesterday. He walks over to the dresser, picking out a shirt and pants to wear...Killua is more interested in those eyes that have too much gold for his liking still.

Killua stands up, the boxers he put on will have to be enough right now. He keeps close to Gon, those piercing blue eyes watching Pitou and Kite carefully. He doesn't trust either of them.

"Step aside." Silva speaks, Pitou's ears twitch and she regards him again. This time those pupils get a bit bigger. They stare at each other for a long time, Killua's tail swishes behind him in his anxiousness. Will she attack?

"Of course." Pitou moves back, allowing Silva to walk out followed by Kite. Killua keeps in front of Gon as they walk out of the room. "I just want to be clear. What are you about to do to Gon?"

Killua glances at Kite for his response.

"What we are trying to do is give Gon more control. We hope that we can preserve Gon and weaken project X so that Gon can survive."

"So once you're finish with this, then Gon is fixed and I can take him back to the king, is that right?" Pitou presses, walking with them when Kite started walking down the hallway.

"Yes, after the treatment is done. But it will take a few of these to work. You must be patient."

"A few?" Killua frowns at that. Pitou's ears have flatten. "How many is a few? And what do these treatments consist of?"

"I say a few because i'm not sure how many treatments it will take before Gon is stable and able to live on his own. I was going to go in detail about the treatment once we got to the room but I can explain it now. Gon will be put into a machine, this machine will be our way of recoding project X inside of Gon. It will make it so that orders have no power over Gon and hopefully we can also lower it's affects on Gon."

"A machine? How does it work?" Pitou asked the question that was on Killua's mind.

"The machine will drill five small holes through Gon's skull. Five pieces will be placed inside and shock waves will-"

"You're going to drill in his skull?" Killua cuts him off, his eyes widening. He feels a growl in the back of this throat. "I won't allow that-"

"It is the only way to fix him."

"You can't just-"

"Killua." Killua stops. He closes his mouth when he sees Gon giving him this look. This powerful look like Killua is the one who needs to be protected and comforted. "It'll be okay. Kite knows what he's doing. I heal pretty fast with this body anyway!" Gon smiles, those amber orbs determined. "I want to do this. I want to get better."

Killua swallows thickly, he can hear his heart beating in his ears. He doesn't want to agree to this. They're going to hurt Gon. They're going to cause him more pain. Killua closes his eyes tightly when Gon leans in and kisses him on the cheek. Such a sweet action. Killua yearns to just pick up his mate and run but he can't and he won't.

He can't run anymore.

"You may stay in your room if you want. This treatment isn't going to be pretty. If you can not handle it I suggest that you stay here-"

"No. I'm going to be there." Killua finds his voice, glaring at Kite for even suggesting such a thing. Killua isn't leaving Gon's side. He's not letting him out of his sight. If Gon is going to go through this, he needs support. Killua can do that much.

"I'm bored here." Pitou cuts into the conversation, her ears back. " I want to get back to the king as soon as possible. Isn't there a way you can speed this up? Maybe do more than one treatment a day-"

"That would most certainly kill him. The treatments must be spaced out. You can not see your king but would you like to speak with him? We can lend you some of our equipment to talk to lab five which is where we assume your king still is."

"I want this equipment then." Her ears perk up. "After the treatment I want to call him-"

"You can do so now. Silva, lead her to our communication room-" Pitou looks like she's about to protest so Kite adds. "I can only have one other person in the treatment room."

"And that's going to be me." Killua gives her a dark look. The ant stares at him a moment. She's weighting her options. She nods.

"Okay. I'll go now. Just know, if you're lying to me..." Those red eyes get darker and crazed, her lips twisting in a sharp grin. "I will have run ripping your body piece by piece." She looks at Silva, her tail twitching. "Show me to this communication room. I want to speak with the king." she orders. Silva gives Kite a glance before turning.

"This way." Killua will always be amazed by his father. He shows no ounce of fear. None at all. But Killua is sure he is scared. Pitou is death as a being. She is strong, much stronger than them. Killua's father is so much stronger than him but even his father would be no match for Pitou.

It's very unsettling.

Killua can sense that his mother is near by as well. They brought back up but it's useless. That ant is a monster.

"This way. We're getting behind schedule."Kite starts to walk down the hallway again, Gon following him eagerly.

"So you're not sure how many treatments it will take?" Gon asks just as Killua catches up so he's walking right next to him.

"No I'm not sure. I may be able to tell you after this session." Kite is speed walking. They have to walk full speed just to keep up.

"...I have another question to ask you." Gon's eyebrows furrow, the gold specks growing. "I didn't want to ask with the ant around-"

"Wait till we get in the room." Kite cuts off quickly. Gon doesn't speak anymore. Killua is getting more pensive the closer they get to these double doors labeled 'treatment'. The steel the doors are made out of looks so cold. The boy doesn't really want Gon to go in there but what else can they do?

They walk through the double doors. The room is filled with scientists, all of them rushing around talking to each other. They all stop what they're doing and look at Gon when he comes in. The way their eyes light up in excitement makes Killua feel sick. If their stares didn't make him ill, the 'machine' would.

It's a chair in the middle of the room with restraints and a halo of drills that comes down like a hat...it looks like a torture device.

"Killua you're shaking." The boy tenses when Gon wraps his arms around him. He wasn't aware that he was shaking but he finds his muscles loosening in the other man's old. "It's going to be fine. I know I'll be okay." Gon whispers against his ear, playing with the strands of hair on the back of his head.

Killua hugs Gon painfully tight. He doesn't have to comfort him. He shouldn't have to but Killua's heart responds. It's beating so fast because he knows that this is what love feels like. Gon's love is both selfish and selfless. Killua wouldn't have him any other way.

"What was the question you wanted to ask me?" Kite asks, those green eyes may have soften from seeing the exchange but no one can be sure.

"I want to have more time to talk to my friends Kurapika and Leorio. Can I have it?" Gon locks eyes with Kite.

"Yes, I can get you more time. Is that all?" Kite raises his eyebrow.

"...They told me that the government has trapped them in with a dome." Gon's eyes become close to gold as he searches Kite's expression. Killua doesn't have to be project X to see that Kite has gone poker face. "Why?"

"The dome is to keep the ants in. We don't want them to spread out. It could mean the destruction of the human race."

"That dome won't hold back the king. You have to have something else planned then just containment." Killua's tail flicks when those stoney eyes fall on him.

"...for right now, we don't have a set plan of action. It's just containment. I will speak more to you about our plans after this treatment succeeds. I must tell you that this treatment has a 40% chance that you will die during it."

"40%?" Killua blanches. "That's too high-" He can feel that panic start up, the tightening of he chest and throat.

"But there's 60% I won't die." Gon gives him a thumbs up. Killua wants to smack him so he does. "Ow!-"

"Idiot don't take this so lightly-"

"If Gon does not do the treatment, he will end up loosing himself. He will become a beast that won't remember anyone he cares about. If not that, his body will shut down from the added stress from fighting project X. This treatment is his only chance." Kite is blunt. He has to be to get it across to Gon's overprotective mate.

"...Damn it." Killua's fingers twitch, glancing over at the machine that looks like a death trap. 40% chance that Gon will die, that he'll lose his light. But if they don't do this, Killua will lose Gon for sure. He feels like he's been backed in a corner, with no choice but to trust these humans with his mate.

"We need to do it soon. Everything has been set up. Please Gon, if you could have a seat." Kite moves out of the way, looking towards the chair.

Gon leans in and gives Killua a kiss. Those amber eyes haven't lost their shine. "It'll be fine. Stay with me. I want to see you." Gon squeezes his hands. Killua nods his head. He'll always stay by him.

The boy feels uneasy again when Gon lets go of him to go sit in the chair. Killua gets closer when the humans start strapping him in, making the restraints tight. They put some sort of monitor on Gon's chest and soon the machine starts beeping to indicate his heartbeat. There's also a screen that shows a human body that's outlined in green.

"I'm going to need you to step away Killua. Everyone needs to be away from him when we do this treatment." Killua gives Kite a glare but he reluctantly moves away from Gon, his eyes never leaving him.

Kite gets behind this computer and presses a button. The halo lowers on Gon, covering half of Gon's face from view. He can see his lips. "Wait." Killua looks over at Kite. "You haven't given him any pain medication." He narrows his eyes at the way Kite shakes his head.

"I'm afraid we can't give him any pain medication. We don't want him to be sedated. It could cause more problems with this treatment. We will try to be as fast as possible." Kite glances at Gon. "This will be the worse part. So bare with me..." Kite's finger hesitates over the button before he presses it in.

Killua was wrong when he called hell riding in the buss with his family. No, that would be too kind. This is what hell looks like.

Gon's screams pierce through the walls and Killua's ears, making his stomach churn and his heart leap. The sound of the drills and the bones being penetrated is horrid. Gon had tried to hold back his screams, Killua saw how he bit his lip till there was blood. He's struggling against his restraints.

"Gon!" Killua cries out, his blood pumping, wanting to take action. He wants to rip him from that chair and hold him close. Killua never wants to hear those screams.

"Don't get near him! It's almost finished, you go near him you will ruin everything." Kite shouts over the screams, frantically typing something into the computer. Just when Kite says this, something more terrifying then the screams happen.

They stop. The monitor has stopped beeping. Gon's body has gone limp.

Killua just stares, the noises around him disappearing. He's frozen. He can't do anything. When it finally hits him Killua screams at the top of his lungs. _"GON!"_ He keeps saying his name as if that would change what he's seeing right now.

"Bring him back!" Kite snaps. The scientists come over with a defibrillator, putting it over Gon's chest.

"Clear!"

They shock him. The monitor starts to beat again, and Gon goes back to screaming. It's like he never stopped. Killua feels relief wash over him, those screams telling him that Gon is still alive and fighting.

"Hurry the fuck up!" Killua growls at Kite. The man is typing something a mile a minute.

"Sir his body is starting to fail!" A man yells, the image of the human body is now flashing red.

"I'm almost..." Kite is sweating. He types the last piece of information before pressing a green button. Just like that Gon's screaming stops and he goes limp. His monitor is still beating. "...It's done."

The halo moves off of Gon's head. Killua watches as the holes in his skull start to heal before his very eyes. He runs over and rips the restrains off of Gon. The man falls forward limply, completely out cold. The boy hugs his body tightly, rejoicing in the sound of his heart beating.

"...It will be awhile till he wakes up. Please take care of him till then. Let him rest in bed. We will see if this treatment has helped him any when he wakes up." Kite watches as Killua picks Gon up, putting him on his back. He holds him up by the back of his legs, Gon's limp weight against his shoulders.

Killua's eyes have become dark and glossy. They look at Kite. He doesn't take a step back but it's a look he knows. A look filled with blood lust. Killua wants to kill everyone here for almost taking away his Gon. He wants to make them scream like Gon was screaming.

...But he will control himself. Gon needs him now.

Killua walks out of the room, not feeling himself. He doesn't want Gon to have to go through anymore of those treatments. His ears twitch, glancing over and growling when he sensed him.

Hisoka is waiting for him, his arms crossed. He doesn't look pleased, those yellow eyes narrowed. "They almost killed him." Surely he heard Gon's screams from out here. He also heard them stop and Killua's screams of angst.

He doesn't respond to him. He doesn't want to talk to Hisoka about it. Killua starts walking back to their room. He can hear Hisoka is following behind them. If he follows him to their room, once he puts down Gon, he'll rip his fucking throat out once and for all.

Killua is not in the mood.

"Such anger. So blood thirsty. I love it." Hisoka smirks when they get to the room. He watches as Killua places Gon down gently, tucking him in. His fingers brush against Gon's cheek. "Killing the humans or me won't help him." Hisoka's smirk falls, his tail flicking. "Not yet anyway." Those yellow eyes linger on Gon and Killua feels himself bristle.

"Step into this room and I'll kill you." Killua threatens, his pupils getting bigger.

"I have no doubt you would." Hisoka smirks. "But I'm going to say my piece before I leave. Under the orders of your father, Milluki hacked into their computer system. They haven't put too much in but from what he got out of it, the humans are planning more with Gon then they are admitting." Hisoka walks into the room even though Killua had warned him but he doesn't do anything. Hisoka is moving closer to give him information. He moves so he's right next to Killua's ear. He whispers. "They plan on using him to kill the ants."

Killua's eyes widen. Not for the first time he freezes.

"What?" Killua moves away to lock with gleaming yellow. "Gon can't go against the ants...They're not planning on letting Gon go are they? Are they even treating him?!" Killua's body trembles with rage.

"I believe in a sense they are treating him but they are doing it for their benefit. We will see if it's to Gon's benefit when he awakes." Hisoka glances at Gon's pale face. His tail flicks. "But if not, I think I can have some fun killing everyone here."

"You? All those fuckers are mine." Killua's teeth grow sharper, his breathing uneven.

"Though I'd like to see you in action, I would wait. See what they've done to Gon and when kite comes back, question him. If he doesn't want to talk...well you have ways of making him talk." Hisoka's lips are twisted up. "Ohh I can join in. I feel like participating in team work."

"I don't need your help." Killua glares at Hisoka. "You piss me off. What do you want? I'm tried of you going back and forth. Just stay away from Gon."

"I can't stay away from such a man. He's peaked my interest. You can't do this all on your own so I'm going to help. I wouldn't want my little one to fall." Hisoka turns and walks towards the door, his hips swaying too much for Killua's liking.

"He's not yours." Killua snarls, his tail puffing up when Hisoka chuckles darkly.

"Not yet." Hisoka licks his lips. He walks out like that, leaving Killua pissed.

Killua takes deep breathes to calm himself but he can't. Those fucking humans...they're planning on using Gon to fight those ants...That's insane. Now he's concerned about what that treatment really did. He's tried of humans. They're so sneaky, only caring about themselves.

Killua swallows. If Pitou were to find out what the humans are planning...she would kill Gon without hesitance.

Killua gets into bed with Gon, pulling his limp body against him. He curls his body over top of him in a protective manner. He won't let Pitou hurt him. He won't let those scientist do as they please. Killua touches under Gon's eye, his chest hurting. Killua can feel that his face is red from how upset he is. His blood pressure high.

Killua closes his eyes. He sees those amber eyes that weren't tainted with gold or black. He sees Gon's smile as he bandaged up the small white cat he had found on the street. Those soft words spoken to a stray.

That day Gon had saved him.

Killua holds Gon closer. He won't cry though he wants to. He is going to protect Gon. He's going to save him just like Gon saved him.

"Don't do that to me again..." Killua chides to death ears.

He never stops listening to Gon's heart beating.

* * *

"You're doing good Alluka." Komugi smiles gently when Alluka makes a huff of annoyance when the blind women took her spy.

"I don't feel like I'm doing good. I'm still confused about how to play but I'm sure I'm not suppose to lose the pieces." Alluka pouts at her five pieces left standing.

"It's your first time. You'll get better. It took me awhile to be this good." Komugi encourages, moving her cannon up. Alluka looks at her options, not seeing many and decides to just move her cannon up as well, telling Komugi verbally where she moved it.

It's been a couple of days since Killua and Gon left. She misses them. It's not like it's bad here. Komugi is nice but Alluka hasn't been able to see her much. When the king spends time with her, he likes to have her all to himself. Mainly Alluka has been in her room drawing and thinking about how her family is doing.

"Is something wrong Alluka?" The girl in question perks her ears up, looking up at Komugi who is staring in her direction. "You've been pretty quiet."

"I was just thinking..." Alluka plays with the dress that Gon had gotten her. She hasn't taken it off. She doesn't want to.

"About your brother and Gon?"

"Yes. I miss them." Alluka's ears flatten as she stares at the three pieces she has left. Komugi is slowly creeping up on her. It's a battle that can't be won. Soon Komugi takes the two and there's only one left standing. All alone. " I've lost."

"I miss them too. Would you like to play again? I can show you some tactics." Komugi's smile is so soft and nice.

"I don't think I want to play more today. Maybe tomorrow. I think I want to draw. Would you like to draw with me?"

"Sure-" Komugi starts to put away the game just as the doors to her room open. Meruem walks in, filled with the presence of royalty and power. Those red eyes glance at the game before looking at Komugi longer than he needs to.

"The queen will keep me company. You are dismissed." Those red eyes look at Alluka and she nods her head.

"I'll see you tomorrow Alluka and I'll draw with you." Komugi stands up, wrapping her arms around Alluka to hug her. Alluka purrs, but she doesn't linger too long in Komugi's arms. The king is watching.

"Sounds fun." She beams.

"Pouf will escort you to your room." Meruem walks into the room, taking his place by Komugi's side, his tail wrapping around her waist and pulling her close. Komugi's cheeks get flushed but those white eyes light up in a way that only the king can do.

Alluka pulls her eyes away from the lovers, not for the first time wondering how it must be like. She finds Pouf standing at the door, staring at the two with a scrunched up face. It's a painful expression. He is quick to get rid of it when he sees Alluka is staring at him. He smiles pleasantly. "Come now miss Alluka."

"Coming." Alluka walks out of the room, Pouf closing the door behind them. She walks with Pouf behind her, fiddling with her fingers. The person she's been seeing the most is Pouf these pass couple of days. He can get upset easily and he gets angry but Alluka finds she likes him. She understands him at least.

He's lonely. Alluka knows how it feels to be lonely. She's spent most of her life in a room by herself. She knows how it looks like.

Alluka glances back at Pouf, catching how those yellow eyes are glossed over. It looks like he's about to cry. He gets like this too. When he sees Komugi and Meruem. He mumbles things about him not being a worthy guard. That he shouldn't have let this happen.

Sometimes he's angry and Alluka is worried for Komugi.

Alluka looks forward so Pouf doesn't know she saw his face before she speaks. "Hey Pouf, would you like to play with me?"

"Play with you?" Pouf takes a moment to respond and she knows if she would look back he would look calm and collected.

"Yeah. Your wings are so beautiful. You're the prettiest man I've ever seen. I want to draw you." Alluka smiles back at Pouf, beaming.

"...I suppose you can. The king made you my responsibility. I have no other duties." Pouf takes his responsibilities from the king very seriously. Alluka caught how those eyes had widen a bit, surprised at her words.

"I'm not the best drawer but i'll try my best!" Alluka giggles, grabbing Pouf's hand and dragging the man towards her room. Pouf wiggles his hand out of her grip once they're in her room.

"Refrain from pulling me." He says shortly.

"Sorry I just got so excited." She doesn't let that sour face dampen her mood. She gets her paper and pencil ready. "You can sit or stand. Either one is good!"

"I've noticed that you spend most of your time drawing or coloring. Is it that fun to you?" Pouf raises his eyebrow. He stands, his blonde hair framing his face in such a way...Alluka wasn't kidding when she said he was the prettiest man she's seen.

"Yeah! It's great! I can make things pretty and...I can draw new worlds." She smiles, looking over at Pouf who is staring at her. "When the humans controlled this lab, I spent most of my time drawing. I liked thinking of myself being in the worlds I drew. I didn't like the one I was in."

"I see." Pouf watches as Alluka sits on the floor, looking up at him with those big blue eyes. "It would be a wondrous thing if you could draw a new world..." Those yellow eyes get glossed over.

"Could you spread your wings?" Alluka asks. Pouf seems to consider this before he spreads them. Alluka can't help to stare in awe at all the pretty colors.

"You are the only one who stares at me with such a look." He points out, his wings fluttering gently. "My beauty is nothing compared to the king's."

"I like all the colors. The more color the better!" She doesn't say anything about the king. The ants don't take kindly to any words spoken against him. Even though Alluka finds Pouf much prettier than the king. She smiles to herself as she starts to draw Pouf the best she can. "If you could draw a world pouf, what would it be like?"

"...I have nothing to change." Pouf stiffens, Alluka keeps drawing.

"You wish for nothing to be different?" Alluka locks eyes with Pouf. The man glares at her for a moment but after awhile, she sees something give in those yellow eyes.

"There is something." He mutters, tightening his fist. "I would draw a world without her in it."

Alluka doesn't need to ask who 'her' is. She already knows.

"Do you think this world would be better like that?" Alluka keeps drawing.

"Much better. I wouldn't have failed as a guard and the king would have a suitable queen picked out-" Pouf's eyes widen like he gave something away. He locks eyes with Alluka, they're so dark. "Speak to anyone what I said and-"

"I won't. I know you don't like Komugi but I don't know if the world would be better without her. I don't think you failed as a guard. The king is happy and you're keeping him safe."

"We must also make sure that he gets the best. That blind human is not the best for him-" Pouf starts to get livid. Alluka knows this is a losing battle. She won't get anything across to Pouf about this subject. Alluka knows if she says something about Pouf being jealous he will probably just leave in a huff.

"If Komugi was erased from this world, the King would be sad." Alluka keeps drawing. "The picture wouldn't be as bright."

Pouf clenches his jaw. He doesn't say anything about that.

"Are you almost done?" He snaps.

"Almost." Alluka isn't good with the wings. She can't draw them as good as they look. "I couldn't really get the wings right." Alluka shows him the picture. Pouf wrinkles his nose.

"You are not very good."

"Hey! I tried." She huffs.

"Now that you've had your fun i'm going to excuse myself-"

"Wait." Alluka stands up. Pouf stops walking towards the door, glancing back at her with those yellow eyes. "Could you play me a song?"

"Play you a song?" Pouf turns around to face her.

"I heard you the other day...you were playing a violin. It sounded so soothing."

He stares at her for a moment before he smiles. "Well at least you have taste in music." Alluka beams at him, feeling like she just got herself some points with the ant. "I can humor you for a few songs." He flies off, leaving Alluka sitting there. She sits on her bed just as he comes back with his violin. "You may not be able to draw a new world, but I do say that music can take you places."

Alluka listens to the man as he plays the violin. He stands so straight, the violin under his chin and his arm stroking the cords so gently. A beautiful man, playing a beautiful song. He keeps his eyes closed and Alluka really believes that he's been taken away by it. In this moment, it's the most honest response she's seen out of Pouf.

He plays a song that has undertones of darkness and despair. Alluka it's positive that it came straight from the heart.

She can't help to smile. She's happy she got to hear it.

But it is a lonely song, just as she expected.

* * *

" I have already discussed this with my guards but I need to discuss this with you as well." Meruem says after placing a kiss on her lips. Very delicately. "It is about Gon."

"Is he okay? Have you heard from him?" Komugi's eyes widen, hugging the king tighter. She's gotten use to his tail being around her and she finds it comforting.

"Pitou has made contact with us. She told us that he is going through treatment as we speak. The humans are not sure how many treatments it will take. Pitou is suspicious if they are really helping Gon and so am I. Project X was meant to be the strongest thing the humans created. I would be a fool not to think they wouldn't use such a piece against me." Meruem locks eyes with Komugi, his face stone and those eyes strict. "If Pitou finds that is what they are doing, she will kill him."

"But...But Gon wouldn't h-hurt us." Komugi frowns deeply. Meruem's eyebrows furrow at such a look and he tightens his tail around her slightly as if that hat would get rid of it.

"Maybe not Gon but project X is another story my queen. Do not worry. Pitou is watching the humans carefully. It is possible that they are going to help him but it's not likely." Meruem is honest and straight forward. "You've gotten pale."

"I-I'm just w-worried about him." Komugi trembles. She doesn't want Gon to die but if he were to be used by the scientist...Gon wouldn't want to hurt people. He's not a killer.

"I see." Meruem touches her face, pulling her closer. "As my queen I wanted you to understand my plans of action. It seems the humans have also placed a dome around us. It can not keep us in but it makes me think they may be planning something else. Pouf has urged that we should leave. What do you think?"

Komugi swallows. He's really asking her for her opinion on something that is very important. This isn't the first time. Meruem always tells her what's going on. He keeps her informed. He also takes what she says to heart even though he does as he pleases as king.

"It seems b-bad that they have us blocked in but...how w-will Gon find us if we leave?"

"Pitou can find her way back to me."

Komugi thinks for a moment. She thinks of this like a game of gungi. If they want to win, what is the best option? Komugi wishes she could see Meruem's face when she tells him her opinion. She reaches out to touch his face...

He is grinning.

"That is what I was thinking. For such a fragile creature you are crafty. The years you spent perfecting Gungi have made you a powerful strategist" Komugi feels her face heat up from such praise. She shakes her hands to dismiss it but the King isn't having any of that. He grabs her hands and places them on his chest.

"I j-just thought it would be the s-safest option since we don't know what they're doing." Komugi touches his tough skin lightly. He's cold but Komugi doesn't mind it. She trails her finger tips around, drawing a picture in her mind of a board chest and shoulders.

"Safety is my priority when it comes to you. You are safe with me." Meruem pulls her closer. When she put her hand down, he is quick to speak. "Do not stop that."

Komugi smiles, going back to touching the King. She likes doing this and when it's too much the king will be quick to tell her 'that's enough'.

He's quiet for a second. "I will send some of my men to look out for a suitable new palace. Do you have any preferences?"

"Anywhere i-is fine." Komugi moves up to touch is face, feeling over his lips and over his eyes. He must usually have such a strict look on his face. She moves down his neck, moving down his chest to his stomach. She feels the muscles tighten but the king hasn't told her to stop so she feels in the creases of his abs. He is a very strong man. "What color is your skin?" She asks the question that she's been curious about.

"Where you are touching is green."

"Dark or light?" Komugi smiles. She likes things that are green though she doesn't know what the color could possibly look like but she's sure it's beautiful if Meruem is green.

"Light." He grabs her hand and puts it up on his body. It feels like his shoulder. "Black." He puts Komugi's hand higher, on the top of his head. "Dark green."

"Many colors. Beautiful." Komugi moves her hands down to his abs again. She dare not go lower. She would never say it to the king but she's been curious about...that. It doesn't feel as if he's wearing clothes.

"Why is your face red?" He questions, touching her face with his hands. "You're very warm." He says cautiously. "Do you not feel well?"

"N-No I feel find I'm just..." She fiddles with her fingers. She can feel his intense gaze.

"Speak."

"I-I don't want to." She swallows when the air changes.

"If you are sick, you must speak it." He growls. Komugi fiddles with her fingers. She knows it's best to answer him. Though she is his queen he is quick to get angry at those who oppose him.

"I'm n-not sick I am just curious and I e-embarrassed myself."

"What are you curious about? Speak. I don't want to repeat myself."

"May I t-touch lower?" Komugi shakes at her request. She feels faint. She can't believe she just asked the king such a question-

"You may."

Komugi's breath catches. She stares at the king with wide eyes, waiting for him to take it back but he doesn't.

"Is that why you are getting so red? You may touch your king."

Komugi takes a deep breath and slowly, so so slowly trails her fingers lower. It doesn't feel like human genitals. There's a hump, and it feels hard like a shell. She moves her fingers lower but then she's no longer touching him.

"What is this?" Komugi asks, brushing against the hard shell again.

"It is a protective shell for my reproductive organs. It comes off when I need to relieve myself or when it is time to mate."

"O-Oh." Komugi pulls her hand away, fiddling with her fingers again.

"You are still red."

"I f-feel embarrassed for asking about it."

"You are curious about my reproductive organs. You should be curious about your mate. Just as i'm curious about you. The internet lets me learn about you but you do not have such information. You may ask me questions but I will say that I will not take the shell off around you till it is time to mate."

"T-That's fine." She leans in and wraps her arms around him, shoving her face in his chest. "T-Thank you for letting me touch um...d-do you wanna play?"

"Yes." Meruem wraps his arms around her. "After I will have someone send up your food. You will accompany me on a walk around the palace."

Komugi sighs, glad that moment is over. She tries not to think of Gon. She will pray that the scientists are trying to help him...She wants him to come back and then they can stay together like Alluka was talking so happily about. But if they are planning on sending Gon to kill the ants...

She knows that Meruem will kill him without hesitation. It makes her stomach twist so she focuses on the game at hand. She moves her piece and she can't help to think there's a real life gungi game going on right now.

She is on one side...all the rest of the humans are on the other.

This may become a war.

* * *

"I've finished, let me see yours." Alluka's ears twitch on her head when Pouf looks over his paper before he hands it to her.

"I believe my drawing skills are a bit better than yours." Pouf says with a slight smile. Alluka had gotten him to stay after he played a couple of songs by challenging him to a draw off. They had to draw their ideal worlds.

Alluka's eyes widen as she takes in the very detailed drawing of the King sitting on the throne with Pouf, Pitou, and Youpi standing close. They are all bowing towards the king. There's no one else but them. It's a very good drawing but Pouf used no color. As expected there's no Komugi.

"Wow you're amazing." Alluka pouts. "Mine is still good too though!" Alluka hands over her drawing. She watches as the ant's eyes soak in what she drew. She smiles when those yellow eyes widen.

The drawing has Alluka surrounded by all her friends and family. Killua is holding one of her hands, Gon is holding the other. Pouf stands behind her. The king and Komugi are off to the side together. Pitou and Youpi are more towards the back of the drawing. Everyone has their own color. It's not detailed like Pouf's and you probably wouldn't see it in a museum anywhere but Alluka is still proud of the picture she's made.

"This is your ideal world?" Pouf's fingers brush over himself in the picture, and the big smile that Alluka had drawn on his face.

"Yup! I want us all to be together and to be happy." Alluka plays with her dress, rocking back and forth as Pouf still stares at it. "I've learned that I can't draw a new world but I can work to make it the world I want. I just have to wait for Big brother and Gon to come back...then it will be like this! Or at least I can only hope it will be."

Pouf looks at Alluka for a moment, stares at those bright blue eyes filled with a child's wonder and hope. He slowly looks at the picture he drew. Alluka places the pictures side by side.

"Your picture is pretty too but don't you think mine is more colorful? The more people the better!" Alluka cheers.

"Yours is more colorful because you used more color. I could use more color." Pouf stares at Alluka's picture a bit longer before looking at his.

"Yes that's true. But I don't think smiles would fit the mood of your picture."

Pouf doesn't say anything to that. His eyebrows furrow, those yellow eyes staring at Alluka. She looks back and smiles brightly. He stares at her a moment longer, analyzing her before he quickly stands up. His blonde locks get in the way so Alluka can no longer see that flawless face.

Just when he stands, Alluka hears something, her ears turning to the left to hone in on it. The door opens, Youpi coming in with a serious look on his face.

"The king wants us to report to him. He has decided to move."

Pouf's eyes light up. "He's taken my advice?" He looks honored, his whole face brightening up. "We must report right away-"

"wait we're moving?" Alluka's eyes widen in alarm. She grabs Pouf's hand right when he was about to take off, his wings spread and everything. "How will big brother and Gon find us?"

Pouf pauses, he glances down at those blue eyes and his lips twitch. "I must report to the king." His expression goes back indifferent. He rips his arm from her grip and flies out quickly leaving Alluka standing there.

Alluka grips her fist and swallows down the tightening of her throat. She wastes no time and runs out of the room, following in the direction they went. She knows where the king's room is. That drawing will never come true if when Gon and her big brother get out if they can't find them!

She told Gon and big brother she would wait for them. And she meant it.

* * *

 **Thank you for all your support! I'm having fun writing this story and i'm glad that you all like it. Please keep the reviews coming. I'm so happy to have gotten into the 200s.**

 **Till next time.**


End file.
